what's going on fans time for another out of this world story from our space my 27 male wife 27 female cheated on me with my best friend 26 male i don't even know where to begin i can't describe how i'm feeling right now or how to process any of this i made this account initially to see if anyone else has gone through something remotely similar to this and unfortunately it's not that uncommon i apologize in advance for the length of this post i just needed to get this all out because i thought i'd go insane
i met my wife we'll call her sue in college we were both 18 at the time we hit it off as soon as we went on our first date and we were spewing i love yous within weeks of us dating she kind of pursued me but i was glad as hell that she did we shared our deepest insecurities and secrets with each other her dad passed away in her senior year of college i was there for her through the whole ordeal her father had pancreatic cancer and when he was hospitalized i'd spend nights at the
hospital with her so she wouldn't be alone we got through it a point in time strengthened our bond she told me she didn't know what she would have done if i hadn't been there for her she called me her soulmate i knew i was going to marry this girl and sure enough i popped the question about two years after we graduated at that point in time life couldn't get any better for me i married the girl of my dreams had a well-paying job immediately after graduating and both our families loved us my best friend we'll
call him dave and i had what i could only describe as pickable brotherly bond or so i thought we had known each other since third grade and he was the brother i never had he was also married and moved away with his wife because she had landed a lucrative job at a big law firm about a year ago his wife died in a car crash and this broke him he moved back to our hometown after but he was never the same i tried to be there for him but he wouldn't engage with anyone no one
understood the pain he was going through so i asked my wife if she could talk to him seeing as she had also lost a loved one that maybe dave could relate better with someone who went through something similar yes i know now that this was a huge mistake we'd pay him visits daily she would spend hours on end at his place even without me there they were going on hikes together watching movies and not inviting me grabbing lunch all things couples do now obviously this was far more interaction than i had intended for them to
have and it did make me uncomfortable but dave was doing much better from it it's important to say that dave and sue never liked each other before this all happened this is because sue always thought he was a douche before he married his wife dave was bouncing from a relationship to relationship and even after he got with his deceased wife he constantly cheated on her as a result sue had a particularly dislike for him always questioned how i could be friends with someone with such low morals this disdain for dave is also what made me
oblivious to what was to come as i mentioned sue and dave became inseparable to the point where she would invite him to things i had planned for us as a couple moreover she started portraying characteristics of what i now know to be classic cheater behavior always on her phone becoming increasingly distant little to no intimacy and coming home very late at this point it was all too suspicious and one day she was texting and i asked who she was talking to she said it was one of her girlfriends and when i asked to see what
they were saying she became very irritated and called me possessive when i talked to dave about how uncomfortable their friendship was making me he assured me nothing was up and even accused me of not trusting him and my own wife i was getting gaslit this continued until one day sue went out again she said she was going to her sisters for the weekend because she needed some space for me because i was driving her crazy with my accusations i was still very suspicious and called her sister to confirm if she was indeed expecting sue to
visit she confirmed that she was but sue had not yet arrived mind you she had left around p.m and her sister's place is about 4 hours away from where we live it was now 10 p.m something in the back of my head told me to go to my friend's house so i did sure enough my wife's car is parked a couple of feet away from my friend's house at this point it was clear as day as to what was going on and i hate to admit it but i cried hard after a few minutes i
decided to go in and see if this is really what was happening i went in through the back door which i knew would be open i quietly made my way in and i could hear my wife moaning i was shaking when i made it to the door of his bedroom i could see through the creek my wife ben over on his nightstand i'll never get that image out of my head i'm literally crying as i'm writing this down i pushed the door wide open and they both froze staring at me it took every ounce of
my being not to beat the living hell out of dave i just walked away and got into my car i could hear them scrambling and my wife started screaming at me to stop and that she can explain i didn't want to look at her i don't know what i would have done so i just drove away i cried the entire drive home and they were both spamming me with calls i went to one of my college friends have been there the past week or so i can't eat i can't sleep and i can't think of
