my cheating girlfriend's plan backfired badly after she ghosted me and tried to ruin my reputation me 30 male and her 32 female met 5 years ago and we've been together for the last three of those years the first two were spent just casually dating I love this girl we do have arguments a little more frequently lately but that's because of my insecurity lately see about a year ago I was going through a death in the family and I wasn't able to be there for her we decided to take a break for a few weeks a
mutual decision for me to get my head on straight we talked often during those weeks nothing deep as we wanted to give each other space weeks after we got back together after I pressed I found out she started flirting with a co worker went out a couple of times and went down on him too she showed me the texts we worked through it but I've always felt insecure as they see each other every day recently a few days ago we had a fight we had made plans and she canceled the day of cool right so
I say okay she has a habit of doing so last minute and it annoyed me but whatever so later we talk I asked her how her day was Etc she sends me a few pictures and I see a restaurant in the background when we meet later I ask her about who she was with and she doesn't exactly answer but after taking it upon myself to look through her texts I see a conversation with the same co worker talking about having lunch together at a very unique type of restaurant the same that was in the background
I was so mad I asked her if it was him and she repeatedly said no I left and went home I woke up and saw was blocked everywhere I decided not to bother her as we both needed time to calm down today I decided to look on her Facebook through someone else's account it says she's in a relationship the co workers account says the same for context when we were together she never once put in a relationship but I didn't care it's only Facebook suddenly her and the co worker who showed up single are now
both in relationships I'm going crazy I've messaged her friends and everyone she knows who I do but no one is responding what do I do I can't work I can't eat or sleep if she broke up with me I'd be okay but she just chose to do it in such a way any answers I need someone to tell me what's going on I feel like I'm starting to come off as a crazy person but what am I supposed to do edit her friend just responded She's Dating the other guy so yeah 5 years gone I've
just blocked everyone she knows I don't think I want to see anymore thanks everyone let's see what the community has to say the first comment says you say if she broke up with me I'd be okay she did break up with you she did it in a rude and hurtful Way by ghosting you grieve the loss and move on once you are happily involved with another she'll probably appear to try and haunt your butt again don't let her back in not even as a friend because friends don't do that to each other the next comment
wants to say this sounds like something a teenage girl would do she is immature and childish she might have helped you out by acting like this now leave her alone and her friends and family if anyone decides to text back tell them to f off interesting so the two of you definitely have conflicting views on what a break means but I'd have to agree with the comment here Opa she definitely did break up with you she just didn't use her words and not having closure sucks but blocking everyone she knows is a good start to
a new beginning without her you don't need her you don't need anyone who is going to screw around on you while you're already grieving don't let her or them take up any more space in your brain she doesn't deserve the satisfaction of knowing that you're having sleepless nights update a week later it's been over a week since I 30 male found out my ex-girlfriend best friend of 5 years 32 female had been having a long-term affair with a co worker she ghosted me when I found out first things first you people saved my life I
admit I was having very dark thoughts during those first few days and the words and sentiments of you Reddit folk helped me trudge along I still come on to read your words when my resolve waivers there's a couple of redditors as you guys saved my effing life thank you I finally told my family and friends some of them knew already as our friend groups were sort of Blended after 5 years to say my mother was hurt was an understatement she loved my ex and thought I'd marry her I'd taken your advice and just went completely
silent I purged my house of everything that reminded me of her everything she got me or left here I packed it into boxes and asked one of my friends to deliver it to one of hers I had wanted to be proactive I couldn't sit still when my friend got back he told me he gave her friend an earful about about how I'd been treated I didn't ask him to apparently she was apologetic she supposedly didn't know my ex cheated yeah right I think she just doesn't want to look bad now and is coming out X
is a cheater no way she didn't know but whatever yesterday a blank random Facebook profile messaged me hi me I got that stuff from Talia I get you're probably mad at me I get that I effed up by not breaking up sooner before things happened but I think it's really cruel of you to tell people our business and even return things I got you as gifts they were meant for you there is no reason to be so ugly about everything this is exactly why I did not say anything I really think me just disappearing will
help you move on faster there's no reason for it one day I hoped we could both look back on our relationship fondly is something that helped us become better people I hope we can reach that point in ourselves ignored and blocked she can f off I've got my appetite back I still have moments where I just can't help but break down but I feel anger more than anything else I'm burying myself in work and most of my interactions with people involve a good deal of Faking it but I'll get there someday what worries me is
my anger it's easier just to vent here here I won't get looked on with pity or tiptoed around thank you guys hey sometimes we have to fake it till we make it it's okay op you're getting there you're going to be just fine I'm proud of you for ignoring her and blocking her update two the ghosting cheating X recap a couple of months ago my ex lover of 5 years cheated on me then ghosted when I confronted her I went straight to no contact she tried to incite a response in me with messages from blank
