so there's this great quote it only takes one lie to ruin a relationship because the reality is that once you plant that seed of Doubt once you plant that seed of Deceit you give a person reasons to now question everything that you got to say and that one lie can start to create all kinds of insecurities and create a very negative unhealthy environment in a relationship and it's just downright a problem that that so many people have faced and experienced in in their own relationships or situationships or whatever some people are getting involved in so
it begs the question why do men keep lying to women like why why are there so many men who are constantly telling lies especially when we consider so many are not even good at lying and eventually they're going to get caught anyway so it's almost like what what's really the purpose here and I get asked this question a lot by women trying to understand the motivation what what what is what is driving the the man's intent to take this route rather than just be honest about it now I'm going to break this whole thing down
and I need you I need you to listen to the end because there's a very important message I have for you at the end about this whole lying situation all right that you really have to understand and it's going to bring you a lot of peace and Clarity but let's start breaking down some of these reasons why men will lie to women and one of those reasons is because they're immature and have unresolved issues now this is not to simply just attack men or bash them but it it's the reality is that I I'm must
say this I I have a good friend of mine and we believe one of the pillars of being a man or even pillars of walking your masculinity is being honest like you have to accept that you're not going to always get what you want you got to accept that it's not going to always create the greatest scenario but you at least stand in your truth right and that takes maturity to understand and a maturity that a lot of men have yet to develop but before I go deeper into the maturity issue I want to go
into the deeper unresolved issues issue because I had a man recently reach out to me who said I need help I I love my woman you know she's great I don't want to lose her but I keep lying to her and I don't understand why it's not about anything important I'm just lying about nonsense really and I can't seem to stop myself from doing it can you help me so this is not to create sympathy so to speak for a liar but it is to speak to the reality that there are men with deeper unresolved
issues that cause caus them to lie and men like this it's not even just lying to women I I know of men who lied to their homeboys all the time about the stupidest stuff like it it's so unnecessary for them to lie and they still do it now from what I have examined right the root of it seems to be one some men in in in the insecurity they have and their seeking a level of attention validation they want people to look at him a certain way they tend to embellish everything so they tell lies
because they want to shine a good Spotlight on themselves they tell lies because they want to Hype up a situation because it's going to make them look good they're going to lie about what happened in a story because again they want to come out looking like the man or whatever the case may be this desire to be revered and looked at a certain kind of way pushes them to lie because the truth won't get them any points all right again not saying this is okay just explaining it to you another reason why some lie is
because they're just so insecure about themselves that they like they just they just feel like the truth will NE will never be good enough okay like somehow they it kind of goes back to the whole wanting to be viewed a certain kind of way they have to either add extra to a story or or they have to make certain things up because they want to come out looking a certain way and they feel like the real them isn't good enough for whatever they're trying to accomplish or however they're trying to be seen in people's eyes
okay then you you have deeper issues where some people just have grown up in very dysfunctional households and lying is almost a part of their life you know and they just habitually lie and those individuals need therapy they need help it's something that it's not anything you can fix in them okay they have to be willing to go uh address the deeper issues themselves and learn how to stand in their truth so going back to the fact that in in also their immaturity of it they have not learned how to accept the realities of what
happens when you lie and one of those realities is that that when you lie you are likely to create more lies trying to uphold the first lie okay so a lot of men do not understand and we and again we can honestly we can say people right but we're focusing on men but I just want to acknowledge we I think we all know PE men and women have told lies and tell lies right but a lot of people when they're younger and immature don't consider the fact of what Rabbit Hole your sending yourself down by
telling this initial lie and how exhausting it can be to have to uphold that lie with more lies and trying to cover your tracks and all this extra stuff that goes into it and so I think for a lot of people once you get older you realize it ain't worth it it ain't worth it once you m and when I say get older once you mature because that's the key you some people gotten older and still haven't gotten mature okay and some people are young and and have matured very quickly once you mature once you
gain wisdom and knowledge and understanding of things you realize it's just not worth it all right all that will come with it and then you could do all that work right try to cover all your tracks and you still get caught and found out so now you you have to deal with the exhausting process of keeping it going then you still have to deal with the consequences of them finding out you lied on top of the fact that now if it if it happens with a romantic relationship you have undermined the trust in that relationship
so these are things that a lot of men have not considered and instead are reacting in the moment okay and that's another sign of immaturity is not thinking ahead not understanding the bigger picture but instead just reacting in the moment to whatever it is they're fearful of or whatever they're trying to portray about themselves what the case may be but before I go to the next part I just want to reinfor or I I want to repeat to you the men that have the deeper issues as to why they lie and the immaturity of why
