I don't know who needs to hear this but being attractive is not about how you look it is all about your mentality and once your girl realized that the glow up that I had showed and coming from someone who used to be so insecure about myself I hated looking in the mirror I thought I was so ugly and unattractive but when I tell you the day I actually gained confidence it wasn't even when I had a physical glow up or lost all the weight it was when I finally decided to adopt the hot girl mindset
that brought me true confidence not based on what I looked like and this video I'm going to be sharing all the haot girl mindset life lessons that you need to know to do so if you're new here welcome my name is Lena I have a self-help series here on my channel where we discuss all things becoming your best self so if you're not subscribed already what are you doing okay what are you doing go subscribe right now lesson number one understand the halo effect so the halo effect is actually something that we all experience it's
when you see one desirable quality in someone and then because of that you was so iate this person with having all these other desirable qualities and then when you look at that person you find them attractive so for example a professional athlete people will find them attractive because of how athletic they are but if the same person that looked like that athlete passed by you on the street you probably wouldn't even bat an i or a super famous actor some of them are not conventionally attractive but people think that they're attractive because of how talented
they are at their art so the good news babes is that you don't need to be a professional athlete or some world famous actor to be attractive confidence is a very desirable quality and you know why it's because most people don't have true confidence so if you exude confidence you are just more attractive period it doesn't matter how you look and I'm telling you if younger Lena knew this okay back then I would have saved so much time and energy not being stressed out about how I looked rejection is redirection so what didn't work out
for you actually worked for you and you need to believe this at your core okay when I was at my most insecure rejection and Desperation honestly red out of me okay I was always suting bad vibes bad energy when I tell you I had zero confidence in myself so I always walked around feeling like I was so undeserving of things whether it was opportunities friends doing well in school being healthy going to the gym getting a guy to like me Etc and basically I took every rejection in my life as a sign to confirm my
own belief that I was unworthy and undeserving and now I look back and I realized that everything I wanted so bad at that time was not meant for me and God actually gave me so much better everything happens in your favor stop thinking that everything your life is a setback you have to be confident and believe that everything good in your life and bad in your life is happening in your favor and all that good energy and positive vibes that you're going to give out is always going to come back to you take nothing personally
this one was a tough one for me to accept Okay I was someone that took everything so personally I would go the extra mile to be nice to everyone whether it was a friend or a stranger that I just met and then with that random Barista would roll her eyes at me or a friend purposely left me out or I found out that someone was talking crap about me I took that all all so personally and it would hurt me so bad I would be so stressed I would be losing sleep over it and so
what I realized is the way you stop taking everything so personally is you have to have a strong sense of self and you have to master Detachment I have a whole other video on how to master Detachment if you want to watch that but girly pop your confidence should not stem from the people around you like you your confidence needs to stem from the fact if you like yourself and when I was super insecure I didn't like myself so it's all about learning true self-love but also only hurt people hurt people if you in your
heart of hearts genuinely did nothing wrong to the other person and they have the audacity to be rude to you or snake you or backstab you you need to realize that they are hurt themselves and it has nothing to do with you and when you have a strong sense of self like you are self-aware of who you are your values what you bring to the table you know that that person's bad behavior has nothing to do with you and it is not your problem to deal with hate only comes from below or from competition this
is something that my brother told me that I will never forget he told me that hate only comes from people below you because they are jealous of who you are and what you've achieved like if you think about it people who are genuinely successful like at the top of the top a successful YouTuber is never going to make fun of you for wanting to start a YouTube channel a super successful business owner is never going to make fun of you for starting your first business they are already successful in their own right and if anything
they just respect you even more because they know the hard work it takes to get where they are it's only the people below you that want to hate on you want to talk down on you want to make fun of you and if those successful people are hating on you it's because they're threatened by you clap and be genuinely happy for other people's success let me tell you something okay jealousy is ugly okay you could be the most attractive drop dead gorgeous girl I've ever seen if I send some jealousy on you I know what
it's like to be jealous okay when I was at my most insecure I was the most jealous person I was hating on everybody because I felt inadequate myself stop wasting energy being jealous of other people's success it's only proof that you can do it too there is more than enough success to go around someone else's success uccess accomplishments does not take away from yourself and you refusing to clap for others is the reason it will never be your turn other people's opinions are not a fact it's an opinion so every time you hear that someone's
talking crap about you they think you're ugly you're cringe you're annoying you're weird it is an opinion which kind of hard pill to swallow but they are 100% entitled to their own opinion so stop being pressed about that stop wasting your time or energy being angry at that person what is important and what you need to focus on is what is fact please stop obsessing over how to get a guy to like you Stop asking yourself if this girl this guy this person if they like you would you date you or are you worried about
