Podcast Three Brothers is here. Speaking to you again is Rodrigo Tchorró. Next to me is my brother, Roberto Andrade, son of Borracha, and at the mixing desk is our director, Pedro Henrique. Hey Robertinho? Good evening. Good evening. Hey brothers. How's it going? Hey brother. Great. Wow, you have to highlight your elegance today, man. Wow, the guest deserves it, right? I think that to keep up with people of high intellect, knowledge, people who are truly elegant, right? I have to do justice to that, right? It couldn't be any other way. Third time in our house, right?
Second time on our own, very happy. That's right. People really liked that first episode. I have a friend today, she thanked me at least eight times. She's a big fan of André. She's like, "Do you remember when I told you about André? Do you remember when I told you about André? Do you remember?" Wow, it's great. She's a big fan. Her name is Bruna Bergman. Ah, I know Bruna very well. She's a psychologist. A sweetheart. A huge fan. A really, really big fan. She's such a good person. Whenever she sees me, whenever she meets me,
ever since we started getting closer here, she can't see me without mentioning me. I told you about Andreia, do you remember how I used to call her? Well, Andreia Vermou is here at our house. Uh, good evening. Thank you for the opportunity. It's a pleasure to be with you. Our house, right, guys? Good afternoon, which I already consider mine too, I love being here with the guys, my best podcast appearances generally come from here because they give us the freedom to talk and be controversial, and that's what we're here for. How did people react to
you, right? People loved your participation, everyone saying how necessary everything is. I even sent you a clip today. Rubão sent me a clip of Andreia, look. This should be Paulo Cogos' mother. If it were this mother, Cogos wouldn't be like this. Our good future president. People really like those who speak the truth without fear, right? We 're in a very subjective moment, nobody has a formula for anything, nobody is certain about anything, everyone is walking on eggshells. So, when someone comes along with a position that 's more... well, it's impossible not to, right? You need
to have a more directive position, an identity, right? That has essence, right? And people end up liking it, and thank God people have accepted the work very well all over Brazil, a lot of clips are going viral, like that clip where he talked about Cocos' mother, I get about 20 of those clips every day. No, that clip is a joke. It's because it's difficult to say something like that, in that way, right? Like, look, it has to traumatize you. It has to traumatize you so you can grow, grow well, grow right. And the people's participation
is so funny. So, on Sunday I went to see something there, someone came into the room, the people, then her son, I don't know what, then a friend of my son's came in, I'm his friend, I'm here to say, he's a super successful man, he's engaged, he wrote a long text. I found it very funny. I said: "Wow, people are so passionate, aren't they?" But the day I invited you to come back here, I was watching the teen series, right? And then it's been on my mind, I want to talk about this subject and Today
we're going to talk about that too. But yesterday I was talking about something interesting. I wanted to know your opinion on this, right? Because I've noticed that people achieve many things that the world provides. People can travel, people can have a car, people can have a relationship, they can have a... And even so, suddenly, they stop and say: "I'm sad, I'm not happy, I'm feeling bad, they start crying." For no reason, they can't explain the reason for this sadness. What's happening to people, huh? Actually, Rodrigão, in life we need a reason to live and a
reason to die. You need a reason to exist. The moment I have everything at my disposal, I cease to have a reason to exist, I'll fight. There was a very interesting experiment that happened at Harvard 6 years ago . They took rats and put them in a cage and provided them with the maximum All possible needs were met. Air conditioning during the day, warm air at night, the cage was padded, the food was the best, on time, all the Rats' needs were met with zero stress. They didn't have to fight for anything at all. Two
weeks later, some rats became depressed, some rats started killing each other and practicing cannibalism. Some rats lost their social function, no longer knowing who was male, who was female, and so on. What is the conclusion of this research? That if we have all our needs met and don't have a purpose, a quest, a reason to fight for, we lose the reason for existence. Existence only has meaning when I have something I need to pursue, when I need, when I visualize a goal and I want to get somewhere. So, for example, you want to see your
children successful, you want, I don't know, to see your marriage in a few years. We also saw this a lot in the creation of logotherapy. Viñor Frankel, a great psychiatrist who was imprisoned in Auschwitz. Viñor Frankel was already studying the question of meaning. Human beings need a purpose to exist. When he went to Auschwitz, he continued his research, and what did he discover? People who had a reason, A purpose, and a quest, even had stronger immune systems. So he would ask these people: "Why do you want to exist after Auschwitz? Oh, I want to see
my fiancée again. Oh, I want to graduate in medicine. Oh, I want to see my parents again." These people fought harder against the horrors of Nazism. People who had no reason to leave the concentration camp surrendered more quickly to death in the concentration camp. Then comes Vior Franco, he leaves the camp campus and creates logotherapy, which is therapy based on meaning. Whoever doesn't have a reason to exist becomes depressed. Then Vior Franco says: "Human beings can endure anything except the absence of meaning." And how do I put meaning in my life? It 's without meaning,
and I need to start searching, for example, every morning, what makes you get out of bed? Why do you get up? To stop. Why? To drink, to support the people I love, to support myself. There you go. To support the people I love, to support myself. You already have a meaning. If you were a billionaire, if you didn't have to... To work to support the people you love, You'd have to invent another purpose. I saw this about J Carrie, I saw it this week. This isn't new, but I saw it this week. He must have
spoken again. J Carrie, he was a poor boy, he worked in conventional places, like at a supermarket counter, packing things, but very young he started to stand out. He had a remarkable talent, became famous worldwide and was one of the greatest artists in the world, right? And he became a millionaire, right? And when he was still young, he wrote himself a check for 10 million dollars and kept it in his wallet, which was his goal. He said: "In 5 years I have to be able to cash this check for 10 million dollars," which was his
goal. And he quickly succeeded, after he got into it and everything else, he achieved that. He became one of the greatest actors, right, in the world. That's it. And he became depressed soon after that and had no motivation in life. And money, success, fame were useless, because everything that people theoretically seek as an intimate personal goal, he achieved, and it didn't help at all. And he says that this journey Of his was very important because today he has another meaning, if I'm not mistaken, a spiritual one; he had to create another meaning. He found another
meaning. Logotherapy will help you in this sense. It will make you, in fact, in this sense, in this reason, right? It will help you discover the meaning of your existence. Because human beings can endure anything except the absence of meaning. This search has to be something possible, because what am I imagining here now? Meaning , we have to have a search for something, right? To want something. I can create something very, very complex that I know I won't achieve. And that will give me meaning for my whole life. It would be as if I were
bypassing the system to see better forever, as long as... Okay. It doesn't necessarily have to be material, right? Yes. That's what I think you imagine, my senses have changed throughout my life. Uh-huh. For example, when I was 5 years old, I was the height of this table. I remember that scene exactly as if it were today. I really wanted to study. My siblings are all older than me. My mother, when she got pregnant with me, Had already had her tubes tied. So, my mother got pregnant with me 12 years after my last sibling. So, I
was born, my siblings were already grown, and then my mother took all six of them to school, and the house was empty. So I cried because I wanted to go to school, because I wanted to go to school. And one day, after hearing the principal so much, the principal heard me crying, she said: "Mrs. Maria, do the following, back then there weren't many rules, right? I was 5 years old. Tomorrow bring André, we're going to do a test. If she passes the test, enroll her early so she doesn't stay home crying alone." I took the
test, passed with flying colors, and she said, "No, you can bring her to school on Monday." Then my mother told me, "Look, my daughter, it's Sunday, Mommy is going to pack your things and tomorrow you'll go to school with your siblings." She left me at the neighbor's house playing while she went to pack her things. And then when she picked me up from the neighbor's, she said, "We're going to get home today." There were seven of us children, six, seven children plus my mother, eight. My father, a military policeman, was always traveling, he wasn't home.
So there were eight of us. My mother said, "We're going to get home today, my daughter. Your things will be on the table, and the bread for our afternoon snack will be on the table." Every day she baked bread. She bought bread for all seven children. And I remember the image clearly because I was the same height as that table, so my vision reached the tabletop. I arrived home, she opened the door, and I saw a pile of recycled notebooks. She took all my siblings' notebooks, tore out the used pages because she didn't have money
to buy new ones. She took a small bag full of old pencils of all sizes, sharpened them—there were old pencils, old erasers, old notebooks. Then she arrived, I looked on the table, and she said, "This is what Mommy managed to buy for you." "I know you'll achieve a lot, but this is what Mom can manage." And then I looked at the loaves of bread; there were only four loaves, not eight that day. She said, "Mom didn't have enough money to buy bread for everyone today, but I'm not getting emotional just saying it, but that doesn't
mean we'll go hungry." "Mom will break the four loaves of bread and everyone will eat." That day, at age 5, I made a promise. I looked at that table and said, "I will live so that my children will never lack bread and education." That was my first promise at age 5. I lived frantically so that the day I had children, they could study and that there would never be a lack of food in my house, that they would never go hungry. Thank God, that was my first promise, and thank God I fulfilled it. So, I
always told my children, I won't leave you a house, I won't leave you land, everything I earn, I will spend it all, but whatever you need in terms of education, you can count on me. Conferences, college, books. Oh, but I want to study. Study hard, study everything you want to study. That was my first life purpose. So, purposes and meanings change. Today, if you ask me, Andreéia, what is your purpose today? I say that today I renewed my My purpose. I say that I still want that one day, and that's my purpose in trying to
circumvent the system, that I push it further ahead. My purpose is that one day, and I live to write this, this story, is that one day my children will hold their own child in their lap and say to their children: "You deserved to have known your grandmother ." Think of a good, hardworking, funny, fair, honest woman. I live every day so that my children can one day tell this story with great pride, without shame. And that is my purpose. So I think that's it, the meaning of existence, we build it, and it doesn't have to
be a mega-meaning. For example, I want to go to Europe and see every country, every castle. That's one meaning. Uh-huh. After I go there and see the castles I want to see, I'll have other mini-meanings. So there are meanings that are small, that are big, that are related to your own history, that are related to the history of others. And so you always have a driving force that pulls you forward. But what about when you encounter people in your office, for example, who have lost that meaning and they can't see it as a possibility? It
was raising a child, the child can't manage. It was raising a child, the child died, the meaning ended. Yes, In that case the meaning ended, but it seems, it seems that there are people who lose their meaning, Robertinho, you really look and everything is fine, and they know, they lost it, they lost their meaning, right? And it's not because they have everything, they can't manage to implement it, to modify it. How, how do we help a person like that? That's why she's in therapy, right? Because it's not having, actually, I don't know if she lost
it, right? She's there, that's it. I don't know if she lost her sense of purpose. Maybe she never had it, right? Because sometimes we place meaning on others. Like, I see a lot of mothers in my office whose children are getting married, leaving home. Just last week I saw one online: "Oh, my children got married, both of them are doctors, both left home, now my life has no reason to exist." The marriage never worked, the career was never successful, she stayed in the marriage to raise those two boys. A terrible, awful marriage, with a disrespectful
husband. Now the children are getting married, leaving, now I'm going to support my life for what? So it's also very dangerous to place your meaning on others. Your meaning needs to be within Yourself. Oh, I'm working, I'm doing my things so that my son can be an honest man, so that my son doesn't go through what I went through. That's the big mistake. In reality, your child needs the bare minimum to be a viable human being. This idea of " oh, my child won't lack what I lacked"—that's a mistake we've been making, this overprotection we
want to have, which was different for us, it won't happen for my child. And maybe that's why we're raising these fragile adults and children from a generation. And it's funny how there's an exchange, right? A strong generation creates a weak generation . Then a weak generation creates a strong generation. You live on this ladder, right? So, for example, our generation was a very strong generation. At what age did you start working? 14, 15. That's it. Did you have problems working in the city? No, I took my time. Yes, yes, I was already old. Yes, I
was already old. Robertinho started at eight, I think. He could have worked much earlier. He was already wasting time. Do you have an eight-year-old son? I have a nine-year-old. Does he work? No, he's not a bum. And he's even more of a pain, because besides not working, you remember that before we started I told you that he's very responsible, he's studious, you don't need to rush him . You put the rule there and that's it, it's done. The newest youngest, which is nine o'clock, he doesn't work. Another thing, if he's not in the spotlight, he
doesn't study either, you understand? He has to be. And then we're afraid to put the pressure on him, right? Funny, my daughter turned around. There are a lot of "no's" like that, you know? Amanda turned around today and said: "Dad, what age is a teenager? At what age will I be a teenager, right? Married, huh?" I said: "Well, it depends, right?" She said: "It depends, I said, for example, Grandpa Cezinha, who is my father." I said: "My father wasn't a teenager, my father was a child. When he was 10 years old, he already had to
work and already had to become a man." So, he skipped from childhood to adulthood, he didn't go through that teenage phase. So I think maybe you have to go through those phases too, right? Sometimes, in his case, in the case of this generation that was strong, we may have skipped that Teenage phase and maybe that's why they didn't even have time to have problems. I don't know. I don't know what. That's it. I don't know if we erased it. I think it was a different adolescence. Hmm. It was an adolescence with more responsibility, it was
an adolescence with more meaning. You can't erase that phase, no. No, no. We don't create adolescence even today. That's it. My wife says, "Be a man." Even today you seem like a boy. You want to keep playing. In reality, we lived through it, but we lived through an adolescence that was adolescence. And I'm not here raising an issue, saying that our generation was better, that the previous education was better. I'm just saying what happened. We couldn't do certain things, and that's how things happened. So, if we wanted something, we had to go after it. There
wasn't a cut in our lives. There wasn't a cut in your father's life. It's not like a movie where we cut out a period, he was a teenager, but he was the teenager of his time with the responsibilities that were pertinent to him from then on. The issue is that we live through adolescence currently, a Re-edition of adolescence with a lot of permissiveness. Going a little into the film, right, Adolescence, already in episode one, the first question of episode one, at what point in humanity did we understand that a 13-year-old can walk the streets alone
without having to answer to their parents? Because that boy was alone at 13 years old. His parents didn't know where he was or what he was doing. They only found out about this information at the time of the crime. At what point in humanity did we understand that a 13-year-old can be on the street alone, without having to answer, without their parents knowing what they were doing? You, at 13 years old, could do that? No, not even then, I had to work, but my mother would know where I was, and I had a curfew on
weekdays, for example, at 3 years old, it was nine. And for example on Friday, if I stayed, I didn't have school that day, I could stay on the street playing until 11, for example, but it was at my front door. And my mother was there, she didn't call me, my father would give a little nudge, I'd go in. Robertinho, we can complain about one thing about our parents. They weren't affectionate. We come From a generation where parents didn't know how to show affection, but they were present. They would let you know where you were. Uh-huh.
And then, oh, oh. If something happened outside of those circumstances. Oh, oh, oh. The worst part is that I wouldn't let them know where I was. You were rebellious from the start. Man, I 'm sure of it. Yes. Like, I remember, I remember times I left home and came back two days later like that. No, but how old were you, with your hair? Oh, the first time, the first time I left home and slept over without telling anyone, I think I must have been about 12 years old. You're the exception to the rule. Maybe ,
maybe. No, and getting a beating too. You didn't get there at 17, I stayed away from home for four or five days. And then I remember to this day that when I was 17, I already knew what I was doing. So I remember to this day that I was afraid to go back home because things kept dragging on, like, I stayed three days without telling anyone. And why were you afraid to go back home? Because I thought, "Oh man, my dad's going to yell at me. My dad's going to yell at me a lot." Ah,
so you were rebellious, but there were consequences. If you were rebellious, I knew there would be consequences, right? But I saw something interesting because, like, I was sure my dad was going to yell at me. So I'd say, "Wow, I'll postpone it, I'll postpone it." But then you're telling me that at 17 you left home, stayed away for many days. That says something about your behavior. You were a rebellious teenager, but in your time there was cause and effect. You could stay, but you were going to get yelled at home or not? Right? So, actually,
after five days I found out there was no scolding. Then you were shameless. Dad thought I was dead. My dad thought I was dead. Then he said, "My son, don't do that to your dad again ." Why did you do that? It was missing. Don't do that to your dad again. Five days away from home, without saying anything, without reviewing anything. And from then on there was never any more scolding. No, no. And yes, it has happened before. But this time I think it caught me by surprise, it just came to me like that. There
had been. Qua I thought it was too much, way too much. I was so scared. There was one time, I only told this to the guys here, I think I must have been about 12 years old, and I would go play in the street and I would get Home very late, around midnight, the kids from the street would stay out late and I would ring the intercom, my dad would open the gate and I could go in. Then one day my father turned to me and said: "Look, I'm getting home late, the intercom's ringing, I'm
sleeping in tonight. You better get home earlier tomorrow. Look at my little finger. You better get home earlier tomorrow. If you don't, you're going to get a beating. You're going to get a beating. And [...] It's all good. So, playing, playing, playing. Midnight came and went. I'm going to get a beating. Then I said, I didn't have a house key either. I went to the front door, I'll stay here, right? What if someone opens the gate, comes looking for me, and so on. But I'm not going to ring the intercom. I'm not going to wake
up there , otherwise I'll get a beating. I spent the whole night at the front door, slept on the street, slept on the ground, in the cold. Then in the early morning the security guard passed by on his bicycle. I went for a walk with the guard on the sidewalks to watch his house. I went to a bakery that was about four sidewalks away. I had coffee at the bakery, ate some bread. Then The guard turned around and said, "Hey, brother, there's no way around it now. I'm going home, I can't walk any further than
you." I said, "No, it's okay, I'll go back home." I went back home, lay down on the floor, and stayed there until the rest of the night. At 7 in the morning, my father opened the window and said, "I saw you sleeping downstairs." I said, "Yeah, Dad." Hey, boy, don't do that to me again. Next time you touch me. You know what the problem was? There's a difference. Did he become a rebellious adult or not? No, no. He 's rebellious, but he's a rebellious person within normal limits, okay? He doesn't act without reason. There's no
difference, imagining the real case of the hairdresser, for example, because what I think he did was sometimes kind of natural for him. When he tells these stories about being 12, 13, 14 years old, at that age he was already a guy like my author, he was already a man physically, if you looked at him, he was a big man. He was big, really. Uh-huh. And his father is short. Did he think, "Wow, I'm bigger than this guy. You understand?" Unconsciously, yes. Have you ever seen that in nature? Really? I never thought about it. Unconsciously, yes.
Have you ever seen in nature, for example, when an animal wants to intimidate Another, it opens its wings, it expands its body to give that feeling of being physically larger? I'm bigger than you. That's it, in a way. Unconsciously, our brain is divided into what, in reality, isn't divided; our brain has evolved over time. So there's an area in our brain, the reptilian brain, which is the most primitive brain that responds to this. In the reptilian brain, this idea of physical superiority generates a feeling of being subjugated. So what is bigger gives that feeling. When
he was a child, he didn't do that. When he was about the same size as his father, he didn't act like that. That's why we say , educate them while they're small, because the day they're your size and bigger, you'll have a problem. Because in reality... He looks you in the eyes and says, "Oh, are you going to hit me now? You've hit me all the way now. What's going to happen? Are you going to hit me? Is it through force that we're going to resolve this? Because if it's through force, I'm bigger than you.
What's going to happen? Uh-huh." So it's no coincidence that instinctively, at a certain age, the one who hits stops hitting. Because from Now on, the physical buildup is unequal. I understand. I remember it very well, and my son gets angry that I keep bringing it up in the podcasts. Tomás, a kiss, I love you. I remember a situation very well; my husband is very angry, it may not seem like it. I seem angry, but I'm a well of calm. I generally resolve things with my children by talking, but what I need to say, I say.
