My Gambling Addict Husband Sold My Car For My Sister's Vacation So I Cut Him Off Financially Then...

my gambling addict husband sold my car for my sister's vacation so I cut him off financially then he tried to kidnap our son I'm Sarah 29f and I've been married to Mike 32m for 7 years we have a wonderful 5-year-old son Tommy I need to share my story because I'm at my breaking point and don't know what to do anymore Mike and I met in a coffee shop near my college campus I was a senior studying accounting and he was working as a software developer at a growing tech company he came in every morning for

coffee and we started talking he was different from the college guys I knew mature ambitious and seemed to have his life together after dating for a year he proposed on my graduation day everything felt perfect the first two years of our marriage were like a dream we both had good jobs bought a beautiful three-bedroom house in a nice neighborhood and started planning our future Mike was making great money as a senior developer and I was building my career at an accounting firm when I got pregnant with Tommy Mike was over the moon he painted the

nursery himself read every parenting book he could find and even took paternity leave to help with the baby Tommy's early years were wonderful Mike was an amazing father he would wake up early on weekends to let me sleep in take Tommy to the park and spend hours building blanket forts in the living room our friends used to joke that he was setting an impossibly high standard for other dads in our Social Circle the changes started so gradually that I barely noticed at first about 2 years ago Mike began coming home late from work he said

he was working on a big project and I believed him he'd always been dedicated to his job then he started missing dinner then Tommy's bedtime stories then entire weekends would go by with him barely leaving his home office I finally learned the truth when his boss called me Mike had been skipping work missing deadlines and showing up to meetings unprepared the company was letting him go when I confronted Mike he broke down and admitted he'd been gambling online during work hours he promised it wasn't serious just a hobby that got out of hand and said

he find a new job right away but he didn't look for work instead he spent more time gambling claiming he needed to win back what he'd lost before job hunting our savings started disappearing first in small amounts then larger sums I check our account and find hundreds or thousands missing every time I confronted him he had excuses the money was just temporary he had a system he was about to hit a big win I started taking extra clients at work to cover our bills my parents offered to help with Tommy watching him after PR school

so I could work longer hours Mike barely noticed he was too absorbed in his poker games he started sleeping all day and staying up all night the house fell into chaos I was working taking care of Tommy doing all the housework while Mike lived in his own world one day while doing laundry I found a small bag of white powder in his jeans pocket I knew what it was but didn't want to believe it when I confronted him he claimed it was just to help him Focus during long poker sessions I was horrified we had

a young young child in the house and he was using cocaine throughout all this my cousin Rachel was my biggest support she's 2 years younger than me and we grew up like sisters when she moved to our city for work last year she became a regular at our house helping with Tommy and listening to my worries about Mike she seemed genuinely concerned about him often defending him and suggesting I'll be more understanding of his struggles last month I got a call from Tommy School saying he had a fever I left work early to pick him

up not bothering to call ahead since Rachel had a key and often watched him when he was sick I walked into my house to find Mike and Rachel on our couch his hands under her shirt her lipstick smeared they jumped apart when they saw me but it was too late Rachel ran out crying later she sent me a long text explaining that Mike had been pursuing her for months he told her our marriage was over that I was already planning to leave him that he was lonely and misunderstood she said she only gave him because

she truly believed him and thought she was helping him through a difficult time the Betrayal cut deep not just my infidelity but Rachel's willingness to believe him over our lifelong relationship that night after Tommy was asleep I confronted Mike his reaction shocked me instead of apologizing he turned aggressive he said I was to blame for everything for not supporting him when he lost his job for working too much for not understanding his needs when I pointed out that I was working extra hours to cover his gambling losses and taking care of our son alone he

stormed out he disappeared for 2 days no calls no messages nothing Tommy kept asking where daddy was and I had to make excuses when Mike finally came home he acted like nothing had happened he went straight to his computer and started playing poker again now I'm stuck in an impossible situation I know I need to leave for my sake and Tommy but I'm terrified of what that means even with my good job supporting Tommy alone would be tough child care in our area is expensive and moving would mean taking Tommy away from his school and

Friends Mike might be a terrible husband but Tommy still adores him on the rare occasions when Mike does pay attention to him Tommy's whole face lights up I've started secretly putting money aside in a separate account but it's not much most of our savings are gone and I recently discovered Mike has been missing our mortgage payments I'm also worried about his drug use and what he might do if I try to leave for now I'm just existing I go to work take care of Tommy cook clean and act normal around Mike but inside I'm screaming

