My Childhood Treehouse Is Still Standing And Something Is Living In It

[Music] talk to niely the buzzing of my phone pulls me from a deep sleep one of those sleeps where you are in a whole other time and place your body nothing but a numb repository for an actively dreaming mind slowly like trying to climb up out of a grave I sever my mind from the dream and rise to Consciousness he's dead my sister says the second I answer the phone I don't Even have it all the way to my ear before she speaks so her words are echoes dreamlike in themselves what Tabby is that you

who's dead I ask trying to get myself to a place of awareness where I can function somewhat coherently what time is it time to deal with a whole bunch of bull says my sister Tabby or Tabitha as she prefers to be called now that she's making a killing at real estate all the way Across the country in Seattle he's got back taxes we have two weeks to clear out the house before it goes up for auction there's a lot going through my mind but the main thing swirling about is the same question I just asked

her back up you didn't answer my question who's dead I ask rubbing my eyes as I sit up in bed I go to reach over to my wife but reality slams me in the head and I remember she left 6 months ago packed up took the kids the dog our cats And the bank account she said if I want a divorce I can get off my lazy ass and fill out the paperwork otherwise she'll just keep enjoying the bank account and my health care benefits the other option is to go to Serious therapy and get

into a recovery program like Narcotics Anonymous or one of those things I told her it'd be a cold day in Hell before I spilled my deepest darkest secrets to a room full of losers and drug addicts there were a Few few more Choice words from her and then she was Gone with the brand new Land Rover the kids the dog the cats and most of my dignity of course [ __ ] her in the Land Rover she wrote off in Alan are you listening to me Tabby snaps huh yeah I'm listening I say and rub

my eyes again what was the dream I was having there's a bit hanging on at the back of my mind and I can't shake it oh you are she scoffs what what did I just say my sister scoffs a lot he's dead [ __ ] She snarls I said dad's dead and we have two weeks to clear out the house before the auction she snars a lot too what auction I asked wait dad's dead Jesus [ __ ] Christ Alan Tabby shouts this is why I called this is what I've been saying she takes a

deep breath and I can almost hear her counting to 20 in her mind it's it's a trick she's used when dealing with me since we were kids my sister doesn't really like me much she never has when I was born I ruined her Only child pretty princess dreams dad had a boy now the cute little girl can just go off to the corner and be cute now there's men's stuff to do tabby has no idea what my childhood was like she has no [ __ ] clue and for that matter neither do I most of

it is a huge blank a giant black mark crossed over memories that sort of linger somewhere deep down I remember key events like birthdays and holidays and feeding the chickens and stuff like that but the day-to-day Details not so much it's like my mind redacted my memories from myself a therapist I went to once said I had suppressed trauma an escort I frequented said I probably was molested by a family remember because it happens and she'd know my sister says I'm just a drug addict who refuses to own up to all my [ __ ]

funny enough my estranged wife says all three God damn it Alan pay attention Tabby shouts how much have you had of what of whatever it is you're on Just like her scoffing and snarling Tabby shouting at me is not an unusual thing so I don't take it personally I'm not on anything I say and for once it's true except for one beer last night when I went out for pizza sure whatever she snarls and sigh and scoffs and snorts and does her Tabby thing which is to sound as put out and annoyed as possible did

you hear what I said dad's dead and we have 2 weeks to clear the house out because of some Auction I say back taxes very good she replies and manages to only sigh no scoffing or snarling and what else did I say I don't [ __ ] know Tabby I reply and take a deep breath I pulled the phone away for a second to check the time it's 3:00 in the morning here I was dead asleep if that's what you want to call it she says what I said was I am in the middle of

a huge deal a huge deal Alan so huge that if I close this then me and my girls won't have to Worry about money for the rest of our lives you hear me [ __ ] I have something happening I'm like you I actually have a future so I cannot come out there and deal with this [ __ ] you need to go clean out the house and put stuff we want to keep in storage and toss the rest can you handle that what's the huge deal you're working on like I'm going to tell you

I want your junky ass nowhere near this do you hear me you stay out there in North Carolina and Deal with Dad I'll stay here and be successful it's a win-win how the [ __ ] is that a win-win I ask suddenly pissed most times I can let her abusive crap roll off me but the way she's hammering at me again and again makes me just want to reach through this [ __ ] phone and grab her by the throat so I can squeeze and squeeze until her eyes pop out of her head and her

skin turns purple and she oh my [ __ ] god aren't you Listening again Tabby shouts what I was saying is that it's a win-win because you are a [ __ ] loser with nothing but time on his hands and dad liked you best anyway you two had a connection a [ __ ] up connection since Dad was a bigger [ __ ] than even you but it was a connection dad hated me I say and slide my legs off the bed my neck is sore from sleeping so deeply in one position so I reach

up and rub it to work out the Kings you remember how he yelled at me all the time Dad yelled at everyone dumbass Tabby says and her voice softens a little just a little instead of cold hard steel it's now like Smooth brass still cold though I don't even think my sister has a warm setting he didn't yell at you I say and stand up feeling my age being 55 is no fun let me tell you try not to get old that's my advice he didn't yell at me because he didn't pay any attention to

me Tabby says and the Steel is back can you go clean out the house or not I need a yes or no right now I don't know Tabby I say and Shuffle out of my room and down the hall into the the den I have a few things in the works so I don't want to Jesus [ __ ] Christ Allan stop with the [ __ ] just [ __ ] stop you have nothing in the works unless the works you're talking about is your rig so you can shoot speed all day and night I'm

clean I say in a quiet voice not a weak voice it's a Quiet voice a voice my dad would get right before there's a memory there but I can't find it it'll probably surface in a dream at some point a deep dream I won't remember except for a sick feeling in my belly after waking up kind of like the feeling I have right now sure fine you're clean she says and I'd have to be brain dead not to hear the sarcasm can you do this or not Alan if not then I'll hire a crew and

they can go out and just toss all of it into a dumpster [ __ ] that I say we still have stuff there Tabby all of our childhood is boxed up somewhere in that house basement the thought of that door and those stairs and that dirt floor makes the feeling in my stomach get worse I got to go I say my gut's clenching I got to take a [ __ ] I'll call you back in the morning okay gross she says and hangs up I stare at the phone for a second dad's dead I live

in Raleigh North Carolina Down in the triangle as they call it the the big Acorn is another name too it's also the state capital there's a lot going on in Raleigh like the second largest law firm in the Southeast the first largest being in Atlanta currently despite being a senior partner I am on a sabatical full pay full benefits and full instructions to stay away from the firm and its clients until things get sorted out there may have been an incident with the client but we spent a Weekend holding up in the governor's suite at

the Umstead Resort snorting really good Coke and pretty much doing everything to each other to consenting adults can she was a wild cat I mean she scared even me and I've done some stuff of course her husband wasn't too happy we've already established that my wife wasn't on board either the husband was an even bigger client than his wife so he got the last to say I was to be fired and disbarred while he divorced the [ __ ] Out of the cheating [ __ ] those were his words divorce the [ __ ] out

of the cheating [ __ ] I think it's actually in the filing The Firm expressed to our client that firing me and divorcing his wife right away would more than certainly bring unwanted attention to the situation the client being fairly high up in the state government realized that a scandal was worse than catching his wife cheating with one of his lawyers so a year sabatical and then the Firm will decide my fate I've tried to fix things with my wife that's not happening but with my career I have a few allies who are pulling for

me I just have to stay clean which I have done other than beer beer doesn't count it's just liquid bread in a can I mean I probably get more alcohol from the mouthwash I use everything that has happened in the past few weeks rolls through my mind as I roll up Interstate 40 toward the mountains The High Country as it's called that's where my father's house is the house Tabby and I grew up in the house that sits on about 20 acres of usable Farmland if my dad ever used it which he didn't my dad

