Wife Left Me for Her Ex After 1 Month of Our Marriage. A Year Later, He Left Her at the Altar...

wife left me for her ex after one month of our marriage a year later he left her at the altar thinking we were having an affair she begged me to fix things but I told her it was Karma hey guys so I'm here to ask about something that happened recently at my ex-wife's wedding to her high school sweetheart for context my ex-wife I'll be referring to her as Sandra 28f and I 30m had been together for the past 3 years we met through a mutual friend and hit it off instantly after the first few dates

we decided that we were dating to Mary and if things went well then this would not end as a casual relationship so we were both very clear about what we wanted out of this relationship and she had every chance to back out of it if she was not ready but she chose to get divorced one month after our wedding a couple of months after we celebrated our 2-year anniversary I decided to ask her to marry me and she said yes before that obviously things had been great between us which is why I had asked her

to marry me in the first place but shockingly even after we got engaged there was literally no change in her behavior and I never would have been able to guess that she had started talking to her ex her high school sweetheart Brian once again we got married about 9 months ago and about a month after our wedding she told me the truth and we filed for a divorce it was one of the most difficult decisions that I had to make but when she told me that she still had feelings for Brian and she felt like

she had rushed into our relationship too quickly there was nothing else that I could do I had tried everything I had tried to tell her that this was just a phase and she was going to snap out of it soon I tried to be mad at her and tell her that everything would be fine if she just stopped talking to him and I tried to bargain with her tell her that we would be able to work out if we went went to coup's counseling but even I was aware of the fact that after this there

was literally no way that we would work this out because when she told me that she had been talking to him since we got engaged all the trust that I had just evaporated Into Thin Air and I can't be with somebody that I can't trust that's pretty basic so after some argument I accepted the fact that she still had feelings for her ex and our marriage was over as soon as it had begun after that day she packed her bags and moved out and we started the divorce proceedings it was relatively straightforward and the divorce

was finalized as soon as the waiting period was over which is just 3 months in our state since then I haven't heard from her but I have heard about her and what she's been up to and it hasn't been easy the friend who actually introduced us to each other nah is a co-worker of mine and she was seven when she told me that after she moved out and we filed for a divorce she immediately started going out with Brian again and they have been living together for months now two months ago I even learned from

her that they were engaged and were getting married in a small ceremony nah had been invited by Sandra as well since they had been really good friends in college but she decided to decline the invitation because she believed that whatever happened with me was not right thanks to Nina though I knew that they were supposed to get married about a week ago and last week on the day that they were supposed to get married I received a call from Sandra's mother's phone number I knew that it was actually Sandra calling because I had blocked her

and it was shocking because we hadn't spoken to each other since the divorce I couldn't imagine her having any reason to speak to me right now but just out of curiosity I decided to answer the phone call when I answered she immediately started rambling about how I needed to clear the air and tell everyone that we were not having an affair and that we hadn't even spoken in the past last couple of months it was clear from the way she was speaking that she had been crying and was quite hysterical I felt a little concerned

so I had to ask her to slow down and explain what was going on and she told me that apparently Brian had decided to just leave her at the altar because he thought that we were still getting together behind his back the reason he believed this was because a couple of days before the wedding he had seen a bunch of messages that she had been sending to me over the past few months I didn't know anything about these messages because I had blocked her right after we filed for a divorce because I didn't want to

hear from her anymore but apparently she had continu to send me messages apologizing to me for telling me that I deserve better the last message that she had sent to me was 2 weeks before the wedding saying that now that she was getting married again she was going to apologize One Last Time and she hoped that one day I would find it in myself to forgive her she told me that she knew that I wasn't receiving messages because she had been blocked but she still wanted to send them because it was her way of coping

with things Brian unfortunately did not approve of this and instead of just confronting her about it he started acting weird before the wedding and on the day of the wedding he made a speech about how he thought she was still in love with me and called her confused he announced to everyone present at the wedding that he believed that Sandra was still in love with me and was actually having an affair with me behind his back so now he was no longer interested in getting married to her because it was quite eye openening since if

she had found it so easy to dump me after 3 years it must have been quite easy for her to cheat on him as well and then he had walked away from the Altar and left her alone there she had tried to chase him down and talk to him after that but he just refused to believe anything that she was telling him so now the only hope that she had was if I spoke to him personally and told him that there was nothing going on and that I hadn't even received those messages because I had

