I am Mary I'm 40 years old I have two children my husband John is 45 years old we have been married for 18 years when we got married I was happy John was kind he smiled every day he said I love you I believed him I wanted to build a good life with him we had our first child after 2 years it was a boy his name is Adam he is smart and funny two years later we had a girl her name is Lily she is kind and loves to sing at first John was a
good husband he worked hard he brought home money I stayed home to care for the children I cooked cleaned and helped them learn but after some years John changed he worked late he went on trips he didn't tell me where he went he stopped saying I love you I asked him why are you so busy he said I work for this family don't ask me questions I was sad but I stayed quiet I loved him I hoped he would change one day 7 years ago John went on a trip I found two plane tickets I
saw another woman's name my heart broke I cried for 3 days I felt lost and alone when John came back I asked him who is she he said she is nobody don't worry I didn't believe him but I said okay I wanted to keep my family together my son was only 3 years old I didn't want to break his heart over the years johon stayed the same he worked late he went on trips I knew he still saw the other woman my heart grew cold I felt empty I cleaned the house but it didn't feel
like a home I cooked meals but I had no joy I looked at John but he was like a stranger one day I met someone from my past his name was Alex we were friends long long ago he was kind and gentle I saw him with his wife he opened the car door for her he helped her with her coat I thought this is care this is love I never had this Alex and I started to talk he asked me how are you I said I am fine but I wasn't fine he listened to me
he said you are important you are strong I started to feel alive again I smiled I laughed for 3 months we talked we didn't need much I didn't want gifts or big promises I only wanted care I wanted to feel loved but JN found out he was angry he shouted why did you do this I said because I needed love we had long talks John cried he said I love you please don't leave I asked him why now why after 18 years he said I didn't know you were hurting one night I got very sick
I went to the hospital John stayed with me he held my hand he said don't leave me I love you for the second time in 18 years I heard those words I love you now John is at home he sleeps next to me but I know the other woman is still waiting for him I don't know what will happen my heart is tired I want to believe John but it is hard I try to smile for my children I try to be strong I know I am not perfect I made mistakes but I only wanted
to feel loved I don't know what the future holds I only hope for peace after everything that happened I began to think deeply about my life I spent many nights awake staring at the ceiling my mind was full of questions should I stay should I leave what is best for my children what is best for me John joh tried to be better he stayed home more often he helped with small things like taking out the trash or washing the dishes he asked do you need help these were small changes but I noticed them still my
heart was not the same I felt like I was living with a stranger when I looked at John I didn't see the man I married I saw a man who broke my trust one evening I sat with my children Adam and Lily we were eating dinner they were laughing and telling stories about school I looked at them and thought they are so happy they don't know the pain in my heart after dinner I asked Adam do you think Daddy and I are happy Adam looked surprised he said I don't know Mom you are always kind
to each other but sometimes I feel like you are sad Lily who was younger said Mom I just want us to stay together I don't want anything to change their words made me cry I didn't want to hurt them but I also knew I couldn't pretend forever one day I decided to visit Alex we hadn't talked since John found out about us I needed to say goodbye when I saw Alex he smiled at me he asked how are you I said I am trying to fix my life Alex nodded he said you are strong Mary
I know you will find your way I thanked him I told him you gave me something I will never forget you reminded me that I am important then I walked away I knew it was the last time I would see him I decided to talk to John I said we need to be honest with each other do you want this marriage to work John looked at me he said yes I want us to stay together I made mistakes but I love you I asked him can you leave the other woman can you give me the
love and care I need he said I will try I told him trying is not enough I need you to mean it JN started to spend more time with me we went for walks together we talked about small things like the weather and the children slowly I began to see a little hope but my heart was still unsure forgiving John was the hardest thing I ever did I thought about all the pain he caused me I remembered the nights I cried alone I remembered the plane ticket with Lisa's name on it but I also thought
about my own mistakes I thought about Alex and the time I spent with him one day I looked in the mirror and said to myself Mary you are not perfect you made mistakes too if you want peace you need to forgive now I take life one day at a time John and I are still together but things are not perfect he says he loves me but I still feel a little doubt I focus on my children I want them to grow up in a happy home I try to smile for them even when my heart
feels heavy I also focus on myself I started reading books and going for walks alone I learned to love myself again one day I wrote a letter to myself it said dear Mary you are strong you are kind you are important life is hard but you can handle it remember love yourself first then you can love others you deserve happiness don't forget that I keep this letter in my drawer when I feel sad I read it it reminds me that I am not alone this journey taught me many things I learned that love is not
just words love is action love is care and respect I also learned that people make mistakes nobody is perfect most importantly I learned that I am strong I can survive pain sadness and loss and I can still find happiness one day at a time thank you for watching if you enjoyed this story please give it a thumbs up and share it with your friends don't forget to subscribe to our channel for more English stories and lessons hit the Bell icon to get notified when we post new videos your support means a lot to us see
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