My husband is more angry. And I remember him sometimes hitting Tomás when he was little, two men, right? And I remember the day that ended. I remember clearly one Sunday night Tomás took a He had a girlfriend over at my house, he was 16 years old, and he kept stringing her along. He kept stringing her along, he kept stringing her along. When midnight came, Jorge said, "Hey, where are you going? What's going on?" "No, I already called an Uber to take her." His father said, "What? You stayed up until this hour with this girl, stringing
her along, and now you're going to send her in an Uber? If it were your sister, would you like it that way?" Oh, come on. He said, "No, you're not going to treat her like just anyone. You're going to sort it out. We're Going to get in the car and take her home." When he said, "You're not going to treat her like just anyone," I remember it clearly. That boy grew up and became that size. Yeah, it's funny that it hurt his pride like that. For example, I saw him being taken over by the spirit
of "from now on you don't say what you want." I remember him banging on the table and saying to him: "You're not going to call her just anyone. Who do you think you are?" From today on, he stood up for himself, and Jorge got a shock and things got kind of weird, and I, as a mother, obviously, people, wait a minute, but I clearly saw from that day on, never from that day on was it a man's fault. But then you think that in the case of the series it's a mistake then for that child,
that teenager, at that time without informing the parents? Rodrigão, current adolescence is like a car where the teenager is driving and the parents, the teachers, the authorities are in the back seat. But the one driving the car doesn't know how to drive. A 13-year-old boy doesn't delegate control over his own life. A 3-year-old boy doesn't choose His own clothes or his own food. If your son is 3 years old and he chooses what he's going to eat and what he's going to wear, you're an idiot. And there are fathers who think that's beautiful, huh? No,
you're an idiot. You think it's really beautiful. I'm on your payroll. I'm there waiting in line with a woman and a little girl of 2 years old. "Sweetie, do you want white rice or brown rice? Sweetie, do you want beef or fish?" I almost hit her on the head. I said, "Hey, silly girl, come on, honey. You're the one who chooses what she eats. This girl doesn't know anything about nutrition. Wake up, stop being ridiculous. A 3-year-old doesn't know what's best for her to eat. What are you thinking? A 3-year-old doesn't know what's best for
her to wear. What are you thinking? A 13-year-old boy doesn't know the risks he faces on the street, he doesn't. There's something called subordinate. Children have to be subordinate to their parents . What do you mean, Andreia? The word subordinate comes from the Latin 'subordenadoris' or 'under order'. How do I take my child out from under orders? As he's able, so a Two-year-old, three-year-old boy wakes up with a dry diaper, a sign that he doesn't need to sleep in a diaper anymore, I take off the diaper, he's no longer subordinate to me. He already knows
when to pee now. Oh, the 6-year-old boy can already eat alone, choose what he's going to eat, I don't know." What? Now he doesn't need to be under that order. I'll gradually release the orders as he gains knowledge and maturity, including neurological maturity, to order himself, subordinated under someone's order, ordered, he orders for himself. Does a 13-year-old boy know the risks he runs on the street? I ask you both. Impossible. Impossible. Impossible, folks. Now, recently in Uberlândia, a young man of 23, that horrible situation where thieves took his car, tried to take him to defend
his girlfriend, he was stabbed, anyway, a 13-year-old boy, he knows that risk. And another point, speaking of neuroscience, of the brain, our brain, it has a maturation process. There is an area here in our neocortex that will respond to cause and effect. It is the last to mature. Yes, after 20, from 21 to 23, the 13-year-old boy, he has no notion of cause and effect. The consequence? No. He thinks he knows the dangers, and he'll even argue with you, saying he knows, that he's a man, but he doesn't. So, we're in a car, we have
teenagers driving, and in the back we have parents, teachers, and authorities sitting there afraid to say: "Don't accelerate, "Slam on the brakes." Turn this way, turn that way, letting someone who doesn't know how to drive drive. That's a portrait of today's society and what we're experiencing in terms of education, with a few exceptions. Wouldn't the opposite of that become overprotection? Because at the same time, I don't know, I remember when I was a teenager I used to walk around in a controlled environment, you know? If you're outside the rules, if you break them, you'd take
a bicycle and go into the woods, make hiding places in the woods, all things that are extremely dangerous today. It's really not possible to do it that way, but today I see children who, like, can't even go to the bakery, they don't know how to walk alone in the street. Rodrigão, but unfortunately we live in a moment in history and in our country, In fact, in the world, where there is polarization. It seems that when I say I need to give orders, the other symbol is overprotection. Or it's 880, right? It's not 880. A 13-year-old
boy can choose the clothes he's going to wear. He can, man. He should. If it's a shirt, If it's a Flamengo shirt or something, that's fine, man. To look well-dressed. My son went to a party one day, he passed by the living room, and his father said: "Aren't you going to say anything?" What did I say? About that ridiculous outfit he's wearing. I said: "Brother, I want him to be embarrassed by what you said to him. He doesn't wear that anymore. Yeah, well, he understands that that outfit is for society, in that world, he's a
man, he has to choose his own clothes. He doesn't want to ride a bicycle, get hurt, fall, break an arm, have a problem. We can't do that, it's not about extremes. Subordination is about giving orders as he can. Does your son already know how to tie his shoes? Yes. Then you don't need to tie them for him anymore. Uh-huh. He demonstrated maturity in relation to something. A sign that I don't need to anymore. He'll go on alone from now on. He knows how to dress himself, choose his clothes. Uh-huh. Then you don't Need to do
that for him anymore. He's a man." You're not going to be choosing the baby's clothes, or the mom's. But you know that if you go out in a certain neighborhood here in Araguari, there will be danger. You think you know, but you don't. You know how much you can drink and what you can do. Not knowing. It will cause problems. But this part that we have, this education, that the world today is on a path of overprotection, this was taken away from parents. And I'll explain why. Because many times you know what should be done
with your child, but everyone lives in society. Nobody wants to be judged by society. It's an extra burden. Raising a child is complex, making mistakes is what nobody wants to happen. And then you turn to a society where you say, look, I'm going to punish you, I'm going to spank you, I'm going to do this. And Tom says, "Wow, did you see her telling the boy to stay in the corner, in the little corner to think? That boy is going to be messed up, that boy is going to have mental problems when he grows up,
that boy is going to be introverted. You realize that if you have people helping you raise your child, either you're going to isolate yourself, or you're going to fight, Pick fights with a lot of people, or a lot of people are going to fight with you, because they want you to raise your child according to the standards they believe are best. Or you're going to say, 'It's my child, and I'm the one who decides. '" "If there's a problem, the consequences are mine." I had a psychoanalysis professor, there's a state behind this, huh? There's also
a state there, look. Torture, Child Protective Services. But then, but the people don't, it's not because you exaggerated, no. I'm putting a middle ground at this moment. Someone sees it like, wow, because what you're doing that sometimes isn't much for one person is extreme, the standards are different. You take, for example, we've already had with the psychologist here, the psychoanalyst, she thinks that correction doesn't exist, that it's only through communication. Oh, okay. And if she came to put a boy in time-out, in a corner, she could report you. I don't know if she would do
that. I 'm not using her methodology, it's the opposite of that. People live by this methodology and they can live by arresting even those who need it, right? You're not going to arrest parents because they're trying to educate. Yes, but it's an affront. Then you don't know. Then we run into problems. Then That's the story. Chicken foot in the Chicken coop. Exactly. And then you know what happens? And it's shown a lot in the exhibition series. In the teen series, in the second episode, the parents, the schools, the police— everyone is a hostage. A hostage
of TikTok, a hostage of NGOs, a hostage of human rights. You can't do anything because you're a hostage. So what do we see in episode two? The school, which should be a place of authority, becomes chaos. Because the teacher can't give orders, the teacher can't discipline, the teacher can't remove them from the classroom. The police are missing a system to say at the end, " Evaluate my service," because in a few days the police will have a system that will have to say: "I evaluated my service." Good, excellent, terrible. Everyone is going against a situation
of authority. And don't confuse authority with authoritarianism. I, especially, never beat my children, in fact, I never even hit them, never, but I was always very strict. And what needed to be said would be said, and what needs to be said is said to this day. But we shouldn't confuse authority with authoritarianism , nor education and rules with violence. Now, if we're going to be held hostage by all these mechanisms, Well, then we'll live in an anarchic society, nobody bosses anyone around, everyone does what they want, acts like an animal, lets them roam free, does
what they want, eats what they want, fends for themselves. That episode two, a lot of people are saying: "Wow, school this, school that, school that." But I don't see it as very different from the school of our time either, you know? I myself suffered bullying for a long time. A lot of bullying, a lot. And I had to bully a lot too. It was even a way for me to protect myself, because it was called bullying in our time. It existed, it didn't have that name, right? But it was called that, they'd call him chubby,
they'd call him big-nosed. To solve that. It was a joke. The most it amounted to was: "Hey chubby, I'm going to get you at the end of class." And 40 boys would get together, two boys in the middle slapping each other. That's how I solved it . The difference I see is that when I got home I had parents, you know? Because it was only in the school environment, but going to school was terrifying. It wasn't easy at school. You had to be ready for a fight, because, look, I'm going to get there, the teasing
is going to start and I have to be strong, I have to tease too. Rodrigão, but a lot of People suffered at my hands during that time too, right? You touched on the point. Sorry to those people I teased, my bad. Psychoanalysis will talk about this. It's never about the fact, but about the subject. It's not about the bullying itself, but about how much support you have for the bullying you suffer. You were very right in your statement. When I got home, I had a father and mother. An adult doesn't become a fragile adult, a
murderer, or a psychopath because of the bullying they suffered. They become that way because they don't have a family structure. They become that way because they suffer from emotional abandonment. Today, parents confuse freedom with emotional abandonment. When I give too much freedom, I 'm subjecting that teenager to emotional abandonment. And then, when bullying comes, they are fragile and they get sick. We all suffer bullying. That's unanimous. It didn't make us sick because we had support in our family and we had a structured family that supported us. Why did that boy end up like that in
the series? Because he had an absent father who, at 13, didn't know where he was, because he had a Mother he didn't admire or respect. He barely spoke to his mother during the entire episode. He speaks to his mother very few times, and even then in a very... But why didn't he respect his mother? Because his father didn't respect his mother. Because his father treated his mother with aggression, violence, and manipulation. So he had a family with two women he didn't admire or respect, his mother and his sister. And he had a father who was
extremely aggressive, violent, he went through that in childhood and was absent. A breeding ground for bullying to mess with a child's head. Oh, I don't know if that's it, you know, André? Just like in my time, my father and mother didn't protect me from the bullying I went through, you know? They really didn't protect you . They didn't even know what was going on, you know? They never asked. I would go to I used to have peace at home because the bullying didn't reach there. Today, bullying is 24 hours a day, right? Because bullying is
happening in another world that parents don't participate in, which is the world of social media, right? Which is something that I, as a father, am very afraid of today, right? Because The child doesn't tell either. Maybe if my father just asked me what was happening at school, you wouldn't tell him? I wouldn't tell him, I wouldn't tell him. "Dad, are you making fun of me because I'm ugly ?" Were you sure of your father's love? I always was. I always was. Were you sure of your mother's love? I always was. I always was. Did you
have a stable home? Yes, that's what I 'm talking about. It's not about your father and mother defending you from bullying. It's about having a stable family. It's about certainties. It's about being sure of your father's protection. Were you sure that if you needed your father at some point to protect you, he would be there? Yes, absolutely. That's what gave you the strength and psychological foundation to endure the bullying. It's not like I get home and tell my mom and dad, "Oh, I was bullied." It's not like inside my head it goes like this: "They're
calling me this, they're calling me that, but I have a mother who loves me, I have a father who loves me, I have a stable family, and if I need to, my mom and dad will protect me." It's a safe haven, you have somewhere to go back to. Your house has foundations, So it doesn't shake with any wind. I don't know if we teenagers believe in this paternal protection, you know? Thinking with a teenager's head. You even see it in the series, the boy, the policeman's son, he says to his father, "Dad, you don't know
what's happening here because you don't understand what's happening here." My son says that to me too. I'm like, "Explain this to me. " I say, "Dad, you don't understand, you don't understand what's happening there. You don't understand the boys' jokes. Like when he's playing video games, and I'm playing next to him. He's talking to his friends. If I say anything, he mutes me immediately so nobody hears what I'm saying if I'm near him, because he's embarrassed in front of his friends. I say, 'No, that's typical of adolescence, man. Stop it. Let me talk to your
friends.' No, Dad, you don't understand what's happening in there. It's better for you to stay quiet in their minds. We don't understand what happens in their online virtual lives. Today, at 11 years old, he thinks that when the boys are playing there, I see them playing and I walk by. 'Hey bacon, hey noob.' No, he's being teased. But you see, even my dad is here nagging. They suffer with that, you know, at 13 you think your parents are idiots." But deep down in your subconscious, the idea of a stable and supportive father and mother is
forming . It doesn't appear now, but it will in the future. When my son was 13, I thought: "Wow, I was, I am very harsh with him." Today, sometimes I have this conversation with him and say: "Mom, it's nothing, you weren't too harsh. If you hadn't been that way, I wouldn't be who I am today. Everything's fine. Back then I thought you were idiots. I didn't want you to drop me off at the school gate. I thought all that, but today I think you did the right thing." So, your son is forming his character today,
and you will reap the rewards later on . Don't give up on being who you are and doing things the way you are doing them, even if he doesn't realize it right now. You know another thing that caught my attention in the second episode that went unnoticed by people? The boy, when he kills the girl, he changes All his clothes and throws them away, right? That's right. Except for the sneakers, because they're expensive sneakers. Expensive, look at the inversion of values. Wow, it's much more important to have to be. A boy of age X, for
example, I know someone who has a 14-year-old son, and they go to the countryside, to the farm. He has those ATVs, he has those dirt bikes at 14 years old. A person like that will fall back into that beginning we were talking about. At 18 years old, he has nothing left to desire. Hmm. An 18-year-old boy who had almost everything in life, he has nothing left to fight for. And then human life has no value at all. The Air Max was worth more than the girl's life. He left the girl beaten up in the parking
lot. He washed the Air Max and took it home because it was worth so much. Once I had a patient in Porto Alegre, and he turned 18. His father was extremely wealthy, a director of one of the largest companies in the city, in fact, in the region. And the father had given everything his whole life because he thought he had to, and we all make mistakes. And when the boy turned 18, he gave him a Porsche. Two months later, the boy sped off in that Porsche on a highway at 4 A.m., crashed the Porsche, obviously
he died, and he messaged me. I said, "I insist on going to the funeral to support the parents." And it was one of the saddest scenes I've ever witnessed in my life. He placed his hand on his son's chest in the coffin when the man said, "Ah, we have to close the coffin, you know, that terrible time," right? He said, "First let me talk to my son." He placed his hand on his son's chest inside the coffin, looked at the boy and said: "My son, I gave you everything in this life, everything I could. I
did everything for you. The only thing I couldn't do was make you into a man. I'm burying a boy. You're a child. Unfortunately, I didn't make you into a man. Lack of 'no'. Is that it? Lack of 'no'. Excess of 'yes'. Excess of possession. Your son needs the basics to be able to grow in life. We give too much. Sometimes we need to hold on even when we can. Sometimes I have money in my wallet, sometimes I have money in Pix, but I don't transfer it. I'm dying for it, but I don't transfer it. You
need to grasp the value of money. You need to learn that you have to fight for money. Money doesn't fall from the sky. Money has a price. Money is sweat. When I find things easy, I don't value them. How can a 13-year-old child, I don't know, 14, 12, 10, have an iPhone of..." Latest generation, an iPhone that costs 8,000, man, a 10-year-old boy, 12 years old with R$ 10,000 in his pocket. That boy won't learn the value of things. I'm sorry, but he won't. What day? With 10,000, at 10 years old I had land of
Bal. We're talking about that age of 12, right, which is the age of the series, I think I was 13. 13. Uh, and speaking of the value of things, at that age I was already working, even at that age of 12, I was already working in a company, I received a salary and everything. It wasn't work from home, because I also worked from home. I was already a handyman, right, Robert? I was already carrying things, carrying boxes, things that were within my physical limitations. They worked for them at the time, they understood. "Hey, this isn't
heavy," but I carried much more, most of it was light, but anyway, I already had some money. Well, actually, I didn't buy anything because back then I'd give my money to my mom. I'd work, get paid, give Her the money, she'd use it for me, but she'd choose. You'd give your salary to your mom, she'd choose, like, you didn't know, you needed a pair of pants, she'd buy the pants for me, you know? That's how it was. You didn't hide anything, you handed it over, but you'd just give her a paperclip, right? Something like that.
