Lição 6: Comunicação e Influência

Hey class, we are week six and today we're going to be talking about communication and influence. They go hand in hand and as a leader and as a pastor, you have to have clear communication. I'll be speaking generally to pastors as they're the communicators of the church uh from the pullpit and beyond. uh they have to have that communication skill not just in their preaching but in their leadership as well. So uh I I'll be speaking to the pastors on how to clearly communicate. I'll talk about the big three. Uh it's it's a it's a

simple pattern of preparing a sermon where you can communicate it well. I'll talk about that at the end. But I want to talk to each and every one of you guys again. Please take notes. I hope you've been praying. I hope you've been doing good on the multi- uh multiple quiz uh answers and I I hope this class has been beneficial to each and every one of you guys. So pastors and leaders are to be clear communicators. I didn't say elegant or loud. Your scream could have false information in it. Your speech uh it has

a purpose and it produces and its purpose is to produce action. get people to think, change, and execute what the the lessons, what the teachings are. You will influence uh when your actions match your words. You're not telling others what to do and you do the opposite. Your actions must match what you're saying, what you're communicating. So, let me ask you this question. Think of a leader whose words shaped your life. What made their communication powerful? Just think about that for a moment. What what what are some leaders in your life who you you say,

"Man, this leader shaped my life." It could be a parent, a teacher, a pastor, someone in the community, a friend. Maybe it's a another family member, a grandparent, an uncle, an aunt, a cousin. I don't know who that is that has influenced you. I got to say someone who influenced me really is my father. My dad, as I shared earlier, was a a pastor, a missionary. He helped plant over 400 churches uh in his lifetime of of surrendering to the mission of of ministry. And his influence in my life was that he just didn't talk

about it. He showed it. He would go into the some of the the most scariest uh gangridden, druginfested, very violent communities. And he was pretty much uh we we called him the Mr. Rogers or the Bill Gates looking kind of guy. He was he was always wearing, you know, uh his his his glasses and and he'd have his khakis on and and he'd go into these very hard places and he'd share the gospel. He would tell people, "Hey, we need to go to the hard places." And you know what he did? He went into the

hard places and shared the gospel. So, he influenced me a lot. You guys probably see my cat right there. That's Leo. Um as most leaders uh most leaders conflict conflict is not their doctrine or their policy. It's about tone, timing, and trust. Let me say that better. Most leadership conflict is not about doctrine or policy. It's about tone, timing, and trust. Those three things, the the three T's, the tone, the timing, and the trust, those are are strong, man. That's the best thing that each and every one of us should have. We should have a

good tone. Clearly telling people, not in a in a rough tone or a a soft tone. Find that that place where you can have that tone that's that's great to communicate. And then the timing. There's got to be uh moments where you just got to hold your tongue even though you want to say something right now, but it might not be the right timing. And and with all those things come trust. Communication is not optional for leaders. Influence follows through words. And I'll explain that a lot more as we go through this. Pastors are shepherds

with voices, not just decision makers. You have to decide. You have to make decisions, but you got to communicate it verbally. You got to say something. Some of the biblical uh foundations is is that we we need to speak truth with grace. Proverbs 15:1 says, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Isn't that true? When when when someone is gently trying to calm you down, trying to figure out what why are you bothered, trying to bring a a solution to your problem, it's it's it's great when they come gentle,

not storming in like do this, do this, do this. And and and so a harsh word could stir up even more anger. We we got to be clear on our approach. We have to be gentle to answer, to to correct, and to teach. Gentl, gentleness is not weakness. It's the opposite. It's strength to be gentle in a in a situation that is is is out of control. And if you can go into that like like a fireman into a a big raging fire, they can't just panic. They got to be calm. When they're calm, there

there's better focus. And that's what you need in situations that are heated. You need to have focus. Why? Because you're trying to bring solution. You're not trying to escalate the the situation. Words can deescalate or inflame situations. That I I've seen that happen in my life multiple times. I could I can set the tone of an argument or some problem that's going on. I can I can make it even worse and prolong it or I can quickly solve it by the tone by the by the way I approach it with gentleness and and trying not

to be the winner in the situation. I'm trying to let every one of us win. All of us win when we bring a solution to the problems. In Colossians 4 verse 6 it says let your speech always be with grace as though seasoned with salt so that you will know how you should respond to each person. So again, your speech it it should be really accompanied and and and just filled with grace. And that salt that salt is a preservant. It it it should be something that that makes uh like like putting salt on potatoes

or or or or on food. How it just it just in it it enhances the the taste of that food. So, your word should be enhanced by the salt of that grace that's on it. And and this will allow you to respond to each person as as you should. Here's some teaching points from from Colossians 4:6. Grace, it equals posture of the heart. Salt, it equals truth, clarity, and substance. Christian leadership requires both. We must have grace peppered with salt of of the truth and the clarity that that can can bring substance to the matter.