was a grifter which explains how I became a lawyer and my sister became a high-end real estate [ __ ] I mean success the old man could spot a mark across a crowded room and before the evening was over he'd extracted whatever he wanted from that Unlucky sucker I believe the last real job my dad had was in 1988 when he decided he'd open up a video rental shop close to one of the ski resorts he would have made a good go of it if it weren't for the fact you have to actually go to

the shop and open it each and every day in order to make it successful that kind of regularity wasn't my dad's thing after that he had one scheme after another all always eeking out enough to get by with maybe a Little leftover for some fun I shiver as I think of what my dad considered to be fun not that I really remember much of it mostly snapshots of him yelling at people him yelling at me and shovels I always associate shovels with my dad despite the fact he abored manual labor I don't even want to

know what the house looks like now so for the first time in about 20 years I drive up the winding gravel road that leads to the property and the house del lexus's tires handle The rough road just fine but I sure wish I had my Land Rover [ __ ] [ __ ] the Pines part and I see the house sitting there to me it's always looked like a sphinx just waiting for the poor soul who will try to pass without answering the riddle first the paint is chipped of course the windows sag like sad

eyes and the gutters are barely hanging on by a couple of screws the roof seems sound but I won't know until I step inside and as I pull up directly In front of the porch going inside just doesn't appeal to me I should Park grab my stuff and head in to check things out so I know whether or not I'm staying here or driving down the mountain a bit to get a room at the many tourist motels that litter the highways leading to the ski resorts and when I say Motel I mean Motel those are

are few and far between and are usually booked a season in advance no if I'm not staying here then I'll be staying in a room decorated Circa 1975 thinking of a nasty Motel makes me want to smoke so I use that as an excuse to not go inside can't stink the house up before auction now can I I get out of the Lexus stuff the keys in the back pocket of my jeans then lean in and grab the pack of cigarettes I bought when I stopped to get gas I quit when the kids were born

but now seems like a good time to start up again especially since all the really fun Substances are verboten according to my agreement with the firm one positive piss test and my sabatical is definitely permanent with the brand new lighter in hand I shake out a smoke place it to my lips and fire it up I draw deep into my lungs that old familiar Buzz begins at the back of my head then spread like warm butter through the rest of my body hello old friend I say to the smoke after exhaling then I look up

at the house and The front door nope definitely not ready to go in there with my cigarette pinched between the index and middle finger of my right hand I walk away from the Lexus away from the house and over to the crumbling Barn that I had spent hours in as a kid not doing normal barn and fun stuff now my dad had plans going at all times I was in there packing boxes with bottles of supplements that would cure obesity IBS allergies of all kinds and even cancer the cancer bottles were hard To keep in

stock our printer ran out of ink so often that my dad started buying it in huge bulk containers so he could refill the cartridges himself the pills were easy though we never ran out of those because no matter what was on the label what was in the pills was baby laxative and sawdust no joke I get to the barn and then pause or freeze my legs don't want to move another inch I don't blame them the barn was never fun and now that it's almost Sagged to the ground like a deflated bouncy house it looks

even less fun I flick Ash into the dead grass and turn the other direction my legs taking me around the house to the huge backyard filled with neglected fruit trees and a huge white oak that is as old as the mountains my breath catches in my throat as I take a huge drag on my cigarette when the breath lets go I have to bend over and hold my hands on my knees as my entire body is racked with Coughs when I finally get my [ __ ] together and spit a few times into the dirt

and grass I look up at the object of my shock it sits there in the crook of The Oak's two largest branches although calling them branches is not accurate each one is easily as thick as a single oak tree itself which makes them the perfect place to set a treehouse my eyes study the old structure it's warped and stained walls Made of heavyduty plywood that isn't so heavyduty anymore to cut out windows with no actual glass or any way to close them just 2x4s nailed in the frame and holes cut out of the plywood I

Circle the Oak and see the door to the Treehouse is slightly ajar with a pile of Dead Leaves keeping it from closing the roof is pitched and from what I can see is still intact I finish off my smoke as I study the Treehouse then drop the butt and grinded into the dirt my Eyes searching for the ladder which isn't there then a memory hits me like a ton of bricks and I actually take a step back from its weight I see my dad's face all red with rage only inches from mine as he screams

obscenities at me his finger pointing up at The Treehouse he's really laying into me and I know I'm crying and pleading for him to stop he laughs in that way that shows his rage even more and his finger sweeps away From The Treehouse and Jabs me over and over in my left shoulder somewhere I hear more crying crying that isn't me in my memory I try to look around for the crying but that is isn't part of it now the memory has me cowering before my dad as he rips me a new one my eyes

lock onto a bit of froth at the corner of his mouth and when he realizes I'm not listening to a word of what he's yelled at me the jabbing finger becomes an open palm and That Palm is slapping the [ __ ] out of me finally the crying stops and a screech halts my dad from connecting the last blow my head turns and I see a woman on the back porch a shotgun in her hand my mom she's yelling at my dad to back away from me and he's yelling at her to put the goddamn

shotgun down before she blows her own head off my mom does not put the shotgun down and instead steps off the back porch and comes straight at us the tone in my dad's voice changes And he starts trying to soothe my mom but she's not someone you soothe she gets closer and closer until my dad is forced to back off to step away from me but the memory gets weird and instead of her pointing the shotgun at my dad she's pointing it at me I can see the fear and hatred in her eyes as she

looks down the barrel at me Mom oh she's long gone Alan a voice from above says I Yelp and jump the memory banished as I spin around and try to find the source of the Voice who The [ __ ] is that I ask and focus on the Treehouse whoever is up there you better [ __ ] come out now or I'm calling the police police well we both know you won't be doing that the voice replies laughing the police are the last people you want poking around here isn't that right Alan the voice is

familiar and it claws at the back of my mind floating up for memories like the one i' just had I'm not going to tell you again whoever the [ __ ] you are get down from there and get off my property or you'll be in a world of hurt a world of hurt favorite phrase of my dad's laughter explodes from The Treehouse then I hear the distinct sound of a Zippo lighter being flicked open and set a blaze followed by the even more distinct sound of smacking lips and puffing lungs are you smoking a cigar

up there Havana's finest the voice replies it's male I know that husky raspy cocky There's a confidence in there backing up the words being spouted down at me you know what [ __ ] I don't need the [ __ ] police I can handle this myself oh I'm sure you can Alan the voice says between cigar Puffs and cocky laughter can't wait to see this I turned to the house and hurried to the back porch I'm at the back door and almost slam my nose in the Cloudy glass when I tried to open the door

and come up short it's locked fishing the keys out of my back pocket I Search for the one that I've had since I was nine and my parents gave it to me so I could let myself in after riding my bike home from school school which was a 5m trip one way not to sound like an old guy on a park bench telling Tales or anything but it was a pain in the ass I get the right key in the lock turn and shove the door open as it sticks in the top right corner of

the door frame how's it going Alan The Voice calls out to me from The Treehouse handling things yet When I'm inside my eyes take a second to adjust the mud room is exactly as it used to be thick and thin coats hang on the wall opposite the windows while the washer and dryer sit idle under those windows shelves of junk and tools line the walls that are not being used for hanging old flannels and torn parkas I get through the mud room and I'm in the kitchen it's even darker in here and I fumble around

