[Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] this is one of the most shameful cases ever to come before this bench in all my years as a magistrate I have so damn heard a tale of such heinous ah this parasite can think of no better way to end an evening hooliganism on the night of the University breweries learning produce barbarians so lost to decency that the highest ambition is to steal or hard-working police constables and it may hopefully I find you guilty as charged Bertram Wilberforce Wooster and have no alternative but to final sum of five pounds no BOTS was her up oh no ifs gave him away [Music] away I say [Music] [Applause] [Music] we're here Gavin free ball [Music] [Applause] [Music] I was sent by the agencies and I was given to understand that you required a valid very good sir [Music] the late night last night [Music] if you would drink this it's a little preparation of my own invention gentlemen have told me they find it extremely invigorating after a late evening I say I say you're engaged thank you sir my name is Jeeves I say jeez what an extraordinary talent thank you sir a good one inquire I'm sorry Sam yeah no of course not I'm not at liberty to divulge the ingredients and no no no of course secrets of the guild and all that precisely hmm hmm oh I I say I I say hello huh I want to get in you'll have to come this way I'm afraid we can't shift him huh I was hoping to have a snifter before lunch sound idea anyone in the bar bar me fanger Fitz busy wealthy Simpson and Freddie chop Marshall really the Wooster twins of course not used to stand called no I'll let my cousins must be Bertie Wooster I am I raised beef how'd you do you better come in well not all that it's not right mr. Wooster I'm the one that committee's going to blame for this you know they can't abide mooses the committee can't oh I think it adds a certain whatsit come on Rogers do give me a hand party cousin Betty if you leave young dog face and your way in I met someone called rings be in the hole of the moose oh sorry it's a common enough mistake it was a mistake pinching it what did you shoot it from there was something Museum place in Kensington I didn't think I've ever been to Kensington barn yes you have your mother lives there oh that Kenzi so what you want it for it's for the seekers one of the seekers it's a club in Oxford uses my rather keen to get in rains b2 but you have to pinch something to get elected now touching that lunch you very decently we're going to volunteer to stand out I'm afraid I'm gonna have lunch with our aunt Agatha not the nephew crusher [Music] a budget aunt Agatha it is young men like you who make a person with the future of the race at heart despair right cursed with too much money you do nothing but waste your time on frivolous pleasures you are simply an anti-social animal a drone Bertie was merrier I say really ha well dagoth ur will you be quiet then McIntosh you want someone strong self-reliant and sensible no I don't to counteract the deficiencies of your own character and by great good fortune I have found the very gal Oh who is it sir Roderick Glossop daughter on audio no don't be silly Bertie sit down and eat your luncheon oh she's just the wife for you really look here he will no I don't want to be moulded I'm not a jelly and that is a matter of opinion lady Glossop has very kindly invited you to decorate home for a few days I told her you would be delighted to come down this afternoon oh what a pity I'm so sorry up I got a dashed important engagement this afternoon nonsense you will go to deter age hall this afternoon right oh geez we shall be getting out of dis reasoning can you expect certain news though we will be travelling by trains by train yes people by the name of Glossop would that be so dreary Glossop the noted a nerve specialist that's the one very good sir and which suit would you wear it oh this one a stick very good it's like the sufis oh yes what don't you like about this super teams it's a very nice suit sir but what's wrong with it come on up with it okay I will sir if I might make the suggestion if we are to travel by a train perhaps a simple Brown Harris Tweed such as this might be more appropriate Ross jeez any Goods now perfectly b3 My dear man just as you say Jeeves I'd have to make one thing crystal clear yes sir I am NOT one of those fellows who become absolute slaves to their ballots nose well as long as we understand each other perfectly [Music] I say steady on me yes that's not Bertie Wooster it is I'm saying your ideas bingo I mean living in the country really whereabouts in the country well here's a matter of fact well why are you hating the country yes I know I got a job tutoring the Glossop kid what do you want to tutor the Glossop kid for Manny Bertie mullah spondulicks I know is the girl Oh Bertie what I worship her Bertie I worship the very ground she treads on a tender goddess big-girl sports a strong and upright and wonderful well yes it's a matter wait a minute have you told her not yet I haven't gotten a nerve we walk together in the gardens most evenings and it sometimes seems to me there's a look in her eye yes I know that look like a sergeant major is that the kid yes he's fishing I'll introduce you if you like this is Oswald Bertie Wooster well well Oswald how are you all right nice place this it's all right like fishing to you it's all right why don't you shove him in in the water wake him up a bit Sid never forgiveness is devoted to the little brute right Scott I've got it listen bingo Inori is away isn't she she's coming back tomorrow she's coming my love my own you yes fine absolutely but you still want to make a hit with that don't you bingo yes bless you my child you can do it how Bertie how it's very simple hmm it's all in the wrist action you see you've got to get the flip forward first to disengage the chin strap that's where Barney Frankie Phipps went wrong on New Year's Eve is that a person a balmy mmm well there's some dispute about that ha ha but you see what he did was to pull straight back on the helmet and the policeman came with it oh he must have been hurt barmy no just a couple of bruises I think my wife was referring to the policeman Oh enjoy it white foxes foxes how they enjoy being hunted oh yes but Fox is a vermin mr. Wooster nasty cunning creatures like cats lady Glossop and I dislike cats we hate nasty cruel beasts let me try to understand this mr.
