Matt Rife - Unlicensed Therapy - #077

[Music] why would you be giving therapy and advice to people who clearly need it doesn't make any sense sorry it's a horrible idea you're listening I'm licensed unless my license and license on the license on licensed therapy with re Maris the guy who owns this apartment building is 95 years old thanks mr. Bradley and when I moved in I said can I use the garages but I saw Them I was like can I put the car in there and he goes no we use it for storage I have a bunch of old stuff in there

okay and one day I was just bored and I was peeking around it was all trashed everything in here was trashed I was like I don't want to disrespect the guy I got a good deal I'm not gonna again so he said then he died okay and in the midst of all this thing I'm like I'm just gonna open the garage Clear it out start using it and pretend like I've been using it so no one liked him for his old [ __ ] or anything it was literally trash it was literally like that wouldn't

have been value to anyone except maybe a hoarder yeah it was old furniture but like ratty furniture it wouldn't be worth anything it'd be hard to give away like there were there was proud there was rat poop I didn't see actually any rats but tons of bugs the walls were covered in oil And dirt it was gross oh my god dude yeah so I spent days clearing all the [ __ ] out then I painted it no first I hosed it down then I painted it then I got wood paneling from Home Depot saying the

wood paneling I glued I got construction it's glued yeah that's all there just be a glue like strong construction glue he says piece together nice yeah so I just put a little set together good work and Pretty good it's not perfect you could hear a little street noise but no one complains and yeah that's really this looks like a place you for sure Odeon I'm outside on the inside it's nice there was a candle yeah it looks like a lot of weird [ __ ] goes down here and who knows the history of what went

down in here there could've been crackheads in here there's gonna be a reason he was like don't go in the garage I think he was just a hoarder he was an old man and He's like you never know and I'll need that stuff again do you hoard it all is there any like specific thing you're like I don't know if I can get rid of this yay old clothes same yeah I have a shirt like old t-shirts around Mike I might want to wear that again one day I'm never wearing that again but I have

a separate drawer of shirts that I might wear again one day oh I'm not gonna wear I have so many outfits at home that I'm like there will Come a time where I'm gonna need to wear this and I'll do it with a mail from like the bank anything that has to do with my finances I can't get around mine either find a hair of my this almost I just carry going through this I'm already broke so yes absolutely amazing how little we know about each other cause like when I look at you just from

an outsider's perspective I'm like oh he's killing it he's on TV he's doing stand-up on the road like he must have Hundreds of thousands of it oh god no I'm like I'm I'm not broke but I'm not comfortable like I'm not like terrified that I don't have rent for December coming up but I'm like I don't know what I'm doing for March right yeah I'm at the point it's it's what I don't have steady income same so I have yeah I have like twelve thousand dollars in my bank account so it's not I'm not like

holy [ __ ] how am I gonna pay next month's rent yeah but I definitely am NOT like I Could just chill for the next year I'm exactly yeah I'm the same way and the TV stuff I have done doesn't pay [ __ ] and even the stand-up gigs you know like feature life is it's fun it's glamorous are you know headlining I'm just now starting to headline yeah I'm gonna be in New York this coming weekend be headlining out there and I'm having Charlotte and then Dayton since that so I'm finally starting to do

that yeah for the past five six years has just been Featuring and you get to go on the road these cool people and like you're doing a dream come true shows but then when a is like I got super lucky with opening for Dane man like the taking a private jet to places and stuff oh yeah mazes big I've never even been in a limo before so like an average never no clue what it looks like I'll be in my 29th birthday I had a Hummer limo pick me and my friends up from right here

that's got to see seeds pizza and Corona so I mixed a little luxury with a little trash that's beautiful it was a trashy limo - it was like an old trashy Hummer limo there was like pieces of the ceiling missing I know that going in how much was it was expensive I probably paid 500 bucks just to go to Cici's Pizza yeah my birthday yeah it was like I consider it my birthday party yeah for the 16 people on em oh right and it was actually it was a great birthday I would say there was

a little bit of unexpected Traffic so I was expecting it to be about 40 minutes each way 45 minutes it's a little over an hour each way least you get to enjoy it was slightly too long it was like if it was if everybody was good it was a great birthday was your birthday September 22nd oh but this was Oh I'm 13 I just turned 30 so it's 13 a year ago how old are you I just turned 24 it's so cool dude it feels so weird you started comedy when you were like 15 or

I have Teen yeah it's yeah that's nine years in April I started when I was 22 which still still crazy Young is like pretty young yeah or I mean it's yeah I'd say it's on the on average probably on the younger side I remember being 22 and go man I wish I started when I was 18 I wish I'd started when I was like 13 yeah I would have made a difference probably not know anything I think I would have been less ready for the opportunities that I did get right there's plenty of There's plenty

in my early career that I'm like I really thought I was ready for it like when I did wild and out I'll just refer wild out two years before I actually got really I [ __ ] tank so the audition more than once yeah so they did like I think it was four or five seasons in the beginning like with the original cast like dra and Katt Williams Kevin are all those people music for five seasons and they took a two or three year break and when they They rebooted the whole thing I was in

Atlanta and they're holding auditions down there and they were doing it at my manager at the Times Club so of course I got an audition for it and Nick actually knew who I was because I used to do a really hacky bit about how terrible he was yeah used to do a bit bashing him and you got to be on each other yeah yeah dude yeah stand by the jokes um see I went up and I was like I know 17 at the time and yeah I Got a card like I was not right now

so nervous I'm so young and I really thought I was ready who knows I mean two years comes around and I audition again and I'm getting it I was like I would not have been this I was 19 yeah I just turned 19 and even then I wasn't quite as ready but you know it's also one of those things I'm not saying you were you weren't ready I don't know I didn't I don't follow your comedy well enough to know how good you were when you were 17 But it's like you never feel ready Juno's

from now you're gonna be like that 24 I wasn't ready yeah you're gonna look back and and yeah you go I take my audition and you probably did but it's also like everyone has bed sets forever I think that set yesterday I think it's just weird that you have to it kinda just have to be prepared because you don't know when that opportunity is gonna court like if you could go back in time what made you do you think now like Not ready when you're 17 you need your material wasn't good enough were you too

nervous like what was wasn't quite you weren't confident no like I was still like scared to commit to stuff I don't think I truly believed I was like funny yet I think I was like okay this is a really cool job that I'm starting to do and like maybe this would be a career and all these exciting things about siddharta Ohio Columbus Columbus oh yeah and then I I moved to Atlanta for like Three months to perform at my manager The Times Club like the summer between my junior and senior year what club the Atlantic

ah no no sorry sorry uptown comedy corner okay it's in Atlanta and it's like notoriously like the most ghetto urban crowd like in the country mykola it really was when you were in Columbus it was it like a urban scene or yes and no this is a college town right yes there's mostly just like white kids uh parts of it yes the campus Area yes downtown yes but this isn't there's some parts to it that definitely aren't great it's pretty crime-ridden City it's just it just looks nicer so I started in Columbus has a funny

bone there and from there it's it's it's really weird from there other comics started to ask me to do their independent shows or whatever it was always black people because like I I heard of you I don't remember when I heard of you I Guess I'm you moved when did you move to LA what year 2013 yeah so right when you moved to LA everyone's talking like oh there's that how old were you at the time like seventeen year old kid is performing at the Laugh Factory all the time so people kind of like that's

what I first heard like oh there was there's a 17 year old who get spots that laughing oh that's why everybody's just like that's what you everyone's known for something if you're not I'm like you Got to be known for something there any TV credits yeah so just oh the guy that's the guy who's 17 has been at the laughing what even that came from like it was chocolate sundaes first before I get to like the actual a factory spot for whatever reason I've just come to find black comedians are way more generous with opportunities

yeah white people maybe it's like you try and get in on the white shows it's like get in line Dude there's the other white guys but if you do get in line at the black shows they're like okay you want four white guys trying to do this here so how many times you've been a part of like a booking process for a show and they're like what we gotta get a black person we have to get a girl whatever like that's the diversity in the show yeah easy diversity and like I'll actually be decent so

