Michael Singer - Taking Charge of Your Inner State

G gy Masters people are always looking for techniques asking for techniques what's the best technique how do I do this my experience is you're going to do techniques you need to learn to do things but that's not what it's all about don't make the spiritual path be about techniques because it's not about techniques it's really very simple now once you get the Simplicity of it you Can see what tools you need to help you along the way but the tools are not the path they are just AIDs that can help you so what is the

Simplicity of spiritual growth it's as follows the inside where you live can either be nice or not nice maybe you've noticed it can be pleasant you can feel love joy enthusiasm positiveness self-confidence that's possible that these are inner states they have nothing To do with the outside life the inner states that you experience it can also be scared depressed self-conscious embarrassed ashamed guilty lots of little fun things buggies running around in there that are not comfortable it's just not comfortable as simple as that you feel those things and they make you feel very uncomfortable you

feel the other things they make you feel very comfortable that is the Beginning of what's called right understanding you live inside wherever that is I don't care I don't care about figuring it out in MRIs and all this stuff it's fine they can study that it's wonderful everybody should do their part but you know you're in there you don't need an MRI to change colors and Flash around you know when you feel guilty doesn't matter they figure out what part of the brain shows up when you feel guilty they say they do The brain Tes

oh no you don't feel guilty no you don't you just walk out I know what I feel you know what you feel you know what you're thinking you've been in there the whole time haven't you okay it's that simple you are in there and there's this thing called your inner State and it can be nice it can be not nice and anywhere's in between Alpha to Omega have you noticed okay next absolute truth let me see I can figure out which one you like better nice or Not nice I'll bet you like it when it's

nice in there did I get it and I'll bet you don't like it when it feels like there's razor blades going off in there when it's costic and very uncomfortable what do you want to bet that's true everybody in the whole world no what language they speak no one who's ever walked the face of the Earth they live in there and there are different states that go on in there aren't they and you like the nice ones and you don't like The not nice ones good that's a good starting position so if somebody asks you

what do you want to be with your life what do you want to do with your life what do you want to achieve with your life why don't you tell the truth I want to be nice in here that was pretty easy don't tell your parents when they ask you what are you going to major in and what are you what's your career but you can tell me little secret my career is I wanted to Be nice in here no matter what's going on I wanted to be nice in here don't you I wanted to

be nice in here but we're not allowed to say that for whatever reason all culture is so messed up that we can't even face the truth which is that's what you like let's be serious some boy or girl comes up and walks in front of you and it makes you feel nice inside what do you say about them I like them some person walks up makes you feel yucky inside what do you say about them I don't like them you're a liar you either like or don't like the way it made you feel the truth

is you live inside and the inside can go from alpha to Omega and you like it when it's nice and you don't like what is not nice and when you say I like that picture I like that kind of music I like that person you are not telling the truth what you are saying is I like how my inside feels when I'm in the presence of that picture I like how My inside feels when that kind of music is playing I like how it makes me feel when that kind of music playing but you don't

say that you don't say I like the feeling I get in the presence of that picture or in the presence of that music you say I like the music right you don't understand how important that is that's a big difference it's not just a word game because in one case you're going to chase the music and hope that it makes you feel that way that's called worldly Not a bad I I don't like to use worldly and spiritual as you know bad and good things no it merely means you think the answer is in the

world you think you need certain music to make you feel good you think you need around certain people to make you feel okay you think you need to get married by the time you're 23 years old so you can have a first child when you're 24 but they don't get too old because you're going to back's going to hurt when you get too old you don't Want have one too late and your biological clock is ticking whoa you think a lot of things and what are you thinking you're thinking what will make me feel good

and what will make me feel bad and if you think it'll make you feel good you're going after it and if it'll to make you feel bad you're avoiding it and that is your entire life you have just relegated your life to chasing the music that will make you feel good inside to chasing the house house that Will make you feel good inside to Chas in the person make you feel good inside to chase the job you think will make you feel good inside okay that's I don't like the word worldly because it's been used

to mean bad you know lustful and needy and greedy I'm not using it for that I merely mean your attention and your devotion and your commitment is to the outside world because that's how you know how to make it be okay inside the alternative to that is something so Simple it's silly to talk about but we have to come out to the woods talk about it right which is what I like it when it feels good inside check I don't like when it feels bad inside check okay why don't you make it feel good inside

what well what kind of statement is that I don't know how to do that learn that's spirituality that's the difference that's why it's called inner work as opposed to Outer work that's what it's called working on yourself Christ said Physician heal thyself there is work that you can do inside of you that takes less effort and I'll prove that to you in a moment less effort and is guaranteed better results than saying for me to feel okay inside you have to do something I like because there's a lot of you guys out there 7.5 billion

by the way and there's lots of different places and there's lots of different things that can happen there's lots of different circumstances every Moment how often do they all turn you on and you feel great inside because whatever was in front of you happen just the way you like it how about almost never how often do things happen outside that bother you the car driving in front of you isn't driving the way you want somebody didn't use their blinkers it's raining when you have to get out of the car somebody got a stain on your

pants you drop some ketchup on your pants at lunch somebody parked too close to your Car so it's a little hard for you to get the door open your car got scratched o it got a little scratched I think I got a microscope right like there's not a thing that goes on it all bothers you why is it that so many things can make us feel feel bad inside and don't deny it's making you feel bad your part somewhere using your smartphone and you're sitting it and all of a sudden the car behind you goes

