I Lived Like a Billionaire for a Week

foreign all right folks happy New Year it is 20 22. a sequel to 2020. you know the last few years have been a lot but this year this year is going to be different even though this time last year Ontario went into a lockdown in Ontario where I live just went into another lockdown like a few days ago so maybe this year will be different as in it will be even worse who knows but since it's a new year I need to make some changes you know I'm in like the worst shape of my life

I drink too much coffee and wine my body hurts like all the time and I'm sure my mental health could be uh better so I figured this year I should really try to improve myself you know make myself better and document it so you know I could Spire some of you maybe so how am I gonna do it right how do I make myself better well I think the best way to improve yourself is to mirror the habits of happy healthy successful people right and who are the happiest healthiest most successful people in the world

billionaires they're awesome dude billionaires billionaires are the best of us they work hard and they play hard and they look out for the little guy the only way to measure success is through the lens of capitalism and they've got the most cheddar so they're doing something right I want what they have you know I want that Sweet Baby Ray's sweet baby Ray smoking Meats smoking meat okay fine I'll drop the sarcasm billionaires are losers okay they're [ __ ] weird man they're weirdos I wanna [ __ ] stuff them all into a locker figuratively and

literally and then ride that Locker down a mountain like a snowboard Jeff Bezos loser you know how stock market Bros are always you know worried about inflation the only inflation that Jeff Bezos should be worried about is the inflation of his left eyeball it is so much bigger than his right eyeball and I hate it so much I hate it and yes I am body shaming what it what you're gonna stand up for Jeff Bezos his net worth is over 200 billion dollars too much money you're allowed to body shame a billionaire you can body

shame a billionaire as a tree Warren Buffett come on man do you know 50 Shades of Gray was actually named after that guy's teeth look at those things he's got overcast in his mouth dude sorry this video could just be me making fun of Rich old guys but I need to get to the main topic of this video so we all know that becoming a billionaire cannot be done yourself through like hard work it's not gonna happen if you want to make a billion dollars like for yourself if you want to have a billion dollars

at some point or another you're gonna have to exploit the working class that's just the way it goes and a lot of these billionaires are already like born into wealth or just had a way easier path to success if you know what I mean because according to Forbes there are 724 billionaires in America and only seven of them are black kind of an interesting statistic seems like the playing field isn't very even I don't know seriously dude scrolling down the list of the top 25 richest Americans feels like I'm looking at the [ __ ]

bingo hall of fame they're all they're all old white people and the Annoying Thing like billionaires can't just have their money and shut up there's all these billionaires who say if you adopt the right habits and work as hard as they did then you as well can become a billionaire you know that's the lie that they peddle to keep the system working in their favor oh you want to be a billionaire like me okay no problem just keep working keep working okay and even though you're making the product that we're selling you're gonna make pennies

you're gonna make Pennies on the dollar and I'm gonna make billions on the dollar but keep working so to disprove their Theory I am going to put it to the test this week found a video called the one billion dollar morning routine and I'm gonna do this routine every day for a week you know just to see if I feel any different or you know I have this sudden urge to start a [ __ ] Drop Shipping e-commerce website I'm curious and I've seen some people do this uh on YouTube for a day they'll do

the morning routine for one day that's millionaire [ __ ] I'm gonna be a billionaire with a bee so let's watch this video we've all heard that if you could win the morning you could win the day one of the ways to doing that is to create regular rituals and routines so you don't have to think about what you need to do the first thing I do when I wake up is I recall my dreams when you're dreaming is that you're actually processing and integrating and working on Solutions your subconscious mind to the things that

you're focusing on during the daytime okay uh if I'm gonna be honest I don't think my dreams are like that I don't think my dreams are my subconscious trying to fix things I literally had a dream the other night that my doctor got mad at me for eating too many worms what's that mean what does that mean because the only thing that teaches me is the doctor thinks that there is a correct amount of worms to eat and I was eating too many of them I think one worm is too many after that I get

out of bed and I make the bed okay okay okay okay okay so this might be an issue because I usually get up before Jenna and we sleep in the same bed it's whatever I get up before her because kiwi our dog he wakes me up early as [ __ ] every morning to you know go outside and piss and [ __ ] I'm the one who pisses and shits outside he's just reminding me this might be a little tough to do right when I wake up because I don't want to be [ __ ]

pulling and tugging on the sheets to make the bed because Anna's still sleeping so maybe I'll do that after that'll be later in the morning type beat after that what I'll do is I'll go into the kitchen and I'll have a tall glass of water I'll take my supplements there I I take my probiotics which is the big one okay that's easy drink water take probiotics that's that's normal that's I can do that that's the thing I can do um then what I do is I do my breathing think about the things though holy [