for a light switch I find it flick it up And nothing happens of course nothing happens why would my Dad paid the power bill that'd be way too practical a thing to to do so I fish out my phone and switch on the flashlight the counters are neat and tidy but the sink is filled with a pile of dishes and pans my dad hated doing dishes so that was me and my sister's chore to be honest I'm surprised the place isn't more of a mess but I've only been in two rooms there's an entire house

to discover Still but the full going over we have to wait I'm handling something right now I cross the kitchen and yank open the broom closet hanging on the wall is an apron a mop two brooms a dust pan and above them all a Remington 12 gauge shotgun on the shelf above the shotgun is a row of boxes filled with shotgun shells I pulled the shotgun down snag a box of shells and hurry out of the closet then the kitchen then the mudro I rack six shells into the shotgun as I Stand on the porch

my eyes on the Treehouse you hear that [ __ ] I shout at the hug o that's the sound of me handling this oh no Alan Please Don't Shoot Me The Voice mocks in a high fall set up I'll come right out okay my hands will be up so don't accidentally squeeze that trigger like you did last time the way he says accidentally makes me think he doesn't mean it was an accident at all not that I have a clue as to what the hell he's talking about there was no Last time not that I

can remember hey [ __ ] I'm going to C five a shout you will be out of that Treehouse and leaveing my property by 4 or I will blow your [ __ ] ass off hey I already said I'm coming out the voice says then a shadow darkens the space between the frame and the door filling that crack like a living Shadow the pile of leaves is kicked out onto the small deck that Rings The Treehouse the door slowly and painfully is pushed open and I see the Source of the voice not the actual [

__ ] I mumble just before the world around me swims and goes dark good job handling things the giant squirrel shouts Sur its cigar as I pass out and collapse on the porch when I come to the shotgun is gone and the Sun is almost set I sit upright and Scoot backward on my hands and feet until my back hits the mud room door I reach up scrambling for the knob twist it shove the door open turn and crawl Inside kicking the door closed with my foot before I scramble up onto my feet and race

inside the kitchen when the door is closed and locked I rush over to the kitchen window above the sink and stare out at the Treehouse the door is a jar and the pile of leaves is gone having been kicked free and spread over the small deck that part happened whoever it was did come out and then no no no no I do not see a giant squirrel no there is no giant Squirrel standing on that deck smoking a cigar and smiling down at the house at the kitchen window at me I can't be seeing this

I can't then the giant squirrel that definitely isn't there gives me a wave pulls the cigar from its mouth and yells yo Allan you got any beers in there I could go for a cold bruski he blows on the tip of the cigar and gets the cherry red hot before putting it back in his mouth so he can puff puff puff away I slowly back away From the window and reach out blindly for one of the kitchen chairs when I find it I plop down but I choose poorly and the chair collapses under me sitting

in a pile of cracked wood I stare at the kitchen window the angle blocking my view of the Treehouse and of the giant cigar smoking squirrel who cannot be real I wait I listen but I don't hear anything else it was probably stress my mind playing tricks on me after coming back to this place I mean I was Having weird flashbacks right lost memories flooding into my head the second I stepped out of the Lexus maybe that quack therapist wasn't so far off or was it the escort anyway I might have some suppressed childhood trauma

suppressed trauma that is now manifesting as a hallucination of a giant cigar smoking squirrel who lives in my childhood Treehouse that's a thing right after sitting in the pile of broken chair for a good 15 minutes and I Don't hear any voice calling to me or mocking me I picked myself up brush myself off and take one slow step after another to the kitchen window when I get there all I see is an ancient Oak and a treehouse no squirrels of any size or shape around man I could really go for a bump right now

just a little something to take the edge off a quick snort to get it all sorted out in my head I shake the thought away and decide to do something that isn't quite the next Best thing but better than nothing beer run and food because if the power's off then whatever is left in the fridge is going to be nasty I'll pick up a small cooler and some ice too to keep things chilled well to keep the beer chilled food is going to be pizza and chips and whatever I don't have to refrigerate I tear

my eyes from The Treehouse and leave the kitchen walking into the rest of the house for the first time today but I ignore the familiar furniture and Stuff that clutters the place I'm focused on getting out front and into my car so I can go grab a six-pack well best to get a 12-pack and save a trip might even be better to get a full case and then not have to worry about tomorrow or the next day when I reach the front door I freeze when I see the coat rack a single coat hangs on

one of the hooks the side of its thick brown cotton making me swall follow hard dad's coat a coat I saw him wear so many times An image of shovels and dirt hits me like a freight train and I see my dad in this coat as he digs and digs and digs not now I say and shake the memory away Beer Run Focus alen beer and pizza beer and pizza and chips beer and pizza and chips and probably some water too I sigh and Pat my pockets I should write this down I say still patting

my pockets trying to find my phone [ __ ] I have a feeling I know where it is 100 to one I dropped it on the back porch I'll just Have to remember the list when I get to the store not like I need my phone to navigate I grew up around here and who's going to call me Tabby [ __ ] her and her big real estate deal that's too important to fly home and help me get things sorted my wife please she hasn't called me in well I can't remember when she called me

last my kids that thought stings my kids haven't called me in a while either I need to fix that and call them and hear their voices for a few Moments and try to feel like it all isn't spinning so far out of control that I can't hold on and I can't I stop and take a deep breath first things first beer and pizza and chips and whatever else Alan Alan Joseph is that really you I look up after setting the case of beer and assorted snacks and Munchies in a pile on the store counter a

grinning face shouted by A John Deer hat is staring at Me intently the face smiles and I see the yellow brown teeth which tells me the person is very familiar with my former buddy Mr crystal meth not that I preferred to hang out with Mr crystal meth very often he just came by when Senor cocaine couldn't make the party Ben the smiling face says Ben hul I must not have replied in the proper amount of time because before I can get my lips open he's shaking his head the John Deere hat slipping this way and

that on A head I can see is completely lacking any hair ah you don't remember me the smiling face and shaking head says that's cool man it's been a while now I remember you I say Ben hulc I tap the counter with my fingers and then Snap My Fingers Wide Receiver right I ask a not you caught that pass that almost won the game against Wataga High yeah and I would have had a touchdown if that [ __ ] hadn't blindsided me and caused me to Fumble Ben says his head shaking And getting a little

manic I think of that night almost every single day of my life I do not comment on the pitifulness of that statement well good seeing you Ben I say and look down at my groceries I should have just driven the extra miles into Boon and gone to the Lowe's where the haris Teeter but I was purposefully trying to avoid running into anyone I might have known from back in the day so much for that plan you looking to have a little party Ben says Finally getting the hint that I'm ready to complete this customer and

clerk exchange he reaches out and starts ringing up the items on the counter we got some chips and dips beef jerky corn nuts bag of rollos and a case of beer he looks up and stares me in the eye what's the occasion and why wasn't I invited he laughs like it's a joke but his eyes tell me he's somewhat serious what the [ __ ] I knew this guy like 40 years ago and we weren't exactly close friends Just hung out now and again to get stoned and drink some beers with a few others from

school my dad died and I'm cleaning out the house I say giving his stare back to him as good as he's giving it to me a twitch at the corner of his left eye gets my attention and I break the staring contest first he seems to like this result and his grin comes back in full force as he total everything up and shoves my snacks into a single stack basically crushing every single intact Chip into dust 5684 he says and shrugs before I can say anything I know I know prices of skyrocketed lately right his

math is [ __ ] but I don't argue sure have I say and fish 320s out of my wallet the wife has access to all of our credit card accounts and [ __ ] her if she's going to see what I buy so I just get cash from the ATM and let her Wonder Ben takes the 20s but I see his eyes Linger on my wallet and the thick wad of bills Still in there he moves the 20s to the cash register then counts out my change slowly I know what he's doing he's waiting for

