My Wife Constantly Threatened To Divorce Me Over Everything, So I Finally Agreed And Left Her.

my wife constantly threatened to divorce me over everything so I finally agreed and left her I 32 male my wife 28 female keeps throwing divorce in my face over everything I just agreed and left I'm currently staying with my sister my wife and I have been together for 5 years married for four we had known each other for years prior we have one kid together who is four I'm the primary bread winner in the house as she is a stay-at-home mom it was her choice not to go back to work for the last year and

a half we have been having arguments about one to two times s a month to be clear I do help out with our daughter I clean cook and am involved with both of them the first time she said she wanted a divorce was when we got into an argument when my sister called and asked if she could stay with us for a bit as she was having relationship problems ironic I said she could my wife was not happy about that I pointed out that her friend stayed with us a couple of months prior for 5

weeks and didn't do anything around the house plus she was just there no discussion no nothing she was a stranger to me and my daughter my sister is lovely and has a great relationship with our daughter and I thought my wife was as well she ended up staying with us for a week helping out around the house cooking cleaning and watching our daughter when needed I thought we both forgave each other and moved on the fights are usually over something small 90% are not started by me I have suggested therapy and counseling but she always

said we never needed it well I had it last night she picked a fight saying I was spending too much time at work and that she feels abandoned and that I'm not a good father she ended her rant with I want a divorce I stood up and told her that the only reason I work so much is because she can't stop spending edit at the time of the argument I used our money typing it out it came out as my money on accident we agreed to split the money into bills future savings future daughter and

fun money money on things we don't need or use she refused to get a job or go to school to help her out I provided for the family and for my daughter I'm always at her important dates functions doctor appointments anything she needs she refused to get help through therapy or counseling I don't want this anymore I'll have my lawyers sent her the papers when she writes them up I got my daughter's things and left with her to my sisters it has been 2 days and she keeps calling and texting saying she's sorry she didn't

mean it she wants to go to counseling and therapy she needs me she misses me Etc I don't know what to do I love her she's a good mother but I can't do this anymore internet strangers please help yes I have a lawyer for my family and work I have known her since I was a teen let's see what kind of advice the community offers first up this is still only a snippet of your life you still know your wife and life better than we do make the best decision for your daughter that's all you

can do toxic parents are the effing worst especially when they can't get over their BS for their kids sake you got this King always put your daughter first next up I had the exact same situation after the 500th time of her saying we should get a divorce I finally agreed of course her version of the story later was that I left her but even that wasn't worth arguing over my best advice is that even after divorce you will need to work things out with her on things regarding your daughter so don't do anything mean or

spiteful during the process wait a while to see other people after you move out or she will assume you're cheating on her with any new person you can't make other people happy she needs to be reasonable for her own happiness don't be angry just say I love you and I want you to happy but it's clear I can't do that so you're right that we're better off getting a divorce and then don't waver on that decision the op responds there's been a lot going on since I first posted but I wanted to point out some

things that it seems were missed or overlooked I would do everything again if I had to including taking my daughter I have pushed her to go out find a job get a hobby meet new friends and do something anything I reached out to people to help out asked about seeing someone for help she would not listen or consider anything I presented she kept saying no or she was not the problem my daughter is my priority I don't fight with my wife in front of her or around her I grew up in a bad household I've

been in the position where my dad got angry at my mom my mom left and my dad took it out on me I don't ever want that for her I don't know what my wife was going to do that night you can't force someone to get help they have to want it actually want it if you force someone they will go through the motions just to make it look like they change changed I'm not blameless in this but I can't raise my daughter with her thinking this is okay Behavior or this is how relationships are

supposed to be like I decided when I was young that I would never be like my dad I think there's a lot of Truth here op you can't make other people happy and you certainly aren't responsible for their happiness and I think you can handle only so much of someone saying they don't want to be with you and really holding that over your head for so long that's not a game anyone wants to play and I understand not wanting to continue that cycle with your daughter the comments are right whatever decision you make make it

in the best interest of your daughter update hello all unfortunately this is not a sunshine and rainbows update okay so after I made my post I had a bunch to think about I decided that I had to make sure she knew how serious I was we sat down and I flat out told her that I couldn't do this anymore the fighting and the threatening of divorce had to stop she agreed and said she would not say it I told her that the next time it was thrown out it would be the last time we agreed

to go to coup's therapy it was eye- openening things were said feelings were brought up and outside professional views helped us understand each other better after a few sessions I thought we were doing better she started to apply herself more she looked and obtained a job made some friends and got a hobby this was until an argument started because we had plans in regards to our daughter that she overlooked and couldn't cancel the other plans she had made with some new coo workers at what I consider the end of the argument she said under her

