there are lots of little nuances and things that can happen when you're dating somebody new that can cause things to go incredibly well and things that you can do that cause the dynamic to totally fizzle and die and where we can run into a little bit of trouble is if we're lacking a little bit of self-awareness in some of the areas that actually have a big impact on the connection and chemistry that's developing between two people so in today's video I'm going to share with you six top turnoff that men might inadvertently do when they're
getting to know one woman and how you can winter back over if you've in fact done some of these things I'm going to share with you today now it's important to understand that a turnoff is subjective and what might turn off one woman might not bother another but today I'm going to share common turnoff that are very likely impacting the attraction and connection you're developing so it's probably best to steer clear of all of them together welcome back to my channel my name is cimberly Hill and a men's life dating and relationship coach and the
first turnoff is an overemphasis on physical appearance while it is understandable that you want to be physically attracted to the woman that you're dating what I'm referring to here is either an overemphasis on her physical appearance or an overemphasis on your own if during the date you're complimenting her appearance the way she is dressed the way her eyes look the way she's done her hair and you're failing to compliment the whole person or her personality or her intelligence you run the risk of her seeing you as superficial because you're prioritizing looks versus a deeper more
meaningful connection or more meaningful aspects of her this can become off-putting if the focus stays here and it's going to suggest that you're not really interested in other areas of your connection but rather only on her physical appearance it can also quickly make a woman feel uncomfortable and objectified if you're reducing her to physical attributes versus seeing her as a whole individual while women like getting compliments about their looks if this becomes your Soul focus it can make her feel devalued and uncomfortable now if the overemphasis is directed towards yourself where you're making comments for
example about how long it took you to pick out this outfit or how you've been worrying about different hairstyles you've been choosing and she might begin to interpret this either you being incredibly insecure and seeking validation or it might signal that you're a little narcissistic in the sense that you're wanting all the attention directed on you and your style choice in any case if this is something you've been a little guilty of you want to be mindful of overemphasizing physical characteristics whether they are hers or yours so that you can focus on building connections that
go beyond the physical now the last thing you want to do is show up to a date where you're perceived as having a lack of substance because you're unwilling to or unsure about how to engage in meaningful conversations or activities beyond the surface level so make sure you're balancing the topic of conversations you're not being inadvertently perceived as shallow now the second major turnoff is an inability to apologize firstly nothing is more of a turnoff than someone who lacks accountability so if you notice that you have a refusal to apologize it's going to frustrate a
partner who values things like honesty and openness so if you're running a little late to a date or you've messed up with some area of your connection or you've even said something that's hurt your date's feelings it's important that you own up and apologize for any wrongdoings now apologies don't always necessarily mean that you fully agree with the other person's perspective but it's important that you seek to understand it so if you're not used to apologizing for your behaviors and actions it's likely you're going to struggle to develop things like trust and a deep emotional
connection with someone because the refusal to own your part is going to create a lack of respect for your date if you've got a hard time apologizing for your behaviors start by understanding the impact of how your actions might have affected the other person emotionally mentally or even in some other way learning to develop your sense of empathy is going to be so crucial when it comes to connecting with a woman who values deep and meaningful relationships now the third major turnoff for a woman is excessive baggage if you had a string of tough relationships
or you had a childhood that wasn't really supportive of you you might be bringing this emotional back baggage to the dating realm now it's understandable that many of us have gone through traumatic experiences or even developed a bit of PTSD from our relationships but it is our responsibility to understand how this is going to impact any new relationships moving forward so if you're bringing in a lot of heavy emotional weight unresolved issues fears and insecurities it might become challenging for you to fully engage in a new relationship as well as to trust the experience without
even being aware of it this might be negatively impacting how you're behaving and interacting in current situations you might be behaving in a really anxious and mistrustful way be dealing with challenges in your communication or bringing in a lot of hesitancy and guardedness into your new relationships this might be hindering the natural progression and make it challenging for both of you to grow together plus if you are using your date as a sounding board to talk about all your unresolved issues it's like going to push them very far away from you because this is more
emotional dumping than it is bonding and connection now in some cases you might actually run the risk of connecting with a woman over your traumas and that is an unhealthy Bond because this signifies that the individual you're dating also has unresolved traumas and that's not what you want to be connecting over so if you're not quite ready to be dating or you haven't dealt with the traumas and emotional scars that have occurred Ur in your life in a productive manner then this is a good place to start because in order to love someone else you
