Rafinha Bastos - no STRAWS in America

live in america trying to adjust it's a very crazy country over there you know uh it's a country you can use drugs guns but there's one thing that you cannot use if people get mad at you a straw i know that you guys here have the same thing oh it's true it's gonna kill me no it's not okay you know i wasn't a restaurant the other day in los angeles uh uh using a straw because i i like to fight the system so and this guy came up to me and he said you know this

thing that you're using one day it's gonna kill ya and i said my friend i'm a taco bell do you think i care about my life [Applause] just [ __ ] kill me i don't care i'm actually here to speed up my death and the diarrhea then i'm gonna get with this burrito she's gonna kill me much faster than a straw so he was like uh you know i'm still still learning you know you don't have to use another plastic stuff that's what i heard there they have to use the paper straw yeah the paper

straw tell you something [ __ ] the paper straw i hate the paper straw you know why because it's a huge lie because it looks like a normal straw so when you get the paper saw you think oh it's just a straw you put it in your drink 24 seconds later it feels like you're sucking a newspaper eat it now you have to use the paper straw because the paper straw is not bad for the ocean because it dissolves in water i'll give you some time to think about it okay no the plastic straw that's

what i heard the plastic starts killing our turtles turtles which is maybe the hardest word to say in [ __ ] english turtles just change it for fishes with hats i don't know help me it's difficult english skill in your third i don't want to sound harsh with turtles but you know what [ __ ] the turtles you know cause if my species is not able to handle a straw maybe it doesn't deserve to live i'm sorry how difficult it is to dodge from a straw under water that thing comes in [ __ ] slow

motion just move turtle it's not that difficult i'm gonna teach you turtle look at this throw scummy oh i'm gonna die oh my god i'm gonna die two hours later oh still coming oh my god nine hours later what the [ __ ] what do this do this that's it you're alive now what happened with turtles when i was a little kid they were [ __ ] ninjas that was my time thank you very much guys thank you i