[Music] social media really takes away the the nuts and bolts of human communication provides the surface manifestation so what masquerades is communication so there's a lot of Disconnect in this Society people literally don't know their neighbors neighborhoods are no longer neighborhoods they're isolated are domiciled for the most part which means there's a deep hunger for connection and the social media provides a Similac of connection the the the poens of connection if you're using something for temporary relief or pain relief or or pleasure and you crave it despite negative consequences you got an addiction there's an
American psychologist uh who read that human beings are all creatures with special needs and I think one of our special needs is for meing our lives are not meant to be just lived for the daily sake of physical existence now that meaning in a tribal setting is automatically Reed for you because you're bigger than yourself you belong to something later than yourself and when you're connected with nature you're connected with spiritual practice or belief you have some meaning that that that transcend and your daily struggles for survival this Society has pretty much reduced stuff like
we we talk about meaning a lot and we talk about broad values such as freedom and democracy and so on but that's not what people experience in their daily lives nobody experiences democracy in our daily lives mostly people work in institutions who are told what to do and they have no voice or a matter whatsoever and the freedom is very often reduced to making choice of meaningless alternative so there's a deep and and there's more and more disconnection we've already mentioned so there's there's a deep lack of meaning the addictions can certainly come along and
provide a false temporary but momentarily satisfactory than for me and uh um meaning is is important to all of us we all want to feel there's something more significant about our lives than simply the fact that we have dinner in the evening and we decate in the morning well first of all what's the case in this Society is that people are less than connected uh human beings were not meant to live in these uh from The evolutionary point of we're not designed to live in these complex vast um aggregations we meant to live in small
Hunter B Hunter gather bands where everybody knows everybody else and there's deep connection people and that's how we've lived for the most part for millions of years hundreds of thousands tens of thousands of years of evolution until really quite recent so there's a lot of Disconnect in this Society people literally don't know their neighbors neighborhoods are no longer neighborhoods they're isolated domicile for the most part which means there's a deep hunger for connection and the social media provides a simulacrum of connection the the the the poens of connection and so what do people have on
social media they have friends they like each other these are attachment Dynamics these are connection Dynamics but the friends aren't real friends cuz real friends know your you and you're not afraid to show them who you are in social media people have concocted an artificially Ador Persona and it's these artificial entities that been people like so the individual never gets the sense of being really like CU they know that it's just the image that and and the so-called friends are not there for you when you need them liking and friends are very strong language but
social media is a pale copy of so the less it meets your real needs the more addtive is there the more more would you need to get I'm not sure that it's caused but it certainly revealed the many subcultures in this society and allows people who belong to various ideological groupings to identify one another and to band together and to have sort of a sudu camaraderie so we can all hate the same thing we can all be hostile to the same people um and anybody can express an opinion in the old days News letters to
the newspapers people have to be pretty responsible what they wrote they had to identify themselves social media you can say anything you want about anybody doesn't matter hurtful or wrong how um hateful really and not even identify yourself so it allows people who otherwise are on the margins of society to aggregate in these pseudo groups that then promote one another's most negative Tendencies and there's no guidance there there's no leadership there's nobody to call you to your senses there's nobody to say really do you really mean that is that what you really intend what's really
going on so there's peer groupings without any kind of guidance it's really like a teenage gang phenomenon where people ban together mostly for negative reasons they're lacking contact so they need to band together so that's legitimate but they they get they band together without mentorship without tradition without adult guidance so you see what we see well you see as you and I are speaking to each other early uh we're tracking each other's face and and our air muscles are actually adjusting themselves automatically to hear not just what's being said but also the tone of voice
that is being said and you'll nod when I say something or I might nod or smile when you say something so communication is as much about these non-verbal cues which are mediated through a nerve nervous system as it is about the verbal content and none of that exists on social media it's not genuine communication human communication is almost meant to be face to face and even if I were to write a letter to somebody that was going to mail that's a much more conscious and um deliberate process than dashing something of my social media and
pushing the sand button in a state of tizzy you know so that it's much as impulsive so social media really takes away the the nuts and bols of human communication provides only the surface manifestation so what masquerades is communication is really uh diet tribes very often and I know what it's like because I get an email and which might trigger me and then right away I want to write it out and then push the send button and have I had to learn not to do that because uh there's no reflection there just whatever emotion arises
you express it and then you communicate it right away without any reflection in my book The what the addicts lack very often is emotional self-regulation they they they uh the parts of the brain that regulate our emotions including the oral F cortex just don't develop and addicted people because the conditions for development aren't adequate so the brain does develop an interaction with the environment so now you have a lot of people with brains that are not fully developed they might be intellectually Evol but the emotional circuit time so now you have a lot of people
with emotional underdevelopment communicating impulsively on social media and that's what we're saying and so people will say horrible things on social media that might not that might never even say in real person Dr Gabor mate's talk highlights how social media can trick us into feeling connected when we're actually lonely he reminds us that real friendships and meaningful interactions matter let's remember to cherish genuine connections and communicate with kindness whether online or in person it's about understanding each other and being there for each other let's build a world where everyone feels seen heard and valued thanks
for watching beautiful souls take care and see you on our next video I [Music] [Music]
