[Music] [Applause] [Music] welcome you to another episode of managing differences in relationship and marriage today we'll be discussing another important ingredient in managing differences in relationship and marriage and the ingredient we'll be talking about today is your first reaction to things [Music] the english addict says first impression lasts longer and you must know that your first reaction to situations and things around you determines a lot with your relationship and marriage so let not your first reaction be objection when there's an issue there's a matter to be discussed there's a matter to be responded to as
an agreement to be reached and there are issues to be resolved don't let your first reaction to everything be objection when your first reaction to everything is is objection then it means that you have a large deposit of negativity in you and that kind of attribute is not good for relationship or marriage so let not your first reaction be objection to everything before you understand the detail somebody says i am hungry you say how can you be hungry now we just did you eat breakfast in the morning why are you hungry now you should have
listened to say ah why are you hungry now we had two hours ago and give him or her opportunity to explain himself before you jump into that kind of conclusion so don't always raise objection particularly about matters that are not your ideas if you find yourself only at home with matters that are your ideas then you are selfish and selfishness does not help relationships and marriage remember we've mentioned sometimes in one of our teachings that marriage is not for selfish people one of the things that keep the wheel of progress moving in marriage is selflessness
the practice involved must be selfless and part of your demonstration of the nature of selflessness in you is by hearing everything out before you take action so don't always you know object at first a man with a negative attitude is a snail to himself when a person's first reaction to every matter and everybody is objection he or she is on a journey of loneliness and destination the destination is depression when your first reaction is objection to everything objection everything objection everything objection especially with your marriage partner then you are soon on a journey to loneliness
and when you are lonely depression is your nestor neighbor so don't lead yourself into loneliness by always objecting everything first hear out get explanation seek clarification like we always say so this is because such a person will naturally lose friends and acquaintances don't be uncivilized in relationship and marriage you can be uncivilized always asserting yourself always wanting to establish your own view and opinion about things and you know discarding the suggestions the opinions and and the and and and the views of the other party when your partner's opinion and views are jettisoned or are not
respected then you are selfish and you must deal with that spirit of selfishness so don't be uncivilized on civilized people are they know all they know everything every other person is foolish around them they are the ones that are wisest the more they are the ones that are wisest and they don't respect their partner so be a good listener it is rude not to listen to other people be a good listener let your partner have a voice in your marriage let your partner have a voice let your partner hear his own opinion or our own
opinion don't constitute yourself to mister know all don't constitute yourself to misses no all such a person does not exist anywhere even if what he or she is saying is off point let him or her finish before you attack the discussion from his mouth before you exact the discussion from my mouth even when it is off point when was she saying does not make sense here out first and avoid criticizing whatever he or she has said and politely present your opinion on the subject matter you can raise a contrary opinion on the subject matter by
avoiding attacking your partner's opinion because by the time you start by attacking your partner's opinion you will end up attacking your partner you will leave his opinion or opinion then you will attack his or her personality and as a result of that the differences we are trying to manage we degenerate into a full-blown crisis let's see what the scripture says in proverbs chapter 15 verse 28 proverbs 15 28 says the heart of the righteous studied to answer but the mouth of the wicked poured out evil things the mouth of the righteous studied to answer sorry
the heart of the righteous studied to answer but the mouth of the wicked poured out evil things between righteousness and wickedness if you ask me i prefer righteousness and as a righteous man my heart studied to answer i listen i observe i analyze issues i appraise them just pushing them together making comparison between among realities on ground before i will make my own contribution and contribution my making my contribution is not the same thing as attacking the opinion of my spouse or attacking the suggestion of my partner because as much as my opinion is important
to me my partner also deserves our own respect so let's not your first reaction to issues in your marriage be that of objection hear your partner out respect your partner be a good listener let your partner have a voice in your marriage let your partner have a say in your marriage so that both of you can feel a sense of belonging in that marriage my prayer for you and your marriage is that you will continue to experience the lost peace [Music] you
