Control That Temper

good morning Dwayne here Dry Creek Ranger school it is a cold morning out here this morning um there was ice on on the water when I went out to feed and it's a damp because we've been having rain last couple days and there's a slight breeze bro blowing and it's just chilly and Mama's not here to video she's in Texas uh my uh our fifth grandchild was born yesterday morning about three o'clock uh so welcome to the world Beaumont that's his name Beaumont they named him and I'm gonna call him Bo he's got a little

bitty mama and that Rascal came out seven pound 12 ounces uh so uh he's probably gonna be a bulldogger we'll see if we see if we can't get him into the family business here and cowboying and carrying on but uh I'm real tickled real happy um about that he's doing well mama's doing well I'll probably pull out of here Wednesday morning early and drive to Texas and spend a couple days hugging on the grandbaby and then bringing Mama back home excuse me um if you were to ask me Dwayne over the years what is what

has been your biggest handicap in training horses what's been your biggest detriment the biggest thing that's been in your way well the biggest thing that's been in my way the thing that caused me the most trouble uh training horses over the years my biggest handicap is the same thing that's been my biggest handicap in every other area of my life and that's been my temper and I know you just can't see it you can't imagine it can you um but it is uh and has been has been for years it's much better than it was

uh but it was it was always really bad uh and I've recently got a fairly decent handle on it last couple years and uh it's a subject that's come up here in the comments on the channel not my temper um but uh some of you your temper and as young men just very angry at life angry at circumstances just angry all the time and and how do we how do we get a hold of that temper how do we control that what what causes it well I'm not foolish enough to think that all anger comes

from the same place and that all of us who struggle with a temper uh have the same reasons but I can give you my experience and what has helped me and what I discovered about myself along the way and what has helped me then you can decide if it's applicable to you and if it helps you um first the thing that we overlook a lot that I figured out and that helped me tremendously is diet um when my back when I had a lot of trouble with blood pressure when I didn't have it controlled by

diet so much my wife could always tell when my blood pressure was getting really high because I was real Snappy real short and and I didn't want to be that way it wasn't on purpose I saw it and I knew it and I tried to control it but it was like there was a a volcano inside of me that I didn't have control over I was at work one day in Alaska working in a feed store over the winter uh uh in between riding jobs and one day I was just I would just totally I

was uh I was looking for a clock tower with a sniper rifle I was just furious at the world everything and it was all I could do to just get through and maintain and it got to the point where I said you know what this is not normal this is I think I've told you guys this before I said this is not I can't live like this something is not right and so across the street get that mustache hair out there across the street there was a a pharmacy and so I went and told my

boss I said I'm gonna go across the street to the pharmacy and have them check my blood pressure I hadn't had it checked before um I don't know why that came to mind as a possibility but I went across and checked and it at that time that day it was like 2 30 over 190. and uh young man that I went to church with at the time he was a pharmacist that worked there and he said you go to the hospital right now um and that began my journey of understanding the whole blood pressure thing

but my wife who studies up on all the health stuff and everything she was talking with somebody the other day and she told me that they they've discovered that your gut health has a lot to do with your your mental health and it really does affect your temper but if you um if you have high blood pressure if you're on a high sugar diet if you're on uh just not a good solid balanced diet that does have an effect internally it's like we t I talk about with these horses you know and it's kind of

the same thing we feed these horses as sweet feed and we feel them we feed them with a really high protein and we pump a bunch of alfalfa to them and leave them in a stall and they just get so jacked up the horses want to get along they want to get along but they've got physical um things with all the sugar and all this lack of exercise and everything going on that is their bodies taking over their mind and you say man my horse is mean my horse is stupid no your horse is just

about to explode inside um because of his diet and lack of exercise and that brings me to the second one um if you'll start controlling your diet and then secondly if you'll start exercising um I was going to a gym in Alaska when I was doing rehab from my from my neck and uh it was a oh it was one of them soccer mom gems that's the only one I knew in town that's when my therapists had me in and when my therapy is over I just kept going but it was like mostly made up

of treadmills and and all this stuff and they had two squat racks all I did was free weights and they had two squat racks but every time I wanted to go over there and use the clock racks there was some girl dressed in whatever uh stand there taking selfies or there were two or three of them standing there taking selfies and uh and I wasn't going to be the bearded dirty old man that went over looking like he was latching around these girls so I never I wouldn't go over there and uh so I uh