they lie trust and believe they're lying to everyone men and women I see it all the time so it is it speaks to their lack of development as an individual and hopefully in time they're gonna grow up and figure it out all right so now another reason why men lie to women is because he feels that if he tells you the truth he won't get what he actually wants okay so let's start with one of the most common things that men feel like they won't get if they're honest about it and that's sex let's just
you know we gonna keep it real here all right and you know I always laugh at the whole you you hear a lot of women say it you might be one of those women that'll say oh a man should if a man would just tell us that's what he wants then maybe he'll just get it right stop the nonsense like listen I it is it is best for a man to be honest and I encourage men to just be straightforward don't play games because again you want to give people an opportunity to make the decision
for themselves and know what they're getting themselves into to me we got to eliminate all the deceit and the games and all this type of stuff so at least if people want to engage in different situations and Casual relationships at least they're doing so understanding what it is rather than being led on that it's something else okay but if men really thought or if men saw that being straightforward about wanting to sleep with you actually would work they would do it all right they would have no problem doing it they don't do it because it
typically is not going to work now here's a interesting thing that I've observed you as a woman can correct me if I'm wrong or you may have a different opinion but I have spoken to some women who have acknowledged that there are some situations where the woman can come into the situation actually only wanting to sleep with the man as well right that's her only desire she doesn't view him as anything more she just wants to have fun with him however the minute he says to her directly I just want to sleep with you in
that sit is dead she don't want to do it no more like she she had no problem when it was her who essentially viewed him as just the play toy right but he still desired her versus to be made felt like that's all she is desired from him for and now it's like she feels like I I'm cheaping myself or devalue myself by allowing him to move forward now is that every woman's reaction no but that's what what some have acknowledged so I say all that to say a lot of men have experienced that being
straightforward doesn't get that result so what that lends to is now more men being vague about it which is why as a woman though men need to be honest you're never guaranteed if you're going to end up dealing with an honest man or a man who's going to lie so you have to equip yourself with how you can uh see through the ense and and evaluate what this man is really about and that's why it's important to ask questions that's why it's important to recognize the signs of a man who is trying to be serious
versus the signs of a man who just wants to sleep with you because he's not going to always give you that some men will some mene some if you just ask them they'll tell you right they may not come out and say it directly but if you flat out ask they're more likely to just answer the question honestly but if you don't they'll go along being vague because that has worked more efficiently for a lot of men and so whether it's just have sex whether it's for some men out there unfortunately they're out here using
women for a place to stay for a car to drive for help with the bills you name it he's not going to be honest about that because he knows that will undermine his ability to receive it and and let's face it that is that's probably one of the biggest driving forces for anyone to tell a lie is that they're afraid of not going to get what they wanted if they're honest about it and so again it's just something to understand and you have to realize that you can never rely on someone to be good to
you in the way that says they will present honesty versus you have to say I have to be ready to search out seek out that Honesty so so to speak or seek out that Clarity I think is a better way to put it um in order to make sure you don't fall into any unwanted situations with a man who's on a different page than you all right so let's keep this thing going and another reason why men lie to women is that he's not comfortable opening up to you okay so let's understand that not every
lie is about like some big overall situation that's like cheating or in inappropriate behavior things of that nature sometimes the lies are a lot small I use the word smaller in the sense of the magnitude of it uh but a lie is a lie you know what I'm saying and they can still wreak havoc even with the small eyes but let's face it sometimes it could be as simple as you asking him uh you know where he was at and let's just say he wasn't in the mood to talk to you he was shutting down
or maybe he felt like he couldn't he went to go talk to his mother or something he didn't want to make you feel some kind of way about it so he lied say oh no I was out playing ball but reality he was out speaking to his mom about a situation that you're wondering why he doesn't speak to me about it right and so there's a lot of men who in general or in General on average a lot of men struggle with opening up I think most of us and most of you can acknowledge that
that that you've seen that you You observe that but I do think that on top of men's own issue that they have to resolve of struggling to open up there is also the other layer of it where a lot of women don't realize how they've reacted in moments that he was opening up and then how that now affects his willingness to do so going forward now I am not someone who believes like if you can't open up to your partner because of how they react and handle things to me the answer isn't shut down the
answer isn't stop being honest about certain things the answer is address it and if it can't be corrected then maybe we don't belong in a relationship together but the unfortunate reality is that a lot of men choose to just deal with it but they deal with it in a very unhealthy way such as shutting down such as not being as forthcoming anymore one of the reasons why that happens is because for some men unfortunately the perception is this is a woman thing meaning all women are like this like I'm sure you've heard on the internet