Grace without truth is vague. Truth without grace. Here's some leadership communication principles that I hope that you can write down. The the number one principle is leaders set the tone. Leaders set the tone. The leader tone becomes the team's tone. What you do, everybody else is going to start doing as you lead them. Anxious leaders create anxious cultures. If you're, "Oh my goodness, I can't wait or I don't know what's going to happen." All of a sudden, you get everybody else chiming in and and joining you with your anxiety, with your your anxiousness. Calm, gracious

leaders cultivate safety. When you are around someone calm, they're they they make make it seem they they have confidence. They're assured where they're what they're doing and where they're going. And that that cultivates safety, especially if you're uh if if you've ever been on a sailboat with um on a tour and and the the person that's doing it, if they're fun, if they're relaxed, man, you know that you can relax. But if they're serious and they're walking around like you're like, "Oh my goodness, man. Is this dangerous?" So you as a leader your calmness it

it cultivates safety. So uh for for pastors how you can apply this is is through leadership meetings. You set the tone for the team by meeting with your leadership. So, so apply this by having uh meetings with your your key leaders, your your worship leader, uh the deacons, uh those that have uh your administrators, all the different gifts that we learned from last last week. You you want to put that team together and have meetings with them. Uh some have weekly meetings, some have daily meetings. It it all depends on how you want to operate

as a leader to get things done. You might meet once a week and then through the week it just doesn't seem like things are getting done. So maybe you need to have another meeting. And if that's the case, then you might have to do that for a while until you build up your leaders to know how how to to uh apply and and have action of what you met them with and what you said. Here's here's the game plan. here's some of the things that we're going to be doing this week in ministry and they

go do it. Don't think they're just going to do it right away at the first time. So when you're very your very early gears of of of building this team together, you may need to spend more time together, building that relationship, building that uh rapport among each other and and setting that tone by you being just as excited to meet, not as a as it's a burden, but you're you're excited to meet because we're we're in this together. And so uh leadership meetings are good. The other thing is as pastors, you're going to have to

have conflict conflict um conversations. There's going to be some conflicts because you're dealing with people and people are sinners and they have problems and uh they bring conflict. They bring all kinds of problems to other people. And so you're going to have to uh use that calm, gracious, gentle tone when you're dealing with conflict with these with with people. And and also in disciplehip correction, you're going to need to go into it with grace. just salt salt it with with with with with gentleness and and and calmness as you're you're you're discipling someone um through

the word to correct them. Um don't just point to the scripture, hey, read that, write it a hund times until you get get it down. Uh but just talk to them with gentleness and and show that that you do love them. That's going to develop trust as you communicate with them. The second principle is listening is a leadership skill. Listening is a leadership skill. Listening is not passive. It is pastorial. This is what I mean. When you're an active listener, it includes eye contact and presence. You're not just looking around looking at your phone, but

you're you're you're focused in here. Here's here's like a a pro tip. What I've learned is is when you start to lean, that shows you're interested and that you're you're focused. You're laser focused on who you're talking to. So, if you need to lean a little bit, if you're standing, you can do it. If you're sitting, you can do it. Just lean in. That way, you're you're you're showing the person that I am focused and paying attention just to you. That is powerful. That is powerful when you're listening to somebody. So, eye contact and being

present is one. Not interrupting, not just interrupting just to get it over with. Let them get it out and listen. And as they're as you're listening, ask clarifying questions. Did you mean this or are you saying this? You want to be very clear before you bring any answers, before you bring some uh some advice to the person or you're when when you're trying to help them, you want to help them in what they need. And so you need to be very precise by asking questions just to get clarity and then summarize what you heard. And

that's by repeating what they said. So, you're saying that when you came home, your kids were were not doing the homework and this and that, and so you're asking, "How do I stop getting so angry? It's not helping the situation." And so, you're you're repeating the person's scenario. I came home, kids didn't do their homework, and I started yelling and throwing stuff around, and and that I just felt bad. I I don't think that that was appropriate. I don't think that was beneficial of me parenting. So, can you give me some advice? You're repeating all

