My wife wanted to open our marriage. Now I have a new lover and she regrets everything.

My wife wanted to open our marriage. Now I have a new lover, and she regrets everything. Never once did I think I would get to this point, but here we are.

My wife and I have been together for 10 years, but married for eight. We met in college and were each other's first and only. I honestly thought we had a unique and beautiful relationship because of that, but it appears it was just me.

Some time ago, my wife began working at a new company. At first, she found it difficult to fit in because she's always been reserved, but after encouragement from me, she made friends with a group of girls, some of whom were single, divorced, or dating but not married. At first, I was happy she made friends, but then she started going out for drinks and partying.

I became concerned by her change in behavior and tried to talk to her about it, but at the same time didn't want to restrict her in any way. It started to affect our relationship in the bedroom - my wife wasn't one to initiate intimacy, but with her continued going out, she was either too tired or wasn't in the mood. At some point, her company got a new manager who my wife and her friends had taken a liking to.

She began mentioning him in passing, but it got to a point where she was pointing out how he handled certain problems that didn't seem to be work-related. I questioned her on her fascination with this man, and she brushed off my concerns. She even started asking if I regretted not having more experience with women, to which I said no because she is all I ever needed.

For a moment, I saw a flash of sadness in her eyes, but she quickly changed the subject. She started mentioning open marriage as a way to spice things up. I was taken aback because my wife has never been this kind of person.

To be honest, I had first refused and questioned if this had anything to do with the new manager, to which she denied but said she felt like she missed out but at the same time didn't want to lose me, so this was a safer option. I wondered if she was playing with fire then reluctantly and naively agreed. So for a year, my wife goes on dates, has one-night stands, then, as if I didn't see it coming, somehow is in some kind of relationship with that manager.

On the other hand, I had a few dates but no one-night stands because it frequently felt wrong to me. My wife would ask if I was fine, but it really wouldn't change her behavior. At some point, I felt the love I had for her was gone, and it was killing me inside.

I ended up going on a date with an amazing woman who migrated over from South Korea. Of course, this led to more dates until we were intimate. I honestly never had intimacy like I had with this woman.

I never knew a woman could be so giving and make one feel so desirable. At first, my wife thought it was cute, but as the months went by, she began questioning my relationship with my lover. I promptly pointed out that this was her idea and that she was in a relationship with the manager I was concerned about.

She was silent, she looked like she wanted to say something but held her tongue. She began coming home early to surprise me with dinner and get the house extra clean. She also started coming to my workplace to drop off lunch and began to initiate intimacy in the bedroom.

Honestly, if it wasn't for her opening up our marriage, all this would have had me jumping for joy. I barely gave into her attempts at intimacy, and when I did, it was simply to get it over with. Something in me towards my wife had died, so it didn't hit the same.

I asked what brought this change in her. The response I got was that she wants to show me that she loves me and is happy with me. I never intended to, but I burst out laughing.

I asked what about her little group of friends, her manager lover, or her one-night stands. She didn't respond that day and simply went to bed in tears. The next day, I got home to find her waiting for me.

She told me she wants to close our marriage. She said this whole experience was a horrible mistake, she regretted everything, and wanted us to be focused on our relationship again. I told her to be honest with me and tell me what inspired all this in the first place, and wouldn't you know it, it was for a group of friends that planted the idea because of their numerous intimate exploits.

And when her manager came around, he surprisingly supported that lifestyle and encouraged my wife to live free. Apparently, it developed into an emotional affair but only got physical once the marriage opened. She described it as being drunk behind the wheel of a speeding car - it was thrilling and intoxicating, but the price of the decision has become too much for her to bear.

She sees now that she never needed a comparison, and that what we had was truly unique and special, but now she feels like she murdered our marriage and any chance of a life together. I told her I might not ever be able to see her as my wife again, and this made her break down in front of me. I simply held her in silence as she cried until she fell asleep in my arms on the couch.

She has since left her job and cut off contact with all of her friends and her manager. I haven't cut contact with my lover. Quite frankly, she makes me feel like a man.

The truth is, I don't know what to do in this situation. I would love to get the special feeling back, if possible. But my lover basically saved me when I was at my lowest, so I decided to seek therapy.

