As you’re about to find out, the truth, ironically, is quite ugly. One of my favorite topics in the WORLD is: why on earth are we so drawn to some people and not so drawn or even put off by others? I’ve met people who seem perfect on paper, yet I just.
. Mhhh. .
no. And then I’ve met people that haven’t and I’ve been like: oh, I want to get to know YOU! How does that work?
I don’t have the answer. This topic has been heavily studied, PLUS I conducted my own small study on Instagram, PLUS I do have a hunch about how this whole attraction thing works if I roll the tape of my life back and go analyse some of the interactions I’ve had. This video is all three combined.
I’ve left links for some of my holy grail products and other recommendations that I’ll be mentioning in the description box. I want you to present your best self to the world and to yourself. Looks matter a lot.
Ignoring that fact doesn’t make it go away. Looks affect more or less every aspect of our lives: our dating life, work life, how strangers treat us. We all know this.
When we see someone attractive, we assume they hold a bunch of other positive traits too, this is the halo effect. Everyone you meet judges the way you look, and if you’re a human being, you judge others too, whether you like to admit it or not. Now, is looks genetics?
Of course. I’m not trying to sugarcoat that. But it’s also more.
More than just the symmetry of our face and the colour of our eyes. In fact, much of what it is is in our control. 1.
It’s the way we dress. In my very extensive, trustworthy Instagram study with around 9000 participants, 73% said the way someone dresses affects their attractiveness; 24% answered it affects their attractiveness “a little” and 10% replied saying “not really. ” I’m part of the 73%.
Look clean. BE CLEAN Look like you give a damn, and actually GIVE a damn, and you’re off to an amazing start. Getting to know your body type, your colours and your size to figure out what works for you can do wonders.
Wear what fits your body shape right now, don’t wear what fits the body shape you wish you were. Work with your strengths! Is it your shoulders?
Calves? Waist? Height?
Everyone has their strengths. Every single person. I started upgrading my wardrobe little by little about a year ago and it’s crazy how feeling good in the right outfit can completely change the way I carry myself.
Some of my favourite staples that make me personally feel really good are leather jackets, maxi skirts and jewelry, which, speaking of jewelry, ladies and gentlemen alike – it can totally upgrade your looks. Even just a simple bracelet or small earrings. Accessories that beautiful body of yours.
Put some icing on that cake. Wrap yourself as best you can and present yourself to the world as the gift that you are. 2.
Maintaining correct posture Will I mention posture in every other video? Yes, because it’s so important. Slouching completely changes the impression someone is giving.
Not only does it make you look more confident, but it also makes you FEEL more confident. Try filming yourself when you’re sitting down and slouching, and then film yourself when you straighten yourself and watch how your whole demeanour changes. 3.
Skin care Skin care, obviously. And for the love of god or whatever you believe in, moisturise your lips. I always carry chapsticks around, I cannot stand crusty lips.
If I’m talking to someone with crusty, dry flaky lips, it’s the only thing I can focus on. It happens to the best of us, but don’t just let it be. 4.
Hair HAIR can literally change your entire appearance. It’s actually unbelievable sometimes. Like when I have my hair straightened vs curled, I feel like two completely different people.
Straight-hair Lana makes me feel younger, like a teenage version of myself. Wavy hair Lana makes me feel like OH she’s HER! Don’t be afraid to be a bit experimental.
I for one have tried shorter hair, like, shoulder length, and I’ve realised, I don’t feel good in it. After all, that’s what is most important – what makes you feel like your best self? 5.
Grooming I have a feeling a patchy beard and overgrown brows don’t make the top 3 list of things people find attractive. I feel and look cleaner when I’ve given my brows a bit of a trim. 6.
Health Do you know what attraction is? Basically, in a nutshell, it’s signs of good health and good genes, so don’t overlook this one. Looking healthy.
Acting healthy. Being as healthy as you can. Orally.
Physically. Mentally. Spiritually.
Emotionally. This is of course going to look different for anyone because we’re all dealt different cards in life. 7.
Confidence Speaking of confidence, universally one of the most magnetic things that draws people in. I’ve made a couple videos talking about confidence already so I’ll link them for you instead of repeating myself, but I’ll say this: We all have areas in our lives that seem quite difficult to deal with or to get started with. I know self-confidence has been a life-long journey for me, and thanks in part to therapy, I’ve gotten a long way; longer than I probably ever could’ve gotten on my own.
No one should have to feel alone in their thoughts or challenges, which is why I’ve chosen to partner with BetterHelp for this video, and I’m so happy they wanted to be our sponsor today. BetterHelp offers licensed therapists who are trained to listen and help you. Talk to your therapist in a private, online environment at your convenience.
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Get 10% off your first month at betterhelp. com/lana, that’s better H-E-L-P. Also linked below in the description box.
7. Smelling good A lot of the things in this video are going to seem obvious. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that the obvious isn’t actually obvious.
Simply showering, wearing deodorant and perhaps one sprint of perfume or cologne. Or not, you know, smelling like nothing is fine too. But smelling like you live in Mount Crumpit with the Grinch?
You don’t want people remembering you by your poor hygiene? Do you? DO YOU?
8. A good attitude Seriously. A good attitude looks good on anyone, and a bad one will make anyone look bad.
Negativity is unattractive. This could be things like complaining, victim mentality, gossiping. I’m obviously not talking about having an off-day which we all have or being clinically depressed, I’m talking about being chronically stuck in a cycle of negativity that isn’t due to a medical condition.
This isn’t about being all bubbly and outgoing and saying hi to everyone you walk past. Not at all. You don’t even need to say anything necessarily; your demeanour will say it all.
A joy for life can be seen in people's eyes. People pick up on it. We pick up on it by the way someone walks, the way they talk, the way they carry themselves and by how genuine their smile is.
If you feel good about yourself, it’ll show. It’s magnetic. As opposed to someone who walks around all dark and moody and thinks the world hates them.
When I’m having a bad attitude, I don’t even want to be around myself. It’s tiring, it’s off-putting and if I was anybody else, I wouldn’t want to be around that either. I guess a good way to sum this one up would simply be: people who look approachable, which I don’t look, because I have a RBF, but I think walking around with a white teddy bear makes me look more approachable.
9. Humour In my Instagram not Harvard study about what people found attractive, one word kept popping up: humour. Someone who’s not too easily offended.
Someone who can take a joke and throw one back at you. Someone with wit. Someone who picks up on your sarcasm.
We’re attracted with people who makes us feel relaxed and like we can be ourselves; humour is part of that. 10. Mannerisms Also, not surprisingly, a frequently recurring answer in my study.
Personal story coming through: You know when people stand outside and hand out fliers? Once upon a time, I was on a date with someone, and we walked past a girl who was handing out flyers. And the guy I was out on the date with was just like “NOPE”.
Instant turnoff. A simple “no thank you” would’ve been better. So, yeah, using those little words that mean so much can definitely influence how we feel about someone.
Do they say “excuse me? ”, do they say “please? ”, do they hold the door?
Are they aware of their surroundings? OR do they walk around like everyone owes them something? It’s obvious which one’s more attractive.
Should I make a part two of this video? I feel like ai have so much more to say but time is running out. Let me know in the comments.