Wooster policeman you say enjoy having their helmet stolen well yes yes I think they they try and enter into the spirit of the thing don't you think bigger oh yes yes yes but what is the point of it point your well it's son it's tradition really it's it's part of the rich tapestry of our island story it's some completely stupid must be rude Oswald no no no no that's all right that's all right he's young he'll learn [Music] what sort of a day is it Jeeves extremely driven to serve with the promise of further fine weather to come excellent just the sort of day for pushing cheeky and blighted soft bridges I should think I couldn't say sir shall I lay out our grave flannel trousers in the checked sports coat for this morning's here oh yes yes yes I expect you're wondering what I meant by that last remark AG's right well I've had rather stunning idea Jeeves indeed you see my friend bingo little is well more than a little smitten with the daughter of the house miss anuria Glossop - as you say Jeeves miss anuria Glossop how do you know that an Oreo gloss there was some discussion in the servants Hall last evenings if I'm given to understand she is a healthy young lady yes well that's mm-hmm we're putting it to use thank you sir and mr. little is enamored of her sir indeed he is dropping it is the poor sap can't bring himself to pop the question a common enough predicament sir well possibly GT was possibly anyway your employer fired I must confess by the fact that my aunt Agatha has me earmarked for anuria unless I can layer off on someone else has come up with a novel and foolproof solution to the problem this is very gratifying news him yes well we thought so bingo and I yes what it is is this Miss Glossop's young brother Oswald is by way of being the apple of his sister's eye human nature is very mysterious yeah well my thoughts precisely Jeeves anyway my plan is to lure anuria to the vicinity of the bridge and then surreptitiously push the little blighter into the lake mr. little will thereupon pop out from behind the bulrush it's where he's been waiting rescue Oswald and have professions of undying love showered upon him by a grateful sister what's the matter Jeeves I couldn't advise it couldn't advise it I mean you couldn't advise it it's just my opinion sir but your plan has too many imponderables no no Alma's gonna be imponderable imponderable thank you sir yes hmm if I might say so sir any undertaking that requires the presence of four people in one place at the same time while two of them are unaware of the fact is fraught with the possibility of mishaps and of all the - James not to say flapdoodle no I'm sorry but when you bid a little longer in my employ you will come to understand that all my chums rely heavily on your employer's wisdom and knowledge of human nature in the conduct of their affairs just as you say not to mention my organizational powers and just plain thingness will that Bill's yes that'll be all thank you Justin that'll be all thank you cheeps hey good turn [Music] good morning mr.
Wooster yes but he's probably getting ready to go fishing I think least I hope so you hope so yes you know fishing knows good healthy pursuit for a young character building to take against the mighty forces of Mother Nature okay yes I once asked Boko fittleworth down to his place with some fly fishing poor old Boko couldn't fathom why anyone would want to catch flies still that's Boko for you always breakfast at this hour mr. Wooster oh good lord no no no no only if I get up early sir Roderick was on his way to London at 8 o'clock he had an urgent call from the Bishop of Hackney ah no [ __ ] got a few pages stuck together do it my husband is not in the book trade mr. Wooster he is a well-known nerve specialist yes that's what I say there's a nest interesting work it must be to you work mr.
