LIFE HAS A STRANGE WAY OF TEACHING US LESSONS THE MORE WE TRY TO CONTROL EVERY LITTLE DETAIL THE OUTCOMES THE TIMING THE WAY PEOPLE RESPOND THE MORE FRUSTRATED AND EXHAUSTED WE BECOME WE PLAN OUR LIVES DOWN TO THE SMALLEST STEPS THINKING THAT IF WE JUST TRY HARDER PUSH MORE AND NEVER LET GO THINGS WILL FINALLY FALL INTO PLACE BUT WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE? THAT THE MOMENT YOU STOP FORCING STOP GRASPING AND START TRUSTING EVERYTHING BEGINS TO FLOW EFFORTLESSLY? IT'S NOT ABOUT GIVING UP IT'S ABOUT UNDERSTANDING WHERE YOUR POWER TRULY
LIES THE STOICS MASTERED THIS WAY OF THINKING CENTURIES AGO MARCUS AURELIUS ONCE WROTE ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF ACCEPTING WHAT COMES NATURALLY AND NOT WASTING ENERGY FIGHTING AGAINST REALITY HE UNDERSTOOD THAT STRUGGLING AGAINST THINGS BEYOND OUR CONTROL ONLY LEADS TO SUFFERING THE REAL BATTLE IS ALWAYS WITHIN TRAINING THE MIND TO FOCUS ON WHAT CAN BE SHAPED AND LETTING GO OF THE REST AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE DIVING INTO TODAY THE MINDSET SHIFT THAT CAN TRANSFORM THE WAY YOU APPROACH SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS AND EVEN YOUR OWN PEACE OF MIND BECAUSE IF YOU'RE CONSTANTLY STRESSED FEELING LIKE NO MATTER
WHAT YOU DO THINGS JUST DON'T SEEM TO GO YOUR WAY THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT YOU MIGHT BE HOLDING ON TOO TIGHTLY TO THINGS THAT AREN'T MEANT TO BE CONTROLLED IN THE FIRST PLACE THIS VIDEO ISN'T JUST ANOTHER SELF IMPROVEMENT TALK THIS IS ABOUT SOMETHING DEEPER HOW TO LIVE WITH TRUE CONFIDENCE TO MOVE THROUGH LIFE WITH A SENSE OF CALM AND CERTAINTY INSTEAD OF ANXIETY AND FRUSTRATION AND TRUST ME IF YOU WATCH UNTIL THE END YOU'LL WALK AWAY WITH A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE ON HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE WITHOUT CHASING IT DESPERATELY
BEFORE WE GET INTO IT THERE'S A SIMPLE FREE FAVOUR I'LL ASK YOU IF YOU APPRECIATE WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE HIT THE SUBSCRIBE BUTTON IT TAKES LESS THAN A SECOND BUT IT HELPS BRING THIS CONTENT TO MORE PEOPLE WHO NEED IT LET'S DIVE IN WE SPEND SO MUCH OF OUR LIVES OBSESSING OVER RESULTS WAITING FOR THAT JOB OFFER HOPING THAT RELATIONSHIP WORKS OUT STRESSING OVER WHETHER OUR EFFORTS WILL PAY OFF WE TELL OURSELVES THAT IF WE JUST WORK A LITTLE HARDER PUSH A LITTLE MORE WE CAN FORCE THINGS TO GO OUR WAY BUT WHAT HAPPENS? THE
MORE WE CLING TO A SPECIFIC OUTCOME THE MORE ANXIOUS WE BECOME THE PROCESS STOPS FEELING FULFILLING AND OUR HAPPINESS BECOMES ENTIRELY DEPENDENT ON SOMETHING WE CAN'T FULLY CONTROL AND THAT'S WHERE WE TRAP OURSELVES THE STOICS UNDERSTOOD THIS WELL EPICTETUS TAUGHT THAT WE SUFFER NOT BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENS BUT BECAUSE OF OUR ATTACHMENT TO WHAT WE WANT TO HAPPEN HE SAID DO NOT SEEK FOR THINGS TO HAPPEN THE WAY YOU WANT THEM TO RATHER WISH THAT WHAT HAPPENS HAPPENS AS IT SHOULD AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY IN OTHER WORDS INSTEAD OF TYING YOUR HAPPINESS TO A
SPECIFIC OUTCOME FOCUS ON THE PROCESS FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS YOUR DISCIPLINE YOUR MINDSET AND LET GO OF EVERYTHING ELSE THINK ABOUT AN ARTIST PAINTING A MASTERPIECE IF THEY'RE OBSESSED WITH MAKING EVERY BRUSH STROKE PERFECT WORRYING ABOUT HOW OTHERS WILL JUDGE THEIR WORK THEY'LL NEVER GET INTO A CREATIVE FLOW BUT WHEN THEY DETACH FROM THE FINAL RESULT AND SIMPLY FOCUS ON THE ACT OF PAINTING SOMETHING INCREDIBLE HAPPENS THEY BECOME FULLY IMMERSED IN THE MOMENT THE WORK BECOMES EFFORTLESS AND IRONICALLY THAT'S WHEN THEY CREATE THEIR BEST ART THE SAME PRINCIPLE APPLIES TO EVERYTHING
IN LIFE WORK RELATIONSHIPS PERSONAL GROWTH WHEN YOU STOP FIXATING ON HOW THINGS MUST TURN OUT YOU GIVE YOURSELF THE FREEDOM TO ENJOY THE JOURNEY THIS IS ESPECIALLY TRUE IN RELATIONSHIPS HAVE YOU EVER SEEN SOMEONE TRY TOO HARD TO IMPRESS ANOTHER PERSON? THEIR ENERGY FEELS NEEDY DESPERATE ALMOST FORCED AND WHAT HAPPENS? IT PUSHES PEOPLE AWAY BUT WHEN SOMEONE IS CONFIDENT AT EASE WITH THEMSELVES AND NOT OBSESSED WITH A PARTICULAR OUTCOME THEY NATURALLY ATTRACT OTHERS WHY? BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT CONTROLLED BY FEAR THEY TRUST THAT WHATEVER IS MEANT TO HAPPEN WILL HAPPEN THAT'S THE POWER OF DETACHMENT NOW