before some of you may have heard where some have told men never open up to a woman or never be vulnerable with a woman she's going to throw it back in your face right and they view it as like this is just what happened so I'm not going to leave this woman for this reason because some other woman is going to do the same thing anyway I'm just going to deal with it but again I'm not going to be as as transparent with her as I would have been initially so that's a wrong way of
handling it absolutely but as a woman you do have to be mindful of how you react because sometimes you don't recognize that you allow your emotions to get the best of you in that moment and how you may have reacted very negatively or how you may have been very dismissive in that moment that he was opening up or and we're going to talk about a little bit more later very judgmental we'll get into that later there's various things that happen in moments that men try to be more vulnerable or the the big one is if
whatever it is he needs to be honest about and vulnerable about vulnerable about is something that he feels will cause him to lose respect in your eyes that leads to a lot of shutting down being dishonest all these things because that's one of the biggest fears a man has with a woman um especially if he if he cares about how you feel like he he he's really genuine about being with you and he's into you he doesn't want you to view him in a less respectful manner you know what I'm saying that that's a a
knife to the heart for a lot of men for the woman that you care about to not have that respect for you anymore so that unfortunately creates these situations or contributes I want to say contributes to a lot of these situations so I think the way that we nav naate through this specific one is one I think it's important for everyone when we're dating or in a relationship is to create the parameters of how we communicate the parameters of how we open up about very serious issues and situations maybe even starting off with hey I
want to talk to you about this but I you know I don't want you to look at me differently now does that always guarantee that you won't depending on what he's about to reveal of course not right but it's kind of like the trigger word that says hey be mindful of how you react right now because even if he reveals something to you that you don't like or that you find unacceptable whatever unless you're prepared to leave that man right there there's no point in reacting bad in that moment okay so my thing is if
if he says for examp I don't have a good example right now but if he reveals something you don't like it and this thing is not enough to where you're going to leave him let's just use the fact that oh um my ex reached out to me the other day and I was on the phone with her for like an hour and she asked some questions and you know damn you don't like that you feel like that was disrespectful why would you allow this woman to sit there and have this conversation with you and not
tell me about it in advance right that may or may not be your position but let's just say that's your position if you react bad in that moment negative in that moment you think he's going to be honest about with you the next time something like that occurs no right because he doesn't want all the negativity that comes with it but if you learn how to just stay calm it doesn't mean you have to like it doesn't mean you're accepting it doesn't mean you're you're deeming it acceptable it just means you're allowing yourself to process
hear it out and calmly express your disappointment or your disagreement with it that at least helps it it can still lead to that man not being as open next time but that's different if if you are responding in a healthy manner then it is then is completely on him if he tries to use that as a reason to not be honest moving forward you know what I'm saying but if you react in a very negative manner you're adding fuel to the fire of him shutting down and I think that's something that we have to discuss
in advance as far as how we create that environment that safe space so that we can be open and vulnerable with each other as much as possible all right so let's keep this going another reason why men lie and I I mentioned it so let's dive a little deeper into it he fears your judgment okay so I I'll say this I I feel like this actually happens more with women in the sense of women holding back certain truths and not always being as honest as could be because they're concerned about how the man will judge
them and look at them going forward but this does happen with the men as well all right and judgment has the fear of judgment has paralyzed a lot of people in a lot of different ways and not only does it lead to like a Flatout verbal lie for a lot of people it it can lead to a lot of people lying in how they present themselves and being their true self okay like I I'm a firm believer that if you want to be able to one see if somebody truly fits into your life as quickly
as possible and you want to be able to see their true colors as fast as possible for the sake of recognizing that maybe they're just not it right you want to create an environment that of no justice judgment okay so it's basically cuz cuz understand there's a difference between judgment and recognizing we're not a good fit here okay so for example let's just say you meet a man and he's into really kinky stuff some super freaky things okay and some people will immediately come off very judgmental look that you're n oh that's so nasty what's
wrong with you blah blah blah blah blah right and to me the problem with that is especially again if you're not prepared to just walk away you've created an environment where now they're going to be afraid to show their true selves because of how you look down on them versus I can sit here and say oh okay you into those types of things I get it I mean I don't know if I get it but I understand that's your your taste and hey that's you do you that makes you happy cool but I that I
that won't work for me like I I don't think I can engage in those acts right so I'm not judging you I'm not calling you out in any kind of way I'm not looking down on you but I can still say hey nah that doesn't fit how I like to get down I think we should go our separate ways you know what I'm saying and to me that's better because again so many people I there are people who have gotten married never shown their partner the true death of who they are because of the fear
