The Immature vs Mature Feminine

hello and welcome back to my channel the content of today's video pertains to archetypes and how those archetypes influence Society The Source material for this video comes from a variety of places including the book made into to Mother unlocking our archetypal journey into the mature feminine by Sarah Wilson podcasts and YouTube videos on dating and relationships articles I read online as well as my own opinions and observations I do have research that I'm citing but I'm not telling you that all the subject matter in this video is Hardline objective truth these are abstract Concepts that

I'm reinterpreting and trying to relate to concrete reality though my conclusions may be considered as speculation or conjecture by some my goal is to have an open conversation where we can consider new ideas and revisit old ones in the pursuit of Truth archetypes are symbols that occur in stories and stimulate certain feelings inside of us because they represent Universal truths they can take the form of a character an image or a pattern that occurs consistently across myths Legends and stories we identify with archetypes because they mimic the situations and emotions we experience throughout our lives

we see ourselves in archetypes the concept of archetypes has been deeply explored by men like Joseph Campbell and Carl Young both masculine and feminine archetypes have been identified ifed and expounded upon because an archetype is symbolic it's not something that applies to all people and every situation no matter what it is merely a summation and a generalization of human thought and behavior there are seven feminine archetypes but for the purpose of this video I'll only be discussing the three chronological ones because they're correlated with levels of maturity these three archetypes are known as the maiden

the mother and the Crone these three archetypes represent the stages of a woman's life she begins Life as a maiden transitions to a mother and in the latter part of her life she gains the wisdom to become a crone each feminine archetype is a powerful representation of the elements found within a woman's psyche ideally a woman will Encompass all seven feminine archetypes in some manner throughout the course of her life but in the stories and dreams we create characters are often divided into one of the primary archetypes the maiden can be thought of as the

mature feminine and the mother and Crone represent the mature feminine each form that the maiden archetype takes like all archetypes has a shadow side the shadow is where Darkness lurks in the human soul with each archetype there are good qualities and their bad qualities much like how people actually are in real life the shadow aspects of the maiden emerge the most in women who have failed to make the psychological transition from Maiden to Mother despite getting older this is commonly referred to as the wounded Maiden the book Maiden to Mother by Sarah Durham Wilson explores

this concept in depth according to the book many women in today's society are perpetually stuck in their wounded Maiden this is evident not just anecdotally but shows up in our culture as well the epidemic of immature and wounded women stuck in an earlier phase of development is exemplified by the appearance of something called brat summer which is a term coined for women who are fans of a pop artist known as Charlie XCX and her new album entitled brat that has become popular an article was published by USA Today explaining how gen Z seems to have

particularly been taken by the aesthetic and attitude of Charlie XCX according to the article brat summer is all about accepting your imperfections while embracing the chaos Charlie XCX and her fans seek change the meaning of the word brat from being a negative thing to a trendy and positive thing according to the artist herself quote you're just like that girl who is a little messy and likes to party and maybe says dumb things sometimes who feels herself but maybe also has a breakdown but kind of like parties through it is very honest very blunt a little

bit volatile like does dumb things but it's brat your brat that's brat end quote it should be noted that this woman is 32 years old brat summer seems to be about the exaltation of partying pleasure seeking and sexual promiscuity it glamorizes Hedonism this trend provides an example of how acceptable it is for women to delay adulthood indefinitely it is almost as if Society ushers women into a Perpetual state of stunted psychological development vment characterized by a lack of self-awareness and without a sense of personal responsibility it's become fashionable to live according to no one else's

standards and behave in unruly ways to redefine the common usage of the word brat the wounded Maiden because women are getting married and having children later and later in life their maidenhood is being extended in the past women would marry around the age of 20 and that is normally when they would transition from Maiden to Mother due to the dramatic changes that took place but now since the average age of marriage and children for women is closer to 30 the transition from Maiden to mother is happening later in their lives this can be a problem

because at the age of 18 people are considered adults they begin to have adult responsibilities careers and relationships they are legally held accountable for their actions women at this age who get pregnant and give birth are required to summon a lot of maturity in order to meet the responsibilities of Parenthood women May unconsciously believe that remaining in their Maiden archetype is a way of preserving their youth however the lack of the mature feminine is actually holding them back and they don't even realize it I understand that it may feel somewhat unnatural to embrace maturation as

it seems to detract from the appeal of Youth unfortunately just because you stop maturing psychologically doesn't mean your body body stops aging Sometimes women resist maturation because they fear abandonment but by failing to grow and improve themselves these women bring on the very thing that they fear as a woman gets older and continues to resist transitioning to the mature feminine the more likely she is to display the negative qualities that go along with the shadow side of the maiden she will lack accountability she will blame other people for her problems she'll be the permanent damsel

