so in this video I want to share five masculine secrets that make you insanely attractive to women and transform you into the type of guy that girls naturally Chase my name is Bobby Rio and I've been coaching guys in their dating lives for over 13 years now and the reason that I decided to create this specific video is to answer a couple things that I've been hearing one is that there's a lot of guys that say I'm not comfortable having to play games and why do I have to be somebody that I'm not or all
of this seems like too much work and if you fall into that category of I don't want to have to play games this video is really going to resonate with you because I'm going to show you that it's not about being playing games or being someone you're not it's about embracing the masculine qualities that women naturally find attractive the second reason that I wanted to create this video is because I think there's a lot of misinformation or a lot of especially come coming from the media where they sort of derogatize this term being masculine and
I've noticed that a lot of guys that come to me for coaching guys that I work with are almost scared nowadays to embrace this masculinity they think that they're going to get in trouble or it's not what women want when in fact as I'm going to prove to you in this video being masculine is exactly what women want it's all about how you project this masculinity and also what your definition of masculinity is for a long time I used to think of masculinity as the the tough guy right the tough alpha male guy who was
getting into fights and you know throwing his weight around you know the kind of like a Tony Soprano type of guy but what I've come to understand over the past several years is masculinity is not about any of that it's about the five secrets that I'm gonna share in this video and these five Secrets like I said turn you into the type of guy that women are naturally attracted to so I want to get into each of them go through them and show you more importantly how you can begin implementing them and demonstrating them in
your own life so the first masculine Secret is emotional autonomy now I often talk about this term autonomy and autonomy means self-governing independent a man who's going somewhere a man on his mission and what I've noticed is that a lot of my clients instinctively pick up on this idea that yeah I've got to have goals in life and I've got to be focused on other areas of my life but there's a type of autonomy that really is important when it comes to keeping a woman attracted to you and projecting that masculinity around her and that
is emotional autonomy right emotional autonomy is you want to think of it almost as emotional control okay how well are you able to control your emotions when you're with a woman and how much take control of your emotions this is something that you'll notice where a guy might say I'm really really really focused I have a lot of goals in my life and I'm really into my career but then he meets a woman and things get a little rocky he gets a little confused he he goes into emotional quicksand right and as even though he
says hey I'm totally autonomous and I've got things going on in my life this woman not texting him back has taken emotional control right a woman who then maybe he's hanging out with her and she disagrees with somebody something he says and he gets noticeably upset right she's got emotional control over him it could be something like a woman doing something and he feels jealousy and that jealousy takes over and he can't control himself so being masculine is about this ability to have emotional control over yourself especially when it comes to the women that we
really really like because that's where that control tends to diminish right every guy in the world can be totally in control of his emotions when he's hanging out with a girl that he doesn't really like it's when we really start to feel for someone that all of the sudden it's almost like we subconsciously hand that person control over our emotions and this means if she doesn't text us back our emotions kind of lead us to oh no and we're sitting there and we're staring at our phone and then we make the wrong decisions when we
do talk to her and we wind up like going overboard trying to impress her because we're acting on emotion being masculine is simply separating how you feel about a woman this is not like saying you can't be attracted to a woman you can't have feelings for a woman but it's about saying that what happens in this area of my life is simply boxed into this area and it's not going to affect this area of my life now we have to do this in all areas of our life right there's some guys where they have no
emotional control when it comes to their career we've all met these guys where they had a bad day at work and then they're hanging out with us and they're like in a bad mood they're moping they're they're you know they're aggressive and they're they're they're kind of Snappy because they had a bad day at work right they were unable to separate the emotions they felt at work with this other area of their life well you have to be that way with women you have to understand that the feelings that she's putting inside you are you're
in control of them not her and that is really what masculinity is and women actually want this right they don't want to have control over you now there's a few other ways that this plays out right it could be your self-esteem is dictated by what's going on in your relationship so this means that if if a woman turns you down or rejects you or chooses another guy over you your self-esteem drops right she's got control over your self-esteem this plays out in in other ways right fear is an emotion and a masculine man acts in
