In Old Age, Living Alone is Very Comfortable (Don't Become a Slave to Your Children)

Why should the elderly live alone? Many elderly people feel that relying on their children is not something to be ashamed of. Before we begin, I would appreciate it if you liked this video.

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Now let's get started. If children can take care of their parents, it proves that they are successful and capable. One should be proud of staying with their children; elderly people won't have to worry about food and drink.

On the contrary, relying entirely on grandchildren often leads to problems. Many cases have shown that relying on children is not ideal; it's best to depend on oneself. A typical example is Miss Lan, who is 75 years old and suffered from a serious illness two years ago.

After that experience, she realized the reality of her future life in old age and decided to protect these three things rather than rely on her children. Why does Miss Lan feel that relying on her children is useless and ineffective in old age? What should she protect?

Let's listen to Ms. Lan's story to understand this issue better. I am now 73 years old and have been widowed for 13 years.

Before my husband passed away, we had a happy life together. We have two sons and one daughter, all of whom have good and stable lives and live and work in the city. However, the good times didn't last long.

Five years after retirement, my husband died in a car accident. Since then, I have been living a lonely life in a cold house. Before, I felt that my health was quite good, and with my monthly pension, I could take care of myself even without my husband.

After his death, the person responsible for the accident gave me 300 million VND for the incident, along with 200 million VND that my husband had saved over the years. However, I still didn't feel at ease. The rest of my life is very long, and living alone with money is meaningless.

Do you know why Ms. Lan felt so worried? She shares that many elderly people advised her to spend money on eating, traveling, shopping, and hiring a helper, but she felt that this life in old age did not belong to her.

She always thought that children needed support, but only when facing issues did she realize the truth—her children were all greedy and selfish. After her husband's death, she tried to comfort herself to take care of things cheerfully. Initially, they agreed that she would stay at each son's house for five months and then at her daughter's house for two months.

They told her to choose and stay as long as she wanted. After living with her children for some time, she found that this arrangement did not bring her happiness and joy. When her sons and daughter invited her to stay with them, claiming it was to ensure a relaxed old age, in reality, she found it less comfortable than living alone in her old house.

Besides being treated like a guest by her son-in-law when staying with her son, she had to endure a lot of complaints. At her elder son's house, her daughter-in-law assigned her many household tasks. Initially, her son gave her 5 million VND per month for family expenses, but after a few months, her son started complaining that her pension was too high and asked her to contribute more to household expenses.

She agreed because she was accommodating. Later, he started giving her only 2 million VND, then nothing at all; she had to take care of everything herself. Likewise, when she moved to her younger son's house, it was the same situation, but this younger son tricked her out of more money than the elder son.

After she had just moved in, he asked for 200 million VND for an investment project. Since she had spent all her money on them and living expenses at her elder son's house, she had no more to give. How could she get it back?

Her younger son, dissatisfied with her lack of money, began insisting that she sell the old house; after all, she only stayed there a few times a year. The sooner it was sold, the better to get a good price. They kept saying that if she had money, she could share with her siblings, and they would be richer, making her life better too.

Although her late husband had suggested selling the house to live with their sons after retirement, she had no intention of selling it after his death. After all, she and her husband had put in so much effort, sweat, and tears to buy that house; it was the only place they could live. If sold, she would not know where to go for family gatherings.

She refused her sons' quest, but unexpectedly, her younger son and the elder son pressured her to sell. She was adamant about not selling. To appease her children, she gave each of them 50 million VND and falsely said that she only had 200 million VND left.

This dispelled their intention to sell the house, but she thought she could finally live in peace. After a serious illness, she saw the reality more clearly. Three years ago, she suffered from a stroke due to a fall.

Fortunately, a passerby took her to the hospital in time. She had to limit her movements, was unable to use her limbs, and could not do many tasks; therefore, she needed someone else to care for her, realizing she could no longer help her children. began to disregard her.

Even her daughter-in-law and son became increasingly dissatisfied with her, treating her like a burden and constantly complaining about having to serve her. The doctor advised her to rest and take good care of herself for recovery, but living with her son, she was often scolded and criticized. This may have contributed to her ongoing stroke issues.

