Tip# 17 We promised to talk to those who are single as well, but the same topic also applies for those who are married. Letís pay close attention. When someone is single and time passes by, their desire is to get married.
But with who, where is the other person? Then someone appears and then another and sometimes affected by failed relationships among their family and friends, Seen many people suffer in bad relationships, they are afraid of making the same mistakes. It is a natural process of the human mind led by fear to find reasons that they will not find the right person that will make them happy.
And by doing this they eliminate good candidates for a future husband or wife. They compare them with the ideal husband they want. Iíve heard single women say, ìOh, but he has a bellyî and the single men say, ìOh I prefer a blonde or a brunette.
î They focus on details that will not make a difference in the relationship. And immediately dispatch them; do not give it a chance. And sometimes the blonde, the muscle man, or the attractive guy are the ones whom will make them unhappy.
We have noticed that many people because of fear lose the opportunity to get to know the other person. What do you have to do to find the right person? Without a doubt, there are people that in their first relationship (like a certain person by my side) find the right person and are happy, marry, settle down and their dreams come true.
Some people go through this. And we envy them in a good way. These types of people had to sacrifice and be different.
But anyway thatís another story. But, the rest of us mere human beings have to make mistakes until we find the right person who will be our future spouse. I wouldnít say the ideal person because this doesnít exist; you know that, weíve talked about this already.
But someone that besides his errors has many qualities can make you consider, ìI could live with his flaws, which will not affect the relationship. î So you say, ìThis is not exactly what I visualized but he/she has other important qualities that matter to me. î This also applies to those who are married.
There are things Iím never going to change, Iíve changed a lot, but there are things that Iím never going to change. For example, I love and Iím crazy for animals, any kind of animals, alligators, etc. , I like all kind of animals.
On the other hand, Renato doesnít like them. But Iím never going to stop liking animals just because Iím married to Renato and he doesnít like or enjoys animals like I do and doesnít take me to the zoo. He knows this is part of me, so he had to accept the idea of having a dog.
Tolerating the dog, the dogís hair, the birds, the chewed up slippers, waking up and find myself with the dogís poop and pee. I tolerate these things because if I have to do things that I donít like to have Cristiane, then ok. But these things do not disrupt our relationship.
Do not affect and does not impede us in having a good relationship. If I was to visualize how I would want Cristiane to be, she would not like animals, but she likes them so I have to just take a deep breath and let it go. Itís something I have to live with everyday.
This is how marriage works, learning to live together. I want to say the following to those who are single for a long time, you may say, ìOh, thereís no one thatís my type. î But when someone does come along you find flaws.
Itís like when someone goes to a store and tries on hundred pieces of clothing and in all, they find something wrong, and just leave without buying anything. So maybe this is the situation youíre in, always pointing out the flaws and end up by yourself. I know itís difficult to place ourselves in someone elseís shoes because we are not in your place and I donít want to simplify your problem.
I know that singles go through difficulties to find someone. But Iíll tell you something, if I were single and someone would appear, I would give it try. I would go on a date with this person and if I liked that person I would try a second or a third time until I know if this person was for me or not.
Itís a small price to pay. As long as the date is an encounter just to talk and not getting too involved, but rather to discover if this is what I want. Itís not getting involved physically or emotionally but rather getting to know each other.
I would do this. I canít say, ìThis person is not good for me,î if I donít get to know them. Another thing that I would change about Cristiane, if I could, is when she says that she doesnít like a certain food because of the appearance and I tell her, ìTry it first.
î Thanks a lot now everyone is going to know Iím a picky eater. I say, ìAt least try itî She says, and ìno no I donít like it. î ìHave you tried it before, how do you know youíre not going to like it, if you never tried it before.
î Thereís no explanation. Sometimes you miss out in experimenting delicious food because of the appearance. There is food that doesnít seem appetizing or enjoyable but when you eat it taste delicious.
So, Singles always have your feet on the ground. Iím not saying to give yourselves to someone, but do not reject and point out flaws right away without even given them the opportunity of getting to know them. And I say the same thing to those who are married, stop looking for flaws or what your husband or wife is lacking.
ìHe is not like this with me,î ìhe or she is not like so and so,î Stop doing that. This is the recipe to have a miserable, frustrated and unhappy marriage. This is another secret we want to share with you.
You should always look for qualities this person has and not the flaws. I can tell you Crsitianeís flaws but I do not focus on them, I focus on her qualities. And this is what you should do.
ìWhat are her qualities,î and she looks at me and asks ìWhat are his qualities, what does he have that is good? î This is when love starts to develop. You start developing a deep bond, a connection of your souls between you and your spouse, when you look at the good things instead of the bad.
And this is what mothers do with their children, if you can do this with your children, you can do it with your husband too. OK. We will be returning soon with another tip.
