it's already been a month since the election I guess time flies when I'm not ripping out what's left of my pubes since Trump's Victory half the country is excited and the other half is still at home in the fetal position me I'm coping by shutting off the news for a while and watching something a little Cozier like who killed John banet Ramsey Baby It's Cold Outside and so is this C but for those Democrats able to leave the house this is what they're doing an art installation on the walls of a 14th Street subway stop
is encouraging people to put their thoughts on Post-it notes it invites everyone to leave their feelings about this week's presidential election things like I'm so scared but I love this life more than I fear Darkness what the is this call me oldfashioned but if you have a breakdown on the subway you're supposed to jump in front of it Subway walls are for only two things mysterious piss stains and ads for Shen Yun sure it's a cult but those concubines sure can Boogie and who are these people writing their deepest feelings on a train platform the
only Subway thoughts I have are is that guy and why am I being stabbed in that order but if writing Post-its is a little too subtle you can react to the election loss the American way violence rage rooms have seen a spike in business since the election it's a place where you can go in Smash plates televisions anything else you can find to let off steam in fact in the immediate days after the election they say the number of reservations have tripled a unique way to smash away that stress look out everyone the libs are
pissed and they're coming for Grandma's find China Democrats can't even get mad correctly conservatives storm the capital meanwhile Democrats are like are these crowbars ethically sourced when gets bad you don't smash things like a toddler you'll let it eat away at you from the inside like a big boy with stress related hemorrhoids which reminds me this segment is brought to you by preparation age preparation age I'm old I'm angry and I'd like some free preparation AG but but if you'd like to be sad without getting a Shard of glass in your retina you could always
Venture outdoors and get in touch with your inner coyote liberal women are holding what they call Primal scream events to release their Fury screeching at the top of their lungs at Lake [Applause] Michigan okay let we get this straight plan a for the Democrats was to vote and plan B is to scare theck out of sturgeon I don't know about you but I'm feeling optimistic about 2028 trust me screaming doesn't change anything I've been doing it for 40 years and I'm still at the same desk God I've wasted my life but if screaming beside a
lake doesn't cure your election Blues maybe riding on a boat will and did the presidential elections make you want to jump ship from America for a little while well Villa V residences is a cruise line that actually lets you take a long-term dwelling aboard its Odyssey ship now there's a one-year escape from the reality or a 2-year midterm selection and if your election hangover is just really really bad well there's a threeyear everywhere but home and a 4-year skip forward option ooh a 4-year Cruise sign me up what better cure for an election hangover than
half a decade of pinic coladas and freeze dried scallops Trump's going to slash Medicaid just in time for me to get super herpes from a Swiss Widow now that every country in the world can see that Liberals are terrified the smart ones are cashing in well a small Italian Village is offering cheap homes to Americans who want to lead the US yeah so the town of olle has mve in ready homes for up to 10,000 bucks homes that need a little TLC they're available for just over a dollar Village officials hope this will revive it
after its population declined oh great an Italian Village whose population dis disappeared that doesn't sound ominous at all I'm happy to buy an a abandoned home and find out what disemboweled all the cattle listen America may be but that doesn't mean I'm moving into Luigi's haunted mansion plus plus America already has a creepy Italian hole it's called New Jersey but wow not what I expected but but hey if you're willing to spend good money to avoid these next four years I'm willing to take it to you okay take it from you that's why I'm offering
a product of my own uhhuh I call it the forever sleepy time brick uhhuh just shackle it to your foot and find the nearest body of water screaming optional [Applause] [Music]
