This is going to be a tough video to shoot But. . .
I'm gonna make it Because. . .
it has to exist! The other day I was talking to this amazing lady on Facebook. We started talking about our experiences concerning some previous abusive relationships of ours.
Then we almost online hugged each other because. . .
And then I decided to post a video on abusive relationships because they happen very often but you usually don't know you're on an abusive relationship. Part of you reckons it but you kind of don't at the same time. So to complement this video a little further I went on this awesome Facebook group I participate in so to ask people who had been on abusive relationships to tell their stories.
So after a nonstop three yours weeping that followed my reading of those stories I tell you now a little about abusive relationships. Can we try doing it with a good sense of humor, ok? YEAH First thing There aren't only abusive relationships between a man and a woman so that the man is a dick, the woman is a poor thing.
It could also be the opposite. Or it could be between two women or between two men. I talk about relationships between a man and a woman but you can add any gender you want, ok?
over the pronouns I'm gonna be using Is that alright? Ok then! But JoutJout, how do I know if I'm on an abusive relationship?
You don't. Perhaps you do, but you've chosen not to. So, be aware of the signs.
. . .
And what are those signs? Let's try to answer some questions right now. Come here, come here.
Is this person not letting you go out with your friends? Or is he putting you up against your friends or family? ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Has he ever told you take the lipstick off because "you looked a whore with that red lipstick on"?
Has he ever flicked a napkin on your face "take off that lipstick"? ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Has he ever LONG DISTANCE controlled the outfit you wear, or the place where you're wearing it? ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Has this person ever asked you to unfriend people on Facebook or on Orkut back on the good days?
ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Or has this person ever prevented you from talking in real life to certain people? ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Whenever you fight, in some weird unexplained way are you always wrong? And you always end up saying you're sorry even when at first you were surely right but then something happens, something he says then you go like "man I think I was the wrong one, wasn't I?
" And then you look back and you're like "Man, in all of the fights we ever had, I was the wrong one" ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Emotional blackmailing. . .
That's always a good call! "I'm thinking about breaking up with you" "You do it, I'll kill myself" he says, and then you're like "Yeah I won't do it I don't want him to kill himself, I won't break up with him" ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Does he sometimes make you feel like dumb, ugly, stupid, diminished towards him? So he makes you think it's a blessing his being beside you because no one deserves someone like you, but he can take it, so you have to chill out because if you lose that one you'll never get anyone else.
ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Is he embarrassed to kiss you out in public, or to be with you out in public at any situation? Not wanting to show affection out in public is one thing, we get it! Being embarrassed of you out in public, is a whole different thing.
ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Does he fuck up big time, and then you're like, "you fucked up big time" and then he cries, profoundly regreted and he swears that it will never happen again and says he was stupid and he begs for your forgiveness ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP He once wanted to have sex and you didn't want it and he threatened to leave, to break up with you? ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP When you conquer something amazing, the guy is sad because you conquered it and he didn't and then you stop feeling happy for yourself and then you feel sad and guilty because you were better than him at any point? ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP And then, it comes the time, after the guy totally ridiculed you breaks up with you and then you're like "Oh no we broke up because of me, I did everything wrong I didn't deserve his love, which was huge" A way of knowing if you're going through all of this: Before you were with him you were a happy person, after being with him for a while you're withered, like a raisin and you're crying for any reason and people are going "Hey, this guy's not being good for you" And you're like "Of course he is, he is super.
. . he.
. . he helps me with a lot of stuff, he.
. . " Do you get it?
The relationship is built in such a way that he makes you think that he's the only one in the world who can ever love you and treat you well Even if he doesn't treat you well And you're never gonna find anyone that likes you, because you're weird, you're dirty, you're a whore But he, accepts you for who you are So, if you break up with him, you're doomed to a lonely life because no one will never want you And then, you just kinda stay there trapped in that endless manipulation web thinking that you have to be there because it's your last salvation, because without that relationship you're gonna be alone forever. . .
That's not true That is not true, not even for a second He puts you in such a crazy bubble where anything that's not him, is bad, that you start believing it and then you start not being able to interact with anyone and your emotional part depends only on him "You can't be happy by yourself, you can only be happy with him" How can it be such thing? What if he dies, happiness is over? You can't be happy anymore, no more being happy, that's over If a guy thinks that for you to be fine you need him, We started off wrong If the guy has the need to diminish you for that he can be great and amazing next to you, maybe it's not a great relationship for you to be in Sometimes you can tell something's off and then you're like "I think I'm gonna leave this dating thing" but then you're like "Damn but we have such a beautiful story why waste it?
" "Oh but I'm gonna throw away years worth of relationship for such a silly thing" "Who has never been slapped in the face? " "I don't want to break up with him and be alone" is also not a good reason for not breaking up You don't need to be with anyone for you to be a happy and complete person you can be just by yourself We keep listening to these brazilian songs that say that it's impossible to be happy alone It's not impossible to be happy alone by the way you can only be happy with someone after you can be happy by yoursef Wooooo I nailed it One more thing, an abusive relationship doesn't equate to a slap in the face you can be psychologically abused or sexually abused because rape is not only when it's a weird guy in the street that comes and sticks his dick in you rape can happen inside your house with your boyfriend So please, if you know anyone that's in an abusive relationship, let them know Because that person doesn't know it or that person is in denial because that's usually how we get when we're going through bad stuff because we keep thinking we deserve that suffering Because we are dirty, dumb, stupid and whores who deserve to suffer in order to learn how to appreciate a real man So, let her know that's not true, that she doesn't need any of it Ok? Let's get out of this if you need any help, we're here Oh and you, thinking you're super hot, super powerful because you're controlling someone Right?
Amazing women who helped me build this video, you're my queens.