Oh, but it wasn't like that, a payslip would come back then, it was money from the company. No, it was like, it came in a little envelope, it was nice, it was a good company, they just handed it over. I could buy things, since I worked, I understood very well the price of my purchases, I was the one who earned that money. But today it's not possible. Today it's not possible. There's an age limit. Do you think it works with the state? Do you think this prohibition on young people learning a trade, you know, not
being able to make it difficult, actually they make it difficult for young people to work, is valid? I I think it's absurd. I think you create fragile adults who don't know the value of things and who often think that having is worth more than being. Uh-huh. Today people are much more attached to what they have, to what's around them, to what's in their environment. Today your child Suffers bullying because they don't have an iPhone, because they have another phone and everyone at school has an iPhone. So I think we lost a lot the moment we
stopped... Teaching about cause and effect. When my son turned 18, I said, "If you pass the college entrance exam, I'll give you a car." Great. I gave him an old, well-used Fiat Palio. When he turned 18, we bought the car; I even remember the price. We paid 20,000 for that Palio. It was nice, but it was a 2012 model. He passed, passed, and turned eight. He passed, he got the car, I handed him the keys. Awesome , huh, Mom? I said, "Awesome. And does it have gas?" I said, "No, it doesn't. So, what do I
do?" I said, "Well, I don't know." Oh, I don't know. It's at the gas station. And what about the IPVA (vehicle tax)? I said, "Then I'll explain it to you. I called my husband, explain to him how IPVA works." Like this, like this, like this, and hold on. Like this, like this, like this, like this. It's all there. I said, "Bendo." I gave you the car, you're on your own. Fuel, taxes, insurance. You're already asking for too much. My father didn't give me a car, so I've already moved up a step with you. You're already
much better off than me. I only got my first car when I Was 30, and I bought it myself. My father didn't give me one. I'm giving you a car, you're on your own. Then he spent about three days pondering it, he had gotten into veterinary school. His aunt was going to Goiânia to buy clothes to sell in Uberlândia. My sister called her. "Aunt, in Goiânia they have country clothes, belts, hats, stuff. They do. If I can find a way or get a loan from my mother, just buy some clothes for me to sell at
college." "Buy them." That's it. He started. At the beginning of college, he sold belts, he sold buckles, he sold hats. During the Camaru era, he would go to the Camaru entrance at 3 pm with just a pin, selling hats. Then people said, "No, but Dr. André's son is over there selling hats. He has to pay for his car. Well, I'm not going to pay for a car. So it's like this, ah, this is about being radical, it's not about cause and effect. Mom, I need R$ 50, son, I need you to wash the sidewalk. And
I don't understand why we have this need to climb the ladder too, you know? Why do we climb the ladder? Eh, maybe this, this climbing the ladder is ruining people too, because you see, in my time happiness was like this, My dad brought home a pizza from an event that happened once every three months. Wow, it was the best thing in the world. Today is pizza day. It was like, look, it 'll only happen again in maybe six months, you know? Today, boy, hey, order a pizza. Okay, Rodrigão. I first tried ham when I was
12 years old. My dream was to eat ham. I dreamed of eating ham." Only rich people ate ham 40 years ago. I saw those hams, my sister was a cleaning lady at a doctor's house in Uberlândia, and she would take me on Saturdays to wash the doctor's wife's car, and she would pay me a little money. I was 10 years old, and I saw that ham. She said, " Look, today Dr. Henrique and Vera—I even remember her name—they're going out this afternoon," it was a Saturday, and we left. "I'm going to make you a ham
sandwich." But she put about 10 slices of ham inside this bread. Wow, man. And we walked up Nicomédios Alves do Santo street in the hot sun eating sandwiches. The result? When we got up there, in that hot sun, with all that ham, I vomited like crazy. To this day I don't like ham. So I joke with My children, I say: "You've tried new ham? That's great, you've climbed the ladder with us. From now on, it's up to you." When did you first go to the beach? Oh, I was a little kid, but only once with
my dad. I went to the beach. Once, right? Once. Then I only went again when I was almost an adult. Almost. And then, do you know why you don't value things? For example, electricity, you only value it, Robertinho Rodrigão. When do you remember and value electricity? Oh, because a person who always had a lot of it, always went to the beach, always ate pizza during the week, why would they value it? It's the same as valuing electricity. You've always had it. Yeah, I think what gets to you is the ease, the logic, I know that's
a bonus of evil, right? Everything that's simple has no value, right? For example, uh, we already talked about it, I don't remember with whom, like , look how wonderful your day is, for example. And after that I even started to appreciate it. Many of these moments... For example, when I take the boys to school, it's a good part of my day, You know? It's just a few minutes, right? Like, I take one, bring the other, it's 10 minutes each. It's a good part of my day and it's a simple thing. And for the vast majority,
this has no value, because it's easy, right? In fact, it's almost my obligation to take the kids to school. So, what doesn't have value is the real value, because what happens today is that what really matters is showing off, man. Like, your car today is important, especially for the younger generation, the brand of your sneakers is important, you know? If you're your father, he's someone important, that's important, you know? Nobody cares if you're a nice guy, although nobody cares if you're a good idea to the kids, you know? Like, it's because today we're exchanging things,
we need to focus on value, we're focusing on price. True. There are things that have value, that are priceless. Although we're talking about all these character developments, we have to remember that one of the biggest problems the boy in the series had was the worry of never having a relationship with someone, right? He was teased because of that, Because he was a nobody, because he was in the 80% who would never have a woman. But that's a new theory. We didn't live through that. It happened, we didn't know it, but today the kids are aware
of it. I mean, it's a theory, right, that 20%, I think, I think. Because it transforms, 80% of women today will choose 20% of men. These things evolve, right? But, for example, in my time I was teased a lot because of that, right? Like, " ah, back then it was 'BV' (virgin mouth), right?" Or after 'BV', 'Boca Virgem' (virgin mouth), in my time it was just 'cabass' (a slang term for virginity) . "This is going to be a problem for the rest of my life, I'll never have a woman, right? You're too ugly, nobody will
date you, everything. So, it was very hard because of that. And yes, that really was a problem in my adolescence, you know? Why, man? I think this issue of self-confidence, you know? It's important too, you know? I was very, very shy, very ashamed, you know? I believed what people told me , you know? And I tortured myself because of it too. I believed it and I pressured myself and tortured myself like that, You know? Like, oh, why, why are things like this? Why am I so ugly , so different from other people, right? My sister,
who was incredibly beautiful, always very beautiful, she was always teasing me too. At home, at that time, I suffered bullying too, like, my sister was all pretty, she had boyfriends and everything, right?" Like, oh, and she, she's already 2 years younger than me, already dating, right? And I was 15, 16, and had never even kissed anyone. And that turned into a joke. And I had several friends who were already dating at 12, 13 years old. You were teased especially about your looks and your relationships with women. Yes. Without. Did that make you a murderer, a
misogynist? Then don't answer. You didn't kill anyone, did you, man? No, I was thinking about that. I was thinking about that. Maybe it's the way I grew up, the way I was born, I grew up surrounded by women. No, but answer me objectively. No, it didn't, it didn't. Because there we see a murderer and a misogynist. He has, he has a deep difficulty with women, including his sister And his mother. He couldn't have done it, Rodrigão, he didn't do that to that boy. When you put the blame on him, he had a hatred for women,
man. He harbored resentment towards women because of the environment he was raised in, because he saw his father constantly subjugating his mother, trampling on her and neglecting her. In that episode three, when only the relationship between the father and mother is shown, that woman has no will of her own. That man yells, he keeps her in a condition where she's constantly being carried, walking on eggshells. It wasn't an advantage in that house to be feminine. In that house, the feminine was the one trampled on, the subjugated one. So, why should I like this race if
my father treats it this way? The sister and mother are supporting characters in that story. So much so that in the last chapter, when he calls his father and he transfers the call to his mother, he gets angry that his mother is talking. That boy was misogynistic and became a murderer. And it wasn't because of the bullying, it was because of the environment he saw inside his house. You experienced bullying, you experienced hostility, even your sister bullied you. People said You wouldn't have a boyfriend, people said you were ugly. Not even that made you become
misogynistic or a murderer. I won't accept it and I will raise this issue for the rest of my life. The blame isn't on the bullying, the blame is on the lack of foundation and family structure. Yes, I was resistant, you know? I was resistant, your son can be a victim of bullying as much as he wants. If he has a family structure that supports him, he won't waver. The formula is foundation, a house built on a firm foundation doesn't shake. Now, a house built on clay, any wind shakes it. The boy who suffers from bullying,
whose personality is transformed by bullying, is a boy who has a family environment that shakes him. So any wind makes this boy... Man, we suffered horrible bullying. Bullying back then was much worse than it is today. No, it wasn't worse. Oh, what? It wasn't worse. He was worse. He was worse. But he was totally worse. I 'm like, what? The guys were doing some training sessions one day, man. Yeah, it's not the same guys. Man, I studied at the Museu school in Uberlândia. Museu is a super old school and when Everyone went down to the
courtyard there was a staircase, three floors, a giant staircase that went down to the courtyard. Imagine, 1000 boys in the morning, 1000 children. And that huge staircase, whoever was going down, everyone could see. I was born into an environment, my parents were very poor, seven children. When my mother took everyone to get their hair cut, she took everyone. What kind of haircut? This one. My father was in the military, everyone had the same haircut. So, the women, the men, it was all the same. And I wore the clothes that came from my brothers. I joke
that poor people don't change their clothes, it's the poor people who change their clothes. The clothes came from there. So I went to school in shorts and a t-shirt, I had some sense of what it was like. I discovered that I was ugly, that I was poor, that I was strange at school. At home I didn't know that, everything was fine. One day I was going down the stairs, the first days of school, I was going down the beautiful staircase, a three-story staircase, a courtyard with 1000 children below at recess, me alone on those stairs,
I remember that scene like it was yesterday. I heard a boy loudly shouting, "Ah, dyke!" Thousands of boys, everyone looked at the stairs. I didn't have the strength to go down. I didn't Know if I should disappear, not because of the term itself, but because of the exposure. Everyone looking at you. I wanted to die. My mother, we didn't have money to buy lunch at school. My poor mother, in her mind, thought I was studying at the neighborhood school. One day the principal called her in and said, "This girl is very intelligent, before you act.
Put her in the downtown school." Then she put me in the museum. That was my heaven and my hell. Because at the neighborhood school I was just like everyone else. At the museum, I became the onion in the fruit salad. I was the only poor one. I was the only one who didn't go to the beach every year-end. I was the only one whose parents didn't pick me up at the school gate. I was the only one who was a little less attractive, more poorly dressed, wearing shorts and a t-shirt. It was my heaven and
my hell. I study at that school, and my mother said, "Look, my daughter, it's a downtown school, all the boys buy lunch. Mommy doesn't have money to send lunch, to buy lunch for you. You bring your own lunch." My lunch was a source of bullying. One day I remember my mother sent a baked kibbeh. A boy walked by and yelled, "Her lunch looks like vomit!" Because they Would buy those warm, fresh savory snacks, which today were my dream, those esfirras, and Coca-Cola, I'd bring a can of margarine with what was left over from Sunday. Baked
kibbeh, a piece of lasagna. I was a victim of bullying, horribly. My siblings were victims of bullying, horribly. There are seven of us. My father is Black, the color of this screen here. My mother is white, white, white. So at home, four Black, four, three white. My siblings suffered so much. Bullying happened when we went out together, people didn't understand why Black people were brothers to white people and all that stuff. Nobody became a murderer or a misogynist. It wasn't for lack of bullying, it was because we had a family structure. There's nothing genetic in
that burden, no. Nothing in the DNA of what? Of that boy's psychopathy, no. And emotional illness, it needs two things. It needs the gene and the environment to awaken the gene. In his case. Yes. So you're there, look, let's go back in time. The grandfather beat the father, that's it. The father was extremely violent and the boy becomes a murderer. Do you see the genetic burden? Uh-huh. Yes. So, yes, answering Your question. Yes. I think so. Yes. Sagres even commented here, right? He said, look, that's what I told you. I'd get home, I had peace,
right? Yes, but when I got home, everything was fine. It's the same thing, there's peace at home, but there weren't social media platforms constantly reinforcing that, right? And today, social media reaffirms that 24 hours a day. And that's what I tell you: "Oh, my kid, my kid won't let me understand what's happening there because he's ashamed." And maybe it can be a hostile environment there. And why are kids on social media? What I was going to say now is the mistake, the mistake. Social media, Rodrigão, there are many people who aren't on it. There are
kids climbing guava trees, kids breaking their arms, kids doing things they should be doing. Social media is part of their lives today, but separating a child from that environment is the obligation of the father and mother, and it's necessary. So you see where we confuse freedom with emotional abandonment? When you leave your child on social media all day, you're not giving them freedom, you're abandoning them emotionally. You're Failing to protect and safeguard your child. I have a friend, and I'm sure she won't mind me telling this, and she says every day: "My biggest regret is
that I didn't protect my son." Her son committed suicide, in quotes, it was during the pandemic, that "hold your breath" challenge. I know. He went to do the "hold your breath" challenge. When she gets home from work, it's too late. He's lying there, they call the fire department, a 14-year-old boy, there's nothing to be done. The boy is dead. When she opens his Discord, everyone is doing that challenge and everyone is encouraging others to do it. Today, it has become the meaning of her life. The meaning was her son. Now the meaning is to warn
mothers about this phenomenon. She changed the meaning of her life so that she can continue to exist. She says every day: "My biggest regret was not watching what my son was doing. My biggest regret was letting my son spend hours and hours and hours on social media at only 14 years old. He wasn't emotionally ready to hear that, to be bombarded by all that. It 's not your child's job to get off social media, it's your job to take them off. It's inevitable. Today these kids are born into social media already. They're born with a
cell phone in their hand, watching 'Little Chicken' (a popular Brazilian children's show). That's what happens today. Who puts the cell phone in their hand? We pay for it, they buy it, they work and buy the cell phone and watch 'Little Chicken'. No, it's the father and the mother. They pay for the internet, they pay the cell phone bill. It's inevitable. If there's one thing that's avoidable, it's that. Well, no, technology is, in a way, inevitable for this new generation, because if you take it away from them, you disconnect them from reality. This interaction has to
happen, it has to have limits. That's it, right? It's not the screen, it's not the cell phone that..." It's a mistake. It's inherent to their world. They have to have that. It's not about bullying anymore. You don't have an iPhone? No. They need that part because that's how their world is. I have my son, who is 24 years old today. I monitor the time he spends on social media. It's not necessary, right? No, of course not. He can sleep, turn over, do whatever he wants, because he's capable of handling everything that's there. Uh-huh. A 17-year-old,
Even with moderation, isn't capable yet. Moderation at 17. With moderation. You do a kind of control there, see? It's a kind of control to start with. The first control is that at home the password for Cell phone, computer, everyone has the same password. Uh-huh. That person has freedom on mine and I have freedom on theirs. Because only those who pay for it have freedom. The day you pay your phone bill, then you have individuality. For now, I'm the one who pays. You don't. Then you wouldn't even need to let me access yours, right? So, everyone
has the same password. 2602. You want to open mine, but I open theirs too. You can access it, you can't access it. But what if I want to access it? If I want to, I can. If I need to, I need to. Sometimes I need to. Oh, son, you have to have freedom. You don't have to have freedom. Only those who pay for it have freedom. The day he's out of my house, not eating my food, drinking my water, the internet isn't mine to pay for, then he has freedom. The day he goes to live
in a house he pays for, he can be absolutely sure. I'm not going to ask him for an explanation now. As long as he's in my house, He'll still give me an explanation. Because we live in a community. It has to be good for everyone . Common unity. If it's only good for one person, that's wrong. Oh, it'll only be good for him. No, here, look. Uh-huh. As long as we're living together, that's what's good for everyone. And we decided as a unit. Now, the day you pay your bills, then you can come home whenever
you want, you can go wherever you want. That's no longer my concern. Then I'll either applaud or cry. But as long as he's in my house, ah, it's inevitable that the boy will have screen time. How is that inevitable, people? I've never seen a three-year-old working, going to buy a cell phone and making calls. Of course it's not inevitable. You don't want to commit and set limits, it's a shame. It's a facilitator. Parents end up outsourcing, right? I don't know. Oh, it's become a pacifier, right? A cell phone today at three years old is a
pacifier. Look, give that boy a pacifier. Give him the cell phone. "Yeah, when you were little, I used to say I had a terrible fear of restaurants with kids' areas, I wanted to die. It turned into hell, a cacophony of shouting, nobody talked, nobody listened to anything, kids jumping around, balls flying everywhere . It was hell. That didn't exist 30 years ago. Did you go to a restaurant for your dad? Rarely, Robertinho. Rarely. Then you'd go, 'Guys, today we're going out to eat. ' Great. Seven kids at the table, or however many there was, that
was your family. What did you do? When you got to the restaurant? You'd sit down, stay quiet until it was time to leave. Yeah, until the food arrived, right? Then the food would arrive, you'd eat, and then you'd just sit there. And it was really like that, man. Worse, I remember being nobody. Yeah, folks, now if there's no kids' area, we're in the middle of an indigenous village. It's food being eaten, kids running over you." The other day I almost broke my leg at the mall. Oh, the boy hit me so hard I went flying.
I said, "Gen, are there no such things as 'old-school' moms anymore? That's crazy. It's all 'Nutella moms' all the time. Kids run around inside malls, there are no limits, they run around inside restaurants, dropping things, dropping things, kids, don't sit down, wait. Then you'll say, 'André, you're too radical.' I'm not radical." Once we went to a barbecue stand, my husband said about my daughter: "Oh, what do you take while she Waits for her barbecue?" I said, "She doesn't take anything. She was 4 years old. Honey, but she'll get bored." I said, "That's right, but that's
exactly why. She goes to the restaurant to get bored." He said, "Are you crazy? You're going to drive these kids crazy." I said, "Jorge, when she's 18 and goes to college, the professor will give her a book, this thick one, and she'll need to be bored to read it." So she needs to learn about boredom now. She's going to learn to be bored. She's going to sit quietly, feeling the boredom. Then he would joke: "Go on, put those crazy kids in their place." And there she is at the barbecue, and I'm like, "My daughter, how's
it going? Is it very boring? Hang in there. Go live your little bit of boredom and learn from it." That's exactly how it happens. How can you put an 8-year-old boy in a company working from 8 am to 5 pm if he hasn't learned that at home? Seriously. I do consulting for companies. The biggest problem in companies today is this. I'd say, I dare say, nine out of ten companies... When I arrive, people say: "The problem is people, people have no concept of authority, They didn't learn it at home, they didn't respect their father, they
didn't respect their teacher, they didn't respect their mother, their aunt, their grandmother. Then they get to the company, are they going to respect them? They'll never respect them. Not even the police officer. You use a term like that, there are no 'real mothers' anymore. The mother is the first line of defense, there's a hierarchy. How does that classification work? The mother is the one who's really responsible, because where is this boy's mother? I don't know anyone who says: 'Where is the boy's father?'" "Where's the mother?" Psychoanalysis will say the following: the mother gives life, the
father pushes towards life. The father is the one who makes the cuts. The mother gives life, she's involved with the boy's life all the time. Eating, bathing, climbing his finger. Shouting, talking, that's what a mother does. She's giving life. The father makes the cut, the father pushes towards life. The father is the one who arrives and says: "Aren't you going to brush your teeth? Your mother has already told you five times, do you need me to do something about it?" Then the boy goes. So psychoanalysis will say, theoretically and scientifically: you need both. If one
fails, that human being will have problems later on. He needs the one who gives life and he needs the one who pushes towards Life. The father is the one who arrives and says: "Look, it's time for you to start working: "Ah, how are you going to do it? How long are you going to be on my back?" Then the mother says: "Poor thing." Or the father is the one who arrives and says: "Look, from today on you're going to sleep in your own room," tomorrow: "Ah, he's scared, from today on he'll be in his own
room." You see how the father is the one who pushes towards life? So Freud would say the following: "The mother gives life, the child is generated inside the womb, the father makes the cut, it is the father who cuts the umbilical cord." So the baby is born, who cuts? Who separates these two beings? The father is the one who always separates the child from the mother. It is the father who always pushes the child towards life. When the father is weak, the child stays attached to the mother, becomes a fragile human being who doesn't go
into life. Essential. You're making the cut neatly, nice and clean. Huh? You're making the cut carefully? Do it at home. Because I think everyone thought like this: "Wow, make the cut, it's a pair of scissors, something like that." Geez, where's the machete, man? Like, pass it over there, "Kid. So much so that Bianca is extremely fierce. Her Wife is very strict. To the point that sometimes, without them realizing it, I go there and have a chat with Bianca, and it's not necessary, man. Not even my mother, not even my mother, who was very fair. She,
my mother, wasn't just fair. That's how she was. You really wanted to give a very old-fashioned idea, right? And then you ask them, like, who's fiercer? Say something like: 'My father, it's because you rarely come in, but when you do, you really come in.' Not me, I practically don't talk like that. You know, you know, you know, you know? No. Or the beauty. You talk, you talk until you crack. It's because, well, I'm very calm, actually. That also brings me tranquility to the point that she works well, I'm calm, so it happens naturally there. But
it's something very, those who know me very deeply can clearly identify when I'm nervous. And my nervousness is very nervous, you know? Like that, so it works well. A very calm person, she lives in extremes." Right? She has two modes, either an extremely calm mode or an extremely nervous mode. Yeah, I've seen the story of the Hulk, how he stays calm because otherwise it's a Disaster. I police myself a lot to avoid getting nervous, because sometimes I don't know what I'm going to do. Roberto, afterwards, he's very angry, very angry. Immediately afterwards I don't know
what I 'm going to do, you know? So I've seen Robertinho Bravo already. He's very angry. He's very, very angry. Robertinho called me. I was too angry. Why, guys? Tell me. It's something I learned. Sometimes when I'm very nervous I call. He called because I was right here now. It's worse on the phone. He said: "Come here, I want to talk to you." He was angry with you. I immediately apologized. I said: "I'm sorry, man, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry." Is it windy that it's good to speak little?
