can I tell you what most people do cuz I've work with millions of people all over the world 100 countries here's the pattern of most people they finally commit to something they get excited about let's say and they go for it and they work at it and if they're really good they succeed and they grow in a relationship in a business in something their body and then after 7 years somewhere in 7 to 10 years sometimes five they start to question is this all there is this is really what I want you know why because
we get satiated you can have the best meal the world you like steak and lobster but if you have it three times a day for 6 months doesn't feel quite so great anymore when it used to be your dream there's nothing wrong with it but your brain starts to say there must be something more I'm going to give you the chemistry of transformation if you want to transform or you're not and you want to know why you're not you'll know which element you're missing so the first step to transformation is satiation satiation means there's nothing
wrong it's just you're doing the same things over and over again and it's no longer really exciting and fulfilling because it's not new there's no newness to it you're probably not growing as much is really the problem it's not what you're doing it's you stop growing and when you get satiated you start to think there must be a different thing in my relationship or in my body or with my kids or in my business or my finances or my mission or whatever but then if you keep going you'll eventually get to dissatisfaction that's the second
element in the chemistry of transformation dissatisfaction now you're not just doing something where it's not as fulfilled buing you're doing the same thing and it's annoying or it's painful or it's like I can't do that anymore and now the tempo for pushing change within yourself the chemistry is pushing you to make a bigger change now people don't usually do it with just dissatisfaction because change is a big thing takes energy takes uncertainty pushing through so usually you have to keep going until you what's called a threshold that's the third one third piece of the chemistry
of transformation you hit a threshold threshold is when your brain goes no more none of day not another hour not a minute I am done with this you finally got to a point where your brain said Not Another Day not hour it's been painful in the past it's painful in the present painful future I'm done now when that happens fourth element will pop in your mind this is how you know you're there you'll have an insight and the Insight almost always is it's not someone else it's me it's not my brother it's not my sister
you know it's not it's me me I'm the one not doing what's necessary I'm not managing my own mind I'm the one letting the outside world control what's going on at some point you the truth will hit you and it's not comfortable to know the truth so some people will freeze and go back but the minute you get the Insight the final piece of chemistry shows up it's called an opening and the way I describe it I see it when people stand up I know where they are I'm watching where they are in the process
and I decide I used to kick people through the opening the opening is a very very dark spot that you have to jump through to get to the other side and what makes it dark is you don't know what's on the other side but if you had enough pain on this side most of you will jump but some of you right the last minute go I don't want the other side maybe I'll hang on to what I have so I used to kick people through the opening for decades I decade and a half of my
career I do that people thought it was the greatest thing was magical but then i' see somebody a year and a half two years later and they changed back and I go what happened I go well you didn't program me properly and I realize I use the wrong metaphor it's conditioning it's not programming and you're in control of it I can help you but you're in control of it you can change your conditioning you can make yourself miserable or happy you can do whatever you want that's free will that's the one gift our creator clearly
has given us if you doubt it look how people behave you'll know there's free will and guess what what happens is if you don't jump through that opening if you don't push yourself through to the other side even though you don't know what it is you get to start the whole thing over all over again you have to wait till you get enough satiation and enough dissatisfaction and finally you get a threshold again and then the truth will stare you in the face again and then the opening will be there and will you jump through
or not so instead of kicking through I give people a little nudge from right to the edge I make them jump through so that they own the victory so what is it that will fulfill you what is it that's going to give you that art of fulfillment so you have the most amazing life cuz listen to me for a moment success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure if you make everybody happy except you that's the ultimate failure so if you want fulfillment we got to figure out what it is cuz if you achieve everything and
you don't float your boat if you don't feel that sense of meaning and fulfillment then what is it all for so there is no absolute rules when it comes to this but there are a couple of guidelines I'll give you two if you want to be fulfilled first you got to explore try different things get yourself in different EnV environments because you won't know to try enough different things get around where people are doing better and experience what they're doing and something will hit you but the rules of the game are simple there are two
aspects that will make you fulfilled of whatever you go for number one it must require you to grow in some way so you have to grow if you don't grow you what if your business is not growing it is not neutral it is dying there is no middle ground the middle ground is an illusion there's plateaus and if you don't grow from the plateaus you'll start to drop so we grow we die and by the way when we grow we feel alive people ask me all the time Tony you've traveled the whole world what is
the secret to happiness I tell them one word progress progress equals happiness I don't care if you've even gotten to the goal if you start making progress you're going to be happy cuz when you get the goal how long are you going to stay happy for I want you to think how many can think of a goal that you didn't say this is all there is I want you to think of a goal that you got to the goal and at the end of it you were thrilled you achieve the goal goal and you really
loved it and you're on fire how long did that great feeling Last 5 Years A year 6 months 6 weeks why why would you work that hard that long for something makes you feel good for maybe 6 weeks maybe a couple months cuz the purpose of a goal is not to get the goal the purpose of the goal is what it me makes of you to get the goal cuz what you get does not make you happy who you become makes you very happy or very sad that's the purpose of the goal that's the purpose
of going for it so you have to say is this something that's really going to light me up it's going to make me grow and the second part of what makes you fulfilled is giving and I'll tell you why this is not something I'm making up because I think psychologically it's great research shows it over and over again we're built to grow and we're built to give in fact how many of you when a great thing happens when you have a great experience what's the first thing you want to do when you have a really
great experience of something how many want to share it with somebody you love or somebody you care about why because we can only experience so much joy within ourselves by ourselves but when we share it it magnifies it that's why you want to do it so we're designed to grow and to give and if you're not growing you're not going to be happy and fulfilled doesn't matter what it is and if you're not giving it won't be and when you grow you have something to give they feed each other but if this process stops it
won't matter how successful you are so the point that I want to make here is if you want to be fulfilled you got to find out what it is for you and by the way it can change the different stages of Life what really fulfilled you at one time it gets scary for people some people go it's like I'm questioning everything you know I'm having a midlife crisis well maybe it's a midlife celebration [Music]
