my family found out i am rich and now they are demanding that i pay for a 35 000 vacation after i've already paid off all of their mortgages on their houses to start i'm a 46 year old female i'm married and i have three kids 10 years ago we came into money a lot of money i worked hard in my specific field which earns a lot i had done some smart investments and they have paid out i have steadily been adding to my bank account for these years my husband considers this my money we don't
have a prenup hence i will talk as it's mine when the first payload came in i did what my husband and i always discuss if we would have the money we paid off the mortgage i bought a new car and i managed to buy a nice house and our favorite holiday destination we rent this one out to a very nice family for most of the year we set up college funds for our children each in equal amounts which should be enough to pay for five years if there is money left from the fun the children
can use it as a down payment on their own house or apartment when the money kept coming in thanks to investment to my work i look towards what could be done for my immediate family my husband has two sisters and we have five nieces and nephews on his side from one of the sisters my brother has two children as well it was decided that all the nieces and nephews would have college funds as well for the same amount as my children under the same strict stipulations i would get information about the costs and make sure
everything is paid my eldest niece had already started college so i pay the amount already paid to her parents to keep everything fair she managed to finish within the four years and had some money left over i had an accountant who's my dear friend find out what would be beneficial to my brother and one of my sister-in-laws in regards to their mortgage i paid off the majority for both of them my parents were sent on a nice trip since their house has already paid off and for both of my in-laws and other sister-in-law rent so
i paid a certain amount so they can save that money part of the money goes to charity at home and abroad i also set up some college funds for the children of our closest friends and family members as a treat my husband ello and i went on a paid by us slash me vacation with both my extended family and his now at this point everyone is very grateful however one of the sister-in-laws always has a need to be in the spotlight or that one or all of her children need to be she's nice to my
face but i know for a fact she has been bad mouthing me making passive aggressive remarks about me and my work and my person but always in such a manner that you would be the b jerk if you would say something my usual tactic and one that always works is play the innocent slash dumb one and nitpick what she says i have managed to shut her up many times without being classified as a bee so the past few years my sister-in-law has been hinting that i should pay for a very nice all-inclusive resort holiday for
her and her family abroad since i have the money note they have money saved that would have initially been used for the college funds of their kids money that has barely been used the pandemic hit and she has been silent she and her husband took and still take it very seriously now the restrictions are mostly lifted she had a birthday party for her and her son since her son really wanted to have a birthday party no biggie we show up with a gift for her and her son and all as well birthday boy got a
voucher to buy a tent or the camping gear he wanted my sister-in-law got a voucher to use whatever way she wanted i added some sunscreen drinks and such as i knew she wanted to go on a holiday of some sorts or so we thought she asks what are our holiday plans we say that we won't be crossing any foreign borders stay in our home country but we booked a cabin somewhere for a week very nice not luxurious or anything we would still need to cook and do the grocery shopping my sister-in-law starts the oh how
nice routine we are still thinking about what we want to do my lovely husband and i both have an inkling which he's hinting at but we start spouting ideas in the hopes of avoiding tragedy we have family in one place maybe they could stay there for a weekend or so there's a campsite somewhere else with entertainment for children of various ages then it comes she shows us something she found on the world wide web and to be honest it looks amazing not too luxurious but still very nice all-inclusive water park for the kids spa sensor
the whole shebang price tag for a family of seven 35 000 dollars so my husband says that's a lot but is glad they saved so much to do this my sister-in-law goes oh we don't we thought you would be paying as my birthday gift say what people she just told us what she was looking at no scratch that she expected me to give 35 000 as a gift for her birthday just because i have the money she goes on that i earn enough and their family and our godson and the other nieces and nephews have
been promised already and so forth we all sat stunned in silence birthday boy and two of his sisters even look up to see what we would say while we were playing with our little ones my husband just started laughing thinking it was a joke my father-in-law just sat there and looked on and i did a seemingly very good impression of a fish no my sister-in-law was dead serious you have the money you can just give it you won't miss it this woman has shown her disdain for me and my work many times in a very
sweet passive-aggressive manner so that it is hard to call her out on it me my husband and even her father still have done so i just sat there and listened how she widened her eyes trying to look sweet something she does every time she wants something and giving all the reasons why we should give the money without counting the voucher we already gave her i then regained my wits and say the full sentence she didn't want to hear but you have the money i have the money that is true so you can pay for it
i could indeed interrupting me oh that's great but i won't but but but but we deserve it you won't even miss it we're family yep unfortunately you and i are family now i love being a family of your kids however i said fact we are indeed family fact we all deserve a nice holiday after the fluff show called coven false i would surely miss it since it won't be in the bank account i intended that one as a joke my sister-in-law and brother-in-law continue to rant about how much they think i should pay for it
