so there's one thing that you said that I just have to go back to because I'm sure people will want to go back to is you said I'm a good girl yeah and therefore I can't do all of these sexual things are you suggesting that you're a good girl if you don't have a large sexual repertoire I don't think it's about having no skills or anything like that but I would say it's not personally I'm not saying me good girl I'm saying in general good women I would just say that women that are accustomed to
monogamy find sex sacred that's all it is so sex is a sacred experience it's not that they're madly in love with their husband sometimes it's just that they don't want to have sex with anybody else simple as that they don't want to touch another man once they're with this man he could be a nightmare he could drive her crazy he could be unfaithful he could be a headache her monogamy comes from her perception of sex and usually her perception of sex is that it's incredibly sacr it's not something you spread around freely and I don't
feel comfortable exposing these skill sets that I've learned to any man women who are able to expose a lot of that to several men early very early on just have a more relaxed perception of sex I'm not saying they're wrong or bad women but their perception of sex is it's a fun activity it's not a sacred activity nothing wrong with that but as a result of it being a fun activity just like how you might play tennis with a couple of people and they might see sex in that same way it's not that serious if
you want to know how monogamous a woman is it's not how you treat her it's how she sees SE this is going to be dangerous uh but but let's talk about one of the reasons why uh and I've heard you talk about this why it is so challenging and that is pornography yeah especially men viewing pornography so is is that your your opinion that pornography is actually is drastically hurting modern day I I feel a bit like a broken record because it's like when somebody comes to me first thing I ask is what's the pornography
habit and firstly what it does is if they're single it primes them for being cheated on in their relationships heavily and the reason why they it primes them for being cheated on when you watch a lot of frog pornography is men are become impatient with sexual satisfaction the more pornography they watch so when they're dating and on the dating scene the woman that takes a lot of warming up before she gets promiscuous or before she starts to introduce new ideas and stuff she good women they take a they need emotional connection first women that are
actually monogamous they need emotional connection and then you can experiment what happens with men that watch a lot pornography they don't have patience for a girl like that they want a girl that is happy to join thre Sims use all sorts of toys do all sorts of craziness from day one that's the girl they want they don't realize in the process of selecting that she has to have some level of priscu behind her so as a result they get attached to this fantastic sex that they get immediately not realizing the woman comes with an unconscious
contract that I do this all the time you are not special to me I can be this promiscuous and this freaky with several men so they end up getting madly attached to this woman who has a different perspective on monogamy and monogamous sex the second thing it does is it really ruins their sexual performance but they think they're fantastic so it gives a complete warped perception of reality they think they're reincarnating all these moves and showing her all these skills and she's going to love this I'm G to throw her around the bedroom and do
this that the other she's just thinking this feels like mutual masturbation it doesn't feel connected in any way shape or form so they actually end up being a Serial datas in one night stands not because they're so great it's because women don't come back to them women don't want them again they don't want that kind of dis and the only ones that might do are the ones that are incredibly promiscuous and like that kind of vibe and therefore they end up in relationships that actually were built on intimacy but don't have any intimacy and that's
the problem I find wow do do you see any positives to pornography I have to say I'm biased with this yeah this is a thing I have to say I'm very biased with this because of my religious beliefs and stuff I haven't engaged in pornography so I can't tell you what the positives are and when I do look at the research they do show that it does help spice up the relationship it does help do all of those things it's just that the dangers outweigh the positives just like with gambling alcohol and drugs and stuff
that for that reason I'm always like please be aware of it but I do find that what it does in in the men's ability to connect with their wives in particularly in marriages is that it's not worth it when a woman is dating or married to a porn addict she feels like she can't get through to him because her normal way of like kind of getting resolving conflict or getting a man back on side is through intimacy when he is able to Outsource that she loses her ability to reconnect with him and therefore the marriage
ends up drifting apart all right so you have to bear that in mind this is fair so now we're living in a day and age where uh there's a massive I will call sex positivity Movement we had a guest talking about monogamish relationships polyamorous relationships polyandrous relationships do you believe that that non- monogamous relationships is that helpful or hurtful to dating um do you know it's hard to tell because look culturally people have always been polygamist and it's always worked it's never been so much of a problem uh in this day and age I think
because the exit plan is so easy when things are not working out polygamy added to that doesn't actually help um I haven't actually seen too many polygamous marriages work out and the reason being is I've in my personal experience what I've noticed is when a man allows a woman to access another man on his watch she can no longer trust and respect her original man ever again something happens to her maybe with women it's different I I don't know enough but say for example if my husband says hey you can go sleep with this guy