B cuz the light changed just a little not a just how you Doing I bet you don't feel so good inside it's a total stranger you'll never see the person again for rest of your life you were the one that was sitting at the light after it changed and you don't how do you know you don't feel good watch your mind oh my God it was only a second what's wrong with people nowadays this is ridiculous what kind of person is that woo a little defensive anybody knows he gets a little defensive in there you

want Know it gets defensive cuz you don't like the way it feels and you're trying to rationalize and talk yourself out of that wasn't my fault I didn't do that who are you talking to do you ever talk to yourself like that does it ever go on in your head I didn't say that I know I didn't say that why is he saying I said that that's ridiculous something wrong with him he probably just doesn't like me it's like why are you talking to yourself you must know what you're going To say you're the one

who's talking I get into that Soul right why in the world would you have to go in there and talk to yourself since you're the one who's talking to you I'm telling you why you're doing it to try to make yourself feel better it's not feeling good in there and you're trying to say things it's not my fault it's not my fault she did that that's not what was that all about you're not even saying to anybody you wouldn't dare you wouldn't Dare say 95% 99% what goes on inside of there you would never open

your mouth and say it to somebody so what's going on what's going on is that everything bothers us not not traumatic some of those are there right but everything bothers us the weather bothers us to why is that to be so hot I like FL I don't want to be that who are you talking to why are you doing that there's just this constant dialogue to try to make yourself be okay I want you to Understand why that happens and what to do about it why so you can have a nice life you can't have

a nice life if you're in there bothering yourself why if you're bothering yourself you will be bothered if you eat food that makes you sick you'll be sick if you are in there bothering yourself all the time I don't like the well this is ridiculous maybe I should move now I can't move I got the CH is that nice thought nice that that going on is it right God I wish I had Said that God it was so embarrassing you're talking about something happened 15 years ago why would that be going on in there and

how can you have a nice life that's what the whole purpose of this discussion is is how can you have a nice life how can you have a spiritual life when were in there bothering yourself so yes there are nice States inside and there are not nice States inside now let's talk about how you would normally experience a nice State Inside you experience a nice State inside because something outside of you happens that you like something happens that you would decide that I would like this to happen if that person comes up to me and

starts talking to me oh my God she's so cute he's so cute I would just oh my God it would make my day all right okay what if instead you said said if that person comes up to me I'll die oh my God he's so weird don't come near me stay let's say you were saying that now He comes up both cases they come up how you feeling and that's the clue and don't you doubt it it has nothing to do with the other person it has to do with the fact that inside your mind

you decided I would like that to happen I think that would work out good for me it starts to happen woo it feels really nice or you decided I don't want that to happen I would die if that happened oh my God it starts to happen you freak so you understand there Is a relationship between the outside world and your inner State you know what that relationship is you did it because that which turned you on turns him off that which turned you on yesterday turns you off today it can happen you learn one more

thing and something that turns you on turns you off pay attention to this this is the quality of your life don't you want to have a nice life you know what it means to have a nice life what it means to have a nice life is to Have a nice life to be happy inside to feel love to feel Joy to feel enthusiasm and excitement that's what it means to have a nice life what you mean by the other stuff is I think if that happened I would be happy inside it's called indirection I think

if I got married I'll feel more comfortable I'll feel more love I think if I have children I'll feel more meaning in life I think if I succeed at my career I'm really getting raises and People are complimenting me it'll be much nicer inside maybe maybe not why can't we sit there and say if I make it nice inside it will be nice inside you look at me like I'm weird because you went to school you went to college you went to graduate school no one ever talked to you that you have the ability to

do that you do not have to sell yourself out to manipulate and control the world around you so it happens to line up with what Turns you on and never lines up with what gets you depressed and turned off you got a lot of work to do don't you can we talk about that why that doesn't work every single moment there's a moment unfolding in front of you every single moment it's a motion picture what is life and it's unfolding in front of you not one of you ever stopped it no one has ever stopped

it it's new every single moment it's just creating the next thing this is what's going on the Next thing's unfolding okay what is the probability that as it unfolds it hits you right every time it makes you feel good inside zero there's no chance in the world the weather is not going to be what you want all the time oh but this is exactly what I want just wait this it's going to change oh look what he said to me look how he said it right just wait he'll say something else or won't say something

else the moments keep changing so there is no way That you're going to learn to be okay because the changing moments are always what make you be okay and you know that you're not stupid all right that's why you go out of your way to choose your battles pick which moment you'll try to make be okay work on them for 3 years and then maybe when they happen for 5 minutes you'll be okay well great what happened to the rest of it everything you can't do it that way you can't expect the outside world to

line up with What it is that you think will turn you on especially when you change what turns you on and turns you off every minute every moment that unfolds in front of you changes how you think about what you want every year you grow you change it's like it changes doesn't it so how in the world are the moments going to line up with this stupid stuff you got going inside that you're just making up and it's changing all the time and every moment changes what you Want oh my God how could have figure

out what you want you can't even figure out what you want so if you rely on the world outside of you unfolding in a way that turns your inside on and doesn't unfold in a way that turns your Insight off you lose and that's why everybody's neurotic and that's why they're all the pills and that's why everybody's anxious and that's why there's so much tension because that's what you're trying to do You're trying to create a world in which you're okay the trouble is there's a lot of competition isn't there a lot of other people

have their own idea what the world should be like have you noticed and so now not only do you have to try to struggle with nature the rain the this the that you have to struggle with every person you ever meet to be the way you want them to be and they're not going to be that way are they and you wonder why you're not okay okay That's why you're not okay there's nothing wrong with you it's just the methodology you're using to try to be okay does not work cannot work and has never worked