that. So, people don't feel led when they feel unheard. People don't feel led when they feel unheard. So, listening is a very keen leadership skill. The other principle of listening is is speak to build not to win. Leadership is not about winning arguments. It's about winning hearts. Jesus asked questions more than he made statements. Let me let me repeat that because when I was studying for this to teach you guys this, it it it was a astounding. And I'll I'll uh share some of the other findings that I found about Jesus and how he asked

questions. Jesus asked more questions. Let me say that again. Jesus asked questions more than he made statements. Jesus asked questions more than he made statements. Jesus asked over 300 questions and he roughly asked 183 questions as he answered back. So out of the 300, 183 of them was him giving more questions to the to the person that was asking him questions about something. Jesus, listen to this, answered only eight out of the 300. That that surprised me when I was doing the research for this. I couldn't believe that Jesus only answered eight out of the

300 questions he was given. That says something. Why do we always feel like we have to have the answer? That we have to reply to every question that somebody has for for us that we have to respond and and and tell them, well, this is the fact. Maybe it's because we we want to show that we know things and we don't want to be discovered as dumb. Jesus wasn't dumb, right? And so, we can take clues or we should learn from Jesus. We don't have to answer everything and if we we're asked a question ask

a question back as as I was sharing earlier just to get clarification and then look Jesus seemed less interested in providing information and more interested in transformation that that is that is powerful think about that Jesus was interested in pro wasn't interested in providing information he was more interested in transformation. By not giving an easy answer, he forced his listeners listeners to do self-reflection, meaning examine their own motives for asking. He got them to think critically, dig deeper into the spiritual meaning behind the law and then take responsibility, arrive at the truth themselves rather than

being fed a fact. Jesus used questions and they were powerful questions for sure and they were they were aligned with what was going on in this in this in the uh in the situation. He wasn't trying to divert and deflect. He was trying to get transformation happening in those that were asking. So he he was looking at the motive of the question and then he wanted them to think critically to get the deep understanding of the spiritual uh principles the how to apply these things of the law that they they're questioning him on. And then

he wanted them to take responsibility arrive at the truth themselves rather than being fed the facts. He he wanted them to own it. That's what questions do. So Jesus asks questions. The fourth principle is influence versus authority. Authority comes from position can enforce compliance and shortterm effectiveness. But look what what influence does. It comes from trust. Invites volunteer voluntary fellowship. and long-term effectiveness. So Jesus modeled this. Uh I I want us to look at uh John 13 verse 12-15. How Jesus modeled this. He he he modeled it in in this this scenario or this scene

that I I've talked about earlier when it when it was about servant leadership. It says in verse 12 in John 13, "So when he had had washed their feet and taken his garments and reclined at the table again, he said to them, "Do you know what I have done to you? You call me teacher and Lord, and you are right. For so I am. If I then, the Lord and the teacher, washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I gave you an example that you also should do as I did

to you. Another uh part is in Philippians chapter 2 verse 5-8 on on leading like Jesus. This is this is what what Paul says to the to the Philippians in in chapter 2 verse 5. Have this attitude in yourselves, which was also in Christ Jesus, who although he existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to grasp to be grasped, but emptied himself, taking the form of a bond servant, and being made in the likeness of men, being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient

to the point of death, even debt on a cross. So, so there's influence and then there's authority. Jesus had both, but he influenced even greater by being a servant and doing it. Not talking about it, but doing it. He laid aside position, chose service, and gained lasting lasting influence. So le here's some some principles. This is the truth. People will follow your title only when they have to. They will follow your influence when they trust you. Trust takes time. Demanding is the opposite. Trust is the leader and followers best friend. Each of you enjoy it.

When you have someone you can trust and and and you're following them, man, it's just peace. And man, isn't it peaceful when you have followers that trust you? So, your trust is is so valuable. And that comes from communicating it and then doing it, too. Not just getting everybody else to do stuff, but you do it, too. Some of us had to do it on the way to being a leader. You were faithful with little and God, he rose you up to then be a leader because you know what it takes. You've done it yourself.