Later, they wanted to send her to a nursing home; she had no interest in going there at all. Being there felt like being in prison, unable to go anywhere. Therefore, she decided to return to her hometown, hire a helper, and live comfortably.

Initially, her children were hesitant and said that living alone didn't require much money, so they agreed to her decision. They were forced to compromise. Less than a year after returning home, her health quickly improved; she could walk, her limbs were more flexible, and she could do some simple household chores.

Reflecting on this, she felt that not selling the house and not giving all her savings to her children was the right decision. If she had no house or money now, she would have had to rely on her children daily, enduring their complaints or being in a nursing home. If you are still watching this video and finding these lessons useful, please comment "number one" below to let me know that you are still watching this video with me.

Thank you for your valuable time. After such a serious illness, she realized that, in old age, it’s better to protect oneself in these five ways rather than relying on children. First, maintain good health; protecting health throughout life is essential.

Second, have personal assets and a pension; one should not depend on children but rely on oneself. Third, keep enough property and money, and never give everything to children. Fourth, do not work for children; instead, travel and relax.

Fifth, do not rely on children but work and rely on oneself to have a meaningful and enjoyable life. These principles not only helped her live a happy old age but also made her children more comfortable. Living with children did not bring happiness; living alone in her old house allowed her to live her own life.

Therefore, if one is still young, it’s better to learn and gain experience. If not, living alone in old age is also good; at least one’s life has meaning and interest more than children. In old age, money becomes the power of the elderly.

Therefore, if parents have assets, they should use them for themselves and make a will for the rest of the inheritance. It is not advisable to give away your assets to your children while you are still alive. There are cases where parents, before passing away, transfer their house to their children and end up living as tenants in their own home, like in the example here.

So, when approaching the final years of life, you need to learn to provide yourself with a fallback plan; your assets are a means to enjoy your old age. The elderly should not transfer their assets to their children before they pass away; doing so is akin to proactively making your children's lives easier and placing yourself in a passive position. Wise individuals will only transfer their assets to their children when they are nearing the end of their lives.

This not only avoids the risk of the assets being squandered by the children but also ensures that you have enough to cover retirement services. If children are ungrateful, it is only when the elderly keep their assets that the children will show respect. We, in families with many children, often say the elderly parents live for their children.

They spend their lives supporting their children, leaving nothing behind. In wealthy families, some ungrateful children take care of their parents just to gain benefits; however deep down, they do not truly want to honor or care for their parents. Therefore, to have a peaceful old age, you should ensure you keep your assets to cover your living expenses after retirement.

The second thing is to avoid living with your children to prevent unresolved conflicts. Ms. Men, nearly 70 years old, should be spending her old age peacefully under her children's care, but the reality is harsh.

Ms. Men has four sons and two daughters. In her youth, she worked diligently to raise her children; however, in her old age, her four sons do not want to support her and avoid each other.

The four sons take turns caring for their mother but do not want to fully commit to even a single day. There was a day when Ms. Men was at her eldest son's house and got bitten by a dog, so she had to stay for a few days; however, the family was displeased.

Ms. Men then turned to her second and third sons' homes, but each time she was moved around. When staying with her sons, she had to be considerate of their daughters-in-law.

Her life was uncomfortable; despite her deep love for her children, the petty jealousy among her children made her even more exhausted. When ill, she had to manage on her own. Her two daughters loved their mother very much and have tried many times to bring her home; however, the sons refuse, fearing social stigma.

As a result, they keep their mother to maintain their reputation. The daughters want to care for her but are helpless. At 70, Ms.

Men realizes that living with any of her children is not ideal. She is reluctant to enter a retirement home, fearing it would be seen as a sign of ungratefulness. The core issue is her deep-seated pride and reluctance to face this reality; therefore, after retirement, the elderly should not move in with their children.

Although the intention is to help and support them, this could lead to. . .