now it can work for a moment I told you there can be a moment that unfolds that matches what you got going on inside the preconceived notions of what you think you want or don't want and all of a sudden I'm under no question you feel love you feel Joy you feel excited oh my God I got the job I Got the job this is such a perfect job for me I I had 2,300 people working for me once many of them I'm sure thought when they got hired it was a perfect job right come

on right you can't please people like that so you get in a new boss and this happens or somebody changes the job that you're doing or you have to move your desk or somebody else comes in doesn't take much does it turn you off because the only way it last is if it keeps matching what you got going On inside of you and there's no way it's going to match what's going on inside of you and there's no way you going to manipulate it to match what's going on inside of you so at some point

somebody's going to get the raise that you thought you deserved and from then on you're going to work just going to need the money why are you still working there I can't find another job I thought you loved your job I did for a while I'm telling you wake up okay there is no Possible way that the moments unfolding in front of you are going to match what you want so that it unfolds nicely inside and there are going to be things that happen that turn you off so the idea that the purpose of your

life makes me want to cry the idea that the purpose of your life is to attempt to manipulate and control the moments unfolding in front of you so they match whatever it is you decided at the moment you think you need inside wow talk about Compassion now that is something you'd have compassion for people doing that because they're going to lose and the worst part about it is everybody's doing that and the worst part of it is a society made up of people doing that is going to be the result the expression of that mess

and is so you can talk all day why are people like this I know why people are like this CU they do that because they make up in their heads what it is they think will turn them on now Why would you do that why would you make up in your head what you think turns you on because you're not turned on if you were turned on you wouldn't do that like when you just fell in love somebody said would you like to meet somebody you say no I'm feeling what I want to feel I'm

feeling love if you're not feeling what you want to feel then you make up what you think will make you feel that that's why you have so much trouble deciding what C going to go to what career you Want to do whether she get married now or travel around Europe should take a gap here these are impossible decisions cuz what you're actually saying is which one will make me happy if you knew that any one of those God came down in a burning bush and said if you take a gap here you will be the

most miserable human being for the rest of your life all right but if you go to graduate school immediately your whole career will Blossom and you'll meet somebody You'll be I wonder which one you'll do come on it's tough for me to figure out no wonder where I'm at you understand now right I'm not picking on you it's compassion it's like oh who would want to live like that it's crazy you drive yourself crazy now why would I be doing that because I'm not okay if I was okay I wouldn't be doing that I'd be

having fun with what's unfolding I'd be enjoying my job even if they somebody else got the Rays why here now we going Get to the S what I'm talking about let's say you enjoy your job okay what does that mean you enjoy your job means you're not bothering yourself about your job if you're sitting there all night saying God I don't like my job I don't know what's going to happen I don't know if I get you're not going to enjoy your job if you're sitting there all night saying God I can't wait to get

back to work it was so exciting what I was doing wow this is neat I want to be the first So that I get to do most of it well you're going to enjoy your job you're doing it you can do that about anything but you can't because you haven't learned to work with yourself you have to wait for the world to turn you on you have to wait for a person to show up for you to feel love you have to wait till have a nice house and a nice car to feel good about

yourself and nice clothes clothes make the man they do not your inner State makes you your clothes and Not make you but if you wear this fancy clothes and every go oo it must be a Gucci or something I don't know this I live in the woods all right that must be something all right and everybody oo and a about you that makes your inside feel good that's why clothes make demand because other people look at you with Envy or this or that or respect and you like that therefore it makes you feel good but

that's pretty indirect right the clothes and the people have to react What if you wore the Gucci suit and you went somewhere every else is wearing bathing suits and and jeans you were completely out of place clothes make them man youd like slithered away embarrassed it is your inner state that matters but you won't work on your in state because nobody told you you can what yoga and all the spirituality is about is you have the right to work directly on your inner State why it's yours you're the only one in there There's no competition

it's your inner state so if you go in there and what you do with your inner state is make it a flaming Mess by doing what I told you by doing what I can't believe I said that oh my God that was so stupid I'm so embarrassed maybe I'll move you can't move you know you can't move I wish I could though I don't ever see him again or something I'll change my name I don't know what in the world are you doing you're making yourself miserable is it True that you make yourself miserable you

make yourself miserable about things that happened 10 years ago they're not even happening anymore oh maybe if I said that he wouldn't have left he left 10 years ago because he's an idiot had nothing to do with you but you're still in there saying that by the time you let everything that ever bothered you continue to bother you for the rest of your life and by the time you make up a future that scares the heck out of you And by the time you complain about everything that's happening I wonder how you doing in there

I just covered past present and future and that's what you're going to find out is that you're not paying attention that you want a nice inner environment but you can't possibly have a nice inner environment while you're destroying your inner environment all right if you're going to cause yourself trouble you're going to have trouble if you're going to Cause yourself disturbance you're going to be filled with disturbance and don't you dare think somebody's going to show up you know in white shiny armor and solve the problem you caused it you got to fix it and