no worries go go have fun enjoy yourself just keep me in the loop in the process of me doing that what will happen is I don't feel like he's protective and Prov like he's not a protective man anymore I could be wrong but that's what I noticed this is fair and I like how you preface that from my experience so what what about the woman in that situation that would push back and say well I have complete agency yeah over my body and I can protect and provide myself oh in that case then here's the
thing marriage isn't for you then that's it's as simple as that I'll meet girls that say I'm a complete free person I have complete agency over my sex I don't need someone telling me what to do marriage is an institution it involves restrictions it involves being answerable to somebody it the whole process is like checking yourself into prison and saying I'm a free person marriage is an emotional prison in some ways so when you have that mentality by all means have that mentality but don't try and squeeze it into marriage does marriage isn't for you
then because marriage involves compromising sometimes we have to let go of our agency and replace it with Community the two of us yeah communal we have to make communal decisions if you are opposed to communal decisions and anybody stepping in and saying sometimes I know you're free to do whatever you want but that affects me that makes me feel uncomfortable when you're going out with that guy at this time and it makes me feel uncomfortable if your response is well I do what I want you're not fit to be a wife but if your response
is I understand there's times where you do certain things that I also don't like I don't also like when you're talking to that that secretary I don't feel comfortable when both of you understand that there sometimes you have to do what's best for the marriage rather than what's best for you you're built to be married wow I tell you what what you are saying right here and now is is completely counter to what you hear pop media yes talking about right now is very bold and I also mentioned that even if a man is like
that marriage is not for him yes even if a man I promise you even if you have a man who's like I do whatever I want you can't tell me what to do if I'm going to go to the club I'm going to go to the club if I want to like pictures I'm going to like pictures don't tell me no worries but you're not a husband right yeah and the reason why though and I'm with you because you're not saying it's it's gender specific but the reason why I think it's it's so interesting and
why it's so bold for you to say this is because of what we talked about with the sexual Revolution yes and this whole idea of women now are out earning men especially under the age of 35 out educating men especially under the age of 35 uh and and and at a place where many women can protect themselves provide for themselves but yet are still interested in having a committed long-term relationship like a like a marriage and you're saying marriage is not for you that's bold but well I just think isn't that common sense because the
whole purpose of a marriage is taking one person and deciding that you're the person that sometimes I might forgo my personal desires to make our Union work and he should be doing the same thing now if neither of us are prepared to do that we can't be married we can be friends we can be living together we can do something but we can't be married but from your perspective as somebody who is married do you feel like sometimes you do have to forgo what you truly want in order to make the marriage work or do
you think it should just be two agencies yeah so this this is a great question and this is where to a certain degree I I I I agree with you but where I disagree with you is that it's dependent on the type of relationship that you want right you know I think that when you speak and there's the reason why I think it's it it it is so confident is that you speak with a certain set of values yeah right but the challenge though is that you can't take those values and apply them to everyone
right because everyone has a different set of of values AB and so uh but I think you and I share a lot of the same values so when I hear you I'm like okay I get it I you're say you think that if two people wanted to be totally independent and do whatever they want and came together in a marriage do you think they could still last a long time or do you think the the com the lack of compromise would eventually lead them to break up depends what you want you know there's a massive
movement around living apart but together right and uh and I have friends actually who are in this zone so they sleep in different beds a matter of fact sometimes they sleep in different homes oh wow they have children but they are not they don't consider themselves intellectually equal right they don't consider themselves best friends you know they have a loose relationship they're completely satisfied with their relationship I don't think they'll ever break up could I exist in that relationship hell no well what I would say in those relationships where and I've witnessed this as well
particularly in Dubai people live double lives and yeah they they're very very affluent so they can afford to kind of you know separate rooms or something other nannies all that stuff so what I noticed in those scenarios is it's always one of those that's giving more to make that scenario work so one of them is paying both bills or one of them is cooking meals for so somebody's still investing more to keep that co-parenting environment alive and that's a person that resents the other more I think we're we're we're totally on the same page is
