everything in the 90s was fire and rooftops i even think this happened in blank check at one point unless you've passed for sports or something and is that what you did on the day in question the prosecutor asked the plaintiff questions facing the defendant rather than his own client through this entire scene are you supposed to project empathy for your client because this doesn't seem like a very good way to do it he said he was testing to see if i had any special feelings just in case you didn't realize what a [ __ ]
scumbag this dude is they make this guy's fingers slightly wet so that two minutes into this movie you have to go take a shower not every theater in the country had the facilities to accommodate this movie so some operators had to hose customers down and dry them off before letting them back in to watch the remaining two hours and 20 minutes you were encouraged to wear moisture wicking fabric no one except kevin sees this i have nothing further here suffer the indignity of my glasses of shame as your attorney i'm advising you to keep the
[ __ ] away from me i imagine it's a good sound practice to yell at your client outside the courtroom after devastating testimony never called him a disgusting pig monster laughing at a pedophile's trial your honor i've pre-marked this defense exhibit a objection your honor we've had plenty of time for discovery here i'm gonna let this in mr lomax basically this movie tells us that every break kevin needs is provided by satan himself and there's this thing called free will that makes people choose the bad stuff over the good but this is an outright absurdity
to allow a drawing that wasn't even given to the defense until their client was on the stand his life is on the line this is not a joke i don't care if it's your job or not yelling at a child on the stand who is accusing a teacher of sexually assaulting her will always be a sin card huh how does that make a hypothetical practical joke better that's racist church i'm not sure the point of john milton watching kevin from afar at this moment in the movie i mean why not be in the courtroom and
greet him is this stalking technique going to get him more information than normal man look at the way kevin calls a cab that's my son not [ __ ] guilty when you first watch this you're like yay kevin you're the best and then later you're like oh these are some really people getting back on the street because of kevin's magic satanic jury voodoo maybe i shouldn't even root for this guy why is the south african charlize theron way more convincing than american keanu reeves at playing southern this is our home office but we have quite
a few international arrangements if john milton's wanted his son to be part of the family business for so long why didn't he build a florida branch that would have lured kevin into his circle early on or semi-directed kevin's work to new york in the first place so heath just left kevin behind wasn't he giving kevin a tour and how does kevin know he's supposed to walk through these doors there are hallways on either side of them that he could have to go down galleries al pacino in the same movie at last upstairs men's room the
duval county courthouse there's a hole in the wall straight through to the next room i spent five years listening to jury's deliberate and nobody ever saw you doing it and no other lawyer figured this out for five years i need to warn you about one thing there are gonna be some very envious people down at the firm a moment later the heath say that it took them six years to get an apartment like this so they're really hammering that envy thing but nothing ever comes of it yeah let's go back to gainesville we'll go back
to the condo you can keep scrounging for clients scrounging for clients look i'd want to stay in new york too but why would kevin have a hard time finding clients in gainesville and surrounding areas when he's got an undefeated record and massive publicity from his last case how the [ __ ] would you have a hard time getting clients walter krasner maritime law you said harry bentley wrong years before he got in legal trouble movie had the foresight to put jeffrey jones in the satanic law firm you're going to be expediting his new york bar
application right it's in the pipeline for now we'll just have you work pro hock vj milton is the devil and he can magically make the new york bar association do whatever he wants them to but kevin doesn't know that and he should be very aware that florida new york do not have a reciprocity agreement and he would have to take the new york bar exam i thought you said it was impossible i thought you said it was important thinking that picking out patterns is important why is the first light halfway down the stairs the outside
light covers the top if you're coming through here during the day but what about night time holy that is way too many candles for this small of an area that entire floor should just be covered in wax if this is the amount moyas is consistently burning with this tongue we create silence so the whole reason for kevin to come down into this man's basement is so that he can tell him who the prosecuting attorney is so that delroy lindo can do some voodoo what the [ __ ] why does marianne paint the walls with the