I'm telling you that is spirituality those I haven't talked about a single technique yet why because until you understand why you would use a technique they to me they have no meaning it's just ridiculous just another diet just another thing to do Okay another pill to take understand you are doing this you are ruining your life because of what you are doing to yourself inside why how do I know that because you're the only one in there you're the only one in there when it's raining you can go why is to rain it's my birthday

rains on my birthday even God doesn't like me this is ridiculous right I had one day there was two weeks it didn't rain so I plan my party outside now it's pouring rain What are I going to do people hate me they won't like me I have the worst party that ever is that fun gee I wonder how you feel when that's going on well maybe if it makes you feel bad notice the rain didn't make you feel bad you're making you feel bad why can't you instead sit there and say oh my God this

is fun we're going to get soft we'll go inside and we'll play slushy floor or something all right so it's like why not have fun why not have fun you have a Choice Let the Rain make you miserable or Let the Rain make you happy and fun it's completely your choice you are the only one in there it is not the rain that is depressing you that is destroying you it is what you are doing about the rain that's doing it it is not when you're a relationship with somebody and they do something that you

don't like they leave the cap of the toothpaste they work too late and they didn't call lots of things can happen in A relationship okay well you have a choice you can ruin the relationship by continuing inside your head what kind of a person leaves a cap off the toothpaste if IID known that I never would have married him go on do it you think that doesn't matter you just ruined your relationship he did by leaving the cap with the toothpaste no you did you did by doing that about the fact that he left the

cap with the toothpaste you did that by doing that about the fact that He or she came home late for work you did that you did that you did that you are allowing these things that happen outside to destroy your inner state it doesn't have to do that you have the right you know what I take equivalent I see that was like you're driving down the road and you keep driving off the road you keep driving off the road and hitting trees and doing things like that and I checked what's wrong with you kind of

a driver are you and I realize you Don't know about the steering wheel nobody told you about the steering wheel and those pedals on the floor and the car is driving and all of a sudden there's a bank in the road turns to the right well it doesn't turn of course it doesn't turn there's nobody driving inside you driving you driving in there somebody says something it starts to get weird you steer no there's nobody driving did you know there was a steering wheel in there there's a Steering wheel in there that's your inter state

you do whatever you want with it period so you come down to understanding you have have a choice allow the outside world to determine how you're feeling inside or you determine how you're feeling inside I wonder which one will work out better it's not lying to yourself if you're lying to yourself if you say leaving the cap off the toothpaste is a terrible thing it's fun right what if the cap gets left with the Toothpaste and you love the person so much male or female I don't be sexist here right women can leave the cap

off the toothpaste too it's just traditionally the man that does it so net result is the caps off the toothpaste but you love this person so much watch just so you don't look at me weird your child learned to brush his own teeth and this is the first time that he went and brush his own teeth and he left the cap off the toothpaste you Going to yell at him come on I want to see you yell at him you going to walk in and say oh look at Johnny left the top off you put

it on you feel so much love he brushed his own teeth oh my God it be the biggest honor in the world for you to put that cap on the toothpaste right or wrong it increased your love for the child because you're so proud of him right why don't you do that for your husband oh look at little Paul he left the CF the toothpaste he works so Hard you are welcome to do it you are welcome to do whatever you want you're the only one in there it's your mind it's your heart it's your

inner state but nobody will talk to you like this it's so funny they'll just tell you to try and get it the way that makes you feel good it's much easier easier to just feel good it's like I guess it's like cheating understand that and it's okay to feel good don't feel bad about it there aren't any laws against it yet You're allowed to feel good don't show it too much they'll figure something's wrong right but you are welcome to change your inner state anytime you want you haven't learned to do it and that's why

I teach what I teach I want you to be happy don't tell me yeah but you know my husband and I got divorced years ago and how can I be happy you can be happy because you're divorced obviously you weren't very happy or you would have got divorced okay it wasn't working out good So now you divorced you don't have to deal with that how can it still be bothering you it doesn't even make sense why' you bother getting divorced you get divorce inside you divorce outside you're still having the same arguments you wake up

in the morning you're brushing your teeth oh say I Mar's going on you're saying different things to the guy yes or no come on I know what goes on in there I've watched her for years in here okay they're all The same they're a mess so basically if you have stuff going on inside of you that is bothering you and it's not even happening how can it be bothering you because you haven't learned to drive because nobody has sat you down and said that is your world in there and you can have it be as

nice or not nice as you want and don't think that some people say that to me but if it's nice in here why would I do anything can we get that one over with right away I have to have It feel bad in here so I'm motivated to do things right if I don't feel anger if I don't feel hatred why will I be motivated to change the world or to do things all right let's snip that one in the beginning that's ridiculous ever feel love have you ever felt real love powerful tremendous love did

you want to do anything you don't want to do anything because you feel love of course you want to do something you want to express the love don't you you don't Want to be with the person do you you feel love right you want to be with the person you want to go places you do things you want to paint you want to play music You Feel Love want write poetry oh my God you write this beautiful poetry romantic beautiful poetry why because you feel love love wants to express itself just like anger anger wants

to express itself Prejudice wants to express itself hatred wants to express itself doesn't it right love Wants to express itself too when love expresses itself it's beautiful it's beautiful it raises you and it raises everybody else doesn't it but when hatred fear and anger Express themselves it destroys you and destroys everybody else so don't talk to me about motivation that you're going to lose your motivation because you lost your fear because you weren't feeling driven don't worry if you feel love you feel Joy you'll feel inspiration you feel Tremendous drive but it's very healthy it's

healthy so basically the question becomes why does nobody teach you that if you want to feel good inside there's something you can do about it by yourself so it must be antisocial or something I don't know all right well I would like to inform you what you think is feeling good inside you ain't seen nothing yet I would like it that every single morning when you wake up the first thing Think about the first thing happens in your mind when you wake up the first thing that comes up inside of you is this sense like