i said listen you have shown me many times that you do not respect me or my line of work you do not respect the fact that i worked very hard and made sacrifices to earn this money you do not respect the fact that i have paid off your mortgage paid for the college education of your children and even some money for their own place you bad mouth me call me names and even told people that my husband should divorce me my sister-in-law is trying so hard to deny it and my brother-in-law calls me a liar
my father-in-law joins and insides with me her own children can tell their father that they have heard their own mother say horrible things about me the birthday boy even recorded one conversation she had with someone while he was making a tick tock video he showed this and my brother-in-law went mute the conversation continues my sister-in-law notices she won't get the expensive holiday she wanted and says fine they don't pay for this holiday the least you can do is pay for plane tickets and let us stay at your holiday home favorite holiday destination remember i rented
out to a local family for most of the year due to kovid they have to stay there as they can't slash are afraid to travel i said not happening first of all that family can't leave second of all you don't get to make demands that voucher you got has a very generous amount of money on it for you to use in any way that you please maybe towards a holiday third we already went on a paid by us me holiday so you got a paid for holiday already and fourth if you want more money then
get a job that will pay more you have a degree last you treat me like crap and still expect me just to hand over my hard-earned money my sister-in-law starts the waterworks and turns to her father who completely sided with me he told her he understood me he told her he knew how hard i worked and the sacrifices me and my husband made for this my husband is pissed he sees red and tells his sister in no uncertain terms that this won't be happening and how dare they he tells her that we're leaving we pack
up the kids and go home later we get a call my mother-in-law has fm tendencies as this sister-in-law is her favorite she tries the whole spiel about how hard they had it before i came into money and helped them etc my husband dealt with her perfectly and she understood after a lengthy conversation now is where i just laugh apparently my sister-in-law's kids are pissed that she pulled this stunt and went into full rebel mode we have a great relationship and seemed afraid that this would influence it they managed to come by and we had a
heart to heart i told them we didn't blame them for the actions of their parents i explained to them the reasons for not handing out money like that after the initial gifts and the youngest team decide more with their mom and dad but the rest said they understood they know about their generous college slash home funds i stated to them that we wouldn't want for them to do anything against their parents as they still live there they stayed for dinner and then went home as of now the kids are barely talking to their parents they
still do their chores let them know things but that's it flying monkeys in the form of other family members came in as my sister-in-law had sent them messages and called them a simple facebook post by birthday boy with the video put a stop to that my sister-in-law and brother-in-law had an enormous backlash by the flying monkeys calling them out they have been uninvited to certain events we have received apologies from the flying monkeys some told me that they had a hard time as they understood both her and me the only thing that bothers me is
the fact that my parents-in-laws are caught in the middle especially my mother-in-law who is very family oriented i know some of you might slash will wonder why i won't just give the money one of the reasons why is the way that she has treated me even before i came into the money another reason is that i simply feel uncomfortable just handing out money i simply ask for you to give your opinion in a kindly fashion am i the jerk for not paying so here is part two to this whole story my sister-in-law was very disappointed
and angry that i didn't bow down to her every whim and pay for a holiday we had some flying monkeys come in because of my sister-in-law most backed down and understood where we stood and left us alone unfortunately the whole family on my husband's side now knows that we have a bank account with a lot of money in it as my sister-in-law had called a lot of family members to complain and spill the beans they began talking amongst themselves and their children some of the aunts uncles and cousins didn't think it was fair that i
paid for some college funds for some of the children of cousins and that i paid for a family holiday a couple of days after the fallout with my sister-in-law and aunt and uncle call something that they never do i put my phone on speaker as i was busy with folding the laundry and they asked how everything is going how we were holding up during coven and such we exchanged some experiences and then they both go like this this is the start of the conversation they say listen we hear you have some college funds set up
for some of the children of certain cousins is this true yes that's true i'm no liar is it true that you took mother-in-law father-in-law's sister-in-law one sister-in-law two and family with you on holiday me yes you also have a holiday at home yes we do but why do you want and need to know we never knew you had so much money well a lot of hard work sacrifices and dedication and luck were a part of it aha well you have to pay for our grandchildren's college funds as well and we want to go on holiday
with our children too we deserve it too me in shock silence we're a family so you have to pay me less shock silence yes we want college funds for your six grandchildren each consisting of eight hundred thousand dollars for each child then we want a holiday home like yours but in this location we already have one we want and we'll send you the information and that also goes for our family holiday or a family and since you have the money you can pay for us too i was in piss silence they continue to rant that
