My Girlfriend Wanted Us To Open Our Relationship, So I Pointed To The Door And Said, "Get Out."

my girlfriend wanted us to open our relationship so I pointed to the door and said get out so like the title says I 43 male my girlfriend 36 female asked that we open the relationship and I just pointed her to the door was it too much I strongly believe that in a monogamous relationship when someone asks to open it well it's because that person saw something else out there and is ready to try instead of working on the relationship basically it blindsides his or her partner so I have been with Fran 36 female for the

last 2 and 1/2 years almost two as a couple I thought that things were moving smoothly and was about to ask her to move in at the beginning of April but lately she was acting rather distant so I decided to wait a little bit and watch I was cheated on in the past so I'm a little cautious with some signs out of nowhere this last Friday she asked me to open the relationship she gave me all of her big speech and when she ended her presentation I asked her if she has someone in mind because

it's not like we decided today and are basically going out with other persons tomorrow basically I tricked her into telling me what I already knew and yes she has someone in mind which means to me that either she already did it or she has it all set up so I got up walked around the apartment while she was trying to sell that this could be good for both of us and our relationship by the time she ended talking I handed her one of my sports bags with all of her stuff in it and told her

to leave the spare key on the table on her way out that were done and she knows why then I went to the couch and turned on the TV just trying to look indifferent and save face she was speechless for a while about to cry but before before she could say something I told her that I didn't want to talk about anything and she should leave as soon as she left I felt like crap So Unworthy cried a little and as of right now I'm still mourning my phone has been going almost nuclear with all

the calls and texts I received from her friends of both sides about my extreme reaction over her simple request don't know what she told them so now I'm sitting wondering if I really went overboard and at the same time fighting the urge to run back to her because deep inside even knowing my feelings for her are still there the trust is gone and I'm not going to spend all my time watching her movements it's not healthy maybe in time really I don't know before anyone points it out yes I know my reaction is a pure

reflection of me not what she did or what she was about to do or could do so did I go overboard ask for an opinion and the community will provide the first one goes like this all you did was fine if she was not satisfied with the relationship she should have handled that with you not by planning a date with someone else the op replies thanks my point exactly the next piece of advice States you are very nice to her considering what she did anyone who says any different is no friend of yours the lp

replies it's not like I think I did wrong but some of my friends were trying to patch things up because they care and telling me that I was too extreme in the hope that we could find a way back so even if it sounds silly asking for perspective from Unknown People helps another Community member chimes in handled perfect perfectly you did nothing wrong she already had feelings for another person at least sexually so she should go have fun with him she just doesn't get to go have that fun and have you if people in your

life don't understand that then they can pound sand too no I don't think you went overboard op I think these comments have a point she already had feelings for someone else and she was looking for an excuse to be with them while not having the guts to just leave you she can't go on test driving other folks while still being with you that's not how an open relationship works if she wanted out she should have just said that and not put you in a position that you aren't comfortable with I mean sure you may have

been coming from a place of insecurity but it was unfair for her to put you in that position update first of all thanks for all of your replies and upvotes it never crossed my mind that this post would have this much attention I just wrote to put order in my ideas and vent a little and with the hope that a few people would tell me if I went overboard but I didn't expect the amount of replies I got so many thanks for all that some people pointed out that maybe I went overboard that maybe she

wasn't aware of my position on the subject I replied to some but there were too many comments to get back to them mall so to clarify maybe a year back approximately we had a couple of friends in a similar situation and for like a month that was the main theme of conversation in our group of friends every time I said that for me it's a big no and if one person in a relationship needs to be with other persons well he or she should leave about the friends trying to mend things up well they weren't

totally aware of the situation yesterday after I posted here and with my ideas more defined I went to see a group of them and told them my point all of them agreed with me at different levels some of them wanted to let it go others wanted to burn her at the stake of course a few girls in the group pointed out that I could do things in a better way and also there were a few questions about if I could consider giving her another chance but for me the main issue is not feelings I know

that I love her but the trust is gone and I don't want to find myself wondering all the time what she's up to after I left my friends talked to the other persons that weren't there and basically the waters have calmed if you were wondering what she is doing really I don't know I got a few texts from her but haven't read them yet and don't think I will soon anyway I know it's not much but this is all I got for now note when I first joined this part of Reddit I didn't get that

