Research has shown that there is one particular thing you can do with your baby at nap time and bedtime that can drastically improve their sleep. And I know you'll be wondering so before I go on any further No, it is not crying it out. One of the largest studies that I'm aware of showed some really interesting results.
The research conducted by Mindell and colleagues included over 10,000 children from around the globe. In this study they asked all the participants to complete a survey of their child's sleep habits. And this is where it got interesting.
What they found was that the babies in the group where the parents did this one simple step, went to bed earlier, fell asleep faster, woke up less during the night and slept for longer compared to those who didn't. Now this study didn't look at how long it took for these changes to take effect. It simply looked at whether or not there were changes to the baby's sleep.
But a second study did measure the time it took to see these improvements after making the change. And what they found was that when the participants implemented a similar approach they saw results in as little as three nights. This change was simply implementing a pre-sleep routine.
So let's talk about what that actually means and then I'll walk you through the specifics of how to create one and perhaps more importantly when to actually start using a pre-sleep routine with your baby. Which might be quite a bit earlier than you think! A pre-sleep routine is a special set of activities you do with your baby every time they need to sleep.
Think of it as your own little code between you and your baby that tells them it's time to relax and get ready for bed. This simple principle applies to adults. Having a nighttime ritual like brushing our teeth, putting on our pajamas and reading a book helps prepare the mind and the body for sleep.
Another benefit is that having a consistent pre-sleep routine helps make your baby's day a little more predictable. This predictability helps them feel safe and secure and as a result they're more relaxed. The more relaxed your baby is the more likely they'll go to bed easily and fall asleep quickly.
While a pre-sleep routine might seem really straightforward there are a few important things you need to consider. First when to start. As I mentioned earlier, this is a lot sooner than most parents think.
Believe it or not the ideal time to establish a pre-sleep routine is the moment your baby comes home from hospital. But if you've been at home with your little one for a while now and haven't begun a pre-sleep routine there's no need to worry. The next best time to start is today.
Basically the earlier you introduce a pre-sleep routine the faster your baby will begin to link those activities with winding down for sleep. Paving the way for all the incredible sleep benefits I mentioned earlier. During the first six weeks of life a super quick routine that lasts just a minute or two is all that you need.
It can be as simple as swaddling them and then singing a short lullaby before laying them down to sleep in their crib or settling them to sleep in your arms or the baby carrier. For example, since our daughter was four days old my husband and I have sung Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star to her just before she fell asleep. Over time we've added more to her pre-sleep routine but this lullaby continues to be the final step and she's now almost one-and-a-half years old.
Once your baby's around seven weeks of age it's time to introduce more structure to their pre-sleep routine and create two separate routines. One for bedtime and another for naps. Now don't worry, you don't need to craft an elaborate and lengthy bedtime routine for your baby.
In fact, it's better to keep it simple and straightforward so that anyone who's putting your baby to sleep can easily do it. Remember consistency is key. What we really want is a routine that anyone who cares for your baby can use when it's time for sleep.
One instance where this can be really helpful is if you eventually send your baby to childcare. Being able to share your baby's routine and having it simple enough that they will follow through and use it will make this transition for your baby a lot easier. This adds some predictability to what's already a big transition for them, which again helps increase your baby's comfort and security.
For the bedtime routine, which is when you're putting your baby down for their sleep at night, try to aim for a routine that lasts between 10 to 30 minutes. This ensures that your baby has enough time to wind down before sleep. Then when picking the activities to include in your baby's bedtime routine, start by identifying the activities that are necessary.
Things like feeding, changing their diaper, getting them into their pajamas and getting them cozy in a swaddle or a sleeping bag. Next you want to pick one or two soothing activities that you or another adult can do every night. This could be giving your baby a gentle massage, a calming bath, reading a short bedtime story or softly singing a lullaby as you rock them in your arms.