LET'S TALK ABOUT SUCCESS SO MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT IF THEY DON'T ACHIEVE A SPECIFIC GOAL BY A CERTAIN TIME THEY FAILED THEY TREAT LIFE LIKE A RIGID CHECKLIST GRADUATE BY THIS AGE MAKE THIS MUCH MONEY GET MARRIED ACHIEVE THIS LEVEL OF SUCCESS AND IF THINGS DON'T GO ACCORDING TO PLAN THEY SPIRAL INTO SELF DOUBT BUT HERE'S THE THING SUCCESS ISN'T A STRAIGHT PATH IT'S FULL OF TWISTS SETBACKS AND UNEXPECTED OPPORTUNITIES IF YOU'RE TOO ATTACHED TO ONE OUTCOME YOU MIGHT MISS AN EVEN BETTER ONE THAT LIFE IS TRYING TO BRING YOUR WAY TAKE A MOMENT AND
ASK YOURSELF WHAT AM I HOLDING ONTO TOO TIGHTLY? WHAT GOAL EXPECTATION OR OUTCOME IS CAUSING ME STRESS? NOW IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU RELEASE THAT GRIP NOT GIVING UP BUT TRUSTING THAT WHATEVER HAPPENS YOU'LL BE OKAY THAT'S DETACHMENT IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU STOP CARING IT MEANS YOU STOP NEEDING THINGS TO GO A CERTAIN WAY TO FEEL AT PEACE SO HOW DO YOU PRACTICE THIS IN REAL LIFE? FIRST REMIND YOURSELF DAILY THAT OUTCOMES ARE BEYOND YOUR CONTROL ALL YOU CAN CONTROL IS YOUR EFFORT YOUR DISCIPLINE AND YOUR MINDSET SECOND REFRAME YOUR THINKING INSTEAD OF I
NEED THIS TO HAPPEN SHIFT TO I TRUST THAT WHATEVER HAPPENS WILL BE FOR MY GROWTH AND FINALLY FOCUS ON THE PRESENT MOMENT THE MORE YOU IMMERSE YOURSELF IN NOW THE LESS POWER THE FUTURE HAS OVER YOU LIFE THROWS CHALLENGES AT US CONSTANTLY SOME DAYS EVERYTHING FLOWS EFFORTLESSLY AND OTHER DAYS IT FEELS LIKE THE WORLD IS WORKING AGAINST YOU THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PEOPLE WHO CRUMBLE UNDER PRESSURE AND THOSE WHO THRIVE ISN'T LUCK IT'S MINDSET THE WAY YOU THINK SHAPES HOW YOU EXPERIENCE LIFE AND IF YOU DON'T LEARN TO MASTER YOUR MIND YOUR MIND WILL MASTER YOU
YOU CAN'T ALWAYS CONTROL WHAT HAPPENS AROUND YOU THE ECONOMY OTHER PEOPLE'S ACTIONS UNEXPECTED OBSTACLES BUT YOU CAN CONTROL HOW YOU RESPOND THAT'S WHERE REAL POWER LIES WHEN YOU SHIFT YOUR MINDSET FROM REACTING TO RESPONDING EVERYTHING CHANGES PSYCHOLOGIST WILLIAM JAMES OFTEN CALLED THE FATHER OF MODERN PSYCHOLOGY ONCE SAID THE GREATEST WEAPON AGAINST STRESS IS OUR ABILITY TO CHOOSE ONE THOUGHT OVER ANOTHER THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE STOICS TAUGHT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BELIEVE EVERY THOUGHT THAT ENTERS YOUR MIND YOU DON'T HAVE TO LET EVERY DIFFICULT MOMENT DEFINE YOU INSTEAD YOU CAN TRAIN YOURSELF TO REFRAME SITUATIONS
TO STEP BACK AND SEE THEM FROM A NEW PERSPECTIVE HERE'S ANOTHER EXAMPLE IMAGINE YOU'RE GOING THROUGH A TOUGH TIME AT WORK YOU KEEP MAKING MISTAKES YOUR BOSS IS BREATHING DOWN YOUR NECK AND YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE FAILING ONE WAY TO APPROACH THIS IS TO THINK I'M TERRIBLE AT THIS I'LL NEVER GET BETTER MAYBE I'M JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH THAT'S A FIXED MINDSET AND IT TRAPS YOU IN SELF DOUBT BUT WHAT IF YOU CHANGE THAT THOUGHT? WHAT IF INSTEAD YOU SAID I'M LEARNING EVERY MISTAKE IS TEACHING ME SOMETHING THE PRESSURE I'M FEELING IS HELPING ME GROW
THAT'S A GROWTH MINDSET AND IT ALLOWS YOU TO TURN STRUGGLES INTO OPPORTUNITIES THE STOICS BELIEVE THAT EVERY CHALLENGE IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO PRACTICE VIRTUE PATIENCE RESILIENCE WISDOM SENECA ONCE SAID DIFFICULTIES STRENGTHEN THE MIND AS LABOR DOES THE BODY THAT MEANS EVERY STRUGGLE EVERY SETBACK EVERY MOMENT OF FRUSTRATION IS ACTUALLY TRAINING YOU TO BE STRONGER THINK OF IT LIKE LIFTING WEIGHTS IF YOU NEVER PUSH YOURSELF YOU NEVER BUILD STRENGTH THE SAME IS TRUE FOR YOUR MIND BUT LET'S BE HONEST MASTERING YOUR MINDSET ISN'T SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS OVERNIGHT IT TAKES DAILY PRACTICE ONE SIMPLE WAY TO START?
PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR INNER DIALOGUE ARE YOU CONSTANTLY FEEDING YOURSELF THOUGHTS OF FEAR DOUBT AND NEGATIVITY? OR ARE YOU TRAINING YOURSELF TO SEE OPPORTUNITIES TO REFRAME SITUATIONS TO STAY CALM IN THE FACE OF UNCERTAINTY? YOUR MIND IS LIKE A GARDEN WHAT YOU PLANT IS WHAT GROWS IF YOU PLANT SEEDS OF FEAR AND ANXIETY THAT'S WHAT WILL TAKE OVER BUT IF YOU PLANT SEEDS OF STRENGTH CLARITY AND RESILIENCE THOSE WILL GROW INSTEAD ANOTHER WAY TO STRENGTHEN YOUR MINDSET? TRAIN YOURSELF TO STAY IN THE PRESENT SO MUCH STRESS COMES FROM OBSESSING OVER THE PAST OR WORRYING ABOUT
THE FUTURE BUT THE ONLY THING YOU CAN EVER CONTROL IS THIS MOMENT RIGHT NOW THE NEXT TIME YOU FEEL OVERWHELMED ASK YOURSELF WHAT CAN I DO RIGHT NOW THAT WILL MOVE ME FORWARD? THAT ONE QUESTION CAN SNAP YOU OUT OF PANIC AND BRING YOU BACK TO WHAT MATTERS PATIENCE IS ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS TO PRACTICE ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE WORKING TOWARDS SOMETHING IMPORTANT YOU'VE PUT IN THE EFFORT DONE EVERYTHING RIGHT AND YET NOTHING SEEMS TO BE HAPPENING IT'S FRUSTRATING ISN'T IT THE WORLD TELLS US THAT SUCCESS SHOULD COME QUICKLY THAT IF WE'RE NOT SEEING INSTANT
RESULTS WE MUST BE DOING SOMETHING WRONG BUT THE TRUTH IS LIFE DOESN'T OPERATE ON OUR SCHEDULE IT MOVES ACCORDING TO ITS OWN RHYTHM AND TRYING TO RUSH THE PROCESS OFTEN LEADS TO DISAPPOINTMENT THE STOICS UNDERSTOOD THIS DEEPLY EPICTETUS ONCE SAID NO GREAT THING IS CREATED SUDDENLY THINK ABOUT THAT ANYTHING TRULY VALUABLE WISDOM STRENGTH SUCCESS TAKES TIME TO DEVELOP JUST LIKE YOU CAN'T FORCE A TREE TO GROW FASTER BY PULLING ON ITS BRANCHES YOU CAN'T FORCE LIFE TO GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT BEFORE THE TIME IS RIGHT THERE IS AN ORDER TO THINGS AND WHEN YOU
LEARN TO TRUST THAT TIMING YOU FREE YOURSELF FROM SO MUCH UNNECESSARY STRESS IMAGINE A YOUNG ARTIST WHO DREAMS OF MAKING A NAME FOR THEMSELVES THEY WORK TIRELESSLY POURING THEIR HEART INTO THEIR CRAFT BUT THEY'RE NOT SEEING THE RECOGNITION THEY WANT AT THIS POINT THEY HAVE TWO CHOICES THEY CAN EITHER BECOME FRUSTRATED LOSE FAITH AND GIVE UP OR THEY CAN TRUST THAT EVERY BRUSH STROKE EVERY PIECE OF WORK IS PREPARING THEM FOR SOMETHING GREATER EVEN IF THEY CAN'T SEE IT YET THOSE WHO TRUST THE PROCESS KEEP GOING AND EVENTUALLY THEY FIND THEMSELVES EXACTLY WHERE THEY'RE MEANT
TO BE WE LIVE IN A CULTURE OF INSTANT GRATIFICATION FAST FOOD FAST INFORMATION FAST SUCCESS WE'VE BEEN CONDITIONED TO BELIEVE THAT IF SOMETHING DOESN'T HAPPEN QUICKLY IT'S NOT WORTH WAITING FOR BUT SOME THINGS MUST TAKE TIME RELATIONSHIPS PERSONAL GROWTH MASTERING A SKILL ALL OF THESE REQUIRE PATIENCE SOCRATES ONCE SAID TO DO IS TO BE THIS MEANS THAT GROWTH IS IN THE PROCESS NOT JUST THE OUTCOME IF YOU'RE ALWAYS FOCUSED ON WHEN SOMETHING WILL HAPPEN YOU MISS OUT ON WHO YOU ARE BECOMING ALONG THE WAY BUT HERE'S THE TRICKY PART HOW DO YOU STAY PATIENT WHEN
