last year my ex-wife had an affair and decided to leave me oddly enough I felt a sense of relief when it happened from the outside our marriage might have looked good but on the inside it was completely empty for years I felt broken down due to the mental and financial strain she put on me she had a habit of taking large sums of money from my account leaving me struggling to pay our bills whenever I confronted her about it she turned it around on me blaming me for not earning enough money no matter what I
did it was never good enough for her everything I did seemed to annoy her or make her angry I would try to plan dates for us or organize family activities in hopes of spending quality time together but she was never interested she would complain or get upset preferring to stay in bed and sleep instead eventually I stopped trying to include her in anything which of course led to more complaints from her she accused me of keeping the children away from her even though she showed no interest in participating in the first place after some time
she began spending nights away from home initially she would say she was staying at a friend's house someone I hardly knew but when I asked questions she became irritated and told me it was none of my business where she was when my ex-wife decided she wanted a divorce I found myself in a mix of emotions on one hand I was really worried about what my life would look like after the divorce on the other hand I couldn't help but feel relieved that there was an end in sight to our unhappy marriage I made it a
point to carefully read all the documents her lawyer sent over it turned out her lawyer wasn't very careful making a lot of mistakes in the paperwork these ended up delaying our divorce hearing by several months every time I spotted a mistake I would send the documents back without signing them then his office would have to correct and resend them but often they would make new mistakes or repeat the old ones there were some pretty big mistakes in the paperwork too they misspelled my name her name got both our birth dates wrong and even messed up
our child's name and birth date they listed children that weren't ours got our marriage date wrong and even had our home address incorrect they included properties we didn't own pets we didn't have and businesses that weren't ours even suggesting a settlement involving half a million dollars for businesses we didn't own one of the drafts even had her lawyer own name spelled incorrectly which I found so funny I laughed about it while I was in the bathroom it took about seven drafts before they managed to fix most of these mistakes but even the final draft that
was submitted to the court still had major errors in it this whole process was frustrating but also a bit amusing because of the sheer number of mistakes and how basic they were it made a ult situation a little more bearable knowing that at least these Mix-Ups were slowing things down and giving me time to prepare for what was next during our divorce proceedings my ex-wife's lawyer tried to make a case in front of the judge that I should cover all the court and legal fees however I was able to make a strong argument against this
I pointed out that many of the delays in the process were due to mistakes on their end not mine there were so many errors in the paperwork they sent me that it took longer to get everything sorted out because of this the judge didn't make me pay those fees after we got divorced my ex-wife moved in with the man she left me for it turns out he's not a good guy at all and has been abusive once I changed all my banking passwords she suddenly lost access to my money she quickly realized just how much
she relied on my income to support her lifestyle which was a bit of a shock to her to make matters worse she had been managing the payments for the house we were living in which actually belonged to her uncle because she wasn't making the payments the house almost got taken away by the bank her uncle came to me desperate for help he told me that if I wanted to stay in the house I'd need to cover the back payments she missed which added up to about $15,000 for 6 months of unpaid mortgage I didn't have
that kind of money just lying around so I suggested buying the house from him instead to my surprise he agreed and now I own the house that used to belong to my ex-wife's grandmother it's been a year since the divorce was finalized I've received a promotion at work which came with a nice pay increase I'm still living in the same house work working on making improvements whenever I can afford to I haven't found a new girlfriend but through online dating I've been meeting new people and enjoying my single life looking back it's almost funny how
my ex-wife left a stable situation for someone who turned out to be far from what she expected and her actions nearly caused her uncle to lose his property in a way her decision to divorce me ended up being a huge favor to me even if it didn't seem like it at the time she might try to come back to you when she realizes the grass isn't greener on the other side but remember don't let her tears sway you and make sure you never take her back now for my update November 3rd is coming up marking
one year since my divorce was finalized in this past year I've taken significant steps to improve myself I started seeing a therapist who encouraged me to focus on personal growth and that's exactly what I've been doing I've changed my diet and exercise routine which led me to lose over 50 pounds soccer has always been a passion of mine so I got back into playing regularly and even started coaching my kids youth soccer team on top of of that I rediscovered my love for reading setting a goal to read a new book every week my efforts
have paid off at work too I received a big raise and a promotion which has made it much easier for me to take care of myself and my child despite all these positive changes my ex-wife suddenly wants to be part of our Lives again her latest relationship with a man she thought was her savior from our terrible marriage has turned violent he's been abusive and one recent episode was so severe it landed her in the hospital our child was with her at the time and had to call for an ambulance despite the evidence my ex-wife
refuses to press charges or admit what happened though the bruises clearly tell the story just last night I attended a family party this side of the family and I have always gotten along well and they invited me over I was polite to my ex-wife but kept my distance choosing not to engage in conversation with her however her family seems to have convinced her that we're still in love which couldn't be further from the truth my ex-wife might have been okay with how things were in our marriage but I certainly wasn't happy at all I became