I need advice how do I protect my son while getting out of this marriage should I try one more time to help Mike or is it too late has anyone dealt with a similar situation update one first I want to thank everyone who responded to my original post your advice and support gave me the courage to take action and I really needed that because things got much worse very quickly the day after I posted I decided to do a deep dive into our finances I always handled the bills but Mike managed our credit cards and

investment since he used to be good with money I created an online account with the credit reporting agencies and what I found made me physically sick mik hadn't just been gambling away our savings he had opened three credit cards in my name without my knowledge I found statements showing over $30,000 and gambling debt spread across these cards he had set up paperless billing and used my email to create accounts but directed them to a folder I never checked some paper statements had come to our house but he must have been intercepting the mail when I

confronted him with the statements his reaction terrified me instead of showing remorse or trying to explain he became defensive and angry he started yelling about how I had no right to check his private financial matters when I pointed out these were in my name he claimed he had done it for our family that he had a foolproof system to win everything back he even pulled up his laptop to show me some gambling strategy website trying to convince me that he was about to hit a big win that would solve everything I told him I was

considering divorce that's when his demeanor completely changed he broke down crying fell to his knees and started begging for another chance he promised to go to Gamblers Anonymous to get a job to be a better father to Tommy he seemed so sincere that for a moment I almost believed him almost that night while he was in the shower something made me check his phone he had left it unlocked on the coffee table unusual for him as he'd become very protective of it lately what I found was worse than I imagined Not only was he still

messaging Rachel talking about their connection and how they could be together once he figured things out but he was also deeply involved with a drug dealer the messages with the dealer were terrifying Mike Ed him $5,000 and the dealer was getting impatient there were Veil threats about other ways to collect the debt one message mentioned knowing where Tommy went to school I felt my world collapsing this wasn't just about a failing marriage anymore my son was in danger I called Mike's parents that same night they live about an hour away and have always been wonderful

to me and Tommy when I told them everything his mom started crying then she revealed something that changed everything this wasn't Mike's first gambling addiction he had a similar problem in college losing thousands of his parents money they had bailed him out and helped him recover but made him promised never to gamble again they thought he had kept that promise his parents immediately offered their guest house to me and Tommy it was a small but comfortable two-bedroom space behind their main house completely private but close enough for support his mom suggested I pack while Mike

was out the next day the next morning I waited until Mike left for what he claimed was a job interview I later learned he was meeting his dealer his parents came over and we started packing Essentials clothes toys important documents we were almost finished loading the car when Mike came home unexpectedly the scene that followed still haunts me Mike completely lost control he started throwing things books pictures anything he could grab he was screaming that I couldn't take his son that he would find us that he would make me regret this his father who I

had always known as a gentleman had to physically restrain him while his mom and I finished getting our things Tommy was at school thank God but I knew then that I couldn't let my son come back to this house we've been at his parents guest house for almost two weeks now Mike alternates between calling constantly with tearful apologies and sending threatening messages he showed up at my work twice causing such a scene that security had to remove him my boss has been understanding letting me work remotely when needed yesterday Rachel appeared at my workplace she

was crying saying she needed to tell me the truth according to her Mike had been manipulating everyone for months she showed me messages where he had been harassing her demanding she tell me the affair was all her fault threatening to tell her employers some lies he had made up about her if she didn't comply but the biggest shock came from Mike's former boss he called me after hearing about our separation through mutual friends he felt I needed to know the real reason Mike lost his job it wasn't just about being late or missing deadlines Mike

had been embezzling from the company over 6 months he had stolen nearly $50,000 through a scheme involving fake vendor payments the company had agreed not to press charges if he repaid the money which explained some of the mysterious loans he had taken out last year Tommy is struggling to understand what's happening he keeps asking when we're going home when he can see his dad Mike's parents are being incredible helping with child care and giving me time to figure out next steps I Frozen all our joint accounts and reported the fraudulent credit cards I met with

a lawyer who says I have a strong case for full custody given Mike's addiction the hidden debt and the evidence of his threat threatening behavior I'm still in shock but at least now I can see clearly leaving was the right choice especially after discovering the extent of his deception I have another meeting with my lawyer tomorrow to start divorce proceedings update two things have taken several shocking turns since my last update the situation with Mike has gone from bad to worse revealing even darker Secrets than I imagined two weeks ago Mike was arrested at his

parents house he had broken in while they were at work thinking no one was home their security system alerted them a movement in the house and they called the police when officers arrived they found Mike trying to break into his father's safe where they keep important documents during the arrest officers searched his car and found cocaine along with prescription pills that weren't his his parents were heartbroken but pressed charges they said they had caught him trying to steal from them twice before but had kept it quiet hoping he would seek help on his own this

time they decided tough love was necessary his mom told me through tears that enabling him had only made things worse the arrest brought something even more disturbing to light the police found detailed plans on his phone showing he'd been preparing to take Tommy he had rented an apartment three states away under a false name and was in contact with someone who could provide fake documents he had even been watching Tommy's school learning the pickup routines reading those messages made me physically ill Rachel came forward with more information about Mike's schemes she hadn't just loaned him

