If you've ever felt like that I want to stay detached, detached, only be detached from everyone and I shouldn't care about what's happening and what's not because when I cared before it has hurt me a lot I've suffered a lot But now I want to practise the art of detachment. So give me just a little bit of your time, Watch this video till the end I won't take much time But I promise you after watching this video your whole idea of detachment will change. The video journal you're watching its entire foundation is based on detachment .
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. . A few years ago when I came across this word 'detachment' on the internet through some video I used to think, "Damn!
Detachment! " Oh my God! away from this world that person must be so hurt to make a video on detachment or they must've been through sad times Must be such a bitter person!
detachment as a word is so negative like, its. . Oh My God!
It's very like I want to stay away from this person but then cut to a couple of years down the line When you experience such things and you realize that . . okay?
That is not what detachment meant. Maybe my attachment was wrong in the first place. My attachment to the things where I shouldn't have been attached this is why my outcomes were hurting me if I shift it(attachment) away and become detached get attached at the right places Then life becomes beautiful.
I think the most valuable lesson that I've learned in these two years has been detachment earlier I used to be attached to the outcomes Like I'd get impatient and expect things soon what can I get out of this thing? if I do this, what do I get? if I do that, what would I get?
very often it would happen that everything has a 50/50 this could be possible or that could be possible so we have to be ready for both the possiblities but when things don't go our way then we feel Shit! Why didn't it happen? I did this and that And still things did not work out.
According to me, etcetera, etcetera and I won't do anything for anyone ever! I won't do things for people I will be a sigma male. Or I will be a Sigma Female and I don't care That is how detached I will be.
For example, how guys say on dating apps I got, um, hurt in my first relationship, which was in second standard. And so I have never been in a relationship after that. I don't think I can do a relationship.
we've heard more such stories um uh for example is, I put in so much of effort for this guy/girl But in the end, uh, that person did not like me I've always got heartbreaks I've always been cheated on I won't do anything for anyone ever but tell me, one thing that person for who you took efforts for who took efforts for someone irrespective results of that effort irrespective results it was fruitful or not - is not the point. . .
. . The point is tumble effort, you took those efforts because that is who you were and you wanted to express it you're happy to express who you are!
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. And so when you did that you were happy. But then your attachment was on the outcome if I do this and its outcome is what I expected only that would make me happy or because I am taking efforts and its outcome is this, only then I'd be happy or else these efforts are wrong Like the formula is supposed to be if I take efforts it should give me XYZ results for sure But the thing is outcome is never in anyone's hands so you're just betting on it you're taking a risk 50/50 chance there's always a gamble okay this time its according to me or it won't work according to me, simple.
and the more you're attached to that gamble your entire core is so invested in that the answer of this thing should be according to me the 50/50 probability there is so big! It should be like I want it to be and if that doesn't happen means I'm going to be shattered I'm done! But what if?
we redefine all of it and we remove we detach ourselves from the outcome and we attach ourselves to our why and to the work that we're doing to the process It just makes a world of a difference. Very easy example. I think to, uh make you understand this is if you're dating somebody or if you're just meeting them for the first time second time third time you're feeling like I want to do something nice for this person because I feel like it and I feel it's too soon.
But I have a feeling that I want to do it because it displays who I am. But at the same time, my demeanour is such that I'm OK with the outcome. Even if that person likes it or doesn't like it, it's fine.
I'm OK because this is who I am as an individual. If I like somebody, I would like to put in some effort because that brings more meaning into seeing that person rather than doing it very halfheartedly and expecting some outcome and then just whatever, even if it doesn't bring me an outcome yet you'll establish yourself as that person with that character and that value. that yes I can do things without the concern of that person liking me back or not liking me back because this is who I am.
And once you have this sort of detachment from the outcome and you have complete and complete attachment to your own actions to your own thoughts, to your words and to everything that is coming out from you, then it sort of displays into every aspect of your life. Your work? You will give your 100% to your work.