YOU FEEL LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING THE STOICS WOULD SAY FOCUS ON WHAT'S IN YOUR CONTROL YOU CAN'T CONTROL THE TIMING BUT YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS YOU CAN KEEP SHOWING UP KEEP PUTTING IN THE WORK KEEP GROWING AS A PERSON AND MOST IMPORTANTLY YOU CAN TRUST THAT IF SOMETHING IS MEANT FOR YOU IT WILL COME NOT A SECOND TOO EARLY OR TOO LATE ONE OF THE GREATEST LESSONS STOICISM TEACHES IS THE POWER OF ACCEPTANCE MARCUS AURELIUS WROTE ACCEPT THE THINGS TO WHICH FATE BINDS YOU AND LOVE THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM FATE BRINGS YOU TOGETHER INSTEAD
OF RESISTING LIFE'S TIMING LEARN TO EMBRACE IT IF THINGS AREN'T HAPPENING AS FAST AS YOU WANT MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL IN THE PROCESS OF BECOMING THE PERSON WHO IS READY FOR THEM HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT WHEN YOU DESPERATELY CHASE SOMETHING IT ALWAYS SEEMS TO MOVE FURTHER AWAY WHETHER IT'S A JOB A RELATIONSHIP OR EVEN SUCCESS THE MORE FRANTIC AND NEEDY YOUR ENERGY THE MORE THINGS SEEM TO SLIP THROUGH YOUR FINGERS IT'S ALMOST LIKE THE UNIVERSE SENSES DESPERATION AND RESPONDS BY PULLING BACK BUT WHEN YOU ACT WITH PURPOSE WITH CALM CONFIDENCE EVERYTHING STARTS TO
ALIGN NATURALLY THERE'S A POWERFUL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CHASING AND ATTRACTING THE STOICS UNDERSTOOD THIS WELL EPICTETUS ONCE SAID FIRST SAY TO YOURSELF WHAT YOU WOULD BE AND THEN DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IN OTHER WORDS BEFORE YOU ACT BE CLEAR ON WHY YOU'RE ACTING DESPERATE ACTION COMES FROM FEAR FEAR OF MISSING OUT FEAR OF FAILURE FEAR OF NOT BEING ENOUGH BUT PURPOSEFUL ACTION COMES FROM A PLACE OF CLARITY AND STRENGTH WHEN YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU STAND FOR YOUR ACTIONS BECOME MORE DELIBERATE MORE GROUNDED LET'S TAKE AN EXAMPLE IMAGINE TWO PEOPLE SEARCHING
FOR A JOB THE FIRST PERSON IS DESPERATE THEY SEND OUT APPLICATIONS EVERYWHERE APPLYING FOR JOBS THEY DON'T EVEN WANT PANICKING OVER EVERY REJECTION THEIR ENERGY IS SCATTERED ANXIOUS AND UNCERTAIN THE SECOND PERSON HOWEVER IS FOCUSED THEY KNOW THEIR STRENGTHS THEY TAKE TIME TO CRAFT MEANINGFUL APPLICATIONS AND THEY PREPARE WITHOUT OBSESSING OVER IMMEDIATE RESULTS WHO DO YOU THINK IS MORE LIKELY TO GET HIRED THE ONE WHO IS CALM CONFIDENT AND STRATEGIC NOT THE ONE WHO IS ACTING FROM FEAR THIS APPLIES TO RELATIONSHIPS TOO IF YOU ENTER A RELATIONSHIP OUT OF DESPERATION FEARING LONELINESS SEEKING VALIDATION IT
OFTEN LEADS TO DISAPPOINTMENT BUT WHEN YOU APPROACH RELATIONSHIPS WITH SELF RESPECT AND CONFIDENCE YOU ATTRACT HEALTHIER MORE FULFILLING CONNECTIONS PEOPLE ARE DRAWN TO THOSE WHO ARE SECURE IN THEMSELVES NOT THOSE WHO ARE GRASPING FOR ATTENTION ARISTOTLE SPOKE OF EUDEMONIA A STATE OF LIVING WITH PURPOSE AND FULFILLMENT HE BELIEVED THAT TRUE HAPPINESS COMES NOT FROM CHASING EXTERNAL THINGS BUT FROM ALIGNING YOUR ACTIONS WITH YOUR VIRTUES AND VALUES ACT WITH WISDOM INTEGRITY AND PURPOSE AND LET THE OUTCOMES TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES WHEN YOU MOVE WITH INTENTION RATHER THAN PANIC YOU START MAKING BETTER DECISIONS YOU STOP WASTING
TIME ON THINGS THAT DON'T ALIGN WITH YOUR TRUE GOALS THINK OF A SEASONED CHESS PLAYER VERSUS A BEGINNER THE BEGINNER REACTS IMPULSIVELY MAKING MOVES OUT OF FEAR AND UNCERTAINTY THE EXPERT HOWEVER PLAYS WITH PATIENCE SEEING THE BIGGER PICTURE MAKING DELIBERATE CHOICES LIFE WORKS THE SAME WAY IF YOU'RE CONSTANTLY REACTING TO FEAR YOU'LL MAKE CHOICES THAT LEAD TO MORE CHAOS BUT IF YOU TAKE A STEP BACK ACT WITH CLARITY AND TRUST THE PROCESS YOU MOVE CLOSER TO THE LIFE YOU ACTUALLY WANT SO HOW DO YOU SHIFT FROM ACTING OUT OF DESPERATION TO ACTING WITH PURPOSE FIRST