I say was that like it what that wasn't a conscious choice I was Just kind of where you were getting love in the beginning and you found a place there and so you're like yeah I can do that all of my friends since like since kindergarten have been black so it's for whatever reason it was extremely comfortable it wasn't like a transition or anything like that it was just like these are the people I'm usually around anyway so I mean I'm glad they like my sense of humor and luckily I've been able to like to

transition over to Pretty much half black half white audience gives yeah the last thing I what it was I mean I know every comedian wants to just be a comedian yo no comedian black or white or Asian wants to go I want to just perform for Asian people even though a stick is what really kind of blows you up like Joe boys like marketed that Filipino audience reaction with the Italians Ali Wong for the Asians like you corner that [ __ ] marquee yes yeah business-wise It's probably a good decision and you know Gary Owen

yeah of course he's cornered the white dude you have an all black crowds but that's not what I wanted well that's I was gonna ask you I was like do you think you'll be like a Gary Owen type ten years from now or I don't think so cuz Hollywood doesn't really [ __ ] with that yeah like I it's [ __ ] up of a yeah they don't they don't look on urban comedy as gently as mainstream white Comedians or whatever so I'm right I don't think I think it'd be dumb for me to try

to corner myself like that I mean if it happens inevitably that's fine I'll take my fanbase which wants to laugh and have a good time all that's my audience gladly but I mean I'd like to appeal to any and everybody if I can do you have a specific like demographic for your comedy that usually go for I would say I also would like to appeal to everyone but I'm a little edgy so I Definitely don't appeal toward sensitive people or worst college students like worst young women basically are not my audience for the most part

I would say I mean there's no that's the weird thing yeah I would say dirtbags like me mmm ice tonight imma grab or at least what would look like dirtbag I think they're nice people like that's like stand-up comedy fan no it's like a little bit of scummy people who are like a little [ __ ] up since the here or it's funny Yeah so I would say yeah people who wear flannels like I'm in that demographic and in that age range and I hate colleges I know the money's great there oh yeah I'd rather

make four hundred dollars at a comedy club than a thousand dollars at a college I just I know I'm gonna have them yes they people with baseball hats beards those are my people worried that you'll like you'll accidentally like start to sound like any other people you open for I don't Worry about that too much and the reason is I don't enjoy comedy anymore really so I barely watch comedy why is that I think I'm just around it too much and I'm too obsessed with it at this point my life it's too much of a

my life to wear when I watch it I can't enjoy it as a fan anymore I could very hard occasionally refuel it someone I like or occasion I'll just be you know what I'm gonna go in the room watch for half-hour mm-hmm but that's Rare yes animation for comics so if ever someone says to me oh this person does a joke just like yours I go well I couldn't take it from them because I've never seen them yeah and that's not why I do it but that's just that's not why I don't watch comedy but

that's just one of the perks is if I ever take someone's joke it's parallel thinking because yeah I've never seen that yeah I'm the same way if I hear someone do a similar premise of one of my on my I don't want To do it then yeah someone sent us that clip whatever unlike a premise of mine sense um where's yours all my all scrap again yeah we don't want a gun joke yeah I don't anymore I see I I mean I'll do the same thing especially if someone's like more successful and I see them

doing an on joke I'm like well it's theirs now there's a hierarchy but I am not good at writing new stuff it's my biggest week's economy I have jokes on the road I've been doing for three years The same way yeah but there's like there is a structure to it where it's like how long are you supposed to save up jokes for like say your first hour especially you don't mean that I can't be an hour of like your most recent in that year materialized Rogan or whatever alia it's like no not that I'm not

that type of writer either though like but you know like Neal Brennan can sit down in a desk every day for three hours and just write new Material it's yeah it has to happen in my life I'm usually joking around friends and yeah that will spark something about write I write I can write about this yeah yeah yeah same here and maybe that's just me being lazy I've been busy or maybe down the road it'll change but that's right that's just where I'm at right right ooh tell myself it's life experiences because like with us

with us being so young yourself Included still it's like we haven't been through as much as people who you know I've been doing comedy 20 years and are just now doing their second or third special you know is so much time to get good and see stuff and find to material yeah I find myself having more mature when I go out and doing a new experience if I'm traveling not for comedy or I'm going doing something do you still feel like the young guy when you're around yes and no Yes because I am yeah like

I don't think I'm like the on on the scene here in LA a jack night I think it's like maybe one year older than me I think there's like Jack night Ali makovski Hello Dolly say 25 26 right no I think she's younger I think she I think she I don't remember but she's your age probably 23 24 I do but I've just been around I mean you still are a young person yeah but I mean I mean talking even because now there's new people who are starting at there's New 18 year old story yeah

20 rose but overall when you're around when you're on the show on a lineup you still go on the young guy or do you feel like I'm kind of seasoned I've been doing this now internally uh I love egos the right word but mint mentally I kind of feel like I belong in the lineup at this point so I'll be doing in nine years this spring I'm having good sets I'm gearing up to do my special soon like things feel right but when I am looking At people who like Joe I did a show last

night the other night with Joey Diaz Nick Swartz and Bobby Lee like it's all these people who I [ __ ] love there Stan yeah ten years yeah and compared to them I'm like oh I'm fine nobody I shouldn't be on the show they I don't deserve to be on the show with these people right so I mean yes yes and no but it would be turning 24 I kind of feel like this is like the last year that anyone will even be like I this kid You know who's this kid comic I feel like

it's 25 people are like what do you have to say right then you're young and then you're a young man yeah now it's like you're an adult no more like sympathy laughs so like give the kid a chance like right working adult now yeah and I think I mean you don't look like you're like Jack - oh thanks man sorry dude like I'd say I started working out like three years ago like I am like a super skinny person like it's So hard for me to like add any kind of weight whatsoever so I have

to work out like every day I have to be eating a lot all the time I got like two days without working out I'm super skinny like I just lose everything and that's play by about three years ago but now it's like it's routine like I if I go a day or two I just feel not great so two days you feel guilty yeah I really do why do a lot of Hotel gems on the road unfortunately yeah the worst dude you Were like two dumbbells or whatever when you're in town LA Fitness and boxing

and would you do you prefer LA Fitness to a hotel gym oh absolutely for me I like working out in like private really so if I go to 24-hour fitness or LA Fitness I don't like it not that I clearly don't work out that much but when I do work out I want it to be by myself and no one watching do you find yourself like can you get motivated by yourself though um I mean I definitely can get motivated Better if I had a trainer some when I was working out with but I don't

get motivated by just random people around me working out that doesn't stay in me that's not motivates yeah that's exactly what does it for me I'm okay I'm in the place where everyone else is doing the same thing I'm supposed to be doing like do it you do what everybody else is doing in this place right yeah there's probably lower rest periods yeah cuz you like I don't wanna be the guy on my Phone and everybody's being like this [ __ ] guy on this phone night when working out yeah yeah a lot of judgment