Wooster but work as in honest toil you mean yes shooing the wood and drawing the old wet stuff and save all right well I've known a few people who worked absolutely swear by it some of them but Boko fittleworth almost had a job once Oh little as you keep talking about Boko you don't know but everybody knew Boko looks like a parrot with the mold once put his shirt on silly-billy twin the Cesaro age from Lady of Spain beat in my nose know what I couldn't recommend it wholeheartedly anyway he's an acquired taste Boko at least that's what his mother says you were telling me how he once got a job oh yes well and burgers got an uncle in the city you see broke stocked or something like that he offered poker this job and bocoe accepted it I don't think either of them could have been firing on all cylinders to be honest at the time anyway uh chaos obviously ensued until boku sauce sense and gave it all up then we had to take it in turns to go round and sit with him until it calm down how would you ever support her wife mr. Wooster well it depends on whose wife it was I've set up the gentle pressure beneath the left elbow when crossing a busy street normally fills the bill telephone she phoned me way well that's got his niche shows a friendly spirit well she didn't find me exactly I mean I picked the phone up because I was standing beside it what did you say she said let me talk to someone with a brain ah but it was friendly the way she said it don't start in Latin did she say what time should be back in about an hour she said and when was that about an hour ago she's bringing a friend Daphne Braithwaite or something her name is very wallet twelve o'clock [Music] twelve O'Clock the bridge oh right yes it's still on for that Lynn are we absolutely you still want to bring an Oreo to our knees don't you Oh Bertie she's such a wonderful person she had it yes fine so twelve o'clock you be hidden in the brushes by the rich or better you really fit you see you later [Music] I'll leave the bags but people get them Birgit come inside I want to show you some of the things I shot last week hello a moral goods that vote in Worcester what's he doing here what are you doing here Bertie oh you know listen that hither and yon this is my friend definitely Braithwaite how do you do but is a wastrel oh goodie at least that's what his aunt Agatha says come on Daphne see you later Bertie oh why yes yes see you later Daphne oh I say um Nuria come for a walk with me what you know bucket the bags what for I want to tell you something really now no no in about half an hour right no no no that's when that's when that's when in about 20 minutes by the bridge why in 20 minutes it will be better then [Music] hello mummy I'm back what you have a nice time at the bridge register lovely yes I brought Daphne back with me close the door on their manorial cannon sit down I had been talking to mr. Wooster yes I saw him what's he doing here mrs.
Gregson sent him what on earth for he doesn't shoot he doesn't hunt it is your birthday next week noria I hope she didn't send him down as a present you will be 24 oh no it is a good family anuria Oh honestly mummy he doesn't work even he told me this morning he has been thinking about work he is not all your father and I would have hoped for for you I agree even Charlie Oh couldn't make something of him is he keen at all oh it sure is you know how these young men try to hide their feelings [Music] [Music] he still you ass you'll see you don't sniff right music [Music] ah well I was just thinking what yes this may sound a bit rummy on all that but there is someone here who is frightfully in love with you and and so forth a friend of mine as a matter of fact well why doesn't he say so somebody hasn't got the nerve why ships the ground you tread on and all that but just can't wake up a ginger to tell you this is very interesting is it hmm anyway that's the position um so just bear it in mind no I wouldn't make all that Rao you're scaring the fish away Oswald you shouldn't sit on the bridge like that he might easily fall in Marty oh well I'll uh I'll go and tell him hello fishing eh [Music] [Music] are you [Music] [Music] Oh [Music] [Music] are you alright no you run along and change your clothes first proposing to me and that's extraordinary roundabout way and then pushing poor little Oswald into the lake so as to impress me by saving him no no no you run straight up into the house