breath I knew marrying you was a mistake I looked at her and the thing I remember most is how I did not recognize the woman standing there she looked different to my eyes I didn't know who the woman in front of me was I asked her to repeat herself she said I should have divorced you years ago I walked away and took my daughter to the plans alone just us two I ended up filing for legal separation under the terms we both signed was something along the lines of while separated we are still legally married

and will not get involved with anyone during this time period finances will be separated but bills will stay as currently split I would still pay for insurance through work other things that were in it were therapy sessions would continue both as individuals and couples I would move in with my sister and we had shared custody of our daughter 70% me 30% her one day when I had my daughter I needed my wife to take her I let her know a week before and she agreed the morning of at 7:30 I went to Dro her off

at the house and noticed an unfamiliar car in the driveway my first thought was she must have a friend girlfriend over I go ring the doorbell out of respect but still odd ringing your own doorbell and wait with my daughter when a shirtless man about 20 opens the door and asks who I am and what do I want I asked for my wife he calls her and she comes around the corner in a robe and her face goes from Curious to shocked horrified and sad needless to say in 3 months time when the legal separation

ends I'm filing for a decree of dissolution of marriage my daughter is safe she doesn't understand what's going on other than Dad daddy and mommy are not happy with each other as stated above she is my priority I guess I did do the one thing I never wanted to do the one thing I promised myself I would never become but I guess it couldn't be helped I ended up just like my parents I don't know what a healthy relationship looks like I hope I can just show how much love I have for my daughter and

raise her the best I can thanks for the support comments love and criticism let's see how the community reacts first up that's effing hard one day your daughter will know what her dad did to protector I hope you find peace in your life op another commenter says I'm so sorry op you really did the best you could with what you were given don't beat yourself up too hard ETA I can tell you from experience that having separated parents is better than having parents that are together but obviously unhappy next thought from what you wrote I

don't think you were like your dad you didn't do the same thing your parents did you prioritized your daughter and took her from a household that was no longer healthy for her I'd say that it's not a matter of knowing how a relationship should look like but the fact we cannot always Force how the people we love will change over time we also never get to know someone as thoroughly as we think only the bits they show us I think you've made the best choice in this situation the lp replies I feel like I never

knew her I only know the side of her that she showed me I just hope I'm doing right by my daughter thanks the comments are right you did the best you could with the cards you were handed op you can't be the only one working to keep a marriage together it takes takes two people and I think you're far from different from your parents you know your selfworth and you'd never put your child in a negative situation you're looking out for her Which is far more than your parents could ever say what do you think

could op have done anything differently Second Story next up op can't wake up from this nightmare pandemic locked me in the house with my cheating wife full story I've pondered a lot about the idea of me posting this story and based on the title I'm sure you realize this story is now closing in on 3 years old however I felt at this point that it is good to get this off my chest at the time my 30 Millions was happily married to my 30 Fahrenheits wife we had been married around 6 years I will refer

to her from here on as Sarah not her real name we traveled ate together and spent time together basically every night for the first 6 years of the marriage during 2019 I started to see some warning signs that in retrospect should have told me something was up in early 2019 I had to be out of town for a work conference the first time that I had ever been gone overnight from home without her she immediately suggested that her friend might come and visit and even stay over those days now for context this friend 29 Millions

I will refer to him as Mark is someone she texted all the time they were close friends and I know for a fact had been intimate with before we met I put my foot down and said no pointing out he never came over in 6 years except the one time I was gone while she got mad she respected my wishes too the best of my knowledge and the scenes from the security cameras there were other things as well that gave me pause but for the interest of time I will move on now we arrive at

the end of 2019 as we're in a movie theater together I noticed her writing messages to someone on her Apple watch during the movie this was very unusual for her to do and the messages although I can't remember them were a bit strong for a co worker at a new job but nothing overly sexual or romantic I asked her about it after the movie and she brushes it off her behavior changes sitting away from me on the couch changing in a room and so on I start to wonder am I being cheated on or what

is being hidden from me I feel tremendous guilt for even thinking about checking her phone for confirmation feeling that if I do and I am wrong there's no point in continuing to be married after thinking about it for days I decide to check in January 2020 now her phone is always close by and I don't know the passcode luckily her watch is accessible and she made the code our anniversary irony abound what I discover next is horrifying Sarah and Mark discussing her hookups with a co worker them mocking me for not noticing what is going

on Sarah discussing how the idea of me touching her is revolting and how she can't imagine having kids with me we had been trying in mid 2019 so this especially hurt then I read the messages between Sarah and the co worker we will call Carl those messages are explicit and Sarah shows more affection for him in every way than she shows me now each message tells me a new revelation that hurts more that a trip she had was to console a friend was really so that the friend could meet Carl that she began changing in

the bathroom so I wouldn't see the hickeys on her body that her therapist knows all of this and says I should be made aware but that she should be happy with whoever I stay up till 3: or 4:00 a.m. reading these messages and taking pictures of everything I don't sleep that night my jaw clenched so hard all night it caused issues for months she leaves for work I'm off that day and my first phone call is to a lawyer what are my options when I confront her what can I say and not say legally I