me to tell him to keep the change but screw that tipping has gotten way out of hand these days thanks I say and stuff the change into my front pocket with my wallet I grab my snacks and beer and smile at him good seeing you Ben take care I'm at the door and suddenly remember I need a cooler and ice too but just as I start to turn he Calls out I hear you got yourself into a little spot of trouble in Raleigh I should just leave ignore the comment get in my Lexus and go

back to the house a house that definitely does not have a giant cigar smoking squirrel living in the treehouse out back [ __ ] the cooler and ice but if you haven't guessed smart choices aren't exactly my go-to so I turn and look at Ben giving him my scary lawyer face that what you heard I ask my tone blank nothing positive nothing Negative I don't try to fill my words with ice or Menace I just say them in a flat way that used to make the opposing Council nervous as [ __ ] in court could'

you hear that from Ben Twitches a little and I can see he's questioning whether or not he made a good choice by saying what he said then something in that meth addled mind clicks and he smiles and nods well who else he says in shrugs your dad of course my dad I should have thought of that right away I also should Have thought about the fact that this store would be the one my dad would have gone to the most since it's the closest plus he had as much reason to avoid Boon as I do

except his reasons were that he'd probably run into people he'd scammed or still owed money to I debate for a moment then realize that this guy is nothing to me yep had a bad run there I say [ __ ] happens sure does Ben says so sorry to hear things fell apart not sure I'd say it that way but thanks I repli Then hold up my bag of snacks well I should get going got to pick up a pizza before I head home yeah yeah sure Ben says don't be a stranger see you Ben I

reply and hurry out of the store into my car I don't dare make eye contact with a few folks parked at the pumps as they fill up their minivans and pickup trucks just in case I see someone else from the past [Music] when I get back to the house after Stopping at the next closest gas station for a styrofoam cooler and a bag of ice I realized I didn't pick up any light sources I should have snagged a couple of battery powered lanterns while I was out no power means a very dark dinner so after

I set the snacks the beer and the still hot pizza on the kitchen table I start to head out to the porch to look for my phone but I don't even make it to the mudro door my phone is sitting on the kitchen table and that's when I Noticed the distinct smell of smoke cigar smoke what the [ __ ] I grab up my phone and turn on the flashlight my hunt for Candles now has a little more urgency to it the kitchen provides two stubby [ __ ] that won't last an hour so I

have to broaden my search through the rest of the house with my phone's flashlight blazing the way I checked the drawers of the hutch in the dining room one candle lemon poppy seed scented whatever that means in the drawer in the Table in the hall I find a book of matches from Carla's Roadhouse which is a dive bar a couple miles away the living room is a nogo and the hall bathroom is the same my eyes land on the stairs and then I look up the bedrooms should have something when I get upstairs I'm confronted

by a large stain on the landing a dark stain a stain dad never did sand down and get rid of I shoved the memory aside and moved to the first bedroom Tabies there's nothing in it the room is completely empty but that's Tabby she probably came and got the stuff she wanted years ago and tossed the rest like she said she'd do to the whole house if I didn't come here the next room is mine my old bed sits in the corner and the dresser is a foot away from it posters of bands long since

broken up cover the walls the closet door is a jar and I think about checking in there but I know there aren't any Candles in this room I didn't spend enough time in here to need backup light if the power went out which makes me think of where I did spend my time where I am certain there is probably a box of candles sitting in the corner right now all covered in leaves I move to the window and look out at the Oak Tree in the treehouse and the light flickering inside the Treehouse fear grips

me and a back away from the window almost tripping over the edge of the old Circular rag rug that covers the hardwood floor I maintain my balance and rush out of my room out in the hall I take a few deep breaths then once I have my [ __ ] together I look at the door at the far end my parents' room or just my dad's room after my mom died I bet there are candles in that room except I'm not going anywhere near there right now I'll make do with what I have when I

reach the kitchen I go straight for the case of beer and tear It open clawing out a can that I pop and down in only a few seconds I belch loudly and grab beer 2 after finishing off beer 3 I take the rest and shove them into the ice in the cheap styrofoam cooler I then grab beer number four and settle my ass against the counter's edge to try to think for a second Jesus I haven't even made it one whole night in this place and it's messing with my head [ __ ] has gone

sideways fast and I'm only sort of hanging on on my eyes stray to The kitchen window but I restrained myself from going and looking to see if that light in the treehouse is actually there a ghost of a memory zooms through my head but I can't grasp it all I see is a shovel in my dad's angry face my eyes move from the window to the basement door there are probably candles down there I swallow hard nearly choking on the latest sip of beer and try to remember why I hate the basement so much part

of me knows it has to do with my Father the image of him and a shovel and all the yelling and spit flying from his lips onto my cheeks fills my head did that happen down in the basement is that where the memory was formed if so then no wonder the idea of going down there gives me the creeps on steroids you're a [ __ ] man now Alan I say to the empty kitchen and dear old dad is dead nothing down there can get you the lemon poppy seed candle flickers weakly against the kitchen's

Gloom I sigh I finished the beer and set the can aside then in one quick motion I cross the kitchen yank open the basement door and put a foot on the top step of course I have to fish out my phone because the single bulb above the stairs won't click on my phone's battery is down to 30% I'll need to charge it in the car soon with the miracle of modern technology Illuminating each step I descend into the basement and I'm shocked at what I see when the hell did Dad concrete over The dirt floor

that kind of Labor is very much unlike the old bastard maybe he hired someone who [ __ ] knows I tilt my head to the side and winse as a sharp pain shoots up my neck and around my skull to land right behind my eyes must be because of all the eye strain from the dim light that and I'm dead tired from driving and dealing with everything I've dealt with I try not to think of a giant cigar smoking squirrel because doing that would be nuts no pun Intended with the pain growing I do a

cursory search on the wood shelves for candles or lanterns or anything that will be stronger than the stupid lemon poppy seed candle but no luck there's barely anything down here some tools a few boxes of Christmas lights and moldy decorations a damp box filled with old tax returns that I know are bogus because everything with my dad was bogus why are you like this my dad screams at me and I jump and spin around searching For his enraged face of course there's no one down here with me just another memory or whatever out of luck

and hopefully not out of my mind I Ascend the stairs and sit down at the table to eat some cooling Pizza the chair doesn't break on me as I munch on pepperoni and black olive I tell myself I can get through the night with just the lemon poppy seed candle in the morning I'll go out to the barn and see what I can find out there I'm sure there's a lantern or something three more beers later and half the pie gone I get my ass up and carry the pizza box to the kitchen counter I've

got a good buzz and I'm slipping into a pizza coma so I forget that I don't want to look out the window unfortunately I do look out and see a giant cigar smoking squirrel leaning on the treeh House's deck railing he takes the cigar out of his mouth and gives me a nod then he turns and walks into the treehouse after A second the flickering light is blown out and it all goes dark I'm not insane I say to myself and leave the kitchen in a days my feet automatically taking me up the stairs and

into my old bedroom where I Collapse across my bed fully closed sandpaper and Ice piics that's how I've always described my hangovers sandpaper and Ice piics I drag myself out of my room and into the hallway bathroom where I strip down and go to turn on the water nothing [ __ ] no power No well pump no well pump no water [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] I threw my clothes back on and head downstairs I'm out the door into my Lexus when I hear tires crunching on the gravel driveway I stand

by my car as an old Chevy pickup rolls its way to a creaking stop and out steps Ben hul hey Alan Ben calls and waits Wes glad I caught you before you headed out Ben I asked what are you doing here it's a little early don't you think he [ __ ] his head and smiles it's noon Alan I Pull my phone from my pocket and realize it had died in the night with a quick glance into the Lexus I see the dashboard clock yep it's [ __ ] noon already um well time flies I