people got here by posting their relationship troubles but I do get it now I think you're right about the trust her eyes have been wandering and that can hurt obviously she has her eyes on someone else and her attention outside of your relationship final update my 43 Millions girlfriend 36 Fahrenheits asked to open the relationship and I just pointed her to the door hello to every stranger interested in how things ended I wasn't much on the idea of posting another update but some people have been asking so here it is finally after listening to various

friends and some Reddit users I talked to her just to sort things out last Friday we met at our regular place where we take coffee at the distance she looked great so great that I just wanted to say f it and drag her back to my place it took a lot of restraint to not do it when I got close to her I noticed her sadness and she still had her eyes irritated from crying we sat and before she could say a word I asked her to tell me the entire story and then please not

leave anything out of it I needed it and then I would ask her a few things and also needed all the truth the story is pretty basic around 2 months before she asked for the open relationship on her girls dancing night out they met this exotic good-looking guy during the first month he was the new flavor that all the single friends in the group were trying out which led to the girls talking and sharing experiences eventually this guy who was having his way with all the girls around him set his eyes on Fran and began

to flirt with her taking her to the dance floor and having fun well here's when she should have stopped things because we had an arrangement with dancing night that she would stay away from any guy because we guys are pigs and it's pretty rare that a guy just wants to dance anyway because of the excitement she went for it enjoyed the attention of this guy and had a great time dancing looking at the Timeline this was around the time I noticed that Fran was distant moving forward a few weeks her friends were sharing more intimate

stories about the guy and that got into her mind she found herself fantasizing about doing it with him also he was trying to make a move on her too but from what she told me she didn't go for it because she was with me drinks and drunken friends are bad counselors and once the idea of opening the relationship came out they were over two weeks chatting about how to convince me that because a long time ago I had threesoms and also swung a little I should be okay with the idea of an open relationship but

the reasons in swinging are things you do as a couple and out of pure excitement at least for me and that was a long time ago early 22nds all this led to the day she asked to open the relationship she told me that she and her friends never thought that I would end the relationship at the moment that the worst scenario would be me getting angry and saying no so there's no big deal in just asking at this point I interrupted her and told her that she should know better we were together over 2 years

and always shared my thoughts about everything with her she agreed at this point I explained to her that I didn't break up with her for the question I did it because there was already a guy so for me that was a major trust issue if this was some concern that came out naturally maybe we could have worked it out but in the worst scenario maybe we could have found an alternative but the way things were it was an alert for me we went around the topic for a while and then I began to question her

basically I asked if she was intimate with him at some point she said she wasn't if she developed some feelings for him no she didn't and lastly if she has seen the guy again and that was also a no even if that is not much that was a small relief but I explained to her that I can't go back to her I need to close this for my own health as I told her we share a lot of friends and I don't want to lose any of them because of this and it wouldn't be fair

to ask them to choose so we can behave like adults and keep things friendly if my friends take one side it's because they want to not because I asked them to she said how sorry she is that if she could she would undo everything but she knew it can't be done she was about to cry I was also too so it was a good moment to ask for the check and leave I walked her to her car open the door for her just a habit of mine and she started to cry I couldn't help but

hug her we stood there about 10 minutes when she calmed she got into her car and drove I was in shock I went home grabbed my camping gear and drove to the mountains and spent all weekend there to clear my mind early this morning I was driving back to the city and at that very moment my phone grabbed a signal it got flooded with messages from friends and family all worried because I basically disappeared without telling anybody I texted back to everyone telling them that I was okay that I went out for camping and at

that moment was driving to work also I got a text from her something along the lines that she feels that we are not over yet and that she thinks I need more time to leave all this behind me and she will wait in the hope of it I haven't texted her back because I'm pretty sure I'm done but experience has taught me to Never Say Never so for now I'm going to take it easy doing what I like and see where things take me well that's it thanks for all your support and advice P.S sorry

about my English no more reactions from the Community First up good job standing up for yourself the moment she got another guy in her mind she's no longer respecting you do not take her back there are plenty of good women out there that will treat you right well now she can get all the attention and sexual experience with any guy she wants while being single of course only vile humans wish to explore their sexual desires while still in a relationship with others the up replies to be fair the Mind plays tricks on us so having