accounts I didn't respond now a few days ago my dad passed away somehow she found out on social media I have received such an outpouring of support from my friends and some of them are friends with her friends my friends already know not to talk to me about her or share anything about me with her or her friends me I'm Not Too Faced it's on social media so she was bound to find out eventually my mother is broken my ex who has been blocked by my mother and family decides to text my mother her condolences
she goes so far as to imply that being the caring person she is she'd like to offer my mother her support and attend the funeral guess who with if you guess the affair partner then you're right why because he will support her while she's supporting my mother this effing sucks because my mom loved her and they were close until she cheated mom didn't bother responding she just told me what happened told me she doesn't want her there or to reach out again and will leave it to me to handle it because she doesn't want unnecessary
drama after all of this now I have no choice but to confront her I also know confronting her is giving her exactly what she wants she'll be able to say I'm the one reaching out to her what should I do what should I say I have not dealt with it yet but I plan to edit she actually did say that she wants to offer my mother's support without the risk of hostility from me yeah because effing ignoring her is an attack attack on her apparently edit mini update thank you all so much for the condolences
I'd have loved to answer each one of you individually thank you all from the bottom of mine and my family's Hearts I took your advice into consideration at the end of the day regardless of the harsh way I personally want to put my ex in her place I think I see things in my mother's way I don't want any sort of conflict ill will or cruel words spoken about the circumstances in which I'm putting my dad to rest I just want peace until after the funeral I decided I'll not respond to her in any way
I've also spoken to my family through the group to tell them about what happened understandably many were angry and wanted to rip her a new one I pleaded with them to restrain themselves that we needed to stand in solidarity and agreed we will all meet her attempts with complete silence and to also set as much as possible on their profiles in private in case she's creeping I got I think all of them to agree that if she reaches out to them we just ignore and block as many times as necessary we won't even acknowledge she
exists everyone's so protective of ma right now so there's a new Unity to the family that's really humbling I'll speak to the funeral Personnel about the ex to make sure in case she does show up she'll be turned away I'll go to the police station tomorrow to at least inform them just in case maybe they can advise me as well if a restraining order is my only recourse I'll take steps in that direction lastly when I told my friends about it they weren't surprised turns out the ex is posting about being devastated by the loss
of Uncle dad's name or some such BS and soaking up the pity like a leech my friends had already agreed amongst themselves to keep this under wraps to not stress me out they volunteered to be spokesman and spread the word to literally everyone that she isn't welcome and that will have security to keep her out if need be they'll also run interference for me the whole day I was really touched they insisted on it that I should just focus on Ma and they'll take care of everything to do with her I told them I don't
even want to hear anything until after the funeral right now my priority is making sure Ma isn't affected by anything else I'm staying with her until the funeral she's a really religious woman so she doesn't want to be too harsh with the ex and she says she's forgiven her or is trying to so the best she can do is continue to just ignore her I'll update after the burial I think thanks for showing me not to react emotionally God bless it's really unfair of her to make your father's death about her being worried about whether
she shows up or not is not something you need to burden yourself with at your father's funeral she's a very selfish person I'm sorry op update 3 she's flipped wasn't going to post another update but so many who've weighed in have asked for one so here I am look through Post history to see how all this came to be my dad's funeral service was beautiful one of his close friends asked if he could put up the time and location on his social media so my dad's friends out of state could see and attend and they
did fortunately I did not hear from the ex in the days leading up to it and I didn't care to her parents did attend though they didn't stay along and they most mostly spoke with ma but I hovered around her the whole day just in case not a word was mentioned about my ex they were cordial with me and I didn't get the sense they were unhappy with me but they had the tack to not talk about anything else well sweet honestly in the last few days I've gotten a few friend requests from people in
the X's camp but I ignored them yesterday my friend same guy who returned her crap showed me a message from tul a friend of the ex who I had her crap sent to they were basically spewing hate my way I'm immature pathetic trying to make my ex's life miserable I'm shaming her I'm not who she thought I was and at the end of the day I'm just bitter Etc I don't understand as I've done literally nothing to this woman and as I'm not talking to Talia I ask him to extract what this is all about
and she sends him a screenshot of a YouTube video shared by one of our shared friends to her I will say one of the content creators is named after a fox I guess our shared friend consumes this type of content on YouTube and he found my story honestly I don't mind it just felt weird it was my dad's funeral and posting the Facebook message that named Talia that gave me away fake name but posted the message word for word he particularly loved the comments dressing her down and in an act of pettiness I guess decided