and change your wet clothes before you catch your death of cold Oh Bertie just the man I wanted to see but be a wonderful thing this happened Lytle became of you your real eyes are all wet Bertie I was just on my way to hide in those rushes when the most extraordinary thing happened walking across the lawn I saw the most radiant the most beautiful girl in the world we started to talk her name is Daphne Braithwaite Bertie our eyes met and I knew at once that were I imagine to me my lover anuria Glossop was a mere passing whim there is a wonderful Bertie like a tender goddess she so sympathetic Bertie Daphne banana kept only six tell me how these things turn out don't you think jeans indeed sir there he is falling in love with this blessed 6 handicapper still offers at least it means he's been saved from the frightful anuria true sir but if I might say so sir at a cost to yourself which might have caused other lesser men to blench don't come keys slight dousing is no more than a chap might defer any chap under the sacks and there's not the dousing to which I was referring sir but to the engagement engagement Aaron's downstairs a few minutes ago sound could not help but overhear miss Glossop announcing your engagement to him [Music] is it getting chilly in here Jeeves no sir [Music] must be imagination but he was so sweet mrs. Gregson and so funny I find it difficult to Envisat I shall be able to make something of him I'm sure where he is that a completely wasted life up to the present I say well there's a lot of good in him Egypt wants bringing out it's time I took you in hand Bertie worthy you want someone to look after you bye-bye Bertie goodbye mrs. Gregson goodbye Bert him yes sounds Agathon yeah Nuria doesn't know it but difficulty has arisen about your marriage by Jove really no it's nothing of course it's only a little exasperated there the fact is the Glossop's are being a little troublesome so Roderick particularly so you know thinks I'm not a good Betty wants to scratch the fixture well it's a shame perhaps is right don't be so absurd but it's nothing as serious as that that a nerve specialist with his extensive practice can hardly help taking a rather warped view of humanity you mean he thinks I've got few models than advertised yeah just wants to satisfy himself that you are completely non a chap to take offence so I have said that you will give them dinner this evening if anything's I'm raving you know don't be silly but remember the Glossop stink no y-yes on Agatha I remember and remember Sir Roderick neat only the simplest of foods owing to an impaired digestion yes watch the girl don't biscuit and a glass of water what about meat the case but that is precisely the sort of idiotic remark that would be calculated to arouse sir Roderick strongest suspicion he is a very serious-minded man [Music] public transmitted [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you're not perfect he's better looking than Bertie it's very kind of you to say so sir wait his cousin's I'm Claude what sir I'm used to sister I'm not his cousin I'm reigns Ben I'm delighted to meet you Lauren Schmidt won't you come in the view what's your name Jeeves now mr.
Wooster Zanu valid the last one used to pinch his socks and mr. Wooster is not in at the moment sir but I'm sure he would like me to offer you some refreshment that's jolly decent of him Jeeves he has some Bollinger 27 which is particularly fun be ashamed to let it go off Jeeves yes sir we've got some things down the taxi would you want to take back to Oxford tonight so the last trains not till 10:00 10:00 let's say who we invited to dinner I regret nonsense anyway we're going to ask cousin Bertie if we could leave some things here until the Train I'm sorry sir I should have to ask mr. Wooster's permission first what manner of things might they be in a top hat a fish and a couple of cats of course cats sir perhaps mr.
Wooster would not object oh thank you damn jeez dog face go and get the stuff and bring it up right where is Betty anyway he had an important meeting with mr. funghi Phipps sir barmy fungus hips I believe that is the soubriquet sir yes has the IQ of a backward clan it's my understanding that amongst fellow members of the drones Club he is considered something of a dangerous intellectuals and that's the one mr. Wooster informed me that he is attending the weekly meeting of the drones Club Fine Arts Committee no.
