lame is not a strategy for a meaningful life blame is not a strategy for greatness there's no Pride that comes from blame self-esteem does not come from what people say about you self-esteem comes from what you experience about yourself that's why I'm here talking to you right now it's getting people to be free and alive and have the level of fulfillment that they deserve to have I know they desire but I also believe they deserve that but to deserve to have it you got to do certain things you've been hypnotized by a culture of weakness
if someone can get your goat if someone can piss you off if someone can make you feel less than grow if you're not happy you're not growing in some area and usually it's a place where you're blaming you're pointing the finger don't get me wrong people can be unfair unjust that's for sure happens but you can't control that you can't make it not happen what you have to do is become stronger than any of it so you're free Freedom comes from growth Freedom does not come from control now if you focus on What's Missing all
the time and what you can't control you're gonna be depressed your depression is not a Zoloft deficiency it is the fact that you were doing something in your mind that is producing that depression and if you constantly focus on What's Missing and what you can't control you tend to focus more on things in the past choice is a gift it's always there you can choose what you focus on and what you focus on is what you're going to experience you can focus on things that make you suffer you can focus on things that make you
grateful the mindset has to be destroy any limitation and move forward move forward move forward there is a way move forward if you don't experience life you experience the life you focus on and what you focus on is based on beliefs and values whatever you believe you tend to see that progress equals happiness if you keep growing you're gonna feel alive and if you keep growing you're going to have more to give and when you're growing and giving is when life is magnificent it doesn't matter how many statues Oscars they give you or Emmys or
how much money you have in the bank so it's really an inner game and I think that's what's missing for us today your growth is the only limit to your happiness you're not in the place of being overweight because you lost your job so stop the bull blame blame is not a strategy for a meaningful life blame is not a strategy for greatness so you got to resolve that number one see someone tell your whole life you're a piece of crap and if part of you go you're full of it I'm gonna show you lots
of people have done that they never bought it or someone tell you you're beautiful your whole life you go I'm not really beautiful so what people tell you it doesn't matter at all it's what you stack it's what you assemble it's what you create it's the habit of what you put in your head and today I don't blame you because we got a whole culture that's always blaming somebody else for something in their life but blame is not a strategy for Pride that's why you're listening is blaming people they're all Angry all the time what's
the one thing to focus on if you only focus on what I think it's smart to focus on one thing primarily but then the answer would be whichever thing your most desirest of changing whatever thing is giving you the most pain so if it's a relationship I go full force on that now in the world we're in today you know you don't usually have the the privilege of going okay I want to work on just being happy well I can train to be happy while Health breaking this you probably have to work on both your
business or financial side and some personal side I would be working on both and to me the way to attack that if you're not sure which area is to start with the body I always teach physiology first change the body you'll change the emotions you need to change the emotions you'll change your decisions you'll change the quality of your life because the quality of life is your emotions it's not what you get you have a billion dollars and commit suicide people have done it you can have beautiful relationships in commit suicide you can have people
loving you and be sad all the time our pattern of emotion is our home and you have to upgrade your home you have to train it and one way to train it is the emotion comes the way you move the way you breathe the way you speak when I used to be depressed I don't get it anymore I just took it out of my life I even took the language of it out of my life because the words you create create a biochemical response but when I did that decades ago because I was like having
those thoughts like is there a reason to still be here that kind of crazy in your head I got out of it by using anger originally I'd much like sometimes if somebody's really sad or depressed I'll make them angry be like what's he doing to make them angry because anger is much more resourceful than depressed from anger I can get you to laughter I'm getting you know taking action so and then gradually I got why I didn't need anger it was about growth it was about contributions about meaning is it really that the the entrenched
depression is just the way that people think or is there something so real to trauma that it's sending you into a neurochemical Cascade that you can't get out of in any simple way 20 billion dollars did some of the most interesting studies in the world and we didn't move uh you know one person out of depression the bottom line is biochemistry is part of it but it is related to what we focus on and what we feel I can change your biochemistry in a heartbeat close your eyes and have you imagine one thing I can
disrupt you put produce fear close your eyes produce something else we can produce a parasympathetic effect a calming effect so you cannot separate the mind and the body you know together and so my Approach is both I believe in physiology first but it isn't biochemical it's the way you move it's the way you breathe it's the way you gesture if I said to you there's a depressed person behind curtain number one over here and I'll give you a hundred thousand dollar donation to your favorite charity if you can describe their posture everyone knows what's their
posture like where's their head down down where's the shoulders slouch are they breathing full or shallow shallow that's right are they talking loud or quiet soft fast or slow slow but if you take that same person I don't care what's going on with them and you put their shoulders back and you have them breathe different and they speak at a different Tempo and they move their biochemistry changes like that so you gotta shift the way the body's been used but then also you have to create a compelling future so that's why you know I really
believe exercise is one of the most important elements pushing someone beyond their normal Comfort zones physiologically while you're simultaneously are working on their head creating something so you need strong physiology you need a really clear Focus because you're only experiencing what you focus on you need something that gets you to move forward and like I feel so bad for the generation today you know Z generation Millennials because so many of them are now talking about not even having children because of the exaggeration of the problems we've always had problems I remember we're gonna run out
of oil that where the the ozone was going to be destroyed we've always had these challenges and we've always learned to adapt to these challenges whatever those challenges may be but people today think these problems are forever because we've had some times here that we've never had where we literally shut down the whole world and had people trapped in their homes and that has an effect on people because they don't have a compelling future there's something inside you that's bigger than anything that's ever happened to you that ever could happen to you and tapping in
and finding that part of yourself is how you get someone to have sustained strengths they have a reason to do it a compelling Future something they're going for and it's got to be a compelling future about more than just getting by that's not compelling or surviving or doing okay you know the secret to anyone who succeeded is they found something they care about more than themselves as human beings if you get in your head you're dead almost all of us can find something to be upset about that's the nature of the Mind the mind is
constantly dissecting things separating comparing but when you look at it back and you take a look at somebody's life and you look at the totalitarian great aspect of what am I here to serve what am I here to give what am I being called to for Life those are the people that you know were in concentration camps and survived you know if you read Man's Search or meaning Victor Frankel one of my favorite people on earth right this entire piece was they had a will to live because they had a completely future they said I'm
going to live so that I can tell the story so it'll never happen again they suffered the most intense suffering but they made it through it because they had a compelling future so identity and compelling future are the ultimate things that shape people why are they so depressed if they're taking into depressant because all they had a present does is numb you but they're still focusing what's missing they're still focused on what they can't control they're still focused on past or present that's not the way they wanted to be or making up a future that's
scary well you're going to be depressed no matter what unless you take control of those factors I don't see it as a rationale I see it as a gift choice is a gift it's always there you can choose what you focus on and what you focus on is what you're going to experience you can focus on things that make you suffer you can focus on things that make you grateful [Music]