[Music] many people with high pressure jobs find themselves unhappy with their careers despite working hard their whole lives to get to their current position but while hating your job is one thing what happens if you identify so closely with your work that hating your job means hating yourself it's not uncommon career enmeshment is a condition where the boundaries between people and their careers become blurred and individual identities lose importance preventing the development of a stable independent sense of self there are several reasons high pressure jobs may lead to enmeshment the obvious ones are compensation and
advancement as the work culture in many fields rewards working longer hours with raises prestige and promotions but engaging in any intense activity for most of your waking hours can cause that activity to become central to your identity since it displaces other activities and relationships with which you might identify the status that comes with money and perks can also lead to enmeshment big paychecks may launch people into a new socioeconomic class with addictive trappings and since our identities are influenced by how we present ourselves to others forming an identity focused on wealth achievement and influence can
tie you to that high-paying career that got you there and cultural expectations too can cause enmeshment if career achievement is highly valued in your family or community you may feel disconnected from your family and peers if you fail to achieve a certain level of professional success this can drive you to center your life on achieving what is expected of you forcing your identity to become synonymous with your work but constructing one's identity closely around a career is a risky move whether it's retirement or a layoff becoming disconnected from a career that forms the foundation of
your identity can lead to bigger issues such as depression anxiety substance use and loneliness so where do you spend most of your time how much of your self-description is tied up in your job title or company do you have non-work related hobbies if you worry about the degree to which your job has influenced your identity here are steps you can take to initiate change begin by freeing up time by delegating tasks at work this may mean giving up some control and relying on your co-workers or advocating for an intern to help with tasks and crucially
fill that time with non-work related activities start small in finding new activities outside of work for example if you want to exercise more don't sign up for a marathon just start walking to work small changes are easier to stick with and can result in a cycle of improvement and commitment rebuild your network by reaching out to friends and family you'll have fun while establishing a support network for yourself even just reaching out by text email or phone to catch up with people you haven't spoken to in a while can strengthen relationships decide what's important to
you by reviewing your principles and values think about what matters to you in life relationships community careers parenting and let those priorities guide you toward what's next start by creating a running list on your phone as you ponder what is most important to you and finally look beyond your job title by considering other ways to use the skills you've honed over your career for instance a ceo might like mentoring entrepreneurs as her next act while a psychotherapist may take to hr management the takeaway while identifying closely with your career isn't necessarily bad it makes you
vulnerable to a painful identity crisis if you burn out get laid off or retire possibly leading to anxiety depression and despair but claiming back some time for yourself and diversifying your activities and relationships you can build a more balanced and robust identity in line with your values you