that on a percentage basis will those relationships you know higher percentage they fail absolutely yeah they will AB un but I can see the logic in it because I've seen that work where they waited until the kids are old enough where they can actually speak to them about the divorce and they can you know and I've SE and I'm like you know I understand that if it's waiting till the kids get into a particular school where they can both co-parent well why not do with that why not I'm with you I'm with you um I'm
loving this conversation all right let's talk about this too is that 2020 the number of only fan users was 8 5 million but in 2023 that number had increased to70 million is only fans helping or hurting modern dating um is destroying modern dating what I hate about the only fans conversation is how much the focus is on the girls that are ruining or dating there's 120 million users there's not 120 million only fans models it's the men that are funding this that are the real problem it's the men's obvious desire to kind of have interaction
with a woman that they're sexually attracted to that is fueling their poor self-destructive behavior and there's men that are married that do this there's men that and so it's a very ugly kind of es coping mechanism but I think something that is under reported is how many of the only fans girls are actually not taking home the money and it's actually going to a boyfriend that's set it up for her and it's actually going to a trafficker so the whole industry is very it's just a very dirty environment I can understand from the woman's perspective
she makes more money than she can ever make by herself and I always say this like as a woman who's had endless reach endless reach I don't make a quarter of an only fans model considering how much I help men it just shows you where M prioritizing in this day and age I don't think it's their fault I'm sure that the over sexualization of women and the sexual movement has made them like that but if it's anything towards a woman who doesn't love you doesn't care about you doesn't want you and you're just paying to
see her naked and the is paying for her sexual like attention you naturally start to hate yourself as a man you naturally start to hate yourself because deep down you get 10 minutes of pleasure but really you feel pathetic afterwards you you have to feel pathetic and if you don't you should because the self-esteem of a man is really measured by what he does in the dark if secretly he's watching a lot of pornography and paying for only fans girls trying to see them nakedly there's no way he can be proud of that behavior and
as a result he slowly starts to dislike himself and he does he engages in more and more self-destructive Behavior so I don't think it's a healthy environment what do you think of it yeah you said it's destroying it yeah we had a guest on uh Lauren gooder do you know Lauren gooder from from the only ways Essex oh yeah Lauren yes she was with Mar W yes we spoke a lot about Mar wri um she said something that really struck me and that was so she's on only fans okay but but she's on it reluctantly
okay because it was the only thing that she could do to bills it makes total sense you can't make that kind of money in the real world so why wouldn't you like it makes to I'm a Muslim woman it would never cross my mind but if I wasn't and if I didn't have this kind of hangup about sex or whatever it was and you can make thousands and thousands if you're lucky in one month and then retire after a couple of months or a year what is a no-brainer for a woman in this day and
age I just can't understand the male perspective in it I just can't well no matter how much I try and understand and this that and the other if curiosity is more important than you than self-respect there's problems all right we have to take a breath and say that only fans is not for everyone but it is for some people and it is a legal platform what Sai is talking about is her set of values and it really shows that she has high self-respect because she's holding her values and her beliefs in high regard that's what
self-respect means so so if you want to have self-respect if you want to nurture that what it means is first you need to identify what it is that you believe in what it is that you value and you have to hold it in high regard which means that you don't sneak around in private you shout about it from the rooftop so if only fans is your thing and you're proud of that so then talk about it talk to your partner about it share that with them that is holding yourself in high respect but if you
feel like you can't share with your partner that you look at only fans that's absolutely not having high self-respect there's a couple ways to look at it one is so there's a there's 170 million users uh we know there's probably four billion men so that's an infantile percentage of how many men so it is some of some of some of some of some men right so that's one secondly is that I so me personally it's interesting I was on a I was on a show uh we were talking about fans and the host said uh
well Paul what what do you think of only fans and I said you know I've never been on it and she said that's a lie yeah I said no I've really never been on it she said that's a lie all men have been on and I think that a massive challenge that men have and and this is something that I personally have it's it's an issue that I have is that we're we're loed into this one true category of you are stupid you are sex obsessed uh you will never make anything of your life yeah
and the fact is is that that's not helpful yeah it's not and it's not factual yeah you know but do you think that's a generational thing do you think that like maybe you escaped it but do you think if you were 28 do you think your mindset would be different mindset to to only fans like all these things because the conditioning received from these young boys is to sexualize them from a very very young age to get them used to seeing nudity all the time where paying for it is slow is is a gradual and