__ ] you haven't even taken a breath yet dude oh my God you've recalled Your Dreams made your bed drank a whole glass of water and without even taking a breath that is efficient I guess billionaires don't breathe you know they have enough money to like hire someone to follow them around and just blow air into their lungs and then suck it out I'm thinking about Excellence I'm thinking about hydration I'm thinking about oxygen thinking about Drive think about power we drink water we devoured whether it's box breathing or Alpha breathing sorry Alpha breathing okay

I can't even get there's so many okay I gotta find out what Alpha breathing is hold on okay okay okay I found a video how to do alpha breathing you smile and just allow your tongue to rise to the roof of your mouth all the way back and then you breathe in then you put your tongue below the front teeth and that will allow you to breathe your exhale so much more relaxed you breathe in count of four and then you hold count of eight and then you exhale stay slowly with a smile Alpha was

that dude Sigma breathing is when you don't breathe at all you just [ __ ] die because you're too strong for oxygen you don't need it all right perfect what's next I do my meditation in the morning I do it for about 20 minutes okay I've never meditated before but I think I could do it from there I do one or two minutes of just movement for two minutes straight I'm just waking my body that is not my exercise for the day what okay [ __ ] that seems like more exercise than I would get

all week so that like I said it that implies that I need to work out more I guess don't have to it's only in the morning okay that's fine from there I take a shower and I it's cold shower and I do believe in cold therapy it works for me it helps me to reset my that sucks why would you do that there's an option on the shower to make it hot so why why not use that that's gonna suck okay cold shower [ __ ] then I make a tea and my favorite tea is

like a brain tea yeah human brains in a little tea bag I'm a murderer you know it's a combination of go to Cola Ginkgo lion's mane some MCT oil and some other gems he doesn't say that I can't have a coffee later in the day so I'm still gonna have coffee I think because I'm not I'm I'm not [ __ ] quitting that okay sorry I don't have that willpower I mean I'm not the biggest tea guy what if instead of having tea I sort of spill tea I'll just like talk [ __ ] about

people to myself that's healthy I sip my tea and that's where I write my journal Jesus man this is like a whole day of activities and this is the morning routine next is gonna be like and then in your morning routine you have lunch and then dinner and then you go to bed then since I'm writing already I'm go to my to-do list the big thing is I just want to be able to accomplish uh as a total win three things for work and three things personally this is what I mean man like this isn't

a morning routine for people who want to become a billionaire I feel like this is a morning routine for the people who are already billionaires and have the freedom to do that three things that's it dude imagine if you worked at McDonald's and like you only did three things during your shift you'd get fired man you get fired [ __ ] real quick but okay three things that's easy I also have a list uh to feel list because I feel like we are a lot of our uh who we are as our states and emotions

Jesus Christ man that's the most like not human thing I've I've ever heard are you gonna plan how you feel that day that's [ __ ] I mean I wish that was the case oh my God that'd be so nice I also have besides a to-do list and a to feel list I also look at my to be list you know do I want to be a good partner do I want to be a good friend and a good um a good leader a good teacher a good coach I feel into what I want to

be that day okay shouldn't you want to be those things every day please [ __ ] be a good partner was yesterday today I'm an elephant wow [Music] you sounded like a monkey okay well I didn't say a good elephant we're not human doings right we're human beings [Applause] [ __ ] you dude from there if I have time I will and I'll make time for the things that are most important is I read okay reading that's I I can do that I know how to do that he also doesn't say what I have to

read so that's good get a couple of Playboy mags am I right fellas sorry I wrote horny on my to feel list and on my to be list so after my I do my reading then I go and I um I make my brain smoothie brain berries which are you okay Jesus Christ man this guy's brain must be [ __ ] huge if I don't know what this guy looks like but I'm picturing like that brain berries which are your blueberries and avocado and your leafy vegetables and water and everything smoothie sounds [ __ ]

disgusting blueberries avocado leafy greens and water and when I'm done with that smoothie I go through my brain training that's what she said in uh one of our quick learning online programs at quicklearning.com oh [ __ ] you [ __ ] you man turning this into an ad okay so brain training after that got it all right so that was all a morning routine all of those things that wasn't a morning routine man that was a morning recital it was a morning Ensemble I think but just to recap just to check if I have it

all written down here first I recall my dreams and I make my bed drink a tall glass of water then I can finally take a breath and then I meditate for 20 minutes move my body for two minutes take a cold shower drink some tea Journal make a to-do list make a to feel list make a to b list read make a brain smoothie and then I train my brain that's 15 things to to do before I even start my day I have to go back to bed after all this [ __ ] okay well

