and the host. Thanks for coming. Thanks for watching.
We are beating to you from beautiful Los Angeles, California, home of the 2028 Summer Olympic Games. We're having the Olympics here, GMO, you know that, right? Yes, Jim.
I'm happy. >> That's the next Olympics. We still have one to get through.
And in Milan, Italy, the Winter Olympics are officially underway as of tonight. Who's ready for two weeks of trying to figure out the difference between the bob sled and luge? Huh?
They should just call the luge ass sledding. It would save a lot of confusion. The United States sent 232 athletes, each of whom has the chance to win a gold medal that could one day be worn around the president's flabby neck.
It's very exciting. Sadly, we are not legally permitted to share any footage from the events because they are on NBC and I guess NBC paid for them, but we can show you dogs. In New York last night, they had the 150th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Joe.
This has been going on since 1876. It is a quirky but wholesome American tradition. And we happen to have another quirky but wholesome American tradition.
Every year since uh I don't know, maybe 2010, we've been using cuttingedge green screen technology to remove the dogs from the Westminster dog show. And here's what that looks like for 2026. Thank you.
It's great. There's very little cleanup. I like it better.
The top dog this year was an underdog dog, a female named Penny, who beat out more than 2,000 other canines and three ugly human beings. the 42nd female for best in show and first Doberman since 1989. >> Well, shouldn't it be technically Doberw woman if it is a female?
I don't a Doberman pincher to me seems like an odd choice with the country careening into fascism right I mean I'm sure Penny is very sweet cute dog but like when Mr Burn says release the hounds. That dog is what comes running out. In Minneapolis, human Doberman Tom Hman today announced that the government is finally backing off a little, pulling back on agents of ICE.
Given this increase in unprecedented collaboration and as a result of the need for less law enforcement officers to do this work in a safer environment, I have announced effective immediately we will draw down 700 people effective today. >> Very good. All right.
Now only 2,000 more to go. It's never in my lifetime did I imagine that that we'd be celebrating a troop withdrawal from Minnesota. But 700 agents as we speak are packing up their 48 waist 28 inseam Carhe hard pants and their triple XXL Punisher t-shirts and heading home.
Get ready. 700 moms of ICE agents. Your boys are coming back to the basement.
Even the president today, even Donald Trump admitted today that his administration could use a quote softer touch when it comes to immigration. That way, these guys can save their energy for when they help him strongarm the midterms. The midterm elections are nine months away.
And it's become very clear that Trump is going to do anything he can to tip the scales. Trump has called for Republicans to nationalize voting and take over in about 15 states. In the House, squeaker Mike Johnson is pushing something called the Save Act, which would require a passport or a birth certificate when you register to vote to make it as difficult as possible for people to vote.
And the greasiest, sloppiest maggoteer of all of them, Steve Bannon, is now openly calling for armed ICE agents outside the polls on election day. >> You're damn right. We're going to have ICE surround the polls come November.
We're not going to sit here and allow you to steal the country again. >> That's right. The guy who went to prison, the guy who plead guilty to swindling the very dumbest Trumpers out of money to build the wall, which I can only assume he spent on sausage McMuffins and pork rinds.
The man who's all over the Epstein files is not going to allow Democrats to steal the country. Remember when Trump promised we wouldn't ever have to vote again if he got reelected? It seems to be the one promise that he intends to keep.
Uh uh speaking of rigged outcomes, the Melania documentary. Now, allegedly, allegedly they exceeded box office expectations. They had the best opening for a non-musical documentary in 10 years, which I think is a fancy way of saying it only lost tens of millions of dollars.
A lot of people, myself included, have been wondering how this movie managed to sell $7 million worth of tickets last weekend when almost every theater seemed to be empty leading up to the release. Well, there are reports now suggesting that those beautiful box office numbers may have been boosted by bulk ticket purchases that were handed out to people for free. And if you don't believe this is the kind of thing they would do, you may be forgetting that back in 2019, the Republican National Committee bought a $100,000 worth of Don Jr.
's book to put in swag bags to make it a New York Times bestseller. Don Junior's book debuted number one on the New York Times bestseller list despite the fact that no one has ever read it. No one is No one has ever even opened that book.
It's It might be filled with bright pages. We will never know. Sources say there were signs that blocks of tickets to Melania were purchased and then distributed to Republican activists in senior citizens homes, which are really the same thing.
And but imagine those poor senior citizens. Good morning, Mr. Greenwald.
Here your your heart pills and here are your your liver pills. And uh here's a pair of tickets to Melania. Now, to be fair, some people actually did go to see the movie, including this group who call themselves the church ladies.
The rest of us call them the dumb as a rockets, but they call themselves, they look like they've dressed up as a group of redacted documents from the Epstein files, right? It's all very sus, as the as the kids like to say. Do the kids still say sus?
>> Yeah. >> Yeah. Okay.
As of tonight, Melania has a score of 5% on Rotten Tomatoes from the critics. That is very low. To put that in perspective, that is 1% lower than Jely.