GET CLEAR ON YOUR WHY ASK YOURSELF AM I DOING THIS BECAUSE I TRULY WANT IT OR BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OF NOT HAVING IT SECOND SLOW DOWN DESPERATION RUSHES PURPOSE MOVES WITH PATIENCE INSTEAD OF MAKING DECISIONS FROM A PLACE OF FEAR GIVE YOURSELF TIME TO REFLECT AND CHOOSE WISELY AND FINALLY TRUST YOURSELF YOU DON'T NEED TO FORCE THINGS INTO PLACE WHEN YOU ACT WITH CONFIDENCE AND ALIGNMENT OPPORTUNITIES NATURALLY COME YOUR WAY SENECA ONCE SAID WE SUFFER MORE IN IMAGINATION THAN IN REALITY A LOT OF DESPERATION COMES FROM IMAGINED FEARS WHAT IF I DON'T SUCCEED WHAT IF
I FAIL BUT THE TRUTH IS YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK AND YOU DON'T NEED TO SCRAMBLE FOR WHAT'S MEANT FOR YOU ACT WITH PURPOSE MOVE WITH CONFIDENCE AND WATCH HOW LIFE STARTS TO ALIGN IN YOUR FAVOUR HAVE YOU EVER FELT EXHAUSTED FROM TRYING TO CONTROL EVERYTHING YOU PLAN YOU PUSH YOU STRATEGIZE BUT SOMEHOW LIFE STILL DOESN'T UNFOLD THE WAY YOU EXPECT IT'S FRUSTRATING ISN'T IT YOU TRY TO MAKE PEOPLE ACT A CERTAIN WAY FOR CIRCUMSTANCES INTO PLACE AND PREDICT EVERY POSSIBLE OUTCOME ONLY TO FIND YOURSELF FEELING MORE STRESSED AND LESS IN CONTROL THAN EVER
THE HARDER YOU GRIP THE MORE THINGS SLIP THROUGH YOUR FINGERS BUT HERE'S THE PARADOX THE MOMENT YOU LET GO LIFE STARTS TO WORK IN YOUR FAVOR THE STOICS UNDERSTOOD THIS DEEPLY EPICTETUS SAID FREEDOM IS THE ONLY WORTHY GOAL IN LIFE IT IS ONE BY DISREGARDING THINGS THAT LIE BEYOND OUR CONTROL THINK ABOUT THAT TRUE FREEDOM DOESN'T COME FROM CONTROLLING EVERYTHING AROUND YOU IT COMES FROM LETTING GO OF THE NEED TO CONTROL THE MORE ENERGY YOU SPEND TRYING TO MANAGE THINGS THAT AREN'T YOURS TO MANAGE OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS THE FUTURE THE PAST THE MORE YOU DRAIN
YOURSELF BUT WHEN YOU SHIFT YOUR FOCUS TO WHAT YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR THOUGHTS YOUR ACTIONS YOUR RESPONSES YOU RECLAIM YOUR POWER TAKE RELATIONSHIPS FOR EXAMPLE HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO CHANGE SOMEONE MAYBE YOU WANTED A FRIEND A PARTNER OR A FAMILY MEMBER TO BEHAVE DIFFERENTLY TO BE MORE UNDERSTANDING MORE SUPPORTIVE MORE ALIGNED WITH YOUR EXPECTATIONS BUT NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRIED THEY STAYED THE SAME THAT'S BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE NOT OURS TO CONTROL WE CAN COMMUNICATE WE CAN SET BOUNDARIES WE CAN CHOOSE WHO WE ALLOW IN OUR LIVES BUT WE CAN'T FORCE SOMEONE TO CHANGE
WHEN YOU RELEASE THAT NEED YOU FREE YOURSELF FROM FRUSTRATION AND ALLOW RELATIONSHIPS TO UNFOLD NATURALLY THE SAME APPLIES TO SUCCESS SO MANY PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT IF THEY JUST PUSH HARDER THEY'LL REACH THEIR GOALS FASTER BUT THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EFFORT AND CONTROL YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY WORK TOWARD YOUR GOALS BUT OBSESSING OVER EVERY TINY DETAIL STRESSING ABOUT TIMING AND FEARING FAILURE ONLY CREATES RESISTANCE SENECA ONCE SAID FATE LEADS THE WILLING AND DRAGS ALONG THE RELUCTANT IN OTHER WORDS WHEN YOU FIGHT AGAINST THE NATURAL FLOW OF LIFE YOU CREATE UNNECESSARY STRUGGLE BUT WHEN YOU TRUST THE PROCESS