first must love yourself now the fourth major turnoff for women is an inattentiveness on your date we live in a generation of holding mobile phones in our pockets and in our hands all the time and this has actually become one of the biggest barriers to us connecting to other people so if you notice that on your date you're checking your phone constantly you're having a hard time paying attention to her or you're really distracted by your environment this is going to turn a woman off because she's ultimately going to feel like you do not want
to be in this space with her now that might not actually be the case for you maybe you're really distracted or you have a lot going on you're finding it really difficult to be present or perhaps you're really stressed out because you have an important message you're waiting for so this is you know causing you to check your phone but in this case it might be better to coordinate a date for another evening when you're able to fully show up and be present as you're getting to know someone it's important that you're actually attuning to
them and paying attention to the words that they are saying because active listening ultimately shows respect for the other person so if you've noticed that you've been really checked out on a date and this is affecting your connection make sure you apologize for any wrongdoing and practice active listening put away distractions and really show genuine interest and spending quality time together perhaps you need to choose a new environment or create dates that have you actively engaging rather than a busy restaurant or a loud show where it's tempting to pick up our phones and get lost
in the crowd now the fifth major turnoff for women is a lack of communication skills now this is something that many of us struggle with because a lot of us are communicating through our phones versus practicing having in-person interactions maybe you're a little introverted or you lack some basic social skills and this ultimately is going to turn a woman off you because communication is how we open the doorway to deeper connection so it's important to remember that communication is not just the words you say but it's also the tone of your voice your intonation as
well as your body language so it's not just about whether or not you can carry on deep and interesting conversations but a lack of communication skills might also mean you're withholding your true thoughts and feelings or you're really hiding something because there's a discomfort in communicating openly or your body language is simply off communication is a hugely important factor when you're getting to know someone new as well as one of the pieces of glue that holds our long-term relationships together so if this is an area that you struggle with a little bit you're just simply
going to want to develop your social skills to improve the quality of your life full stop this means that you might have to put yourself out of your comfort zone and make new friends or practice conversations or go to new events so that you're able to work on small talk with new people so that when you go on a date with a woman it doesn't feel like the most stressful event you've had that year if you're noticing your date is being a little bit turned off by your lack of communication skills you'll also want to
share with her that this is an area you're working on she so she understands that this is not a reflection of your disinterest in her but rather an area of your life that you're actively working on improving this will help your day at least understand where you're coming from versus her making assumptions that are going to create distance between you two there is a really big difference between introversion shyness and social anxiety so you may want to refer to one of my earlier videos where I help clarify this distinction because the way you want to
overcome and deal with this might have different approaches now the last and final turnoff for women is poor hygiene and sense of style now this one might seem like an obvious area for most people but poor hygiene isn't just whether or not you didn't bathe that day poor hygiene might also mean that you've overdone your use of cologne or you shower with too many scented items it could also be dirty or unwashed clothing dirt under your fingernails clothes that don't fit you smoke that is lingered on your fingertips and your clothing and just generally how
you represent yourself from your smell your look and your body language the way you care for yourself is going to represent how you feel about yourself so if the way you're presenting yourself on a date is little untidy and a little disheveled that is going to translate into the dating process as I don't really care to be here or I'm an insecure person now differences in personal hygiene as well as style preferences really impact our compatibility so if a woman's put in a lot of time and effort to look good and smell good on a
date and she goes out and meets a guy who hasn't put in the same effort it's probably going to create a sense of mismatch priorities so just make sure you invest in some good breath mints develop a routine that's going to allow you to show up to a date looking fresh feeling good and smelling good so there you have it there are six areas that are going to turn off women during the dating experience but it's also areas of your life they're going to have a negative impact on any relationship you form so it's important
to identify and address any of these turnoff because it's important for maintaining healthy and successful relationships no matter where you go I hope you enjoyed today's video drop your comment below and don't forget to subscribe for more videos just like this [Music] one