I'm gonna go to the grocery store to get all these things for my billionaire journey and then tomorrow we start the experiment so I'll see you then on my first day of my billionaire morning routine I was woken up by my dog kiwi and as much as I tried to recall my dreams I had to take my little guy piss and [ __ ] look at him go that's my son this is my boy okay I just got back from walking kiwi and honestly man it is negative 20 outside so I feel like I just

took a cold shower but I'll still do it but I thought I'd recall my dreams really quick last night I dreamed that why two dreams the first dream was about me being stuck in Los Angeles trying to fly back to Toronto but I saw Spider-Man and then I missed my flight I don't know what that means I think that's my subconscious telling me that I want to see Spider-Man again but I have too many things that I need to do so I can't go see it again and the second dream I had I wet the

bed in a hotel and not like accidentally I just like went up to the the bed and pulled down my pants and pissed on it I don't know what that means maybe some of you dream interpreters can let me know but that's the first thing done I'm gonna go make my bed and have a glass of water I made my side of the bed the best I could while Jenna was still sleeping she kept saying Curtis what the heck you just woke me up which was weird because she doesn't usually talk in her sleep then

I made my way down to the kitchen and poured myself a tall glass of water you know even in the glass world the the tall version is preferred over the short version this world is cruel and unfair I finished my big drink of water and let me tell you the human body's water percentage is 70 but I was starting to feel like the one percent you smile and just allow your tongue to rise to the roof of your mouth all the way back and then you breathe in then you put your tongue below the front

teeth and that will allow you to be your exhale so much more relaxing and then you breathe in and then you breathe in down to four and then you breathe in hold count of eight and then you breathe in and then you exhale very slowly with the smile next up was meditation I use the app headspace and it was kind of like listening to a podcast but not funny but don't worry I found a way to make it hilarious at the same time just noticing any sound for not resisting The Sounds around you allowing them

to come and go and noticing all the different sounds I farted okay I just did 20 minutes of medication no meditation it did feel nice to just kind of like sit and breathe for a bit I don't I don't ever do that so that was kind of nice I almost fell asleep but like 20 minutes is too long man at least a 10 minute Mark I was like just come I'm [ __ ] bored so maybe that it means something about my brain I don't I don't know maybe I'll get better at it maybe I'll

shorten it to like 15 or 10 minutes but 20 minutes man that's too long to deal with my own thoughts okay now I gotta move my body for two minutes we interrupt this YouTube video to show you our new product moving around for two minutes you ever want to work out but not get any actual results do you want to get just sweaty enough to realize you haven't put on deodorant yet well try moving around for two minutes okay just moved my body for two minutes I don't know if it picked up on the camera's

mic but my bones were cracking so much sounded like a bowl of rice krispies over there man now I gotta go take a cold shower so see you in the next life I guess this was the part I was dreading the most choosing to have a cold shower is like having a car but making horses pull you around in that car technology has advanced you know get an engine and as you can see from my face right here I'd like to quit turkey cold showers sorry I'm still so [ __ ] cold I messed up

the saying okay hot take on cold showers they [ __ ] suck I don't know why people do that it doesn't feel good it doesn't wake me up I'm I'm sort of just pissed off now so I don't really feel like a billionaire yet but I think by the end of the week I'll be evading my taxes like crazy now I gotta make a tea and do my journaling I couldn't find any of the [ __ ] that billionaire was talking about so I got this stress relief tea because I was stressed that I couldn't

find any of this [ __ ] that billionaire was talking about I then began my journaling process okay I am in the journaling corner I need to make my to-do list my to feel list and my to be list I guess my first on my to-do list is get a better pen because this one doesn't [ __ ] work I have to do three things for work and three things personally okay I think I did in my journaling I'd even have my tea yet because it's so hot wow I wish I wish I could I'd

you know I wish I could pour this on me if it would feel better than that shower wow God it's just either it's so cold or so boiling hot okay so let me show you my journal uh my to-do list here I got a uh you know get a better pen and I already [ __ ] nailed that have a meeting because I have a meeting later today I have to clean my office and I have to start on a script to feel I put a funny happy and strong which are sort of my main

three and then to be I put a good listener a clean boy and a billionaire journal and tea done what's next now I gotta read for 20 minutes and then I gotta make my brain smoothie okay I don't know where or when we got this book but it's called the money book for Freelancers part-timers and the self-employed so this is pretty [ __ ] perfect for this billionaire [ __ ] that I'm doing so I'm gonna read this for 20 minutes set a timer because I don't want to read for a second longer than I

