Slow English podcast >> from Speak English with class. >> Hello my friends. Welcome to the Slow English Podcast.
The place where you learn real English slowly, clearly, and with confidence. My name is Daniel and today I want to ask you something. Have you ever done something simple?
But then someone asked why did you do that and you started explaining and explaining more until you felt tired even a little small. Yeah, me too. I used to explain everything.
why I said no to plans, why I left a job, why I changed my mind, why I needed time alone. I felt like I needed to give people a reason every single time, but not anymore. Now, I've stopped explaining myself and it has changed my life.
In this episode, I'll tell you my story, what changed, why it changed, and how you can feel strong even in silence. And the best part, you'll learn English while learning about life. Short sentences, real vocabulary, emotional moments, and clear English that's easy to follow.
And don't forget, you can download the free PDF guide for this episode. It includes comprehension, grammar, and vocabulary quizzes to help you grow your English, just a little extra every time. The link is in the video description.
All right, let's begin. There was a time when I explained almost everything. If I said no to something, I gave a long reason.
If I made a different choice, I told the whole story. If I needed space. I felt guilty, so I tried to make it sound okay.
Not because I wanted to talk so much, but because I was afraid. Afraid of being misunderstood. Afraid someone would think I didn't care.
That habit didn't start all at once. It grew slowly, quietly in school, at work, with friends, even with family. People would ask me simple things.
Why are you so quiet? Why don't you want to join us? Why do you always leave early?
And I would explain again and again and again. I explained to be polite. I explained to avoid hurting others.
I explained because I didn't want anyone to feel bad. But slowly, without noticing, I lost my voice. I wasn't making choices for myself anymore.
I was choosing what would sound better to others. And you know what? It made me tired.
Not just physically, but inside. There's a strange kind of tiredness that comes from not being honest with yourself, from giving reasons when you shouldn't have to. I remember one day I canceled dinner plans.
I had a long week. I needed rest that's all but I sent a message with a full explanation almost like an essay and even after explaining I felt guilty that's when I asked myself why do I feel the need to explain everything and that question became the start of my change the real shift started with a moment I'll never forget it was a Saturday, a friend called and invited me to a party. I was sitting at home drinking tea, enjoying the quiet.
And for once, I didn't want to go. So, I said, "No thanks. I think I'll stay in tonight.
" He paused and said, "Why? " and out of habit. I started explaining.
I said, "Well, I didn't sleep well and I have laundry and I have some work to finish. " And while I was talking, I caught myself. I was lying.
Not big lies, but small ones just to sound reasonable. The truth was simple. I didn't want to go.
And that should have been enough. That night, I wrote in my journal, "If I always need to explain myself to be accepted, then maybe I'm not being accepted, just tolerated. " Oof, that one hit me hard.
But it was honest. And from that moment, I decided to change. Change didn't feel light and easy at first.
It felt heavy. When I stopped explaining, people noticed. Some asked, "Are you okay?
" Some said, "You've changed. " A few even joked, "Why are you so rude now? " And that was tough.
Because I wasn't rude. I was just quiet, clear, calm. But people were used to me overexplaining to me always saying yes or giving long reasons for no.
So when I became simpler with my words, they felt I had become distant. And honestly, that phase tested me. There were days I wanted to go back to make everyone happy again and to say no.
But here's why. Please don't misunderstand. But I stayed strong and slowly.
People adjusted. They started to understand this new version of me. One friend said, "You feel more centered these days.
" Another said, "You don't explain everything anymore, and I like it. " That made me smile because finally, people weren't reacting to my explanations. They were responding to me.
Let me tell you the truth. I didn't change overnight. It didn't happen in one day or even one week.
It took time and small steps, gentle steps. At first, I still wanted to explain myself. Even when I stayed silent, my heart would race.
I would think maybe I should say more. Maybe they won't understand. Maybe they'll think I'm selfish.
But slowly I learned something important. Silence is not rude. Silence is not cold.
Sometimes silence is peace. When someone asked, "Why did you cancel? " I didn't give them a full story.
I just said, "I needed space today. " Or, "I made a different choice this time. I hope that's okay.
That's it. Simple, kind, and enough. It wasn't always easy.
I still felt that pull to defend myself, to explain, to make people feel better. But I reminded myself, not every no needs a reason. Not every choice needs to be understood.
If someone felt disappointed, that was okay. I didn't have to fix their feelings. I could still be kind without carrying everything on my shoulders.
And you know what helped me stay strong? I started writing things down, little reminders just for me. I wrote them on sticky notes and I put them on my wall, on my mirror, even on my phone screen.
Things like, "My peace matters. " I'm not responsible for everyone's emotions. A full sentence doesn't need an explanation.
Every time I read those words, I felt a little more free, a little more clear, like I didn't have to carry the world in my hands. You know what else helped me? I stopped saying sorry all the time and I started saying thank you instead.
Before I would say things like sorry I'm late. Sorry I didn't reply earlier. Sorry I need some time alone.
But over time I noticed something. These sorry moments made me feel small like I was doing something wrong even when I wasn't. So I tried something new.
Instead of saying sorry I'm late. I said, "Thank you for waiting. " Instead of, "Sorry I didn't reply," I said, "Thank you for your patience.
" It felt different, stronger, kinder to myself and to others because thank you comes from a place of peace, not guilt. It says, "I see you and I also see myself. " At first, it was hard to change.
Sorry came out so quickly like a habit, but I paused, took a breath, and tried again with thank you. Day by day, it got easier. And now when I speak, I feel more calm.
more balanced because I'm not always apologizing for existing. I'm just living with kindness, with respect, and with less pressure to explain or be perfect. And that shift from sorry to thank you changed a lot for me.
It's small, but it's powerful. And that has changed everything. Today, I feel stronger, not louder, not harder, just more myself.
I still say no. I still change my mind. I still need space.
But now I don't explain it away because I trust myself. Because I've learned that explanation is not always a sign of respect. Sometimes it's a sign of fear.
And I'm done living in fear. Your progress doesn't end here. To continue advancing your English skills, click on the next video or explore the additional videos we've thoughtfully selected for you.