wait for her to come home reading over the messages to confirm it wasn't the worst dream I ever had when I confront her I tell her what I know without revealing I had been in her texts I tell her I spotted the hickey a lie but she mentioned it in the messages and that I know she's texting someone Sarah lies tries to argue that it's someone else that gave her the hickey but finally I read a message from her watch I guess what I expected was for her to break down and admit everything instead Sarah

explodes in Rage that I violated her privacy the insanity and gaslighting of trying to convince me that I was the bad guy here blew me away she stormed out of the house and disappeared for 3 days no communication as to where she was even though I asked her to tell me where she was staying so I knew she'd be safe to this day I only know a small part about where she went or what she did when she comes back she tells me she wants to try to fix things and spend some time together it

doesn't go well I catch her sneaking off to meet with him once again as she foolishly leaves the watch behind and I can read the messages in real time I finally tell her in February 2020 that I contacted a lawyer she insists she won't sign anything until we attend coupl counseling I humor it but it goes off the rails immediately when after I explain we're here because she had an affair she argues my word choice Affair was too strong a word she also lies about the fact that she cheated on me before Carl with a

married man something I discovered at a later date going through her watch once again she admits her plan was to find an apartment then hand me papers without me ever knowing what was going on she even tries to blame the whole affair on me using in a therapist's view minor disagreements as proof of my cold and uncaring demeanor one example I don't immediately scream at my parents for a Christmas gift she didn't like or at her parents when they playfully made fun of her at this point the decision is made I need to divorce her

as she will never tell the truth we agree Sarah will move out of our house and I even help her find an apartment anything to get her out of the house faster one day in March 2020 I watched the news of covid come in and all construction work stops her apartment was almost ready but was being renovated now there's nowhere for her to go I'm stuck in the house with her from March to June of 2020 for those wondering she has enough legal knowledge to know that leaving would make her case harder and might still

have to pay expenses those three or so months were hell trying to do my job and live in a house with a person who had wronged me and ridiculed me was unbearable at times we tried as best we could to keep it civil and not scream at each other every time we pass past each other imagine spending 90 plus days cooking meals passing by and seeing no one else in the world but the person who ended your marriage and broke your heart every day featured me essentially locking myself in a room for 8 hours then

doing yard work or working out to avoid speaking with her she moved out for the most part in late June once the world started to open up a bit and had all of her items out by July knowing that I wanted the house she definitely manipulated the situation to her advantage to avoid her being publicly shamed her family to this day doesn't know what caused the divorce she didn't tell them the divorce was happening at all until after the papers were signed and essentially forced me to pretend we were still together until then at which

point I told her to tell her parents or I would they never asked me what was the cause although one or two did wish me well I never felt the need to tell them as despite the pain of gaslighting she caused I didn't feel the need to hurt them her parents never wronged me Carl and Sarah didn't last when I found out Carl told her to leave me and be with him but she tried to mend our relationship and he walked away from her so she ended up with no one Sarah and I rarely speak

now unless it's absolutely necessary which is rare I wondered at times if maybe I was wrong for not publicly outing her infidelity the people who are important to me know the truth I also never confronted or spoke to for that matter Carl Mark or her friend who knew about all of this but never warned me as for me I found someone who is truly a good person and have a great relationship I've never told Sarah as it's none of her business much like telling her family about her cheating I thought about telling Sarah how well

I'm doing but I think that is just shod and Freud thanks for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts ask for some thoughts the community has them first up I applaud you for the way you handled it I on the other hand am an a-hole I would have told everyone why we divorced every detail about what she did I did that with my first wife glad you are finally truly happy as for Sarah I hope she has a miserable existence for the rest of her life sorry not sorry next comment says dude you got

out and moved on with someone else getting in contact with your ex-wife to rub it in her face will give a few minutes of happiness but staying no contact and blocking her will give a lifetime of happiness she knows that you're happy and she regrets her actions but she will never tell you that she won't admit that she was wrong and you don't need that admission leave her alone Karma will get her P.S congratulations on your new relationship hope it's a nice lady and if she's not you know the drill and you can see the

red flags good luck wow I can't believe she tried to turn it around on you for discovering the hickeys and the messages on her watch she was just upset at herself for getting caught and was projecting that onto you I'm actually shocked you tried to make it work after all that you sound like a very patient man but you might have wasted your time there especially pretending the marriage still existed just to please her you didn't have to do that but I guess that gave you some good karma anyways I'm glad you found someone else

wishing you much happiness what do you think would you have left earlier would you have played along and pretended you were still married let us know in the comments below outro thank you for joining us on our space be sure to like And subscribe and hit that notification Bell so you don't miss out on our next video see you next time