Bravo, bravo. Who speaks little when they speak angrily, because once, once a guy hit his brother and his brother was very strong and then Robertinho arrived at this bar and he arrived very angry, very angry. And then he arrived and the guy was big-headed, he arrived grabbing the guy's head like this, down like this, look, who's hitting my brother here and so on. And when he saw it, the whole bar Left like that because Robertinho was too angry and I was, and I was skinny, you know, only loses to his father who once wanted to
hit his father, then he was angry, I'm going to hit you and went at him angry. How old were you? But his father hit him too much. And your father hit you? Lies. He gave him two stitches on his face, ask where to get help, how was it better, man to man or father to son? Man to man. UFC fight. UFC." Lies. UFC and he beat up three. His father beat up three, which was him, his brother, and another friend. The three of them ganged up on his father , and his father put on a
show. He's tough. His father put on a show. No, it's not that he's tough, it's that he's accurate. I, oh, I used to throw a lot, but I didn't hit any. I used to throw a little, but I hit them all, man. What's that? Every time I threw, I wasn't there. Every time I threw, I was there. I let it go. And Robertinho Capoeira at the time, all strong like that, look. No, but he hit too much. He hit too much. Serves him right. It wasn't good, but it was the day I saw myself as
a man, you know? It was, from then on the relationship changed, right? It changed, it changed. It was the day, maybe he didn't respect you until then. Yeah, it was the day He saw me as a man. So much so that I think I was even right that I had more people on my side. In your case, you got beaten up, but Okay. No, not really. And it was good that I didn't get beaten up alone. The guys who were with me got beaten up too. Everything's fine. Yeah, but it's crazy, right? I've also confronted
my dad like that, like, stop, right? Obviously nothing happened. It was like that. And does every child at some point confront their father like that? Because what is adolescence? Until childhood , your daughter asked, until when does adolescence last? Childhood lasts until about 12 years old . Until childhood, the child lives the life of their parents. They go where their parents take them, they wear the clothes their parents tell them to wear, they eat what their parents tell them to eat. So, until 12 years old, their world is the world of their parents. From 12
to 21, they go in search of their own world, which is over here, look. Here is the world of their parents, here is their world. Adolescence is this abyss where they are neither in the world of their parents nor have they built their own. That's why it's dangerous. He's loose. Uh-huh. So, at 12, he leaves planet Father and goes in search of his own planet. But he still doesn't find it, And it takes a while. He'll find it around 21. And then he'll live through this period here, this blackout, this chaos. That's why teenagers are
so vulnerable. That's why teenagers follow trends, that's why teenagers need groups, they need imitation, because they're looking for their world, trying to build their world. So it's very natural. And then Freud talks about killing the father, killing the mother, that around 12, 13, 14 years old we make this move. Until 12, 13, your father is your superhero. You admire him, you think your father is handsome, you think your father can handle everything. We have this illusion. My father can handle everything. Oh, if my father were here, this wouldn't have happened. A man of steel. At
12, 13 years old, you start to understand that your father isn't all that. And then you start to feel ashamed of your father, your father and your mother. So, oh, my dad is weird. Oh, my dad talks about these workouts, it's all nonsense. Oh no, Dad. Oh my god, Dad. My friends are here. Dad, don't drop me off at the school gate. I remember my mother was a school cafeteria worker. Oh my god, but I was so ashamed when my classmates found out she was a cafeteria worker. But that's at that stage. So, It's natural
and necessary for the child to lose that admiration. He will regain that admiration later on , but then he will take it in a concise way. Now he looks at you and says: "You are the adult I want to be or not, right?" It's either that or no. And when that's poorly constructed, the answer is no. So the goal in life is that, as we joke, from 12 to 18, if we could Locking them in a closet, only opening it at 18, would be ideal. From 12 to 18, they'll think you're awful. You're the worst
person in the world. From 18 onwards, they start building a favorable image of their parents. I've seen some parents who maintain a very, very good relationship with their children , even at that age; this was built up, or it's like how Cabello was in adolescence— he's an exceptional young person. It's an exception. 12 to 18. Yes, it's an exception. And I'm almost about to tell you that it's manipulation. Did you see it in the episode with the boy and the psychologist? Yes. It's one of the parts I liked the most, okay? He tries to manipulate
her the whole time. Yes. What do you do? Do you like me? You should be asking that. Shouldn't you be asking that? Then He tries the whole time to find out what she wants him to answer. And he tries the whole time to answer something to please her. And then I heard this from a psychiatrist, and it's the absolute truth, I studied this a lot in college. From ages 12 to 18, a person has a tendency to be very manipulative. So they play their father against their mother. Hmm. Dad, can I go to such and
such a place? No. Oh, then I'll see if my mother will let me. Playing them against each other. They play the teacher against their father, their father against the teacher. So, because their personality is very fragile, they're trying to fit this personality. So, they unconsciously think: "Since I don't know who I am, I'll try to understand who you want me to be. And then I'll become who you want me to be." Hmm. Oh, so you expect me to be a very good, studious boy. Wow, Dad, I got so many good grades at school. Wow, the
teacher praised me so much. Wow, so your son notices that you have a problem with your nine-year-old, who is more mischievous and whom you praise a lot because he is very responsible and studious, he unconsciously picks up on this and then he starts to reinforce this Role, because in this role he shines. Uh-huh. My brother shines and appears in the role of the problematic one. I shine and appear in the role of the systematic one. So I'm going to reinforce the role of the systematic one. You see? The subliminal manipulation happens there. So the teenager
is extremely manipulative. This is not yet a pathology. But if it persists into adulthood, it becomes a pathology later. So parents don't need to be afraid. Yeah. Oh, really? Oh, but that's so heavy. No, daughter, it's not heavy. It's science. Teenagers are manipulative. It's natural for their age, right? They lie, they lie. Horribly. Horribly. Once my son said, "Oh, because there's going to be a party at school. We're going to the school party." A lie. Later, we found out, he was 15 years old. It was a party organized through Facebook, those Facebook groups they put
up, party, such and such place. We got there, the boy was in an alcoholic coma, passed out on the grass. Yeah. At that stage, the father and mother have to become detectives. No, but he's not lying, you have to investigate everything all the time. That's why there can't be freedom. The Statue of Liberty has to be next to the Statue of Responsibility. Can you give Freedom? No. So, but then you arrive and find your boy after a lie, drunk and passed out on the ground. What do I do now? Do you want to know the
ideal or do you want to know what I did? Both. No, no, I want the ideal. I want the ideal because then I'll do what you did. The ideal first, the ideal is for you to have a vigilant attitude. No, but I trust my son 100%, you're wrong. Your son is not 100% trustworthy. His brain isn't fully formed yet. He's not a 100% reliable person. This isn't a character flaw. He doesn't have a character disorder. He's trying to be who he imagines you want him to be. Notice that the boy is constantly trying to map
out the psychologist's vision of who she wants me to be so he can become what she wants him to be. Uh-huh. So, the first thing is to be vigilant. Teenagers can't suffer emotional abandonment. That's not freedom if it's emotional abandonment. When I leave my phone 100% up to him, when I don't investigate the parties he goes to, when I don't know who his friends are, in the name of freedom, I'm emotionally abandoning him. I'm not giving him freedom. So I need to know what's going on. And if there is... There had to be consequences, some
situation, there had to be consequences. So, recounting the outcome, we left him there at the party. I called about two hours later to see if everything was alright, he was 15 years old. Tomás, I called his cell phone, he didn't answer, his friend, who is still his best friend today, Gustavo, answered. "Hi auntie, everything alright?" I told Gustavo everything. "Where's Tomás?" "He's in the bathroom." "Tell him to call me in 5 minutes. Do you want to come back from the bathroom? He left his cell phone with you." 5 minutes later Tomás hadn't called. I called
again. Gustavo again. "Hi auntie. Tomás hasn't come back from the bathroom." I said: "Gustavo, there's a problem. I'm going there now." We got the car. When I arrived at the place, an illegal party, a security guard at the door, I arrived, my husband stopped, and said: "Honey, I'm going to park the car, get out, go see what happened." I thought, "This is terrible. I was calling my cell phone, but no one answered. I got to the door, there was a security guard, and I said, 'Excuse me, I need to go in, My son is in
there. You're having a party with minors, an illegal party, and I need to go in to get my son. Aren't you going to go in?' I said, 'I'm going in.' As I turned my back, a police car was passing by. I stopped the car and said, 'Sir, this is an illegal teenage party, my son is in there, I can't get in touch with him.' Obviously, the police went in, broke up the party, and when my husband went in, the boy was lying there on the lawn in an alcoholic coma. He had drunk cinnamon, I don't
know what it was. We took him to the hospital, and the next day there was a huge problem. I even went into his school WhatsApp group and said, 'Look, this happened, this, this, this. Tomás did this, this, this.'" I'm going to talk to all your parents. And that's what I did. I went to each of his friends' houses and talked to all their parents. Yesterday, if I had hit him with a piece of wood... He was too upset about that. Yeah. You know the story about how Tomás's mother ruined the party. You know what I
told the parents? Our children were at a Party, and my father said, "I'm going to judge you whether I did right or wrong, haters." I went with him to each of their houses and said, "Listen, let me tell you something, I'm bringing Tomás here, and I wanted to let you know that he's not good company for your son. He drinks and he lies. So, from now on, don't let your son hang out with him anymore, okay? Because he's not good company for your son, because your son came home early, didn't he? He did. Was he
in a coma? No, he wasn't, André. Well, mine came home in a coma, drunk, and he's a liar. So, from now on, don't let him hang out with him anymore, because this one isn't any good yet. Maybe he'll become good, but right now he's no good. What a dirty trick. That's a dirty trick. What a dirty trick. Today he's a man, he lost his friends. He didn't lose anything. They're all still his best friends. He graduated this past December. We had a graduation party. All the boys told this story, laughing, saying, "Look, uncle, you're too
funny." Do you remember what the lady did? Everything went well. But I have a friend, she did this. And why did she do that? Because others will Replicate it. And so it was like this, look. The one who did this was Andreia's son who influenced you, and he's not the influencer. But it's very easy for another parent to go there and say, look, look, he's walking with Mateus, Mateus does this. Look there. You understand? And that's why the mother went there and said: "Look, my baby does this and this and this, if you want to
let him walk around like that, you can." What was the parents' reaction that impressed me the most? They all said: "André, thank you, I didn't know it was a clandestine party." André, thank you very much. I didn't know what so-and-so was doing on a Saturday night until this hour on the street. So, look how much we parents are held hostage by this situation. But they let the friendship continue like that, just like that? They even let it continue like that, but no, you're too radical, he's a good boy. Don't do that again, it was just
a little embarrassment he felt there so he wouldn't repeat it. So he wouldn't repeat it. His father didn't... Has anyone ever been through such embarrassing situations in their life? My dad always pats me on the head. André, that 's what happened. That was the problem. That was the problem. Huh? Yeah. No, he hit me with a rope once. No, but that day was nothing, man. Yeah, but I think he applied everything he hadn't applied before, you know? I'm going to correct him today. I was even telling the story to my boys, right? That I went
to take a test there, and the test had five questions. I wrote in the first one, I don't know, it was the most expensive school in the city where he studied, okay? I don't know either. The third ones, if I don't know any of them, how am I going to know the others? And I left everything out, right? Then the teacher turned around and said: "Look, what do you think I am? I've never seen anything like this in my life. Tell me, take the test to your father to teach, you can only enter my class
when this test comes back signed." I said, "Then everything's fine, it's what I wanted. I don't want to participate in your class, I'm not going back to your class anymore because my father won't see this test and won't sign it." Then she said, "He won't." She grabbed the test, went to my father's store here, look. Look what your son is doing. My father looked. Get me 2 meters of rope. [Applause] I cut the rope and Put it on. The Bible says a lot like this: "By their fruits you will know them." The fruits are the
children of the tree. Do you agree? Uh-huh. What kind of fruit are we bearing? My son, on my last birthday, he posted a photo on Instagram and he's very shy. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, but that day he did and wrote: "Mom, people and my friends need idols. I don't have any. My idol is inside my house. That's enough for me. That's it. How old are you? 24. Oh, okay. I thought he was still manipulating me. Yeah, I think so. And my children aren't role models. My children have a lot of flaws,
a lot. But I'll have parents to die with. Parents need to have parents to die with. I see parents who won't have parents to die with. We need to think like this one day: the day I go down underground, I'm leaving two viable human beings in the world. There are people who won't have peace to die. People ask themselves: "What kind of world am I leaving for my children?" The question is: "What kind of children am I leaving for the world?" I'm sure my children are full of flaws. Tomás is More ready now. Bia isn't
yet. But Tomás, if I only had the... Tomás, I would have peace to die. He's already graduated, he's already earning his own money, he's already engaged, he's a viable man, he's a viable human being, he's an honest citizen. He has his flaws, yes. He's ignorant sometimes, he's rude, he has his issues, but I lay my head on the pillow in peace, knowing he 's a viable human being. Not me, I'm afraid of leaving these hells running around the world and destroying people's lives. If that moment comes and Tomás is ready, then it's all good, right?
You don't have to worry about that anymore. Does he have any obligation to somehow help his sister get to the same point you left him at? Absolutely. Absolutely . Especially because she listens to him much more than she listens to me now, right? Because of the emotional and chronological proximity, he has much more emotional authority over her than I do. So much so that she wants to study the same course as him. He studied veterinary medicine, she wants to study veterinary medicine, and she's crazy about it . He. The two never fought. A love, and
it's like a girl and a girl, six years apart. A Tenderness for each other. And she, she, she showers him with compliments. She says: "Tom, you are my role model as a man. She's crazy about him. So he does have it." Then you'll say: "Oh, at 24 years old now, what's your role?" Fathers and mothers also need to learn to become useless. Fathers and mothers get better when they become useless. The more useless I become in a child's life, the better. Today I am absolutely useless in Tomás's life, however hard that is. He loves me
for loving me. I'm good for nothing. I don't pay his bills. I'm not the one who bosses him around, I 'm not the one who thinks for him, I'm not the one who is absolutely useless in his life. And Everything's fine. Parents know they did their job right when a child starts becoming useless. A child who's dependent on their parents until I don't know when you went wrong. But are you sad about being useless in their lives, or are you happy? I'm very happy, but I still get emotional because my role now is to applaud
or cry depending on the decisions he makes. But I don't control him anymore. For example, on Saturday he went to a party I didn't agree with. I thought he Shouldn't go. It wasn't a party I thought he should go to, but he said he would. I said, "My son, it's all right, it's your choice. You know what's good and what's not. If it goes wrong, I'll cry. If it goes right, I'll applaud. But I'll lay my head on the pillow and go to sleep. But at some point did you say he shouldn't go? Oh, I
did. You did. I argued why he shouldn't go. He said, 'No, but I want this and that.' I said, 'Are you a man?' Is everything alright? Are you a man? I can't do it. So, I understand that the family tree is extremely important, but there are, I think there are cases and cases, you know? Like, I had my father's family tree, which was a good family tree, I didn't have my mother's family tree. My father is very good-hearted, but he really wasn't strict when he needed to be , you know? And I even attribute my
friends to that, thank God I had important friends who ended up helping in the formation of my character, you know? I had everything to be..." ...a drug addict, to , I don't know, be one. But do you think your roots weren't good looking at your father and mother? Man, And like, my, it's like I told you, my father is a very good person, like, very, very good, very fair, but he ended up having to worry about keeping the house, you know? He wasn't the father who participated in school. Yes, yes. And you became a good
and fair man. Yes, yes, yes. My father is important, right? He's not very far from me. My father, [ __ ] who gave birth, I am 0.001% of the person my father is. Yes, yes, yes. But I mean, there's no such thing as perfect, like, my mother was completely absent from my life, completely absent, you know? I went years and years without talking to my mother, rejected by her, like that. And, like I told you, I had friends who ended up helping my formation. I'm not the best person in the world, but I try to
be a good person. In the same way, there are people who didn't have any family tree and are good people. There are cases and cases, right? Yes, that's the exception. It's an exception. There are exceptions, right? Sometimes you have to mature earlier, right? Like our director here, he matured extremely early, you know? Like Pedro, can you talk, Pedro? I don't know. It's because I'm life, right? I'm life. Man, Pedro at 11 years old, he took a knife and put it to a guy's back and said: "Get out of my house, you're taking my mother's life."
And he was a man of the house. At 11 years old he was a man of the house and played the role of a man. Yes. And then you take it like this, maybe it's very unfair to say that he didn't have a family tree either, because he certainly did. He had grandparents, he had his father who wasn't there, but maybe he was distant, keeping an eye on things, right? That's it. It's not always the father. But I think he has a part of him that he was alone in there. But I understand. I think
there are cases and There are cases and cases, but what goes wrong a lot is the exception to the rule. It's certainly about planting a seed and watching over it. The seed is you, and you will cultivate that seed throughout your life. You will watch over that seed so that it sprouts. That's the formula. So, there won't be much error, unless something happens in the middle of the process, but the tendency is to move forward. And then we see in the last episode, right, of the series "Teenagers," Which for me, the last episode and that
final dialogue is the pinnacle of the series. First, the series doesn't show the boy in the last episode, it doesn't show the trial, and it doesn't show what happened to the story. The series isn't about the boy; the series is about the boy's family. The series is about how teenagers are being educated. The series is about school; it's about everything that's happening. The boy is in the background. And then there's a dialogue between the father and the mother that I find both moving and shocking when the father starts asking the mother where we went wrong.
And then they begin to take stock of the boy's life. Anyway. And then the most shocking thing for me is when the girl walks by and gives him a kiss, says she's leaving, and he says: "How could such a good person come from us?" Look how he reinforces the idea of the fruit. You, a fragile, subjugated woman; me, an aggressive and violent man; our son, a criminal; and this good girl, so bad. How could this fruit come from such a sick tree? So, he reinforces the idea. It's what we were talking about at the beginning.