AND FOCUS ON WHAT'S IN YOUR POWER THINGS UNFOLD WITH MUCH GREATER EASE IMAGINE YOU'RE PREPARING FOR AN IMPORTANT INTERVIEW YOU'VE DONE THE RESEARCH YOU'VE PRACTICED AND YOU'RE READY BUT INSTEAD OF TRUSTING IN YOUR PREPARATION YOU START OVERTHINKING WHAT IF THEY ASK ME A QUESTION I DON'T KNOW WHAT IF I MESS UP WHAT IF I DON'T GET THE JOB NOW YOUR ENERGY IS SHIFTING FROM CONFIDENCE TO ANXIETY YOU WALK INTO THE INTERVIEW NERVOUS TENSE AND SECOND GUESSING YOURSELF THAT NEED FOR CONTROL IS ACTUALLY MAKING YOU PERFORM WORSE BUT IF YOU TAKE A DEEP BREATH REMIND YOURSELF
THAT YOU'VE DONE THE WORK AND LET GO OF THE OUTCOME YOU WALK IN RELAXED PRESENT AND MUCH MORE LIKELY TO SUCCEED SO HOW DO YOU START LETTING GO OF CONTROL FIRST RECOGNIZE WHAT IS AND ISN'T WITHIN YOUR POWER THE STOICS BELIEVED IN THE DICHOTOMY OF CONTROL THERE ARE THINGS WE CAN INFLUENCE AND THINGS WE CAN'T WASTING ENERGY ON THE UNCONTROLLABLE ONLY LEADS TO FRUSTRATION SECOND PRACTICE ACCEPTANCE LIFE WON'T ALWAYS GO ACCORDING TO PLAN BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT'S GOING WRONG SOMETIMES DETOURS LEAD TO BETTER DESTINATIONS AND FINALLY BUILD TRUST NOT JUST IN LIFE BUT IN
YOURSELF TRUST THAT YOU CAN HANDLE WHATEVER COMES EVEN IF IT'S NOT WHAT YOU EXPECTED HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT SOME PEOPLE SEEM TO ATTRACT SUCCESS OPPORTUNITIES AND EVEN HAPPINESS EFFORTLESSLY IT'S NOT THAT THEY HAVE SOME SECRET ADVANTAGE IT'S THEIR MINDSET THE WAY THEY THINK THE WAY THEY CARRY THEMSELVES AND THE WAY THEY SEE THE WORLD CREATES A REALITY WHERE ABUNDANCE FLOWS TO THEM NATURALLY ON THE OTHER HAND PEOPLE WHO CONSTANTLY FOCUS ON WHAT THEY LACK SEEM TO STRUGGLE ENDLESSLY NO MATTER HOW HARD THEY WORK IT'S NOT ABOUT LUCK IT'S ABOUT THE ENERGY YOU BRING INTO
YOUR LIFE THE STOICS UNDERSTOOD THIS LONG BEFORE MODERN PSYCHOLOGY CONFIRMED IT EPICTETUS SAID WEALTH CONSISTS NOT IN HAVING GREAT POSSESSIONS BUT IN HAVING FEW WANTS TRUE ABUNDANCE ISN'T ABOUT HOARDING MONEY COLLECTING ACHIEVEMENTS OR ENDLESSLY CHASING MORE IT'S ABOUT REALIZING THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO LIVE A FULFILLED LIFE WHEN YOU STOP OPERATING FROM A MINDSET OF SCARCITY BELIEVING YOU NEVER HAVE ENOUGH YOU MAKE ROOM FOR MORE TO COME TO YOU NATURALLY IMAGINE TWO PEOPLE WALK INTO THE SAME ROOM ONE IS FOCUSED ON EVERYTHING THEY DON'T HAVE THEY COMPARE THEMSELVES TO OTHERS FEEL LIKE
THEY'RE FALLING BEHIND AND BELIEVE THAT SUCCESS IS ALWAYS OUT OF REACH THEIR ENERGY IS HEAVY THEIR WORDS ARE FILLED WITH DOUBT AND THEY UNKNOWINGLY REPEL OPPORTUNITIES THE SECOND PERSON WALKS IN WITH THE BELIEF THAT THEY HAVE ENOUGH ENOUGH KNOWLEDGE ENOUGH SKILLS ENOUGH OPPORTUNITIES AHEAD OF THEM THEY ENGAGE CONFIDENTLY BUILD CONNECTIONS NATURALLY AND END UP WALKING AWAY WITH NEW POSSIBILITIES THE ONLY DIFFERENCE ONE PERSON WAS LIVING IN SCARCITY THE OTHER IN ABUNDANCE AND IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT MONEY OR SUCCESS IT APPLIES TO RELATIONSHIPS HAPPINESS AND EVEN TIME IF YOU BELIEVE THERE'S NEVER ENOUGH NEVER ENOUGH LOVE