him not liking you is a direct crush on your ego because you rely on people liking you as a way for you to be confident and I'm calling you out because I had to call me out too the best dating advice is not even actual dating advice I always see this advice on Tik Tok like how to get him obsessed with you how to get him to like you how to get him to chase you my best dating advice is to date yourself pour all of your energy and time into bettering yourself find hobbies that
you enjoy learn about new interesting topics become the most fit healthy version of yourself read some books become the most confident version of yourself that you will want to date yourself literally and I promise you that when you focus your time and energy on focusing on yourself and becoming the person that you want to attract that person will come when the time is right you will build confidence so high that you're going to reject someone's Dusty son if he doesn't treat you right no answer is an answer stop trying to answer for other people why
they're ghosting you why they're treating you like crap okay if the guy you like the friend you want to hang out with isn't answering that is an answer okay stop trying to double text them ask them did I do something wrong are you okay take it accept it move on confidence is silent insecurity is loud if you notice the only people that do a lot of this a lot of talking crap are insecure people they are the loudest and confident people don't even have the time or energy to waste talking crop confidence comes from the
little wins so there's three wins that I try to hit every single day it's a physical win spiritual win and mental win so a physical win would be going on a walk stretching going to Pilates weightlifting a spiritual win is praying reading my Bible meditating a mental win is journaling and having these set three wins that you follow every single day no matter what will inevitably build trust in yourself and that's where confidence comes from self trust and honestly daily journaling was one of the first and easiest habits that kickstarted my confidence because once I
actually stuck to daily journaling and committing myself to it I built enough confidence like wow I can start something and actually stick to it and that discipline just carried on to all other areas of my life if you find yourself not knowing how to start journaling or you have trouble sticking to daily journaling do not worry I feel you okay that was me too so I created my very own journal to make it very easy for you to stick to every day there's even a section for Journal prompts if you run out of ideas to
write about which you guys already sold out our first drop like y'all snatched them up so quick but the great news is that we are coming back in stock with the day byday journal on August 21st so get ready get on your Zoom turn on your alerts on your phone or you might be watching right now and they're available go snatch a journal up before they sell out again pour into yourself so much that you don't have time to waste on others who don't pour in you be so busy with yourself the hobbies that you
love spending quality time with the people that you love going to your favorite workout class basically keeping yourself so busy that you do not have the time or energy to waste on people who don't give back to you every person that you lose is not a loss stopp being a doormat and staying friends with people who treat you like crap because you're afraid to be alone and the people who leave your life they are always a lesson not a loss they will make fun of you one day and then another day they will ask you
how you did it so I started my YouTube channel and content Creation in general about 4 years after I actually wanted to start it and it's because I was so afraid of being made fun of I already know that people from high school middle school even were probably making fun of me but there will come a day when they come back around and they're going to ask you how did you do it walk in confidently like you own the room stop being afraid to take up space so that means walk into a room with your
trust up make eye contact with people and be a good vibe you know radiate good good energy you are the main character of your own story act like it I remember when I was at my most insecure it was when I was a freshman in college and I was going to NYU which is very bougie expensive school and being at that school there were many times where I just sensed how rich everyone else was and a lot of the kids that go to NYU they are very well off they come from very high income backgrounds
which I do not every room I walked in I felt so inadequate and I felt I felt insecure because I knew the background I was coming from and and where most people were coming from and now I have the ment it it does not matter who is in this room how rich they are how successful they are I'm going to walk into the room like I own it the way you view and treat yourself will be how others treat and view you if you constantly talk down to yourself that you're ugly you're untalented you're a
loser that is how other people are going to treat and perceive you you are the one that sets the standard of how others should be treating you being a high value woman means you are a woman of your word So when you say you're going to do something you always follow through with the action I will go to the gym you go do it I will start posting content on social media you go do it to get things that you've never had you have to start doing things that you've never done stop doing the same
old same old okay and thinking you're going to magically get a different result if you envision for yourself a dream life a dream career a dream partner you have to do the uncomfortable you have to put yourself out there you have to take the first step you have to apply to job be fearless and do what's uncomfortable stop expecting yourself from others if you know that you are a good friend to someone and they are not a good friend to you it is your your own fault for expecting them to do the same for you
drop them leave them behind and work to curate a life of people who pour into you just as much as you pour into them words are not actions actions are actions do not take people's word for it okay oh I was going to get you flowers oh I was going to show up to your birthday oh I'm going to make it up to you if you're finding that that person does a whole lot of this but they're doing none of the doing cut them off if they actually care about you being honest about how you