they deserve it because their family and family takes care of each other my husband meanwhile had heard everything was getting angrier i had pressed a record button halfway through the conversation and asked them to repeat their demands i eventually asked them if they had more to say which they hadn't i just flat out said that it wasn't going to happen they might think they're entitled to my money but they weren't i quoted that phrase that they and many of the family give us when my husband and i didn't have the money and we were in
a tight spot because we had a health scare we asked every family member if we can borrow some money and we would pay it back only three of the nine aunts and uncles helped us and we paid them back the quotes it's your responsibility to have and save enough money for the care well-being and education of your family if you can't then you don't deserve them we won't be giving you any money stunned silence on their side i told them to relay the message to the rest and to not call us with such demands and
i hung up the phone my husband was very proud in the weeks that followed some of the other aunts and uncles and cousins called with the same only those aunts uncles who helped us in our time of need called and told us to say that it is our money and that they have seen plenty of it and don't ask for more one cousin called and asked for a certified loan for a down payment on a house something i have agreed to they had the majority save but came short one thousand dollars they had to pay
for its universe they could get the house sooner just now i saw that i received the first half of it that also raised hell then with the aunts uncles and cousins we had a zoom call and i explained to them my reasons for not doing this i told them that they could always come to me when they truly needed financial help but under a legal contracts so that neither party would feel themselves getting screwed over my cousin who borrowed some money even showed the certified slash notarized loan mo seemed to understand but not entirely happy
but they knew they could come for help but for some it wasn't then came the cherry on top i came home last week on a weekday to find a lot of parked cars in an otherwise almost empty street i had to pass my house in order to park somewhere else around 15 to 20 of aunts uncles and cousins had gathered in the front yard so much for social distancing afterwards there were three aunts three uncles and some cousins and their spouses i just parked the car and walked back home another thing that a few people
know is don't mess with me i am told that my right hook is very painful so while walking back i called the non-emergency line of our local police station i told them the situation and telling them that crap might hit the fan if they come and assist in case it got out of hand they would send some cops and then crap hit the fan the moment i stepped inside of people they started screaming cursing telling me to pay up or they will make sure that i'll pay one way or another all the while cornering me
some of the people poked their finger close to my face in my chest and my arms and i told them multiple times to stop what they were doing and leave some time though during this more cops were called by some neighbors as well and when they arrived they were trying to get me then one uncle made a big mistake he slapped me a man of about six foot three slapped me a woman of just five foot two across the face in full view of the cops the crowd went silent as he put his face almost
in my face and went on a rant about how i had to obey him as one of the elders of the family all the while with his hand raised as he would slap me again he couldn't continue his rant i knocked him to the ground he stayed down not unconscious but quite rattled and stunned that i had punched him this was apparently what the cops needed as well the family members were stunned and the cops managed for them to get away from me they were pissed a couple of aunts uncles and cousins managed to make
a run to their car and drive away the rest to meet with some very angry cops some fines for breaking social distancing rules and the expectation that charges might be pressed against them i'm fine i had some bruised fingers and my uncle had a broken cheekbone and my lovely cameras are now in the hands of the da the other family members have distanced themselves from the crap that happened to be honest i feel terrible i feel like dividing a family because i just don't hand out my money my husband says that this is money that
i worked hard for so i get to decide what happens still i'm thinking of setting some college funds aside for the rest of the children though i'm doubting that it would also seem that i don't stand my ground it can be persuaded with violence threats and harassment i am so so sick of it am i the jerk it seems like a lot of times when people come into a lot of money like this whether it be through inheritance through work success or otherwise somehow their closest relationships end up getting botched like this and a situation
like this is even more surprising because it sounds like the op actually had a very comprehensive full-fledged plan that seemed bulletproof i mean how can you complain about having your entire mortgage paid off your kids college covered and maybe even a down payment for them in the future depending on how long it takes them to go to college i mean the op even went as far as to compensate the parents for the kid that was already in college show would be fair so it seems like the op thought of pretty much everything that she could
do in order to make this is fair and helpful to her family that is far far far far more than most people would probably do but yet the sister-in-law is still bad-mouthing the op through all of that when from the way it sounds the op was very kind not only to her but to everyone in this family casually asking for a 35 000 seven person vacation is just bonkers and it sounds like she's asking for a vacation without the op unless i'm misunderstanding that based on the number of people that that vacation is for she
wants the op to pay 35 000 for a vacation she won't even be able to be at and maybe she thinks that's normal because of the precedent that has been set through paying off everyone's mortgage and going on this previous vacation but wow anyway if you were the op in this situation you came into a ton of money how would you spend it and if you would spend it on your family how would you avoid a situation like this let me know down below with a jerk or not a jerk and why