I'm fueled by it rather than intimidated but was there an initial thing that made you start working out with it hanging around people that worked out why were you like I'm gonna get jacked because I have a lot of free time what was your uh at first this was probably about four years ago I started like dabble in a little bit was when Dane and I actually Started to become closer friends he works out yeah he works out a lot so he would invite me to come like work out with him one morning I was

just at the time jumping at the opportunity just to hang out right so I was like I'll go with you and that started have fun a little bit and then I moved in next door to my best friend and he's like a really big Fitness guy or whatever so he was doing workouts to his house and stuff and tried to start to get me into it and Then once probably probably a good nine months into it I was like I feel wrong not doing it now right yeah you started to feel better about my body

and myself and career-wise like if that's now I want to transition over to acting it at some point and like those are the kind of roles I'd like to go for it says like might as well some action yeah I love that I wanted to my favorite kind of movie yeah dude that's your number one type a girl you'd want the action like Dramatic action yeah I love it like comedy I tell people it's fun and like we you already do that you know I could do a comedy film I'd just be myself but I

think it'd be really fun to step out of a comfort zone and really reach for something it's not innately you yeah that would be pretty cool so I'm just trying to I'm just trying to take all the steps possible for like we said like when that opportunity comes I don't want To get an audition tomorrow we need somebody it was 180 enjoy your acting resume to where there you're like yeah but I will work out for it they're like well exactly it's like no you're not exactly and then hopefully you can act yeah yeah that's

pretty cool what would be would you write an action movie or you just want to be in one do you write scripts no I do I do my friend and I are actually about to shoot our pilot our self-funded self produced Self directed pilot comedy Milan it's uh it's a little bit of everything it's a dramedy I guess you kill anyone in it um yes but in a funny way it's not like a badass [ __ ] anyone in it yes nice yeah it's it's raunchy is [ __ ] but I'm not like all I'd

say half of our meetings the first half we were just we're taking a script to people and we couldn't figure out why people weren't really getting it and then we finally met down with the OSM it sat down with a producer Friend of mine whatever and he and he really liked it he was like I loved it I was like well why are all these people not really kidding he was like because it looks like a [ __ ] amateur wrote this my friend and I have we've never taken a script writing class ever I

have no idea how to format things we like basically wrote it like a [ __ ] novel they were writing like every different action in detail well you got to get like a working writer to at least go Through before you at least do the supporting you can still write it your way and then give it to someone who knows what people like yeah and I'm not good that's so intricate to go dialogue by dialogue by dialogue yes it's really hard I'm not good at writing for myself it was alone like making up this entire

scenario sometimes easier when you're doing it with the writing partner that helps and it's got to be a project you're passionate about it you have to Have a full vision so no one bit and you're like well let's just shoot it then yeah and then since we've decided to do that on our own we've put together an amazing team we've got a great director a great producer and hopefully I mean hopefully fingers crossed it's looking like it's probably gonna go to our production company our production company has a first-look deal with them so that's great

assuming everything turns out well once we start literally Doing it like so it's not on your own anymore no I'm when I say on my own I mean like there's no network directly attached to it there's not like doesn't it's not like Miramax's some [ __ ] attached to its independent production company they do well they do a lot of really big deals but like they're not well-known it's just very intricate small you're not change for I'm a no we're about we're all reaching out or reaching out to Other investors but again I'm looking at

as I'm like I have to do that that's usually a Network's job right his job yeah yeah if we start to piece all this all this stuff together that's pretty exciting it's kind of fun too you learn a lot you know how to do it again well this project we've been working on it for like we filmed a sizzle for it it'll be two years ago in March and it didn't turn out anything the way any way that we wanted it to so I feel like a Normal person would've just been like our [ __

] like a scrap it but this isn't gonna work well but we've just stuck with it for two years and in hindsight kind of like wild mountain stuff we're like oh we weren't ready two years ago we needed this time to piece all this stuff together cuz when I finally brought it to the guy we found to direct it he was like really funny script I get it I love it he's like what we Need to do is shoot us is or like well here's the thing we shot two years ago he was at like

this this is great like now you gotta do a you know an episode arc I was like here yeah we have everything oh my god it's like usually is somebody to be the glue to push it forward yeah it's all we've needed and Hollywood unfortunately doesn't have much of an imagination anymore this want to reboot everything so it right especially hard don't want straight White guys there's a lot of no I guess they don't want a guy who take a chance on a guy either they race out of it they don't want like oh yeah

we'll give you your first pilot they want no you want to go oh you've had two pilots okay we'll give you another one you have a million followers cool you're already famous cool ways put your shoulder and soak up your viewers like it's its son yeah you just got to do it though and you're doing it I mean I'm trying man I'm not I'm not happy but I'm what are you what are you into besides enter the show business world and working out of bigan like the outdoors and just sports and junior camping yeah do

I love camping I went up to Yosemite for my birthday for uh we went Labor Day weekend who'd you go it was like just three guy friends Polly liya you know Paul and I went up there with him a couple other friends and we'll do these Times a year no chicks dude just go up there Brokeback Mountain style shrooms no dude okay this is such a fun conversation I love acid it's like my favorite thing okay and I had a bad trip in February for the first time self cost Oh what caused it I don't

I can't say too much so here I I mixed stuff throughout the entire party okay and when the party was winding down around like well I thought you meant like self cause like a mental state well no Leading up to that okay so when in the end of the night came and like I starting to feel a little bit tired party's over they laid on the couch and I take nyquil and I'm already on acid take nyquil and they I forget that take the nyquil my friends like do you want a smoke and I was

like oh that helps me sleep I was like cool so I did that and everyone can react and then my brain thought oh [ __ ] what if you took too much and that sent me into a panic Attack why they literally thought I was gonna die if my friend wasn't next to me I would have been the guy who called 9-1-1 and spent the rest of my as a trip in the hospital my god so then I tried to do it again in June not enough recovery time from a panic attack by the way

and that one I I caused myself because all I kept thinking was don't have a panic attack again don't have a panic attack again and the moment you think that you give yourself a panic Attack so I have done one hallucinogenics is since then and but I eventually I will I think it's I think it's an amazing experience right this one time I was in Australia huh and an audience member handed me a tab of acid and I was like [ __ ] it I'm in Australia I didn't take it right then in there what

it's tiny right yeah it's just a tiny little crazy smaller than your fingernail it's like $10 but if viewers at home so cheap you can get it anywhere And sheep yeah I've since then ordered it on the dark web of you really yeah dark black have you experimented with the doctor no I don't know anything about this [ __ ] because it's like Amazon but for illegal [ __ ] do you just google the dark web no I mean you can google the dark web but you don't go to the dark web through Chrome or

Safari yeah you have to download a separate program to access the dark web really you have to find the URL for that Program to go to it so it makes a little hidden but you and you could only buy stuff with cryptocurrency so area man Bitcoin stuff like that so there's a step see they make it a little difficult to get of course I don't actually sell everyone to do it and they was like not a craziest thing you think you could buy oh no could you buy like a body part yeah you could buy

a new series by a child you could buy it you can buy a person with guns you could buy credit Cards you could buy fake passports you could buy anything wow that's amazing yeah it's crazy but the cool thing is it's also like crime 2.0 in the sense that there's reviews on everything it's like Amazon so you can literally look up type in acid there'll be a hundred people selling acid and you can say okay 700 people have bought acid from this guy they've all left them five-star reviews he says exactly what's how he made

the acid he has pictures you know You're getting the best clothes it's to me I feel safer buying drugs on the dark web then I do from a drug dealer in Los Angeles because he just wants to sell it and he doesn't like so if I were to get acid right now in Los Angeles I'd hit up my friend who does acid right Oh more than me yeah anybody can you get me some acid and he'd be like yeah and he gets it from his guy no one really knows to so many people by the

time to give his gives it to me he could all he can tell Me is this good acid you know like that's like but I don't know where that acids from has he done it mate hopefully yeah on the dark web okay 700 people have done it they've all left comments saying it's good there's a picture of exactly what I'm getting and the exact chemicals he put into it and how he did it so it's actually safer than getting drugs Austria in that same same thing goes for any other drugs you want to buy so

if you wanted to buy mushrooms or Cocaine or anything like that it's safer do I have so much to do when I get home yeah that's amazing and it's cheaper you really yeah cheaper because again there's all that competition so it's it's at market price mhm and you could get whatever quantity you want blows my mind there's something that is like a 12-hour drug in like [ __ ] you up is $10 you know 30 bucks oh yeah so someone handed me the acid and I'll show ya like [ __ ] it first time in