of judgment and I think this happens even more so in couples that are believers all right and and what do you want to call it religious or spiritual couples um and this could be Muslim Christian whatever if the other person so let's just say the the man or the woman gets with a partner who is very religious right very by the book but they really like this person this person is a good person they they become very fearful of exposing those sides of them that maybe uh don't go well with the belief system all right
or what some in that belief system may look down upon now again people may differ like for example the one that's coming to mind right now don't judge me but like there are some believers who believe that oral sex is unnatural and should not be done and that's and you're nasty and what's wrong with you how could you put that in your I'm sorry but they they think it's disgusting okay and now me personally I think it's one of the greatest things ever created but that's a whole different discussion and listen I get it if
if you're if you're someone who feels that that is not appropriate fine I I don't think we to go so we're going to run through these kind of quick so another reason why men lie to women or a man will lie to a woman is bottom line he's just not that serious about you all right and the reality is that when a man is not serious about a woman a lot of men don't want it's like they want to create this emotional distance so to speak so they're not going to be transparent they're not going
to be open they're not going to be always honest about things one because they don't care to tell you the truth they don't care to be real with you they don't care to give you Insight or allow you to get any closer to them emotionally because they're trying to keep this at a very surface level and enjoy you for whatever they're trying to enjoy you for or get out of you whatever they're trying to get out of you so they have no intention of being real with you all right now again you one can say
well being real isn't that hard but understand that if he's not serious about you but he's trying to still deal with you then chances are he will also fall into one of the other categories of essentially he's going to lie because he knows the truth will stop him from getting what he wants okay so whatever he's trying to use you for he can't just say that's what it is he can't just say yeah I'm just trying to have some fun here in that sit now listen some guys will keep it that real some guys will
tell you straight up I'm not looking for nothing serious I just want to have fun that's it go go with the float you know I tell y'all that whole go with the float thing that's a dangerous phrase when people use that you got to be careful but you know some will say that and and as a woman you have to really be mindful of not like I know we say actions speak louder than words but when it comes to relationships and dating the words and the actions have to be consistently aligning together okay if one
is inconsistent with the other there's a problem and and you you almost have to I want to say you have to default to what's being said but even that can be dangerous because he could say yeah I really want to be with you but his actions show you something different you almost have to default to the the lower of the two here's what I mean by that which if one of them is showing a lack of true intention a lack of seriousness a lack of real desire to be with you whether that's the actions or
the words you almost have to roll with that but I can tell you that if a man is willing to come out of his mouth and say to you I'm not looking for anything serious I'm just trying to have fun I the relationship he means that he means that I I don't care if he says that and follows It Up by buying you flowers the next day treats you to Beautiful Things takes you to a nice restaurant take you on this amazing trip throw flower petals on your bed I don't care what romantic thing that
man does if he has has allowed the word to come out of his mouth I don't want a relationship I Just Want to Have Fun so on and so forth he means that take him at that word right there and you have to make your decision if you know that's not what you're about that's not what you're interested in let him go do not let the other actions confuse you okay and just so you know like I there's a book uh I I wrote called he's lying sis you can check it out go to he's
liing cis.com pick the link the description or the comment section but there's a chapter called he doesn't want a girlfriend but he acts like your boyfriend and it breaks down how a lot there's men out there who can engage in these very boyfriend even husband acts while still having no desire to ever be fully committed to you so you want to be mindful of that but this is another one of those contributing factors to why these men Li he's just not serious about you so again we got a couple more I said that last time
but for real we got a couple more so the the next one another reason why men will lie to women and hear me out because this might make some of y'all react a certain kind of way but hear me out because the perception of the belief is you can't handle the truth all right so whether that specifically applies to you as a woman the reality is that a lot of men have experienced being honest being forthcoming and only having the woman react very poorly or let's go even beyond that and let's use the whole I
don't want a relationship thing I I know of situations where men have given me the story and I know there's always two sides but I I've even had this acknowledged by some women where the man can meet the woman and say I don't want relationship I have no plans on anything serious here or even had some stories where men would tell a woman I have no intentions of ever being monogamous okay that's just who I am that's how I get down if you're cool with that cool but that's it all right or even telling the
woman I have a a woman that is my main girl so you will only ever be second at best okay the woman says all right cool I hear you I'm done down with it they continue they continue throughout the process it's being repeated this is what it is boom boom boom boom all this stuff and then in the end let's just say things escalate between him and his main woman or whatever and then the the woman on the side is like oh my gosh how could you do this to me you betrayed me H how
are you now going to be more with her and it's like wait a minute he was telling you the whole situation the entire a time and so you'll have these men feel like what is the point of being honest if one you don't even accept what I'm saying to you and again I am in no way saying this is an excusable reason or an acceptable reason to lie I'm just telling you what the process or the the mindset is by some men and what you know what's happening in some of these situations it's almost like