I couldn't use I couldn't use the gym the the weights that I wanted so I started looking around and I found another gym across town called The Iron Asylum and that gem was owned by a fella out of the military uh who was a power lifter and it was geared towards policemen firefighters and Military and it was um what some what some folks today would call toxically masculine and I called it beautiful it was wonderful this but what I'm saying what I want to bring out I talked to the owner of the gym uh and

he told me that he had been through some really hard stuff in over in the sandbox in the military and he told me how many of his fellow soldiers and how many of the fellows that he served with had committed suicide in the name of that gym was Iron Asylum and that was his Asylum he said this this is my therapist he said this this is what keeps me um alive and on the earth and physical exercise can burn away so much mental and emotional baggage um and we're just we're not healthy and if you

and you don't have to go to a gym uh riding Hort man I come out here some days I'm like it's just things starting to Gin up a little bit and I'll go inside a little horse and I'll saddle the horse and I'll go ride uh that's exercise um biking getting a mountain bike and or or hiking I mean bigger stuff where you sweat and you come back sore and hurting and tired and exhausted but your mind is clear and I know there's chemical stuff going on in there and I don't know what it is

uh but it helped a lot it helps a lot the other thing is the value you place on something has a lot to do with it now let me illustrate it like this if I was over visiting your house and you had a 1972 Murray riding lawnmower all right and that you picked up at a garage sale for 75 dollars and I go out in the backyard and I get on your lawnmower and I get to goofing around and get stupid out there and carry on and I want to running that thing into a tree

now you're probably not going to get too angry you're going to shake your head and gonna gonna ride me for being an old fool or whatever but if you've got a 2022 um Ford F-350 King Ranch and I get in that truck and I go tool around in your backyard and getting stupid and goofing off and smash that thing into a tree now you're going to get mad what is the difference the difference is the value that you place on either one of those some of us some of us place too much value on ourselves

and that's just the fact of it when I was a kid they used to say man if I could buy you for what you're worth and sell you for what you think you're worth I make a fortune um and and that's true and it's sad because there's a lot of folks out there today who are going through a real hard time because they don't value themselves at all um they don't see any value in themselves but then there's others on the other side that we just think we're all that and because we put so much

value on ourselves and we think that we are so special uh when somebody does something that we take as they do it to us they do it against us we get furious and the root of that is because we value ourselves so much um and sometimes we just need to sit down and take stock and get the reality of things and reality is you know we really ain't all that and uh and it's just not that important and we we need to we need to adjust our inventory we need to sit down and take stock

of what is important and one is not important now I made a comment in a past video um about if someone if we were walking down the street and someone were to verbally accost my wife it would become a verbal and then it would become a physical incident now some of you folks took that uh sideways you didn't like that and you think that ain't Christian and that ain't right I don't care all right uh my wife is the thing that I value most Deanna Noel mama is not just the person but the thing that

I value most in this world and I value her so much her value is so high to me that if someone goes against that I will get extremely extremely angry now if you don't hold with that that's okay uh you you do what you think you need to do in your life but I'm just illustrating the fact that sometimes what do we got oh I just heard a sound out there and that's Mouse kicking on his green bucket saying Hey I want some more um but it's how we value things we value ourselves too much

um and we value the opinion of others too much um I and that is something that I've had to I've had to struggle with too so you say Dwayne in your case bringing it down to where you are now what did you do well number one I changed my diet um and that helped and that helped tremendously number two I got more active and uh and that helps that helps tremendously number three I went through a point uh where I had to reevaluate my own personal value to this world and I decided maybe I need

to back up I was protecting something violently that wasn't really worth protecting that much I'm gonna have to get onto that horse I have to pull that out of his pen there he's uh he's getting a little snotty about his green these days and uh and then I had to look at the value of others and determine whether their opinion uh was really worth all that and uh and you know as I go along and I see people and I see their troubles and I realize their troubles are much greater than my troubles and it