You will put your heart and soul and put as much meaning and as much life into crafting or into doing whatever that you do on a daily basis, irrespective of the outcome. Because the outcome is not in your hands, the outcome will happen. when it has to happen, but you're removing yourself from that.
And then that brings you more joy. And that brings you more happiness into doing the same thing again. The point is you can't remove yourself from it completely like, now I won't date ever!
I won't date any guy or Uh, I won't talk to any guy ever we all know how that sounds. This person is so hurt and they're so weak, they sound so weak to not take another risk on another person like just once my heart broke so its all over now even if I get an angel I will not take a risk because, you know, uh, I can't. That just sounds weak.
That just sounds like OK, this is all this person had they don't. . They're not willing to get back up again and put in the work and be like, No, this is me as a man or as a woman, and I like to show my love, or I like to show how I care for different aspects of my life this way, irrespective of the outcome.
And that is when that character aura of a person character of a person that when they enter the room it shows because that detachment is not because they're aloof and they're sigma and all that was a fake drama. That detachment is because they're detached from the outcome. Say For example, if they're walking in a room and you don't like them, they don't care.
They'll still smile at you. Like if I walk into a room and you don't like me back and I happen to make eye contact with you I'll still smile at you. You don't smile back at me.
That's you. I do not expect you to smile back at me either. I smile because that's who I am.
And that shows and that travels Your word of mouth, you know, it travels like this only this is how people talk That person is so nice. They are so compassionate. They did this without telling us or they did that or they did this.
etc And that sort of detachment makes you more involved in a group setting. Makes you more liked, makes you more compassionate. Makes you more loved.
when the attachment was 100% on the outcome I was always sad and I would keep thinking about what would happen? Will this guy like me or not? You know that anxious attachment style right?
Now, if I want to message a person, if I want to talk to a person, I will just straight up call if they don't answer. Great. OK, Cool it doesn't make me smaller it doesn't uh, make me any less It didn't make me sigma, alpha, delta, beta or gamma.
I just wanted to talk to that person because I have some values or I have courage You know? So I was like, Yeah, okay I will take this shot and I will Call. Answered?
Great. Nice. Didn't answer?
Also great. Nice. Expected!
Right? Both the outcomes are expected, but I won't wait for them and I won't wait or I won't get into all that When you take the focus away from your outcome's expectation you shifted that focus towards your actions you started focusing on the process and the efforts you put in that process and give it your best put your life into it put your heart into it to make it better to improve it work on it constant constantly, not just once Constantly, work on that process daily how much you can give it the more invested you're in your art put your life into it that much You will come closer to who you are and that will become your personality. you know those Uh, there were some people when I was a kid I'd see them and think they're always happy they're always laughing they're always inviting You know, They give a sense that you can talk to them They come across as very approachable and they don't expect anything they don't wany anything from you they just they just exist that's just who they are they like talking about good things they like socializing with other people they like giving they like gifting they'll always get something or else uh you know, when you go to their place you'll give them something or whatever it is you know, there are so many people who don't want anything from you they like giving and that's who they are.
Nothing is going from them even if you don't accept it if a person denies taking it for whatever reason they didn't become smaller or they didn't change or they didn't say - Oh! Now I won't do this Because that's who they are. They never cared if you will think of me like this, or if you'll think about how noble they are!
If I gave something to someone I'm such a nice person so whatever you whatever beliefs you hold about me I'll work according to that or whatever you think about me that's why I'm pretending to be good They're not doing anything for you. They're doing it because that's who they are. They enjoy giving.
They enjoy the work. They enjoy being with people. So I wish I had a like a story like a proper that this happened with me I am still practicing it.
Its such a concept which you don't realize immediately and you won't remember it always You have to remind yourself and someone told me few days ago you repeat a lot in your videos, but the point is, the magic happens with repetition. The magic literally happens with repetition. Saying it or doing it just once or just thinking about it once nothing happens Thinking just once isn't enough to change a belief Just saying it once won't leave an impact and doing that action just once isn't enough for change.