a child who's 10 years old and woke up on Christmas morning whoa I'm back I wonder what's going to happen today oh this is going to be so exciting all right and that's what happens to you every single morning you're filled with shuy with joy with love excitement enthusiasm there's not oh God what's Going to happen today or oh my God what did I do yesterday I hope it do none zero nothing like that going on all that's going on every single morning is this sense of excitement of joy you get to have another day

on the planet Earth I wonder what's going to happen I wonder what be like well how can that happen because you don't have preconceived notions about what you need to happen or for you to be okay if you say to me I can only be okay if Saul loves me you're Dead why because you just said so you said there's 800 million things that could happen today but only one will make me happy and I think it's hilarious you think that's romantic that's not romantic that's absurd I'd rather have you wake up in the morning

say I wonder what's going to happen today wouldn't it be fun now you have a chance but if you wake up and you say the only time I'm going to be okay if this happens or I'll die if that happens you have already Doomed yourself to fighting with everything in front of you so such and such happens and such and such Doesn't happen then you wonder why you have tension and anxiety and fears and insecurities that's why you built a psyche built on something that's absurd so basically you decide that what I would like to

do is I would like to be happy that's what I'd like to do not I'd like to be married not I'd like to have children not I'd like everyone to Respect me not I want to see my name in light not I want to be a million billionaire not I want to have a career every look up to me and people report to me no no because every one of those is an attempt to feel good inside when I said them you kind of exciting wasn't it because you think it'll make you feel good inside

doesn't always do so clue in but the net result is instead of saying these are the things that need to happen for me to be okay and these are things That better not happen I won't be okay why don't just come in here and say I want to feel okay I want to feel okay and then you start that's my technique you start to do the work of feeling okay how do you do that can we now go there cuz I'm telling you you are capable of raising yourself you are capable of raising yourself not

immediately into some ecstatic state but you didn't get your job and get where you wanted to get right away your marriage didn't work out Perfect you didn't have the kids immediately and they grew up and went to Harvard you you didn't start playing the piano and then all of a sudden being in Carnegie Hall there's work to be done it's a gradual process but every single bit that you do to raise yourself inside is there forever versus the fact did you got the job and then got fired or somebody else got a better job that's

not there forever so you learn to work with yourself how do you work with Yourself you start this way I'm in here check I have different vibrations that can go on inside of me check I like them when they're higher good then I'm not going to do things that make them lower this is the food that makes me sick I'm not going to eat it I don't know what food's going to make me perfect but I know that food makes me sick that's all you got to do that's one way to do your diet don't

eat the things that make you sick that's a good starting point isn't It okay you don't have to go you know this kind of diet that kind of diet just stop eating the things that you know make you sick that's a good starting point good CL end if you can't stop eating things that make you sick you'll never stay on the other diet you don't have enough discipline you don't have willpower you don't have enough Clarity but if you know this makes me sick stop eating it how hard can that be cuz I'm telling you

that's a bottom line and We're going to talk about that this is tough talk if you can't do what you decided you want to do how are you going to do what somebody else told you to do it's not going to happen you'll find something wrong with that person you won't do it I heard they lied to someone I don't have to do what they told me to do oh look they gained the pound how can they be telling me how to lose in other words you don't really want to do it so it's not

hard to find something wrong With the person who told you to do what you don't want to do have you noticed but if you decide for yourself this food makes me sick every time I E how do you know cuz every time I eat I get a stomach ache this is it this food makes me gain weight how you know that well I got a scale and the food and there's a very very high relationship one toone correlation and if you decide you want to do something about it not I decide I didn't tell you

to but if you decide you Want to do something about it I have to get you to the point where you have enough control it's called self control willpower Co whatever you want we have enough control inside to where you get to do something about that which you know you want to do I don't know how else to say it well how do you do that how do you develop that by doing it how do you stop smoking stop any cigar in your mouth that's my cheap way of stopping smoking don't cost any money no

Therapy no patches I found out there is a 100% correlation to people who stop putting cigarett in their mouth to those who stop smoking you can't tell me you're not capable of stopping smoking why because you're the one who's doing it I understand if I tell you to go pick up 500 lb you say I'm not capable of that I'm not telling you to do something I'm telling you to not do something you can't be capable of not doing something you're the one who's doing it here There's an urge to pick up the cigarette in

order to pick up the cigarette you have to move your arm find the pack open it pull the cigarette out stick it in that hole in your face and light it without burning yourself and inhale you had to do all those things you did those willfully just don't do one of them and you'll stop smoking it's really not so complicated so you get to the point where you realize I'm in here and I'm doing things At heart myself you are harming yourself inside you are causing yourself trouble you're causing yourself disturbance discomfort and then you

wonder why you're not comfortable as stupid as it sounds you in there constantly causing yourself discomfort and disturbance and then trying for the world to somehow offset the disturbance you created yourself so I told you it's really very simple the starting point for being okay is stop Bothering yourself here I've been using this lately it's not nice you're fogging yourself why I don't know why you would flog yourself you know but people have been known to fog themselves so you became a flogger all right and you're sitting there fogging yourself right and you go to

the doctor constantly say oh my back is killing me I don't I don't understand what's going on and the doctor says to you you you have these marks on your back are you flocking Yourself yeah yeah well maybe you should stop fogging yourself no I need to meet somebody when I met somebody when I was younger I stopped flogging myself I saw that so I need to meet somebody that's what needs to happen that's what it sounds like that you're in there bothering yourself about everything and then you're saying I need to meet somebody I