IND stress ever victimized by a cruel and unjust world it's a good thing to harness the attributes of the maiden archetype while a woman is still in her youth there are positive qualities of the maiden that are appropriate to embrace throughout a woman's lifetime such as Purity Vitality playfulness creativity curiosity Vibrance and hope in fact these traits are needed later in life in order to balance the sober pessimism of the Crone and Aid a woman in her relationships with men because a woman must be able to be vulnerable in order to communicate in a feminine

manner however when a woman fails to shed the maiden archetype and never makes the transition towards maturity she becomes more and more dysfunctional lobsters are biologically Immortal this means that they have the capacity to live for an unknown number of years and they don't die of old age unlike humans who have a life expectancy of 75 to 80 years however there is a disease that can kill them in the wild called shell disease lobsters have an exoskeleton that must be moled as they increase in size so a lobster must periodically shed its Old Shell and

grow a newer larger one shell disease is an infection that causes lobsters to be unable to cast off their old shells despite continuing to grow larger this results in them becoming trapped inside their old shells and they die much like how a lobster with shell disease becomes trapped in shell human beings can become trapped inside former versions of themselves and despite aging they never transition into newer more mature archetypes the dark side of the maiden the wounded Maiden takes many forms and Exhibits various traits that Encompass the dysfunctional version of the maiden archetype if a

woman leans more towards the damsel and distress incarnation of the maiden her immaturity will surface as being impulsive being unable to follow her intuition feeling powerless having a lack of good boundaries an aversion to work a tendency to blame others lacking a sense of personal responsibility and playing the victim whenever she's in a bad situation she will lack the ability to solve her own problems and therefore must appeal to the men in her life to rescue her from the bad outcomes of her bad choices instead of gaining the wisdom to change your behavior and make

better decisions in order to avoid bad outcomes in the first place the Vixen is another Trope that embodies the immature feminine or wounded Maiden this type of woman is ruled by her volatile emotions and can be unpredictable and highly reactive her emotions are powerful and feel like a storm she habitually devalues herself by giving herself away cheaply to men she can't let go of strong feelings like anger and rage she refuses to submit and will become defiant whenever based with an authority figure she can be highly deceptive manipulative and relents to her unbridled hypergamy by

jumping from manto man and shielding herself from emotional connections she lacks self-control and suffers from persistent loneliness which she tries to alleviate by having transient sexual encounters however she is never able to fill the hole inside all women who are trapped in a version of The Shadow Maiden archetype share some of the same attributes such as a tendency towards guilt tripping and being chronically attracted to chaos they're also characterized by a lack of personal sovereignty a craving for attention low self-worth and maybe most prominently they don't have a strong sense of self as a result

of this immature energy they have trouble with relationships because they have no self-awareness and they try to control the people in their lives through manipulation [Music] what does immaturity look like in grown women there are several different ways to Define emotional maturity one definition is having the ability to deal with reality mature people have a Mastery of their emotions knowledge of their own limitations and a high level of resilience in my opinion I think being mature means doing things you don't want to do and doing them without complaint as part of your obligations toward other

people mature women establish meaningful connections with the world and with other people and they do their best to honor those connections immature women on the other hand feel obligated to know one because they see themselves existing as an island instead of existing within a web of relationships they don't consider how their actions will affect the people around them there are no good statistics that measure the maturity of women but we do have other statistics that may apply to this subject we know that women are putting off marriage until the average age of 29 in order

to enjoy life in their 20s we know that women are initiating 70 to 80% of divorces we also know that nearly half of all babies born in the US are born to unwed mothers and that the birth rate is well below replacement in Western countries which indicates women are having fewer children or none at all all I believe that the cause behind our new reality is that there's a severe lack of the mature feminine found within our society and that the women who have ascended the ladders of power and are now in charge of our