Oh, there's no formula For raising children. People, the basics exist. I gave the recipe, and I do this a lot. I transform theory into easy ideas or metaphors. Oh, I make cheese bread with pequi, I make cheese bread with sausage, I make seasoned cheese bread. Okay, but the base of cheese bread is just one thing: egg, milk, oil, cheese. The rest is made however you want. There are some basic rules for raising a human being so they can succeed. There are. If there weren't, we'd be lost. We have to stop subjectivizing things. Oh dear, but
every house is different, each one is unique, everyone does things their own way. No, folks, there are things we can't compromise on. Limits, we can't compromise on that. Authority, without being authoritarian, we can't compromise on that. Presence, I'm talking about presence, not time. We can't compromise on that. The analogy is this: you and the algorithm, who knows your child better? Wow, if it's the algorithm, you're losing. The algorithm doesn't know too much, but it knows me even better than I know myself. Idorna [ __ ] that. What 's the idea of the algorithm? The algorithm
maps, learns, learns, learns, learns and Knows what you like, what you do. Let's bring this to the human sciences. Parents have to look at their child and know what's going on. Parents have to have their child's scent memorized. Parents have to see their child arrive at the gate and say: "What's happening, so-and-so? Something's not right." I can see it in your face. That's a parenting algorithm. Uh-huh. Parents who don't have an algorithm with their children have a problem. You don't know what your child likes. You don't know what music they listen to. You don't know
what they eat, you don't know who they associate with, you don't know what they say. Oh, it's hard to find a father today who looks and says, "Sit here, what's wrong?" It's difficult, isn't it? Rodrigão isn't naked. It used to be that way, it really was. Robertinho's mother was like that. I've seen it many times. If you look at yours, you have a son older than you, how old is he? 11. Your 11-year-old son, depending on the day, the way he is, with his back turned, with his head turned towards his stomach, you look at
him, don't you feel it? No, I think so, but... Hmm hmm. It's because I've seen people make a diagnosis like that, Like you said, looking from a distance like that. It's moving, that kind of thing, in relation to how a person can look and say, "Sit here." You also have that condition, you just need to develop the feeling. God is very wise. And now I'm going to use theology. Believe it, whoever wants to believe it, whoever doesn't want to, don't listen to this part. God is very wise. When he gives us a child, he gives
us a... Map. It's inside your heart. You just have to look. Maybe you haven't consulted the map. God wouldn't be insane enough to put a creature in your hand that doesn't talk, doesn't speak, doesn't hear, doesn't walk, doesn't buy things. It's a piece of clay that we received. Do you agree? You leave the maternity ward with a piece of clay. You're going to teach it to eat, to walk, to talk, everything. And God would give you that and not give you any instruction. God puts the map in our hearts. We just have to have the
sensitivity to scrutinize it. I know exactly who Tomás is, I know exactly who Beatriz is. They are absolutely different. What motivates her demotivates him. What causes problems for him with her is that he's all libertarian, modern, and so on. She's super. If something goes wrong, If she's late to take him to school, she'll faint, she'll have a fit, Because she needs everything to be just right. She's on a diet, she makes her meals perfectly. He's a real handful. I know exactly, G. But who taught me? They taught me. The map is right there . I
asked you, your 11-year-old son, if you don't do this, then you should start doing it. Practice looking at your son and asking yourself how he is today? Is he okay? Is he not okay? That's the problem with the series. In episode one, I was shocked. The boy killed someone and the father and mother had no idea what was happening. This series is [ __ ] Even at the end of the series they're going to show that it was fake news and that they really believed the boy. They ask: "Oh, you did this? He was a
good student at school too." It's because they didn't know him. You know exactly what your son is capable of, what he's not. Seriously? If you have your son's algorithm, you know. You know, I know exactly what Tomás can do, what he can't do, what you might say, "Tomás did this," and I'll say, "He really did," That he's capable of it. "Oh, Tomás didn't, I don't know, he didn't do that." I'm sure you'd never be surprised like this, with the police knocking on your door like that. I'm absolutely certain it's Tomás's house, his parents' house. I'm
sure. He might be rude, but he has character. Yes, he might be curt, but he's honest. We talked to a lawyer a while ago, and she told us that, like, one day the Federal Police entered a gated community, knocked on the door of a mansion, and said, "What's going on here?" "Federal Police, we're going to seize the computers." "What's happening here?" A 17-year-old boy involved with a neo-Nazi group . I believe it. Spreading terror on the internet, committing crime after crime. His parents weren't aware of anything. Look at these Discord people over there. You've probably
seen these Discord-related crimes. They kidnap teenagers. And why do teenagers have Discord, people? For example, this friend of mine whose son died because of Discord, she has a social need. It's a social need, but it's not really. Today, if you're in your room with 40 people , and all your friends have Instagram, if you don't, you're excluded. Wow, social need is very strong. Social needs are nutrition, food, sleep. A social need to have Discord? Oh, André, that's also too much. Everyone has WhatsApp, and you're going to be the parent who says, "No, you don't have
WhatsApp, it's all good." But WhatsApp today, WhatsApp today, Discord is the same thing, man. Rodrigão, to begin with, for example, in my office, when I talk to mothers about the risks of Discord, they don't even know what Discord is, they've never even heard of it. Many mothers and fathers don't even know what Facebook, Instagram, or WhatsApp are. Let's start there. Your child has something you don't even know what it is. You don't touch their phone, you don't ask what this is, what this app is. When they're asleep, you don't go to their phone, take it,
go to your bed, hug it, and start snooping around. No, if you don't do that, you're wrong. If you don't do that, you're wrong. Vigilance has to be constant. Vigilance has to be constant. Who's following, who's not, The kid goes to sleep. You go there, grab their phone, get the password, open it, and snoop around until you get sleepy. You see what apps they download, what they're doing. Oh, my son is messing with neo-Nazism. I found out today. Excuse me, but you're a fool. He's been doing this nonsense for years and you're sleeping at home.
You're doing other things and you're neglecting him emotionally. You gave freedom to someone who shouldn't have freedom. You gave the steering wheel to someone who doesn't know how to drive. It's your fault. Oh, I was surprised. You weren't surprised at all. You were negligent. Now you're paying the price for being negligent. What? Nobody gets surprised like that. Only if you're negligent. If you don't check your son's phone, you're wrong. My mouth even trembled with anger here, man. My mouth even trembled with anger here. She 's indignant. I'm indignant. People, one day I lived through such
a crazy situation. Uh huh, the boys, the children. It was a 10-year-old's birthday party in a city I worked in online. A 10-year-old's birthday party in a gated community. They all talked to the mothers, they let the little boys Go to this 10-year-old's party, I don't know what, the little boy's party. The next day, the next day, the party started at noon. The next day, a classmate's mother knocked on the birthday boy's door. "So-and-so, after the party the boys slept over, they had a pajama party." The mother said: "No, I didn't mention on the invitation
that there was going to be a pajama party. Everyone went back home inside a gated community. Wait, but my son didn't arrive, so-and-so. But it's been almost 24 hours since the party was over. You only noticed now. Oh, but I thought you were going to extend it, that you were going to stay here. As a result, the boys went to play at this party on a Sunday, around 7 pm, playing hide-and-seek. Her son opened a chest freezer, opened it, went inside to hide, and closed it. What do you think happened the next day? You're crazy.
[Music] Seriously? And then, what happened? And then the maid went to open the freezer the next day to get things to make lunch. The boy was there, dead, frozen. What's that? Look for that, man. It's impossible, huh? There's one, there's one... Do you know your son's friends? Oh, Dad, I'm going to the pajama party. Do you know how many abuses occur at pajama parties? Oh, I'll give you the numbers. Your son..." He's going to a slumber party. Do you know whose house it is? Do you know who the father is? Did you see a news
report this weekend about a girl whose father threw a slumber party and offered açaí to all the children? The açaí had a sleeping pill in it. All the children fell asleep and were abused. Only one didn't eat the açaí and saw him abusing all the others. Wow, it's in the news. Oh my. Oh, my son is going to a slumber party. Do you know where it is? Do you know what time it starts, what time it ends? You call, I'll talk to the mother. For example, Bia has a boyfriend, I have her mother-in-law's phone number
saved on my phone. So-and-so, Bia said she's coming over, she's going to spend the day at your house, then you're going to Grandma's for lunch. That's right. Yeah, she's not bothering you, because they just started dating, they're 17 years old, they get a little annoyed with each other, right? Oh, André, I think it's so good that you're talking to me about this. You are "That's right, it has to be the two of us. I'm saying, it has to be the two of us, Glaus. She's not bothering us, because She doesn't have any discernment, you know,
Glaus? She's head over heels for Rafael. You'll stay there for her for 48 hours, okay? She's not bothering us. That's true. We're going to my mother's house, then we'll do that. Glaus, if I pick her up or you pick her up, what time does she have to leave? And what if she wants to sleep at Rafael's house? No, for now we'll hold off, right? I'm not a hypocrite. What if she sleeps at her friend's house? And actually she slept at my house. She doesn't sleep at her friend's house because I never let her sleep at
a friend's house, because I have a young woman in my house. That's dangerous. And I didn't set her up. She doesn't sleep. She doesn't sleep at anyone's house. Never. Never has. Because I don't trust her. Tomás already... Tomás rarely... he didn't like it and I never felt bad seeing him either. And there's no pressure like that, Tomás..." Maybe not. But he didn't sleep either, did he? First of all , there's a six-year age difference between the two of them. And secondly, he hardly slept, very rarely. I preferred to bring his friends over when they wanted
to, if they wanted to, rather than leave them. Especially because I have cases in my practice of boys who were abused. So, no, you're not going to sleep at other people's houses, my daughter. There's no need for You to sleep there. Oh, but my friends do sleep there. Well, you're not going to sleep there. I'm not your friends' mother. You don't sleep. You don't sleep. You stay there until midnight, 1 a.m., if you want, I'll pick you up. But you don't sleep. And it's fine at your house. If you want to bring your friends over,
that's fine too. Then you know where you are. Wow, I'd do it with the greatest pleasure in the world. I'd have a barbecue, I'd let them use the pool, I'd be there to take care of things. I'm seeing what's going on. I even make a point of bringing them to my side. Then he went to college at 17, he's going to live somewhere else. That's it. Everything's fine. It's not that everything's fine, it's that I don't control it anymore, right? Control it more. Everything's fine. It's not, is it? But how am I going to control
it now? Because of the distance, wouldn't it have been important to have left it as an experiment a little earlier? What are you going to do with that experience if you have a traumatic one ? No, I don't know. I'm asking because I get really worried about this, you know? Here at home I'm very concerned about this. I'm terrified of creating an experience, Rodrigão. I'm terrified of creating an experience. And this idea of creating an experience being a disastrous one. Uh-huh. I've treated several people who said, "I woke up at night with my friend's father's
hand on my breasts. I woke up at night with my friend's father's hand inside my underwear. That's how you gain experience." "Oh, but wouldn't it be better for him to gain experience?" No, at 18, 19, 20, 21. His brain system is formed, and then he will learn on his own, through maturity. I didn't learn not to use drugs by gaining experience. Well, I learned theoretically that I shouldn't use them. What's this story about needing experience to learn? I'm a bit wary of these things. I preferred to spare my children some experiences. You don't know how
many boys are abused? I have a patient who has a very serious problem with sexual addiction. He would have sex five, even eight times a day. Because the maid abused him from the age of three to ten. The housekeeper . Wow, from three to ten years old he had consecutive sexual experiences. Every day, at whatever time... The employee would arrive, he would say, "I hear you," and one day I even commented, I said, "Can I comment and hide your name?" He said, "Please." I said, "Someday I 'll still comment on this on the podcast, please."
He says, "Andreia, I heard the sound of the gate with her key opening and I was already starting to sweat, thinking it's going to start." She was abusing him. So, it's... it's a moment in this human being's existence. It's a short time, it will be painful for you, but take a break from your life and look at him. I'm only asking you to do this from 12 to 18. I'm not asking you for more. Until 12 you are the hero of his life. You control him, he only goes out with you. Everything is fine. Now
from two to 18 he's living in limbo. Just take a little time out of your life and take care of him. After 18 you go back to living again. But 18 is his legal adulthood. It's not intellectual maturity. He'll still be around 18 to 20, more or less. Still the same lost soul. Yes, but there he starts to have more discernment, right? That's when, welcome to the jungle, right? Welcome to the jungle. There you go to college, you study if you want, there's no mommy, daddy patting you on the head, watching over you, friends betraying
you, So you start to mature on your own. From 18 to 21 is that moment when you let go without letting go, you know? Uh-huh. You let go because now there's not much you can do, but it's a caring attitude, but I'm less fearful from 18 to 21 than before. Now, truly, this is a plea I make to parents, from 12 to 18, please pay attention, because he needs a reference. If it's not you, he'll look for it on the street. So, what if I put him in a sport and he's there training all day?
He doesn't stop there. He creates a concept, I don't know, a better one. You understand? Because you say, for example, one of the fears that I think everyone has is involvement with drugs. You didn't use drugs to learn that you couldn't. And when people, for example, are in sports, it's almost a natural repulsion, it's a natural instinct. One doesn't mesh well with the other. The athlete is generally not the guy who gets involved in that situation. Yes, in general. Yes, it can have a side effect too. I know people who dedicated their whole lives to
sports, you know, professional training, for high performance. And then suddenly one day they got tired of so much activity, like, "I want to live, I want to live." And then in that "I want to live," they tried several things they hadn't tried before, you know? Yes, I also have a friend who is an orthopedist at a leading hospital in Uberlândia, he said: "Andréia, we stopped buying 99% of the plaster casts. You don't use plaster casts in orthopedic hospitals anymore. Hmm, just a splint, what's that? No more broken children arrive. Oh, you don't break anything playing
video games all day. Yeah, you break arms, legs, teeth, noses. It's from playing, climbing trees, playing baseball, playing soccer, training, pushing, right? 99% of the plaster cast purchases. That's over. Wow, that's a real number, huh? You know when a child is little, and your child is difficult, and the teacher says: 'Put him in a sport, it tires him out, that's a fact.' Uh-huh. As much as he needs intellectual development, he needs physical development, it's tiring, it's a lot of energy, lighthearted, but educating takes work and we don't want work. When do you think a person
should Have their first sexual experience? Difficult question, right? When do I think they should have it, it's you as a mother, you as a psychoanalyst, and ideally..." Ideally, it would be when she understands what she's doing and what the consequences are, and if those consequences do arise, if she 's willing to accept them. We're talking about a body full of hormones, right? And we're all a little crazy, right? Because we've been that age. When you're that age, you only think about that. What's the ideal moment? It's when she can accept the consequences . What are
the consequences? I'm talking about the relationship itself, I'm talking about unwanted pregnancy, I'm talking about sexually transmitted diseases. When she understands these three things very well, she's ready to have a sexual relationship. Pregnancy doesn't worry me that much. What worries me are sexually transmitted diseases. Hmm. Brazil is one of the few countries in the world where sexually transmitted diseases don't show a downward trend. They stabilize or sometimes rise. Now, I'm going to give you Some numbers, including from schools where I've done research in Uberlândia and other cities where I 've provided psychological and psychoanalytic consulting.
In schools, there was once a fight at a school where I was consulting, and I went to try to understand what had happened. Two teenagers, a boy and a girl. The girl came into the classroom, and when she arrived, her classmates, the boys, started calling her "hairy mouth." Then the girl slapped the boys, and a fight broke out, and they went to the principal's office. I said, "I want to talk to them." I said, "What's going on?" They called me "hairy mouth," and so on. I said, "What do you mean?" I was quite surprised. "No,
teacher, because, you know, there was a party at so-and-so's house, and that idiot wanted to kiss me afterward because he knew I had gone into the bathroom with someone else." So I said, "What do you mean you're doing that in the bathroom with someone else?" "It's normal, teacher, oral sex." I said, "Well, you gave oral sex to one, left the bathroom, the other wanted to kiss you, have you kissed anyone yet?" "I kissed her." How old are you? 14. I didn't Judge. I said: "Guys, so I need to do some research at this school, understand
what the sex life of these kids is like. Amazing, 14-year-old kids. Boys and girls, 82% already had an active sex life. 80% didn't use condoms and didn't even think about it. The vast majority of girls had anal sex so as not to lose their hymen and their mothers wouldn't find out at some point . In other words, none of the three requirements were met, right? So there's a rule, but this rule isn't... Rodrigão, this is unanimous for me, it's almost the majority in the office. All the teenagers who come in, I'll say, I'll risk saying
98% who come in, do you have an active sex life ? Yes. Do you use condoms? No. 98%. I'm not afraid of pregnancy because after 9 months you stop. My problem is if they get a serious disease. Today, syphilis in Brazil is more of a problem than AIDS." No. Syphilis is an incurable disease that will circulate in your bloodstream. At some point, it can affect your bones, your lymphatic system, and it can end your life. 98% of teenagers don't use condoms. So, do you know what an unwanted pregnancy is? Do you know how sex will
affect that relationship? Do you know how to prevent sexually transmitted diseases? That's very clear, right? No? So now you can have an active sex life. I think that's a big problem in a teenager's life, you know? I'll even take my own life as an example. I had a 12-year-old friend who was already having sex with his housekeeper. And then, like, there were a group of 20 kids. And we'd look at them, and they'd say, "Damn, man, that guy is so privileged." That guy is so privileged. Everyone wanted to be like that, everyone looked up to
see, right? Wow, look at that, man, that guy's already doing it. Everyone really enjoyed it. At 13, I remember there were about four guys in my group who were already having sex too. And these guys were very [ __ ] like that, very [ __ ] And that makes you put pressure on yourself too, like, when is it going to happen to me? Why hasn't it happened yet, right? Will it ever happen? And the more time passes and your first time doesn't happen, the more anxious you get, right? But it's an Anxiety, it's a very
heavy anxiety in a person's life. Then again, the presence of the father and mother to talk about sex with their children. André, when should I start talking? Quickly, quickly, because if you don't talk, someone else will. 11 years old, 12 years old, he's more than ready for you. And it's not like that, just sitting down. Son, today we're going to talk about sex. Daddy brought condoms to introduce you to. No, it's not like that. It's about having an intimacy with your child that's built up over a lifetime, and especially about saying things like, "My son,
at your age, do you know how it was with your dad? Dad was also crazy about girls, always wanting to hook up with someone, I felt terrible being a virgin." Share your experience, create an environment where your child wants to open up. When I talk about the school I worked at, I'm talking about a school with a monthly tuition of R$2,000. I'm not talking about a school in a poor neighborhood. I'm talking about a school where parents paid R$2,000 a month. Once, one of the girls in the class took a pregnancy test at 13, and
everyone in the class started bullying Her, and there were all sorts of issues. The parents didn't want her to fail the year because of the pregnancy, and so on. And I provided emotional support to the girl during that time. Anyway, I asked her, "Daughter, are you dating anyone?" "With the person you got pregnant, I don't know what?" Teacher, to tell you the truth, I don't even know who I got pregnant by. Wow, how is that possible? 13 years old. I said: "How is that possible, my daughter?" "You don't know who you got pregnant by?" Well,
professor, it's because we had a party, and we always have parties, and I'm talking about a school with a monthly fee of R$2,000. So you can imagine the financial level of the people. We always have parties, and sometimes at the party, we play Russian roulette. Do you know what Russian roulette is? Hmm. The one with the revolver. Yes. That one sounds even crazier. The boys sit in various chairs, get excited, get erections, and the girls sit around. And I got pregnant playing Russian roulette, so I don't know who it was by. I said, "At that
party, were you the only one who did that?" No, professor, everyone who was there did, right? Man, I'll tell you, we thought we were very creative. We were too naive. The Old man's childishness. There are a lot of expressions like "hairy mouth" at school. I didn't know what that was. I said, "Guys, what do you mean? What is this, kids?" I had never heard that expression before. Also. There's music, there's a funk song that talks about that. Yeah, back in my day it was "Bola de Fogo" (Fireball). That's me. "Bola de Fogo." That song goes
like this: "Hairy mouth kissed the girl who sucked my whole thing." Sucked the whole crew. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Then I got home scared, my son, who must have been about 15 or 16 at the time, said, "Oh no, Mom. This is way too much." Everyone talks about that at school. We know who's the "hairy mouth" and who isn't. When I asked the girl playing Russian roulette, "Oh no, teacher, I don't have to explain this to you, do I?" I said, "Well, go ahead, daughter, "Because I don't know what that is." That's right. And if
you don't have these conversations, right? The pressure comes, doesn't it? And I think that's one of the heaviest pressures a teenager goes through. And when Cláudia Raia says she gave her daughter a vibrator, a clitoral suction device, I don't know, so that she could understand her own body, understand pleasure, She's heavily criticized, and she's absolutely right. That's a conversation I, as a woman, should be having with my daughter. Daughter, are you sexually active? Yes. Do you feel pleasure? If you don't, you need to get to know your body. Do you want me to help you
in any way? Do you want me to tell you what I did to get to know mine and from then on? How old was Cláudia Raia's daughter? I think when she gave it to her daughter, 14, 15, if I don't say anything, someone will, people. They won't fail to find out. When your daughter asked you that, I I was going to ask you that right then. When your daughter asked you, "Dad, at what age do I enter adolescence?" She's being mischievous. She wants to know, like, when will I have the rights that I see these
kids having? Was that question random? No. That wasn't your question, son. When he asks you something, he already has the answer. Oh my God, I'm not prepared for this. Son, when he asks you something, he already has the answer. He's asking to see if you're going to lie or tell the truth. I'm not prepared. But his daughter, I know her, she's not that smart, she's not that intelligent. Oh, but that question didn't come out of nowhere. His daughter is 7 years ahead of everyone else. Oh, okay. She is [ __ ] When she asks, "Dad,
at what age am I a teenager?" she's saying: "Being a teenager is great." "I'm dying to know how old I'll be then." "Hey André, help me, talk to my kids for me." I talk too much. Well, I can't handle it, man. There are things I'm not prepared for. But what is 'talking about what'? Ah, I can't see my children as teenagers. I look at my daughter and I see a little baby , a little child. Rodrigão, but that's a male problem. This week I sat my husband down, had a conversation with him because he's my
daughter's first, thank you, darling, first serious boyfriend . So my husband was there chatting some nonsense with the boy, butting in, asking questions. I called him into the room and said, "Jorge, come here." He came, and I said, "You need to be aware of something." He said, "About what, my dear?" I said, "Bia is A young woman and now you have a son-in-law?" "Oh, don't even talk to me about that." "Oh, it hurt my heart." I said, "Yes, but you're going to have to listen." She's not your baby anymore. I know she's grown up now.