have to I started reading my money book but I was so tired just kidding I [ __ ] pranked you guys I told you billionaires play hard as I absorb this knowledge into my Alpha Brain my stomach began to growl like a cool business lion I need a brain smoothie I got my essentials here my frozen blueberries I got an avocado and spinach and the most important ingredient water I woke up at eight o'clock it is 10 30 now so to do all those things mind you I've been like moving my tripod and setting up

to film and stuff but that's like two hours of stuff just goes to show you man billionaires they got time to fart around in the morning I don't want like a big one I don't know I don't know I haven't made a smoothie in a long time blender I hardly know her should I do a whole avocado or is that crazy I feel like half an avocado is fine if I do a full one this will be like a just a really weird guacamole I'll do half I'll do half of an avocado there's probably enough

spinach and some water yum here we go let's Crank It Up all right it looks like mud it looks like it's come straight from the swamp oh hello but um okay well it's not good I'll tell you that it sort of tastes like spinach and blueberries and avocado and a little bit of water got it so thick oh my God it's like trying to drink a burger it's like it's solid billionaires you have all the money you have all the money you can have the sickest [ __ ] smoothies every day this is it this

is what you want [ __ ] I almost forgot my probiotic also there's one more thing I have to do and that's brain training I don't know what I'm gonna do maybe I'll find like a game online that I can do all right let's have this probiotic uh okay maybe I'll drink this while I play my brain games let's go okay I'm in my messy office that I need to clean later today I'd really like to start but I have to [ __ ] keep doing my morning routine okay [ __ ] Sudoku oh jigsaw

puzzles let's do a puzzle as I rearrange the jagged pieces into a beautiful picture I couldn't help but feel like this was a metaphor for this journey I am now a Broken Man torn apart in pieces but with the billionaire morning routine on my side I knew I would be whole again boom bam well that's the first morning routine done I this video could be like an hour long I'm not gonna show this for every morning because that's ridiculous but um I'll film stuff maybe do like a voiceover for recap for the next six days

so far this is just more work for me to do before I do it I have to do the things that I have to do and want to do so it's kind of annoying cold showers sucked this smoothie sucks balls so I don't know my I'm not feeling too good so far but maybe by the end of the week I'll notice a difference so so I'll see you then [Music] okay hey guys uh it's been about a week of me doing this uh morning routine so I thought we'd go over everything together there were some

positives you know that arose from this whole experience but there are also a lot of negatives as well so I'll go down the list of everything in the morning routine and I'll let you know if you should buy or sell that part of the morning routine oh sorry listen to me I'm such a billionaire I can only speak in stock market terms market cap first up recalling my dreams uh so this was [ __ ] pointless I honestly I don't know why anybody would ever do that because now I just have a weird list on

my phone of all the stupid dreams I've had I'll I'll read some I just wrote down uh there was a mean customer at a McDonald's I don't remember that one there was a big spaceship on the moon and I got scared there's another dream where I got in trouble for bringing alcohol to like an airport the last dream I went to a bar with Asher Roth you know the guy who sings I Love College what does that mean I guess billionaires have like the sickest dreams ever that's why they're always recalling them recalling their wet

dreams or something I don't know recalling your dreams so uh next up is making your bed you know when I was a kid I would always be like what why would I have to make my bed I'm just gonna sleep in it later right it's gonna be messy again but I think finally at my ripe old age of 27 I finally get it your teeth are just gonna get dirty again but you know you should still brush them right so making your bed bye drinking a glass of water call me crazy but I also think

you should do that uh billionaires really popped off with that one and also in about 50 years time I feel like billionaires will be the only people who'll be able to afford clean drinking water so enjoy it while you can bye Alpha breathing sell okay get rid of that real quick I'm breathing all day long I don't need to sit down and to breathe just specifically you know what I mean but hey if they ever make a cat's movie uh they should cast me in it because after all that Alpha breathing I'm a pretty good

hisser oh they already made a cat's movie wow I gotta watch that meditation uh this was actually the part that surprised me the most I actually like really enjoyed that that was like it was really nice you know I got to just sit down and not really think about anything and by the end of the week I got pretty good at it next up was moving my body for two minutes so moving her body for two minutes in the morning is a great way to uh you know get the blood flowing and the heart pumping