institutions think like children depending on how immature a woman is she will likely display some or all of the following characteristics lack of self-reflection chronically self-absorbed always putting herself first lacking empathy and remorse impulsivity failure to learn from past mistakes refusal to do any emotional work and denying or distorting reality if a woman is extremely immature she may alter her perception of reality in order to validate her own self-image these traits cause the people around her to feel uncomfortable confused and totally disregarded this makes it difficult for people to maintain relationships with women who are

immature the lack of the mature feminine can be seen in the Dynamics of female dominated institutions and workplaces women seem to hate each other just for existing and they can be ruthless if all women develop their mature feminine they would actually feel happy when good things happen to other women because they would have empathy they would spend more time concerned with their own contributions to an organization than trying to sabot each other within all female environments the lack of maturity causes women to behave like petulant children instead of wise supportive adults because immaturity breeds toxicity

in 2009 an article was published by the daily male detailing the failed social experiment of a woman named Samantha brick who was the CEO of a television production company in 2005 she invested all of her resources into starting her own company and person Al selected an all female staff in an effort to create a working environment of utopian Sisterhood free from the hubris of men unfortunately within the first few weeks the women divided themselves into different clicks and soon began sabotaging and backstabbing each other the women were more concerned with turning their workplace into a

fashion show than actually getting any work done they would spread vicious rumors steal personal items from each other and fight like 5-year-old children after 2 years of starting her own company Samantha brick went bankrupt and lost everything one of the biggest indicators of immaturity in women is their failure to take accountability for what they do in order to be accountable for your actions you must examine your circumstances and figure out what role you play Whenever there is an undesirable outcome instead of making a list of people to blame you should focus on owning your mistakes

it's important to acknowledge the mistakes you make that contribute to your problem or cause problems for other people the reason for this is that you can't control what other people do but you can control what you do to be mature you must be honest with yourself and value criticism from other people in order to establish the truth the truth is everything you also must value the feelings and well-being of those around you immature women are able to process criticism because it contradicts with their self-image as people who rarely or never make mistakes they may have

no problems criticizing other people but they can't accept any feedback that brings their imperfections to light they may use rationalizations and defensiveness to avoid receiving any truthful information about themselves they may feel attacked or blamed however this is the wrong way to look at criticism in truth criticis ism is your friend you must expect that the people in your life including you are going to make mistakes sometimes people have an error in judgment sometimes there are unintended consequences of our actions that we don't foresee the ability to view criticism as something that makes you smarter

and better will allow you to listen to it without getting offended in turn you as a person should be forgiving of those around you because you understand that nobody is perfect an immature woman will show signs of having an entitled mentality she will feel deserving of things that she did not earn entitled people tend to have difficulty grasping the concept of sacrifice and give and take in situations they don't understand that there are always trade-offs in life they believe they can have everything they want at all times without giving anything up and this can lead

to conflict in relationships because relationships require compromise in order to function entitlement can also cause a woman to lack appreciation for the people in her life and this can result in her lacking gratitude which leads to a waste of resources she will use various tactics to avoid feeling shame regret and guilt while unpleasant these feelings serve an important purpose because they can help people make changes in order to better themselves in their lives because they're being motivated by their conscience how immaturity affects other people if you're interacting with a woman who is immature you may

experience discomfort or feel like you're walking on eggshells around her careful not to set off any unpleasant emotions because she's emotionally disregulated you may be afraid to offer any criticism you may also feel anxious confused exhausted or annoyed you'll notice that your thoughts and feelings are dismissed and you're having one-sided conf conversations you may feel like you can't even think straight after having spoken with her and that there's never any conflict resolution immature women tend to use deflection as a way of inhibiting their conscious mind from processing any information that might damage their self-esteem this

is because their egos are extremely fragile judging other people has become a taboo in our society especially if it's being directed towards people's sexual behavior it's not okay to shame women anymore because we're all supposed to embrace sex positivity there's an attitude in society that is long as someone isn't hurting other people that they should be able to do whatever they want the problem is that Lous behavior on the part of women not only hurts other people but it also hurts themselves immature women have a tendency to be promiscuous and this makes it more difficult