You're doing some completely irrelevant things. You're asking some irrelevant questions. Unfortunately, my dear, you're going to have to turn the page. He's the man of her life now. Not just anymore. And he's like, oh, no, you can stop, you can even stop with this subject too. It even gives me a pain in my chest. Yes. It was easy for you to push Tomás into the world. You even thought it was cute. Fabi, I see it's difficult for you. You're becoming ridiculous. You're saying some things around her and her boyfriend that are ridiculous. You're asking the
young man questions that are becoming very indiscreet, inappropriate. Remember two things. Your daughter is now a young woman and you now have a son-in-law. And if the son-in-law isn't very nice, there's a way to give advice, but I don't know. No, because, Gadabia, the boy is nice and So, you know the mother, you know everything else. It's like you turn to the boy and say, "Not this one, not this one, I don't want this one." Say it, if you say it, it gets worse, it gets worse. What does she want? And then, how do you
do it? How do you sabotage it? You see, the kid is a pothead, a real pain in the ass. Say it, [ __ ] old man. Rodrigão, she won't, she won't choose a pothead because her father isn't a pothead. The girl will look for someone very similar to her father. I smoked a lot of weed today already. Ah, then it's up to you. No, no, I'm kidding. It wasn't much. It wasn't much. It's a joke, but it's [ __ ] right, Old man? How can forbidding him be worse, right? Because then he'll do it in
secret, right? He'll look for someone similar to him. You talk about all the character traits, for example, sometimes his side being more nervous, his side being more bossy. You'll remember me, you'll remember me someday . One day you'll stop, observe your gender and say: "Damn, how much he looks like me." Then Freud explains: "The girl will reference her father a lot, the boy will reference his mother a lot." Uh-huh. The first, the first man your daughter internalized was you. The girl imagines it as if it were a heart, and she has a place there to
form a shape that she will look for Her future partner. Who is it that goes there and imprints that shape? The father. So it's the father who is the first man who will shape for her what a model of a man is. So she lived with him for some years and she understood that this is a man, because he was the first model of a man, your daughter. So she internalized a mold, let's say it's a heart-shaped mold, I don't know. She internalized a mold, who is she going to put there? Whoever fits that mold.
She's going to look for someone very similar to her father to confirm this story. And the boy is going to look for someone very similar to his mother. Or the only possibility that can occur is that she goes to the other extreme and looks for someone very different. Different. But that's rare. In general, you'll remember me when you have a son-in-law and the boy looks for someone similar to his mother. To his mother. Seriously? My daughter-in-law even has my flaws. Even my tantrums. My daughter-in-law is studying psychology. And that's it. I'm terrified of cockroaches. If
a cockroach appears here, I'll break this whole studio. She makes you laugh. She's obsessed with cockroaches, even in the details. And being too similar to your mother-in-law doesn't Create conflict? No. With me, it's both of us. It's you, you're the brains, right? You can already analyze, you've already seen everything that's happening. They say two stubborn people don't kiss, right? Yeah, two stubborn people don't peck. Ah, but we need to be mature. The person is entering your son's life, she's not entering for me, she's entering for him. He's the important one, right? Not me. A mother-in-law
who throws tantrums and nags her daughter-in-law lacks maturity, lacks judgment. Mother-in-law, mother-in-law is always meddling. Mother-in-law is more meddling than father-in-law. Did you see that show, "Vacation with the Mother-in-Law"? Did you see that? It's crazy. Usually the father-in-law becomes friends with the son-in-law and daughter-in-law, it's the mother-in-law who causes problems. No, but why does the mother-in-law cause problems? Because she still thinks she's the woman of his life. Uh-huh. And then she thinks the other woman won't do for him what she does in the way she does. She won't. She hasn't understood that she's not the
woman of his life anymore. Now the woman of his life is her. She's gone now. But where does the problem arise? Why doesn't it cause problems at home? Because I've already understood my place. I'm going to keep running After Giovana. No, because if I run, I'll lose. She's younger, right? She is. No. And if I run, I'll lose. You're crazy. What she does for him every day, I don't do. So, my love, sorry, but it's impossible to compete. Uh, poor me. So, I have to understand my place. Now, what causes problems with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?
It's because the mother-in-law looks at Nora and keeps comparing herself all the time. She doesn't understand that the woman of his life is now the other woman. Her role as the woman of his life is over. It only mattered up to this point. He cared about what you thought, about your opinions. Now he doesn't care anymore. Now he cares about hers. Find your place, otherwise you're going to be screwed. I think my wife is going to be a difficult mother-in-law for [ __ ] I think she's going to interfere a lot in my life. Yes,
but she's going to be fun, man. She's going to be fun. Poor daughters-in-law. Sleeps cuddled up. Sleeps cuddled up with the boys. With all three of them. Sleeps cuddled up. There are three boys. Two boys and a girl. No, no, no, no, no, it didn't break. Yeah, but Amanda won't be so dependent on her. Amanda, on her own, is already... No, Amanda, Amanda, my daughter, is a Concern, because since she was little she... she, on her own, she's already... she's a street kid, she's a street kid, you know? She Any opportunity she gets to leave
the house, she takes it. Any 9 years, any 10, any opportunity. Oh, my mother-in-law came here, Grandma, I want to go to your house. And she goes. Oh, my mother-in-law came, I want to go to your house. I'm going out, Dad. I want to go with you. She with you. Renata is going out. I want to go with you. No, she's so clingy with me, isn't she? Is she more attached to you or to her mother? To her mother. Oh, she's like that with her mother, yes, I see Renata's relationship with her as very similar
to Renata's relationship with her mother. Very similar, like, it's a replica and it's a chaotic relationship too because Renata is at odds with her mother 24 hours a day and she's at odds with her daughter 24 hours a day too. Yes, in fact they are reproducing, right? What Renata is totally reproducing. Freud explains it totally. She's, she's gone back to the process she didn't resolve with her mother, she 's trying to resolve it with her daughter. Yeah, everyone should do that with you. She's not very attached. Oh, I wish she were more like that, you
know? So, do your part. Yeah, Do your part. Everything you'd like a man to treat you with. Yes. No, I do that. But be affectionate on her birthday, take her out to dinner alone, just the two of you. That'll cause a fight. That'll cause a fight. Why? Not him, I know. The rule here is this: he can even, I don't know, have another person in his life, but if he goes out to dinner and doesn't take his wife, then there's a fight. The rule here is clear. But you can't go out alone with your daughter,
or with her father and brother. And you can't, you can't. Robertinho's joke. Dinner there is a no-no. It's because... Oh, okay. No, I thought it had changed. I thought it had changed. Couple. Before we were a couple, I argued with Renata because this food thing here at home is catching on, you know? Ah, you went to a restaurant, you have to take her, you have to go along, you know? Especially if it's Japanese food. So before I got married, I took my boyfriend and I to eat Japanese food at a restaurant we liked. She saw
me eating there, she called: "Where are you?" I'm here at the Japanese restaurant. But no, I'm not going to leave you, but I'm here With your father. That's no problem. And we stayed together for a long time. Even though you were dating your father. That's right. Dating her father. Her father. Yes, her father. She was with her father-in-law. Then she came back, came back to get married like that, you know? Just that. But I think it was a little trick too, you know? That she played. Yeah, but do your part with your daughter. If you
don't want her future boyfriend to yell at her, don't yell at her. If you don't want him to be rude, don't be rude. If you want him to be polite, be polite. Women's Day, you give flowers to your daughter. Birthday. Hugs. Flowers, what kind of man do you think she'll look for? Be for her what you want her to look for in the future. Is it possible to change your temperament for that? Because 90% of the time, no, actually, we are what we are anyway. It's not that it's difficult. You have an obligation. Nobody asked
you to have a child. You chose it. Now you need to have an obligation and embrace the consequences. You need to embrace the consequences of your decision. You have an obligation, you have a daughter. She will look for a role model very similar to you . Oh, I don't want to keep watching, but with her you will watch like that. You're going to leave here now, from today on, you're going to start making that effort. Are you going to take her out to dinner? Are you going to send flowers on Women's Day? Oh, but she's
only six years old, it's no problem. Send them to school anyway . Or you'll pick her up with a flowerpot, call her princess, tell her she's beautiful, tell her she's wonderful, say: "Look, don't let her treat you like that. If she's going to lift something heavy, don't let her. Say: 'No, you have your daddy here, your brothers. Are you crazy? You're the little lady here, look at all the men here to carry things for you.' No way, my daughter. Do you know what she'll be in the future? The kind of person the men around her
will have to do for her, because she's the weakest part, in the best sense. Muscularly speaking, in the relationship. Then later on you'll suffer and say: "Oh, my son-in-law treats her like that." Either way. "My genre is a horse, my son-in-law." But he's the spitting image of what you were. You replied there, right? Sorry. One day Beatriz went on a trip with a suitor, 10 minutes later She called: "Dad, I already asked his dad to stop the car, can you come pick me up on the highway?" I said: "Guys, what happened?" In the morning, Jorge
doesn't make it difficult. I'm going, my daughter. Are you going somewhere? He says: "It can be any time, 3 o'clock, 2 o'clock, 1 o'clock, daddy will pick you up." She doesn't come back by Uber, she doesn't come back in anyone's car, I don't know if the person has been drinking. Daddy picks you up. Oh, is it comfortable? No, right? No, guys. On weekends we don't even sleep properly. Especially at this stage she's in, she wants to go out all the time. Guys, but she didn't ask to be born, right? Now I need to support her,
right? Let's go pick her up. He picked her up on the highway, and at 6 in the morning he came back. I said: "Bia, what happened?" It happened, mom, what time did the So-and-so came to pick me up here at the door, he didn't get out to get my suitcase. He didn't put my suitcase in the trunk. I put it there myself. I got into the most cramped car. When we travel with my father, my father, Giovana is my daughter-in-law. My father doesn't let Giovana get the suitcase. We stop at Giovana's house. My father gets
out, but Tomás gets the suitcase, opens the trunk, puts the suitcase inside, Finds a comfortable place in the car for Giovana. Why should I accept being treated this way? And I even told him, you're not treating me well, because I don't see my father treating my sister-in-law this way. You can take me home, I'm not spending the weekend with you at any ranch. No, no. Oh my God. I'm screwed with this episode. You're not, you need to change. I'm going to be held accountable for [ __ ] I hope you are. Yes, yes, yes. I'm
not going to ask Arthur to do it. The cuts, right? [Laughs] Hey, I was going to ask you something about the series, in episode three, when the boy talks to the psychologist, when she finishes his diagnosis, she gets all worked up, you know? It seems like it was a weight, she absorbed all of that. Does that happen to you too? Why do you think she reacted that way? In my opinion, it was because she got involved with the boy. Yeah, in my opinion it was hard for her to discover all that, right? And she reacted
that way because the kid, you saw that the whole time she was trying to diagnose him, right? Why does she only react that way at the end? Because at the end she reached the Conclusion of the diagnosis. He was a psychopath, and it's extremely difficult to treat a psychopath. It's shocking to treat a psychopath. Because a psychopath knows what's right and wrong. He just doesn't feel it. There's a big difference between a psychopath and a narcissist. Every psychopath is a narcissist, but not every narcissist is a psychopath. What differentiates them most? Narcissist versus psychopath? The
narcissist wants approval, wants the spotlight. The psychopath wants power. That third episode, which is practically just her and the boy, is terrifying. Even we get involved if we get involved, because of his violent outbursts, his manipulative skills, the way he phrases things, the way he conducted the session—she ended the session certain she was dealing with a psychopath. And it's incredibly difficult to treat and deal with psychopaths, especially a 13-year-old, right? Have you ever diagnosed a psychopath like that? Has it ever happened to you? You can tell me, you can. One day I'll tell you. Stories
from your sessions are the best. And these are stories that are allowed to be told, otherwise I wouldn't be doing this. I Treated a psychopath once; it was a report for the court. He killed his mother, decapitated her, and performed oral sex on her head. Oh, he's a psychopath. But this after a... What? Yes, what do you mean? After something... So, there's a question? What is the report? What is it for, what is its importance? The judge wanted to know if he was a psychopath or if he was mentally ill, schizophrenic, or psychotic. If he
is mentally ill, he goes to a psychiatric hospital for the mentally ill, which is much more peaceful. Uh-huh. Much more peaceful, with many rules. Otherwise, if he is a psychopath, he goes to prison. He's going to a regular prison, and then things get more complicated, right? So the judge wanted a report to determine if he had a mental illness or if he was a psychopath. Obviously, he kept pushing for a mental illness diagnosis. To begin with, I scheduled him at my office. His appointment was scheduled for noon. I arrived at the office at 15 minutes
to noon, he was already seated. I arrived, he introduced himself, I went through the waiting room, He introduced himself, everything alright? I don't know what, I have an appointment with you, etc., everything's fine, everything. Ah, uh, then I said: "No, I'll go into the office in a little while, I'll call you in a moment." He said: "Look, I have some free time, uh, don't rush to see me. If you want, you can have lunch first." Then I cut him off, I said: "No, I'll call you in a moment, you'll be called at your appointment time."
He said, "Oh, if I were you, I'd have lunch first. Order that salad from that place you order from every day. Had you researched my life? I'd never posted a picture of the place where I order my salad." He was already trying to coerce me. Notice in episode three how much the boy tries to coerce her the whole time? Yes. His first form of coercion is saying, "Give me a sandwich." I love sandwiches. Wow, that sandwich you make is delicious. Have lunch. Ma'am, you usually order salad from that place, have lunch. I'm not in a
hurry. Well dressed. Then I called him over, he sat down, he said, "Ma'am, you're a psychoanalyst, right? I took advantage of the time I was in prison to do psychoanalysis, I did psychoanalysis properly. In fact, I wrote the entire file of my case. And if you want me to explain why I committed the crime, why I did what I did, it has to do with a complex from my past; my mother was very complicated. It has to do with..." Seeing desire is also important. From a very young age, my mother would touch my body. Then,
as I grew up, she had plastic surgery, and she wouldn't let anyone bathe her. She got silicone implants, and I was the one who had to bathe her, I was the one who had to touch her breasts, wash her, bathe her. That's where my desire was born, a drive-based desire, the kind we studied in psychoanalysis, right? You are [ __ ] Psychopath, he doesn't have a particularly high IQ, but he certainly manipulates intelligently. Isn't that right? His neocortex functions at a different speed than other people's. Extremely cold, like that boy. That boy's coldness is impressive.
In the first episodes, he seems like a fragile person because he adapts to what he thinks he needs. My father doesn't know, nobody knows. Then he adapts. He's fragile. After the psychologist, he explodes, he curses, he tries to coerce her Even physically, he kicks the chair. Okay. So why is it so difficult to diagnose a psychopath? It's not difficult to diagnose. No It's not difficult at all. I saw it in the case of Suzane von Röding; she went through several professionals, she has to take the Rorschach test, she has to. It's not difficult at all.
The signs of psychopathy are so, so clear, sometimes we insist on not wanting to believe it because it's a serious diagnosis. Once I treated a person, this person was a public security officer. The psychiatrist—imagine a police officer, something in that limbo— the psychiatrist referred him. Generally, psychopaths don't go to therapy, but the psychiatrist talked to him and said, "Look, outside of therapy, you're a runaway train." So, if you want to control your issues, I recommend you go to therapy, and I recommend you go with so-and-so, who is the person I think will be able to
handle you. He arrived first on a gigantic motorcycle making noise at my office door. Then someone arrived, I don't know what, so-and-so recommended me to so-and-so, I'm a police officer, etc. So. And I have a diagnosis, here's the diagnosis Of psychopathy. Outside of therapy I become very out of control, I cause a lot of problems, I don't know what to do, and I wanted to do therapy with you. Wait a minute, just a second. There's something bothering me here. Ma'am, would you mind if I took it away? She took out a pistol, put it on
the sofa this big next to her, everything. Heart. There's confidentiality here, right? There's ethics, there's no problem, right? The things I'm talking to you about, I said: "No, there's no problem, not even insult, right?" You can say: "No, but is yours courageous?" "What's wrong with you?" Because it's really intimidating. That's why she freaked out. He used to tell me, "André, I'm going to a nightclub because then the atmosphere becomes less hostile, because initially they try to intimidate you." Do you remember in the movie that later he became more relaxed with the woman because he saw
that she didn't give in? Yes, initially they try to intimidate you. Then, since he had a goal in therapy, which was to become calmer, he became more relaxed with me. And then he would tell me, he would say: "André, I'm going to a nightclub, I'll choose the girl I want to be with." Then I look at her at the table, then I start to map her out. I See that she's with four friends, all four are single. Then I look at the drink she ordered. From the drink I've already mapped out her personality more or
less. I see how many drinks she's had. I go to the bathroom several times, I go behind the table, I see what they're talking about. When I make my move, I already know who she is, what she needs, the Her level of neediness, the level of alcoholism she's already at. Like, man, the park was there, he says: "Yeah, it's a goal." He says: "I choose, I go to a bar, I choose that woman, I'm going to stay." And I start mapping her out in an hour. I said, one day I passed by her to go
to the bathroom. Every time I passed by to go to the bathroom, I heard her saying: "Oh, because I don't know what, my dad. Oh, because I don't know what." He said: "In moments of neediness, I'm paternal." He would say: "Then I create the character, I am exactly that person, I am a gentleman. I say: "What do you want to drink?" She'll call the waiter. I said, "No, what's this? I'm here, waiter, please. What does the lady need?" I said, "I am what she needs. Oh, she needs a bad boy. I Realize she's more uninhibited.
