IDIOCRACY Opening Scene (2006) Mike Judge

as the 21st century began human evolution was at a turning point natural selection the process by which the strongest the smartest the fastest reproduced in greater numbers than the rest a process which at once favored the noblest traits of man now began to favor different traits most science-fiction of the day predicted a future that was more civilized and more intelligent but as time went on things seemed to be heading in the opposite direction a dumbing down how did this happen evolution does not necessarily reward intelligence with no natural predators death in the herd it began

to simply reward those who reproduce the most and left the intelligent to become an endangered species having kids is such an important decision we're just waiting for the right time it's not something you want to rush into obviously no way there's no way we could have a child now not with the market the way it is no that just wouldn't make any sense [Music] well we finally decided to have children and I'm not pointing fingers but it's not going well and this is helping I'm just saying that before I have in vitro maybe you should

be willing it's always me right no it's not my sperm count [Applause] Levon is lucky to be alive he attempted to jump a jet ski from a lake into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate but thanks to recent advances in stem cell research and the fine work of doctors Krinsky and Altschuler Cleavon should regain full reproductive function unfortunately Trevor passed away from a heart attack while masturbating to produce sperm for artificial insemination but I have some eggs frozen so just as soon as the right guy comes along the few if

any seem to notice at the dawn of the 21st century the army began a top-secret experiment meet Joe Bowers our first subject for the human hibernation experiment as you know this is highly classified however if successful we believe humans can be stored indefinitely however the trial run prone to human error see an ear and Joe slept slightly longer than expected half a millennium to be exact from my judge creator of office space and beavis and butt-head if you were the smartest person in the world this was in your mouth this one goes in your butt

and the second this one this one goes in your mouth and we're stuck with the dumbest people in history if you have one bucket that holds two gallons and another bucket that holds five gallons how many buckets do you have two what would you do excuse me um I'm actually supposed to be getting out of prison you're in the wrong line I'm the smartest guy in the world says who but IQ test you took in prison you got the highest score history even smarter president Camacho in the year 2505 got this God he's gonna fix

everything so you smoke the ordinary will be considered extraordinary that's who here would be pick up idiocracy for the smartest guy in the world you're pretty dumb sometimes [Music] you