to send the video to Talia captioned sound familiar why he didn't tell me first I don't know it didn't take long for her to reach my ex and holy crap out of curiosity I decided to accept one or two of the friend requests then Yep this is why I've gotten pages of dribble calling me abusive for not having the courage to face the woman I'd be sming but dragging her name through incel Echo Chambers and how my ex is beside herself that I'm not only denying her the opportunity to say bye to Uncle dad's name
but talking openly enough about her private business that it's trickling into her workmates conversation that is if that isn't bad enough I'm psychologically attacking her by encouraging strangers on the internet to bash her her accusations honestly got under my skin and I responded only to ask what about the post wasn't true I tried to explain that I first made the post in a moment of immense emotional upheaval and panic and I just needed advice from people who suffered through the same that I did not reveal anything to expose her or myself to strangers but she
was adamant she told me my ex apparently cried when she heard some of the comments and that her new boyfriend wants to settle things with me made me laugh a little to be honest that the least I could do is reach out to my ex and apologize to her that if I have unresolved issues my ex is willing to have a sit down enclosure but I didn't respond I'm tired honestly I don't care about talking to her and I honestly don't think I have to justify making an anonymous post on Reddit to sort through what
was a difficult time for me what struck me most is that according to the cousin who I honestly feel was in contact with the ex while talking to me was more offended at what commenters said than what I said she couldn't pick out a single thing I lied about not one but no FS given I already blocked her cousin I've done nothing wrong and I don't think I have to justify anything I've said or done least of all to her edit thank you all for the support you have given me these last few months this
community has been among my most Resolute supporters giving me strength with your own stories of betrayal and perseverance even some of the harsher advice was incredibly useful to me I truly believe if I had every last one of you in my ear a year ago I'd have been spared so much pain that I now believe in part was self-inflicted you're the best one of the best things I ever did for myself was ask you all for help when I couldn't tell anyone else this woman is clearly way too concerned about your life and what you're
doing it's funny she wasn't this concerned with you when she was actually dating you she needs to get a life update a year from the cheating x 30 seconds female who ghosted me 30 seconds male wasn't really ever planning on updating this again and not sure if this is the place to or the right way to do it but I feel like I should just for the sake of those who've been asking me for an update everything in my post history but long story short when I discovered my ex was cheating on my long term
she completely ghosted me and tried to paint me as an abusive stalker the truth did come out and she was mostly ostracized my father passed away early afterward and she tried to use it as an opportunity to insert drama in my life my dad's memorial is next month preparations underway and that coupled with the posts I made over Father's Day are I think what started this the update I got an apology in it she made reference to a few things going on in my life that she could only know by following my socials the woman
I'm seeing my dad's upcoming Memorial Etc but I blocked her everywhere long ago and set things to private so I can only assume someone is running their mouth I can't go over all of it because the email was really long and there's a lot of sensitive info but here it goes she tells me she's sorry she damaged me so much get over yourself she simultaneously acknowledges she cheated but explained she was scared that it looked like we were getting serious and her whole life was starting to feel like it was following a set plan and
her fears led her to explore something she felt was a temporary escape from the impending end of her life as she knew it she meant to end it and take it to her grave but I found out and in her panic she felt she could only run and do whatever she could to establish her reputation she says reality began to hit when she started to date the affair partner because everyone knew he wasn't accepted with her friends or family especially her dad who is particularly scathing in his assessment of the affair partner this led to
them breaking up and getting back together several times she said she realized the affair partner didn't take her as seriously as I did because he constantly reminded her she wasn't worth the drama and every every time she brought up taking the next steps he would be indecisive and wishy-washy she said after seeing how my family treated her and how his treats her she's not even sure anymore a lot of it was talking about her faults and how she's in therapy to help improve her relationship I won't lie there are parts of it that made me
feel she was being genuine I didn't respond but I showed it to my girlfriend former situationship turned girlfriend and she understandably showed no sympathy and suggested I send this to the affair partner but at this point I don't care care I waited so long for this apology a while ago but now that I have it I feel nothing I don't want to respond or involve myself in her drama with the affair partner I just don't care I mean I feel Vindicated but I just feel a greater sense of loss for the time I wasted on
her I have not told my friends and I won't I'll pretend I saw nothing yeah so that's it it does get better guys I'm not the same truthfully but it does get better one quick short response from the community the opposite of hate is truly indifferent you've come a long way in your healing Journey continue growing as a person wow A year later and she's still just as selfish seems she's still living in the past and really thinks that you've just been waiting on your knees for her every day since dday what a joke she's
delusional so glad to hear that you've moved on and you're living your life as you should your ex should take notes what are your thoughts and thank you for joining us today like And subscribe and hit that notification Bell so you don't miss out on our next video you would want to miss out on new content would you until next time