color she wants if she's going to keep asking jackie for her approval why not get the color she approves of before putting it on the walls i know the simplest answer to this is she needs to do whatever she likes and not worry about [ __ ] jackie but the movie seems to think she needs her approval so movie expertly tells us what the real evil is fast food this is the first time since i've been 13 years old i don't have a job or two i just feel like i'm floating around in that place
one major problem with this movie is that marianne's downward spiral is pretty important to the storyline but she's in the movie so rarely we only see snippets we also only see the extremes from here on out but don't actually see the things that take her to those places and in a movie that's over two hours and 20 minutes a little more time could have been given to her why is murto coughing just now is moya is able to set a timetable with the tongue cutting ceremony even if that was the case how would he know
when murto was going to object or say anything are you telling me he hasn't tried to say anything up to this point also this movie is actually saying that just because this attorney is having a coughing fit that kevin gets the dismissal that he wants like wouldn't the judge call a recess and make sure this guy can go on and if he couldn't wouldn't another attorney show up to make the proper arguments did kevin even need this coughing fit to get his dismissal sounded like he made a pretty good case don't ever let him see
you coming i beat a little guy you know the nerd the leper and surfer wait not to be insensitive but you're telling me that no one would see a leper coming and how is a sh kicking surfer innocuous i mean something like that may work for johnny utah but it's not going to work for a lawyer i'm the hand of mona lisa's skirt i'm a surprise kevin they don't see me coming i'm trying to wrap my head around this metaphor how does being the hand up mona lisa skirt make you more of a surprise i
mean i guess you could be saying that's why she has that smile on her face and nobody can see me because i'm just below the frame but that's a huge insult to the observational skills of leonardo da vinci john's asking about a chicken that can play tic-tac-toe but i think it's just the movie wanted to show us that he's multilingual we never get to see that [ __ ] chicken and that's a shame milton is a [ __ ] tease donald trump was supposed to be here in my video this is emergency what happened did
someone from the accounting department accidentally pay a contractor you want me to pull my hair back no one will be seated during the al pacino gives beauty tips to shirley's theron scene well this background certainly looks real bet you like to be on top flirting with your half brother [Music] flirting with your daughter i want you to go find heath and eddie barzoo bring him up to my place do it quietly i honestly don't understand the secrecy here why can't jon just tell them to meet him up in the office at this point why can't
he just find them and point up and they know it means to go there pam have you seen kevin jesus how big is this place how hard could it be to find him also let's not forget john just told kevin to go back inside and find eddie and heath and he finds those guys almost [ __ ] immediately he's wandering around the party finding people so how did she miss him when he was doing all that no bedroom where's he sleeping who says he sleeps yeah that's a normal answer kevin should be totally satisfied and
not find it strange at all that the head of the firm's penthouse apartment is just one big room that looks like a medieval torture chamber what does he [ __ ] everywhere welcome to one of the many moments that make this trash movie so enjoyable it's like keanu is the straight man and pacino is the comic it's all set up so that keanu's weird lines can set up pacino's zealous answers this won't be the last time we're removing sins from this movie oh there's pam how is it possible that pam has already made her way
downtown talked to cullen and is ready to report back to the team she was just downstairs in eddie's apartment a few minutes ago when marianne was asking if she'd seen kevin and suddenly the building switched to red lighting to symbolize a descent into hell all of a sudden it's pretty cool when your apartment knows what's up wait the day after alex's wife stepson and maid all get murdered he goes to a construction site whether he's the killer or not why would you do this you need immediate representation i have a 14 year old stepdaughter who
i care more about than anything in this world what the [ __ ] does that have to do with what kevin just said some parts of this screenplay feel like a chicken was picking out lines of dialogue from a hat maybe even that tic-tac-toe chicken john was telling us about why is this the moment marianne sees that jackie might have a demon inside her i would say it's all in her head except this movie is about the little devil i don't know what to do let's make a baby makeup babymaking in this movie john makes