so withdrawn and unresponsive almost like I was just there as another source of money for her in the last two years we were together she emotionally and financially took advantage of me during our final year as a married couple she was cheating on me with another guy every time I tried to talk to her about her affair she denied everything and would run off to his place when I finally caught her red-handed she blamed me saying it was because I wasn't supportive enough but the truth was I was giving her all my earnings after paying
our bills I hadn't even bought myself new clothes or shoes for years because of how tight money was then out of the blue she turned up at one of the soccer games after the game she asked me if I was ready to move back in with her I was totally taken aback and asked her why on Earth I would do something like that she launched into this whole story about how we're still in love we have a kid together and how it would be better for our child if we raised them together I had to
tell her straight that I don't have any love or trust left for her at all I even reminded her that she still owes me over $1,100 for fixing her car her response she said she'd pay me back if we moved in together that's when I couldn't hold back and just burst out laughing so hard that I doubled over seeing me laugh she started crying which honestly just made me laugh even harder maybe it wasn't the kindest reaction but after everything I've been through and all the effort I've put into bettering myself the idea of going
back to her to the very person who caused me so much pain just seemed like the worst possible decision my child still holds a lot of affection for his mother and I would never do anything to damage their relationship I believe if there's any turning away to be done she'll manage that on her own with her actions the idea that she suggested we move back in together took me by surprise she didn't offer any apologies or show any signs of regret for her past actions instead she just boldly proposed we start living together again acting
as if she's bringing something valuable to the table this kind of thinking on her part is pretty out there and then there's our child who had to go through the distressing experience of seeing his mom in a harmful situation that's something that could really affect him deeply I think it's important to try and secure full custody to protect him from being in such a harmful environment again moving on to my latest news I've met someone really special I understand that healing from all these events will take time for everyone involved but I'm hopeful that we
can all find our own versions of Happiness whatever decisions we make about our relationships this past year has been a roller coaster for me I celebrated the first anniversary of my divorce on November 3rd since then I've been focusing on self-improvement through therapy and I've been dating I've met some fantastic women and admittedly a few that weren't a great match for me just this Monday my ex-wife came across a Facebook post from my girlfriend Sher Sher had shared some photos from a wonderful trip we took together over the weekend we indulged in delicious food enjoyed
a few drinks and generally had an incredible time capturing lots of fun moments in photos I'm not usually one to document my dates with pictures but I really like share so when she asked if she could post our trip pictures and tag me I was happy to agree I was pretty sure sharing those photos would stir up some drama but the reaction I received from my ex-wife and her family was astonishingly intense let me give you a bit more background to paint the whole picture my ex-wife was unfaithful for over a year before we officially
ended our marriage she was seeing someone else even before we separated and moved in with her boyfriend while our divorce was still being processed now we've been divorced for a year throughout our marriage my ex-wife was both emotionally and financially manipulative and harmful towards me unfortunately she continues to be abusive but after I posted those photos she dropped to an entirely new level of hostility and disrespect towards me on Monday she Twisted the story to make it look like I was the one who had been unfaithful she complained about how shameful it was for me
to humiliate her by sharing pictures on on social media where I'm seen with other women she accused me of being selfish and insensitive for not considering her feelings and labeled me a coward for hiding that I'm seeing other people she even claimed that by my actions I've destroyed any hope of us ever getting back together saying that any love she still had for me was killed off by what she called my cheating ways the whole time she was making these accusations she was on the phone shouting and berating me meanwhile I couldn't help but find
the irony of her claims hilarious I just laugh laughed as she spent a good 30 minutes ranting about how I supposedly ruined our relationship and betrayed her despite her being the one who cheated and was abusive throughout our relationship when my ex-wife asked me about my fidelity during our marriage I was clear with her I'd been completely faithful and loyal until our relationship officially ended she didn't stop there though she went on to question me about my dating life since our divorce that made me laugh even more and I firmly told her that my personal
life is no longer her concern since we're not together anymore more I pointed out to her that just as I don't meddle in her Affairs she has no right to intrude into mine despite my attempt to set this boundary she bombarded me with a series of really hurtful and offensive text messages attacking me and my current girlfriend Sher she even threatened to send Sher direct messages to tell her all sorts of negative things about being married to me I told her she was welcome to try if she thought it would make any difference then my
ex-wife mentioned wanting to meet Sher in person to see what kind of woman she is suggesting that Sher must be a terrible person for supposedly breaking up a happy marriage that's when I really had to question her grasp on reality I reminded her bluntly that our marriage had ended over a year ago and it was she who had an affair left me for someone else and filed for divorce at this point my ex-wife broke down crying through her tears she confessed that she had been holding on to hope that we might somehow reconcile she complained
that it was unfair I had moved on and found someone else to spend time with insisting that I should be focusing on doing things with her and our child as as if we were still a family this whole conversation highlighted just how disconnected from reality my ex-wife had become seemingly unable to accept the consequences of her own actions that led to the end of our marriage my ex-wife recently confessed to me that she's unhappy in her current relationship with her boyfriend mentioning that he doesn't treat her well honestly I wasn't surprised by this Revelation because