blocked her I actually thought that it wasn't going to work by a long shot and I told her that it was a terrible idea to involve me in this and then I was about to hang up but she told me that all the time that we had spent together this was the least that I could do for her I got really annoyed when she said that and I told her that I don't owe her anything especially not after what she did and how she broke us up considering what had happened in the past it was

a big deal that I had even answered her phone call then I actually hung up and I blocked the number that she had been calling me from as well I think I did the right thing and I think anybody else in my place would have done the same thing as well but 2 days after that I received another message from her and that was on Facebook this time since I had blocked her everywhere she had to make a new account and reach out to me and she sent me a message saying that her wedding ended

up not taking place because Brian believed that she was still interested in me so the wedding got called off and for some reason she was blaming me for it apparently she believes that if I had just spoken to Brian and told him that there was nothing going on and that we truly hadn't been in contact since the divorce then he might have believed her and they would have been able to go through with a wedding but now the two of them are broken up and she thinks that it's all my fault I was not going

to respond to the message and was just to block her but I don't know why I felt like I had to say something so I texted her back saying that maybe this was karma for what she did to me and maybe she should consider the fact that she deserves this and after sending that message I finally blocked her I didn't think that it was going to be a big deal but the next day when I went to work nah told me that she had heard from Sandra's parents that she was going through a really bad

patch right now they had contacted her the previous night and told her everything everything about how Sandra had tried to get me to speak to Brian on their wedding day and clear the air so they could get married and I had refused and then what I had said about this being karma for her and how she deserved this Apparently after receiving that message she had a total mental breakdown and a Severe panic attack her parents were naturally blaming me for this and to my surprise even nah said that I shouldn't have replied to her at

all she seemed a little distant from me the day after that and told me that rather than kicking somebody when they're down I should have just been the bigger person and let it go because clearly she was going through something and it was not nice of me to say that to her her that day even nah and I ended up arguing over this because I thought that I had done the right thing and she thought that it had been kind of low of me to kick somebody when they were down nah believed that I had

every right to be upset with Sandra but if I really was upset with her I shouldn't have responded to her at all she told me that she believed I was a better person than this I told her that I did not want to be the better person I wanted to be Petty and get it off my chest so we ended up fighting and since then we haven't been speaking to each other and she is my best friend in the office so it's been pretty lonely and right now I'm one Wonder ing if it's even worth

it to fight over this at all nah had told me that the only way to make this right would be to just talk to Sandra and tell her that I did not mean what I said and I just said it in the Heat of the Moment I didn't even need to apologize necessarily but just speak to her once and stop her from breaking down over and over again because that's what had been happening ever since her wedding got called off and I had just made everything worse by what I said to her I knew that

she was mentally struggling and it was not surprising Sandra always had been very fragile and even when we were together she had a lot of issues but I had always been fine with it and took great care of her but right now I really don't want to say that I didn't mean what I said about this being karma for her and that she deserved this because I kind of did mean it I do feel bad about the fact that she had a mental breakdown over it and that she is going through something so awful but

then again she also put me through something really terrible and sometimes being sorry for things just doesn't cut it I feel like nah should understand that but instead she's been making me feel guilty and given the fact that she is one of my closest friends I have no option but to take her opinion seriously so that's how I have ended up here and I want to ask Ida for telling my ex-wife that she got left at the altar because it was karma for how she treated me edit hey okay so a lot of people wanted

to know more about Brian and Sandra's relationship with him I didn't add it in the original post because I personally did not think that it was relevant but anyway since you guys asked so Brian and Sandra got together when they were in their junior year of high school and they stayed together for about a year before they broke up for the first time according to what Sandra had told me while we were dating they had a pretty on andof kind of relationship and it was mostly Brian's fault apparently he was a really insecure guy and

couldn't stand whenever she spent time with anybody apart from him so they would constantly end up fighting any time she spoke to other guys or hung out with her friends without him and after a while it just got really toxic for her so she ended up breaking things off with him but a couple of months after that apologized and got back together again and this time they stayed together for 7 months before he started going back to his old habits again then they broke up again but they patched up when she started college they continued

to break up and patch up for several years after that until he had to move away for a couple of years for a job when he moved moved away they broke up for one final time and that was about 2 years before she met me after he moved away they did not have any contact and even when he came back he tried to contact her but she was with me so she didn't respond or at least that's what Sandra had told me I can't be sure anymore because she has lied to me about a lot

