my wife got jealous that our son was spending more time with me than with her and decided to peace out posted by you/ throwaway 37387 282 I 36m have been married to my wife 36f for 15 years now we got married during our senior year of college upon graduation she worked for 3 years to help support our finances while I was in law school during my last year of law school my wife got pregnant with our son zann 12m after his birth and my graduation I found work at a big firm in NYC I began
making a good six-figure income and my wife asked if she could become a stay-at-home mom to help raise our son I agreed and told her I would cover the household finances we never had any issues with this Arrangement true I worked long hours but she understood the house was always clean and there was always food ready when I got home it was a great Dynamic the only issue was that I rarely saw my kid Zayn was usually asleep by the time I got home because I would get home late Zayn and his mom were close
because they spent so much time together fast forward to 2020 and Co hit during covid firms including the one I worked at moved to remote work I was happy because I could work from home and spend more time with my wife and kid Zayn loved it he would bring his Legos and toys into my room sit on the floor and play near me we could talk and have a good time at first my wife was happy about it she liked seeing us together and she would join us in the room too I would do my
work and they would hang around however if everything had stayed great I wouldn't be writing this it's been 3 years since 2020 and my firm still allows remote work work so I still take advantage of it Zayn still comes into to play on his switch or iPad and even does his school workk in there while I work my wife doesn't join us anymore she just sits in the other room watching TV a few nights ago I asked her if everything was okay and she got loud and angry which she has never done before she began
accusing me of stealing Zayn from her she said it used to be just the two of them laughing and having fun but now all he wants to do is stay near my office or in my office I was shocked I told my wife that he is my kid too and that with me here we can all spend time together unlike before when I couldn't she said I was trying to emotionally steal her son from her I reminded her again that he is my son too and I deserve to be around him as much as she
does my wife began crying packed an overnight bag and decided to stay with her sister I was left dumbfounded by how quickly the conversation had gone South it's been 3 days since she left and her texts have been dry basically just asking me to go back to working onsite at my firm I don't want to do this as I'd much rather work from home closer to my family I've spoken with her sister who says she sees no issue with what I am doing and said she will try to reason with my wife I told one
of my friends and he asked if it was possible that Zayn wasn't my kid and that my wife was feeling guilty seeing us together I told him that wasn't possible not only because my wife has never shown any signs of being unfaithful even while we were dating but also because we did a paternity test for peace of mind that was the lawyer part of me we also have security cameras in and around the house due to two security incidents a few years ago my wife never leaves without texting me and nothing is off at home
we also share each other's locations on our iPhones so I doubt there's an affair hair being covered up she also still spends a lot of time with Zayn and enjoys taking him out when they go somewhere Zayn is wondering where Mom is and I am left really confused has anyone ever dealt with something like this before any thoughts on what I should do update 2 days later good update I went to speak with my wife the night I made this post I went over to her sister's house to try and understand why she said what
she said upon seeing me she immediately began crying and asking me to forgive her saying she was sorry for what she had said apparently she had talked with her sister who explaining to her that our son was growing up and becoming more independent the majority of the comments on the original post were right she had been a stay-at-home mom for the past 12 years but now that our son was exploring his independence she didn't know what to do and felt lost I asked her what caused the big blowup and she said that our son had
told her he wanted to stop doing their weekly baking Saturdays because he wanted to start watching college football with me instead his school is also asking them to explore their extracurriculars for next year and my wife wanted him to do a cooking extracurricular that the school provides he told her he didn't want to do that and instead wanted to start playing football important to note that in my office where I said my son spends a lot of time there's a lot of my football memorabilia I played in high school as did my brother and my
father I have a few trophies and a state championship bring that Zayn likes to hold and look at no I didn't play in college I was a backup on the team basically what did it for her was that Zay started to ignore all the old Hobbies they did together and wanted to align himself with my interests she felt the connection between them weakening she was in tears the entire time she was speaking I listened to her and understood where she was coming from it can't be easy to have your identity attached to one thing and
then have that one thing change I asked her why she was gone for 3 days she said she didn't mean to be gone for that long but when her sister mentioned she had put her entire identity into her son she thought it would be a good idea to be away for a few days to give herself some separation I told her that he will always be her son and that she will always hold a special place in his heart no matter how old he gets or how his interests change he will always need his mom
he's just changing and part of our job as parents is to embrace that change and support him she came home with me that night she hugged Zay and cried telling him that she was sorry for leaving I took your advice and suggested family counseling marriage counseling or individual therapy she said she would like to put off the first two for now but did ask for help finding a therapist for herself so that should help I suggested she get a job or find something to do so that her entire identity isn't being a mom she said
she doesn't like her college degree so I told her to go back to school if she wants and I'll foot the bill she's planning on attending culinary school and wants to open a YouTube Cooking Channel and I told her I'm behind her 100% she also wanted to start working at her friend's Bakery so she will be starting there next month I also suggested group family time so that the three of us can do more activities together I'm also asking Zayn if he would want to have designated mom time and designated dad time he can do
activities with his mom and I can do activities with him he asked me to help him practice football so I'm thrilled to do that with him we also decided that Mom and Dad need to have their alone time so Zayn is going to get more free time to himself the past two nights have been great and I'm happy to see my wife happy and back home with us thank you than you guys for all your support and comments a few answers to questions from the comments last time one why does my wife have to text
me when she is going somewhere she doesn't we both text each other out of our free will this is NYC and we have both been mugged before this is a protective measure so we know where the other is in case anything happens two why did I ask for a paternity test if I knew she didn't cheat when she gave birth I was working at a family law clinic during my last year of law school I had to be around couples who were finding out that their children weren't actually theirs years later or hearing how people
didn't truly love their significant others it made me a bit paranoid and my wife understood that which is why she was okay with me requesting one was it stupid in hindsight yes if current me were the me back then he definitely wouldn't have asked for one