I think it's a great thing you should incorporate into your morning routine unfortunately for personal reasons I will not be doing that and the personal reason being I don't want to all of you should do that but like I don't know if I'm gonna work out I'll just work out you know what I mean bye cold showers can't really say anything about that other than Jesus right I hate this Jesus okay I hate it it's really cool they sucked man they saw I don't I don't get it okay if you if you have the option

to have a hot shower and you take a cold shower I don't trust you okay probably getting an apple a [ __ ] Panera too you weirdo brain tee sell okay just have coffee dude I already had a great morning routine where I would get up and I'd immediately make coffee and drink it and it was awesome so replacing that with Stress Relief Tea honestly kind of [ __ ] stressed me out so sell it get rid of it journaling okay listen I'm all for a to-do list all right to-do lists are great but I'll

tell you right now to feel less and to be lists are the most pointless thing a person can do I'm sorry dude that [ __ ] was so dumb I mean it might be good for billionaires who are like so far removed from being an actual human being that they need to remind themselves to like have empathy and emotions but for the average Joe it's pointless so next up is reading okay well I mean what kind of example would I be setting if I'm telling people to not read so bye reading is fun brain smoothies

uh I'm totally okay with smoothies okay I've never been against smoothies but what I had was not a smoothie I just had a bunch of fruits and vegetables in a blender and some of you might be like that's literally the definition of a smoothie and to that I say [ __ ] you final verdict on brain smoothies bye some orange juice to put in there or literally anything else okay [ __ ] pour hot sauce in there okay give me something and last but not least brain games usually I'm not about people playing games with

your brain you know give it to me straight did I get the role as cat number five in the cats movie yes or no but a little puzzle to do every morning that's a whole lot of fun okay so in the words of Nsync Bye Bye Bye okay in conclusion in conclusion I don't feel any different uh after a week of doing that and I honestly never felt more like productive or motivated I will say I did get a good amount of work done but I think that's only because I spent so much [ __

] time doing that whole morning routine so I was working extra hard in the afternoon to catch up on all the work that I missed in the morning dude even on the days where I like didn't film myself like doing the routine it had zero effect on me I guess I'm impervious to becoming a billionaire don't get me wrong I think a morning routine is very important but that's what it should be right a routine not a checklist from some weird guy who says we're not human beings right human beings in the morning you should

just do the things that will prepare you and get ready for your day and nobody knows what that is except for you honestly dude I think people who say they do this much [ __ ] in the morning are [ __ ] Liars I think they're lying I refuse to believe that anybody gets up in the morning and does all of this [ __ ] there's no [ __ ] way because you know what's really funny the first day I went back to my usual morning routine of like me waking up having coffee and immediately

and then going to my office to start work I felt incredible that's the best I felt in a week because I didn't have to waste my time doing all that [ __ ] that was supposed to motivate me and make me feel better obviously content like the billion dollar morning routine is just hustle grind set propaganda and following this morning routine is not going to make you a billionaire so with that logic I think you need to do the exact opposite of this morning routine to actually become a billionaire so here it is okay here

is the real billion dollar morning routine first thing you do when you wake up pour a bottle of red wine on your sheets and then I don't care how [ __ ] thirsty you are you go downstairs and you have a sleeve of Saltines all to yourself and then you do some beta breathing it's kind of like Alpha breathing but instead on every exhale you go oh I'm a little cook next instead of meditating You're Gonna Play The Thomas the Tank Engine theme song at full blast and you're gonna sit there and think about every

single mistake you've ever made in your life and then you go upstairs get in the shower and you make it as hot as you can make it so hot that it sets your journal on fire and while that wet Journal is Up in Flames you make it to feel list and you leave it blank today you feel nothing then you go back downstairs pull out your blender or a can of Mountain Dew in there along with a fistful of Cosmic Brownies and you just guzzle that down until you can't feel your legs anymore okay and

that's fine you don't need them for what you're about to do you're gonna Park your ass down and play Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 until you pass out due to exhaustion or a heart attack from the Smoothie good morning there you go there's a little hack for you there's the real billion dollar morning routine because having a morning routine it is pretty important but you know what's more important than a morning routine an evening routine and my evening routine is making a delicious meal with hellofresh the sponsor of this week's video folks I've been eating

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of an old TV show or something so I hope you guys enjoyed it if you want more videos like this leave a comment let me know press a like button because believe it or not one like equals one worm that I will eat so hopefully my doctor isn't watching you can check out the description for the things I do my weekly podcast called very really good my twitch my gaming channel all that stuff is down in the description so please check it out but yeah thanks for watching hope you enjoyed it hope you learned something

um I would stick around but unfortunately I have to go I have to go brush Warren Buffett's teeth so see ya oh wow that's smart what do you think he can't read and neither can I