You were uh doing things faithfully, getting things done. You're you're you're listening to your leader and you're making it a joy for that leader to where then now you became a leader and you want to be that great leader that you may have had as an example in front of you. And so uh your trust is is is going to take some time. It is is not going to be automatic. The only automatic is authority. You've been given this this title and so now we have to listen to you. It shouldn't be where people have

to do it. They should want to follow you. Think of how you would respond in the following scenarios. And I want you to be prepared so you can be you can respond in grace. There will be times to make decisions and it's bound to happen and and and you you're going to have to make the the right choices and and it's going to be spoton or or spontaneous where you have to make a quick decision. I want you to have these scenarios and think through some other scenarios yourself to get you ready for a situation

that might happen. You need to be prepared as a leader, as a pastor, as as someone who's uh responsible there. There's going to be, you know, accusations and problems and conflicts that that show up. And it's good to be ready that you you've already played out some of these scenarios. you you watched how Jesus dealt with some of the conflicts that he dealt with and how Paul and Peter and and the apostles and how even you know from Abraham to to Moses to to Aaron to Joshua to you know all these these leaders D King

David how did they does um deal with all these different scenarios conflicts and so we can learn from them and then when things arrive we'll be equipped to deal with them. And so that's what I I'm I want you to be prepared for. And yes, you're you're probably going to make mistakes. And if you do, you need to own it. Own it and apologize and learn from it yourself not to do that again. So here's here's a here's three scenarios I want us to go through. And and what I want you to do is I'm

going to read the scenario and then I want you to pause it and I want to I want you to reenact it in your mind. What what's what's happening? Why this happened? What was um I'll get to to some answers, but um here's the first scenario. And I want you to like I said, pause the the video and think through what is going on, why why did this happen? All right. The first scenario is a volunteers's burnout. That's going to happen. You're going to have people that burn out who are volunteers. And so here, a

key volunteer is frustrated and disengaged. Think about why this has happened to this volunteer. Why are they burnt out? Why are they frustrated and disengaged? Go ahead and push pause. Scenario number two. Welcome back. I I hope you were able to really think through what what caused this person to be frustrated and and disengaged as a volunteer. Number number two scenario, staff tension. This happens. A staff member disagrees with the ministry decision. Go ahead and push pause and and think through what would you be doing? What would you be saying in this situation where a

staff member disagrees with the ministry decision? Go ahead and pause it. Three. All right, welcome back. Church member. This is the third scenario. Church member complaint. a church member feels unheard or overlooked. Go ahead and push pause and and think through that scenario. What caused what what led to this church member to feel unheard or overlooked? All right, welcome back. They may seem unimportant, but as as a pastor and leaders, we must see not the situation, but the person. People are important. if if this has bothered bothered them to the point of where they they've

uh let everybody know about it, they're they're uh complaining and and or they're disengaged and and you notice it, you're noticing the person first. And that's what they need to know is that you care about them. It it it sometimes seems silly, but you need to pay attention to them. Here's what we should be looking for in these scenarios. What words escalated the tension? What words reduced defensiveness? How did tone affect trust? The situations are controlled through communication. Remember your tone and communication controls the atmosphere. The way you communicate can prevent things from escalating. The

goal is to prevent problems that will demand your attention which takes away from your mission. So, how do you feel when a leader learns you are having trouble and they they respond like this? I don't have time for this right now. That stings. We get it from our parents. We might be that parent that doesn't want to deal with our kids situation. I don't have time for this. What you're saying is it's all about me, not you. And so, think about how that hurts you when you have somebody that says, "I don't have time for

this." You're going to need to make time. and and realize that it's important not the the the the thing you're trying to accomplish, but the people are are that's that's what we're called to is people to respond to their situations. It's it's all about them. There's a a famous uh musician author and he he wrote a book and he put his personal cell phone number in it and I was watching a podcast about this guy and the interviewer was asking, "Hey, I I read your book and I actually called you and that's how I got

you on this podcast. How how many other people call you uh that have your number?" He says, "I get about 50 phone calls a day." And he was like, "What? You you answer the phones?" He's all, "Yeah, I take just a few minutes." He's all, "I found that Jesus had a ton of interruptions." And so, why should I be not like Jesus and have interruptions in my life? And so, he took phone calls and he would say he'd said that he'd try to make them really short, like maybe a minute at at most. and he

would just, you know, hey, thanks for calling. I appreciate you read the book and uh yes, uh any questions? Yeah. Okay. He talked for a little bit. He enjoyed that. One thing he found out was that people read his book. And so that was a a a good uh kind of way of determining how well his book sales were doing was how many phone calls he got. He said not everybody would call him, of course. Uh but he took time to listen to people and he said because Jesus he listened to people he took time

for them. Remember Jesus was on his way to die on the cross for our sins. And here's Zakius looking in in in a tree to see Jesus walk by. He took time to to to call Zakius down and said, "Zakius, I'm going to your house today." He was on his way to to to Jerusalem to die on the cross for our sins, but he took time for this guy Zach who needed his his forgiveness. And so we need to make time for those even though um it it it seems a burden, but really it's not.

