[Applause] welcome welcome one and all in here out there all around the world to The Late Show I'm your host Steven colar folks tonight tonight as I speak Los Angeles is being ravaged by sudden out-of-control wildfires especially in the neighborhoods of Malibu Altadena and Pacific Palisades thousands of people have been forced to evacuate and they don't know when they'll be able to return home now for an idea of the scale of this fire here's a photo a reporter took from a plane above Los Angeles 24 hours ago and since then wind gusts up to 100
miles an hour have spread the fire explosively and authorities do not know when they'll have it under control now we know people of Los Angeles are resourceful and kind and they're doing everything they can to help one another and we here want to send our love and concern to all of the residents of Los Angeles who are facing what is being described as the most destructive fire in the city's history and if if you follow this QR code right here if you want to help it'll take you to a list of some of the organizations
that you can help address the needs of the people affected by these fires thank you for doing that now other other parts of the country are dealing with a different kind of Crisis due to record cold just ask the good people here in New York yes the people in this audience they nearly they nearly got frostbite waiting to get in here where they can be even colder the southern states are being hit especially hard right now in Kentucky temperatures were in the teens which was colder than Anchorage Alaska wow someone should really check on Kentucky
Senator Mitch McConnell and oh no he's already Frozen just do something the Deep uh South a deep freeze is so bad even Texas is under a winter storm watch and just to stay warm Texans have been forced to huddle around a shirtless Glenn Powell speaking of natural disasters uh Donald Trump yesterday the president-elect got behind the podium at Mar Lago cranked up the crazy and then ripped off the knob for instance he was asked about pardoning the January 6th rioter and he came up with an unexpected new theory about who was responsible I guess 24
or 28 people came now from the FBI that came out very quietly nobody reported it but they had uh people in some form related to the FBI they had four or five people that were strongly related to the FBI we have to find out about that we have to find out about Hezbollah Hezbollah I'm sorry I'm sorry is he now saying that January 6 was done by Hezbollah January 6 was a day of Love on it was a day of love it was a day of peace that I have nothing to do with it was
it was Hezbollah who is also who is also the FBI the the be in FBI of course stands for bullah then it's been a while wow it's been a while I haven't had an impression in a couple of months and uh I think I pulled my soul Trump went on we have to find out about who exactly was in that whole thing because people that did some bad things were not prosecuted yeah I'm looking at one right now [Music] so the people who did January 6th are both misunderstood proud boys that you're pardoning and Hezbollah
that would explain the j6 choir's new Anthem God bless Andor death to America but but the part everybody's talking about uh today involves Trump's strange obsession with annexing Greenland we need Greenland for national security purposes I've been told that for a long time long before I even ran yeah before he even ran even even when he was a private citizen he was told that constantly and I'm I'm being told we have a clip a big and tasty for just a dollar how do you do it what's your secret you need to Annex Greenland for national
security purposes uhhuh uhhuh thank you uh-huh just to be clear one of the reasons the next four years are going to be a thick stew to choke down is that Annex and Greenland was the craziest idea he had four years ago and this time it's his first idea I got Deja cuckoo there's so many reasons this is insane one being it's crazy another being that Greenland already has a daddy and it's Denmark and they're not looking to sell here's the Danish Prime Minister yesterday Greenland is for the greenlandic people yes yes but also kind of
weird thing to say about the greenlanders since you took their land hey you can't steal that car it belongs to the guy I stole it from the prime minister is not alone because on Monday the Danish King Frederick I 10th changed the Royal coat of arms of Denmark as a rebuke to Trump here's the old one you see down the lower left hand corner that polar bear and the ram represent present Greenland and the Pharaoh Islands here's the new one where they are much more prominent you tell him Fred adjusting heraldic imagery is how his
majesty deals with all of his problems oh you're talking back to your dad as son that's it you're out of the seal say hello to my new son lion's head with severed hand we don't do many heral jokes here at the L show that's the first it might it might be it might be the last it's a rarity you are all collector's items now but it's not just the Danes Greenland's prime minister says he has no interest in Greenland becoming part of the United States okay cool I get it but I do want to point
out Greenland only has about 55 th000 people at that size you're really stretching the term prime minister manager I'll have you know I'm the prime minister of this TJ Maxx Trump's so serious that yesterday his son Don Junior paid a visit to Greenland and Junior was impressed looks like an incredible Place we've been talking about going for a while I was actually supposed to be here last spring for some of the stuff I do on my free time so coke he knows all that snow is just snow right and before Don Jr gets on his
high horse he's not so special I have also been to Greenland don't believe me then how else would I have gotten this travel mug with Greenland on it they don't sell these at LaGuardia baby do they sell these at LaGuardia no all right there you go yep I went to Greenland with the show in 2022 and then I left because it does not belong to me it's that simple Greenland is lovely especially if you enjoy Barren Landscapes of ice not a fan of ice there's also gravel and that's it so why does Trump want this
Frozen gravel pile well it might have oil and stuff like that but the whole world thinks Trump's crazy idea is crazy so Fox News defended it but that's not an easy thing to do as you'll see they're calling the president the president-elect bananas and crazy for coming up with this idea but by the way this is not the first time that America's tried to buy Greenland uh back in 1867 Democratic president Harry Truman tried to buy Greenland for $100 million yes President Harry Truman tried to buy Greenland in 1867 aere 20 years before he was
born and he's not the only one FDR also tried to buy Greenland in 2004 by sending his vice president the Eerie Canal a Democrat but luckily that deal was halted by President gask Khan two years before the Big Bang Trump's second term agenda isn't all annexing Greenland he also wants to Annex Canada AKA a left Greenland yesterday Trump posted two maps on social media one with the United States and Canada Together made of the American flag and another with them labeled United States that doesn't preserve any Canadian identity I would have gone with us e
you're welcome someone the king of glory the nationes G for up your who is you guys got to be here for rehearsal unlike Greenland Trump plans to acquire Canada peacefully are you also considering military force to Annex and acquire can no economic Force because Canada and the United States that would really be something you get rid of that artificially drawn line and you take a look at what that looks like they should be a state hey dummy all the lines on maps are artificially drawn you go to the Border there's not a big line up
there the coach doesn't come out with a chalk Mark you can't see it from space and we already have a Canada it's called Minnesota they're cold they're nice they love hockey and you can't can't understand a damn word they're saying and hot dish is just poutine for funerals Trump also knows who Canada would pick as their new leader I have so many great friends one of them is the great one Wayne Gretzky I said run for prime minister you'll win in a it'll take two seconds but he said well am I going to run for
a prime minister or a governor you tell me I said I said I don't know let's make it Governor I like it better Trump knows exactly one person from every country and it's always the most obvious person he wants Wayne Gretzky in charge of Canada Australia obviously should be run by Crocodile Dundee and Italy will we led by prime minister guy from the pizza box we got a great show for you tonight my guests are Alan and Diane Morgan when we come back meanwhile join us want you a [Applause] [Music] [Applause]