$15,000 she had also helped him get loans from other family members by vouching for his fake business ventures she showed me a spreadsheet where Mike had tracked all his borrowing the total was staggering over $100,000 from various friends and relatives each loan came with a different story a business opportunity medical bills home repairs he had played on people's sympathy and Trust using his charm to convince them to help Tommy's teacher called me last week with concerns she noticed he'd become withdrawn and wasn't playing with other kids during recess when she asked him to draw his

family he drew himself alone in a corner while the rest of the family was fighting the school counselor suggested he might be dealing with trauma from all the recent changes it broke my heart to realize how deeply my son had been affected by everything Mike's parents have been my strongest support through all this they helped me find a good lawyer and offered to testify about Mike's behavior if needed his mom finally told me stories about his past that shed new light of everything this pattern had started in his teens the gambling the manipulation the stealing

they had helped him hide it paid off his debts sent him to private counsel when he met me they thought he had finally changed his mom apologized tearfully for not warning me saying they truly believed he had overcome his old habits three of Mike's former co-workers reached out after hearing about his arrest each had a similar story Mike had tried to involve them in various schemes over the years he asked them to cover for him when he was gambling during work hours tried to borrow money with elaborate stories and even attempted to convince some to

invest in non-existent business ventures one cooworker admitted to lending him $10,000 for for what Mike claimed was emergency surgery for Tommy a surgery that never happened the divorce is proceeding but it's complicated by all the financial mess my lawyer says it could take months to untangle everything and protect what's left of my assets the good news is that I have solid proof the credit cards were opened fraudulently so I should be able to get those removed from my credit report the bad news is that some of Mike's gambling debts were from illegal sources and there's

concern about potential threats from these people I'm documenting everything for the custody hearing between the drug charges the attempted kidnapping plans and the financial fraud my lawyer says Mike will be lucky to get supervised visitation his parents are willing to testify about his history of addiction and deception which strengthens my case even more update 3 I'm writing this final update to close this chapter of my life and share where things stand now the past 6 months have been challenging but I finally feel like I'm On Solid Ground Mike took a plea deal for the drug

possession and burglary charges he's serving 8 months in a rehabilitation facility with 3 years of probation to follow the judge made it clear that any violation would result in immediate jail time his parents visit him weekly saying he seems to be doing better in the structured environment I maintained strict no contact except for matters directly related to Tommy the custody Arrangement was finalized last month I have full custody with mik getting only supervised visits once a month at a family center the judge was particularly concerned about the evidence of his kidnapping plans and drug use

even these supervised visits are contingent on Mike staying clean and continuing treatment after his release the financial aftermath has been messy the divorce is final and the judge ruled I'm not responsible for the credit card debt might created in my name however I'm still dealing with the people he borrowed money from some like his old cooworker who he tricked with a fake surgery story have been understanding others still think I must have known about his schemes and want me to repay his debts my lawyer is handling these claims Rachel's attempts at reconciliation have been persistent

she repaid the $15,000 Mike borrowed from her directing it to Tommy's college fund as a gesture of apology while I appreciate the gesture I told her I need permanent space the trust is broken and some things can't be fixed she finally stopped trying to contact me last month Tommy and I moved into our own apartment 3 weeks ago it's smaller than our old house and the commute to work is longer but it's ours Tommy has his own room which he decorated with superhero posters he's sleeping through the night again and made new friends at his

new school his counselor said as he's showing positive signs of adjustment though he still has moments of sadness about his dad Mike's parents have been incredible but I'm gradually creating healthy boundaries there too they watch Tommy one weekend a month which gives me some time to myself but I've made it clear that I need to build an independent life they understand and respect this I landed a new position at work with better pay and remote options this flexibility helps with child care costs and lets me be more present for Tommy I've started putting money aside

each month in a separate emergency fund something I learned the hard way to maintain the hardest part has been helping Tommy understand everything he still asks about his dad especially around bedtime when Mike used to read to him I've been honest with him in age appropriate ways explaining that Daddy is sick and getting helped to get better his counselor says this approach is healthy acknowledging the truth while maintaining hope looking back at my original post I barely recognized that scared confused woman who was trying to hold everything together sometimes I wonder if I should have

seen the signs earlier but I know now that Mike was skilled at hiding his addiction and manipulation what matters is that I found the strength to leave when I did to everyone who supported me through this journey thank you your advice helped me stay strong when I wanted to give up to anyone in a similar situation trust your instincts don't wait until things get worse there is life after addiction and betrayal and while it might not be the life you planned it can still be beautiful I won't be making any more updates this chapter of

my life is closed and I'm focused on building a better future for and myself