Australia make This a memorable experience I'll do acid first time so I do it but at this point it's midnight when I'm taking oh no yeah I did it with one other dude who I was friends with and we were with a group of people right and it was fun for like two hours I was like cool acid trippy mm-hm they never at 2:00 in the morning hits everyone's like oh I'm going to bed no worse now I'm in my bed in Australia and it's 2:00 in the morning and I'm not having a bad trip

because I'm like you know I didn't like lose control of my mind I'm still me mm-hmm so I'm thinking like okay this is chill but I'd like to go to sleep now yeah I can't because I'm not a champion acid you really can't sleep for like probably a good 17 or 18 hours after you take ass right so I like force myself to close my eyes and try to sleep but I didn't sleep uh-huh and then I just woke up I'm still like kinda on acid and I have to like go to the airport do

your day my day just Wasn't like I'm having a bad trip it was just like okay I wish this didn't last for 12 hours yeah I'd say the FIR it was a five or six hour drug it'd be perfect but usually about five or six hours in you're like okay I'm tired I'd really like to not be high now but mass it's like that you got a strong four more hours and then you could kind of be like okay like it's starting to lighten up a little bit yeah I think it's an amazing experience like

I for me At least like it opened me up more like I'm I guess spiritually or whatever you start you just have to look at things a little bit differently a little bit deeper I think it's I think it's nice it's a little bit awakening yeah yeah I would recommend everyone if you're listening out there if you want some advice it's do acid do it once please do it once I'd say even twice - I laughter Thank You time you're like okay I did it and you're not just do it we Have with more open

mind oh yeah and I with the longest time before like I didn't really have any like huge like hallucinations like of like you know like the plants coming to life or whatever right they show you on TV like it's it's never anything like that right last when I took it when I was uh when I was trying after the UH after the panic attack it was like the strongest I've ever had I actually chickened out my friends all took it and I you know you Supposed to leave it on your tongue whatever let it dissolve

whatever and after like usually takes about five minutes that is all like two minutes I took my piece out cuz I panicked I went I don't think I want to do this or at least I don't want to do it as strong as like the whole thing so I took it out and I don't have all of it already absorbed or what is probably most [ __ ] up I've ever been like yeah if you have that thing in your mouth for two minutes You didn't oh dude we were at this air B&B in Joshua

Tree and oh that's a blast all this like Mexican throwing dog country like paintings and stuff or whatever and that [ __ ] was moving so much it was but then there was bad no as I forced myself into a panic attack but in the whole time mm-hmm it was great for the first like two hours yeah I was great I was awesome mazing I'm laying outside in the hammock it's full moon outside in Joshua Tree so you see all The stars and I'm just laying on the hammock and I had one thought of she's

really nice I'm glad I'm not having a panic attack I mean boom I was like oh [ __ ] in life have you ever had a panic attack not like a drug panic attack I just have a regular dude it is like we don't see anything you can't have never you know I've never had a you know like a coffee stir like that tiny little [ __ ] yeah imagine running expressing a mile right Like I'm happy breathing and you could only breathe through that do you feel you're gonna die a hundred percent it's this

most scared I've ever been in my entire life and because the first time I was on acid so like that shit's already super overpowered sure would you rather have a panic attack or get your heart broken severely heartbroken how do person you'd rather have heart broccoli that is like what do I do this is like I'm dying to knits now like what what's gonna happen like I was I I had a moment where I thought I was like I wish I could die I give if somebody if I had a gun in my hand when

I was having a bad percent just because I was like I'm so miserable right now with your in physical pain yeah it's like it's so hard to describe but the perfect way to describe it because I never have a simply uncomfortable where just like I Don't like anything that's happening right now it's it's awful I want anybody to yeah that's what made me be like I sense just that time in Joshua Tree and I caused my again so I was like wait yeah way along yeah at least a year at least until I forget what

a panic attack feels like maybe the acid was too strong or did everyone else have a good time everyone else had a great time okay so it wasn't the assets but I also know it's definitely just I think it's a mark You hit doing drugs after a certain while yes I I mean I also smoke weed too which I just started to do over the past like two years and my friend actually poisoned us earlier this year what yeah dude what do you mean okay do you know like what disel it is so a friend

of ours works at a dispensary so he's always giving us like so much random free [ __ ] this is like I'm plugging a bunch of this for any like pot nerds out there but it's like a kind of go wax Right okay and you can like you can use smoke it you can like you put on food for like it I get a bowl type thing and so my friend gave my other friend this little jar of just slip and he's making chicken strips it's cooking this house is this little type of weed yeah

it's it's like that's like really you know it's like the purest form of THC guys okay it's like really really good soil and my friends making chicken strips and he makes probably um 24 chicken strips About it about this big and he's like making a lot you want some it's like yeah sure might have something put a little bit us on there so we'll get a look a little edible ha I was like fantastic I'm so in and he's putting about got a pinky nails worth on I'll only eat chicken tender how many chicks rise

to three we had about 12 each oh my god it's such a small amount and it looks it looks innocent yeah they um like how could eat any less than s what I even feel anything and we get done eating it I'm just like dude I feel horrible and he's like ya feel awful yeah i black out again can't see anything and I'm like trying to find my way over to the bathroom I throw up for the first time in probably 10 years only barf everywhere and I eventually just pass out on the couch but

it was again miserable feeling I don't like edibles I don't to the tables but this kind of rules do I yes My way to talk to our friend after we're like what the [ __ ] I just don't like I need the tiniest dose I feel like every time I take edibles I feel like I'm allergic uh-huh and I that same thing happens not I never like a panic attack where I can't breathe but I'm always just like this is not we this is a real drug really I could but you know how much are

you taking though because that's the so just like a really Strong hash brownie and I'll eat it I don't do a brownie dude you gotta go to like the shops specifically and you get like the pre-made little individual things do that you don't need to do more than ten milligrams that's the problem I always like you know cuz again it's so innocent so you'll get like a chocolate barn well you'd have the chocolate bar but that's like fifty milrays please do it and then all of a sudden you're in a car accident exactly just Like

this is a to intensive enjoyment you've got to know how much you're doing well you wake up the next day and you take a [ __ ] your [ __ ] smells like weed you know like that was too strong I hate too much weed you should hold like yeah I'm friend told us like two days after he was like you're supposed to use a thumbnail for the entire meal like all of it right so like basically the whole batter you should do a little microphone yeah you had 12 of those 12 of those yes

It was like yeah luckily you can't die from weed but it's the closest I wish thank you I wished for death so badly yeah you just can't die but you could make it so you have a terrible night you know like what you're really drunk and you lay down and your bed you're like you're spinning like your ears are ringing you're like I just want to fall asleep you just make me pass out that's literally what it felt like just miserable I hate this and now it'll get To a point where it's like oh if

I start to get just a little bit more high than I would like I'll start to all mo I can freak myself out again being Leia as long do don't don't do it again but luckily I've kind of I've watched a couple documentaries on it and stuff like that and I've really just kind of learned to just like I'll think of like Woodstock right right you know what you can do is try and like gain what little Control of your mind you can be like this is all gonna go away yeah you're good it's gonna

be good I think of like the 70s like Woodstock is [ __ ] I would like people were [ __ ] up out of their mind in but at the same time they probably were on other [ __ ] but from weed I don't think they could get edibles like they can now ah that's very true that's a pot brownie you'd be like chill yeah you eat a whole pot brownie and you're like [ __ ] I just [ __ ] my Whole entire 24 hours yeah I don't know which would have been stronger though

the back family I didn't really know too much about like portioning and the certain specific [ __ ] to put in it and it maybe it was stronger than or no yeah you think it's strong now there's literally scientists saying how can I make the strongest edible known to mankind back then there was no one doing that it was just some people in labs and shops going this will [ __ ] your life up And back then there's no back then they're just like this is good we see I always meet people whenever they they

said I don't like edibles they always share a story of like yes I'm gonna gave me a whole cookie and I just I ate the whole thing I'm like yeah dude you probably took like 10 times more than you yeah and that's why when I hear stories like someone said their class the thing of cookies as a prank we prank or they spiked the punch with weed punch I was something like that's [ __ ] up that's not it's not it sounds fun but you've never had too much weed it's [ __ ] up miserable

miserable day I'm a should be arrested I have a friend of mine from Chicago he flew in this was last year and he's a big like what draw are we doing it I forgot he just [ __ ] go with it ain't never done acid before never been to LA before either and we went out to the West Hollywood to visit my roommate at the time he worked up a B So I was like I'll take you to go see him at work when I'm also like you should see I'll gate this place is it's