a point to say that he doesn't make people do anything he just presents opportunities that make people forget what's really important to them so john is fantasizing about the fetching chris de bella while he's about to have sex with his wife the problem is he's married to charlie's goddamn fear i know she'd like cut her hair but damn also another thing this movie handles poorly is allowing us to understand if what our characters are seeing is real or just in their minds is christabella playing a mind game with kevin or is he just imagining this
it's probably the latter but with the weird visions we've seen from both marianne and kevin up to this point it's hard to know i'm sure the movie wants to say it's devil but that's just lazy this movie is too good in other parts to get away with it two prince by the gun right hand right knee and i would have gotten away with a two if it wasn't for those meddling kids oh and that [ __ ] knee print i left three for you and my place where you will be having a threesome on a
couch and one of the participants is your daughter but you know the old saying when in babylon it's amazing that someone bothered to write an actual article under this headline especially since it's the 90s and i'm mostly expecting some vague that has nothing to do with the headline at all but what's more curious is that in a case where the movie finally shows a real article you can't really read it because the text is so small on screen how would kevin not know about this he or cullen would have been contacted for a quote with
a story that big justice department weaver commission you don't know about weaver this sequence would make you think the weaver commission is vital to the film's storyline but you'd be wrong so you'd think that john would want to keep a low profile and never just come out and show he's got these powers especially since he lives by the hand up mona lisa skirt and they don't see me coming philosophy but i think this scene is entirely for the audience what would happen if he ran into someone whose wife wasn't cheating on him what did you
say to him i told him that if he didn't leave us alone you were going to kick his ass kevin believes this jesus we see an almost fight on the subway we see rory jones jr and the days he was known more as a boxer than he was for his role in the matrix reloaded and now we're at this late night joint it's insane that a movie with all that great al pacino speechifying wastes this much time on the way there public blow dropping baby how did you get here assuming this is all milton [
__ ] with marianne then why is he going about it this way he's the [ __ ] devil if he needs her out of the way he could just kill her right yeah yeah maybe that would send kevin down a spiraling path but he could just take him to more boxing matches or whatever husbands do to get over their dead wives marriage was a dream not a dream if it's true okay so later in the scene marianne will tell kevin that she went to the doctor and found out she can't have children so why is
she so certain that the nightmare she just had with the baby playing with her ovaries is real then i mean yeah she's definitely tuned into the fact that this place is evil doesn't make sense that her previously healthy body can't produce children but the dream is what got us here if the doctor told her your ovaries are gone then we'd have a case instead we're supposed to believe actual cutting occurred they could have just made this cancer and it would have done the trick but i guess a mainstream audience really needed to see a [
__ ] baby holding up ovaries they took my ovaries kevin this line is proof that there's nothing charlize theron can say that would kill a boner i knew the da was holding out on us oh yeah da's are notorious for withholding evidence just because sure we could just say the devil made him do it or some but in this case the devil is the screenwriter looking for a way to get kevin away from his wife who clearly needs him i get one supervised hour a week with my stepdaughter later we find out colin has 15
minutes left with his stepdaughter kevin can't spare 15 minutes i was boning my assistant tonight my wife got shot her nickname for me in bed is mr incredible you know what scares me i quit the case she gets better and i hate her for it this is john's gotcha later when kevin accuses him of making him take the case we know kevin is driven but one thing this movie doesn't really express is why he's willing to ignore mary and to defend cullen sure the movie expresses the whole live in an awesome apartment in new york
and made lots of money angle but we haven't heard any backstory about why kevin wants this so much to the point of ignoring his wife is it because he's from florida and wants to prove a small town lawyer can make it in the big city never expressed is it because he thinks he'll be a failure if he quits he never says it has to be a bigger motive than what is shown in this movie and when all that evidence is laid before you how has this trial already started even if this got moved up to
as soon as possible it would still be months before they got this case before a judge and a jury he's cheated the city his partners his employees sure kevin's strategy is to tell the jury that colin is such a bad man that he was cheating on his wife the night she was murdered but why do you have to throw in all the stuff about cheating the city his partners and employees wanna go ahead and start with the cheating listen to me like you've never listened to anybody before in your life [Laughter] why don't you say