need someone to love me I need something to have no no stop Flogging yourself I'm not saying you won't meet somebody all kinds of things can happen but nothing Good's going to happen while you are in there disturbing yourself you are not going to not be disturb other than for a moment something might distract you from disturbing yourself oh the sunset is so gorgeous oh my God it it just caught my attention completely I felt I was in the presence of God it was so spiritual then it's set and I started Think about the mortgage

again and things or why can't I have a house near a sunset like that I don't ever get anything that's what you did with the sunset oh AR you cute if you don't work work on stopping bothering yourself there's not a chance you will not be bothered because you're the person that's in there and if you're in there fogging yourself you're going to have trouble so first are you clear what I mean by bothering yourself I have three Categories what are the three categories that I use to explain why you're fogging yourself how you're disturbing

yourself for absolutely no reason first do you ever disturb yourself about the past there's no reason it's over that's the silliest disturb I ever heard of whatever happened to the past is not happening anymore that's why it's in the past the fact that your parents got divorced when you were four and you're 44 can't be disturbing you when it Happened you were innocent it's what happened it was uncomfortable I'm not denying that okay but it's not happening anymore so I can blame your parents if you want me to about what happened 40 years ago but

I got to blame you for the next 40 years because they didn't do it that's how I want you to think about it take some ownership in the 80s they use the word empowerment I'm empowering you it's not true that what happened to your Parents 40 years ago should be affecting you now what's happening is you couldn't handle it then you can't handle it now so you're bothering yourself about it why is that person fogging themselves because they're very disturbed and this is how it expresses itself you are Disturbed still about what happened 40 years

ago it sounds stupid to talk about doesn't it but you're disturbed you're disturbed by things that aren't happening so I told you there's three Big areas that's one of them the past I need you to start you won't be able to do it right away don't worry about it I need you to start by admitting that it does not make any sense to be bothered by what isn't happening that's your starting position you got to be straight with yourself why are you bothering yourself about to me that's fogging yourself isn't it that you're in there

bothering yourself about something that's not even happening it's something You're causing disturbance for yourself don't worry about the disturbance other people cause you that's nothing compared to disturbance you cause yourself somebody walks up to you and says something mean to you they just had a bad day and D they just say something mean to you took 15 seconds for them to say the mean to you how long you bother yourself about it 15 years you'd walk across the street to not see that person again so it happened for 15 seconds and You're going to bother

yourself about it for days or years or whatever it is you have to sit there and look at that and say that's absurd and understand that you will never be okay while you're doing that I don't care who you marry I don't care what job you have I don't care how much money you have in the bank if you're doing that to yourself if you're fogging yourself I don't care who you marry I don't care how much money you have in the bank or how what job you Have you're not going to be okay are

you well you're not going to be okay if you in there doing yourself that no one's going to fix that for you no no one can love you enough to make that okay here I'm talking straight to you no one you're going to meet is just so loving so beautiful that if you continue in there doing that to yourself that it it makes it okay you have to stop doing that you're doing it to yourself and so how do you stop Doing it so there's one area this area of the past my starting position is

I need you to admit that it makes no sense there's no super glue in there what happen to you when you're four years old is in there because you're keeping it in there there's no fly paper there's no super glue or anything like that it's just empty space in there an event happens you experience it it passes just like white lines on the road you know bodyself by the white lines on the road Do you they come and they go experiences come and go if you can't handle them this the core of my talk L

here's your Technique ready if you can't handle that it happened what does that mean it came in it made me feel Disturbed yes it does I told you there's Alpha to Omega in there so an event actually happened and it actually caus a disturbance inside I'm not denying that and I don't mind that into every life some Rain Must Fall things happen and when they come in they Don't feel good okay fine but if it doesn't feel good for a minute that's one thing if it doesn't feel good for the rest of your life even

though it's not happening anymore that's something else all together which would you rather have here you have a six-year-old child he has to go get a shot how long does a shot hurt I understand it hurts when it goes in the skin you know for what two seconds you can cry right then it's okay you're a little child I understand it Hurts okay good it's over right no that's not what happens how do I get a shot three months before I don't want to get a shot I don't know crying for 3 months there's nothing

happening afterwards don't do it again I don't want to get a shot again if you love me again for 3 months afterwards now for 6 months you screwed up your entire life for something that hurts for two seconds I wonder which one makes more sense to accept the pain that lasts two seconds And get it over with and just say all right sometimes things hurt as opposed to resisting and opposing and freaking out about the whole stupid thing for 3 months before and 3 months after that's what spirituality is that's what be here now is

that's what mindfulness is that's the bottom line an event takes place it is disturbing yes don't deny that don't suppress it it's disturbing I guarantee it won't last nothing lasts nothing lasts it all comes and goes not a single Electron that's in the same place from one moment to the next not a single atom everything comes and goes in its own time all right so when it's in front of you and it's disturbing we learn to deal with the amount of disturbance when it is no longer in front of you I don't want it inside

of you it's that simple if you keep it inside of you you did that you did that by using your will the same will you use to try to manipulate the world to make it be the Way you want you use that will to push away the experience so you don't have to experience it and you don't understand the act of pushing it away makes it stay inside of you there that's the bottom line so it's the technique don't do that that's the highest technique you'll ever be taught now you'll have to meditate and do