yo if I tell you the truth you react poorly I can tell you the truth and you'll act like I never told you this is what it was I I can tell you the truth and I still have to deal with nonsense so it's almost like you're better off lying and you've had some women Believe It or Not There are literal videos out there in the internet floating around of women who will say I rather be lied to out of the woman's mouth I'd rather be lied to so and I've even seen some videos and
again I don't agree with this nonsense but like if the man really cares about a woman he'll lie to her there's a lot of dysfunctional beliefs that are passed down but ultimately the point that I want to make here is that it these these various scenario situations lead to the perception of the woman can't handle the truth anyway all right she doesn't know how to just process it take it for what it is or not make it a bigger thing than what it needs to be and So to avoid all this extra drama or unnecessary
nonsense to in that Man's eyes is he rather just tell a lie and so this kind of goes back to why and I mentioned this in the book as well the more you can create an environment of honesty the better for you because again it allows you to see through the person or see the person for who they are as fast as possible but when we create envir or when we contribute to environment that can cause someone to feel like they just can't be real with you we're only undermining our own ability to then get
the information that we need so to speak that doesn't make it your fault it's about how do you equip yourself to give yourself the best opportunity to get the clarity that you need in situations all right but the whole you can handle the truth is definitely something that a lot of men believe and and is a reason why they choose to lie to women all right now last but not least and remember I have a important message I need you to hear the last reason why men lie to women is because you accept it now
what I mean by that is this if you are dealing with a man he has told you lies and you allow this man to continue to be with you despite these lies and again like I I don't think giving somebody a chance after telling One Lie is a bad thing because again there's various reasons it depends on the the context of the situation there's a lot we have to to look at but if the lying is a repeated pattern of behavior and you continue to deal with him despite no matter how much you kick scream
have an attitude withhold intimacy whatever as long as you continue to be with him you are sending the signal that this is essentially acceptable again your words can say something different but if you're going to still be with him you're basically telling him all right so to him is yeah I'll take my chances at telling the lie to avoid whatever unwanted outcome I'm trying to avoid or to get what I want or whatever the case may be because at the end of the day even if you catch me you ain't going nowhere and listen if
he's repeatedly lied even if you caught him seven times that don't mean he didn't lie 10 other times that you just didn't catch him so to him is like all right I'll play the odds at that point because again you're not leaving him it's when he sees not even even then if he had depending what the issue is but if there's no true consequence to his actions why would there be a correction to his actions and so you you got to be mindful of you are not enabling unhealthy behavior in a relationship you are not
essentially giving the signal that this is in some way acceptable all right and so you gotta you gotta back up that with not just your words but your actions your actions of letting him go your actions of walking away your actions of expressing to him listen if this can't be corrected we can't continue and then if he does it again that's it all right but the message I really need you to understand is this no matter the reason why a man is lying and again I think we all can agree lying is is wrong lying
is we need to create a more honest transparent environment in all our relationships we need to we need to all be more honest and transparent as well but the fact is everyone on this face on the face of this Earth has told a lot before whether it be you view it as very small or big or whatever everyone has done it and I I say that not to validate or make lying okay I say that to one help you understand do not inter people lying or men lying cuz I see women who go to the
situation and they're they're dwelling on why did he lie why can't he just tell me the truth and it's like listen it's really just all the things I mentioned in this video but you don't need to view it as like why did he lie to me as if it's something about you now again I I I talked earlier about the whole are we creating an environment that we can be honest and transparent But ultimately it's still though we can contribute to some of these environments it still boils down to to this person's willingness to do
what they need to do to be more honest and forthcoming so don't internalize The Man Who Lies but also understand that we have all fallen short in this way and I do think that there are some situations where a lie has been told and people are so quick to react and crucify and condemn and it's like take a step back because you lied the other day like like think about it it's like wait a minute you you may have not got caught with your lie but you lied too so don't be so quick to demonize
this individual for a lie and and and notice I said a lie because again it's different there's a difference between the person who tells a lie and the person who is a liar as far as I see it because the liar to me is the person who continuously does this it is part of their character it is repeated Behavior vers is the person who is typically extremely honest with you very open but in a moment they made the bad choice of not keeping it real for a deeper reason that is fixable and we don't have
to throw the whole relationship away all right so consider that consider that but ultimately know that honesty is what we need if we want to experience healthier and happier relationships thank you for watching watching this video I hope it was helpful to you be sure to watch this one over here on seven tactics men will use to try to manipulate women so the unfortunate reality is there's a lot of manipulative men out there all right now I do