spite of his fear so a masculine guy May kind of feel a fear right we all we all see the guy who walks over and starts a conversation with a random beautiful woman and we assume he doesn't have fear the truth is he has that same butterflies that same self-doubt but he acts in spite of that fear and that's really what masculinity is it's being able to control that emotion and act anyway so let me give you another example of how this emotional autonomy plays out so it's about emotions affecting your boundaries and not letting
that happen so if you have something in your life that's really important to you a value that you hold okay a value could be something like when I'm with somebody I don't want them texting on the phone and being on their phone the whole time okay and that's a value you have and then you're hanging out with a woman on a date and she's on her phone all the time right you can't let this feeling right this emotion well I really like this woman affect your value follow you a masculine man is still going to
be assertive and say hey hey let's hang out put your phone away and let's let's talk right come on we're on a date let's talk like you don't have to be mean about it you don't have to like scold her but you assert your boundary in spite of the emotion of I like this woman you're still going to assert that boundary that's what emotional autonomy means and when a woman meets a man who's emotionally autonomous he's naturally a challenge to her right I said earlier that women Chase these kinds of guys because they're naturally a
challenge so let's talk about the next aspect of the secrets of masculinity and this one in a way relates to that right and this is the idea of being non -reactive now you may have heard this term before but this means can a woman get a reaction out of you and there's a reason that women do this and if you study sort of the Dynamics of masculinity and femininity and you really I kind of nerd out on topics and I really get into it and learning about it the more you read about it the more
you kind of realize that women are in essence this constant flow of emotions right in any given moment their emotions are running wild they're feeling all different things they don't even realize that they're feeling them so they're throwing comments out there they're doing things that confuse us and as a man what a woman is really looking for is that sturdiness okay masculinity is sturdiness it's being the Rock and what happens to a lot of guys is when they're faced with this emotional energy from a Woman They react to it immediately so a common example I
give of reacting to a woman is when a woman gives you maybe unsolicited advice or feedback so maybe a woman you're talking to a woman and and you tell her that you're an accountant and she goes oh every account I know is so boring right well you're gonna feel an emotion right in that moment and if you react to that emotion you're essentially feeding into that feminine energy right that feminine energy is the drama that we see on Housewives of Beverly Hills right it's it feminine energy is essentially soap opera type drama that's not masculine
energy we don't watch those type of things right masculine energy is not that and you want to respond with masculine energy so if a woman says you know accountants are so boring be like oh yeah okay and just smile at it right just let it roll off you that's what being non-reactive is it's like she's not gonna suck you in to that emotional turbulence she's feeling and she doesn't want to it may appear like she wants to but really she wants somebody who's gonna like be ground her a little bit right get her stable this
happens even in relationships it's something that took me a long time to figure out with various women that I'm dating and woman I'm with now where it's like a woman may say you don't do this or you don't do that and our natural reaction is to go yes I do I do this all the time you know she says you never you never tell me you love me I tell you I love you all the time right you're crazy what do you mean I don't tell you right like that's reacting whereas being non-reactive is simply
saying come here babe you know I love you don't you know I don't be silly you know I love you that's being like sturdy right that's actually what she wants she wants sturdiness she doesn't want the guy who when she goes you never help out you never take the garbage out what do you mean I don't take the garbage out right that's reacting you need to in that moment go babe I will give me the garbage I'm gonna take it out right now like and just be like sturdy that's what's attractive to women that sturdiness
whether it's a woman you're in a relationship with or it's a woman that you're on a first date with it's like be a rock be sturdy don't let her see that you're able to swing emotionally one way or another right even something like jealousy we often I think we talked about jealousy in the previous section where if a woman is like trying to make you jealous it's like you don't want to react we've seen guys who are like uh what are you doing like that's reacting this doesn't mean you can't assert a boundary like I
said you can quite simply say Hey listen I think the way that you're acting is kind of um inappropriate you know I'm just letting you know that I feel like it's a little appropriate but getting all upset and storming out like that's feeding into feminine energy and that actually turns a woman off right she wants you to be that rock that sturdiness that balances her emotional turbulence so let's get into the next one all right so number three is desire plus respect okay so I think this is a very important masculine secret that a lot