An unsatisfactory outcome. The reality is that living under one roof with different generations can create conflicts due to differing ideas and lifestyles. Maintaining boundaries can sometimes preserve a harmonious relationship instead of straining it within the children's home after retirement.

Rather than being appreciated by children, you might end up facing complaints and reproach. Thus, to ensure a peaceful old age, you should only visit your children and help them when necessary. The third point is not to exhaust yourself working for your children.

In today's world, many retirees continue to work to earn extra income to support their children or pay off debts. Some parents, after retirement, not only take on additional chores but also manage the household tasks for their children. Instead of focusing on personal health and well-being, they overextend themselves.

This is a significant mistake. After retirement, it is unreasonable for the elderly to continue working excessively. The most important thing each day is to take good care of oneself.

When health is compromised, it not only causes personal distress but also burdens the children. Instead of overworking, the elderly should focus on exercising and maintaining their health. Regardless of how much money is earned, it won't be enough to cover medical expenses if health deteriorates.

As we age and become weaker, it does not mean we cannot find happiness. By planning retirement life carefully, we can still enjoy a peaceful old age. Finally, let us listen to the story: "I Will Live Well.

" Mom, certainly! The daughter straightens her clothes, applies a bit of lip balm, and twirls in front of the mirror. Her mother says, "You look beautiful, but the neckline is too deep.

" The daughter laughs and says, "It's no longer the old times, Mom. " Her mother doesn't say anything and goes to the kitchen to prepare lunch. The daughter follows, takes out the watermelon slices her mother cut, and says, "Aren't you afraid of smearing your lipstick?

" The daughter laughs, "The lipstick was a gift from Thailand. It's so well-made, Mom. " The mother is taken aback.

"Really? " The daughter kisses her mother's cheek and says, "I'm going now, Mom. " The daughter has become more like her mother as she grew up, but more beautiful because she knows how to dress well.

She is fortunate to have a good job and a high income, spending her months shopping and eating fast food. Each time she comes home, she brings a lot of clothes, cosmetics, and fashion items. Occasionally, she remembers to buy her mother a set of clothes or some fabric to make a new outfit.

The clothes rarely fit her mother, and the fabric is often too short, but her mother knows the intention is to make her beautiful, just like when she was young. Her daughter is beautiful, and when someone praises her, her mother smiles and says, "My daughter is truly beautiful. " The daughter no longer stops by.

It's been a month since she last came home. Her mother, now retired, spends her time alone doing housework, watering plants, cooking, and taking care of herself. Sometimes she gets exhausted and doesn't want to eat, so she sits by the creek, propping up her knees on a hill and looking at the clouds.

Her daughter is still living and still loves her mother. This month, her daughter is busy with a new job and hasn't come home. Her mother doesn't want to bother her, but she receives small gifts each week: health supplements, fruits, and a new outfit.

Her daughter also sends some sweets when she returns. Her mother knows it will be just in time and hopes for a visit with gifts. Then, hugging her mother, the daughter said, "Mom, let me lie down for a bit, okay?

Later, we can have dinner together. I love you so much. " She asked, "Are you tired from school?

" The daughter didn't say anything. The mother suggested, "Let's lie down together. " The daughter laid down, resting her head on her mother's arm.

"Mom, you've lost so much weight," the daughter said, hugging her mother tightly with her arms around her. The daughter brought her hand to her lips and lightly bit down; a faint bite mark appeared and quickly vanished. The daughter reassured herself that her parents still looked youthful and that her mother was still young.

The daughter listened to the external influence and felt that way. If you are still watching this video and finding these lessons useful, please comment "number two" below to let me know that you are still watching this video with me. Thank you for your valuable time!

The daughter liked drinking hot ginger water. The mother had soaked the ginger the day before and made it for her. After coming back from school, she drank it daily, but there was still some ginger water left in the glass.

The mother regretted it and made it into a jam with sugar. When the mother poured the jam into a sieve to cool, the daughter went to the kitchen and ate it with her hands like a child, chewing it noisily. The daughter philosophized, "Is it delicious, Mom?

Spicy, sweet, bitter, like life. " The mother was telling her to let the ginger drain. "Who taught you to speak like that, my child?