say and Pat the top of my car sorry but I have some errands to run got to go into Boon and see if I can buy a generator no point in getting the power turned back on since no one lives here and it's going up for auction soon Ben adds I lick my lips and frowned um yeah that too I say is there Something you wanted well to start I want to stop you from buying a generator when you already have a perfectly good one Ben says smiling wide his yellow brown teeth on full display

most Tweakers try to hide their dental decay not Ben looks like to him it's a badge of honor or something what do you mean I asked what generator Ben aims his chin at the barn your dad bought a brand new one when we concreted over that basement floor of yours he replies pretty sure There's a couple of full gas cans too should last you a few days before you need to refill here let me show you he's moving past me and headed straight for the barn before I can say anything let alone stop him you

haven't been in here yet he asks as he reaches the barn doors the guy moves fast faster than I would have guessed considering but then again some people keep a little of that past Glory inside them he probably could have played college ball if [ __ ] hadn't Happened I just got here yesterday I say hurrying to to catch up which does not help my hangover I also catch a whiff of myself as my body heats up I stink and had yourself a night of it smells like Ben says and flashes those yellow Browns at

me then he grabs the handle of one of the barn doors whoa I say and hold out a hand you're going to bring the whole thing down hardly Ben says with a laugh then shoves the door to the side have yourself a gander I stand there in shock Has Ben slides the other door open then walks into the barn of course my dad made it look like the barn was falling down inside there are braces everywhere keeping the sagging roof in check generator's right up there and Yep looks like two gas cans next to it

Ben says as my eyes move from the barn structure to all the equipment that fills the space what the [ __ ] is this I ask and follow him in inside are cement mixers stand behind lawnmowers tree trimmers pallet Jacks wood chippers and more stuff that I barely recognize Ben laughs and claps his hands together let's just say your dad was working the system that sounds like him I reply but what system rental returns he says he found a loophole or something and figured out how to keep stuff without getting dinged for theft or something

like that smart guy your dad I don't respect respond and just wander through the gear my mind having a hard time making sense of his angle then Ben fills me in I think he was going to sell it all to pay off the back taxes Ben says he said he wanted to leave you and your sister something and the house and land were all he had so much for that I say and think about how the whole place will be auctioned off in a couple of weeks what the [ __ ] do I do with

all this stuff funny you should ask Ben says and turns to me his eyes narrowed his mouth no longer smiling you see your dad and I we had ourselves a little Arrangement unfortunately he passed before he could hold up his end what arrangement what are you talking about I asked not liking the look on his face or the sound of his words you've been down to your basement yet I nod so you saw the new floor he says and rubs his hands together then holds them out with the Palms facing me these are the hands

that put that floor in a shiver hits me and all I can hear is my dad screaming at me over and over then I hear the sound of a Shovel hitting dirt Alan you good man Ben asks and I see he's almost right in my face I shove him back and he almost falls on his ass whoa chill he says as he catches his balance you like checked out for a second I wasn't coming for you or nothing right sorry I say I'd walk over to the generator um help me move this to the house

will you you going to say sorry for pushing me Ben asks his voice low and while it's not quite menacing it certainly isn't a warm hug Yeah sorry I say then grab one side of the generator and wait Ben seems to debate things for a second then shrugs and comes to help me I have one end of the generator in one hand and a gas can in the other Ben does the same and we walk our way slowly to the house I managed to get the front door open and we turn and ease inside then

walk to the kitchen the junction box is in the basement of course it takes a little doing to get the generator down the Stairs we can't exactly walk next to each other so I go first and turn sideways taking it step by step until we're down on the new concrete floor I got this Ben says as we set the generator next to the junction box had to hook it up for your old man too why because he didn't know how to do it Ben replies like I had just asked the dumbest question ever no why

did you have to hook it up why were you even here I look around at the basement why' He pour concrete down there Ben pauses the connection cables dangling in one hand as he frowns at me well well his son was busy with his own stuff and his daughter wouldn't answer his calls so he asked a familiar face Ben says then goes back to connecting the generator to the house your dad and I got along famously he came into the store at least three or four times a week and we'd shoot the [ __ ]

sometimes I'd sneak a beer for both of us and we'd Sip and chat about what Life and [ __ ] when he mentioned he wanted to cover over the dirt floor I offered to help out of the goodness of your heart I'm sure he side eyes me but doesn't respond when he finishes with the connections he does a bunch of stuff to the generator before yanking hard on the pull cord it fires right up and the noise is deafening trapped by the thick basement walls and the Acres of dirt Beyond I think that calls for

a beer Ben shouts over the generator then heads for The stairs we're in the kitchen in seconds with the B basement door closed it blocks out some of the noise but not much you got any of that case left or did you drink it all Ben asks with a laugh as he goes to the cheap styrofoam cooler sitting on the kitchen table he flicks the lid off and it sort of flies and floats to the floor he reaches in and grabs two beers from the ice water inside handing me one Ben cracks his and drains

half of it while I still hold Mine a debate raging in my head or several debates really the first is if I want to start drinking this early but when the smell of beer hits me that debate ends even though my hangover hasn't loosened its grip one iota the second debate is what I do about Ben he seems friendly enough but I can tell that's just surface crap because he wants something from me I guess my debate is do I humor him or do I just get him the [ __ ] out of here or

and this Is a wild thought do I listen and actually see if I can help him the last debate is whether or not I have completely lost my [ __ ] mind the image of a giant cigar smoking squirrel fills my head and sort of answers that last part which in turn helps me with the other two debates I'm good on beer I say and place the can back into the Cooler's ice water to float with the others and not to be rude Ben but I think I could use some alone time I'm Still coming

to grips over my dad dying and things are a little raw right now a little raw right now Ben Echoes and walks to the kitchen window but before he gets there he chugs his beer and drops the empty in the cooler exchanging it for a fresh one which he cracks as he stops to look out into the backyard your dad said you spent all your time up in that Treehouse when you were younger he turns and smiles at me not just when you were little but when You were older like in high school [ __

] I Shrugged it got me away from my sister oh so you remember being in the treehouse a lot what does that mean I ask and my eyes go to the cooler Ben sees me looking and smiles wider I feel heat flush my face ain't no nagging wife here man Ben says aiming his chin at the cooler have yourself one live a little when I don't say anything he moves around me and plucks a beer out of the cooler his back is to me and I'm about To grab his shoulder to tell him no but

the sound of the beer opening and that fresh hops and barley scent just shuts me right up here you go Ben says and offers the open beer to me I hesitate for all of half a second then grabbed the beer and forced myself to take a slow sip instead of gulping it down like I want to the moment the cool liquid hits my tongue and washes down my throat I feel a ton better I used to hide from my old man Too Ben says watching me carefully oh bummer I say and drink some more wait

what do you mean by two I mean I had a shack out in Miller's Woods that I could go hide in when [ __ ] got bad at home he says then walks back to the kitchen window to look out at the backyard and The Treehouse I suppose that Treehouse was like your Shack what was he into fists belts or did he just get you on the ground then kick you until you went limp A flash of my dad's enraged face shovels dirt Alan Ben asks and he looks genuinely concerned when I focus on him

again huh oh sorry I say I finish the beer and get another lost in thought I get that he says so what was it what was what your dad's Mo was he a puncher or slapper or Kicker what he didn't um he didn't beat me at all sure right and denial is a river in Egypt he shrugs and emotions for me to follow as he walks out of the kitchen come on I brought Supplies not knowing what else to do because everything else seems so completely messed up and surreal I follow him when we get