anything else i informed my work of what was going on and they were kind enough to give me time off i've been getting phone calls from both dave and sue as well as both our families i let my family know i was alright and would be back soon but i haven't responded to anyone else ever since this hurts so bad i'm trying to be strong but my resolve is wavering how can someone you loved so selfishly do this i don't know what to do how do i deal with this please help me just when you
thought there wasn't any more there's an update when i looked back on the marriage and most of it was filled with little else but happy memories which is why i was trying so hard to find a reason to stay however when i started thinking about her cheating how she and dave gaslet me and made me question my sanity the only thing i felt was rage the deeper i looked the angrier i got i will never forget how angry sue would get when i questioned her on where she'd been him home late or the disgusted look
dave gave me when i asked him man to man if there was anything going on between him and my wife the cheating was bad enough and even worse was that it was with my best friend but the gaslighting the freaking gaslighting i will never get over it fair enough i was played like the fool i was but it takes a special kind of person to lie so effortlessly and so well i don't know how they were able to flip the switch like that i remember one night when she came home late about two days before
i found out she was telling me how much she loved me and how horny she was when she was driving home thinking about me now i am almost certain she had come home from dave's because she wasn't wearing any panties she had sex with both of us back to back i freaking kissed her this whole situation made me feel like a wimp how could i have let them walk all over me like that i feel so emasculated the more i reflected the more i got the urge to head over to dave's but i couldn't there
is no justice for me not with our justice system they get to torment me assault me mentally but if i retaliate i'm the one who gets put in jail for who knows how long i spoke with my lawyer about this and she urged me not to do anything stupid not only would i go to jail but i would jeopardize my chances in the divorce proceedings she suggested i see a therapist but i don't want to i don't see the need i was still getting span with emails from sue and they were just making me angrier
she was still spewing the same nonsense as before and how miserable her life would be without me she even had the nerve to send me bible verses on forgiveness if i mattered that much why do it i started to go to work again because i wanted to be busy being distracted has really helped me cope better and i don't drink as much as i was at the beginning one day while at work i received a letter from sue i wanted to just throw it away but i decided to read it in it she talked about
her individual counseling and how it helped her discover some underlying issues she was having with herself the biggest of all being her low self-esteem she explained that the discrepancy in our attractiveness made her feel very self-aware and that deep down she wanted to feel desired by someone other than me according to her her sister has always been much prettier than her and this contributed to her low self-esteem she said that even though she knew i was attracted to her and that i made her feel beautiful she sought that validation from someone else she apologized again
and said it wasn't an excuse but that she was simply looking for a way to make sure it never happens again if should i decide to give her another chance she then proceeded to ask if we could try marriage counseling to work things out i still didn't respond to anything she or her family sent me at this point so i just ignored it anyway i started the divorce proceedings and the first order of business was splitting our finances and unfortunately i couldn't untangle myself from her without her consent we each have separate accounts as well
as a joint savings account and unfortunately i can't take what i'm entitled to from it without her even though i make significantly more than she does and have contributed the most to the money in that account i'll probably have to split it with her 50 50. so i just proceeded with filing the divorce papers she was served a few weeks ago and then the crap show started the very day she was served she showed up at my apartment with the divorce petition in her hands i don't know how she found out where i was we
just stared at each other for what felt like forever and all the pain from that night came back all the emotions i felt returned with renewed vigor i almost teared up again but i didn't she looked like she had been crying and she rushed towards me and tried to give me a hug i gently pushed her away and that somehow made her hysterical she started shouting asking why i was giving up on us so easily and if we could just talk it out at this point i figured i just wanted to get away from her
looking at her gave me a wave of different emotions so i wanted to get away before i did or said anything i would regret i tried going back to my car and she threw herself on the top of the hood i asked her what she wanted she said she just wanted to talk things through that we couldn't end our marriage in such a manner without at least clearing the air i relented because she was clearly not taking no for an answer and was making a scene we got into my apartment and i just sat down