74 what's a king countess ten what's a 10-count house then ten tens and all picture cards counters ten how long have you been playing this game barmy about an hour and a quarter anyhow that's a leaner Lena's let it count half oh good shot oh my game I think if not scored a hundred yet have you 500 oh well I thought we were playing to a hundred let's have another drink at the bar I can't be done I'm afraid okay I've got people kinda dinner toodle-pip try what the sevens count has [Music] [Music] [Music] you know I can't help feeling Jeeves that I could do better justice to this song if I understood what the words meant oh I doubt that sir we not only all this hoe dijo dijo stuff is pretty clear but what do you suppose our hoochie-coochie is exactly it's difficult to say sir unless it's in connection with one of the demotic American words for ardent spirits and thinking of hooch a word of eskimo origin I'm informed balli well are informed Jeeves do you know everything I really don't know Z now that is clever Jeeves really not lied about the king of Sweden and things she was needed yes His Majesty King Gustav does seem to have been extraordinarily generous to the young lady sir no no no no no no I meant M I'm at the fact that it rhymes you see Sweden needin almost [Music] [Music] I say Jeeves could could you lend a hand here does he very good it's just that it's a bit difficult you know being just the one of me it's a sort of call-and-response thing I sing holy holy home and you have to go ho de ho de ho back your step they think so right let's try yes I don't mean to be overly critical jeez I mean I know you're doing a vest thank you sir I just think that perhaps we could dispense with the sir at the end of every line you know it shows the proper feudal spirit and all that but I'm afraid it doesn't play merry hell with the rhythm of the thing very good all right [Music] well now Jeeves do you think I ought to sing Minnie the moocher to the Glossop's this evening I shouldn't think it advisable is there I've not heard that sir Roderick is musical down there but lady Glossop is there is also that to be considered sir well I won't even giving us for dinner tonight consomme sir a cutlet and a savoury and some lemon squash iced well I don't see how that can harm them just don't get carried away with the excitement of the things stop bringing in coffee any good soon right stand by jeez okay thinks I'm Barney does he will show MA Jeeves do bit of Doozer just don't let your eyes go glass here you'll find yourself in a padded cell boy you know where you are whoa whoa whoa evening mr. Wooster good evening Jeeves evening Dirty Dozen we're a little late I'm afraid sir Roderick was detained at the Duke of ram farmlands London yes he um he's off his rocker isn't it there's nothing seriously wrong with his grace it's merely unfortunate that his footman failed to give him his sugar this morning sugar he likes a lump of sugar first thing His grace is under the impression that he is a canary well mistake anyone my maker and as he didn't get his sugar he flew into a temper and tried to perch on the picture rail well it's not unreasonable I'd rather feel like doing that in the mornings when I don't get my tea now if I sit in the middle lady Glossop was sure I could sit on my right and sir Roderick on my left is that right now wait a minute no bus lady Glossop waltz in the middle um but she's the only lady um then we can sit either side should we try that yes lady Glossop in the middle yes I if you might go on the other side sir Roderick and I'll sit here now wait a minute that's not right is it there's a robbery call to sit in the middle oh he's the only nice distinguished gentleman that's why we're getting there getting there it's erotic here yes if I can just squeeze past no hold on hold on can't have a husband and wife sitting together ah no that's why I'll sit in the middle yes and cirrhotic on that side and lady Glossop on this side if you would mind there we go hold on we're back where we started now mr. Wooster hello let us sit down oh right yes good idea yes I'm worn out they say dudes that soup doesn't look at all bad does it thank you sir so I'm Sir Roderick this Ram feminine fellow does he get dressed up in yellow feathers nor what I would if I thought I was a canary I'm gently interested in people who get the Jim jams because well some of my best friends do you'll keep a cat mr.
Wooster cats no I had the distinct impression I heard a cat mewing either in this room or very close at hand Oh probably a taxi or something in the street checks a mr. Wooster yes what taxis squawk a bit and they squawk have lot like cats in a way lady Glossop life of a particular horror of cats oh well there you go then I don't much like taxis my husband had an unfortunate experience with a taxi only this afternoon indeed I did I was about to be driven to the Duke of Ram family's house ok as I expect he likes to call it anyway I was sitting innocently in my car when my hat was snatched from my head as I looked back I perceived it being waved in a kind of feverish triumph from the interior of a taxicab huh extraordinary thing must been some sort of practical joke I suppose i confess i failed to detect anything akin to comedy in the rage the action was without question that of a mentally unbalanced subject mr. Wooster what is the meaning of this hey there is a catch close at hand it is not in the street look I have not got a cat I tell you all right Jeeves in here they're married I simply can't bear it no low key must be Jeeves Jeeves you called turn that will you make you a noise like a cat no sir will that be all no it will jolly well must be all Jeeves are there any cats in the flat only the three in your bedroom use em what have been only the three in my bedroom the black ones the tabby and the small lemon colored animal once called Melbourne these used to sit so close to the way I fancy said that the animals might have become somewhat exhilarated as a result of discovering the fish in mr.