easy step right no no so so to your point of uh can it can it be detrial yeah I'm with you it absolutely can in a variety of ways do you think it could be healthy in any way yeah for I I do and and where I where I see it it it being helpful uh is especially if you're with a partner you know so uh there's several people that that uh that are friends of mine who are advocates for ethical pornography and when you have a partner and when you're discussing what's happening you're using
it as an opportunity to experiment you're using it as an opportunity to to to learn I think it it can be it can be healthy you know another piece of it is that I know there's quite a and I don't know how many couples but there are some couples should I say that that I know one in particular who they use only fans they use pornography as the turn on right right that's their availability or that's their opportunity to not physic Al interject a third person yeah but to but you know why I prefer people
using third people than actual pornography is because third people give you genuine reality check of what it's like to have an affair it's a headache it's a lot of work they these women come with their own baggage and issues I've met so many men that have actually had the affair and never again I'm going to be so monogamous to my wife because this girl that I had an affair with was an absolute nightmare D me crazy blah blah blah so the the the reason why I'm more of an advocate that you go sleep with 10
girls and watch one pornography or you go have a mistress and get addicted to pornography is because real women will give you real problems and real problems will remind you how much you love your wife but but instead of like that either or black or white what about the gray which is the the the the partnership who says you know what we love each other we want to have uh a third person in temp temporarily we we had a guest on who uh they go to sex parties right I'm I'm assuming you are not pro
sex parties absolutely you not at a sex party last night were you s I'm so sorry I missed it that night but next week and actually they were saying that London has some wild really sex parties go what was interesting is that they said that what they do is similar but it's it is better than P than watching pornography they don't have sex with other people but they have have sex in front of other people watch other people get turned on by it's the voyerism okay theism yeah okay so fulfill of fantasy in that moment
yes do you know what it is I just I need to see long-term data on only fans pornography and thre SS for me to then understand what the real reality is because it's been compact in our generation we don't know what it's like in the long term so because of that I have to reserve judgment but my my general issue it tends to be with just three sens of and stuff like that in general is the couple is using another human being as a toy and I feel a bit like we as human beings shouldn't
really start to De degrade human beings into just stimulants to our pleasure so when we're saying that that's empowering in the sexual Freedom what about that third girl like what about her so whereas you know like I again this is where my cultureal biases where people always ask me oh but you're from a polygamous environment and you know you come from Muslim backgrounds where they have two wives for me I still see an element of respect to another woman that you're marrying providing having children for you're forced to be provider and protect in that environment
as well whereas a threesome environment is like she can be in your house and the next day we don't even know who she is what she is she could have a disease we don't care it's a lack of it's a psychopathy that we're breeding in human beings to use another human being as a device to stimulate your own pleasure that I take push back and and and I hear it but you know I've talked to the third girl and the third boy yes and typically what I hear is that they've detached themselves emotionally to what's
happening and they are there pleasing pleasure seeking themselves yeah but I still think consensual pleasure seeking has a long-term negative impact on a human being I don't know how much we are showing respect to people when we are just capitalizing on their vulnerability towards pleasure seeking in this moment in time and not thinking about in the long run we're good we've got each other we've going to have a family we're good you're going to be you know still roaming around I don't know how healthy that is for humans no I'm with you I think I
need to introduce you to my friend and you two need to go to a sex party together so you could watch how could I be on a beach without being a bit embarrassed yeah I'm a very very conservative human being so you're are you a one piece with a cover up at the beach women's only beaches and women's only swimming pools are you serious yeah I know women they have that in Dubai and and Falls as well it's just how I was raised it was just like a bikini SC as underwear so you're like it's
Haram it's har so and it's just stuck with you over the years yeah it's just stuck with me so weird oh w a strange no I mean it's it's interesting I live in Dubai where it's just all like there Sun see everywhere U but it's just what what I was raised as and I think I just kind of maintain welcome to my course on masculinity and in this course not only will I be able to out completely transform your understanding of women but on a more personal level you will enhance your self-esteem self- resect and
your boundaries the goal of this course is to take a man that has absolutely fantastic intentions wants to find love wants to commit wants to have a good healthy relationship but is finding that he's constantly running into women who are narcissistic who are disrespectful who are disloyal now if you are finding that continuously then there must be something in your engagement with women that is causing this what my course will do is look at where this design where this problem comes from how to resolve it how to communicate effectively with men and women and how
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