She wants a more mischievous guy, more [...] And I'm the bad boy. I'll do whatever I need to do at night to get the person I've chosen. Multifaceted. This guy who decapitated his mother, performed oral sex on his mother. A very heavy session with his mother's head, right? A super heavy session. Then at the end, I said, the session is over, he stood up. Pleasure, doctor. It was a pleasure talking to you. Extremely intelligent woman. I said, "Thank you very much." He turned his back to leave, grabbed the doorknob and turned back, looked at me
and said, "Madam, you know that my life is in your hands, right?" " Depending on the report you give." Should I say no or not, man? Do you think he could come after you? Worse than saying that is if he says, "Wow, you remind me so much of my mother." Well, are you crazy? I'll tell the guy, then it's over. But you know what the problem is? Only 3% of psychopaths commit crimes. 97% won't commit crimes. Seriously? Yes. Yes. 97% don't kill the body. The body. They don't kill the body because they'll kill some part
of you, your soul, some kind of misfortune, they'll cause it. You don't get away unscathed by a psychopath, you don't come out unscathed, they'll destroy something . Whether it's your life, your financial life, your emotions, your relationships, whatever , because in jury trials there's also a difficulty, there's a concern with this diagnosis, even because of, I think, the imputability, there's no pity for the psychopath. It's the psychopath, in That's true, because psychopaths are very difficult to deal with. Science is still studying someone who speaks brilliantly about this, Dr. Ana Beatriz, who is even dying to
talk to [someone]. It will happen, God willing, soon. Yes, it's very difficult because it's a very serious diagnosis. It's very difficult to give this diagnosis to someone because they have so many things. There's a discussion in science about whether it's a flaw in the system, whether it's a missing part. So it's a very serious diagnosis. So mental health professionals... it's not a difficulty. The criteria for making such a diagnosis are high because it's an extremely serious diagnosis. The psychopath is extremely cold and has an extremely cold narrative, which is why it's not very difficult to
diagnose them. The psychopath knows what they want, when they want it, and how they want it. And they will achieve it. Because when they commit a crime, if I'm not mistaken, they can't even be sent to a regular prison, right? Like in Champinha's case, Champinha didn't go to prison, he's still in prison today, right? After being diagnosed, the psychopath craves power. I said, the narcissist wants approval, the psychopath wants power, even if it means doing horrific things. Yes. Look at the psychopaths we've talked about here. We remember them all, but we don't remember the victim.
What are the names of the people Champinha killed? It's Café. Wasn't it what? It was, it was Champinha's Café. It was Café. See? Last name Café. Oh, okay. But who stood out in the case? Oh, for sure. Yes. But it is, it's because cruel crimes will always be talked about. But look how wicked the psychopath is, that even to do wrong he does it to the point of Having the power and not the victim. Suzane Von Ristofen will be remembered for eternity. Nobody knows her parents' names. When you see Eli Matsunaga's father being a maniac,
you don't remember the victims' names, they rarely commit crimes, but when they do, they commit a crime of such relevance and in such a heinous way that they will be remembered for eternity. Although Eliseas says she's not a psychopath, right? In her case, the narcissist is more difficult to diagnose. No, neither is difficult. Neither. I don't say easy, but it requires investigation. Funny. It's because people suffer their whole lives at the hands of a narcissist and only when the person is [ __ ] in life do they discover that they lived with the narcissist. And
if she had the easy diagnosis, the path she would have to take was to leave that person's life. That's because until you live with a narcissist, you don't know they're a narcissist. So there's no way to diagnose them beforehand. But do you agree? Like, you live with a narcissist, it's a construct. If you live with one, the right thing to Do after the diagnosis is to distance yourself from that person's life. Even if you're a parent. I say this: with narcissists and psychopaths, if you find out and have the chance, run, because if they have
3 minutes, they'll take you down again. 3 minutes. That's a scientific number. If you sit down with a psychopath and they have 3 minutes, they'll manipulate you again, you'll fall into their web again. And we're tired of seeing children who suffered at the hands of narcissistic parents, right? An extremely toxic relationship that caused irreversible mental damage in that person's life, right? And it took years for them to find out. Because it's so difficult to diagnose ordinary people, right? Ordinary people, in a relationship with a narcissist. The narcissist's inner pain is abandonment. Every narcissist suffered emotional
abandonment in childhood. Not literal physical abandonment , but emotional abandonment, by a father or mother, or authority figures. Because they suffered, and this is their inner pain, they don't want to be abandoned or rejected again. They will do everything to prevent you from realizing they are a narcissist and to prevent you from rejecting them, Because their inner pain is rejection. They don't want to be rejected again. If they are rejected, they will try to win you back so you will reject them, thus justifying their inner pain. Every narcissist, when you distance yourself from them, will
do everything to have you back, because then they dismiss you, because then the inner pain no longer exists. I was the one who dismissed them, not them. But the psychopath can be much worse than the narcissist, because the narcissist is still worried about what you think of him. Uh-huh. Oh, does he like me? Has he already ruined my game? Does he think I'm not as saintly as I say I am? He still worries. The psychopath isn't worried about what you think of him. If you think he's cold, if you think he's dishonest, that's your problem.
He's not concerned. I'm worried about your opinion of him. The narcissist is very much so. So he's terrified that you might think that I, Andreia, am not all that I am. So I get worried. No, but what if one day Rodrigão finds out that I'm not all that? So he brings this fear so as Not to be rejected. The psychopath, Rodrigão, will take me where I want to go with him. What he thinks about me is his problem. Screw him. The day he's no longer interesting, I'll discard him and life goes on. So I keep
wondering, am I a narcissist? Hmm. Everyone has narcissistic traits. Saying I'm a narcissist is very heavy. From what little I know of you, I find it very difficult to be a narcissist. Is it? I think so. There was a time when we did an episode with the psychoanalyst, right? And we spent 3 hours talking about narcissism, right? And then my wife saw it and she took it and sent it to her mother like this, you know? She said: "Look here, Mom, are you sure, Rodrigo is a narcissist?" I'm sure. We were kind of fighting, you
know? And this conversation came up about narcissism. Do you think that your boys, for example, that you have one boy who is more intelligent, nicer, more handsome than the others? No, they are all beautiful, wonderful, nice. You have them, you treat them equally, or you have one that you treat like gold and the other is a scapegoat. Ah, I don't know if that's a rule either. Every case of a narcissist like that, if they end up responding: "No, no, my children are all the same." But saying they are all the same is hypocrisy. Nobody treats
all their children the same. It's a lie. They're lying. You can tell when someone is lying. Do you treat them all the same? Never. No, I didn't say I treat them all the same. I said it, he said it twice. You said, "I didn't say they're all the same, that's how they are." They're not, they're not. They're totally different. That's another myth. You're trying to manipulate us. I'm trying to do something . That's another myth. I treat all my children the same. That's a lie. You treat them differently. You treat them according to your affinity.
There are children we have much more affinity with than others. Well, no. I said "equal," you can love them equally. My love for them is equal. Like that. You love them equally, but treating them equally doesn't make sense. You say I love one more. But you must have more affinity with one. Yes. Okay, maybe at different times, but my love for all three is the same. I can't say: "Oh, I love the little one more than I love the big one." Oh, I love the oldest more Than I love Amanda. I love all three. Can
you even say which one you love less? Which one? There isn't one, man. That's your thing, man. You were the one making those silly jokes. You, who always said, "Oh, there's one I love more, there's one I like more." Or you'd say, "Oh, one is prettier, the other is uglier." Robertinho, Robertinho always made that joke, look. He always did. No, he didn't. There was one who was prettier, one who was uglier with his children. With his children. Look, even Pedro agrees. It didn't work, Pedro. Oh, one was prettier, the other was uglier. Last week he
was saying it all the time. But are you talking about his children or your children? His? His. His children. Robertinho's children. He talks about his own children. Umm. Which of your children? All of them. I talk about all of them. Which of your children is prettier? It'll be recorded here. I don't tell them. I don't tell them. I'm not going to tell others. I tell them. Of course. I know. It's physical. No, you're realistic. Wow. Yeah. Well. It's simple. Now I'm going to say here, oh, this is the nice hotel. No, I won't, because they'll
See this at some point in their lives. And I've never told them, but no. At home too. I know who's prettier, who's uglier, it's obvious. I know, I know who it is. I can't, man. I can't. I can't. It's not hypocrisy at all. People, there are aesthetic standards. Oh, you're going to say that you think all the boys are twins. The boys are twins. Oh, okay. No, it's not even because of that. Yeah, all three are handsome, but sometimes yours are all handsome, you There aren't any ugly ones. Wow, congratulations. That's good. It's possible. Yeah,
uh, could that be why? Well, maybe, wow. Ah, but yes, I think it's the look, but a father's look, no. A father's look, he sees beauty. Yes, yes, yes. His boys are handsome. All three are handsome, especially because they look alike. Uh, that's why you don't think any are ugly. This one is really handsome. No, his are handsome. Mine too, but one is more than just a little bit like me. You think they don't know that? That you think one is more handsome? Oh, no. I don't think so. Well, until now they didn't know, right?
Until now they didn't know. They don't listen to podcasts. They're younger. They can't watch podcasts, for example. Not yet. Oh, really? Oh, that's great. When they're healthy enough to find out, they'll say: "Wow, which one will it be?" My father thought it was, right? I'm very proud to be doing the podcast because of that, you know? Like, I think that when I'm really old, or maybe not even here anymore, it'll be a chance for them to watch this. A legacy. But I also think, I think they'll watch it and won't be interested in anything that
happened here. You have low self-esteem, right? No, it's not low self-esteem like that. Isn't it too high self-esteem? Not admiring anything you do, the things you've done. No, I admire [ __ ] Do you think they'll watch it in the future and not be interested? Ah, because maybe times will be different, maybe they won't be, like, I won't be interested in podcasts, I don't know, they won't be, but they'll be interested in their father's videos, not necessarily podcasts. I was super interested in television. Today they're not interested in television, right? So, maybe, ah, today, because
of the paternal reference, they'll be interested because their father is there, not because of the podcast, right? Yeah, It would be really cool if they were interested. He used to say I was handsome there. It would be cool if they were interested in the story. I think Robertinho is a psychopath, he's capable of saying one person is beautiful, another is ugly, and he doesn't suffer for it. Yeah, I'm kidding, right? Maybe, maybe. I have, I have some wicked tendencies like that. How did you like to talk? Questions we can ask, there are tests, experiences, observation,
behaviors, but basic questions like that, there are some that maybe we can ask Albertinho here to see what he would answer. Basic, no. Let's try to diagnose Robert. United States Harvard. I don't like it. Because the psychopath has a problem with empathy, he's not an empath. He doesn't feel, yes. Yes, he can't. And the empathy occurs through empathy. If I yawn right now, you'll be yawning soon. He will too. Have you noticed that? It's true. Even the fetus, right? Yawning is an act of imitation. Hmm. One of the things a psychopath doesn't do, even if
there are 200 people yawning around him. This is research from Harvard, even if there are 200 people yawning around him. A study was done with 100 psychopaths. He doesn't yawn, he has no empathy for anyone. If I've just yawned and someone yawns, I yawn again. You know that yawning? It's an act of imitation. Yes. Your brain. Because, actually, when I yawn, it's my brain telling me about the need for oxygenation. And look, just by talking, I feel like yawning. I had my feeling. My brain is telling me about the need for relaxation and oxygenation of
the brain. So I yawn. Ah, so when I do that, your brain understands too. Ah, that's right. So I need it too. And so it goes, and so it goes, and so it goes. So, let's admit it. In general, nine out of ten psychopaths don't yawn when someone yawns nearby. There was, there was a time when we traveled with Father Fábio, we went to São Paulo with Father Fábio, right? And then we came back in the early morning and everyone was sleeping in the car and we were talking, right? And then I started telling Father
Fábio about my life, right? And Robertinho and Pedro were in the back of the car. I told him things I had never told him before, like, I told him about bread, uh, I did, uh, it wasn't even a confession, I was treating Him more like a therapist at that moment than like a priest, like, I didn't want to, I wanted to save time, Well, I didn't want the priest to say, "Okay, your sins are absolved." I didn't want absolution from him, you know? But I told him to see what he thought. Robertinho and Pedro were
sleeping in the back. At one point they woke up and they were embarrassed, like, "[...] man, this guy's life is tough. This guy's life is tough." I told them some things, you know? I kept telling them, telling them, telling them. In the end, the priest turned and said, "Look, the most normal person in your house is your mother." And like, the way I was telling him, my mother was the villain. My mother was the villain, and the priest said, "The most normal person in your house is your mother." I said, "Damn, man, that was the
first time someone said that to me." And have you stopped to reflect on that? Well, I reflected on it a bit, because the priest is sensible in some of his positions. Did what he said make sense? Man, if it does, it's crazy. If it does, it's crazy. If it makes sense like that, then he's coming to a conclusion that I think doesn't make Much sense. I think he was, I think he was joking around, but yeah, because he came to the conclusion that your mother is the healthiest person because she left. No, I think because
of the things he said, you know, that she spoke some truths, some things like that, he took it and said: "Wow, your mother is the most sensible person in your house and everyone, like, for us, my mother is the crazy one, right? My mother takes some medication, and so on." So, she's the crazy one, right? Maybe she takes medication to cope with the reality around her. So, and then the priest said: "The most sensible person in your house is your mother, right?" And that was crazy too, because I developed a dependency on Father Fábio, having
to talk to him and tell him things, you know? It's because it made you feel good, right? You gave vent to your impulses. Yeah, you got a break, your ear was good. To the point of becoming agonizing, right? We had to give him advice, we got into a fight, right? And then I 'd say, "Damn it, man, I can't be in a fight with a priest. I have to tell him things, man." To the point that I went after him several times, giving him time , you know? "Hey, Father, I'm going to talk to him,
I'm going to talk to him until he said, 'No, okay, we 're good.'" Then when he said, "No, we're good," I said, "Phew, that's what happens a lot with patients." Sometimes the patient develops a dependence on the therapist because they've never felt so heard before, right? So, that's the point I want to make. Because this dependence can be frightening at some point, right? Frightening for whom? For the therapist, the psychoanalyst. But then we learn a technique called countertransference. It's normal for the patient to transfer, but I need to countertransfer. If I stay in the transference,
I get sick. So you transfer your neediness to me. You love being listened to by Andreia. I feel that need, I feel that dependence. I get anxious when I'm not doing well with Andreia. I, as Andreia, need to identify this in you during the session and countertransfer, give it back to you. If I don't do that, I get sick. That's why psychoanalysts do supervision with other psychoanalysts, because they have to learn to countertransfer. So, for example, a patient, I don't know, in some situation, because of something they're going through, they develop a sexual desire for
me. Sen doesn't have to scare me, but I need to countertransfer it. So he transfers a desire that should be for the woman, for the people around him, partners, in short, he transfers that desire to me. This is very symbolic for me. It's not meant to scare me, but I need to give it back. So let's suppose that were you. In a session, you say that you desire me for some reason. I would need to absorb that and bring it back to you. Rodrigo, I need to understand what kind of perception you have regarding your
desire. Because with me, what do I represent to you, this figure of authority, this figure of wisdom? Why did you develop this desire? For me, what kind of woman have you had experiences with during your life? What What kind of woman are you looking for? What kind of neediness is developing? You see how I used the fact? I turned it back on you? Uh-huh. If I don't do that, I get sick. But do you get sick? I get sick because then one of two things happens. Either I go home thinking, wow, what happened? What did
I do? Why Is this patient desiring me? At what point in the session did I create this in him, I don't know what, I don't know what, or I confuse this story, I start to get caught up in it. Yes, it's a choice. So, when the patient transfers, I need to engage. And then it happens in the most diverse aspects. Once I had to cancel a session and then the patient freaked out. Then in another one, and then I noticed the freak-out. Look at the transference, look at the dependence, his wife sent me a message
saying, "Wow, André, so-and-so was super upset that you canceled. Don't do that again, I don't know what, I don't know what." Look at the dependence. During the session, I brought this up with him again, saying, "Look, I understand, I rescheduled due to a health issue I was going through, but I realized you were very upset. What happened? Here's what I'm bringing back to you." And then he said: "André, it turns out I've already been abandoned by several therapists. I think my case is very complex, and I thought you would be just another person to abandon
me. Look at the word abandonment. So what do I do if I don't hire you? Oh my god, really? I shouldn't have canceled. Oh my god, The patient needs me so much. Oh my god, I'm terrible. Why do I cancel? I had to manage. Or maybe I don't think I'm great, but I'm really awesome. The guy is dependent on me. I have to create that. A dependency in the patients, I don't know what. Wow. It gives you a bad feeling afterwards, right? It's going to start. Whenever the patient transfers, I have to give back and
counter-transfer, otherwise I get sick. Oh my god, I get into a mess. Is it just my impression, or is it very common for the patient to feel some kind of attraction to you? It's very common. It's very common because you are the authority figure. It reminds them of the teacher, the policeman, the doctor, the nurse. Because You have to give that back, because it's not about you. If you get into that, you'll get hurt. The patient isn't desiring André Vermon, he's desiring that figure of power. Uh-huh. Maybe the day I stop being his therapist, get
involved with him, become his girlfriend, he'll lose the desire. And are there cases that are more complex for you? There are cases that are extremely complex, especially with narcissists, with psychopaths. Once I Was seeing a girl, who is also the child of pastors. Children generally respond to each other through drawings. Children show a lot in their drawings. They're there drawing this, that, that. I'm dying to show you when the drawing is finished. I said: "Oh, that's cool." That. She finished the drawing. She drew a little doll holding another little doll all bloody, all bruised, that.
