there's a skill that almost no one talks about a skill that completely changes the way you connect with others it's a skill that makes any other social skill unnecessary it's not about being a better listener saying the right thing or any of those other social tips before I tell you this skill I want you to imagine this you're at a party earlier in the day you saw a video the most underrated social skill how to listen like a therapist so you try it you're listening nodding following all the advice you've heard about how to be
a good listener you do everything right and it feels good people respond to it they open up they like you but for what the skill I'm going to share with you isn't meant for everyone this video is a great example I've read many comments and noticed that a lot of people develop the skill of active listening as a mechanism that lets them feel good enough for this group of people and maybe even for you learning social skills through videos like these creates a feeling of being deficient better to think it's my fault which lets you
believe there's the chance that if I work hard and be good then I will be lovable that's where my skill comes into play sure these techniques work but when we try to be everything others need setting up this performance of the perfect social interaction it's easy to lose your own voice you've become so skilled at focusing outwards you're losing the voice that matters most most the most underrated social skill isn't listening more it's listening less to the endless thoughts of what you should be to the voices that say you're not enough to the endless tips
of how to have the perfect social interaction these things make you forget that it's about being here fully yourself without the need to impress or perform so how do you do that first ask yourself why am I clicking these kinds of videos it's likely that you're mentally occupied with how you're seen whether you're coming across as likable and stressing about whether you're actually a nice person in all that effort to be nice you create a paradox you're thinking of yourself what others think of you how others perceive you all of that is really about you
that's not a good person that's not a bad person that's just not much of a person at all it's a strange Paradox of narcissism and self-abandonment it's all about you but you start to dis appear if you want to be liked by everyone you're going to feel invisible to yourself so gain the courage to be disliked second give yourself permission to take up space share your thoughts without waiting to be asked directly and if someone never asks about you maybe they're not worth your energy it's very easy to diminish your own need to be hurt
and to forget to talk about yourself don't become the constant therapist friend the friend who's always there always listening yet somehow never heard third set boundaries boundaries are in selfish they're how you protect yourself your time and your energy your life and well-being is yours and not something you exchange for love and validation when you stop trying to be nice to everyone you'll find that the right people naturally connect with the real you it's okay if you don't want to listen for hours or if a conversation doesn't feel right you don't owe anyone anything fourth
drop the knee to fill every silence just be there let it be awkward make mistakes it's so easy to blame yourself even though these are just human experiences trust me you're going to have more Awkward silences and other awkward moments in your life just see it for what it is drop the pressure to be perfect and Let It Be Fifth pay attention to your inauthentic Behavior don't judge yourself for it but simply not is it in my experience being authentic is the easiest when you don't have an image of who your authentic self even is
being authentic is more about not forcing yourself to be anything rather than living up to this image you constructed of who you are so if you're ready to learn the skill of not listening to everything you should or shouldn't be start by letting go stop trying to fix how others see you you are enough and if this resonated with you consider clicking this button