I had suspected as much for a while however hearing about her problems doesn't bring me any satisfaction in fact I really don't have any feelings for her anymore and I have no desire to get back together with her I'd prefer it if we didn't have to interact at all but on a brighter note my life is going really well right now I've found happiness with my girlfriend Sher she brings so much joy into my life and I always look forward to spending time with her she's the last person I talk to before I go to
sleep and the first one I reach out to when I wake up we're even planning another trip together soon I'm aware that sharing photos of our trip might trigger a negative reaction from my ex-wife but to me me living my life happily is worth any backlash it's clear to me now that my ex-wife has always tried to make me out to be the bad guy which is a classic narcissistic behavior to those giving me advice you're right I should keep our interactions strictly about our child and avoid getting dragged into long pointless conversations with her
and yes I'm prepared for the possibility that she might try to spread lies about me but I'm focusing on moving forward positively now for a bit of a reflection 2 years on the day everything changed for me was March 21st 2022 that late night in 2021 I discovered not just one Affair but evidence of another and possibly more after 23 years of marriage two biological children and a stepchild I spent a year trying to mend our relationship but her ongoing issues with mental health PTSD substance abuse and secretive Behavior like finding a second phone she
was using made it impossible to continue trying to reconcile the final straw in my marriage came when she fired a gun into my side of the bed that terrifying moment made me decide to end things once and for all I filed for divorce in April and by June it was all over the relief I felt was enormous it was like I had been given a second chance at life up until that point I hadn't fully grasped just how much stress and fear I had been living with looking back I can see all the mistakes I
made after discovering her betrayal I reacted all wrong instead of taking time to process everything I rushed into trying to fix our relationship without addressing the underlying issues we didn't seek therapy immediately which was a huge oversight by the time we did start therapy it was already too late to make any difference our children had already lost all respect for their mother and I was left feeling a mix of Devastation humiliation anger and grief I was barely getting through the days feeling like a zombie in April of last year I was overwhelmed by the number
of people who reached out to offer their support after my ex-wife launched a smear campaign against me on social media she accused me of Everything Under the Sun from abuse and rape to stealing a significant amount of money of course she conveniently left out her own actions I responded by posting a short public service announcement to clear my name stating that none of the accusations were true I understood if some people felt they needed to distance themselves from me but I also hoped others would be willing to give me the chance to prove my innocence
meanwhile I focused on improving myself I got in shape dropping from 250 lb to 185 I also made a significant career move taking on a new role that came with a promotion I had plans to enjoy a summer of Revenge by casually dating through phone apps during this time an old high school classmate reached out to me she lived far away and was going through a similar breakup having discovered her partner's betrayal about 6 months after mine we started checking in with each other regularly offering support and understanding when I had to traveled to Knoxville
for work we found ourselves texting one night catching up and sharing our experiences I had been looking forward to experiencing some live music during my stay talking up how exciting the two nights ahead of me were going to be but contrary to what I initially thought my summer didn't turn out to be filled with a series of casual flings as I had playfully imagined instead what unfolded was a summer filled with Beach outings live music tours of distilleries since she really enjoys whiskey and simply having a great time the likes of which I hadn't experienced
in years as summer transitioned into fall our relationship deepened we got to meet each other's families spent Thanksgiving with her family celebrated Christmas together and even took a trip to Las Vegas to enjoy a long weekend over the Super Bowl all these experiences brought us closer now as I celebrate my 52nd birthday I find myself genuinely happy the last couple of birthdays were pretty rough but this one feels special and exciting because she's on her way to move in with me she she's a nurse and managed to quickly find a job in my city here
in the South she's decided to keep her own house and let her daughter rent it out if a friend were in my situation I might have cautioned them that it's too much too soon but for us it just feels like the right move we're not rushing into marriage or anything like that we're just two people who are tired of trying to match our schedules and missing out on time together we're moving in together to see if our relationship is as strong as we believe it to be on this forum a lot of people talk about
Karma or getting revenge on their exes in my case my ex still sends me drunk texts often saying she wishes we were still together it's a mix of apologies and blaming me for our breakup half the time she's sorry and the other half she still thinks everything was my fault but the truth is I'm much happier now without her I'm less stressed and I've met someone incredible she's amazing way more than I ever expected to be with and she's really into me even though I sometimes worry it's too good to be true so in a
way I feel like I've already gotten the best kind of of Revenge by just living my life well my message to you all is that even though what happened to you because of your spouse or partner was devastating it's possible to move past it and find happiness again sometimes they don't realize the good thing they had until it's gone but once you're on the other side you might see that you're actually better off I shared my story to inspire you not to give up no matter how tough things get it's never too late to make
a fresh start remember to put yourself first and have faith in your ability to recover and thrive things really can improve I managed to start a new at 50 proving it's possible at any age and that wraps up today's update if you're following along don't forget to like And subscribe so you won't miss future stories until next time goodbye