of things so she might have lied about this as well anyway when Brian came back here Sandra and I had already been together for a year and she was pretty serious about me but Brian was also pretty serious about her so he continued to try and reach out to her ignoring the fact that she was already with somebody by then from what Sandra told me she did not respond to him at the time and after a couple of months of texting her without any response he stopped as well but after telling her that he was

ready to wait for her then when we posted the news of our engagement in social media he reached out to her once again and he was pretty desperate this time he told her that he was ready to wait his entire life if that's what it took for her to come back to him but he was sure of the fact that they were soulmates and he couldn't let her make this mistake marrying somebody else while he was still around he started texting her relentlessly after we announced our engagement and would send her several messages every day

eventually she decided to reply to him only to tell him that she was over him but I don't think either of them believe that because they still continued to speak to each other on the last day that we spoke to each other and she told me everything she mentioned that she decided to meet him one last time before finally moving on for some closure so they met each other two weeks after we announced our engagement and I guess that's when she realized that she hadn't really moved on from him at all Sandra had told me

that when they met they had only talked to each other for a really long time about everything that had happened in the past and they had decided to stay friends but I'm not really sure of what really went down that day after that meeting she continued to keep in touch with him and gradually she started to develop feelings for him once again but she still decided to get married to me because she thought that this was just a phase and she would get over it as it turns out though it was not a phase and

she did not get over it and she did not realize it until after we were married and Brian told her that now that she was committed to somebody else for life he did not feel comfortable talking to her anymore because he knew that he was still in love with her it was the thought of losing him that made her realize that she was still in love with him which is when she decided to come clean to me so essentially she was fine with how things were going as long as she had both of us but

the second she had to choose she got uncomfortable and the Ugly Truth of the situation came out that she was still in love with him and not me so that was that and we filed for a divorce and here we are now I guess that's enough context for everyone right now update one I decided to talk to nah because it's been almost 9 days since we had our disagreement and our cubicles are right next to each other so it's pretty awkward to sit next to someone knowing that they don't like you with the moment the

tension was getting too much for me to handle so I decided to just rip off the Band-Aid and speak to her today when we had our lunch break I decided to stop her and I told her that I really valued our friendship and I did not want to break it off over something like this because as of now neither She nor I have anything to do with Sandra anymore so it would be pretty pointless for us to throw away our friendship over her we could just agree to disagree on this and call it a day

since it was pretty clear that we couldn't come to a common ground on this one but then again it was not necessary for friends to agree on everything besides she hasn't been in in my position so she doesn't really know how I feel after a couple of seconds of Silence she told me that she was glad that I had decided to take the initiative and speak to her because she herself had been planning on saying the same things to me she told me that what I had said about her never having been in my position

was entirely true and so it was not fair of her to judge me she told me she had just been mad at me because she had only been thinking about Sandra's mental state because everyone knows that she has always been very fragile but while worrying about her she forgot that even my mental and emotional health had definitely been affected by everything that Sandra had for me through and she hadn't been thinking about that just because Sandra had a meltdown because she couldn't get married it didn't invalidate my experience and she was ready to accept that

now so nah and I were able to reconcile and we're no longer fighting anymore and it's pretty nice because I got to know from her that Sandra's parents had been pestering her non-stop for the past couple of days so much so that she ended up blocking them since they were trying to get her to speak to me so I would contact Sandra and apologize to her I have no idea why Sandra and her parents think that talking to me is the solution to every problem but I guess that's just because they are used to me

being the solution I used to be her problem solved for the longest time when we were dating and like I said I used to take great care of her but that's over now and I don't want anything to do with him anymore so Sandra can continue to feel upset about what I said to her but I'm not going to take it back update 2 hey everyone so before I say anything else I would just like to say that it's really cute that you guys are telling me that nah and I should date but I think

of her as the sister that I never had and it's just platonic between us we could never even imagine dating each other it's just absurd and we are just always going to be good friends anyway now that that's out of the way I wanted to talk about what recently happened to me and Sandra she was supposed to get married almost more than 2 weeks ago but that never happened as we all know since then I guess she had been holding out hope that I would contact her again and tell her that I did not mean

what I said about this being her karma and that she deserved all of this like I had mentioned in my last update she and her family think that I am the one to blame for everything and speaking to me will be a solution for everything I guess she started taking that a little too seriously because today when I came back home from work she had her car parked outside my house and jumped out as soon as she saw me pull up it was very obvious that she was in a very delicate State and I could