Mantra and do all kinds of things turn Jaa beads and Chan in order to not do that you don't really have to or you can just learn to not do that not do What resist reality that's a losing game I don't want him to have said that to me that's such a nice sentence can we break it down I don't want him to have said that to me he obviously said it or you wouldn't be not wanting it you can't make him not have said it it actually happened I don't want him to have said

that to me that sounds so innocent doesn't it I want to flip the coin and have both heads Entails ain't going to happen he's not going to not have said that to you you have to handle it doesn't mean you can't say something about it doesn't mean you can't work with them to not do it again I'm not I'm going to take it away from you but I'm telling you it actually happened and if you can't handle that it happened you're going to suppress it you're going to sit inside and push it away deny it

rationalize it hate it you'll just shove it down away from you And it will stay there and it will bother for the rest of your life period it'll come up in your dreams it'll come up when somebody says something it come up when you hear the person's name even if it's not that person it's just you got this stuff inside of you how much of those you got how many things have you done that with that's why it's a mess in there I'm giving you a condensed version that's why there's so much disturbance inside because

you stored every Disturbance that ever happened to you inside of you and it's still there well what happens if you store disturbance inside of you you get to be disturbed go pour water in your house guess what happens the house gets wet right if you store disturbance inside of you you're going to be disturbed and you have stored every single thing that ever bothered you inside of you because no one taught you otherwise you thought the way to get rid of it is to push it away Not deal with it blah blah whatever the heck

it is that's why mommy and daddy's divorce when you were four still inside of you and every psychologist agrees well what if the child was mature enough to sit there and say h well they got divorced I get to have two fathers this is going to be fun that's not in there but if you got a car accident and it was a little disturbing and it was hard and one person never gets in a car again and never drives again and never does Anything what if your grandparents watch the story of of a plane crash

on TV and now they won't fly to see their grandchildren they didn't even get in an accident themselves the fact of the matter is when you drive your car the probability of an accident is hundreds and hundreds of times Beyond a plane doesn't matter you put that in in there screws up your life doesn't it so you learn to not do that that's the highest technique you learn that when an event Unfolds inside it comes in it's not comfortable I don't care if it's a tiny thing like somebody beeping at you and that's I like

to start with a small things somebody beeps at you with the light okay good this is where you practice that technique it wasn't comfortable I felt embarrassed I all kinds of stuff went on inside can you handle that moment of discomfort enough to say I don't want to carry this with me so what do you do you relax you just Relax you say okay he beeped there it is he beeped that's the cost of not having it inside okay my parents got divorced you can talk about it aren't you healthy you can talk about it

some people can't talk about it you understand that when they hear the word divorce they start getting weird you want to be like that because you're not going to be okay if you're like that so now there's the technique Let It Go that's the technique Let It Go every single thing that Happens if it causes a disturbance relax learn at first you won't be able to do it relax and learn that I don't want this inside of me if you don't want it inside of me don't hold it inside of you if you don't want

to be hurt on your back stop fogging yourself because it's the same thing if you're going to collect disturbances you're going to be disturbed and I'm telling you you don't have to do it so you just keep relaxing and releasing start with little things G Rain the person in front of you the way they drive the dinner not being exactly the way you wanted it oh my God We complain so much it's ridiculous then you wonder why we're not okay so you start working with yourself you can use positive thinking Some people teach that that's

a technique where somebody comes they serve you an amount of food it's much less than what you thought it would and all of a sudden it starts to complain you God that's great somebody Knows I'm supposed to be on a diet right just make it nice make it nice make what nice everything why because the alternative is for to be not nice and then it's going to screw up the rest of your life you can do that then you do positive thinking you can do what we call Mantra which is teach your mind to say

something over and over again till it becomes a habit you know here get a song stuck in your head get this thing stuck in your head it's going on Behind nice neutral thing then what happens when the mind starts complaining or carrying on do that instead just shift your Consciousness to this you know whatever it is right and then you learn to put yourself there and you choose that so now I have a choice do I want to be disturbed or not I have my hands on the steering wheel do you understand that do I

want to be disturbed or not but what he did was terrible do I want to be disturbed or Not somebody nice lady came up to me after Services yesterday and said what if somebody does something that's really terrible I mean really terrible terrible how can you feel love for them how can you open your heart can you keep your heart open Ultimate thing that finally got through to her was as follows somebody did something really really terrible and I mean really terrible just really terrible and you saved a million dollars for your retirement but they

did Something really really terrible would you go to the bank take out the million dollars in cash drive down the street and throw out the window she looked at me like she understand why I was saying that well of course I wouldn't do that well your heart open and the love you feel with your heart open is way more precious than the money the heart's a precious thing if your heart is open you're inspired and turned on you have no problems the money you hope would do That so if you wouldn't throw the money away

why would you throw your heart away cuz that's what you're doing you're saying because what that person did I'm going to screw up my life no first handle it handle it it's what happened I don't care how terrible it is it's terrible yes I admit it's terrible people do terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible terrible things he did a terrible thing start flogging yourself you're not going to do That closing your heart is worse than fogging yourself it means you can't feel love it means you can't feel inspired it means you can't enjoy your food

you can't enjoy your husband you can't enjoy your children because your heart is closed stop thinking that way you start it's the doing the inner work you sit there and say I'm going to create something beautiful inside of me out of me and I'll share it with people there that's my gift to the world and my gift To me and buy myself a present What happiness love incitement enthusiasm well-being that's what I'm going to do they're going to share that present with everybody well that's a nice thing to do well then when something happens and