and listened to what she had to say again she said she would do anything to save our marriage that she doesn't love dave that she's sorry she said she did some research on how we can move forward and suggested a trial separation in this separation she said i could date whoever i wanted that i should hold off on the divorce and at the very least give her the chance to mend our friendship and then our relationship as husband and wife she suggested a lot of other crazy stuff like a one-sided open marriage in my favor
tried showing me stories of other couples who have survived infidelity and even suggested that we should just move to a different state or even a different country just the two of us that part kinda hurt me because we had spoken about moving and starting our family not too long before all this crap happened when she was done we just sat there in silence again just staring at each other and then i asked her why why him why cheat on me with him and then come back only after i caught her she started sobbing really hard
when i asked all these questions she said she felt really guilty even during the acts but that she didn't know how to stop that she was so deep in the affair that she didn't think of the consequences and what she was going to lose she said that the counseling made her realize that she probably would have cheated on me at some point if not with dave than was someone else this was supposedly because of the same underlying issues that she was unaware of i asked her if she loved dave and she promised me she didn't
love him but they hadn't spoken since i left and that she doesn't even know where he is now that she loved only me and would do anything to make up for what she has done to us i asked her if she had ever cheated on me before all of this and she swore on her dead father that this was the first and last time i asked her who else knew about her and dave she hesitated and said only her sister but that she only knew about it a few days before i found out she implored
her to end it and come clean to me you guys who suggested that the sister knew were spot on i also asked her why she was begging why she didn't just leave to be with dave i asked her if she was only doing this because she felt like it was the right thing to do and not because she actually wanted to be with me she answered saying that she was doing it because she loves me and because she knows she made some horrible choices we talked for a long time a lot of crying on her
end but not for me i had cried enough when i first found out and didn't have any more tears to shed over this then i asked her if there was anything else she wanted to tell me if there was anything else she was keeping a secret she started sobbing again and asked me not to get angry i got really nervous when she said that she started crying for a bit before i urged her to just say it because she was making me uneasy then it came out she said she found out she was pregnant not
long after i had left and that she got an abortion because she wasn't sure who the father was she said she thought if it turned out to be dave's there would be no room for reconciliation and she felt she had to do it i couldn't believe what i was hearing i was in shock and she started begging even more not to let this be the end of our relationship i just went numb i asked her to leave and she begged me to stay that we still needed to talk all this begging was simply infuriating coupled
with the news i just heard i asked her how far along she was when she found out she was pregnant and she said a few weeks then it hit me wait you said in an email that you only started having sex with dave about a week before i found out was that a lie she nodded she frickin nodded she explained that she only said that because she didn't want to hurt me with the details and was trying to minimize it she confessed that it was physical for less than a month she tried to console me
but i pushed her away i asked her to leave and never come back she tried saying something but i just started yelling at her to leave she asked if we could talk again once i processed everything and i refused told her i had found a job in another state and i would be moving as soon as the divorce was underway in our state there is a two-month cool-off period after you file i had already planned on doing this and was just finalizing everything before i resigned for my current job i had already given my boss
a notice at that point when she heard this it was more of the same crying and pleading like before i told her to leave or i would call the police she reluctantly left and i just lay on the floor wondering where i went wrong how did my marriage get to this point in such a short period of time i just couldn't understand it i was somewhat sure of the divorce before but after she and i spoke i was now more sure of my decision than ever i ignored all efforts on sue's end for contact again
however a few days ago this was on thursday i received a phone call from my mom that sue was in the hospital apparently she was hospitalized for a drug overdose this all felt like a nightmare i still don't know how to process all this why is all of this happening i visited sue in the hospital and she seemed to be okay but she was checked into a psych ward that's where things are at now i still have no idea why she would do this and the time i visited her she was asleep it hurts because
i still love her and right now i'm just happy she's okay i haven't been thinking of the divorce given what's going on right now how do i even proceed there's probably a lot more important details i'm leaving out but adding them will just make this unbearably long i just need suggestions on what i should do next and no comments from the community today so it's up to you leave those comments so we can see what you guys think [Music] [Applause] [Music]