NEVER ENOUGH TIME NEVER ENOUGH GOOD PEOPLE IN THE WORLD THEN YOUR MIND WILL ALWAYS LOOK FOR PROOF OF THAT BELIEF BUT IF YOU SHIFT YOUR FOCUS YOU'LL START SEEING OPPORTUNITIES EVERYWHERE YOU'LL RECOGNISE THE KINDNESS IN OTHERS THE POSSIBILITIES IN EACH MOMENT AND THE BLESSINGS THAT ALREADY EXIST IN YOUR LIFE PSYCHOLOGIST WILLIAM JAMES ONCE SAID THE GREATEST DISCOVERY OF MY GENERATION IS THAT A HUMAN BEING CAN ALTER HIS LIFE BY ALTERING HIS ATTITUDES IF YOU CONSTANTLY FEEL LIKE YOU'RE MISSING SOMETHING YOUR BRAIN WILL FOCUS ON THAT LACK BUT IF YOU TRAIN YOUR MIND TO SEE ABUNDANCE
IF YOU PRACTICE GRATITUDE CONFIDENCE AND TRUST IN LIFE YOU START SHIFTING YOUR ENTIRE REALITY IT'S NOT MAGIC IT'S PERCEPTION WHAT YOU FOCUS ON GROWS THINK ABOUT A MUSICIAN WHO APPROACHES THEIR CAREER WITH A SCARCITY MINDSET THEY CONSTANTLY WORRY THAT THERE AREN'T ENOUGH OPPORTUNITIES THAT THE INDUSTRY IS TOO COMPETITIVE THAT THEY'LL NEVER MAKE IT EVERY REJECTION FEELS LIKE PROOF OF THEIR FEARS BECAUSE OF THIS THEY PLAY IT SAFE HESITATE TO TAKE RISKS AND MISS OUT ON POTENTIAL BREAKTHROUGHS NOW IMAGINE ANOTHER MUSICIAN WHO BELIEVES IN ABUNDANCE THEY SEE EVERY REJECTION AS REDIRECTION EVERY CHALLENGE AS AN OPPORTUNITY
TO IMPROVE THEY TAKE MORE RISKS CONNECT WITH MORE PEOPLE AND EVENTUALLY FIND SUCCESS NOT BECAUSE THEY WERE LUCKIER BUT BECAUSE THEY EMBODIED ABUNDANCE INSTEAD OF FEAR SO HOW DO YOU START EMBODYING ABUNDANCE IN YOUR OWN LIFE FIRST START WITH GRATITUDE INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON WHAT'S MISSING FOCUS ON WHAT'S ALREADY HERE WHEN YOU APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE YOU ATTRACT MORE OF IT SECOND ACT AS IF YOU ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH MOVE THROUGH LIFE WITH CONFIDENCE KNOWING THAT OPPORTUNITIES ARE EVERYWHERE AND FINALLY RELEASE ATTACHMENT TRUST THAT WHAT'S MEANT FOR YOU WILL COME NOT THROUGH FORCE BUT THROUGH ALIGNMENT
WITH YOUR ACTIONS AND BELIEFS HAVE YOU EVER CAUGHT YOURSELF OBSESSING OVER A GOAL PUSHING HARDER AND HARDER ONLY TO FEEL LIKE YOU'RE RUNNING IN CIRCLES YOU DO EVERYTHING RIGHT FOLLOW EVERY STEP AND YET THE RESULTS DON'T SHOW UP AS FAST AS YOU WANT THEM TO IT'S FRUSTRATING ISN'T IT WE'VE BEEN TAUGHT THAT SUCCESS IS ALL ABOUT EFFORT ABOUT NEVER STOPPING NEVER LETTING GO BUT HERE'S WHAT MOST PEOPLE DON'T REALIZE THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ALIGNED ACTION AND DESPERATE ACTION AND SOMETIMES THE REAL KEY TO PROGRESS IS KNOWING WHEN TO ACT AND WHEN TO STEP BACK THE
STOICS HAD A DEEP UNDERSTANDING OF THIS SENECA ONCE SAID EFFORT AND PATIENCE WILL ACHIEVE MORE THAN FORCE AND ANXIETY WE LIVE IN A CULTURE THAT GLORIFIES THE GRIND THE IDEA THAT IF YOU JUST WORK HARD ENOUGH THINGS HAVE TO GO YOUR WAY BUT REAL SUCCESS ISN'T ABOUT BLIND EFFORT IT'S ABOUT TAKING THE RIGHT STEPS STAYING OPEN TO OPPORTUNITY AND THEN ALLOWING LIFE TO UNFOLD THE PROBLEM WITH FORCING THINGS IS THAT IT CREATES RESISTANCE IT'S LIKE PULLING AT A KNOT THE HARDER YOU YANK THE TIGHTER IT BECOMES IMAGINE YOU'RE TRYING TO FALL ASLEEP YOU CAN'T FORCE
YOURSELF TO SLEEP RIGHT THE MORE YOU TRY TO SLEEP THE MORE RESTLESS YOU BECOME BUT THE MOMENT YOU RELAX LET GO AND TRUST THAT SLEEP WILL COME IT HAPPENS NATURALLY THE SAME IS TRUE FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS AND EVEN PERSONAL GROWTH YOU HAVE TO TAKE ACTION YES BUT YOU ALSO HAVE TO TRUST THE PROCESS THINK OF A FARMER PLANTING SEEDS THEY PREPARE THE SOIL PLANT THE SEEDS WATER THEM AND MAKE SURE THEY GET ENOUGH SUNLIGHT BUT AFTER THAT THEY DON'T DIG UP THE SEEDS EVERYDAY DEMANDING THAT THEY GROW FASTER THEY TRUST THAT IN TIME THE CROPS