of guys don't quite comprehend because when I deal with clients and I deal with men in general and I'm talking to people there's there's very rarely a balance of these two things which confuses a lot of guys because we get mixed messages again I mentioned the media earlier which portrays like toxic masculinity and all these like me too and Harvey Weinstein type of guys and the reason that this is happening is because these guys have desire but they don't have respect right they don't respect women they desire women and they act on that desire but
they don't have respect on the other hand I deal with a lot of clients who project a lot of respect for a woman I was working with a client recently and we were going over a situation with a woman that he's been dating and he's like been dating her for a month now and I go hey so like you know are you guys sleeping together and he's like no no no like she's not that type of girl and I I feel like it's kind of too soon right and he respects her but he's not projecting
desire for her and masculinity is desire and respect right I often say my friend Chris Anderson has a term escalation is attractive okay meaning that the man who goes after what he wants who's expresses his desire for a woman that is naturally attractive to a woman but you have to attach respect to it this means that if if you're saying to yourself well the date was going really well I sensed A vibe but if if I ask her home at the end of the night and I say hey why don't hey you want to come
back to my place that's expressing desire right that's good now a guy says well that's gonna make her think that I just want sex or that I I don't respect her but the fact is is that if you're asking her back to your place all you have to do is show respect if she says it's too soon you respect that you're not like Harvey Weinstein in that video at the hotel where he's like come on just come in for a second come on one second please if she says it's too soon you say oh I
totally respect that I'll see you next time right respect her boundaries women have boundaries project your desire and if you have if she expresses a boundary you simply respect that boundary women like that right because it allows them to feel comfortable around you you think that by never expressing desire that a woman is comfortable but really she's uncomfortable because what you're really expressing is that sex is this huge deal for you right and now for her it's like oh my god when I finally do go up to this guy's apartment it's going to be this
huge deal which is why right off the bat you want to always be expressing desire and respect desire is telling a woman hey you know you look really sexy respect is her if you notice that she's uncomfortable with it you just kind of you don't you don't keep with it right you always have to mix desire and respect that's very masculine women want to be desired but they also want to be respected and if you combine those two you're in The Sweet Spot you're in the spot that she is naturally attracted to you so before
we get into the next one I do want to tell you that I have a entire free training online called three steps to power value and status and this class really dives into this concept of what makes a powerful man what makes a socially high value High status man because I think there's a misinformation regarding that right just like masculinity there's this idea that in order to be high status or high value to a woman you have to have a lot of money or you're a lot of connections or you got to be doing all
kinds of like you know uh trips to Ibiza and hanging out on yachts and that has nothing to do with being high status High status is all about the internal price that you put on yourself and how you project that to a woman and what the class does is it shows you how to place value on yourself and then how to communicate that value and then how to build a reputation amongst all the people in your social life as being this high value High status man so there's a link to that class below it's completely
free so let's get into the fourth masculine secret and this one is the D idolization of women okay the de-idolization of women what does this mean so this is a concept really that comes from psychology and what it means is that throughout our our childhood and into our adolescents humans are conditioned to idolize our parents meaning we put our parents up on a bit of a pedestal we don't really see them as real people and because of that we act differently around them than we do other people right we when when you're when you're nine
years old you don't act the same way towards your parents as you do towards your friends or even other adults in your life because you have them you don't necessarily see them as real people you see them as somebody you constantly need to get approval from you see some you see them as people that need to validate you well what happens to a lot of guys and even a lot of women but this video is is is in in terms of the men is we replace our parents that idolization that we have towards our parents
and when we hit our you know maybe high school or college age we begin to then idolize women where that same approval seeking behavior that we see and experience with our parents begins to seep out with women that same element of not necessarily being ourselves around our parents now is how we act around women where we're like a different we've all seen we've I've been that person and I can recognize that in my own group of friends where there's still guys in their 30s or 40s or even 50s who when you hang out with them
