watch what happens when a giraffe and a jackal get together on this love see this is watch this jackal ask a very dangerous question but notice that the giraffe is too smart ever to answer this question what do you love me jackal before I can answer your question honestly I need to get some important things clear are you using the word love as a feeling well of course okay well I needed to get that clear so you mean am I feeling certain warm cuddly tender feelings talking yes okay I needed to get this clear could
see we giraffes do not use the word love as a feeling it's much too important to us to get it confused with the feeling it's a need for us but since you use it as a feeling okay I'm glad to know that so would you that would you ask the question again do you love me when [Music] when well I want to be honest I can see how important this is to you but how can I be honest with you about what I feel toward you without reference to a specific moment feelings change every few
seconds life is changing feelings are part of life so I'd have to know a specific time and place to ever answer your question of how I feel what about right now No but try me again in a few moments so you see to a giraffe love is a need and it's a need for which we must be very clear about what requests do we have of other people to meet that need now lots what again what happens with reference to that if we're if we're in a love relationship with a jackal I want you to
love me well so you have a need for love Jacqueline you're giving me the honor of wanting give me to meet that need yes I really don't see how it clear what you would like for me to meet uni could you tell me what you are requesting of me to meet your need now the poor jackals they don't live in the moment you see and to make a clear request you have to live now you have to be clear what you want so watch how the jackal handles it so could you tell me what you
want me to do to meet your need for love oh you know now I'm not sure I do I really see how many important this need is for you so can you tell me specifically what you would like me to do to meet your need for love it's hard to see in so many words if it's hard for you to say jackal can you see how hard it will be for me to do I never thought of that so what would you like me to do to meet your need for love it's embarrassing to get
clear yes it is because much of our oppression in close relationships comes from saying to people I want you to respect me I want you to love me I want you to understand me without our being real clear what we want when we say that so what are you wanting Jacqueline you say you want me to love you I want you to guess what I want before I even know what it is and I want you always to be willing to do it thank you for not defining it that way Jacqueline would you please find
someone else to meet your need for love most jackals that carry that definition of love around with them find out how impossible it is to meet on about their fifth divorce they keep thinking that they're gonna find the right person to love them not realizing the problem is how they're defining love and what they want from other people to meet the need for love to see that it's impossible to meet that need