Okay, but that's just what the loser and hater critics had to say. The audience score for Melania is 99% positive, which is 1% higher than The Godfather. And I'm sure Donald J.
Corleone had nothing to do with that at all. We need to get to the bottom of this. Send in Tulsi Gabbard and the FBI.
Seize the ticket machines, the popcorn buckets, the box office receipts at every multiplex in America. Jeff Bezos, who paid for that garbage, just laid off hundreds of journalists at the Washington Post. I guess he spent all the budget on Melania.
Well, well done, Jeff. And then we have our future first lady, the next Mr. Donald Trump, Nicki Minaj, who sat down with Steven Miller's wife to talk about how her support for Trump might one day express itself in her music.
>> Is any of this kind of I don't want to say change, but this evolution of Nicki Minaj going to be represented in new music that you may publish. >> Yes. >> Okay.
So what you're saying is things could get worse because maybe we'll finally get a collab between Nicki Minaj and Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnik. That would be Howard Lutnik seemed to have a very chummy relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, which is the opposite of how he described their relationship. His name appears in the files 137 times.
But Trump doesn't care. He said yesterday, "I think it's time for the country to get on to something else. " FBI Director Cash Patel, that uh that bugeyed little toilet frog, is making the rounds with friendly conservative media outlets right now to whitewash his participation in this.
In September of last year, Cash Patel claimed there was no credible information that Epstein trafficked minors to others. The files seem to clearly say otherwise, but Cash he doesn't have any regrets at all. >> Do you have regrets about how it's been handled?
>> Look, like any other hot topic issue, the American public and the world had a great interest in this. And what we did under President Trump's leadership is produce the most transparent DOJ in FBI history. >> Look at the emails.
You can see how transparent they are. Like look at this email. It says, "Thank you for a fun night.
Your littlest girl was a little naughty. " Oh. Oh, there's it's blacked out.
Oh, this one says, "I can't take any margin. So, the most beautiful little girl on Madison with long soft blonde hair. " Oh, that name is black.
Both the names are completely blacked out. Why are those names black out? I mean, that's really the only question you need to ask.
Maybe there's a good reason. I don't know. I get that people probably a lot of the people whose names are in there didn't do anything criminal, but why are the names on those emails blacked out?
Is it possible that Cash Patel doesn't know what the word transparency means? Maybe he's confusing it with opaque. GMO, will you get an answer on this for me, please?
>> Yeah, sure. I will. Okay.
Thank you. You know, it was very warm here today. Uh the high in New York today, 30°.
In LA, it was 88°. It even I'm not sure we should be happy about the end of the world, but it's nice. In Florida, the winter weather is even having a strange effect on our strangest state.
Um, and it is hitting the iguana population especially hard, as seen in tonight's lizard edition of This Week in Florida. Jessica, tell us what is happening. Why are these iguanas frozen?
>> Right. Of course, iguanas are coldblooded animals. So, as soon as it gets to freezing, we end up having iguanas fall out the trees here in South Florida.
>> What do you do with them after you pick up all of these all around the city? >> Well, of course, we contact our Trinidadian friends and all the people that like to eat iguanas. So, a lot of different cultures eat iguanas and they eat the eggs and they eat the legs and they eat the tail.
So, this is easy snacks falling out the trees this morning. >> Seems very upbeat. I love how easily Florida can turn a like a biblicalsized climate change event into a snack.
Speaking of snacks, the Super Bowl's on Sunday. And of course, Super Bowl, of course, is traditionally one of the biggest days for junk food and that whatnot, but that was before the Trump administration made America healthy again. And tonight we have a special guest tonight to share some smarter Super Bowl snack options.
And I I would love you to help me welcome and please welcome our Secretary of Health and Human Services, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Jr.
>> Hi there, Bob. >> HANG ON. I'M JUST GETTING IN A QUICK WORKOUT.
>> OKAY. ALL RIGHT. >> OKAY.
Thank you for being here. I'm I know how uh busy you've been rebooting Measles, so we're really happy to have you here. >> YOU'RE WELCOME.
I'M HAPPY TO SAY THE MEASLES IS BACK, BABY. >> YEAH. SO, uh All right, let's do this.
What are you eating during game day weekend? >> Healthy alternatives. >> UH-HUH.
>> DO YOU LIKE POTATO CHIPS? >> I LOVE potato chips. I'M YES.
>> BUT POTATO CHIPS ARE POISONED. THAT'S HOW LIZO DIED. THIS IS NOT DEAD.
Wait a minute. That's not true at all. That has That is no basis.
>> I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S ACCURATE. >> LISTEN, INSTEAD OF GREASY CHIPS, I REACH FOR A HANDFUL OF THESE BABY CARROTS. >> ALL RIGHT.
OKAY. That's a good tip. All right.
>> PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS ASKING ME AND ALWAYS WONDERING WHERE DO BABY carrots come from? >> They're asking YOU THAT QUESTION. >> OH, ALL THE TIME.