WILL FLOURISH IF THEY TRIED TO RUSH THE PROCESS THEY'D ONLY DAMAGE WHAT THEY PLANTED LIFE WORKS THE SAME WAY YOU TAKE ACTION YOU DO YOUR PART BUT THEN YOU HAVE TO TRUST THAT THINGS WILL DEVELOP AT THEIR OWN PACE THIS APPLIES TO EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE TAKE RELATIONSHIPS FOR EXAMPLE HAVE YOU EVER MET SOMEONE WHO TRIED TOO HARD MAYBE THEY WERE OVERLY EAGER TEXTING TOO MUCH ALWAYS NEEDING REASSURANCE THEIR ENERGY FELT HEAVY ALMOST DESPERATE BUT THEN THERE'S THE PERSON WHO IS CALM CONFIDENT WHO SHOWS INTEREST BUT ALSO GIVES SPACE THEY NATURALLY ATTRACT OTHERS BECAUSE THEY
AREN'T FORCING ANYTHING THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU TAKE ALIGNED ACTION AND LET GO YOU CREATE SPACE FOR THINGS TO FLOW INSTEAD OF SUFFOCATING THEM OR THINK ABOUT YOUR CAREER MAYBE YOU'VE BEEN HUSTLING TRYING TO FORCE EVERY OPPORTUNITY BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO BE MOVING FORWARD NOW WHAT IF INSTEAD OF PANICKING YOU TRUSTED THAT YOUR WORK WAS ENOUGH WHAT IF YOU FOCUSED ON BEING EXCELLENT AT WHAT YOU DO BUILDING MEANINGFUL CONNECTIONS AND ALLOWING THE RIGHT DOORS TO OPEN WHEN THEY'RE MEANT TO THIS DOESN'T MEAN YOU SIT BACK AND DO NOTHING IT MEANS YOU STOP TRYING TO CONTROL
EVERY OUTCOME YOU TAKE SMART PURPOSEFUL ACTION AND THEN TRUST THAT WHAT'S MEANT FOR YOU WILL COME MARCUS AURELIUS IN MEDITATIONS WROTE DO WHAT YOU MUST AND LET WHAT HAPPENS HAPPEN THIS IS THE ESSENCE OF ALIGNED ACTION YOU FOCUS ON WHAT'S IN YOUR CONTROL YOUR EFFORTS YOUR DISCIPLINE YOUR MINDSET BUT YOU DON'T OBSESS OVER THE RESULTS BECAUSE THE TRUTH IS NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU PLAN NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU PUSH THERE WILL ALWAYS BE THINGS OUTSIDE YOUR CONTROL AND THE MORE YOU RESIST THAT TRUTH THE MORE STRESSED AND FRUSTRATED YOU BECOME SO HOW DO YOU
ACTUALLY PRACTICE THIS IN YOUR DAILY LIFE FIRST GET CLEAR ON YOUR GOAL AND TAKE THE NECESSARY STEPS PREPARE TRAIN LEARN DO YOUR PART SECOND LET GO OF THE NEED TO CONTROL WHEN AND HOW THE RESULTS SHOW UP ACCEPT THE TIMING ISN'T ALWAYS UP TO YOU AND THIRD TRUST IN YOUR OWN RESILIENCE EVEN IF THINGS DON'T GO EXACTLY AS YOU PLANNED YOU'LL ADAPT YOU'LL GROW AND YOU'LL FIND NEW OPPORTUNITIES ALONG THE WAY AT THE END OF THE DAY LIFE ISN'T ABOUT CONTROLLING EVERY OUTCOME IT'S ABOUT MASTERING YOURSELF THE MOMENT YOU SHIFT YOUR FOCUS FROM CHASING TO
ALIGNING FROM FORCING TO FLOWING EVERYTHING STARTS TO FALL INTO PLACE THE STOICS KNEW THIS TRUTH CENTURIES AGO AND NOW IT'S YOURS TO APPLY SO TAKE A DEEP BREATH TRUST THE PROCESS AND REMEMBER REAL POWER COMES FROM WITHIN IF THIS VIDEO RESONATED WITH YOU THERE'S ANOTHER ONE ON THE SCREEN RIGHT NOW THAT WILL TAKE YOU EVEN DEEPER INTO STOIC WISDOM CLICK ON IT AND KEEP LEARNING AND IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY HIT SUBSCRIBE SO YOU NEVER MISS A NEW INSIGHT THANKS FOR BEING A PART OF STOIC JOURNAL I'LL SEE YOU IN THE NEXT ONE THIS IS EXACTLY
WHAT THE STOICS TAUGHT