your psyche says oh my God I'm going to destroy myself over what he did hope it doesn't make sense to you cuz it doesn't make any sense no you handle what happened how you let it go you would process it you let it go it feels yiy You go through the yiy and you don't keep it inside of you and then if you can help this person because you manag to keep yourself open fine if you can't fine nobody's saying what you're going to do but how dare you let it destroy you because of what

he did it doesn't even make sense there was already one bad thing that happened in the world what he did now you're going to have a second bad thing happen what you do to yourself about What he did right that's called driving inside you're being rational you're not running into walls you're not doing stupid things now you understand what working with yourself means letting go things happen they're disturbing learn to relax just keep relaxing do it with small things first so you build up your tolerance and then each time ask yourself do I want to

close over this what happens is when you go through a few years of living like this and you Process a few things that were difficult it was sort of like you invested in your well-being you won't be so fast to throw it away you hear me somebody will do something your mind will say oh my God it's terrible he'll be sorry you'll take one look at that and say hey man it's been two years letting go of stuff that was hard I ain't giving in now I ain't giving up now I made an investment in

this thing and eventually you will reach the point where I want you where you say I will not close I will not close I will not fog myself I will not throw my million dollars out the window because what somebody else did I will be healthy just like you would eat reasonable I would process stuff inside I will let go so I said I'm going to close down I said there were three things one is the past the past should not be bothering you I'm sorry I don't care what psychology says the past should not

be bothering you why because it's not happening anymore it Should make perfect sense to you if it's still bothering you you did it because there's nothing else doing it I don't care how bad it was if it's still bothering you and it's not happening you're doing it the second one's the future huh what do you mean there are actually people that are bothered about the future did you know that well what if this doesn't happen What If I Grow Up and I have kids and they put me in a home I don't want to go

to a home you're 12 years old why are you doing that why are you thinking like that all right so all of a sudden the future's bothering you here's my discussion about the future news flash the future hasn't happened yet therefore if you have a future you made it up it's something you made up in your mind why would you not make up a nice one there you are fogging yourself again you get to make of any future you want because it hasn't even happened yet so why don't you just think Nice things about the

future it doesn't mean you can't plan but plan nice things it's going to be nice I'm going to do well it's going to be fun at least start that way the future's going to be great I can't wait for it to unfold I'll have so much fun with it and I will have grown so much because I'm growing every day my God my future is bright it does doesn't matter what the job is or the relationship is you got a beautiful future because you're making a beautiful House for yourself inside but you don't you think

these terrible things about the future and So you you're making up a bad future and it's scaring you and you're getting neurotic and freaking out what to do about it what to do about what the bad future I made up am I making sense to you no one will talk like this all right they say think of a future and then make it happen think up a nice future and be open and be filled with love and joy and excitement and way You see what the future turns out to be it'll turn out to be

what's going on inside of you you understand that you project yourself outside every conversation you have with everybody everything you do right go in to have a job interview and be scared of not getting the job and know that you need it so bad and you know they won't give it to you oh my God why even B see how good you do with the interview going to an interview filled with excitement I Get to have this interview I get to meet this this HR person a big company it's going to be so exciting right

I can't wait if I got this job I have so many exciting things like now see what they get the job see the difference you project yourself with every word you say with the energy coming off of you with the way your eyes glow with the way you every single thing is projecting yourself you are making your future as you project yourself outside make Something nice inside you know this I haven't said the word god once and this supposed to be a temple all right and and I talked about spiritual right the Bible says shei

first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all things shall be added unto you in other words physician thyself do your work inside the rest will take care of itself so basically that was the past that's the future and then the present is unfolding in front Of you stop complaining about it stop using the situations of the present to express the garbage you stored inside yourself which someday going to find out exactly what you're doing so instead use positive thinking use Mantra I teach the highest technique and it is the highest technique when something

unfolds relax when what relax somebody says something mean to you relax what relax handle it first then deal with it because if you can't handle it you can't deal with it Because you're too busy not handling it you're too busy freaking out inside then you can't deal with it because you have to deal with yourself handle it first relax just relax and lean away from the disturbance inside like I said you can do Mantra you can posit what but ultimately relax and release then deal with what's left in front of you you're going to find

out that works better than anything in the whole world plus you didn't store the stuff inside of you so This is how you work with yourself have I gotten through it's real isn't it this is real stuff this isn't like some magic pill or some magic Mantra or some magic trip somewhere and you'll be so happy this is just basically I'm calling you on the carpet right if you're in there screwing yourself up don't you dare think something's going to happen to make it okay you stop screwing yourself up you do this work on yourself

learn how to deal with yourself better and You're going to find out that the whole world is beautiful it's not perfect but it's beautiful amazing amazing events are unfolding in front of you and if they don't hit your stuff you get to help you get to deal with them get to have excitement with your whole life all right so I started off by saying that the spiritual path is very simple there that's how simple it is and I also said that it's not about the techniques the techniques are not the path itself the Techniques are

things you use because you need some help to work with yourself you need some techniques some methodologies so you can learn to let go of things that's fine they're all fine people say to me well which which one's best the one that you do that's the one that's best right the one that you're willing to do the one that you work with and stay with it'll all take you there but never forget this talk the entire purpose of this is for you to stop Saying the outside world is going to make me be okay if

it's a certain way that's ridiculous you have to sit there and say I'm the one who's screwing myself up when I stop screwing myself up things will be fine and that is an absolute truth in Gig