feel will not scare them away stop being afraid of telling the person that you like that they are not treating you how you expect them to treat you stop being afraid to call someone out if they are being disrespectful towards you if they genuinely care about you and they want you in their life they will always listen to you control only what you can control so this relates to the let them Theory and this means let them stop trying to control every single aspect of your life or every person in your life oh your friend
didn't invite you but invited literally everyone else let them that guy you went on a date with ghosted you let him you cannot control their actions you can only control your reaction you need to actively choose to walk away from the mistreatment not try to control them and expect them to change understand reaction formation guys understanding this changed my life reaction formation is a defense mechanism where you are overcompensating for feelings of inadequacy so you do the exact opposite if you notice some guys will be like I'm such a nice guy I am so loyal
and then you one day realize that they are the exact opposite of that and they are a crap person or they're Too Faced when they do a whole lot of talking they're overcompensating for what they actually are be dulu yes but be self-aware so you know we all love to be a little dulu okay you know believe that you can achieve things that everyone else might think you're crazy for you know I was being dulu thinking that I'd become a YouTuber and have my dream job and live in my dream place okay being dulu is
good but do not be dulu into thinking that you are this perfect person with no flaws everything is everyone else's fault and not yours you need to take accountability for yourself your flaw things you need to work on okay like for example I needed to be self-aware that I had a jealousy problem okay and it stemmed from insecurity and I had to work on it everyone in their mom has something that they need to work on okay so be self-aware of your own [ __ ] being a people pleaser means that people only like you
for a fake version of you if you are a people pleaser you will forever be insecure because deep down you know that these people like you for someone that you're not so just accept that not everyone is going to like you and that's okay be extra grateful for the quality people in your life life who genuinely love you even if that means having a smaller Circle not everyone is going to like you so might as well put all that time and energy into learning how to like yourself daily movement is a hack for free Feelgood
hormones stop viewing working out and having a workout routine as this annoying tour you have to do to get your dream body or lose a certain amount of weight there is overwhelming scientific proof that daily movement which means walking stretching running weightlifting yoga Pilates any sort of daily movement will give you guaranteed feel-good hormones and I don't know about you but I love free stuff you will regret the things that you didn't do far more than the things that you tried and failed I always say this but my only regret with starting YouTube was not
starting earlier you will always regret not trying you will never regret failing and learning a lesson stop looking for happiness externally look for happiness within yourself the cost of procrastination is the life that you could have lived you can't control life so control what is in your control how you start your morning how you treat your body how you speak to yourself that is the only control in your life that you can have control over so make sure you prioritize that embarrassment is a choice for the longest time okay I was so embarrassed of vlogging
in public but then one day I chose not to and so I stopped being embarrassed about it the other week I was walking on the super busy Street full of people and I tripped and almost fell literally on my face and people were staring at me I looked around and then I just laughed to myself because honestly was pretty funny and then life moved on you know another example growing up I've always had eczema on my arms my face and when I would have my Eczema flareups I would be so embarrassed anytime I wore short
sleeves and people would see it and ask me about it like what is that what's happening I would literally wear long sleeves in the dead of Summer just to not show my Eczema now I could care less okay if people do happen to ask me oh what's going on with your arms I just tell them I have eczema been had it my whole life the flare-ups happen sometimes and then we move on I choose not to feel embarrassed because life is really not that serious get comfortable with the uncomfortable the only way you find true
discipline in your life is when you start to get comfortable with the uncomfortable the only competition is yourself and who you were yesterday stop competing with other people stop comparing your life to other people that you see on social media where their life looks perfect okay we are all starting from different starting lines stop feeling like you need friends or you need to be part of a friend group in order to not be a loser okay I'm talking to myself when I say this you are a loser for accepting crop treatment from crap friends the
more you try to control a situation a person it will always have more control over yourself and your own peace learn to accept compliments do not deflect them I used to never be able to accept a compliment and it's because deflecting is a sign of insecurity so accept the compliment okay confidence is not a feeling it is the willingness to try stop trying to chase the feeling of confidence okay feelings are fleeting true confidence is an active choice you are making the active choice to be sure of yourself even if there's potential uncertainty doubt or
failure Nothing in life lasts the good and the bad they both don't last so you need to learn to enjoy and be in the present and last but not least the best investment in your life is yourself you only have one body on this Earth one life one brain so invest into yourself every single Part of Yourself enrich yourself with knowledge learn to be a better listener a Kinder person take care of your body do your favorite workouts eat the food that makes you feel good so yeah those are a bunch of my haot girl
mindset life lessons that you need to know I really really hope that that was helpful and if you have any other HW girl mentality mindset tips that you can share with our little Community here please share them in the comments below check the comments I read all my comments honestly you guys have the best advice and we love to put each other on we do not get keep on this channel don't forget to follow me on Instagram and Tik Tok I love you guys so so much and I hope to catch you in my next
video bye [Music] guys a right to Jo ah