for other women to find committed relationships because too many women are having sex with men they barely know in exchange for nothing when too many women give sex away cheaply it lowers the value of sex itself resulting in a form of sexual inflation promiscuity at an early age interferes with a woman's ability to form pair bonds chemicals are produced during the sexual act including oxytocin and vasopress which cause a woman to psychologically bond with the man she's having sex with the mut ual production of these chemicals forms a synaptic map inside the brain and leads

to what is known as a pair bond this is why women often form emotional attachments with men they sleep with even if it's only meant to be a casual encounter when a person frequently engages in casual sex with several different people this synaptic map becomes chaotic and it hinders the production of these bonding chemicals every time the person has a new sex partner they're unwittingly Breaking the Bond that they formed with their former sex partner this is how a woman who engages in promiscuity sabotages her future relationships I want to make it clear that everyone

is born immature and ignorant including myself I've done many of the things I listed above because I too had an extended immature Maiden period of my life and I was also very stupid if you're a woman who is watching this video there is no shame in admitting that you have these problems admitting your own ignorance or immaturity is a huge step in your cognitive development I try to forgive myself for being wrong as long as I'm willing to make Corrections in my thinking and my actions when I realize that I am wrong and you should

too I made a choice to develop my mature mother archetype and I can tell you from experience that things are much better on this side of it having an immature mindset well into adulthood may seem fun but it only holds you back I find that maturity brings contentment origins of immaturity there's a concept in developmental psychology called Arrested Development that refers to what happens when a person gets stuck in an earlier stage of development due to some trauma that occurred as a child psychologist Eric Ericson theorized eight stages of psychosocial development and Jean P postulated

that there were four stages of intellectual development Arrested Development is a syndrome that is characterized by mental and emotional stagnation and leads to emotional disregulation Failure to Launch syndrome and problems with social skills the person continues to mature physically but they maintain the mentality of a child and may have trouble processing their feelings effectively the kind of trauma that results in Arrested Development is subjective and the impact varies based on how the child perceives the incident and how much support they Reed from adults at the time it happened abuse grief and neglect are all potential

forms of trauma that can be responsible for the stagnation this idea is used to explain childish and narcissistic behavior in adults the meaning of trauma is defined as a distressing or dangerous event that results in some form of harm and is tied to how a person responds to that event we know that children are supposed to have specific experiences in their lives and if they receive the wrong experiences then there's an increased likelihood that they may develop a mental illness the trouble is trying to identify Which experiences are harmful and which are necessary for their

psychosocial development trauma can be physical such as abuse or a car accident but it can also be emotional such as the prolonged illness of a parent or moving to a new school because a person's internal processes are involved as a reaction to an event and everyone processes reality differently unfortunately there's no way to measure the extent or direct consequences of a specific traumatic experience because all trauma is relative in an article I read entitled understanding the difference between a difficult moment in a trauma it says that 75% of Americans say they have experienced a traumatic

event at some point in their lives and yet this doesn't mean that 75% of Americans are cognitively stunted or suffer from from mental illness because of it is it possible that we've been thinking about trauma in the wrong way what if a certain level of what we call trauma is actually a normal thing for humans to experience what we Define as a normal and healthy childhood has only been possible to achieve in the west since the end of World War II and the start of the boomer generation humans as a species have been around for

about 300,000 years and for the vast majority of our existence we lived in Hunter gather group groups and this is reflected in our Evolution for hundreds of thousands of years we lived in small groups of about 150 people life was short and brutal and it was not uncommon for children to experience the violent deaths of their parents and siblings we only have three thin layers of tissue called meni surrounding our brains to protect us from head injuries yet there are 16 documented coping mechanisms such as sublimation and ction to help our psyches process emotional pain

and suffering our brains are the most vital organ we have and yet we've developed a lot more ways of coping with mental and psychological damage than physical injuries to the brain how could we have possibly evolved so many ways of dealing with emotional turbulence if it had not been a normal occurrence for all humans in the past humans developed coping mechanisms as a way of adapting to their environment and trauma must have been a component of that environment for women specifically life in the past was filled with pain and suffering child birth itself was risky

because 1 to 2% of women died women in the Neolithic period would have children backto back without anesthesia and had on average between 8 to 10 children however 27% of infants did not survive the first year of life and approximately 48% of children died before finishing puberty the death of a child is the worst thing that could happen to a woman and Prehistoric Women watch nearly half of their children die before the age of 15 up to the point of industrialization in the late 1800s the domestic work women did was very difficult along with cooking