At your age, you should know better. " The daughter dismissed the old clothes her mother kept. The mother took all the buttons and stored them in a box, saying to keep them in case they were needed so they wouldn't be wasted.

The daughter said, "Mom, you're old and silly. " The mother just replied, "Being wasteful is a sin. " The daughter laughed and said, "If you speak like that, many people would have long been punished by now.

" The mother looked shocked and asked, "Why do you talk like that, child? " The daughter said nothing because, at that moment, she was thinking about corrupt officials who took state money and lived. "Like kings, why hasn't Heaven punished them yet?

" The mother had a small wooden box that had become glossy and was carefully locked. The daughter had seen it since she was very young; whenever she sneaked close to the box, the mother would tell her not to touch it and that she would be given it when the time was right. After several such warnings, the daughter stopped trying to touch the box.

That morning, as the daughter was taking her bike out of the house, the mother asked her the usual question: "Will you be home for dinner today? " Sometimes, when the daughter was frustrated from being late to school, she would reply, "I don't know yet," but that day the daughter saw something in her mother's eyes that seemed like a plea. She sighed and said, "I'll come back.

Remember to cook rice and tomato soup with meat stuffing; I'm craving it. " The mother was delighted and said, "Okay, I'll cook and prepare some bread for you. Don't eat from the street vendors; it's expensive and unsanitary.

" The daughter hurriedly started her bike and left. For some reason, that day the daughter felt increasingly anxious. She kept an eye on the clock, eagerly awaiting the end of the day.

It was the last day of final exam preparation, and by 6 p. m. , she still hadn't finished her work yet.

She asked to leave, went to her bike, and headed home. At the gate, a flower vendor was selling dozens of fresh roses. The daughter bought some, intending to bring them home for her mother.

When she opened the door, she didn't see her mother waiting as usual. Worried, she rushed to the kitchen and found that her mother had already prepared the meal. The rice cooker was turned off, and the stuffed tomato was still warm on the stove, showing that her mother had just turned off the heat.

On the dining table was a cup of hot ginger water and a plate of spicy ginger her mother had prepared, but her mother was not there. The daughter called out, "Mom, where are you? " She ran into the bedroom and saw her mother lying on the bed.

She tried to wake her, but her mother seemed unresponsive. Her mother's hand, initially warm, soon turned cold and stiff. The daughter panicked and called for an ambulance.

The ambulance rushed her mother to the hospital. The doctor examined her briefly and said she had suffered a sudden increase in blood pressure. The daughter had brought her mother too late; it was too late to save her.

The daughter fainted. She had never thought this day would come. Her mother was still healthy and had just cooked for her.

Her father and younger sibling took her home. She could barely walk. When she went into her mother's room, she saw the wooden box from before.

She took it, not allowing anyone else to touch it. It was unusual for her to do this, but now the box was in her hands. The daughter searched for the key and opened the box.

Inside was a pink knitted scarf made by her mother years ago. The daughter never wore it, having considered it too old-fashioned. Under the scarf was a child's knitted sweater—one the daughter had worn long ago.

The sweater was neatly folded and embroidered with her name. The daughter also found a notebook with her early writing from when she started first grade—clumsy, childish handwriting—and she stumbled upon a golden necklace and a neatly written note: "Dowy for my daughter. " This was all her mother's legacy, yet the daughter had once mocked the wooden box.

It contained the family's difficult past, and the daughter's childhood. Swallowing her tears, the daughter whispered to her mother, "I will live well, Mom; I promise. " Even though we all know that caring for elderly or ill parents is not easy and requires enduring many things ordinary people cannot bear, parents grow old with us.

Taking care of and honoring parents is our greatest way of repaying them. Even if we can't manage everything perfectly, we should strive to do what we can. Thank you for joining us in exploring these profound insights on managing life in our later years.

From understanding the importance of wisely handling assets to recognizing the value of personal space and maintaining our well-being, we've covered crucial aspects of enjoying a fulfilling and peaceful old age. We'd love to hear from you. What have you learned from today's discussion?

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