something before and it doesn't look spontaneous oh yeah totally forget about the alibi it's the spontaneity of reverse psychology that wins the day man this remake of marathon man is terrible as they reach out to their pristine kybernetic keyboards did john milton just say kybernetic it's weird because just the other day i was attacked by a kyborg and while he was sampling my dna i asked him why cyborg and he said hold on a sec yeah uh-huh oh uh-huh i'm not allowed to share that information so wait is marianne having a premonition about eddie barzun
for some reason why he's dead he was killed when last night in the park first off who the [ __ ] is that second all of you didn't hear them from that far away to answer that question and third off why did you think you needed to answer it he set me up colin set me up melissa the whole thing god damn it this whole talking loudly about your client's guilt is really just a kevin lomax special i guess he's supposed to be a great defense attorney right all right mr lomax you may present your
case i'm going to guess pausing this long before calling your a-list witness is not a great strategy but hey it works so what do i know maybe new york juries just really love coach he'll let himself in you need to know that marianne is about to tell kevin that she and john had sex but she's going to play the pronoun game an extra long time to get there 30 seconds to be exact he was in court in my presence all afternoon oh so satan has the power to be in two places at once now why
is he such a champion of riding on the subway if he can do that chemical weapons and toxic waste why is this justice department guy telling kevin all the criminals he's looking into at milton's firm don't you find out what a person knows before you reveal anything if milton has all this power why wouldn't he have killed weaver when he was worming his way into eddie's life also jesus look at this lackadaisical crossing the street without looking you don't even need satan's influence to die when you're this stupid um what are you doing here i
came this morning i kept calling the house and getting no answer wait you called the house this morning and got no answer and you felt like that was enough to go to new york at a moment's notice even if you've been calling for a week pam says she made the flight arrangements couldn't she have asked pam to talk to kevin we got her on the first flight up this morning and i didn't contact you and let you know because reasons bear it's okay open the door jesus this hospital has the worst staff in history and
why was a patient allowed to be alone with someone before checking for potential weapons for self-harm where are the doctors we have nosy patients we have no nosy patients 1966 you're in new york there's a waiter in a restaurant kevin's mom is about to tell him a story about how she met his dad who was john milton but why would john be a waiter in a restaurant i know satan can be whatever he wants to get the people to do what he wants but why a waiter i want to hear you say it the most
frustrating scene in this movie is kevin asking his mom to say it while she dodges the question in the most annoying manner for a full 20 seconds and there's no use in this delay whatsoever because everyone watching knows john milnes is dead and i'm pretty sure he does but it's all to build drama for a scene for some reason satan turns the streets of new york into i am legends so he can have a meeting with his son i'm no puppeteer kevin i don't make things happen i feel like the movie is saying that john
is telling the truth here but what about the death of eddie barzun sure people running around in central park get mugged all the time but these guys had demonic faces and it happened just after eddie threatened kevin and what else would have caused this dude from the justice department to just run into the middle of the street without looking straight into a speeding car however when it comes to two actors on screen monologuing each other to death there's grant mason walk and hopper and these 15 glorious minutes of reeves pacino i get that milton is
the devil and the bullets wouldn't phase him but his clothes aren't the devil they should have bullet holes in them and they do not also has kevin just been carrying around cullen's gun since he took it from him why would he do that and why didn't kevin give it back to cullen like he said he would once the trial was over what are you oh i have so many names scene steals seven percent of cinemasins outtake material see call me dad as over the top and insane as this movie is for the first two hours
it's super odd that they choose now to dance around whether or not milton is satan what did you do you know what scares me john i leave the case she gets better and then i hate her for it oh wow in addition to being the supreme leader of evil on earth satan is also a goddamn great digital voice recorder also what was up with this just a minute prior it was a nice run kev had to close out someday nobody wins them all why doesn't he do the same thing when he's quoting the reporter guy
