hey sectagors a taboo topic in our society is speaking ill of our parents when we bring up our own traumatic events regarding our parents we're shushed and shunned with phrases like they did the best they could they did everything for you or the usual you're ungrateful while our parents might have met well it's undeniable that some are highly toxic the consequence of this lifetime of toxic parenting is an adult who continues to suffer from an unhealthy perspective of love and relationships and a lack of understanding of their own emotional and mental needs so with that
said here are 10 characteristics of highly toxic parents and how they affect you number one they're hyper critical criticism from parents is normal well-adjusted criticism can help you see the flaws in a plan and make better choices for yourself however if your parents are overly critical of you on a regular basis this is a toxic trait this constant criticism and sometimes comparison can make a child feel like they aren't good enough or at fault for their parents constant attacks on them this result is an adult who has a harsh inner critic as a constant companion
this inner critic can actually sound like your parent's voice telling you detrimental things all the time number two they don't allow you to express your true feelings healthy parents are aware that their children have emotions and opinions too they welcome the expression and discussion from their children highly toxic parents don't have this awareness highly toxic parents take a child expressing their confusing and difficult emotions as attacks on their character there are no individual feelings just a few collective emotions parents being dismissive of their children's emotions can result in depression according to the american psychological association
because their true self is being suppressed this results in a child who can't express or identify their own needs as an adult who suffers the same and aims to please everyone because that's what they know are you having trouble staying productive is stress and anxiety stopping you from getting a good night's sleep we'd like to thank endow our sponsor for this video helping you sleep relax and focus is what endell does best with their personalized soundscapes they can create feelings of comfort and safety boost your productivity and even soothe you into a deep sleep with
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help you become more resilient and confident about making your dreams a reality having parents that inspire you to exceed and what you want to do is a blessing toxic parents seem to view their children as competitors they might derail your success or goals by using sabotage and belittling your dreams and accomplishments you end up not feeling confident in reaching your own goals some highly toxic parents are quite jealous of their children and the opportunities that they have so they might overtake you in your goals or force you to live their own long gone dreams number
four they don't see their children as individuals highly toxic parents or htps see their children as extensions of themselves only they want their kids to follow in their footsteps or live out the dreams they never got to accomplish because they see their kids as small versions of themselves they fear the kids being autonomous and leaving them so they prevent them from being themselves and functioning as an individual any undesirable behavior that can make them look bad is ridiculed both publicly and privately the child becomes an adult who doesn't have a separate identity nor do they
know who they are number five they control their children using guilt and money healthy parents can give gifts affirmation and physical affection without expecting anything in return because they know it's not a business deal that requires reciprocity to make it work they do it because they want to and love to htps will give a child all these things and demand something in return if the child doesn't they're reminded of the sacrifices that the parent made and everything they've done children become afraid to ask for help and for things that they do need because they'll be
asked to give something back that they don't want they may turn into suspicious distrustful adults who question kindness and doubt people's intentions number six they always put their feelings first putting your feelings first isn't bad but if you do it often and at the expense of others that is a toxic trait parents who do this in a family environment don't create positive relationships with their children by not considering the family's feelings and opinions about family matters these parents force their kids to hide their true feelings to please and soothe the parent this can result in
an adult who lies and hides who they are and downplays their own needs and feelings number seven they demand your attention and praise toxic parents can't live without attention and praise it has to be positive of course and you must give it often well-adjusted parents know that their kid needs to be their own person away from them to grow htps constantly demand your attention and interaction this forced bonding is tiring and time consuming for children they may turn into adults that struggle to say no and suffer through things they really don't want to do because
of leftover guilt number eight they withhold love as a form of punishment being punished by your parents is necessary to learn that consequences exist for actions however healthy punishment options exist htps will often use the silent treatment on their child to discipline them instead of expressing their displeasure in a productive way this passive aggressiveness makes the child feel pressured into solving a problem that they didn't even cause they may tell their kids that they don't love or like them give them short rude answers and dirty looks and refuse physical touch this manifests in children who
hide the truth from their parents or engage in worse behavior if they believe that their parents don't care about them number nine they give no apologies and take no blame well-rounded parents aren't perfect people and they're aware of this they know that their actions can and do have unpleasant consequences and they communicate this with their children when they hurt them unintentionally or intentionally htps are not in that group they are not self-aware or focused on self-improvement they always see themselves as the victim they're too preoccupied with judging people and blaming everyone else even their own
kids they refuse to give an apology because they believe that children aren't worthy of them this makes the child feel like the wrongs done to them don't matter or need correction so they become adults who don't voice any grievances and suffer in silence number 10 they ignore healthy boundaries well-rounded parents know that having boundaries is good for themselves and their children because it teaches them self-respect they will knock on the door first allow you privacy and encourage general communication within the family htps don't know what boundaries are at least not in regard to their kids
they give little to no privacy they trample all over boundaries and force an enmeshed dynamic in the family where you can't tell where you start and the rest of the family ends parents who display this toxic trait make it difficult for children to recognize set understand and maintain boundaries this child becomes an adult with little understanding of healthy boundaries and respect for others so do you relate to any of the things we've mentioned here if you come from a home where you didn't receive unconditional love affirmation security practicing independence and individuality can help you break
this cycle and be a better more adjusted secure person it takes a long time and a lot of work but it's rewarding in the long run while it may not be simple or possible for some people to leave their toxic parents and guardians action does need to be taken to start healing if you are a victim of toxic parenting therapy is extremely important and helpful long term if you are a parent who sees these characteristics in yourself help from a mental health professional can help you break these negative patterns did you find this video valuable
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