it's a base yes yeah B's like whether you're gay or straight when someone's from out of town you're like if you never been the Abbi it'll blow your mind you gotta see this like it's it's amazing if we get in there and I lose him it's you better than a bee it's packed all the time yeah just sweaty dick everywhere yeah and I lose And he lut and he left his phone in my apartment so like I have no way of contacting him right I leave and I meet this person at the bar I'm like

hey have you seen my friend looks like this she goes oh I saw him leave and I was like maybe he's gonna head back to my house to play as safe like maybe he can't remember my address or at least landmark to drop him off near so I go back home not there right I don't hear or see for my friend for an entire night and then The next day I get a call from an unknown number is him being a ham at this address or whatever right and he tells me but his entire night

and he went home and he turned gay yeah yeah he plucked like eight dudes no he saw he went to like he started the app and then he did leave not around the time that the girl said so she must been talking about somebody else he was like no I kept looking for you forever but it's like the masses took over it I was just Kind of like lost so you went from the Abbey then he went to Warwick which I mean like good luck being a dude getting in Warwick by yourself right and so

of Abbey Warwick then he went to one house in the hills I mean I went to another house in the hills and all from strangers yeah sounds like a cool guy by the way like you have no idea if you're cool and sociable that [ __ ] doesn't happen man I get social anxiety if I go to a club and I lose my Friend I am going and finding a computer to borrow and messaging you on Facebook and I save you back in your place I always think it's weird wherever people find out that you're

a comic they're always like oh it seems like love being center of attention I was like no I not almost ever yeah I'm seeing on stage all the time I want that I moved schools a lot in high school in like I'd how come I just [ __ ] up family stuff like I lived with My parents I lived like Ram I lived my grandpa didn't go on with your parents no not really my family's super fun I went to military school did you really like hated my family that's why you went are you volunteered

to go it was like a mutual thing I wanted to go to boarding school and my parents were like we're not gonna send you so cool place so a fun place we could go be a bad kid if you want to leave you can go to military school and I said fine was it like super Strict so strict 6:00 in the morning Ron shave your head once a week are you serious shine your shoes and your brass and make your bed and do you think it's a good thing that you went yeah I mean it

was a it's kind of I think the same I mean I always compared to the military which is which is stupid because isn't it's obviously not the same as actual military but for a 13 year old kid I feel like it was structurally for your Day it's not as intense but I mean for I was 13 so to me it was as intense in my opinion so like when you talk to any military veteran they have this bond with other military veterans and they feel like they've been through something yeah and it kind of you

leave that you leave going I just went through that hardcore when did you stop going to military school I went for my first two years high school really and you back with your parents regular school yeah I Came back and I was like working all summer and hooking up with my first girl really so I wasn't home all the time so my parents are like you've really changed you've behaved it a lot would you want to go to back to public high school and I just wanted to keep hooking up with this girl of course

so I was like yeah I do then of course that didn't that ended like two days later just ducking regular high school way but with just great Cardio yeah I was that was like the best shape of my life but it also made me weird that makes sense how so because it was so strict in such an unusual environment and you had I had a shaved head and like I you're whenever you walk outside you had to look straight ahead and you weren't allowed to talk and you had to march around so when I was

at when I went back to public school first off I was a when as a junior and so everyone already had their friend groups Right so it's already it's already that's already a hard environment to go into but I was also this weird kid from military school yeah so just kind of a loner I've had a few friends I knew from middle school before I went away but I wasn't making many new friends and I was just I don't know weird when I but I moved schools each time living with somebody different I would move

in at the beginning of the school year and when you move it as a New kid in a big school at the beginning of school year you're invisible everybody's excited to see their friends right like they're not paying attention they didn't even notice anybody new so like I know pretty much most of us go out eating lunch by myself doing group projects by my self lie I mean I didn't mind it so much because I mean at least I was in control that I knew what the [ __ ] was gonna happen but like yes

super antisocial I Was like I'd rather say but you're also doing a stand-up at the same time yeah right yeah but I mean I wasn't like I'm at a new school it'll be a nose near whatever like I would be terrified high school and you tell someone you're a stand-up comedian I mean that you would know better than me would they think like if you told a seventeen year old kid I do stand-up do they think that's cool or do they it's probably not that quick Picks on a ton for it yeah like cuz I

also played football and baseball stuff like the end sports so like you know those like the very jock type so whatever so like I'm hanging out with them but I'm still like the quiet type or whatever then they find out I'm doing stand-up and they're like you don't say anything funny I'm like oh yeah save all of it cuz y'all [ __ ] we hear like I know you guys won't even like me like why would I waste a joke on you yeah so I mean it I'm still young enough that I could like scrap

comedy and like just start a new career and probably you are yeah 24 I'm basically fresh you could go back you didn't go to college though huh which is a good decision yeah I think unless you want to be a job that literally requires that degree mm-hmm College is a waste of money I completely agree do I it's just so fun you talk about sensitive people are earlier like the Internet reaches all The time when my friends back in Ohio graduated college I wrote some tweet of whatever been like Congrats like my best friends were

graduating college like I'm a bla bla bla bla enjoy student loans debt for the rest of your life you [ __ ] idiots or whatever was the tweet is a joke clearly about my best rims and some [ __ ] [ __ ] who are just like you know not everybody gets to live the life that they dream and doesn't have to go to school and Work for all this blah blah blah blah blah I'm like hey they're my friends I'm obviously congratulating in them and somebody literally went Wow my friends like you own them

I was like what is happening right now I can't even engage you can't you could post any video any joke anything doesn't matter how good the joke is how often you've done on the road kills someone the Internet's gonna go that's a bad joke Yeah and it's offensive yeah I like well I've been doing it for two years and it's done great 99% of the time yeah and it's a white person I'd say 99.9% that's I'm getting offended yes yeah or some just some liberal [ __ ] really dude I even though I have like

a pretty good internet presence and I'm following I hate it so much I would delete it all in a heartbeat if I could I just uh I kind of blocked negativity if someone if someone I mean I don't get as much I Mean I'm not that you get hate but I don't have as many people commenting on my [ __ ] but the few if someone comments something negative on my YouTube or Instagram I just walked interesting that's all I do I don't I don't respond to it I just go I mean I usually usually

don't respond I've responded I've gone through phases Oh time for shirk is just I'm incredibly confrontational as I'm sure you know like I can't stand someone talking [ __ ] to me nothing doesn't even What they're saying but you can not like me by the way but like at least [ __ ] say it to my face like don't talk so much [ __ ] from Milwaukee what I mean like that kind of [ __ ] knows me I mean I bring this up almost every podcasters to internet trolls but it's like if you wouldn't

say that to someone in person don't say it online yeah if you would say in person your joke sucks and it's offensive fine say I can't believe you and I can accept it yeah yeah but you do That no of course not it's it drives me and say it's I think I think the Internet is one of the worst things to happen to humanity have you ever had someone in real life come up to you and saying said I hate your comedy you suck or something I've only had it one time and it was such

a funny occurrence I was at the comedy House in Columbia South Carolina also probably top five ghetto urban rooms in a camping world and so it's like this Ghetto like 400 personality and it's this great show but I'm crushing I'm thinking I was playing like 19 the time and there's only one white couple in the very front row sitting dead center only white people the entire room and I like this white trash hillbilly types and there's not laughing whatever everybody enjoying it and I'm selling merch of stuff after the shows or whatever a nineteen-year with

a t-shirt [ __ ] balls and I got to make money and people Were so good black people love you they love you like they really support that's all I mean I don't do a whole lot of black shows but the ones that I have I've had the I think the best out of my life was at an all-black show and I think one of the worst sets was also a dude this really much I'm selling shirts in like all these black people were taking pictures and thereby emerged where thing it's just a great show

great energy and this white couple comes right Up and they go you were terrible you were not funny at all I don't and all these black people were like why the [ __ ] are you talking to him like that yeah he was clearly like I just bought a shirt from somebody was not funny like that's just so rude like they just like what much more warming about it kind of like shut them up for me but I guess the only time someone has ever so did you engage more we were like oh I know