in a group of guys they're one you know person and then you put them around a woman and they totally become this like totally different person and it's like why are you changing who you are around these women right and that's because they have women in this idolization role it's maybe the pedestal we can call it and being masculine is about essentially taking women off this pedestal not idolizing them and seeing them as normal people this is really important because one of the things that I really saw an improvement in my dating life was when
I started working in the restaurant on business years ago as a first as a waiter and then as a bartender and I was surrounded by waitresses that I worked with all day and I began talking to them and spending a lot of time just hanging out and talking to them and the biggest Insight that this all gave me was that they're just people right they have insecurities they have like problems in their life and they they like have fears and there's guys that they like that aren't calling them back and there's like they have problems
with their boss and they feel ugly and they feel fat and they like they're just people and when you begin to experience that and really understand that they're just people just like us and you talk to them like that that is very masculine because it's like oh he just gets it he's just a man I'm just a woman we're not different right I'm not I'm not this like Sublime creature that he has to impress and that's something that women want to see from you this also plays out and this kind of goes back to that
last concept of of desire and respect a woman but it also means that like women like sex right and a lot of times again especially when it's like a good girl like we have her as a good girl in our mind we idolize her as this like sacred Angelic woman who would never ever want to have sex right but really she's just a girl who enjoys having orgasms and you know all that sort of stuff just like every other woman in the world just like we do right and a man a mature masculine man understands
that sex is not a big deal to him right so a masculine man when he meets a woman he doesn't attach excess meaning to sex sex is just what two people do so when he hangs out with a with he hangs out with her and he's on a date with her and things are going well he just assumes like oh of course she's going to want to have sex right again he respects her boundaries if she says no or if she's not interested or whatever but he doesn't idolize her and say she probably is gonna
she needs to wait two weeks or she needs to wait three weeks right that's idolization that's what nice guys tend to do right and that's why nice guys are often seem as feminine because they they have women up on this pedestal and they don't see them as real people right they idolize them and women don't want to be idolized right because if you think about Evolution the masculine right if there's the masculine feminine polarity the masculine has traditionally evolutionary been the strength right and the femininity is sort of the like I don't want to say
weakness but it's the weaker energy meaning the masculine is the stronger energy feminine is the weaker energy and you want to project that you want to be the masculine because that is actually what makes men attractive to women right if we were just women and we just acted like women they would not be attracted to us it doesn't matter what you hear what the media says what small group of people on Twitter complain about like in the real world women still want masculine men right if you want like you you can't get sucked in to
what you're hearing because that's not what it's like in the real world in the real world women respond to a masculine man so the fifth masculine secret that I want to share is a simple one and I'm not going to dwell on this one too much but it's be in control okay masculinity is about control it's not about controlling a woman let's be clear I'm not saying you control a woman but you control the situation if you're with a woman think of it as like I'm gonna control this I'm gonna make everything as comfortable for
her as possible now how do you do this an example could simply be if you're out at a restaurant and you know you need to get the waiter's attention right you have to take the control you have to be the one to say even if it's her that needs her drink refilled and she's like you know hey I need a new drink or whatever you go hey hey can you get her a new drink like that's control that's taking control taking control is if you're out at a place and the place is like really really
crowded and you're not sure like does she like this place or does she not like this place I don't really like this place control is saying you know this place kind of sucks I know I know a better place let's go to it like what the nice guy does or what the guy who lacks this like leadership might go hey do you like this should we stay here or do you want to go just take control be like hey I know a better place this place is not good control is accepting that you are responsible
for making things happen in every element of the inter interaction and the escalation right so control is going right we've been hanging out it's going well she she's obviously into me I'm into her so it's time to progress this a little bit so that may be hey let's go get a drink and you grab her hand and you walk her through the restaurant or the bar and now you've established that next right you've moved up that ladder of intimacy and you were the one who took control took her hand and walked her there being in