tell that she had been crying even when she was in the car because her eyes were all red and puffy I really didn't want to fight with her mostly because she looked pathetic and also because I was really exhausted after work I asked her to leave politely when I saw her but she told me that she wasn't going to go anywhere without speaking to me she said that she had been beating herself up and feeling incredibly guilty about everything that had happened and now she had realized it was because she had never properly been able

to apologize to me she told me that she had thought a lot about my comment that this was her karma for putting me through something like that and that she deserved this and now she believes that if she genuinely apologized to me and I actually forgave her then maybe things would get better for her and maybe she would even be able to get Brian back because he hasn't spoken to her ever since he walked away from the altar it was already superstitious and I honestly did not know what to say but it wouldn't cost me

a thing to tell her that I forgave her and if it made her feel any better then I didn't have any qualms doing it so she told me quite formally that she was sorry about everything that had happened between us and she wished that she had been honest and transparent with me about everything right from the beginning it was quite awkward but I told her that I forgive her and she's free to move on now I didn't know what to expect after that I thought that she was probably just going to thank me and leave

but instead she hugged me and just started crying she told me that she really meant what she had said about being sorry for what she had put me through and told me that she wished that she had been more honest with me right when Brian had contacted her and then then she started telling me that I wasn't wrong for what I did by refusing to talk to Brian on the day of her wedding or even saying that this was her car she was the one who had overreacted and had been getting defensive because she was

just not ready to face the facts but now she knew that she had been wrong all along and she was really ashamed of herself she told me that not only had she disappointed a good man like me but she had also lost a good friend and the person that she had done it all for Brian was not even in her life anymore and was refusing to speak to her while she was telling me all this she was still hugging me and crying and I didn't know what to do so I just let her cry herself

out it was kind of shocking but after a while she let me go and she told me that she was really grateful that I had found myself to be so kind to her even after what she had done I was quite taken aback by her behavior but nevertheless I told her that it was all good and that I genuinely hoped that she found what she was looking for I also suggested that she should go back to therapy because clearly she's having a very tough time dealing with her life right now when I said that she

looked like she was going to start crying again but thankfully she did not she told me that she had been thinking about it herself because ever since her life had started going downhill she had been acting crazy and she could feel it herself she had been having several panic attacks every day and couldn't go more than 3 days without a complete breakdown which was obviously not good I felt really bad for her but there was not much that I could do so I just told her to hang in there and hope for the best then

she finally got back into her car and thanked me for everything and then started driving away and I finally got to ease up a little and go inside my house it was very strange but I guess it was the kind of closure that both of us needed I'm not sure about her but at least I definitely needed this because now I feel like I can move on from her I don't have any grudges against her I really do hope that she finds happy in her life because she needs it and as for me I know

that I'll be able to move on soon enough but I feel a lot lighter now since I have forgiven her and put an end to that chapter of My Life Update three hey so it's been almost a year since I got divorced and I haven't spoken to Sandra in a really long time but nah told me that she has heard from a couple of her College friends that she and Brian were able to make up again and eloped a couple of months ago good for them and I really hope that they are able to make

it work this time I'm also doing much better now and I'm focusing on work I tried to go out on a couple of dates but it was just not working out for me so I've decided to work on myself instead I've started working out and journaling and I even have plans to travel and I'm also going to start working on my business model since I've always wanted to start a business of my own and nah is also into the idea so I might have a partner in her already and no we are still not dating

and quite happy as platonic friends in fact nah has started dating one of my cousins and I was the one who was responsible for setting them up so I'm quite proud of myself because they're going really strong I guess this is not too much of an update where there is going to be a lot of drama it's it's just a life update that I thought I should share with you guys because people know that things do get better I'm over Sandra and everything that happened I'm just looking out for my own life now after that

last interaction that we had where I forgave her and stuff we didn't speak but I did unblock her we are not exactly following each other on any platform but she did me on my birthday and so did I maybe I loved her at one point in time and maybe she did too but right now we are both just civil to each other and we just want to avoid any drama I don't think we will ever be able to be friends but this is as good as it gets and I'm fine with it my life is

is going really well and in a way I'm glad that whatever happened because I think it made me a much stronger person than I thought I was I'm definitely not saying that I would wish something like that upon anybody else but all I'm saying is that it worked out for me and I guess eventually it does work out for people no matter what they're going through at the risk of sounding even more corny I'll end this update here thank you so much for checking up on me it means a lot [Music]