People need you. If they're asking for your your your attention or for you to help them, that shows that you are someone they trust and they value your your your words, your your solutions, your time. So, take time for the people that you serve. Some takeaways as as a leader with communication is that words create culture. Grace amplifies truth. Influence outlasts authority. Listening is leadership. Let me say that one more time. It's not always talking. I I know this this this this class right now is all about communication, but communication is also listening. So listening

is leadership. Jesus leads through love and truth. So again, words create culture, grace amplifies truth, influence outlasts authority, listening is leadership. Remember, Jesus leads through love and truth, and so should we, right? So as as I'm finishing on this part, I'm going to go into preaching next. Uh just some reflection questions. What communication habit do you need to to to unlearn? Not learn but unlearn. What communication habits do you you need to unlearn? The next one is uh ask yourself where has my tone undermined my influence? And then the third question I want you to

reflect on is who do I need to listen to more carefully? paying attention to that person is is vital. I need to to, you know, take my time and I need to to repeat what they just said to me. Maybe that'll help me not be misunderstood or or get that person frustrated thinking that I'm not listening. Um, one big key thing for me, my wife has made it uh clear that she's like, "When I'm talking, can you like stop answering the phone or looking down at the phone while we're talking?" So, I eye to eye

conversation, leaning in, focused, present, letting that person feel so important. The most important person in the whole world is right in front of you. So, so let's let's think of some communication things that we need to get better at. Now, I want to talk about pastoral uh communication on on communicating as a preacher. Uh there's the three the big three of impactful preaching that I've I've learned. The first one is is structure. The second one is delivery. The third one is connection. Think of a sermon not as a lecture, but as a journey where you

are are are the guide. If you don't know where you're going, the passengers, they're going to get seasick. They're they're going to have some motion sickness. Um, one of the biggest problems that I've done and many pastors do is this thing called chasing the rabbit. meaning all of a sudden a rabbit just appears and and you just go after it and and that's what happens where you're you're you're preaching on uh let's say uh the Ten Commandments and you're going this way, then all of a sudden you detour and you start talking about this and

that about the current news and then you have to like get back to to the to the conversation. Um that's frustrating as a as a pastor when that happens to you. Imagine the crowd. They're like, "Wait, I was taking notes. We're going this way." And then all of a sudden the wheel got jerked and we're going this way now. Like, "Oh, wait. Now we're It need to see that your your sermon is not a lecture. You're guiding people on a journey to the truth and to some principles and the things that they need to apply.

So, the first part that we need to do well is we got to have a blueprint of your sermon. A great sermon isn't a collection of points. It's the development of the one single idea. I'm going to break this down. The big idea is, can you summarize your message in one statement, in one sentence? Can you summarize it? Can you give it a title? Can can can you clarify? This is what I want to be preaching on. This is the topic. If you can't, your audience won't be able to either. The me, we, God, you,

we map. Let me repeat that. Me, we, God, you, we map. This is a classic narrative or it's number one. Mei is start with a personal tension or a story. The Wii is let's broaden it. Why does this matter to everyone in the room? Three is God. What does the text wisdom say about this tension? And then back to you. What should the listener do this week? The so what. So what are we going to do? And the fifth one, paint a picture of what the world looks like if we all do this. You want

to share solutions. You want to you want to bring it back to the to to to to the the purpose of the text of what the reader is supposed to get from it. Not just going to church just to check off, you know, I went to church. There's got to be some application. The second phase is the delivery. How you say it is often as important as you say it. The power of the pause. Gotcha. The power of the pause. The silence is your most underutilized tool. After a heavy point, wait 3 seconds and let

it sink in. Let the audience absorb it. Let them process it before you rattle off finishing trying to get done. That pause is very powerful. The the your your cadence the very how you say it. The cadence is if you speak at the same volume and speed for 20 minutes you become white noise. Sometimes you have to elevate it to make sure everybody's paying attention. And then sometimes the most powerful is when you speak soft. People have to lean in. And they got to pay attention more as they're trying to listen to the sermon. High

energies. High energy for stories and celebrations. Bring that energy. Show that excitement about Man, I was I was at my my son's game and he hit it. He hit his first uh his first hit of the game ever in his life. And we were cheering for him. He finally hit. Woo. You're sharing that story. Not Yeah. He was, it was his first hit of the baseball game and we cheered for him. There's no emotions. There's no excitement. So, bring the the energy to your stories and and and to some points that you're really excited about.