It's with the repetition in your thoughts in your words and in your action that transforms and that creates a state of being into what you are trying to be. It's in that repetition that changes happen it doesn't happen in just one time And I have this repetition habit because I feel like until I go deeply to explain a concept till then um you know, I don't feel good about it. Something very similar happened to me two years ago.
I was talking to someone for about two months. It was a long distance. So we didn't get a lot of time together to call or whatever, because it was long distance and whatnot.
So I decided uh you know, whatever little time that we get, uh, where we can communicate because, uh, that person is busy with their work. I'm busy with my work. So whatever little time that you get to communicate or to get to know this person Uh, why not?
Why don't I take an initiative? OK, so I initiated that. Why not?
We have dinner together over video call every night so that one hour we get cos I sleep early timings are not matching and all that. Why not in that one hour? Why not?
We have dinner together, so it becomes more meaningful. You know, one person taking that effort brings that other person also into okay fine. That that sounds nice.
Let's have dinner together. So had he turned down this offer I would have still been ok. I would have still been like Ok fine It doesn't I mean, I just wanted to put across something like that.
I felt like it would be nice and, things didn't work out because a long distance and, timings were not matching and a lot of other issues, but but in the end, both of us were together trying to make it work till the time it couldn't. And that's all it was, right? No one had hard feelings and no one thought Oh, why this?
Oh, I will not do anything like that. I don't want to do it at all I won't ask anyone else to do this for me. No.
I will still show up as who I am. as this person who likes to give without the outcome of expecting what the guy is giving me I don't want anything I am happy giving because that is in my hands that is in my nature I want to give I want to keep giving as much as I can give without being in a place of uncertainity just hanging there if I get something from here, fine and if I don't get it, I'm ruined Imagine what a difficult life that is! And how amazing this life is?
Where you're detached from the outcome and attached to your process of your Why Why do you want to do it? And this is where all your values again come into play. Who are you as a person?
What are your values? What's your core as an individual? Who are you and why would you like to do something for whoever or whatever?
You know your work. Why would you like to do some things? And who would you like to show up as and then you stick to that detaching yourself from the outcome.
That is what I have learned about detachment Life is so short Um, We're not taking anything from here I don't know the purpose of this I don't know the answer to why we exist? but till we are here Nothing is constant here Nothing belongs to you. Not even your relationships.
Not your parents, not your siblings. Not your work. Nothing.
Everything will be taken away from you when you die. Like literally You're leaving everything behind So everything's going till the time we are here till then, why not express who you are? Happily?
Why not find that meaning into doing everything that you're doing and make it happy for yourself without caring what people think about it becoming that happy person in the room where everyone wants to talk to you everyone wants to come to you Uh, you know, they want to say Hey, hi How's it going? you want to have that aura not That person I don't go to events I don't do anything that sort of detachment nobody cares about you you live like that, in your hut in some forest or jungle go live in isolation, who cares? People may follow up for 10-15 days about you but beyond that, no one cares its simple so stay detached keep being this type of detached your aura will give off bitter person energy its kinda cowardly actually I did it before and I'll never do it after that's so weak!
A sign of weakness Its a cowardly act But real strength - isn't still doing it doing it multiple times 100 times, 500 times, Even if the outcome is not going as for you know, uh, what you expect, but you know you want to do it. You know that this is what my heart tells me to do. And I will do it with a smile because it's not about the outcome.
It is about who I am, and I want to live free. This is freedom. When you lose the outcome, you are free.
You are you, you get to be you. So this is what today's video is about. To stay detached from your expectation of the outcome of what you're doing, Do the work with all your heart.
Be that person, be that person. Repeat and remind yourself to be this person and to have the courage to get back. Even if things, when they're not going according to you, get back up because this is who you are.
You enjoy doing it. Not for the other person, but for you. .
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