cleaning and child wearing women were seamstresses farmers and Weavers prior to the invention of the washing machine doing laundry was backbreaking Labor that took all day to complete never before in all of human history has life been so easy for women as it is today what we now would consider to be trauma was part of daily life for early humans all the way into the dawn of the 20th century for this reason I believe that as humans a healthy amount of undesirable experiences are crucial towards our mental growth and development I I believe that the

deficiency of maturity in women today may not be due to trauma but actually a lack of adversity and their lives difficult experiences shape us and grant us wisdom along with teaching us how to make good choices and avoid making the same mistakes over and over again for me personally learning to see hardships and Misfortune as challenges to overcome has helped me Prevail over the Calamity of my life to be clear I'm not advocating for the propagation of traumatic events to happen to children or anyone else there are certain things that should never happen to children

and there are terrible consequences when they do I don't want to downplay the serious effects trauma can have on a person's well-being I simply think that expecting nothing bad to happen to anyone ever is unrealistic we didn't psychologically evolve under conditions of extreme comfort and therefore we are not adapted to it the cavemen who overcame traumatic experiences and lived on to reproduce passed down their genetics and they are the people we descended from here's a little side note there's a content creator on YouTube named rogard Lynch who has a channel called what if Al his

he has a great video called Mouse Utopia where he talks about an experiment from the 1960s by a man named calhon in which he took a group of mice and placed them in an enclosure under the perfect conditions for them to reproduce and Thrive there was always enough food there were no Predators it even had the perfect temperature there are striking similarities between what happened in Mouse Utopia and our own human civilization I would highly recommend that you go to what if Al his YouTube Channel and check out his video about Mass Utopia what is

the mother archetype the mature feminine is focused on internal value groundedness self-confidence and is associated with intuition there's also an element of authority that goes along with being a mother because she must have enough emotional strength to properly discipline her children and yet also have the softness to comfort them when needed unlike the maiden who is reactive to her environment the mother is proactive this archetype is versatile being a creative force that brings forth new life and is a supportive nurturer the shadow aspect is the devouring mother which I have covered in a previous video

you don't actually have to be a mother in order to cultivate your mature feminine there are plenty of women who are mothers and who still have not matured and there are also women who aren't mothers who have in the book Maiden to Mother it says that if you don't have children it's possible to cultivate the mother archetype through mothering yourself though I found this recommendation to be vague it's also possible to cultivate the mature feminine by helping to raise younger siblings or being a stepmother in the past many women became midwives in order to help

other women become mothers any kind of caretaking Fosters this archetype there are also changes you can make to your behavior in order to become more mature though keep in mind that maturation is a process a good place to start is with self-discipline and instilling rules and routines for yourself with the goal of following through set standards for yourself and for your environment learn to listen more than you speak allow others to be in the spotlight as you casually observe don't rush to judge other people without also being prepared to issue judgement for yourself the role

of the mother within a family unit the mother is the glue that keeps everyone together she's the one who cooks and hosts family dinners she makes arrangements for the family to gather during holidays she's responsible for the domain of the household and decorating and tidying up she brings warmth compassion and laughter she is the mediator and buffer between the children and and the authority of the father she doesn't seek the company of men nor wish for men to swarm around her because she understands that she's no longer in that phase of her life often times

it is the mother who remembers birthdays handles doctor appointments and cuts coupons to save money she places the tribe above herself another responsibility of the mother is to ensure that Purity is maintained in her daughters as they reach maidenhood themselves as she gets older it's her job to guide her daughters in understanding their value and prevent them from giving themselves away cheaply to undeserving men she's unable to do this however if she herself is still stuck in her own maidenhood which results in a subtle competition between her and her daughters she does not consider herself

to be her daughter's friend but rather her mentor and advisor she assumes a leadership role and models a apprpriate behavior in engaging socially with other people with her sons the mature woman knows it's not good to smother them or become overbearing in their lives she understands that she must give her sons opportunities to make mistakes and fix those mistakes the mature woman gives her sons responsibilities and holds them accountable for making bad choices her focus is not to overpower her sons and strip them of masculinity but instead allow them to lead within reasonable limits when