Then I said, then I looked at the drawing and said: "What is this?" She said: "That doll with the knife in her hand is me and that doll is everything." "You're the one who's screwed." Wow, man. Right next to her desk was a bronze statue I had in my office. It was a child who was already psychotic, a child in a psychotic episode. So it wasn't a normal child, it was a child who came with psychopathology. The moment she made that drawing, I got extremely scared. I said, "If that girl reaches that bronze statue and
hits me on the head, I won't even have time to scream." These are situations that happen in the office. Do you do sequential treatment for this, Andre? How do You proceed with this? That day, and I have no difficulty talking about this, about my weaknesses, because I am a human being. That day it was difficult to get through to the end of the session. I was very afraid she would have a psychotic episode in the office. And you, going back to another session, you turn around? No, then I... I transferred, I referred her to another
person because I no longer had the emotional capacity to deal with her. There, I became very involved with the story, and I no longer had the emotional capacity to... There are limits. Limits exist. But it is... Okay, so we're talking about the series again now. I even brought that up. Bianca, my wife, she finished the series desperately, crying uncontrollably, you know? It was very impactful for her. She suffered a lot. And at the beginning I was also very upset because it's heavy, I don't know if it was just because of that, but because I kind
of got involved because I thought the main actor, the boy, physically reminded me a lot of my son. And when he got nervous, when he was arrested, he had that very fragile posture, like when the police looked back, he Would quickly look to see who was passing by, what was happening there. My son, when he's nervous, he's very worried, which is what I told you, that he's very worried, very responsible about everything. Whenever he's very nervous, he pays attention to everything that's happening. And it was very much like him, you know, that kind of thing,
you know? He looks, sees, and pretends not to notice, like, I don't see. Yeah, I'm not seeing it. And so, you know, I started this series carrying this extra burden, because the series is already very heavy. When you identify with more things, in my case, you know it was a similarity, wow, very similar to my son. True. Ah, neuroscience explains it. We have a neuron in our brain called a mirror neuron. The name is exactly what it does. It mirrors sensations and emotions when we experience similar situations. So, for example, I have a 17-year-old daughter,
I'm driving on the highway, I see an accident, I see a girl lying on the ground. I get all worked up, wanting to cry. Wow, it reminded me of Bia, something bad that I don't know what. There's my mirror neuron, then adrenaline, Cortisol, the urge to cry, tightness in my chest, lack of oxygen in the brain. My, my, my head doesn't think straight. I study the mirror neuron. It mirrored, it mirrors good things and bad things, but they generate something similar. So, that's what happened to you. Your mirror neuron lit up when you saw the
boy because you saw many similar features. I'll show you, you see, you see if it looks like him. This was the day I... Remember? Remember? And the three ways are very similar. You took a picture of him... No, while I was watching the series, he came into the room for a moment. I said, "Wow." Even the way the boy's face is... Yours was like, look at the head. Remember? Yeah, it's very similar. It's your mirror neuron that activated. I don't know if... anyway, right? I said, "No, but then I remembered this because this is a
friend of mine." He said, "Damn, I thought you had taken a picture of the actor in your bed." Oh, yeah. That's right. He sent: "My friend, have you ever dealt with cases that you think are spiritual?" So, are there cases like that? Cases that I imagined would be spiritual, I think it's so complicated. I don't think so, that I took it to the spiritual realm. Yes, they say that exorcism, for example, exists, right? I'm very rational, you know? People think that philosophers and psychoanalysts are crazy, quite the opposite. But you were a nun, an ex-nun.
Yes, but I think it's complicated to spiritualize things. I prefer to understand things from a scientific and rational perspective first. Yes. Uh-huh. Right, right? If you think about the Spiritist sanatoriums, which were the first psychiatric hospitals that existed, they were Spiritist. Have you ever stopped to think about that? Why were the first psychiatric hospitals religious institutions? Because the boundary between illness and spirituality wasn't clear . Uh-huh. There was a lot of confusion about what is illness and what is spiritual. So, if you get someone telling you about a possession, I can easily justify it as
psychosis. If you get someone who's seeing ghosts, I can easily justify it as schizophrenia. So , regarding natural phenomena, I don't know, but for example, opening a drawer, something falling out—that's Parapsychology, it explains it, okay? That world also has an explanation. So it's not that I 'm saying spiritual things don't exist, they do, but that's on another level. And I prefer that you don't go to a therapist. For me, you have to go to a priest, or a pastor, I don't know. "For the spiritual leader. But look, today there's a lot of dishonesty disguised as
religious stuff. At what point would you give up treatment to send someone to a pastor, to a spiritual leader? No, but I don't. I never do because I'll never justify it from a spiritual standpoint, especially since that's not my role. I'm a scientist. Uh-huh. If you've come to my attention, because for me, I'm going to work with you on the basis of reason. I'm not going to push you to the very end of science. I'm not going to send you to... It's the same as a doctor looking at, I don't know, gastritis and sending you
to someone to pray for your gastritis? At no point will the doctor do that, because he will use every last resource of reason to treat your gastritis. That's what he studied for. I will use every last resource because that's what I studied and that's what I believe. I think they are separate fields, science and faith." I think when these things mix here, it becomes a problem. So, how many people do nothing, need nothing. On Friday I was in a bakery, I started joking with the bakery attendant, and so on. Then she said, "Oh, are you
a psychoanalyst?" And she called the others. "Oh, she's here, a psychoanalyst. We all need a psychoanalyst here, and so on." Then another one came along. "What you need is God, attendant. What you need is God. You don't know Jesus, you've never been to church, and so on." Then they go looking for psychologists and psychoanalysts. First seek God, seek Jesus, live your faith before you want to look for something like that. They are different things. Pope John Paul II says: "Faith and reason, two wings that carry us to heaven." It's an encyclical, by the way. One
doesn't replace the other. We need to have faith and we need to have reason. One doesn't cancel out the other. You undergo cancer treatment, take medicine, and pray. It doesn't compromise on either. Yes, but the church itself doesn't deny that exorcisms exist, right? Yes. And that's within the church's purview. And That person has to seek out a church. If they understand that their issue is spiritual, they have to seek out a church. No, a psychologist is more appropriate for the person. Now, how many cases are the opposite, right, that it's a mental illness, and they
talk about it in churches, in places, and say, " That's the problem, right?" That's the voltage inverter, right? That's where you're going to get shocked, because you're doing something that isn't, "Oh, I'm a pedophile," but it's because the devil is acting on me, it's not because you're just a bad character, that you're a scoundrel, you need to call the police on yourself. Yes. It's not because the devil is acting on you, it's because you have a character flaw. Hmm. It's not because you have anything wrong with you. It's easy to blame the devil, and then
the person goes to either a spirit or something. If exorcism cases were so common, we'd be seeing someone being exorcised all the time. Hey, there's a great chat here by Michael Gonçalves, he asked: "Are autistic teenagers more likely to have depression?" Autistic teenagers are more likely to have depression because they are neuroatypical children. We have neurotypical and neuroatypical children. Neurotypical children are those within the common pattern. Neuroatypical children are those outside the common pattern. For example, autistic children. Why do autistic people have a greater tendency to have depression? Because the world wasn't adapted for them.
Uh-huh. The world was adapted for neurotypicals. It's not their situation, it's the lack of... well, the lack of experience in living, because if we also stay outside of what's comfortable for us, we'll also be screwed. He feels differently, he thinks differently, he reacts differently. We even have a course on psychoanalysis and autism and ADHD. An autistic person doesn't have an illness, they have a disorder; they experience the world differently. Now imagine living in a world that you see completely differently, and that world hasn't been adapted for you. Imagine if you were in a wheelchair and
the whole world was made for people who can walk. Imagine how difficult that would be. You would become depressed much more easily. The world isn't adapted. I don't know if you saw it yesterday. There was a report on Fantástico about an autistic boy who was tripped by a capoeira teacher. I saw it. I saw it. How crazy. So, the teacher has no preparation whatsoever, because with typical children, you call their attention, they stop. Neurotypical children don't stop, they just stop. But the world was created for typical children. The teacher was trained to deal with typical
children. Studies are evolving even here for typical children. The teacher has no skill whatsoever. What does he do? He physically restrains the boy. So, of course, these children and adults are much more vulnerable to depression because they are in a maladapted world. Miorinho, our friend Miorinho, a hug for him, sent a message here. Miorinho, the best of debaters. Can you ask what she thinks about free will? I'll answer you, including with a book that was released last week by a neuroscientist from Columbia University. Free will doesn't exist. Oh, it doesn't exist. What doesn't exist? I
don't make my own choices. Who chooses for me? No, I know. I know. Until I'm 15, it's my mother. If you do, it's very little. You have a genetic predisposition and you have an Environmental predisposition. Uh-huh. Then your brain is driven by neurotransmitters. How do I have free will? Wow! There you go, Miurinho. Miurinho wants to debate with you, Andreia. Do you want to debate with Miurinho? Do you want to debate with Miurinho? Miurinho, he's a defender of free will and he's crazy. Free will, people, I'm genetically determined. I love it when people say that
neuroscience and psychoanalysis fight. They don't fight, they complement each other. It starts with my genetics. Now I'm talking about neuroscience. I'm determined by a series of issues that came from my father and my mother. My brain already has a whole format. Then comes my childhood. Until I was 7 years old, I was determined by my environment, my traumas, my issues. From then on, I live with the consequences of that. How can there be free will? Well, consequences are a good way to break free will. You don't do what you want, you do what you can.
I even go, you have consequences. It's a story that Débora Seco tells in an interview. Well, I'm not what I would like to be, I am what I am able to be. I Would even like to be different, but unfortunately I grow up in a hostile environment. Then you take, for example, a street child, and I've dealt with situations like that, the girl is pregnant, the mother used crack when she was pregnant, the father too. Then in the streets of São Paulo, the mother running to get crack or being robbed, I don't know, she gets
run over, this girl, already in the womb, had all the neurochemistry [ __ ] to mess her up. So, the girl ends up on the street, she goes to a shelter, and lives in that shelter until she's 18 years old. Then, at 18, they open the shelter door and say, "Uh, congratulations, the world is yours. We only have shelter for children up to 18 years old." Do you think that person has free will? Then they have a chemical [ __ ] in the womb. Then they grow up in a hostile environment, extremely hostile, where they
are a survivor. And then they have free will to what? To call the little one over there. Come on, little one, for a fight. Andrei, she's too cool. Mi even gave you the, uh, already gave you some lines, get ready to fight, counter, at least these points, but they won't be the only ones. Hours about free will. Okay, good, Andreia, Thank you. Uh, before we finish, Pedro is going to put up a picture of my children too so you can say which one is the most beautiful, right? If one is more beautiful than the others,
they are very beautiful. I can't, I can't thank your factory either. Why your factory? Because it really is Yours. If you want to start a business, look for your factory; they will supply you with a range of fashionable products. You will set the price, they will build the website for you, you will advertise and sell throughout Brazil. And the profit is yours. Your factory delivers to you, your factory invoices. So, if you want to start a business, look for your factory, it's the one in Uberlândia, your factory outlet. Yes, it's there. It's from Araguari, right?
From the people from Trajá, from Araguari. It's doing very well in Uberlândia. Congratulations. Oh, This one here is my oldest. Thank you, Pedro, for putting this up first. Let's see. No, but it had to be just the boys. Well, it's not because João doesn't like taking pictures and there aren't any pictures of just him. Your daughter is the spitting image of your wife. This is my wife. This is My daughter. Princess. She looks like you. She's my daughter. It's a mix of the two. And then put this up. And this one here is my youngest.
They're really cute little kids. Which one is the most handsome? Do you have a child? Child, I can tell you if you want, I'll tell you, right? Because I don't have any trouble saying which one is the most handsome. No, I don't have any trouble. Put Amanda's picture up. Look at her little face, Rodrigo. Get ready for three years from now, four at most. I'm not ready. What's this? Three, four at most. He's nine years old, guys. Four. No. And 13. 13. Help, he's kissing on the mouth. Rodrigo. Yes, at 13 years old, there's already
a little boy calling her "father-in-law." Pay attention. Oh my God. Look at that girl's little mouth. Look how beautiful she is. I'm going to have to prepare. I'm going to have to do a lot of treatment for that. Perfect nose. Such a beautiful girl. It's too difficult to tell you. You have a mission from here to here. To be the man she chooses. You're going to help me. We're in this together. You're going to help me. I'm going to put Augusto's picture here for you to see, look. For everyone to see too, the one who
looks like the boy from the series, you saw here, like, who was that Boy, Robertinho, he's handsome too, you saw, what a handsome boy, oh my god, look at the way he turned out, I don't know if you were happy or unhappy with that. Well, it's sad, isn't it? So heavy, right? He had the same head shape as the boy and their 3Gs are also very similar. No, but it's totally different because Robertinho, his family is too solid. No, this series, for me, is a compendium on psychopathy. If someone wants to study psychopathy, besides other
things, family relationships, there's a lot of thematic content there, heavy psychoanalysis, the repetition of things, for example, the father who is beaten, who hits, who is aggressive, psychoanalysis in its purest form, but regarding psychopathy, this series is about this boy being a psychopath, I even repeat it in detail. That episode with him and the psychologist is described, because the psychopath is like that, he tries to lead you down gently, gently, gently, gently. There's a moment when he explodes, he breaks the chair, he curses, he uses all the weapons, right? And it really is a warning
for families. It's a huge warning for families. What kind of teenager are you raising? What kind of child Are you raising? How much time do you spend with your children? I'm not talking about quantity of time, but quality time. How well do you know your children? If you were an algorithm, how well does that algorithm know your children? Do you know what your child likes? Do you know what music they listen to? Do you know what food they like? Do you know who they hang out with? Do you know their preferences? If you don't know,
you're losing the game. But it's also a reason for the family to panic, like, "Oh my god, this is going to happen at home, I have to do this." No, because panic is for people, it's a cause for alarm, it's a red flag. People need to be alert. Yes, alert. Adolescence is not an easy phase, it's a phase where we are very lost. We've all been teenagers and we've all been lost. And when we're lost, we cling to the first thing that comes along, whether it's you, your father, or your mother. Is there a time
for that, or is it sometimes too late? It's never too late. It's never too late. Any amount is better than nothing. Knowing something is always better than knowing nothing. Oh, But my child is already 14 by now. Well, it starts now then. Oh, he's brand new, so even better. Best of all worlds. It's much easier to straighten a young tree than a... But you can correct a 15 or 16-year-old like that. You can improve a lot and mitigate the risk. That's possible. Maybe you can't correct it completely, but you can mitigate a lot of the
risk. You'll prevent your child from going through many strange and traumatic situations that the world is in, I say, after you go into a doctor's office, you see the ruins of the human soul. I I know the ruins of the human soul. So, nothing is too alarming. It's better to err on the side of excess than on the side of deficiency. It's better for your son to say one day, "Dad, you gave in to me? You were too harsh," than for your son to say one day, "Dad, you were too weak, that's why I'm in
this situation." So I prefer to err on the side of over-action, right? It's better than under-action. Oh, thank you. I saw that everyone loved having you here, Dani. A hug for Dan, always with us, right? If you're not subscribed, subscribe to the channel, comment on what you thought of the episode. What are you going to say at the end so We can see it here? I don't know, but you have to mention Dr. Andre's social media, exactly. For those who want to find you, @andre i Andreavermonte com Temudo. Vermonte Andreia Vermonte @andrevermonte Instagram. Instagram. Hey,
Pedrão, it's true, man. I was forgetting you. Father Fábio offered two courses on the apocalypse. That's right. In the last live stream with him, we had to draw lots. There's a block there that I opened in Computer, a notepad where I put all the usernames of those who managed to fulfill the rules, which were to comment on what the Apocalypse course was, subscribe to the channel, and comment on the post. There are 17 people there that I separated. It's easy for us to win. Do you think we could do a random draw? Open a website,
open a website for online raffles... Oh, no, right? Let's do it through the website just because... and we put 1 to 17 there, or maybe I was going to tell André to choose. Yeah, well, say from 0 to 17, I'll say three numbers. I don't know what's on the screen, okay? Put, put the notepad here, Pedro, on the screen. Andrei won't look. I won't look. Just say it now, Ang. Well, just say it, Ang. Choose two numbers from 0 to 17. Just Two numbers. Two numbers. Two and 13. 2 and 13. So put that there,
that's the... And the 13th is in the notepad where we're going to put the numbers two and 13. Sorry, Pedro. My bad. Sorry. You messed up, Rodrigão. Pedro is systematic, right, man? Pedro is the oldest of us here. Very meticulous with everything. He's the youngest in age, but he's an old man like that. Where is she? Open it up. Let me see. So the two became the ships home, it was 2:13 that you said, right? 13 is Chip Shom Ships Home and Débora Firmo 9306 are the winners of a course on the apocalypse of the
apocalypse that Father F Marinho, who is spectacular with everything he does, is fantastic, a gigantic in-depth study. Did you do the courses separately or together? How was it? Today, today at the institute we have some courses, right? One of them is the apocalypse, the other is the training in psychoanalysis, which the person will study during 12 months and you'll graduate as a psychoanalyst, trained in psychoanalysis. That 's me and Fábio. Now we're launching the Psalms and the Code of Calm. The Code of Calm is a treatise, a manual on how to treat anxiety. This course
will be fantastic. Psalms is also fantastic. So these are the two new products. So today at the institute we have four products: the Apocalypse and the Psalms. Training in psychoanalysis and the Code of Calm. How to get rid of anxiety? Wow. [ __ ] only cool stuff. This "How to get rid of anxiety" is a 40-hour course. What's that more or less? So how many hours will it be, Alex? It has 10 chapters. 10 chapters. Great. But it's a very practical manual, it will be launched on May 8th, very practical. You will buy the course,
you will follow the step-by-step instructions and I guarantee that you will greatly improve your anxiety and, above all, besides improving, you will learn to monitor it. Depression has a cure, anxiety has control. In the Code of Calm Calm down, I'm going to understand anxiety, I'm going to understand the anxious brain, how it works, all in a very practical way. At the end of each chapter, I'll have exercises, I'll have notes, and at the end I'll have a booklet, the "Calm Code," that will teach me how to monitor my anxiety. So, when you have a certain
symptom, you'll already say: "Ah, here, I'm about to have a crisis, so I have to do this, this, this." Uh-huh. Great. Great. That's a methodology I studied for years and that I mainly use on myself. So, today I know the signs of anxiety in my body. And in psychoanalysis, 12 months... "You graduate as a psychoanalyst, you graduate as a psychoanalyst, you can already set up your practice and see patients, because there's a difference, right? There are psychoanalysts who aren't clinical, who are theoretical, and then there are clinical psychoanalysts. 12 months of theory, supervision, and therapy,
right? They need to be in therapy with a psychoanalyst. It's possible in 12 months, the course will be available for 24 months, but in 12 months they can do it, if they put in the effort within those 12 months, they can complete it in 12 months. Oh no, this is the one I want to do, I want to help the hairdresser too much. Online. Everything online, 100% online. The course is fantastic. In fact, we just had a class. When should we launch another class, Alex? At most in two months, we should launch another psychoanalysis training
class. You graduate with a profession, one of the best paid and one that the market expects a lot from, right?" Because with this boom in mental health, we have a gigantic demand. With NR1 (Brazilian Regulatory Standard 1) coming out now, Which mandates that all companies take care of mental health, we have a gap in mental health professionals. So, anyone who graduates in psychoanalysis has it made. Anyone can be a psychoanalyst, high school diploma required, no college degree needed. Uh-huh. Cool, man. Wow, you could really become a psychoanalyst. I'm going to do that. I admire Betinho,
he's going to win a course in the next class. Yeah, he's going to win a course. And if I graduate with honors, do I get a recommendation? If you graduate with honors, you'll be a psychoanalyst at the institution. You'll be at Casa Santa Sofia. Today we have a gigantic unmet demand. I receive at least 40 people a week asking for psychoanalytic treatment. I don't have anyone to refer them to. There you have it, folks, an opportunity. If you want another opportunity, you don't want to be a psychoanalyst, you want to be a police officer. The
institute with the highest approval rate for police careers in Brazil is Instituto Oliver. So don't miss these opportunities. We just gave you several here with your factory, with André's course along with Fábio. And if you Want to be a police officer, no matter what state you're in, the institute with the highest approval rate in Brazil is Instituto Oliver. So don't waste any more time, take advantage of one of these opportunities we've left here for you and subscribe to the channel. And if you saw Andreia for the first time, there's another episode with her on the
channel that was also very good. Watch that episode. There's another episode with Dr. André and Father Fábio Marinho, which was also very good. So I'm sure you'll want to see more content with her; it's on the channel, just go there. If you have any questions, contact us and we'll send you the link too. Thank you . Thank you, guys, for the opportunity. God bless everyone who's been here so far. Kisses.