Show the audience this is something to be excited about. Low, like I said, low or slow whispers for intimate or challenging truths. You you find those places where it just it means so much more. When you say it softer and and you say it almost like a whisper, it it it draws people's conclusion that this is an intimate moment. This is something that that means a lot. There's emotions to it. Then as well, something that we need to do is eye contact. Find the zones in in in the room. Don't just scan the room. Pick

one person in in the left and and center into the right section. Speak a full sentence to them, then move. It creates a one-on-one feeling in the crowd. It's terrible when you have preachers or or people speaking and all they're doing is looking at their notes the whole time. I I have my notes right here on my my iPad as I'm doing these lessons and and I'm not going to just sit here and go through it. Hope you guys get something from this. Monotone, monotone, no eye contact. And that is not a good communication uh

skill. You you got to look around. So it's it's good to read your notes, read your notes, memorize scripture. And when you have those memorized scriptures, you can look at the crowd and you can speak to them about what you're preaching on. And then you can look to the other and then you can look to the other. You might even need to look back because there's people on the stage sometimes at places that have preached. Look look to the very back. Kind of adjust your eyes where you're you're you're seeing the person in the back

row. You're looking at the person in the front row. you you you're you're communicating and and you're showing that everybody in the audience is important, not just a few people that you know and you talk to after you get off the stage, after you're done preaching. Preach to the whole audience. Let them know that I'm preaching to YouTube. And that gets them to pay attention. It gets them off their their scrolling of phones or falling asleep. There was u I'll just pause right here and share a personal story of me preaching. So I I had

a lot of um men who were uh coming off the streets of addiction and and homelessness and they were they were coming to my church and I had a lot of them that would stay with me. Uh we had residential uh living for some of those people that just didn't have anywhere else to go. or their family uh didn't want them back, didn't trust them or they [clears throat] were old and their family passed away and they had nobody else and they were alone. So we we set up places for them to live and and

so I had this one brother, he just came uh to to our church from going to the set free ranch where people uh meet Jesus. They get their lives right with him, get cleaned up, sober, and now they're ready to move on into uh society and to community. And so the the soft entry point would be through one of our set free churches that we have. We have over 50 set free all over. And so um set free always have a residential uh place for men and sometimes women's. Not every one of us us uh

have women's homes, but I had both at the time, but I had the men's home. And and so the this this man enters in and it's his first service with me preaching. And as I'm preaching, he starts to snore. And so I I say, "Hey, hey, hey." You know, I I'm I'm not shy about it. So I I said, "Hey, um, wake up." So he wakes up and he falls asleep again. I'm like, "Hey, come on. Come on." And he does it three times. This time I'm a little frustrated cuz every it's disrupting the message,

the flow of it. U, it's getting everybody to to look over to him and not listen because he's snoring really loud. This guy was loud. He was a big guy. And so I ask him, "Stand up." So he stands up against the wall and he falls asleep again. And so I power through it and we get done. And so I I come to meet meet him and it's my first time meeting. He just came. And so I I I sit down with them. I said, "Hey, you know, um what's going on? Did you not sleep

good last night when you arrived? You got here last yesterday in time to get enough sleep, I thought. What's going on?" And he said, 'I'm sorry, pastor, but I'm narcoleptic. I fall asleep with with I can't drive. I can't even work. That's what caused me to be homeless. And you know, I started doing drugs. And that kind of kept me awake, but I I just fall asleep like it's it's a it's a it's a disease. It's a it's a medical situation I have. I said, "Oh my goodness, I'm glad you told me." Because honestly, I

was offended because nobody really sleeps when I preach. I'm very vocal and and and I I try to command the attention of of of the room and you were the first guy that I've had fall asleep on me. So, I was surprised. And so, it was good for me to find out that he wasn't being rude or he didn't care or he didn't get a good night's sleep. He just had a disease where he was narcoleptic and he would fall asleep. What a what a crazy disease to have. it it caused him where he can't

drive, he can't work. It it was just a a painful thing for him. And so we prayed for him and and uh we got a doctor to work with him and he's doing um great. This is like this is like 23 years ago. Um man um so sometimes you have to command the room by getting people to pay attention, wake up. Uh in that situation it was extreme. Um just saying the the third one is connection. Information informs but vulnerability transforms. Let me let me let me break this down. Show don't just tell. Instead of

saying life was hard, describe the cold coffee on the desk and the bills piled by the door. Use sensory details. Another thing is uh a principle is the kitchen table test. If you will if you wouldn't say a phrase to a friend over coffee, don't say it behind a behind a pulpit. Avoid religiously or overly academic jargon unless you define it immediately. I've seen pastors that just drop all kinds of Hebrew and Greek all the time. And sometimes they do it to impress people. They they want to impress the audience. They want to show that