get to his truck bed he gives a wave with the hand not holding his beer TDA he says boxes and packing tape I guessed you hadn't gotten around to picking some up yet I was going to do that when I went to get the generator I say unsure of whether to be thankful or weirded out by the gesture now you don't have to do either thanks To me Ben says and kills his beer he tosses the empty into his truck bed belches then reaches in and starts hauling out flattened boxes where do you want to

start first kitchen living room bedrooms Ben this is nice of you but I can't ask you to help who says I'm being nice he replies could be I'm going to help you get this place packed up then we're going to discuss what's going to happen to all that equipment in the barn take it I don't care he snorts and looks Off in the distance the last thing I need is the sheriff knocking on my my door asking me if I know about any missing gear then going and having a look in my carport Ben says

because unlike you Mr fancy lawyer I don't have a garage I got a single wide and a [ __ ] ton of debt then sell the equipment and pay off your debt I say I do not care Ben the [ __ ] is yours it'll take me a few days maybe closer to a week and a half to find new homes for all of that He says so in the meantime I'd rather just leave it here and pick it up piece by piece as I unload it yeah that's not going to work I say tax

appraisers and auction people will be coming out any day now I kind of need it gone and I kind of need you to listen to me real careful like he says I ain't got the space I needed to stay here until I find buyers that's just how it's going to work a burning in my belly gets my attention it's a burning I'd get when a Client wouldn't listen or when an opposing attorney decided to play fast and loose with an agreement more images of my father yelling and shovels hitting dirt fill my head but I

don't shy away from them I embrace them and take a step toward Ben to the man's credit he doesn't back up I quickly find out why might want to cool your jets there hos he says and holds out a hand placing it firmly on my chest wouldn't want an anonymous call made to your Law Firm to Let them know you slipped my muscles are alive and there's an energy in me that I haven't felt in a long time I want to reach out and grab the [ __ ] by the throat and March him all

the way down the driveway and out into the road with any luck a long hauler will come by so I can toss the prick in front of it and see him become instant roadkill what the [ __ ] are you yapping about Ben I growl you mind your own business and stay out of my life life Uh-oh sounds like someone's angry Ben laughs and gives me a slight shove so I take a step back speed will do that to you what what's speed I say I haven't had any speed in weeks so whatever [ __

] you have in your head Let It Go also get the [ __ ] off my property now I don't think so he says then his eyes fall onto my beer keeping an eye on your drink isn't just good advice for college chicks Allan the smirk that spreads across his face is infuriating and I'm One second from just letting go and wailing on his ass when his words catch up in my speeding brain speeding brain speed watch your drink you [ __ ] I say what did you slip in my beer nothing like a little

dexadrin to get the day moving right Alan Ben says two capsules and it looks like you're having yourself a fun time too bad that [ __ ] shows up in a UA you don't have to take regular piss tests do you Allan I throw the can of beer into the dead grass and Move toward Ben but before I can blink there's a 6-in blade pointing between my eyes think it through Ben says I know it's hard with all that speed in you but try I take some deep shuttering breaths I think he slipped more than

two pills in that beer how didn't I taste it am I so used to that crap that I can't even notice anymore I back off good Ben says and before you think about sacrificing yourself you'll want to hear me out can't wait I say my heart racing as the Speed Works its way through my system your dad liked his beer too Ben says then he pauses and looks at the porch nah how about we have a seat and relax a little while I tell my tale are you [ __ ] kidding me the rage in

me is so close to bursting out that I can almost feel the tips of my fingers digging into The Ridges of his skull so I can pull his Dome apart and tear his brain right out you're going to want to hear this he says with complete Certainty go get the cooler from the kitchen and let's finish that beer off don't worry I brought you more in case you get lonely tonight after I leave my mind is swirling and swooshing so I do as he says and I go inside to fetch the Styrofoam cooler as I

stand there in the kitchen my eyes go to the window and what's out there but I shake off the thought and pick up the cooler when I get back out Ben is sitting on the top stoop and he bats the space next to him I sit down set the cooler next to me and grab two beers one for him and one for me then I turned my head and glare at him the apple don't fall far from the tree Ben says and cracks his beer your dad could really put them away he also didn't shy

away from the harder stuff and I ain't talking liquor he watches for a reaction but all I do is stare he shrugs and continues so one night we're hanging out at the store sipping illicit beers and Swapping stories about half a case in he mentions he desperately wants to pour concrete over the basement floor in his house now I know desperate and he wasn't just asking for a helping hand he needed to cover that dirt floor over more like he needed to cover what was in the dirt shovels dirt yelling screaming blood I shake my

head you good Ben asks [ __ ] off I snarl sounding like Tabby Fair he says so I push him a little on why he needs to cover the dirt over and he just says Past sins Ben watches me like I should react past sins I say is that supposed to mean something to me maybe you don't know Ben says but I think you do shovels dir I don't respond well he ran Rambles on about how he doesn't want to leave a mess for you kids when he's gone Ben says so I offer to help

him out of the kindness of my heart and an eight ball of crank right plus two cases of Natty light Ben adds and laughs when we go to get the cement mixer out of the barn he Makes up some excuse for all the equipment but I know a con when I see one I'd tell him his secret is safe with me he sips for a second and as see a look across his face it's not fear exactly but close so you can't just pour concrete onto dirt Ben continues you have to prep it break it

up level it out so you can lay rebar there's [ __ ] to do he sips again and the look crosses his face once more it's while I'm doing most of the Prep since your dad was old and wasn't going to be much help anyway that I discovered his little secret shovels and dirt shovels and dirt I shake my head where was I oh right I was about to tell you how I dug up a body the bomb drops and he just sits there and waits for it to explode shovels and dirt I find it

hard to swallow I get up and he reaches for me to sit back down but I shake him off step down to the ground and start pacing in front of the Stoop what are you saying I said that my dad killed someone and buried them in the basement screaming yelling shovels and dirt dirt and shovels I'm not saying that at all Ben says I'm saying he killed a whole lot of some ones and buried all of them down there so many that some were buried over other bodies which is how I stumbled on his little

graveyard [ __ ] oh no it's true man Ben says it kills his beer he grabs one more before Continuing I did my what do you lawyers call it due diligence I dug the [ __ ] up and counted at least 36 bodies some were small man just kids some were men and some were women most were skeletons but a few still had some flesh on them all of them had been there a while I stopped pacing and gripped my head yeah it's a lot right Ben says with the smirk well as soon as I

saw that first body I made sure that your dad knew I was on his Side then I slipped him a little vitamin K to chill him out and keep him docile so he didn't do nothing crazy and try to make me one of his kills his kills I mutter as so many horrific images flood my mind he was docile as a newborn lamb while I did a little Killing Floor inventory Ben says and when I was all done he pleaded with me not to say anything that's when he offered to pay me off with all

that equipment in the Barn said I could have it if I just kept my mouth shut he shrugs I ain't no snitch but you never know what info like that might be worth down the line so I said it was a deal and I'd take all the equipment off his hands in exchange for my silence he says and kills the next beer then he went and died and before I could get over here you showed up now we're all caught up Alan I see my dad's enraged face so close to mine I see my mother

looking down at me from the top Of the stairs I see my dad looking up at her and then screaming for her to stop I hear the shotgun go off I hear screaming it's my dad screaming because Mom isn't standing up there anymore I see her white foot sticking out from The Landing I see the blood begin to drip down the stairs I remember feeling shame because I knew it was all my fault lost you again Alan Ben says snapping his fingers in front of my face he's down off the stoop and standing in front