her son gets a girlfriend or gets married she doesn't try to control the situation yet she offers him wisdom and what to expect from women she allows her sons to express themselves even in angst and she shows them compassion and unconditional love the mother versus the maiden the maiden is focused on superficiality in many ways placing emphasis on her looks and the beauty of other women but as a woman matures she focuses more and more on her mind the mother does not fear emotional work she understands the power of the Unseen the mother invests in

her knowledge of the world as she prepares to enter the Crone phase of her life which is all about wisdom reading is a way in which the mother expands herself psychologically perhaps even getting closer and closer to self-actualization it's important to note that she also puts in an effort to maintain her physical health by exercising and adhering to a healthy diet a healthy mind needs a healthy body to Move It from place to place a mature woman understands the value of time she does not give her time away frivolously to people who don't deserve it

she also understands the value of Truth she fully accepts the truth even when she doesn't like it because she knows that the only way to solve her own problem s is by accepting reality she never acts out of spite and she doesn't use her sexuality as a weapon to control the men in her life the mature woman acts with humility which keeps her grounded and of sound judgment she has expectations of herself not just for other people and she practices self-discipline and patience in order to adhere to a moral code for the mother she knows

that she must live with her decisions the free-spirited life she lived in her past is gone and now she must focus on her current life as caretaker and wife the mature woman accepts that she must remain faithful to the man she married even if there are times in which she doesn't like him the maiden on the other hand is quick to divorce even at the expense of her children because she believes she's above compromise the maiden will not make sacrifices for the family because she doesn't believe that something could be more important than her self

and she is self overt tried as said in the book Maiden to Mother the goal of the maiden in life is not to secure a male's commitment but to always be personally fulfilled and ecstatic in conclusion there are mechanisms in society that contribute to all adults thinking and behaving more like children including social media and smartphones which reward instant gratification and shorten detention spans with hits of dopamine social media has also caused us to compare our lives with other people instead of appreciating the life we have combine the dissatisfaction this brings us with impulse control

issues and it's easy to see who benefits advertisers want adults to behave like children because it makes them better consumers the infantilization of grown women in art media and advertisements isn't new in television and movies women who are portrayed as beautiful tend to be innocent naive and inexperienced which reinforces the idea that youth is the most valuable trait a woman can have beauty standards reflect this women are supposed to shave their legs because it makes them look prepubescent they use Cosmetics to make their eyes look wider and their skin youthful and glowing this is an

issue that feminists have been protesting about for years however it's natural for men to find younger women more attractive than older women this is because Evolution has programmed them to seek out mates who are physically capable of bearing children and who have many years ahead of them their programmed to be attracted to Health and Beauty because it signals good genetics this is why overweight older women do not meet beauty standards because beauty standards are based on what men are naturally drawn to an article published by The Institute for for family studies details a study conducted

in April 2019 on the number of Lifetime sexual partners of Americans and its association with infidelity according to the study one of the strongest predictors of people having extramarital Affairs is a high number of Lifetime sexual partners people who had five or more sexual partners were twice as likely to cheat on their spouses than those who had for and under prior to the invention of DNA tests paternity Assurance was more likely to be established if a man married a woman who was a virgin younger women are more likely to be virgins or have fewer lifetime

sexual partners than older women because they've had less time to ACR sexual experiences I believe that the reason women are clinging onto childish behavior is to make themselves appear more youthful this may be due to the idea that when women are no longer young attractive they serve no purpose in society this is a false yet pervasive belief that many women hold and this is why it's important to have children being a wife mother and grandmother gives Every Woman purpose and meaning that less well beyond menopause a woman's intrinsic value doesn't have to be tied to

how young beautiful or sexy she is to men my advice for women is to resist a world that wants to keep you locked within a little girl mentality adults who think like children are easy to control it seems like we forgotten that growing up is a good thing having children and living in the service of others can make you very happy unlike a lifestyle of instant gratification and the celebration of things like brat summer resist the Allure of Chaos in the rejection of a monotonous lifestyle with a monogamous partner don't cower in fear of adversity

and challenges because they have the potential to bring you wisdom don't measure the value of your life on how many men find you sexually attractive you don't need tons of guys telling you how desirable you are you really just need one so thank you for watching this video I hope you found it to be compelling and thoughtful I will be including a list of citations in the description below if you want to look at those if you have any thoughts you'd like to share go ahead and leave me a comment down below again thank you

for listening and have a good day