well now you've done it you fell down a weird witch's Wormhole and landed yourself in ancient Egypt so can you survive let's find [Music] out the first thing you might ask is which ancient Egypt cuz the entirety of ancient Egypt spanned across several thousands of years with quite a few different eras let's go with ah the iconic New Kingdom the height of Egyptian power and influence and the most documented for research purposes how convenient since you made it to this video I'm going to assume that you're not a literal mouth breathing knuckle dragging fragile infant
so you can give yourself a pad on your freshly whipped back cuz you've already survived the hardest part childhood being a kid wasn't easy since they didn't have any fancy beeping machines to hook moms up to and keep babies alive infant mortality rates were extremely [Music] high 20 to 50% of babies didn't make it out the womb if you survived being born next up was surviving the world harder with things like disease hunger and other environmental factors out to get you it's not going to be a stroll through easy Ville I mean some of these
kids look so frail you could practically see their blinking health bar hang in there guys oh bummer your main duty as a kid is to help out the family that brought you into this world we're talking chores taking care of your siblings protecting the farm learning the family business everything necessary for survival as far as food it's whatever Mama and Papa could scrape together which is mainly bread milk fruits and veggies ever have half an onion on dry bread with warm milk it's actually pretty disgusting but it's what keeps you growing because if you don't
eat well and hey if your papa has a high enough fishing level he could bring home a pretty sweet catfish to tear into get that protein your mother assuming she survived slopping you out of her belly would feed and care for your ungrateful ass but none of that is applicable since you just got orphaned by the SpaceTime Continuum before we take a look at what to do next let's see where you would fit in the grand scheme of society because everyone has their place ancient Egyptian Society worked in a hierarchy with Rich and Powerful guys
at the top and everyone else at the not top so really no change from the modern world the head honcho around these parts is the Pharaoh he's the Divine King and whatever he says goes subscribe just under him are his closest Bros and advisers then we have an educated and skilled middle class and then a laboring lower class with slaves and servants at the bottom which were usually foreign prisoners of War since there's a 95% chance that you'd stick out like a turd and a punch bowl amongst a well tanned weird talking population you'd probably
be captured and sold into slavery tough break Outsider but let's assume you can convince the xenophobic guards that you're one cool dude hey I'm one cool dude it worked time to get a job since you can't speak wingdings 3 you're going to have to prove your worth through manual labor luckily there's plenty of job to choose from like farming and over 90% of all ancient Egyptians were farmers so there's plenty of friends and Rivals to be made you know see who could grow the best onions or whatever it is Farmers did for fun finger each
other's cabbages I don't know but your absolute best friend is the Nile river which is your number one source of delicious Brown water for your crops just don't taste test it thankfully the application process to work on a farm is no more than moving a rock from here to there and with your Stellar gamer build you can easily get the job done just remember to lift entirely with your back as a bonus you can read and write not in hieroglyphics but in cooler things like letters and numbers perfect for taking your own notes you're hired
now you can get to work and earn that bread but since the persons haven't invaded yet and introduced proper currency you'll be working for literal bread so you slave away from months on B here's family Wheat Farm eating your brown bread and Sandy beer dinners while sleeping on a filthy crusty Dusty dirt floor watch out for snakes they bite day in and day out you swing your sickles and your hose dreaming about the hose you left behind taking extra caution not to get too distracted H looks like you cut off be's arm be here will
remember that it's then you look down and notice some squishing between your toesies the ground's getting rather moist ah the Nile's flooding you say to no one after you finish fighting off the invading River Rats using your plus seven strength copper sword it's time to pause the farming grind and try your hand at construction while the Nile does its thing oh look the Pharaoh wants you to help build a new pyramid lucky you since you have countless hours placing virtual Cobblestone under your belt this sounds like a pretty sweet gig just keep an eye out
because sometimes it's not yourself that you need to watch out for daily labor is just part of your worry though because you still have [Music] diseases like slaves are the hot and trending collectible at the time you could even trade them to your friends if you're feeling generous enough I got troma well I've got first edition small poox check it [Music] out with your 21st century wrinkle brain you know that you need to keep clean to prevent disease so you take a dip in the Nile to wash your many crevices just Downstream of the laundry
which is Downstream of the town's dumping grounds uh-oh looks like you picked up a friend a parasitic flatworm went and crawl up your round worm and now you have schistosomiasis with that comes a fever and aggressive diarrhea and since we're in ancient times you know what that means but little wriggling worms aren't the only threats you face like the infected fellas a minute back found out there were many different diseases sickening up the land the most popular being tuberculosis small pox and malaria these guys would make sure that your stay in ancient Egypt would be
a quick one so be sure to swat some skers and tell your neighbors to cover their coughs for raw's sake oh sorry I thought that there was a mosquito on you yeah you too anyway you get back to chiseling some Sandstone blocks and oh looks like you caught Pharaoh checking out the goods he admires your strong physique attention to hygiene and glistening back sweat he even heard about your conquering of the River Rats and he's impressed those are some good qualities good qualities for a soldier you just got bumped up a few societal ranks look
at you go oh Pharaoh wants to expand his Empire well now your promotion makes sense time to go to [Music] war being a soldier can't be too hard right you just pick up a shield and a sword and swing it a little after all people are just bigger rats oh sweet they even have the cool curved swords curved swords it's called a copes and boy does it hurt but if swinging a sword ain't your style you could opt for something a little less slashy and a little bit more stabby if if you want to poke
someone further away but still want to be close enough to Revel in their death I recommend a spear or Javelin if you really have the urge to stab someone at least a few thousand scarabs away go for the simple and sweet bow and arrow it never fails unless you miss all right time to step onto the Sandy Battlefield and fight for a country you just fell into the enemies of the day are the sea peoples no one really knows who they were and they most likely came from somewhere north of the Mediterranean but Pharaoh don't
give a good gosh dang they've been flaunting their stupid looking boats into [ __ ] for the last time [ __ ] you Egypt oh it's so on now the first thing you're going to want to do is ah damn all right let's try that again respawn okay quick time Dodge the arrow fire your own oh nice shot good Arc stable flight and G right on target good job murdering that guy with absolutely no complex backstory or family that he was fighting to protect from Invaders to him you were the bad guy but hey War
as hell isn't it you keep popping off shots and taking out numerous Expendable enemy NPCs while you continue to just riddle the battlefield with arrows you notice something in your peripheral not something someone oh hey but here didn't know you were a soldier oh thank God it was it was just a dream [Music]