of me should I be worried about you Ben asks you aren't going to crack and confess all this to your shrink are you no I say and my voice sounds so far away shovels and dirt dirt and shovels good good Ben says and bats me on the shoulder now how about I help you pack everything up and then we grab a pizza my treat on the pie although I guess you should treat me since I'm helping you right sure I say because you can definitely afford it he continues then he snaps his fingers Again but

not in my face damn why didn't I think about this before he laughs and Pats my shoulder you know what would make all this go away and get me out of your hair forever if you just buy all that [ __ ] off me problem solved what you buy all that [ __ ] from me Ben says slowly like I'm a child then you do whatever you want with it sell it yourself take it to the dump leave it here for whoever buys this place at the auction [ __ ] if I care what I

do care About is a fair price he acts like he's thinking hard like he's just come up with this scam maybe what 50 Grand I don't have 50 Grand Hot Shot Capital City lawyer doesn't have 50 Grand I [ __ ] doubt that he says and his eyes turned mean like real mean but you're right [ __ ] 50 I say 75 what I don't he grabs me by the throat and backs me up against his truck lie to me again and I'll show you what my dad used to do to me he says lie

to Me a third time and I'll find those sweet kids of yours and show them too we clear Allan I'm coughing and clawing at his hand but he's holding me like a vice and all I can do is scratch at the back of his hand if I'm on speed and he's able to keep a hold of me then I don't even want to know what he's on he finally lets go and I bend over and throw up all the morning's beer coming out in a giant geyser Ben jumps back from the Splash and laughs damn

Alan Learn to hold your Hooch man he cackles he slaps me on the back a few times you know what you were right he says as he walks around his truck and opens the tailgate he starts pulling boxes out and Crossing them to the side you just got here yesterday and you could use a little space so I'm going to take a rain check on helping you pack and let you have that alone time but don't you worry Alan I'll be back tomorrow to get that 75 grand say around 3 or so that'll give You

time to go to the bank and back and don't worry about denominations unless you're thinking of being a smartass and giving it to me all in once that'd be pretty shitty of you I'm still wretching when he slams the tailgate shut and gets into his truck the engine revs and I Scuttle to the side to get out of the way see you tomorrow he calls out his window as he drives off it takes me a few minutes to get my [ __ ] together when I do I ignore the boxes and head Straight for the

cooler in minutes I finish off every beer in there then I go for a search through the house in the medicine Gab it I find some oxy pop pop Down the Hatch in the back of the top cupboard in the kitchen I find the real Hooch bourbon vodka tequila glug glug glug Down the Hatch feeling real good especially since I'm already [ __ ] because of that stuff Ben gave me I take my pack of smokes out onto the back porch and have a seat as I light up I Look at the Treehouse what a

piece of [ __ ] that guy is the giant cigar smoking squirrel says to me as he looks down from the railing his cigar clenched in his teeth but off to the side of his mouth we should do something about him [ __ ] off I say you're just a manifestation of my childhood trauma is that what I am the giant cigar smoking squirrel says huh you used to just call me pony pony you're a squirrel I say laughing at the insanity of my own words Hey you named me Pony he says kids can be

weird with names especially kids like you kids like me what the [ __ ] does that mean I ask as I suck down my smoke as fast as possible so I can get to the next one that much quicker it means you ain't all there Alan Pony replies and to be frank even though that's the squirrel's name two properties over you never really were your dad knew that your sister has always known that and your mother never could come to terms With it screaming blood dripping on stairs shovels dirt my mom killed herself I say

feeling the words out one by one I knew she'd died when I was young but I forgot how I forgot why because she couldn't handle who you were Pony says and puffs on his cigar who you still are what the [ __ ] do you know I snap you're a figment of my imagination pigment of your imagination Pony size brother you aren't even scratching the surface either way you Don't exist I say Pony Puffs a few times the nods except that I'm here right now aren't I and if I don't exist then who are you

talking to myself but you suck at smoke rings bony says then proceeds to expertly produce one ring after another after another then he clamps back down on his cigar and grins case closed I sit and smoke until the pack is all gone Pony stands up in the treehouse and watches me what are you going to do About Ben he asks when I crumple the empty pack and throw it out into the dead grass I don't know I say I sure don't have $75,000 no you don't Pon agrees but the money ain't the problem now is

it no it's not I say and think of the basement shovels and dirt dirt and shovels the way an auction works is they get the most out of the property pay off any debts and the owner then gets the rest Pony says but you probably learned that In your real estate law class back in college I did exactly bony says then frowns you need a smoke I'm All Out have one of mine he tosses down a cigar I catch it it feels real smells real and it tastes real as I bite off the end and

light it up I cough as I inhale too hard then I ease into the steady rhythm of puff and exhale puff and exhale never taking the smoke into my lungs Havana's finest aoha robusto bony says lighting up a new one for himself then he Continues but if say a graveyard's worth of bodies was found under all that concrete down there well even after your deaths you won't see a dime not that the place would sell it'd be tied up in the courts for years maybe decades and you're a person who needs money now right sabatical

my ass they're just dotting the eyes and crossing the te's until they can your junky butt and not have to pay you out as a partner all that Equity all all that hard work Everything you built for your kids it'll all be gone because of some old bones in the basement I don't respond we smoke until the sun goes down you know there's always a solution to every problem Pony says once the fireflies come out and start to dance in the branches of the old oak not seeing the exit strategy on this sitch Pony I

say and keep on puffing but thanks for being the insane part of me that's a at least trying to help I've always been here for you Alan Pony says it's why I'm here now to help that doesn't really ring true but I don't say it to him no need to spoil the nice evening you want to hear my solution Bon asks not really but you always used to listen to my Solutions you always listen to my ideas and did we ever get caught get caught what does that mean he stands straight and looks down at

me do you really not remember he asks shocked and offended Pony I don't Remember much of my childhood at all I say and the fact that I'm imagining a giant cigar smoking squirrel living in my Treehouse might be one of the reasons why if you say so only Muses or it could be that without me around there wasn't much to remember we were pretty busy When We Were Young whatever I say and lay back on the the porch to look up at the sky and the infinite stars that fill it I point with the Cherry

of my cigar that's Venus right that is Venus Yeah bony agrees and you are in denial you're the second person to say that to me today I reply squirrel what I'm not a person I'm a squirrel whatever you do understand the difference between a person and a squirrel right Alan yeah I get the Nuance Pony laughs how I've missed our time together too bad I can't remember any of it want me to help with that with what remembering madeup [ __ ] that I used as a coping mechanism for what my troubles my Trauma well