they're learned, that they they studied, that they they went to seminary and they learned Greek and Hebrew and they they So they they say all these words that they're they're powerful. Yes. learn those words, but they don't immediately break it down. They just rattle it off and don't explain what that word means in English or in the vocabulary of the the the listeners. So, as as you're preaching, it's it's all about how would you say it with with somebody at the having coffee with each other. I I shared about my friend Pastor Vince. He's a

loud. He goes out of y'all. He goes preaching like that. And I told him one time as we're having lunch, I said, "Man, I am so thankful that you don't talk like this while we're having lunch as the way you preach." And we started laughing. Um, there is something that happens to a preacher as as the as the pastor goes up to preach. They talk this way with each other one-on-one, but when you're an audience, there's something that you feel like you have to to reach everybody. And so sometimes you're a little louder, more vocal

because you're trying to get the whole room to hear and you're trying to command uh their attention by by how you talk. So of course there there there's a balance in that. The other one is as as you have preached the word, as you've as you've challenged them, as you've brought scenarios and you you've described things and you you you you did the zone check and you started to to really uh get people to to grab hold of of the scene by these sensory descriptions that you're giving. The biggest thing is the call to action.

Never end without a clear next step. It should be specific, attainable, and immediate. Something like tonight, write down one person you need to forgive. If you just preached on forgiveness, here's a pro tip. I don't like doing this, but uh I I've been challenged to do this to get better. Record yourself. It's painful to watch, but you'll catch your ums and your a's and and repetitive gestures like I'm doing uh right now. You're you're going to learn by watching yourself how to get better. Man, next time I I need to do this. Next time I

need to explain better, next time I got to look at the audience. So recording yourself then watching it is good. as a as a as a pastor, um my wife, she's she's sometimes truthful with me. She's pretty blunt sometimes and says, "Honey, I don't know where you're trying to go with that message because you went you preached like five different messages and I it was here and there. I needed that critique. I needed her to to share. I want to get better. And so have some people and ask them, "How did I do? Can you

help me to get better? Was was the storytelling good? Was did the scriptures line up with the the the the challenge that I gave at the end?" You want to get better at communicating. Well, get other people involved in you. The other thing is watch other communicators. Watch other pastors. Watch other people that aren't just pastors. One of the the the most incredible uh things that blows me away are comedians. How they can be on stage telling joke after joke and not laughing themselves. I see it on in actors when watching a comedy and they're

they're doing these comedies um interactions with each other and they're not laughing, they're serious. That's an art form and communication as as a comedian uh doing a standup show is incredible that they can they they bring out truths a lot. A lot of comedy is truth and we have to laugh at it. It it feels good to realize that you're not the only one making mistakes and and stumbling. And so, uh, pay attention to how how they they, uh, are able to communicate. Musicians are another one. They're not just singing, but they're engaged with the

the audience. They're looking at the audience. They're walking the stage and letting the fans know that, hey, I see you there. I see you there. and and and in between the songs, they're they're communicating stories of how this song came about or what's going on in their life. They're bringing people into that personal life of them. A lot of pastors that have become very great uh pastors of preaching, one common thing that I see a theme that they do is they they bring people into their lives by sharing about how they failed or how they

succeeded or what they're going through, what they're struggling with. They make themselves vulnerable by doing that. But it also is humbling and letting the audience know, look, I'm I'm a pastor. I'm preaching, but I'm human. I'm not better than you. I have my own struggles just like you. And so they will share how they made mistakes. Man, I was yelling at my wife. I was yelling at my kids. The pastor yells. The pastor gets angry and and and makes bad decisions, too. And then they bring up how they repent and ask for forgiveness. And the

reason why is because Jesus said so. Jesus wants us not to rule our kids with with with with a iron fist, but to love them, to care for them, to be gentle with them. And so they they they share their vulnerable, they share their personal story, and then bring it into the message. Now, warning. I've heard pastors speak about a scenario that happened at their house with their kid, and then I hear another pastor say the same thing, and another pastor say the same thing, full details and everything, and realize they were borrowing somebody's story

and trying to make it personal when the audience pretty much knew that that wasn't true. and that will destroy your trust with the audience. If you're sharing a story that somebody else has already preached, own your own stories. You have enough stories of your life. I'm sure I was telling stories about myself when I was preaching at age 22. And so, uh, bring yourself into the scenarios sometimes is very helpful when you're communicating. The other thing is uh I I want to I want to ask you guys to pray before anything when it comes to

