it's a quirk of our minds that not every emotion we carry is fully acknowledged understood or even truly felt there are feelings that exist in an unprocessed form within us a great many worries may for example remain disavowed and uninterpreted and manifests themselves as powerful directionless anxiety under their sway we may feel a compulsive need to remain busy fear spending any time on our own or cling to activities that ensure we don't meet what scares us head-on these activities might include internet pornography tracking the news or exercising compulsively a similar kind of disavowal can go
on around hurt someone may have abused our trust made us doubt their kindness or violated our self-esteem but we're driven to flee a frank recognition of an appalling degree of exposure and vulnerability the hurt is somewhere inside us but on the surface we are dropped a brittle good cheer jolliness being sadness that doesn't know itself we numb ourselves chemically or else we adopt a carefully nonspecific tone of cynicism which masks the very specific wound that's been inflicted on us we pay dearly for our failure to process our feelings our minds grow unoriginal from a background
fear about their contents we grow depressed about everything because we cannot be sad about something we can no longer sleep insomnia being the Revenge of all the many thoughts we've omitted to process in the day we need compassion for ourselves we avoid processing emotions because what we feel is so contrary to our self-image so threatening to our society's ideas of normality and so at odds with who we would really like to be an atmosphere conducive to processing emotions would be one in which the difficulties of being human were warmly recognized and charitably accepted we fail
to know ourselves not out of laziness or casual neglect it simply hurts a lot processing emotions requires good friends two deft therapists and ritual moments like philosophical meditation in which our normal defenses can safely be put aside an unfamiliar material ring-fenced for investigation the outcome of processing our emotions is always an alleviation in our general mood but first we must pay for our self-awareness with a period of mourning in which we gradually acknowledge that in some area or other life is simply a lot sadder than we would want it to be we publish new thought-provoking
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