thoughts or fantasies is pretty normal taking action is the issue here is where I draw the line I don't wish her ill or anything at the moment I'm just a little sad not going to lie going back had crossed my mind a lot of times but I just play my mind the scenario of me back with her and also wondering and having the need to check her phone and that's a big no for me I don't believe she is vile only we weren't on the same page also I think deep inside she wasn't on the

same page with her own self anyway time to move forward and see what life has ahead for me honestly I think you made the right choice she decided to go for it and she found out what that cost her you deserve someone who wouldn't entertain such a thought wishing you all the best op what do you think did op overreact next up a girlfriend exploring herself by means of another man girlfriend 24 Fahrenheits cheated on me 24 millions in a longdistance relationship as she wanted to explore herself so I started talking to this girl back

in 2021 got introduced to her because we worked in the same company after a few weeks I asked her out and began a relationship we stayed in a long-distance relationship as work from home was introduced we spent a lot of time together as we were working together shared a great connection had so many similar Hobbies interests and Kinks after one year she tells me that she plans to move abroad to pursue higher education her Masters as she wasn't satisfied with her current salary and asked me to do the same since it' be beneficial for our

career growth and would give us an opportunity to build a life together at some place new I agree and we both applied for spring intake together we got the admission her visa got approved but mine didn't so I had to apply for fall intake ultimately it did get approved so she left in December 2022 and again we continued the long-distance relationship after 2 months she was crying like crazy and tells me that her roommate tried to kiss her forcefully while he was drunk and she rejected it I told her to strictly establish boundaries so that

these sorts of incidents don't happen again or just look for another place in the next few weeks when things seemed fine she asked me for my thoughts on open relationships I should have told her no I'm not interested in that and I'll never be interested in it she told me to just try and have a one night stand and see how it feels I got somewhat alarmed and told her no means no and she didn't bring it up again the thing is that we were both virgins and we had planned about exploring the sex stuff

together so it did come as a shock as to why she's asking me to try these things when we have plans for that sort of stuff already then later on everything made sense so this month out of nowhere she tells me that things got physical between her and her roommate the one who tried to kiss her forcefully while they were alone in the gym and later on ended up having sex this continued for a few days she told me that she just couldn't wait and as she feels like she's getting old she feels the need

to explore herself the sex didn't mean anything and that she still wants to build a life with me and she loves me I was Furious here I am leaving my job family family business everything behind spending a crap ton of money just so that we could be together get married and build something for us and this is what she did to me she says she feels very guilty about it and she has ended everything with the roommate and is already looking for a new place where she will live by herself until I'm with her sorry

for making this so lengthy I'm just devastated I don't know how to handle this I haven't picked up her calls or replied to her texts I feel so betrayed and have no motivation to move abroad Everything feels like a waste and a mistake any suggestions on what I should do shall I forgive her and give her another chance or shall I continue ignoring her let's see what kind of advice is offered in this scenario first up the relationship is over if you want to move abroad do it for yourself not for her this woman has

cheated and lied to you and she will do it again even if where you are moving will be right next to her ignore her stop contact completely any money you are spending on her stops right now she will continue to say I love you beg and plead to you ignore it none of it will help you when she destroys your trust again would you honestly still get married to her knowing the second you are outside of her line of sight she will sleep with another random dude and call it self-discovery disappear from her life and

teach her the price of being disloyal to someone you care about the up replies yeah no contact has been the case for the past two weeks and I never spend any money on her she's taking care of her finances by herself in her last text she said that she's going to wait for me and will reach out to me once I'm there or I just ignored it I think this relationship is done she proved who she is and like the comment said the second you're out of sight she's going to do it again she probably

has lied to you about trying to find somewhere else to live and she's expecting you to not go or why else would she tell you I wouldn't even try to move there anymore if it's not too late changing your plans might be a headache but it's better than uprooting your life and moving there to be with someone who doesn't respect you but yeah if you're going to go do it for yourself and not for her what would you do thank you for joining us today be sure to like And subscribe and hit that notification Bell

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