they're just like not funny and you know Like okay have a good night it was such obvious like you're wrong right like I might at least there's that yeah cuz I've had most of I've had a couple times I think people have done it to me three or four times a couple of times I had good set sounds like okay well the audience laughs a year yeah shut up but one time I just bombed horrendously and then and then that's when you feel even worse cuz then they say it to you and you go there

right what they say When you bomb I had I I had like the worst set I was I was brand new to comedy I think I was doing a lesson year and I was doing 20 minutes which I didn't have five minutes yeah but someone offered me the gig and I was like I'm doing it it's gonna be a great learning experience so I go I do it I planned on spacing out the five to ten minutes I didn't have I did it all up top because I was bombing with that with my good stuff

so I bombed had I planned On spacing it out now I had 10 more minutes and all my good stuff I'm done so it's just got work it was just horrible right crickets and then after the show I like when I bomb I don't know how you are when when I or even not even just bomb when I have a set that I'm not happy with I don't want to see anyone from the audience the same way I would try to sell anything if I didn't love my yes so I'm like in the back this

was not at a comedy club though so I was Just kind of away from everyone in the opposite side of the venue and this old lady made it a point to come up to me know what she walked over to me and she goes you were the comic right I thought she was gonna say something like nice like I thought you were funny or so let this get you down that's something like keep it up you know firing and she goes I come here every week and you this was the worst she goes you were

the worst comedian I've ever seen oh my god yeah We were just like you're gonna die so so like you don't have to see my dog drink very exciting that night he's serious I barely drink like I just I don't like to taste alcohol I don't that's brutal dude see I feel like I was lucky enough to kind of skip that in the beginning because like the first nine years is just now so I've always kind of had that like I don't wanna you could call it a crutch of being a kid I've never been

booed I think yeah I was like 22 I was There's a little bit of like and give him a [ __ ] chance you know what I mean like nobody yeah for the most kit most the time right right yeah I mean I've set since I don't think I've ever been booed what that stage I think silence is worse than a boo though oh yeah it's like when I first started I said I'd rather get booed then silence and I still I still mean that yeah absolutely I've been had hundreds of silent says Yeah we're

just like alright I hope you like this next thing okay so is there anything in your life I'm 30 years old and I have a lot of wisdom to teach you is there anything in your life that you need help on hmm how do you this could be relationships it can be anything it could be anything family problems I could fix it I could fix your whole life right now if you're ready to open up what would be just your advice right this is gonna be so deep You ready for this oh [ __ ]

yeah okay I'm ready what advice would you give for just not wanting to give up cuz like it with the you actually thinking about give you I think about probably every other week I'm like I don't want to [ __ ] do this would you actually quit I can't imagine you quitting I we don't know each other that well but like you're in too deep at this point I would be shocked if I saw you a year From now and you're like yeah man I'm working for my dad's company and me I gave it a

good shot funny enough I think the only thing I could do is literally like the military or something where it's like it's so [ __ ] far from what I was doing with no one would ever know me I imagine running into it from here and going yeah I joined the army I just I mean really me neither it's just like there's so many weird attributes about this Industry and like my kind of part in it because obviously with being with the young person or whatever you always have or at least I've always had people

being like if you're not a millionaire by 25 you [ __ ] up like you aren't as we spot you're white you're decent looking like you're a nice guy you're talented like you got everything going for it you should be [ __ ] here well you're still 24 one year to do it all right and then I'm [ __ ] it I'm Getting ever I would meet people who gave themself like a time frame mmm if I don't make it by this point I'm quitting yeah I never gave myself that not probably shut up maybe

you should not but so I've been doing eight years thirty years old don't have a whole lot but that's like you have to remember why you are you doing it to be rich because if you're doing it to be rich it's like comedy is not a good way to get rich you could mmm it happens but there's wait I Feel like there's easier ways to get rich I fantasize where I was like if I just quit comedy and worked really hard full-time at a some sort of job I'd be miserable but I was like I'd

make way more money comedy isn't a same thing with with girls I hear some people going oh yeah I do comedy it's a great way to meet girls I'm like it's not really the best way to meet girls no it happens people all the time well I'll bet you get so much [ __ ] on the road I'm like The road isn't come isn't like hot single girls night out yeah always couples so anytime like you know who gets you know is good for getting girls in comedy daliyah his wall yeah Julia but but I

mean like the average comedian who's like oh I I do comedy to get girls or uses it is ugly guys oh yeah because you could get a bunch of like gross mm-hmm but just by billing all you do comedy you do funny stuff yeah you could Get girl the girls you don't want or at least the ones that mean you don't want you get doing comedy of course yeah anyways I think if you're if you're contemplating quitting it's not a serious part it's just like and I really don't want to do this if you're down

you just have to remind yourself while you're doing it and you're doing because you like to make people laugh and create things release a piece of content mm-hmm and just make yourself like feel like You're putting out work out into the world and then another thing you could do is go pick someone who's doing way worse than you mm-hmm and just you know go look at their that's hilarious guy I actually had a moment like that I think it was Sunday night The Comedy Store Jon Campanelli and Esther they do a show there all right

and they need somebody to host huh and he was like sorry man's last minute he's like you're only doing like 10 minutes upfront and You got to stay the whole show in or do see through it don't do any in-between not paid it was like I really need somebody who can open the show well and I was like I'm not doing anything aw yeah and I'm standing backstage about halfway through the show I'm tired I want to go home I already did my [ __ ] like an hour ago or I'm gonna just saying names

in between right and I'm backstage and I'm just like I gotta go home and I was like That's so [ __ ] rude of me I've been here it'll be seven years in January and when I moved here I would have killed any kind of spot it's like it still II put me in a good mood to be like no I'm I'm doing okay it's fine I have my own expectations and everything but I feel like I can't be you can't be too content anyways yeah that's a that's a good thing to tell yourself is

would I be happy with myself if if 17 year old me was looking at 24-year old me would they Be stoked yeah I think you would be yeah but your goals changed that's the thing it's like when I first started coming I was like if I made $40,000 a year doing comedy like who cares you're living the dream yeah but then you move to LA and that's not that's a much much but but Matt's on TV why am I not on TV oh but that person was doing that why am I not do you like

it's in it's so hard not to think like that alright cuz I mean your ego gets involved you can go on better Than this person or get really deep I deserve this I'm the perfect person for this but you have no control you just take a step you gotta step back and go everything's good you can't look at a single person who you want to be like and recreate that process it's not gonna happen for you and it sucks to realize that because you everybody has that dream of like I'm gonna do comedy for like

five years let me get a special I'm gonna get my Own TV show I'm gonna movies I'm this this this this and then you see somebody else do it it's you're like it's so possible it doesn't happen for you and you start to sit self-doubt and be like [ __ ] should I even be doing this if this is all just like a [ __ ] dream am I am I only kidding myself by pursuing this it's it gets it gets dark sometimes another thing is you know you're allowed to you are allowed to do

other things yeah I still have to just do comedy I'm Not saying like give up on comedy I'm saying you're allowed to paint a picture if you want you're going to learn how to play the guitar very true you're allowed to just keep yourself busy and you've been like a plan B like day job wise I don't have a plan B but I would I would take other like if someone offered me a job right now like hey we don't want we don't think you're right to play this role but you could direct it I

mean I would do it but no but not as far as Like you wouldn't go work like a nine-to-five I say I wouldn't but you know if I couldn't pay my rent like I was drugged I at the Comedy Store for a long time and I don't want to work there I don't like it's a job yeah but if I you know could literally was out of money and needed to pay my bills I I would rather do that then sleep on someone's couch do move act up do you feel like this is like what

you're supposed to be doing I don't believe in That whole like you hear some people were they're like what comedy is the only thing I can do I'm like I don't know I don't believe that that's just like something you're telling yourself yeah I think I could do there's a lot of things that I could choose to do and that I think I would like to do blood comedy is something that I love and want to do so have like weird instances where I'm not a religious person at all like like I'm Asking as about