just shifts your focus for a while you can't you can't life parts of life in a way is a battle and that you can't win a battle if you can't stay calm in the face of in the face of battle all right you can't teach a horse you can't overcome a difficulty with a horse if you can't stay calm if you can't stay logical and reasonable and and understanding you cannot you cannot have a successful conversation with your spouse whether they're angry or not if you cannot remain calm and logical and reasonable and uh you

can't you cannot raise your children you cannot raise your children properly and right if you cannot remain calm and in control all right you you can't you can't succeed in business and you're going to tear your guts out internally I mean you're just stressed kills and uh and it's not something that you're gonna flip a switch and say okay I got this listen I'm I'm Scotch Irish descent my dad had a temper my granddad had a bad temper my great-granddad had an even worse temper all right and genetics play a part I suppose but we

don't have to let genetics take control uh we can control the things that we can control and we can step back and adjust how we perceive and how we approach and how we react to things that we cannot control and like everything else in life to Journey you know I'm gonna flip a switch today and all of a sudden you're uh you know your your Yoda uh you're you're just calm and and everything's all right but you can be a little bit better today than you were yesterday and you can start making changes today of

things that you did yesterday and uh and then you can begin the journey and hopefully at the end of the road you can uh you cannot be where you started out at the beginning of the road okay and and guys gals uh it's worth it I'm I'm telling you I'm living experience it's worth it to go through the effort that it takes uh to make these changes my wife still we'll be out here working horses so my one of the students to bring outside horse and uh and they'll they'll get they'll uh they'll show their

true colors and we'll go through the process and deal with it and even after all summer out here I come in the other day after working with one and he went he went kind of off and uh and I we dealt with it we handled it we took care of it and I come in and and Deanna said I I just I can't even I don't have the words I can't conceive I cannot imagine you handling that like that even just three years ago um so if you start working on it in six months you

may not be at the end but in six months you'll be further down the road and you'll be a little bit calmer a little bit better uh maybe a little bit wiser than you were six months ago and uh it's I tell folks when they come in here and we start working horses and we introduce them to something new like riding opening Gates on horseback and the horse hadn't done that before and they come up there and they try to ride them up to the gate and the horses no no no and then they actually

get the horse up close enough to the gate and they reach out to get a hold the gate to open the gate the horses that gate coming towards them and man they squirt out from under there and they're like no no no and I tell them look that's too big an elephant for that horse to eat there's too big an elephant for that horse to eat so just feed him a bite ride down to the end of the gate and stop can he do that okay they do that all right scratch him pet him tell

him he did good you gave him a bite to eat and he took a bite now see if you can ride halfway down that gate parallel to it and then stop don't try to go to the end don't try to go latch just take two or three steps forward and did that see you took a bite now ride down there and go to the latch and uh no you can't do that so we go back start over and we just quietly work with him we'll work with him and man you eat that elephant one bite

at a time and for some of us our temper is a big big elephant for us to eat it's going to give us a belly ache gives everybody around us a belly ache just one bite at a time okay be calmer today eat better today go split some firewood today uh sit down and look at yourself and say you know um I'm not really all that get a more clear view of yourself today and start working on it and but you've got to control that temper you have to uh if you don't you ain't worth

a hill of beans uh I wouldn't wear the hill of beans for years and you won't either a hot-headed temperamental um angry man that ain't worth nothing I ain't worth nothing all right they just was dig a hole and push us off in this and cover us up because all we do is keep this world and our world and those around us on edge and stirred up and just make life harder for everybody else okay um so anyhow hope that helps oh yeah my goodness Oliva V Liga Especial Oliva has a lot of different blends

and they have this Oliva V but I like this Liga Especial Special Blend um it's got more it has a more complex flavor uh it's uh it's it's a fairly uh medium strength uh medium flavor blend but it's got a little bit more complex flavor than some of them and so um when I reached in to get a cigar this morning this is what came out and I thought you know that that sounds pretty good I think I'll try that one all right so anyhow wish you guys the best hang in there and we just

continue on our journey and then keep doing better if you're not moving forward you're moving backward nobody stays the same all right so keep moving forward and we'll catch you guys next time