The therapist seemed nice and experienced. She appeared unbiased and actually eager to help, even in the very first session. My wife took it as an opportunity to lay it all out.

She confessed that this group of friends made her wonder if she had missed her chance because she was committed to her first boyfriend and had no other experiences. She then added that after the new manager started approaching her, some of these friends encouraged her to see where it goes and that this was a chance for her to discover herself. She obviously felt guilty, so she never did anything physical until one of the divorce ones suggested an open marriage as the loophole and told her that some couples come out stronger because of it.

So, after regrettably convincing me to open up the marriage, her so-called "adventure" began. It was intoxicating and blinding but lacked real substance, not like the kind we built over the years. She started to question her reasons for doing this.

She said she could see the hurt in my eyes but told herself this was an adventure. The gravity of it all never really hit her until she noticed the change in me. She said she suddenly felt a pit in her stomach and started to get panic attacks for no reason.

She went to her friends for advice again, but they said it was a normal reaction for me to have during the adventure. She realized how ridiculous this all was and begged them to help her win me back. But they just told her, if she couldn't deal with it, why did she open her marriage in the first place?

She knew then and there that these people were toxic and a threat to our marriage and the life we've built, hence she's been on a mission to win me back by any means necessary. I didn't share much, but I did let the counselor know about the situation on my side with my lover still in the picture. The counselor said no resolution could ever be reached with my lover still in the picture and suggested we book another appointment after tomorrow.

During our second session of counseling, I asked if she was sure nothing physical happened before the opening of our marriage. She looked towards the ground and begged me not to make her say it. She said it would destroy us, but after some pushing, she shared that it wasn't physical but they touched themselves in front of each other.

This convinced her that since it wasn't physical, it wasn't technically cheating. I was absolutely floored by this, and she started shaking and hyperventilating, snot even began flowing from her nostrils as she cried and apologized to me. At this point, even the counselor was taken aback and had a look of disbelief.

My wife got on her knees and hugged my legs, saying how sorry she was. I then asked her what really changed her view of him. She said that one evening as she was leaving a meeting, she passed his office and heard him speaking about her to another male colleague.

He said he was surprised at how easy it was to get her and how she is living proof that you can't trust The Quiet Ones. When the colleague asked if he actually fancied her, his response was that she was a pleasant distraction and that he had absolutely no intention of breaking up with his fiance. He also mentioned how he felt bad for me but "you snooze, you lose.

" My wife, upon realizing that she was nothing more than a piece of meat to this man, added by the fact that she betrayed me for a cheap thrill, actually made her want to end herself at that moment. She said she left her workplace and vomited in the parking lot. I then asked her if she loved him and when it was that she stopped loving me.

She looked me dead in the eye through tears and said she never stopped loving me, which honestly makes it worse. She thought it was love but now realizes how foolish she was. She squeezed my arm with surprising strength and said she knows she messed up but she misses us and the connection we had before all this.

She even suggested we move away and start fresh, just the two of us, just as it was meant to be. I then told her it wouldn't be fair to my lover and that I need time away from her to process all this. She started sobbing harder and saying incoherent things.

She held on to me as if I was going to disappear. The counselor managed to convince her that maybe time apart could help us heal. When we got home, I began to pack.

My wife got a video call from her laptop from one of her former friends in tears. It turns out that after my wife resigned, this friend and the manager began a fling of their own. But apparently she had a pregnancy scare.

To make matters worse, she had a boyfriend whom she apparently could see a future with, and the only reason why she even had a fling was because she was curious about the experience. Funny how that seems to be a trend. Her boyfriend found out because he discovered an email between the two discussing the potential pregnancy.

But the manager accused her of baby trapping him. I just turned and left. I have been staying in an apartment ever since.

I have also seen. A divorce lawyer, at my brother's recommendation, just to be safe. As of now, I am not really willing to fight for this marriage, and it seems my wife can sense it.

Before I left, she tried to initiate intimacy, but when I refused, she yelled and asked, "What does your lover do for you that I can't? " I didn't respond. I shook my head and told her, "If she still couldn't tell after all that's happened, then it's clear where our marriage is headed" and left.

The sad truth is that she would do anything to go back and not make the same bad choices, but things don't work that way. Good luck to you, Rain.