control is saying hey we've been hanging out like I want to kiss her I'm not gonna like wait and have her go hey kiss me already I'm just gonna take control and I'm gonna kiss her I'm gonna respect her boundaries right but I'm gonna go for the kiss I'm in control I'm controlling the environment I'm not controlling her I'm controlling myself and I'm controlling the environment to make this as pleasant of a interaction and experience for her as possible now one thing I want to say there right is being in control and making this comfortable
and pleasant for her does not mean kissing her ass and like you know this is again you're not idolizing her it just means that the things that are a masculine responsibility of being the leader being the decision maker that's within your control and those are the things that you want to control so let's review real fast the five masculine secrets that we just went over the first is emotional autonomy and this essentially means that whatever your values are your personal boundaries are your goals are you don't let the emotions a woman is making you feel
change that so if a woman is doing something that you don't like or you feel is disrespectful but your emotions are well I really like this woman and now you have fear right you're you have fear of well if I if I stand up to myself or if I disagree with her she's not gonna like me anymore you now have no longer experiencing emotional autonomy and being masculine is about holding on to that emotional autonomy the second one is being non-reactive and this is essentially we talked about the feminine masculine polarity and femininity is a
very reactive it's a very emotionally turbulent energy and you don't want to get sucked into that so if you're with a woman and she makes a comment like we're not gonna I'm not going home with you tonight or I'm not going to sleep with you right you just sort of say of course not and you keep talking to her you don't get sucked in you don't emotionally React to what she's saying you just let it roll off you because you're the the strong masculine energy you don't get sucked into her feminine energy the third is
the idea of desire and respect and we talked about how desire without respect is creepy that's the guy who's the creepy guy that's the Harvey Weinstein guy on the other hand the guy who projects that he respects a woman without Desiring her is the guy the nice guy the guy who lines up in the friend zone you want to combine desire and respect and that is a masculine trait that women find very attractive the next is the de-identization of women and we talked about how we went a lot of guys go from idolizing their parents
and seeking approval from their parents and not seeing their parents as human beings to then putting that same idolization onto the women in their life that they like where they now feel that they need women's approval and they don't treat women as people they treat them as these like up on a pedestal and masculinity is about treating them like an equal treating them like another human being and then we talked about the idea of control and that concept is simply meaning that it's your responsibility to take control of an interaction if you sense that the
date is not going well or this location that you chose is kind of boring to Simply say hey I know a better place let's go there at the end of the night it's your responsibility to go for the kiss you have to be in control of moving things forward so all of this is about the masculine Secrets now as I mentioned earlier I also have a class this class goes deep into the idea of value status and Charisma because most guys associate these things right status value all these things with like money or things like
being out on a boat with private jets but really what these things are about is your internal level of how much value you demand from people right are you a natural are you a man that puts a high price tag on himself so when people meet you they see you as that high status guy so what the court with the free class low does is it walks you through the three steps the first step is how do I project that I'm a high value man and we talk about 12 ways 12 characteristics of that man
that's naturally seen as high value then we talk about how to communicate it so when you're talking to a woman how do you communicate this value without sounding like you're trying to impress her right because it it's not at all about in fact trying to impress somebody lowers your value communicating your value is talking from a place of being high status right the way you talk to her the way you communicate with her is from a place of status the third part of the class is how to build a reputation throughout your social scene as
that guy that high status guy and it's a lot easier than most guys think because as we mentioned as I mentioned earlier in the class it's all about perception it's all about how people perceive you and you can control the way somebody perceives you that's a really important distinction you are in control of how you're perceived by other people and that's what this class digs into is how to control that perception so you're seen by the women in your life as having high value as having high status and as being socially powerful so I have
a link to that class below I also if you like this video hit like subscribe to my channel and leave me a comment letting me know what you'd like me to cover in the next video foreign [Music]