I wouldn't put it that way but something like that yeah I smoked the cigar down to a nub then put it out on the porch I sit up stare at Pony for a moment then shake my head I'm going to bed like hell you are he replies and suddenly he's jumping down from The Treehouse and Landing right in front of the back porch you Alan Joseph have work to do why what's the point I asked and managed not to retreat into the house in Terror as the 7ft tall squirrel stands Menacingly at the bottom of

the steps the point is there is always a solution Pony insists I know no because this isn't even close to the worst [ __ ] you've been in in fact the solution is so easy that you may even get to call the auction off and sell this place for real that sure put a nice little chunk in the old bank account wouldn't it give you a little cushion while you get your life back together while you get your kids back from your soon to be ex you're A [ __ ] squirrel I shout and there

my hands up in the air what the [ __ ] do you know I know there's a jackhammer in that Barn Pony says and I know how that cement mixer works and I know what we can do about Ben I also know there's a reward out for information resulting in the recovery of stolen rental equipment stolen I saying laugh my dad didn't find any loophole did he nah he straight up stole that [ __ ] Pony says but you can Return it and I think the reward is about what is owed in taxes on this

place think think about it Alan you'd be free and clear of everything including you well that goes without saying bony says and grins his teeth are very white and very sharp but there'll be a new family that'll move in a new kid who likes to spend time with me in the treehouse a new kid who listens to all the solutions I can come up with for all their problems and what does a Jackhammer have to do with any of this funny you should ask ask I work through the night my entire body is nothing but

jelly when I finally finish good job Alan Pony says staring down into the hole I made in the basement's concrete floor and even the deeper hole I dug in the dirt and not even one body was in your way he Taps his head you may not remember but old bony never forgets great I say barely able to stay Standing what now now you get a little rest and be ready for when Ben shows his nasty toothed face a little rest are you joking not at all go grab a shower and catch a few wings I'll

wake you before the [ __ ] gets here if you say so I reply and stumble my way up to the kitchen then I Stumble my way upstairs to the shower with the generator running I can take a kn nice long hot shower I almost fall asleep on my feet but managed to turn the water off towel off And stumble to my bed again I Collapse across it but this time with only a towel on Alan I mumble something about [ __ ] off and try to drift back to sleep Alan Ben's here I startle

awake and nearly scream as Pony's squirrel face fills my vision he's driving down the driveway Pony says a hurry I scramble from my bed and throw some clothes on then I Rush downstairs and look out the front window Ben is pulling up to the house right now I step back before he sees me and head to the kitchen then I go down into the basement and wait Pony's already down there I'll tuck in behind the stairs he says that way he doesn't see me and gets spooked yeah I don't think that'll be a problem say

unless he's a mind reader if you say say so Pony replies shouldn't I have a weapon or something I say there's the shotgun I should go get that too messy he says and you won't need it if you say so I respond making Pony laugh Trust me on this one pony says then disappears Under the Stairs like he planned I hear Ben out there yelling for me sounds like he's by the barn he yells some more and his voice gets closer and closer until I hear the front screen door Creak open above footfalls echo down

to me and I stare up at the basement's ceiling which is The house's floor Alan where the [ __ ] are you man Ben shouts when he reaches the basement door down here Ben I shout and stand in The corner as I rest my shoulder against the basement wall all casual and cool it's a familiar feeling a feeling I'm used to I should be freaking out considering what's about to happen but I'm not now I'm CM inside for the first time in a very long time it feels like it feels like it feels like coming

home what the [ __ ] are you doing down here Ben asks when he comes down the stairs then he stops and frowns at the mess what the [ __ ] did you do idiot do You want people to find your dad's [ __ ] serial killer graveyard you see Ben that's the problem I say push off from the wall yesterday I didn't know who I was but last night I had a long chat with an old friend because it took a while to break this concrete up and that friend helped me remember exactly who

I was I grin wide and Ben takes a step back who I still am if I'm being honest I say and pause so I don't spook him what are you babbling About Ben asks then he does something very interesting he pulls a pistol from his waistband and flashes it at me he doesn't point it in my direction but he makes it obvious that he has me dead to rights how about you stay put He suggests and then how about you show me that 75 grand oh [ __ ] I was so busy making this hole

that I forgot to go to the bank that's when the pistol is turned directly on me that was stupid Ben says He looks over and sees the cement mixer I had managed to Wrangle down into the basement Pony helped but we know that was just my imagination compensating for the fact I was doing something one person should not be able to do on their own Ben shakes his head like really stupid since you already dug the hole for me and brought the mixer down Ben says I'd be scared that you were going to kill me

except it looks like I'm the only one with the gun he [ __ ] the Hammer back don't you want to hear how wrong you are Ben I ask still so cool inside I'm like a Zen master if a Zen Master Zen is coated in blood or something like that I'm glad I didn't say it out loud man you are Loco as [ __ ] Ben says I literally have a gun cocked and ready to shoot your ass and you're telling me I'm wrong yeah Jesus you're crazy as [ __ ] aren't you Ben says

than size sure Alan tell me how I'm wrong we'll Consider it your last request before I put two in your chest and one in your head you assumed this was my dad's graveyard Ben I say and just keep smiling well yeah because that's what he told me Ben says and I can see he's ready for this to be over me too did you ever think that he was maybe protecting someone I asked but hold up my hand to ward off any response did you ever think that maybe this wasn't his graveyard not his graveyard then

whose Is it Ben asks not your mom's because she offed herself she probably found out what your dad had been doing and couldn't deal with it no not my dad I say me you Ben asks and laughs [ __ ] nerd ass going to be a lawyer someday Alan Joseph you're saying that all these bodies under this concrete are because of you that you're the serial killer not your dad he waits a beat then busts out laughing Tears start streaming down his cheeks [ __ ] alen he cries you really and Truly are one crazy

[ __ ] you don't think I could do it I asked a little offended but the calm is still there no I don't [ __ ] think you can do it Ben yells at me and raises the pistol there is no way some kid could have killed all these people maybe the kids yeah but the adults all those Drifters and college kids that went missing no way you did all that by yourself but he wasn't by himself was he [ __ ] Pony says from under the stairs And extricates himself from the shadows as he

walks toward Ben Ben whirls around and screams the pistol Falls from his grip and goes off when it hits the con cre a bullet Ricochet is around the basement but luckily doesn't hit me what the [ __ ] are you I'm the end of your ass I say he's not talking to you Alan Pony says stalking toward Ben he's talking to me obviously you're just part of my mind I say I'm really doing all this Alan there's a giant talking squirrel in your [ __ ] basement Ben screeches then turns and tries to run toward

me like I'm his savior or something he gets half a foot but Pony's pawn reaches out and snags his hoodie with a very very sharp claw yanking B backward into Pony's grasp with his face close up to Ben's ear Pony Whispers you [ __ ] with the wrong friend of the wrong squirrel Ben Alan help me I stand stunned I'm not sure what I'm seeing I mean Pony can't be real right we were such a great team Pony continues he took the little ones I took the big ones and his dad buried the B bodies

down here shovels and dirt dirt and shovels you're real I say quietly I'd be offended if I didn't know how messed up the insides of your head are Alan Pony says Alan please Ben says as Pony places both Paws around Ben's head the claws encompassing his face why are you pleading with Alan Pony asks didn't you hear me he handled the little ones and I Handled the big ones Pony gives Ben a quick kiss on the cheek and you are a big one Ben then he squeezes and Ben screams he screams and screams and screams

then stops as a loud cracking echoes in the basement Ben's head collapses in on itself and blood and brain and Bone pour down to the concrete excuse me Pony says as he lifts Ben by his broken head and walks my way got to make a deposit I get the [ __ ] out of the way fast and watch as Pony drops Ben's Body into the hole then he turns and wipes his hands up and down who's the badass squirrel who always has a solution bony asks he waits for me to respond and when I don't

he frowns Jesus Allan lighten up you used to get so jazzed when we killed you're real I say again well duh he says and motions to the cement mixer did you really think you could get that down here yourself you've always been real again duh Pony replies now you know why your brain just Tucked all the memories away why you didn't keep killing when you left home your mind couldn't handle the truth then you came back and we're a team again I uh no I get it he says in size it's a lot and don't

worry I know this was a oneand done you have a life to get back to and you'll probably end up with a chunk of change in your pocket once all this house and stolen equipment [ __ ] is sorted doesn't that sound great I have to admit it does sound great so what now I ask now we figure out how this [ __ ] cement mixer Works Pony says got a hole to fill Alan and we don't have your dad here to help ready shovels and dirt dirt and shovels and a cement mixer yeah I

say I'm ready thanks for listening if you enjoy these stories be sure to subscribe to the podcast and check out some more of my episodes here