one of the most important things that separates us from the rest of the world that determines how far we go how high We rise is our ability to control our emotions now it's easy to talk about controlling emotions when everything is going well when life's smooth when things are falling into place when the sun is shining and you've got a good day well sure it's easy to stay calm to stay Collective but when life throws you a curveball when your plans don't work out when you experience disappointment now that's the test I've been there before
I know what it's like to have things go wrong to feel frustration to face challenges that seem overwhelming I've been in situations where I wanted to give in to those negative emotions anger fear worry but I'm telling you giving into those emotions will only take you further from your goals it will Cloud your judgment rob you of your energy and hold you back from making clear rational decisions the challenge in life is not that emotions come the challenge is what we do when they show up how do we respond because emotions if you're not careful
can be like a storm and when the storm blows through if you're not anchored it can blow you off course how many times have you been in a situation where your emotions got the best of you where you reacted too quickly said something you regretted made a decision that wasn't the best because you let your emotions take over it happens to all of us us but the key is learning to get better at managing those moments it's starts with awareness you have to be aware of what's going on inside you can't control what you don't
acknowledge too often people are so caught up in reacting to life they don't even realize they're letting their emotions run the run the show they're they're upset they're angry they're fearful and they just react they're like a puppet being pulled by the strings of their emotions but I'm here to tell you today you can cut those strings you don't have to be controlled by what you feel in the moment now let's talk about that word control what does it mean to control your emotions it doesn't mean to suppress them it doesn't mean to pretend you
don't feel anything it doesn't mean to become some kind of robot no that's not the point at all to control your emotions means to guide them to be in charge of how you respond to them to recognize when an emotion is there but not not let it control your actions it's like this imagine you're driving a car and your emotions are in the back seat they're with you sure you can't throw them out of the car but here's the key they don't get to drive you're the one behind the wheel they might make some noise
back there they might try to get your attention but at the end of the day you decide where the car goes you decide how fast or slow you go and you decide when to turn that's what it means to control your emotions now some emotions are more challenging than others aren't they fear is a big one fear has stopped more people from achieving their dreams than almost anything else fear of failure fear of rejection fear of the unknown but here's the thing about fear fear is natural fear is there to protect you but some sometimes
it goes too far fear is like an overprotective parent that doesn't want you to leave the house what if something goes wrong it says what if you fail what if you get hurt but here's the thing if you listen to Fear you'll never leave the house you'll never step into the world of possibilities when fear comes knocking acknowledge it say I see you I know why you're here but don't let it make the decisions for you remember you're the driver not fear fear can ride along but it doesn't get to steer another big emotion is
anger how many times have we let anger get the best of us how many relationships have been damaged how many opportunities lost because someone let anger take over anger is like fire it can consume everything in its path if you let it but here's the thing about fire it can also be controlled it can be used for good anger if controlled can fuel change it can push you to stand up for what's right to defend yourself or others but uncontrolled anger is destructive you've got to learn to pause that's the key pause take a breath
step back before you react give yourself a moment to think when you pause you give yourself the power to choose how you'll respond it might sound simple but I'll tell you that pause can make all the difference in the world it can save you from saying something in Anger that you'll regret later it can save you from making a decision out of frustration that will cost you dearly down the road the pause gives you control and what about sadness what about those moments when life knocks you down and you feel defeated when you've worked hard
you've given your best and it still didn't work out when you lose something or someone important to you those are tough moments and it's okay to feel sad it's okay to grieve to feel the weight of the loss but don't stay there don't unpack your bags and live in sadness feel it yes acknowledge it but then make a decision to keep moving forward life is still happening and there's still more ahead of you one of the most powerful things you can learn to do is to shift your focus when you're feeling overwhelmed by emotion whether
it's fear anger sadness or frustration shift your focus ask yourself what else is true right now maybe you're upset about something but what else is happening in your life that's positive maybe you're afraid of taking a step but what's the opportunity on the other side of that fear emotions will often try to make you focus on just one thing but life is bigger than that there's always more going on but you've got to look for it I remember working with a young man in my early days he was talented driven but he had a problem
his emotions were running his life if something didn't go his way he' get frustrated and quit if someone criticized him he'd get angry and lash out and he couldn't understand why he wasn't getting ahead I sat him down one day and I told him you've got to stop letting your emotions run the show you've got the talent you've got the drive but until you learn to control your emotions you're always going to be stuck it took time but he started to understand he started to practice that pause to shift his focus and little by little
he gained control and as he did something amazing happened his career took off people started to trust him more opportunities came his way because people saw that he was steady that he could handle the ups and downs without losing his head that's the power of emotional control it opens doors for you that you never even knew were there but here's the thing it's a lifelong practice you don't just wake up one day and suddenly have perfect control over your emotions no it's something you work on every day every day life will give you opportunities to
practice someone will cut you off in traffic something will go wrong at work you'll get frustrated with a friend or a loved one and in those moments you get to decide will I react or will I respond reacting is what most people do they feel something and they react instantly without thinking but responding that's different responding means you take a moment you think it through and then you choose how to act that's emotional control that's maturity that's power so how do we develop this skill of responding instead of reacting well one of the keys is
to develop a mindset of calm and how do you do that by focusing on what you can control and letting go of what you can so much of our emotional turmoil comes from trying to control things that are outside of our control other people circumstances the economy the weather but the truth is the only thing you really have control over is yourself your thoughts your actions your responses so when you find yourself getting worked up about something ask yourself is this something I can control if the answer is no then let it go Focus your
energy on what you can do and let the rest be your emotions are powerful but you are more powerful you are the one in control you get to decide how you respond to life how you handle the challenges that come your way and when you learn to control your emotions you'll find that life becomes so much more manageable you'll have more energy more clarity and more peace and that that's a life worth living