as the spiritual as I'll get so I have no idea that kind of stuff or life I believe in fate or anything like that but there is a weird common trend in it especially just since being in LA of seven years we all have usually once a year it happens where it's like I'll have a really [ __ ] good year just what everything is going my way and then everything [ __ ] drops and you're doing nothing right and I'm like I've lost all my money I've just ran through It bills doing some fun

stuff you have to enjoy the money a little right people also got the thing a little a little bit it's finding that blow all your exactly so I'll get to these points where I'm like I literally don't know what I'm gonna do for next month's right it does happen like last December I had no plans at all for 2019 didn't have a single gig lined up and I had maybe $600 my bank account like I applied for my contractor's license I was about to Start doing construction on the side while I was here like I

was so [ __ ] in every single time that has happened while I've been here any time other like applied for a job I'm like I've gotta buckle down something has show that gets me just enough to the next gig yeah or with this year ended up being Dane taking me on a tour I got just out of nowhere I was like oh my god and I'm all of a sudden super-busy pretty cool it's super cool but it's like it's one of Those things where it's like as soon as you get down on yourself as

like well guess that was it I had my run and maybe maybe just isn't supposed to be it something happens to be enough stay in it it's a nice feeling yeah yeah yeah it's good and it's I I have skills to fall back on to like a [ __ ] glue yeah I was gonna say pod-like podcasting has been has done a lot for me because I'll be broke and then someone will be like hey Ari do you want to will you help me Start a podcast I'll pay you this much money really and I'll

be like yeah I'll do that and then that usually you know like like me and I open for I met Santino from opening forum in Arizona or actually no I met him from working at the Comedy Store but like I opened for him once in Arizona from winning some comedy contest really and we just stand up live it was a house of kinda big big pie and Comedy Festival all I did that last year so I did that festival you know I go out there I losing six hundred dollars to do it I don't pay

like the worst hotel yeah they put you in like a dorm base like a yeah a hostel uh-huh and you know you spent money to get there and you're spending money on food and I think I even bought a hook my own hotel room because I'm like I'm not sure actors but I'm like I I did it because I like Flagstaff and the people who are on the festival were Super nice yeah go go do shows whatever who cares mmm and then I didn't even know they were doing this but they did like the best

of fest thing okay and I was in a fight I brought my girlfriend with me there at the time mm-hmm and we got in a big fight so we're leaving the festival we're in a fight I'm leaving I take off right after my show and they call me and they go hey uh we can't find you anywhere but we just did like the best efest Awards and you got it but You're not here and I'm like oh really okay cool what's that mean they're like so just pick a weekend at the house of comedy and

you can come feature something like Santino's weekend so I was like I know Santino a little bit from working at the store like he knows who I am and I like his comedy and I like him so I picked him so I come to the weekend with him and we play golf together and we just huh get along great and then he just learned that weekend That I knew how podcasting says and when he started his podcast I helped him start that nice and you know just like his little - friendship weird how that happens

but I think you lead to another yeah so enough people now know about this garage space - where whenever if someone's starting a podcast if they're in my circle of friends they're like go to Ari all right get up so it's like I have things that unique skills that other Comedians don't have and that's kind of keeps me afloat I think that's good man good for you dude it's something I'd rather just be you know just be doing stand-up be doing stand-up but I wish it'd work like that anymore like you have to be doing

[ __ ] everything yeah and even the people who can just do stand-up still do podcasting I will be as soon as I'm famous I will be deleting everything I can't wait to just do the stuff like Just do stand-up just do acting just create not have to [ __ ] read the drama online and please a million different platforms okay last question you have been doing stand-up nine years mhm start at age 15 you've auditioned you've done a lot of thing a lot of cool things that people would dream of mmm you already said

you told me about the how you didn't get what's the show go loud now you didn't get wild now it was on 17 but what of all the things like What has been your biggest disappointment or biggest thing where you're like oh I wish I could go redo that or I wish I didn't do that one gig is there anything they were you're like man it wasn't like a specific [ __ ] I think it's overall I just wish I knew what people didn't like about me just oh you'd end up wise I wish I

knew what I could fix cuz like there hasn't my specific instance that I wish I could have done that better but it's a anytime Anytime I approach like Comedy Central or something like that any other showcase or whatever they always interest every time pass not interested not it's just not interested I wish I knew what was going on people's minds that makes them that makes them not want to give an opportunity I think that's that's probably an unhealthy mindset to have because dreamily hey I'm suffering it's like it's like you just have to remember this

towns [ __ ] mmm-hmm if They don't if someone doesn't like you industry wise it's probably not that they didn't like you they just don't want to take a chance or they like someone else better yeah you aren't right for that fairly party times is yeah someone going [ __ ] Matt right like that's not happening yes it is if that is happening it's like it's subjective yeah you're polarizing maybe someone's some people are gonna like you some people aren't the old ones you go on a Dave Chappelle video on YouTube ten comments saying Dave

Chappelle sucks that's the trick very very I think Dave Chappelle sucks what's wrong with you but I think the only thing and this might actually better answer your question the only thing I think I've done in my career that on my handled it that way cuz this would give someone they pressured up the life that I wouldn't be a nice guy whatever is when I was hosting TRL out of out of New York I've never hosted TRL dude yeah like a CNN of TRL you hosted yeah no that was they rebooted it like two years

ago - okay TV yeah okay cuz this is exactly why it never panned out so they call me I've been doing a bunch of MTV [ __ ] with wild announced mother [ __ ] and so they were rebooting TRL and they called me on a Friday and they're like hey this is this deal we want to give you but I was like I know about TRL I don't want to be a host I'm okay thank You though let's focus on something else they're like no it's gonna be you in DC young fly you know

that is mmm I've heard him he's uh he's a an Instagram comedian Karen um he's in a while now as well I got a couple of movies whatever anyways so they're like it's gonna be you two hosting your own show and I was like well we had good chemistry on wild now could be fun but I was like I really want to do a lot more acting stuff and like my type of comment they're like oh It's gonna be cool it's gonna be it's gonna be hosting the show we have some great special guests you

guys gonna do like your own sketches we're gonna let you guys do your comedy it's gonna be your guys's thing and I was like I don't know no like well here's a stupid amount of money like a holding deal and all this cool [ __ ] and I was like well can you just like let me get back to you in like a week and they're like no we need you here Monday and I was like you need me to move to New York tomorrow basically and they're like yeah we're gonna get you out of

part meant everything we all pay for all of it it's in the middle of Times Square I'm living like in the building they're like the big ball drops in that building a walked if I come every day and I get there it's immediately a lie there's two other hosts his two female hosts so they were great nothing wrong with them just yeah We've been like it was already like what the [ __ ] is happening you mean DC young fly was there he was a host as well but it was so awesome yes there's four

hooks and a couple correspondents and stuff like that we never had any cool guests that we only had like YouTube kids and vine kids cuz Viacom swears that so people want to watch they don't right and I remember one of the days I like it's it's like those big windows and the Vikon building Yeah and it's like it's it's like daylight saving time so it's dark early what we're filming these two vine kids like jello wrestling and sumo suits in a pool right and I'm wearing our referees ders with a whistle and we cut the

commercial and I look over like laser rot it's lime okay yeah Total Request Live man that's right I catch a reflection of myself in the mirror standing next to this [ __ ] jello pit with these two guys sumo Wrestling and me and this Jersey and I went I hate this this isn't what I want to do for my life at all and the show was it was a disaster it wasn't funny it wasn't informative it wasn't like there was no point to it no music videos nothing it's like every day I was waking up

at 7 a.m. to go to set to read a script that was beyond unfunny that I'm like I'm a comedian I can't be saying this stuff yeah this makes me look horrible it may be like what do you Want to say I'm like will see this and like well you can't say that and I'm like then why am I here and also why am I not getting paid for a writers credit if I have to write my own [ __ ] yeah yeah and it was just I probably seem like a diva 100% but I