preparing a sermon. Pray through the scriptures. Pray for God to give you wisdom to to pin down the the the the sermon notes that you're going to preach on. And then as you're you're you're you're communicating the word of God, uh show the gentle heart of Jesus as you're sharing this. I I know sometimes emotions um kind of get, you know, distorted, but emotions are going to be there when you're preaching. My uncle, my uncle Gayen Greenwald, man, he is a great preacher. And every time I've seen him preach, he doesn't do it every week,

but it seems like when I go, he's crying somewhere in his message because he's so compassion. He has such compassion and and emotions towards the the the the um the scripture of what he's reading because he knows that God is so loving and so caring. Again, Christlike influence is leadership. And so that means that we must be like Christ, not just on the stage when we're preaching, not just in the pulpit, but when we go away. people. I' I've told people, man, my greatest sermon I hope is my marriage that I have I'm able to

lead so many people to Jesus by the love I have for my wife. As Paul says that as a husband, you're to be like Christ that loves your wife, which is like the church. And so this this uh scenario, this this role play that that Paul describes is is how we are with Jesus. And so people I hope will respond to, man, why why is your love for your wife so incredible? Jesus, Jesus transformed my heart and he's he's given me a heart to love my wife as Christ loved the church. And you know what

what kind of love that was for the church? Jesus laid down his life to die on the cross for our sins. That's how much he loves the church that he sac he was sacrificed, took the penalty of our sins upon himself. And so I'm going to love my wife. I'm going to cover her with forgiveness, with love. I'm going to protect her. And hopefully the listener or the people watching my marriage will say, "Man, if it's Jesus that has caused them to have this romance, this love, this beauty, man, I need Jesus. I see Jesus

as good, and I see it through their marriage." I hope this has helped you guys. There's a a lot of good communication books, but again, let's let's really lock in and understand that communication is is vital as a pastor, as a leader. Get better at it. Develop strategies. There's there I gave you some through this lesson, but there's a lot more. So, you can go online and you can watch videos on communication. You can you can uh again listen and and watch other pastors and how they're able to to to to deliver the sermons and

and you can get all those things. But I'll leave you with this. As I was a young pastor, my dad, he's he's, you know, helped lots of pastors. He pastored for years. And and so I was just starting the church in in Pomona. It was the third church I started. And so, um, I I was very excited for him to come because the church was growing and and I was preaching every day. And so, one one time he came to the church and, uh, he heard he came to to the service and, you know, he

was in the whole service and after we get done, he says, "Hey, can I take you to lunch?" I said, "Yeah, let me go get my wife and kids." He said, "No, just just you and I, man. It's been a while." Said, "All right." I knew something was bothering him. And so, um, we go to lunch and we're talking. I said, "Dad, what's what's going on?" He's like, "Son, um, I came to church to hear you preach, but I didn't hear you preach." I said, "You were here all I didn't see you get up or,

you know, use the restroom or leave." He's all, "Son, this is what I'm trying to tell you. I came to hear you preach, but I heard Pastor Willie that's been your pastor. I heard a little bit of him. I heard a little bit of of of Pastor Phil and Pastor Bill that are in your life. I heard little substances of them that that that you were taking on their styles. He's all, but I remember coming to hear you preach and you were just relaxed and and and you were funny and you you you you weren't

trying to speak high, you know, vocabulary and and you're there. In those days, I was learning Greek and Hebrew. So, I was rattling off some of that. And so, uh, he's all, "It sounded like you were trying to impress, I think, me." I said, "Dad, I was I was trying to impress you." He's all, "I'm impressed just by you, not these other pastors. So, just be you." That was freeing. So, as you're listening and you're learning from other pastors and you have a pastor in your life that has taught you, that doesn't mean that you

have to be like them. Here's the freedom. Be you as you preach. God bless you guys. Let me pray. Heavenly Father, I pray that you help us to communicate your gospel with clarity, followed and and and accompanied and and filled with grace for the listener to know that you love them. Thank you for the honor of of being able to communicate and to share your your good news. We know, God, that it says that faith comes by hearing. And so God, you also have challenged if if nobody goes, then how could they hear? So God,

I pray that each and every one of us will say, "Well, send me Lord. I'll go and I'll proclaim. I'll communicate your gospel. I'm going to need your help. And I know you will be with us as we go." So thank you for your Holy Spirit and your power as we communicate and as we lead people in your truth. In Jesus name I pray. Amen. See you guys next week.