AND THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE. TO GET A BABY CARROT, YOU HAVE TO AN ADULT GROWNUP CARROT. WATCH.
>> Maybe >> maybe not a great idea to do that around THE SNACK. >> BE QUIET. I'M ALMOST DONE.
>> OH, BABY. >> UH-HUH. >> AND NOW WE JUST WAIT 9 MONTHS.
>> OKAY. All right. Well, we now know how baby carrots are made.
What about wings? You got to have wings at the Super Bowl, RIGHT? >> ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
>> YOU HAVE TO HAVE WINGS. BUT >> CHICKEN WINGS ARE HIGH IN TRANS FATS. >> AND PRESIDENT TRUMP DOESN'T ALLOW TRANS OF ANY KIND, ESPECIALLY NOT THE FAT ONES.
SO, IF YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE WINGS, DO WHAT I DO. EAT BAT WINGS. BAT WINGS.
>> YES, bat wings. >> NOW, WAIT. WHAT KIND OF BATS are these?
>> FRUIT BATS. THAT MEANS THEY ALSO GIVE YOU A FULL SERVING OF FRUIT. >> That can't possibly BE TRUE.
>> I DIDN'T GO THROUGH EIGHT YEARS OF MEDICAL SCHOOL TO BE SECOND GUESSED BY SOME DIRTY VACCINATED ITALIAN. >> You didn't go through any years of medical SCHOOL AT ALL. >> WELL, I I I GUTTED A BABY MOOSE WITH A CAMPING SPOON.
OKAY, >> close enough. All right, let's get back to our uh our foods here. >> Mind if I perch?
>> What does that mean? >> Perch. It's this.
>> It's a little more comfortable. >> Okay. All right.
>> Nice. Right. >> It's very nice.
Yeah. >> Yes. >> Uh-huh.
>> I feel very CLOSE TO YOU. A LITTLE too close. Yeah, I do.
>> Anyway, BACK TO THE WING. STOP FLIRTING. >> A LOT OF PEOPLE LIKE TO USE HOT SAUCE.
YES, I LOVE HOT SAUCE. I use hala. >> WELL, IF YOU WANT YOUR WINGS TO REALLY BLISTER THE OLD BEEHOLE, TRY MY SECRET INGREDIENTS.
>> What is that? >> NOW, GRAB THE GRAB THE TRAY OF WINGS. >> OKAY.
>> PICK UP THE TRAY OF WINGS. ALL RIGHT. >> And now, grab that red balloon.
>> Okay. >> AND YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO EMPTY ALL THAT WHITE POWDER ALL OVER IT >> IN THE BALLOON. >> OH, YEAH.
YEAH. YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO USE THE WHOLE BALLOON. JUST SPREAD THAT AROUND.
>> All right. >> Oh, yeah. >> All right.
Now, what is this cornstarch we're putting on THE WINGS? >> CORN STARCH? NO, IT'S KETAMINE.
>> KETAMINE. >> THAT'S RIGHT. LET ME JUST GIVE IT A SNIFF TO MAKE SURE.
>> OKAY, BABY. THAT'S A FRESH MATCH, MA. >> All right.
Okay. So, we got wings, we got carrots, we don't have potato chips. What are we going to do for halftime?
What are WE GOING TO EAT? >> WHAT? HALFTIME?
WELL, THIS YEAR HALFTIME IS VERY CONTROVERSIAL. >> I'VE HEARD >> BAD BUNNY. YOU KNOW, HE'S A MEXICAN.
>> He No, he is not a Mexican. He is Puerto Rican. >> WHATEVER HE IS, THE PRESIDENT DOESN'T LIKE IT.
SO, IN MY HOUSE, EVERYONE LOVES THE PUPPY BALL. >> OH, YOU WATCH THE PUPPY BALL? >> NO, WE DON'T WATCH IT.
WE EAT IT. You eat puppies IN YOUR HOUSE. >> WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
LET HIM GO TO WASTE. YOU ROAST THAT LITTLE BAD LARRY FOR A FEW HOURS. THE PUPPY MEAT FALLS RIGHT OFF OF THE BONE.
>> OKAY. NOW, WHILE JIMMY IS STUFFING THIS PUPPY WITH BREADCRUMBS, I'M GOING TO TEACH YOU. >> I am not stuffing this puppy with breadcrumbs.
I am going to take this puppy away from you. >> OH, LOOK. A JIMMY HOLLYWOOD.
HE'S WORRIED ABOUT CABBO HYDRATES. >> You know what? I think our time is up.
GMO, would you please escort the secretary to his cyber truck? >> What? COME ON.
>> OH NO, IT'S BAD BUNNY. >> GET OFF ME. >> FOR MORE RECIPES, GO TO MY WEBSITE ROADKILL.
COM/ EAT GUNS. RAW BUTTER COLORS. >> Thank you.
Go >> Robert Kennedy Jr. Jr. We have a good show tonight.
Michael Irvin is here and we'll be right back with Kate Hudson.