was just like this is [ __ ] horrible I was in a relationship it in I quit okay it was a miserable experience you have to cancel your contract did you quit at the end of the season so I got Super lucky actually so word on the set had kind of gotten out that I was thinking about leaving like I was miserable I was in a terrible relationship I missed my friends I missed the workout wanted to be doing and I just I was hating my job I was first time I realized money didn't buy

happiness because I was making more money than my parents had ever dreamed of yeah and and I worried I got not that I was gonna quit so we go on a hiatus For like two weeks while I reset the quarters or whatever and they call like three days before I was lets go back to New York they're like hey we know you're not happy here so we think it would be best if we let you go for creative purposes and I was like thank God perfect cuz then they terminated their contract for the next quarter

so I got paid for the next three months and didn't have to go do the show she was you know amazing for me yes and I think the beauty of the show got cancelled three weeks after by the way I didn't even get rid of difference yeah and they didn't even finish the quarter so they got the show got canceled and they started keep paying me and it's on MTV so no one saw it nobody to that I would come back here on the weekends isn't my girlfriend and I pop into comedy clubs and stuff

what are you doing you know we're happy I'm doing this let's let's all like exactly Nobody's yeah it didn't help at all it's just a check yes but that was the money from that's probably my biggest regret I wish I would have handled it nicer and a little bit more professional than being like this is [ __ ] stupid why am i doing it it was wrong so you okay so you wish you were just like more professional and then maybe I just told your agent and our manager yeah get me out of it rather

than being like who wrote this [ __ ] and let in having the Writer be like I wrote him like this is [ __ ] horrible like that was not I mean it is horrible you should be ashamed like I shouldn't be saying this I would never do that again despite the job I can't even imagine you doing that you're a pretty nice guy I'm super nice but it was like I said everything about everything about it was bad my personal life was bad the job was bad yeah I just what about living in New

York was that cool would you move back to New York I Like it better I really like New York I definitely love LA way more and it was like it was one seven it was a 7:00 a.m. to about 7 p.m. job every single day and but and it was so stressful out you being live i'm constant to think of new [ __ ] do on the show by the time I got done every day I didn't I had no energy to go out and do stand-up and stuff right I had no time to go

do auditions so it was like I was missing out on any of the fun part about in New York yeah It was Lee just my apartment by compartment apartment it's a really nice apartment and it's pretty cool that was that was the good part about it and making like 15 grand a week was like what yeah but they're too good to be true yeah what I buy a van a van I really want to get a custom camper van and living I got bolts like a Volkswagen no I want to get like a Mercedes Sprinter

van oh man pretty big van let's turn it into A little tiny house and I want to get on a white Sprinter van like those no one goes oh my god and I want to sleep there every night have you seen like those like Mountaineer like those like hardcore like climbers like the vans they live as well that's what you want but it's like just another I feel like some clothes and a bed have a little bed a little sink kitchen sink and an outdoor shower like I want a Big water tube attached to the

roof so a little faucet you really pop this out oh yeah I sleep the band videos everything it's such a weird it's like here's what it is it's just complete and utter freedom because if you own the van yeah let's say I want it nice I want like fifty thousand dollar van so I spend 50 grand on this fan and after that all I need money for is food and gas it's true this is a rent literally it keeping it up I could live off $500 a month there's No job that I would ever take

after that I didn't want to actually do do you you want to host this show nope no thank you no thank you is it gonna pay the 13 dollars I need for this month yeah that's it but do you wonder about like I can't bring [ __ ] back to your van yeah it is you can't you can't how you find the cool one no there's nothing new or this no cool girls do not go to the am you meet a girl you like her and she goes oh so Tell me about yourself and that's

just you make it party you make it cool you go well van I live in a Mercedes Sprinter van and it's awesome it's my it's my dream and I'm doing it but like when is it like hate worship at and then they're curious well you have a you think that they're the bathroom live a bathroom and yeah a couple and the bathroom where there isn't that cool Fuzzy's that that's actually the first thing that's ever made me second-guess Can't really go to the bathroom in privacy dude it's getting all truck stops in porta potties forever

no you do have bathrooms like if I had a if it was a girlfriend mm-hmm but I could I could handle her painting in front of me or whatever but where is she peeing oh there's a little compost toilet but here's if it's like a first what I'm thinking is what made me second-guess it this little compost toilet like it's so like duh what you said that made me Second-guess it is you get let's say I get a girl it's our first night together no one wants to pee in front of each other like yeah

first me to Chang so that's where it would get weird it's but like good I might have to get a have to convert change my plans of the van and now install a little bathroom and some of them have bathrooms today actually was a it was like a it was a football thing where like the Oregon Ducks have like a Pop-up toilet it's like a pop-up port-a-potty but that's like a full-on bus that those guys are in right no it's literally like it's it's no bigger than this table really it's it lays completely flat and

you kick a thing with your foot and it just yeah and then there's like a little toilet on the inside yeah you get a fan yeah I hate that I'm making it on my bed just wrap that [ __ ] to the top I guess I don't do you ever girlfriend now No single thing oh I just it's weird I've had no interest in part of the past month and hanging out with any girls it's weird yeah who was your last girlfriend girl named Tina she said why did you guys break up we broke up

in guess early August I'd say what's your well yes wait you don't meet girls that shows that often what's the best how'd you meet Tina Instagram of course it all goes down worse yeah dude I live in there that's pretty cool It's she was a great girl - she was she was 38 38 she's 38 yeah do she was 23 uh yeah 23 and she was great I don't [ __ ] judge me van I'm actually judging her her and and by the way I would definitely like hook up yeah I'm 30 I would definitely

hook up with a 38 year old one yeah but like full-on relationship dude I know it's not gonna work out those the only girls I can date though cuz your girls are just like 13 bits but Only in LA really the younger girls I feel like especially the hot ones obviously they just want to be at the club every night I'm gonna figure out what celebrity's house they can go back to afterwards they're all about like the LA scene and I despise him if you married her are you not even thinking about that well that

was the thing about her though is she like that's the thing I like about older women their past all that Like they what about you are you thinking like what don't you want to get married one day or no yeah I really don't care okay got it thinking about her was she she her being 38 you know her biological clock is ticking you know like she only has so many years does she have a baby soon end of that clock and like she was a fantastic coach by the best girlfriend I've ever had like she

was just very supportive very sweet just a good person And I got to a point where it's something over like this summer just click run like I really just focused on my career and me and my friends like that so that's what really makes me happy that's what I want to do every day yeah and I was like not one to hang out with her and nothing I didn't love her to want to be with her but I was just like I'm not giving back what you're giving me and so to do the right thing

I was like I I want you to find somebody That you're gonna settle down with and I just I can't imagine myself being she'd find someone you know I mean I know she's hooked up with somebody after me but I don't think they're dating I I just told her I was like I I don't want to waste your time and I don't want you to waste my early 20s you know what I mean I don't wanna waste your last good years and my like my prime so we split and I mean we're fine I guess

I'm she wasn't Happy about it but what breakup ends [ __ ] perfect you know yeah not many of them did she block you on all social media of course okay dude I read the funniest mean the other day - it was like your ex blocks you as soon as you break up but she couldn't figure out a way to block her ex her ex's before you ever throughout the entire relationship that is funny it's like so weird on my block does do why you still suck - no it's not like that we're still friends

Sure enough block block block whatever I think it's best though to block each other out I do - oh well at least for a little while yeah I mean I think certain people could handle things differently mhm like certain people you meet and they're just like yep I realized it wasn't best and now we're just friends but I'm not like that if I have sex with you it's very hard for me to be take just going oh yeah let's just go get Coffee you for me it's if I loved you I think or love if

I loved you that I'm like how do I see you [ __ ] move on I don't know you don't want to see me with somebody else yeah I just I think I'm just not secure enough or not mature nah not me - dude yeah I don't do I don't do the whole friends with X thing yeah we're over we're over exactly well thanks for coming on the potty thank you for having me man this is a Great Sun my hands so clammy I'm sorry dude thank you for having me thanks for doing it horse

see you guys we're listening unlicensed on mice motorized unlicensed unlicensed unlicensed therapy with Arnaz [Music] [Music] [Music]