After picking the activities that work best for you and your little one, you want to order them so that the very last activity in the routine is calming and ends in their bedroom. Ending the bedtime routine in their bedroom helps reinforce the idea that these activities lead to sleep. For instance, you could begin your baby's bedtime routine with a diaper change and a soothing massage.
After that, you might put on their pajamas and give them a feed. Next you might walk into their bedroom, put on their sleeping bag, draw the blinds, turn on the white noise machine, switch off the lights and close the door. Finally, you might wrap up the routine by softly singing a lullaby as you rock them gently in your arms before carefully placing them in the crib to drift off to sleep.
Now, of course, that is just an example. Yours will most likely look a little different. Crafting a solid bedtime routine is crucial, but just as important is timing it right.
If your baby isn't ready to sleep, even the best bedtime routine won't be effective. So when should your baby be going to bed? If your baby is younger than three months, they might not be ready for bed until 10 or 11 p.
m. If your baby's older than three months of age, you'll likely notice that their bedtime naturally starts to creep to an earlier time and become more consistent, occurring within the same 30-minute window by the time they're four months of age. For many babies older than four months, the ideal bedtime tends to be between 7 and 8 p.
m. But keep in mind, every baby is unique. Some might need an earlier bedtime, while others could naturally lean towards a later one.
Plus, the typical 7 to 8 p. m. sleep window may not align with every family's evening schedule.
So just remember, it's important to do what works best for your baby and your family, rather than stressing yourself and your baby out trying to fit into a schedule that just doesn't work for your family. Something you might find helpful to remember is that most babies over three months need about 10 to 12 hours of sleep each night. So as long as your baby is getting the 10 to 12 hours of sleep that they need and their bedtime occurs reliably within the same 30-minute window, whether it's earlier or later, it's all good.
For instance, if your family's routine means your baby sleeps from 9 p. m. to 8 a.
m. or perhaps from 6 p. m.
to 5 a. m. , that still allows them to get those 10 to 12 hours of sleep.
Now for your baby's nap routine, this should be a condensed version of their bedtime routine, usually lasting between 5 to 15 minutes. For example, your baby's nap routine might begin with you walking into their bedroom, changing their diaper, putting on their sleeping bag, closing the blinds, turning on the white noise machine, turning off the lights, closing the bedroom door and singing them a lullaby as you rock them gently in your arms before carefully placing them in the crib to drift off to sleep. Just like bedtime, nailing the timing of your baby's nap routine is key.
If you try to settle them to sleep before they're ready, your baby may fight the nap or if they do manage to fall asleep, they might just have a shorter nap as they just weren't tired enough to have a long one. On the other hand, if you try to settle them to sleep when they're over tired, the routine itself may need to be a little longer as you need to calm them down first. If your baby is older than six months, getting the timing of the nap routine right is a little easier as they tend to follow a nap schedule.
However, if your baby's under six months of age, this can be a little tricky as they don't yet follow a consistent nap schedule. Rather than sticking to a set schedule, you'll need to combine your knowledge of your baby's unique tired signs with age-appropriate wake windows and their general pattern to figure out the best time to start their nap routine. Now, I wish at this point I could tell you that implementing a pre-sleep routine is all you need to know to make sleep with a young baby a breeze.
But we both know it's not quite that simple. There's the frequent waking throughout the night, sudden bouts of fussiness when nothing seems to calm them down, refusal to sleep anywhere but on you, the four months sleep regression, and that's just the start. But just like adding a pre-sleep routine, there are things that you can do to help with those other challenges to help you and your little one get more sleep.
Again, without letting them cry it out. If that sounds like something you'd like more help with, I'm really excited to share that I've just launched my new course Peaceful Drams and there are still big discounts and special bonuses available to celebrate the launch depending on when you watch this of course. Oh, and it also includes a members area where you can ask questions and get the answers and support you need if and when you need it.
I've included a link to the course in the description below or you can go to brightestbeginning. com/peacefuldreams for all the details and I hope to see you in the community.