also also john is adding it then that kevin didn't say in the earlier action you know what scares me i quit the case she gets better and i hit her for it and then i hate her four and yes it's one word but if you think we're gonna let that go without sinning then you don't know us very well lose i don't lose i win i win i'm a lawyer that's my job that's what i do taking it to the max vanity is definitely my favorite sin vanity i've had so many children i've had so
many disappointments mistake after mistake and then there's you i really don't understand how a supernatural evil force has all these children for thousands of years but somehow none of them until kevin became suitable for his plan it's like ego and guardians of the galaxy too we're supposed to believe they rarely have special children even though it's encoded in their dna he sets the rules in opposition look but don't touch touch but don't taste taste don't swallow al pacino makes you want to remove sins for satan he's laughing his sick [ __ ] ass off he's
a tight ass he's a sadist he's an absentee landlord worship that never i mean i'm really beginning to believe this is where the screenwriters started the script and then they just put in a couple hours of trash to build up to it it's entertaining trash for trash nonetheless and oh yeah here's another cinahl i'm a fan of man who's gonna mention here that prior to seeing the subtitles i went around for years trying to figure out what a phantom man was she's ovulating i feel like if jon wanted to get crystal bella and kevin together
for some baby-making he could have done that a lot sooner than this i understand winning that case for the pedophile teacher was a big moment but the movie's hinted at a number of other cases he shouldn't want how did john not know how special kevin was earlier seems like he could have introduced christabella to him before he even met marianne and that's another thing the movie's saying that maybe john wasn't sure how awesome kevin was until recently why couldn't he have set the stage for an unholy mating between many of his children and gotten an
antichrist a lot sooner millennium's coming sir actually that had already gotten through one season before this movie was released but jon still had two seasons of lance hendrickson goodness and supporting role in a later episode of the x-files to look forward to how about the thing you love the most smile from a jury i thought we established that kevin loves himself above all things can't figure out what's creepier here half brother have sister sex so the fact that they would be doing it in front of their father i've decided that is a choice i just
never want to have to make in two marion minutes again two minutes we won't show you kevin suicide but how the does he have any bullets left he shot john about 60 times and twice more after that [Music] no we won't let john admit he's the devil but is more than happy to go bonkers with all the cgi for the finale guys i no longer know what's going on here devil's advocate inspires making constantine movie eight years prior to its release took 19 years but a movie found a more ridiculous reset button than superman flying
around the earth several times also even if this whole thing was a dream and you used inception timing rules there's no way he'd daydream that whole movie while standing at a bathroom sink and if john really did do a reset then he has magic but makes me wonder why he hasn't won the battle versus god already but i can no longer represent my client yes this teacher is guilty as [ __ ] and he deserves to go to jail for many years but come on this is still not fair to the defendant i imagine you
can ask the judge for a sidebar or something and tell him what's going on or you could throw the case by not bringing up the stuff you did when i guess you were dreaming call me in the morning so then what does kevin do interviews and continue being a lawyer after this i guess he was dreaming before so he could easily revert back to satan isn't real kind of thinking that would always be in the back of his mind though right they really fell in love with that morphing technology at the end of this movie
didn't they also was it a dream was it nah the movie wants it both ways and all the other ways so you can't tell what was real but at least they ended it with the rolling stones best song ever painted black ernie grunfeld's name gets misspelled in the credits and proves that even in 1997 the knicks weren't getting any respect hail said whoa now if i said it's that this is a friend of the house that would mean you were made guys there's this beautiful girl just [ __ ] me 40 ways from sunday i'm
in bed the next day she brought me cafe olay gives me a cigarette my balls feel like concrete say something nice you don't smell half as bad as you think you do when a woman unloads a husband or a husband unloads a woman however it happens death desertion divorce the three d's hello who's there i got enough some folks called it slang blade i call it a kiter blade they're the same model and size time i want one thing from you that's it one thing now imagine she's white lose i don't lose i win i
win i'm a lawyer i am an fbi agent
